Duck Quacks Don't Echo. S02 E01.

deaddogsmoking
deaddogsmoking
  • 2 months ago
First broadcast 1st September 2014.

Lee Mack

Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant

Davina McCall
Paddy McGuinness
Stephen Mangan
Bella Dubois
Tahl Holtzman
Christian Kennett

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:21Hello, and welcome to Duckpatch Don't Echo.
00:23This is a show where we put unbelievable facts to the test.
00:26We've asked each of our guests to find their own favourite fact
00:29which we'll be scrutinising under strict scientific conditions.
00:32So who have we got with us tonight?
00:34An interesting fact about my first guest is that when he auditioned
00:37for the show Episodes, Matt LeBlanc's advice was,
00:40don't suck, which is the opposite to most auditions I've been to.
00:44LAUGHTER
00:45Please welcome Stephen Mannion.
00:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:53A fact about my next guest, and this is honestly true,
00:56is that he once got frisky in the kitchen with his wife
00:59and ended up in A&E after sitting on some chopped chillies.
01:02LAUGHTER
01:04To this day, he still can't listen to the Johnny Cash song Ring Of Fire.
01:08Please welcome Penny McGuinness.
01:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:13Thank you. It's true.
01:15It is, it is true. It is true.
01:17Right on.
01:19And an interesting fact about my final guest is that she has a picture
01:22of an extraterrestrial tattooed on her bottom,
01:25which means whenever she drops her trousers,
01:27she proves that aliens exist on the moon.
01:29Please welcome Davina McCall.
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36So, this is a show all about extraordinary and slightly bizarre facts.
01:40For example, you can tell if a pair of trousers will fit you
01:44by wrapping them round your neck.
01:46And if you don't believe me, have a look at this.
01:49Now, these trousers are not my trousers, they're too small, OK?
01:53So, if I wrap them round my neck, you will see.
01:56They don't fit, OK?
01:59Whose trousers are they? Like, Jeanette Cranky's trousers?
02:02LAUGHTER
02:04They're too small for Warwick Davis.
02:07And then you get the ones that are too big.
02:09Like that.
02:11Ian Cranky.
02:13LAUGHTER
02:16But then, these are genuinely my trousers, right?
02:19These are genuinely my trousers.
02:21So, you put them over your shoulder like that.
02:24Perfect fit.
02:26Wow.
02:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:30Thank you.
02:34Men and women?
02:35Men and women, yeah.
02:36So, if you actually... In fact, have you brought...
02:38In fact, Davina, have you got trousers? I have.
02:40Just let me check the minor size 30 waist.
02:44LAUGHTER
02:46Look at that. That's how Simon Cowell actually wears them.
02:50Davina, let's have a look. Yes, perfect.
02:53I feel like Simon's just sitting there.
02:55I do.
02:57It's impossible to crush an egg
03:00when you hold it at the top and the bottom.
03:02No. Yes.
03:04You doubt me, but look what I've got here. I've got some eggs.
03:06They're not hard-boiled. They're not hard-boiled. Thank you.
03:08Now, be careful with this, cos you've got to hold them
03:10exactly at the top and exactly at the bottom, all right?
03:12I mean, if you want to play safe, you do it with your finger
03:14and your thumb like that, you'll never be able to do it like that.
03:16I'll play it safe.
03:18You're upsetting me that I can't do it.
03:22Let me do like Uri Geller. Break. Break.
03:25I'm going to lay an egg and crush this any harder.
03:27Wow, that was so...
03:29It's incredible, isn't it? This is the science.
03:31I know this, I'm not reading it.
03:33The shape of the egg distributes the applied pressure evenly all over.
03:37I'm looking at the egg, I'm concentrating, I'm not reading.
03:39This means no one place on the egg will feel a force large enough to break it.
03:43So the pressure also forces the eggshell together to make it stronger.
03:46They are apparently the perfect structural shape for pressure.
03:49I say perfect structural shape, there's a few chickens watching this
03:52going, they could be a bit thinner when they come out my arse.
03:57OK, all our guests have brought facts, but who will be voted the best?
04:00It's time for round one, Fact Off.
04:07Stephen Mangan, you're up first. What's your fact?
04:10My fact is, after a conversation with an attractive woman,
04:15men are less able to perform mental tasks.
04:19Yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
04:21And the same is not true of women.
04:24Oh. The reverse is not true of women.
04:27When I say mental tasks, I don't mean jumping out of a second-floor window
04:30into a pond, I mean stuff...
04:34Stuff where you use your brain.
04:36So what you're saying is basically when you're looking at an attractive woman,
04:39it's almost like the blood isn't going round your head properly,
04:42almost as if it was somewhere else,
04:44but where would it be?
04:46Well, I mean, it all comes down to multitasking.
04:48When women look at men, I don't care how attractive the man is,
04:51I think they're like Benedict Cumberbatch and Sherlock,
04:53they just scan them and they can tell their personal hygiene,
04:56how much they earn a year, where they live,
04:58what they smell like, will they be a good kisser?
05:00Yes. They're like...
05:02Oh, no, you can't tell about the kisser, you can only tell about the kiss when you kiss.
05:05Thank God for that.
05:06Because you think that they might be a good kisser and then you kiss them
05:08and they're not a good kisser and it's a total turn-off.
05:10How do you judge whether someone's a good kisser?
05:12You know what I mean, before the kiss?
05:13If you get the fire.
05:14The fire?
05:15The fire.
05:16He got the fire, didn't he?
05:18Yes, I did.
05:19That was too much fire.
05:21How did that happen? I've got to know. What happened?
05:23Well, you know, when you're just in a relationship,
05:26you know, and you kind of do things off the cuff.
05:29I do things off the cuff before I'm in a relationship.
05:32I'd cooked some chilli earlier and I left the chilli seeds on the worktop,
05:36not thinking I was ever going to be on there naked.
05:38No.
05:39I jumped on there and it was immediate pain.
05:43Oh, my God.
05:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, let the ring see the sting.
05:48What was funny, I went to A&E and I went,
05:51oh, it's like, oh, it's all right,
05:53like as though it's a normal thing in Bolton.
05:56Oh, yeah, chilli up the rectum.
05:58Did you tell her the truth?
06:00Well, there's no lying, is there?
06:01Oh, I accidentally fell over in a chilli field naked.
06:06So what you're saying is that men looking at attractive women...
06:09Yeah. ..can't do anything else.
06:11It works after they've had a conversation with them
06:13and apparently it works even if they're just thinking
06:16about having a conversation with an attractive woman.
06:19But I also think that women also go doolally when they see a hot bloke.
06:23Well, do you know what? There's a good way of testing this.
06:25I need to see some proper evidence.
06:27Let's take a look at the experiment.
06:36We all know the power a lady can have over a man,
06:39but is it so strong that it can influence his mental ability?
06:44Here's Dr Bella Dubois to explain.
06:46We need to understand the scale of the impact
06:50that the presence of a very attractive woman can have on a male brain.
06:58Oh, so sorry, I wasn't concentrating there.
07:01Can we have another expert?
07:03If a heterosexual guy is given a task to do, such as a crossword,
07:07and there happens to be a very beautiful woman present,
07:10it's quite likely he'll divert his attention to focus on the woman
07:13because he's biologically programmed to select a mate and pass on his genes.
07:17Hmm, that sounds a bit caveman-like, though.
07:21By doing the crossword, he might be reducing his chances of finding a mate
07:25and allowing other rivals to take his place.
07:29That was much clearer.
07:31Don't do crosswords if you want to get lucky.
07:34But could we prove this in real life?
07:38This is our Duck Quacks Don't Echo test centre.
07:42We've told these five men that we're testing them
07:45to look at the differing mental abilities of men and women.
07:49What they didn't realise is they were guinea pigs in a test
07:52to see if talking to attractive women
07:54would affect their ability to perform a mental task.
07:58Firstly, having spent time exclusively in male company,
08:02each man faced a famous psychological test known as the Stroop test.
08:07Are you ready? Yep, ready. Fantastic. Let's go.
08:09Designed to measure processing speeds, all they had to do was look at 50 cards.
08:14Purple.
08:15And as quickly as possible, say out loud the colour of the ink the word was written in.
08:20Yellow.
08:21Green.
08:22Yellow.
08:23Red.
08:24The problem was that the colour of the ink
08:26rarely matched the name of the colour written on the card.
08:29Red.
08:30Yellow.
08:31And green.
08:32Our scientists measured the time it took to identify the colour and complete the test.
08:37Green.
08:38And before any female conversation whatsoever,
08:41the average time for our men to complete the test was 65 seconds.
08:48Now unbeknownst to the guys, it's time for the real test.
08:52Bring on the girls.
08:56We enrolled three attractive female volunteers
08:59to pose as researchers on our production team.
09:03Having rigged the studio with hidden cameras,
09:06our unsuspecting guinea pigs now got to spend time with the girls.
09:10All in the name of science, of course.
09:12Hey, how are you?
09:13We're just going to ask you some questions.
09:15First of all, what's your name?
09:16Jordan.
09:17How did you find the test?
09:18Yeah, it was all right.
09:19One of the questions to see
09:20was whether a little bit of friendly conversation
09:22would shift the men from being mentally focused
09:25to being biologically focused.
09:27How old are you, Nick?
09:2842.
09:29I don't look a day over 25.
09:32How would you describe yourself?
09:34I'm honest and I'm fun.
09:40Lovely meeting you, ladies.
09:41So what would five minutes of female attention do to our men?
09:49The men faced exactly the same test again.
09:52After taking an average of 65 seconds the first time,
09:55you'd expect our guinea pigs to be faster
09:58now they knew how the test worked.
10:00Purple.
10:01Red.
10:03Yellow.
10:05Purple.
10:06Green.
10:07Red.
10:08Green.
10:09But no.
10:10This time, they seemed slower and less focused,
10:13almost as if they had something else on their minds.
10:16Red.
10:17Red.
10:19Blue.
10:21So, did it make a difference?
10:23Thank you very much.
10:24Fascinatingly, they took an average of 71.4 seconds
10:29to complete the test.
10:30All right, take care, yeah?
10:31Nearly 10% slower than before.
10:36An incredible result.
10:38But I wonder if women would be affected in the same way.
10:42So, in the interests of science, we swapped the genders around.
10:46We took five ladies,
10:48three dashing young chaps posing as researchers
10:51and did the whole thing again.
10:55Remarkably, despite the efforts of our charming gents...
11:00..the results were significantly closer for our female control group.
11:05Their average time before male conversation
11:08was an impressive 63.4 seconds.
11:11And they actually got marginally quicker after chatting to the guys,
11:16getting 60.8 seconds.
11:19So, there we have it.
11:20Scientific proof that if a man spends any time at all
11:23with an attractive woman,
11:25he's programmed to only have one thing on his mind,
11:28and it isn't the colour of words.
11:39The bit on that VT that caused controversy here
11:41was when they said,
11:42they put in three attractive researchers
11:44to pretend they worked on the show.
11:46And the researchers working on this show are going,
11:48why couldn't you have just used us?
11:51What they actually said was,
11:52WHY COULDN'T YOU USE US?!
11:59So, are we buying that, then?
12:01I'm buying that. I'm completely buying that.
12:03I thought that was brilliant.
12:05I wasn't sure about the girls.
12:06I thought that maybe we'd get a bit flummoxed.
12:08Do you think you'll be able to focus this evening?
12:12I don't know if you've noticed,
12:13but I really haven't been on top of my game tonight
12:15because I don't know what to do with myself.
12:17Wow.
12:18On there it said,
12:19if you meet a hot bloke, your attention goes up.
12:21So, what you've actually said is...
12:24Caught me out there.
12:26So, men really are that stupid.
12:27But how impressive was Stephen's fact?
12:29Davina, based on what you've seen,
12:30on a scale of one to ten,
12:32what are you giving his fact?
12:33I found myself nodding and going,
12:35oh, really, that's really amazing.
12:37So, I felt that that was an eight.
12:39An eight? An eight.
12:40I'd go with an eight as well, though.
12:42I'm old school.
12:43Didn't think the girls were attractive enough.
12:44I'm going to give it a one.
12:47So, I'm joking.
12:49If you're watching the girls, you were fantastic.
12:51No, I'm going to give you a six.
12:53Thank you.
12:54So, let's add that all up and see what your total is, Stephen.
12:57Hey, guess what?
12:58You're winning.
12:59Oh, come on.
13:0022 points.
13:01Yes!
13:06So, one fact down, two to go.
13:07Join us after the break when it's Paddy's turn
13:09to try and impress us with his favourite fact.
13:11Don't go away.
13:23Welcome back to DickFacts.eco,
13:25the show that educates you on the stuff
13:27you never thought you needed to know.
13:28Still with me are Stephen Mangan, Paddy McGuinness and Davina McCall.
13:35Before the break, Stephen scored 22 points
13:37by highlighting just how simple men are
13:39when confronted by attractive women.
13:41Next up, it's Paddy.
13:42What have you got for us?
13:43Right, well, you can block a tickle.
13:46No.
13:48Hey!
13:49No.
13:50No.
13:51No, honestly.
13:52That's what happens, you see.
13:53No, because I get really violent.
13:54Well, I'm going to show you.
13:55No, don't tickle me.
13:56I'm going to show you how you can block it.
13:58We really want Davina to get really violent.
14:00Do it again.
14:01No, seriously, no.
14:02I'm going to show...
14:03No, I'm not going to show you, I'm going to explain it to you.
14:05Right.
14:06So, tickling can be nice.
14:07In Madrid, there's the world's first tickle spa.
14:10But when you say tickle spa, it's not unramping.
14:12No, it's a nice, lovely stroke and everything else.
14:15It's stroking.
14:16Yeah, I like a stroke.
14:17Exactly, because there's different types of tickles.
14:21This is like the worst speed dating I've ever seen.
14:25In Madrid, I like a stroke.
14:28Because there's different kinds of tickles.
14:29There's a nice stroke, and if you're kind of out,
14:31you feel a fly on you, and it's like a different type of tickle.
14:34When you get that tickling sensation, your brain...
14:37That's why you can't tickle yourself.
14:39You can try, you can go like that.
14:41Have a little go.
14:42Ever have a go at tickling yourself?
14:44It doesn't work.
14:45It doesn't work, and I'll tell you why.
14:47Because you cannot trick your brain.
14:50Right.
14:52How was it?
14:53It tickled.
14:54It tickled.
14:55Exactly, right.
14:56To stop that, what you have to do,
14:57and this is what doctors do if they're examining you,
14:59you put your hand on top of the doctor's hand.
15:02Wait, wait, wait, whoa.
15:03So, if the doctor's doing something,
15:05surely you must mention this first.
15:07Right, so, yeah.
15:09Now, what the doctor will do, the doctor...
15:13I've got a rather hot rectum from chillies.
15:16Would you have a look?
15:18Don't worry, I'll hold your hand as you have a look.
15:20So, the doctor, if he's examining you,
15:22say your torso, right?
15:24Now, he'll say to you, some doctors will say,
15:26put your hand on his hand.
15:27Oh, he'll tell you this?
15:28Yeah.
15:29So, when your hand's on the doctor's hand,
15:31somebody thinks you're doing the touching,
15:33even though you're not, it's the doctor's hand,
15:35and that's how you trick your brain into doing it.
15:37I tell you what, there's a lot of teenage boys watching this
15:39who'll be pleased that you can convince
15:40that your own hand is someone else's hand.
15:46If you're going to win any points,
15:47we need to see this in action, Paddy,
15:48but before we do, let's get the science behind it.
15:51Being ticklish is an involuntary response
15:53and there are two types of tickles.
15:55The first type is called nismesis
15:58and is caused by very light movement across the skin.
16:01This is the sort of tickle that wouldn't necessarily make you laugh
16:05and can induce a feeling of itchiness.
16:08The second type is called the heavy tickle,
16:10which requires repeated pressure to ticklish areas.
16:14But how can you block a tickle?
16:16The way to block a tickle is by placing your hand
16:19on the tickler's hand.
16:21By doing this, you generate the same motion as the tickler,
16:25which tricks your brain into thinking
16:27that you're the one doing the tickling.
16:29The reason this works is because you can't tickle yourself,
16:33so if you make your brain think you are the one doing the tickling,
16:36you won't feel a thing.
16:42So that's the science, but let's see it for ourselves.
16:44Now, that wasn't obviously the real experiment.
16:46This is the real experiment.
16:47We scoured the nation for the most ticklish people
16:49we could find, Paddy, so let's bring them out.
16:52Let the tickler see the tickly.
16:54I'm going to have to work on that, aren't I?
17:02Paddy, it's very simple.
17:03You need to work your way down this line
17:05and give each person a good tickle.
17:07Once you've tickled them all, you'll try it again,
17:09but that time, they'll be allowed to block you.
17:11Right, arms up, number one, and Paddy will tickle you,
17:15despite the restraining order.
17:19Oh, you had a go.
17:21Come on, mate, you're tickling yourself.
17:23What are you doing to me?
17:25It's like going back for a ninja tickle.
17:28Get back in line, sir.
17:30Do you want to show me on the doll where he touched you?
17:33Number two, put your arms up in the air, please.
17:36Right.
17:38Oh, that's...
17:39Oh, I scurred myself.
17:41I scurred myself.
17:42Number three.
17:43Hands in the air.
17:48She's low threshold on that one.
17:50Away you go, Paddy.
17:54Hang on, you actually just sank into the ground.
17:56Are you really that ticklish?
17:59I just heard a high-pitched noise then. What was that?
18:02You've literally gone five decibels higher, I think,
18:04than before you came into the studio.
18:06OK, number five, you're allowed to put your arms in the air, please.
18:10Away you go.
18:14That genuinely was a bit frightening.
18:16I think we're all a bit concerned for her.
18:18She hasn't been affected by anything you've seen on the show tonight.
18:23Right, I think we've proved that all our experiment people are ticklish.
18:26If you'd like to come back down the line, Paddy.
18:28Now, this time, tickle them in exactly the same place,
18:30but this time they're allowed to block your tickle.
18:32So put your hands...
18:33So you're going to link your fingers in between,
18:35get them right on top of Paddy's,
18:36and Paddy's going to attempt to tickle you and see if it works.
18:41Nothing at all.
18:42Here we go.
18:43Rangers in the night...
18:45I appreciate this is more intimidating.
18:48Number two, I think this was on the neck,
18:50if you want to link fingers with Paddy.
18:52Nice and tight on me hands.
18:53Yeah.
18:54Up north, this is a marriage proposal.
18:56Here we go.
19:01Number three, here we go.
19:03Link arms with Paddy.
19:04Keep them tight on me hands.
19:08I've never seen the jazz tickle before.
19:10That's fantastic.
19:11Number four.
19:12Now, this is the one.
19:13You're the most sensitive.
19:14Yeah.
19:15So if this works, this will prove everything.
19:16Wait, wait.
19:17Wait, wait.
19:19This will take me back to my honeymoon.
19:22Here it is.
19:23I'm going to go nice and tight on me hands.
19:27No, there you go.
19:28It's working, and that's number four, the most sensitive.
19:31Number five.
19:34Nice and tight, nice and tight.
19:35Here we go, for the conclusive evidence, Paddy.
19:41I think that absolutely proves it.
19:43Conclusively, that you really can block a tickle.
19:55So, we've tested Paddy's fat,
19:57but how impressed were you, Stephen and Devena?
19:59Impressed.
20:00Really impressed.
20:01Yeah, I didn't know that.
20:02And, you know, it worked,
20:03and he's assorted half the people here.
20:05Yeah.
20:06So I'm very impressed with that, yeah.
20:07I think just people are too scared to disagree with him now,
20:09aren't they?
20:10Of course they are.
20:11I'm going to give it to you!
20:13So, what are we going to score that, Devena?
20:15Eight.
20:16Eight.
20:17I feel like Len Goodman.
20:18I'm going to go for...
20:19Nine.
20:20A nine?
20:21Yeah, impressive.
20:22I'm going to give it a seven.
20:24A more conservative seven.
20:26So, let's add that all up and see where you are on the leaderboard, Paddy.
20:30You're in the lead with 24 points.
20:38Devena McCall, your time has come.
20:39Tell us your fact.
20:40So, there are certain tunes or pieces of music
20:44that are guaranteed to make babies dance.
20:48It's scientifically proven that there is a certain type of beat...
20:52All right.
20:53..that babies just have to move to.
20:55Definitely specific tunes.
20:57Yes, you know the Teletubbies?
20:58I'm not very aware of the products.
20:59And it goes...
21:00HE HUMS TELETUBBIES
21:03You know that, like that.
21:04I know, yeah.
21:05And have you...?
21:06What was it?
21:07No, yeah, well, they'd probably dance to that as well.
21:09Yeah.
21:10But if you know, like, little babies,
21:11they can just about stand or they'll lean on something and they go...
21:14The music starts and all of them, they always go...
21:19Like that, and they literally can't help themselves.
21:21It's like...
21:22HE HUMS TELETUBBIES
21:24No, they don't do that.
21:25But they, yeah, they have to bounce up and down.
21:27So, it's the beat, it's not specific songs.
21:29It's the beat, it's not about the vocal.
21:31It's not about, necessarily, the musical tune.
21:34It's about the rhythm.
21:35Steve, you've got kids, right?
21:36Two boys.
21:37Two boys.
21:38Yeah.
21:39Are they little dancers?
21:40They are.
21:41They do like a dance.
21:42But you haven't noticed any specific tunes?
21:44They do like...
21:45We Will Rock You gets them going.
21:47We Will Rock You.
21:48Oh, yes!
21:49They don't go...
21:50THEY HUM
21:51They don't go...
21:52THEY HUM
21:53They don't do that, do they?
21:54No.
21:55Hey, hey, hey, hey!
21:56Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
21:58Whoa, whoa!
21:59Hey!
22:02Amazing, amazing!
22:03It's got the start of a rally, yeah.
22:05Just think...
22:06OK, you don't want this lot thinking, so join us after the break
22:09when we'll be putting it to the test.
22:11See you in a bit.
22:12APPLAUSE
22:22Welcome back to Don't Quack, Don't Echo,
22:24the show that gives you the answers you didn't realise
22:26you were searching for.
22:27Before the break, Davina McCall told us that there are certain songs
22:30which are guaranteed to make your baby dance.
22:32So let's see some babies strutting their stuff.
22:34CLICKING
22:38From oldies doing the jive to teenagers doing the Harlem Shake,
22:42everyone has a song that makes them get up and dance.
22:45And amazingly, it's apparently true for simple little gurgling babies too.
22:51Here's a real-life doctor to explain.
22:53Rather than a melody or the sound of a voice,
22:56the most important thing to a baby is the beat.
22:58Recent research suggests that babies respond
23:01to an alternating pattern of low sounds followed by high sounds.
23:04A kick drum followed by a snare or a tambourine, for example.
23:07So even though a baby doesn't necessarily understand why it's dancing,
23:11if a song has this magical beat, then a baby is certain to dance.
23:16So it's time to go where billions of YouTube viewers have gone before.
23:21Cue the dancing babies.
23:25Here are eight of the cutest babies we could find.
23:30In order to test this hypothesis,
23:32we needed to place the babies on their parents' laps.
23:37Made the parents wear noise-cancelling headphones.
23:41And finally, we screened each baby and parent from the rest of the group.
23:47If these babies were to dance, it would be based on the music and the music alone.
23:52And to count as dancing, we're looking for sustained rhythmic kicking
23:56and hand moving or clapping in time to the music.
24:01We wanted to test out some songs that, according to the science,
24:05would not make our babies shake their tail feathers.
24:09To adults, they're all dance floor fillers.
24:12But will our babies agree?
24:14First, a number one from the Tin Tins.
24:22Well, it's not their bag either.
24:24Then, Brazilian samba classic, Musqueenada.
24:30Surely that would get them moving.
24:34Results? Nada.
24:37Finally, Stadium Rocker's Coldplay.
24:46And yes, I have a similar reaction when I hear them too.
24:51So, as the science suggests, three great songs,
24:55but no baby dancing whatsoever.
24:58But why so?
24:59These songs all have irregular syncopated beats
25:02and it would take a baby longer to learn how to dance to them.
25:05Well, that's us told.
25:07So what we needed was a song that fulfils the scientific requirements.
25:12It was time to test Dr Kennett's guaranteed baby dance floor fillers.
25:17Under the same conditions, we first played our babies
25:20ABBA's joyous ode to mothers.
25:23But would it work?
25:28Babies love their mums, and it seems they love ABBA even more.
25:33Then we played them some Katy Perry.
25:39Which clearly got our baby dancers hot and not cold.
25:44And finally, some Beyonce.
25:50Which definitely produced some booty shaking.
25:53And we mean baby booties, not Beyonce booty.
26:01So each of these songs flicked a metaphorical mirror ball
26:05in their tiny minds and got them boogieing.
26:08But what did they have the other songs didn't?
26:11What these songs all share is the alternation of a kick drum beat
26:14with something a bit more fizzy.
26:16So it's this low sound, high sound that babies clearly find irresistible.
26:19So that proves our point.
26:21There are indeed certain songs with a certain beat
26:25that are guaranteed to make your baby dance.
26:28And who knows, maybe feeding your baby this kind of musical diet from the start
26:32might just make them the dance star of the future.
26:42Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:46That's great, isn't it?
26:49No argument in that, is there?
26:51No argument, they dance.
26:53That last kid, especially with you, I want to sign him up.
26:55That's real, that happened.
26:57It works on adults as well, you know, there's songs that will fill a dance floor.
27:00I used to genuinely, I used to be a mobile DJ.
27:02Did you?
27:03Yeah. Close Encounters Roadshow, and, uh...
27:06I don't know, I thought it was my career.
27:09Close Encounters Disco Roadshow, and we used to start off with a...
27:11HE HUMS THE THEME SONG
27:13HE HUMS THE THEME SONG
27:16Well, these are the lights, that's not me juggling.
27:19And there was always the same song that would fill the floor,
27:21but the main effect was the bubble machine.
27:23Put the bubble machine off, they would all come on the floor.
27:25But I was too tight to pay for the proper stuff,
27:28and I put very liquid in.
27:30A woman slid with a tray of glasses and broke her leg.
27:33There's a lady out there with a broken leg.
27:35That was me, Close Encounters Disco Roadshow.
27:37Last Wednesday. Last Wednesday, yeah.
27:39LAUGHTER
27:41You've got to keep your finger in.
27:43No, you've got to keep your hand in.
27:44LAUGHTER
27:46That's a Freudian slip, isn't it? Oh, God.
27:48LAUGHTER
27:51So, we've tested Doreen as Fat Paddy and Steve,
27:53and it's time to give your marks out of ten, please, Steve.
27:55Well, just for seeing some babies dancing, that's nine from me.
27:58That's always going to be a good one, isn't it?
28:01Paddy? I've got to go ten.
28:02Ten? Yeah.
28:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:08Once again, I'm going for a more conservative seven.
28:11That was babies. Babies dancing.
28:14That's true. I can't stand babies, it's a six.
28:17LAUGHTER
28:19No, I'll give it a seven. OK.
28:21So, let's top those up and see where that puts you on the leaderboard.
28:24Davina, you're in the lead with 26 points.
28:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:30So, Davina is sitting at the top of the leaderboard with 26 points,
28:34but everything could change in our next round.
28:36It's time for Fact Finder.
28:41It's not just my guests who have brought in facts,
28:43we've also asked our studio audience to bring in those too.
28:46Paddy, Stephen and Davina have each sifted through
28:48countless amazing facts to find just one
28:50in the hope that it will be voted the best.
28:52Right, Stephen, you're going first.
28:54Whose fact are you putting your faith in?
28:56I've chosen Helen Lund.
28:58Do you want to stand up for us, Helen? What's your amazing fact?
29:01My amazing fact is male bats have the highest rate
29:04of homosexuality in any mammal.
29:06What?!
29:08When you say, in any mammal...
29:12That's an amazing fact. That's not right.
29:14If it's true, I mean... Everybody knows it's the dressage horse.
29:20Is that the gayest mammal? It's like...
29:25I mean, it's there for all to see.
29:28This is going to come as a shock to Batman, isn't it?
29:32It'll come more of a shock to Robbie.
29:34That's true, yeah. You know this.
29:36Have you had problems with your loads of bats?
29:38I do have bats in my loft.
29:40Is that a euphemism? Sorry, I've got bats in me loft?
29:47So you've got bats in your loft, and are you using your own evidence
29:50to suggest that they might be homosexual bats?
29:53No, in discussions with... When I had the loft surveyed, I was...
29:57Oh, a bloke who surveyed your loft gave you this information?
30:00As we all know, blokes that survey lofts,
30:02they know what they're talking about.
30:04No, what you've got here, love, is your gay bat.
30:09You've never shifted, it's your gay bat.
30:17We can't test this, cos we've only just heard it tonight,
30:20so we've employed some ridiculously intelligent boffins
30:22to help us weed out what's rubbish from what's real.
30:25So, please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
30:28and cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
30:30and chemical engineer David Wharton, otherwise known as the Verifiers.
30:38So, what do we think? Any truth in this?
30:41Well, no.
30:43Though we've been looked at, I could find no academic evidence
30:47to say that there is greater homosexuality in bats than any other.
30:50What about that one on your neck?
30:52LAUGHTER
30:55What I did find was the noctual bat, which lives in Central Europe,
31:00and a big strong male, he'll have a harem,
31:03he'll go round and he'll mate with them one by one
31:06and leave a little mark on the neck with his saliva
31:09so that he knows he doesn't go back again.
31:11Yeah, when I do this...
31:15Now, if you're a small bat and you can't get a harem,
31:19what you do is you pretend to be female
31:22and you climb in and cluster with all the female
31:25and the male goes down the line, but as soon as his back's turned,
31:28the little male is around all the other females.
31:30What a great idea.
31:31And he gets them all.
31:32Well, the big one's thinking he's done his job, the little one's there.
31:35So that's not really homosexuality, it's the clearest evidence
31:38I could find that something like that was happening in the bat's kingdom.
31:45OK, you'll score it at the end once you've heard everyone's facts.
31:47It's your turn. Who have you chosen?
31:49I've chosen Alex Earle.
31:51Alex Earle, where are you? Stand up.
31:53Hi, Alex. That's a hell of an enthusiastic wave.
31:56You all right? I'm good, thank you.
31:58Where are you from, Alex? I'm from Lewes, near Brighton.
32:00What do you do down there? I'm a student.
32:02Oh, so nothing.
32:05Kima, what's your fact?
32:06If you have a tongue piercing,
32:08it increases your chance of being struck by lightning.
32:11Can I just check if any of us have got piercings?
32:13Now. Now?
32:15You can answer me whenever you want. When you get back to me, write to me.
32:18No, no. You used to have a piercing? Yes.
32:20Where? Oh, don't we want to know?
32:22No, I had a tummy piercing. Yes.
32:24Oh, I've got ear piercings now.
32:26And have you ever been struck by lightning? I've had nipple piercing.
32:28Have you had nipple piercing? Yes. Wow.
32:30Did you ever sunbathe topless on the top of a skyscraper?
32:32Because that's dangerous if it's stormy.
32:34I don't think a tongue piercing
32:36would increase your risk of being struck by lightning.
32:38Yeah, why specifically tongue and not...?
32:40Because wouldn't it have to strike...?
32:42I found an article on the BBC website
32:44about a girl who experienced exactly that.
32:47That she was struck by lightning?
32:49Yes, through her tongue piercing, yeah.
32:51But you'd have to have your tongue now, wouldn't you, for it to hit it?
32:53Unless you're... What are you doing, blowing raspberries at clouds?
32:56I'm not scared of you.
33:00What a way to die.
33:02I'll be honest with you, I'm not really concentrating.
33:04I'm thinking about Davina's nipples piercing.
33:06I know, we learnt earlier.
33:08It's hard to concentrate now, isn't it?
33:11So, all right, well, time to go to the verifiers.
33:14What have you got for us, verifiers?
33:16Sadly, Paddy, this isn't true.
33:18Basically, the tongue piercing's got to be locked away inside your head.
33:21So, electricity or lightning always tries to follow
33:24the path of least resistance or the easiest route,
33:26and that's why it kind of zigzags on its way down.
33:29It's always searching for these routes.
33:31As it gets closer to the ground, it's got buildings, trees and people
33:34which are easier to travel through than the air.
33:36Now, metal obviously conducts electricity really well,
33:39but it's going to be stored away inside your head,
33:41so it's not really going to do much good
33:43at attracting electricity or lightning.
33:45Yeah, but, Doctor, you say it zigzags coming down
33:49to find the easiest route. Surely it's just a straight line.
33:52Ah, no, there's impurities in the air,
33:54cos it ionises the air as it comes down.
33:56I love the fact that you actually questioned him, Paddy.
33:59I mean, if you're going to have a battle of wits,
34:01I know where my money's off.
34:05OK, finally, Davina, whose facts are you pinning your hopes on?
34:08Julie Nisbet.
34:10Hi, Julie! Hi.
34:12Where are you from? Chelmsford, in Essex.
34:14And tell me, what's your fact?
34:16We make the best decisions when we need to have a wee.
34:19We make sharper... My opinion is that I think we make sharper decisions
34:23when we need to wee.
34:24And sometimes, when I'm nervous and I'm going to go and do a show,
34:27I want to wee because I'm nervous and I want to wee when I'm nervous
34:31and I think, don't go, cos it's going to give me an edge.
34:34Do you? Have you had a wee tonight?
34:36Well, I've had a wee today, but I didn't feel...
34:39When was the last time you had a wee?
34:41I didn't feel...
34:43He was tickling you earlier.
34:46I had three children, it could have been, but it was OK.
34:49I'll tell you what, forget the nipple image now, just forget it.
34:52It's been replaced, Davina, replaced.
34:58OK, so it sounds good, but... I'm with you, Julie.
35:01OK, Davina's saying it's true, so what do our verifiers think?
35:05They're absolutely right, Davina and Julie, totally true.
35:09APPLAUSE
35:14So, studies have actually shown that the more urgently that we need a wee,
35:19the more able we are to make rational and reasonable,
35:22responsible decisions with, like, a long-term gain.
35:25And that's because when we need a wee,
35:27we're more able to control our impulses
35:29and our emotional responses to the situation.
35:31And it's thought that the reason for that
35:33is because there's a part of the brain that's responsible for bladder control.
35:37When we need a wee, that part goes into overdrive
35:39to basically stop the impulses to just wee on the floor.
35:42And it's the same part of the brain that controls other impulses,
35:46like emotional responses and things like that,
35:48so you can make more rational, responsible decisions
35:51and make better decisions for your future.
35:53Wow.
35:55APPLAUSE
35:59OK, Dr Emily, if you're so clever, answer this.
36:02What is the melting point of your heart?
36:06LAUGHTER
36:08Science chefs at Lionel's work.
36:10So, we've heard our guest's favourite facts from the audience,
36:13but after the break, we'll find out how many points our verifiers will give them.
36:16Plus, we'll reveal whether Steve and Paddy or Davina
36:18will walk away victorious as tonight's Duck Quacks Don't Echo champion.
36:22APPLAUSE
36:32Welcome back. Before the break, each of our guests
36:34chose their favourite fact from the audience.
36:36Our verifiers have told us if they're true,
36:38but how many points have they awarded each fact,
36:40and who will be triumphant tonight?
36:42Let's find out. Stephen, please remind us of your chosen fact.
36:45Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.
36:49Verifiers, how are we going to score that one?
36:52Well, we were thinking about that, Stephen,
36:54and we thought, well, the man in the loft was only a little bit right,
36:57so we said four out of ten for that one.
37:00Paddy, remind us of the fact that you backed.
37:03A tongue piercing increases your chances of being struck by lightning.
37:07Verifiers.
37:08Well, we discussed this during the break,
37:10and obviously it's complete nonsense, so we were going to give Paddy zero,
37:13but my girlfriend really likes him, and she'll kill me,
37:16so I'm going to give him two.
37:18I'll give her one.
37:22Nice. That is nice.
37:26APPLAUSE
37:29You might want to ask your girlfriend to wipe the kitchen surfaces.
37:32LAUGHTER
37:34And finally, Davina, which fact did you go for?
37:36Right, the lovely Julie said that we make better decisions
37:40when we need to wee.
37:42So we've decided to give Davina ten points,
37:44on the grounds that A, it's totally true,
37:47and B, it's really helpful to know this,
37:49so that next time we go shopping, make sure we really need a wee,
37:52otherwise we'll come home with a big bag full of clothes
37:54that look really great, but we don't actually need.
37:56Fair points. Well done, Julie.
38:01So let's put all that up onto the leaderboard and see the final scores.
38:05Paddy McGuinness and Stephen Mangan, joint second,
38:07but this week's winner, with 36 points, is Davina McCall.
38:14Welcome, Davina, you're tonight's winner,
38:16which means you get to help me prove my final fact,
38:18which is lucky, because you're actually the only one
38:21in the slot that is light enough to do it,
38:23because my fact is, you can lift a person off the ground
38:26using helium balloons.
38:28So let's test it out. It's time for Max Fact.
38:35So my fact is, and remember, you're going to test it for me, Davina,
38:39you can lift a person off the ground using helium balloons,
38:42and I hope you're good with heights. Yes.
38:44Because you're going to get attached to over 1,000 of these bad boys.
38:48Blimey, that was close.
38:51Now, there's no way we're going to fit that many balloons
38:54inside the studio, so we're going to have to take this experiment outside,
38:58and you'll also need to pop on something a bit more appropriate
39:01for dangling in the air. I don't think the high heels does it. No.
39:04So whilst we do that, let's hear from Dr Foster
39:06about the science behind the power of helium.
39:09Now, you may have heard that helium is a lighter-than-air gas,
39:12but what does that mean?
39:15Well, an easy way to compare it is water and air.
39:18If you took an empty plastic bottle to the bottom of a swimming pool
39:21and let it go, it would rise to the top,
39:23because the air inside is a lot less dense,
39:26it's a lot lighter than the surrounding water.
39:29Now, the same is true of helium and air,
39:32so much so that helium can actually lift things off the ground.
39:35It's got a lifting ability of, for every one litre of helium,
39:39it can lift one gram.
39:41So this means if you can get enough helium balloons together,
39:44you can literally lift anything on Earth, which we're about to find out.
39:52Look at that. Oh, it's so pretty.
39:55Isn't it nice?
39:57You are actually going to go up with the power of those balloons alone.
40:00It's like the movie.
40:02I couldn't think of a more beautiful way to die.
40:04I mean, to go up into the air.
40:06Sorry. I'm not helping, am I?
40:08What happens if I get, like, pulled away with the wind?
40:11It's all right. We can get someone else to do it as a pick-up in a few days.
40:15Oh, you mean for your home safety? Lee!
40:17Well, I don't know. I guess...
40:19I suppose we could... I've got a pin.
40:21Stop it. Am I going to be all right? You're going to be absolutely fine.
40:24The chances of two people dying two weeks on the run, very slim.
40:27You'll be absolutely fine.
40:29Oh, my God. Don't worry about that. That'll be fine.
40:32I think, actually, we should get that sparrow out of there before we do this.
40:36Sorry.
40:38Oh, I've just ripped my trousers.
40:40I've just ripped my trousers in the process.
40:42You really have. I unmasked my trousers.
40:44All my testicles have exploded. Shall we just have a look?
40:46Look. I've ripped my trousers.
40:48He's ripped his trousers. I've ripped my trousers.
40:50I put too much helium in one of the balloons.
40:55So, er...
40:57What we're going to do is we're going to bring Health and Safety Andy in.
41:00Andy will attach these on now.
41:02Obviously, we're going to need...
41:04Oh, God, oh, God. A bit of a safety helmet.
41:07Do you want me to put this on or do you want to do that? I'll do it.
41:09You do it. That's got a little bit of a camera on the front as well.
41:12Oh, OK. So we've got a nice close-up of your face.
41:16Lee, I'm scared.
41:18It probably won't happen, but on the off chance you do drift up very high,
41:21these are quite expensive. Can you drop that back down again?
41:24Cos you don't want to lose that. We might need it for the standing.
41:27You ready? Yeah, no, I can... Here we go. Oh, my God.
41:29Do you want me to hold on to your ankle to start with?
41:31Lee, just... I'll back off. Shush!
41:33I'll back off. You're not making it any better.
41:35Just before you go, one final thing.
41:37When you land, can you give us a call and let us know how it went?
41:40Cos we're really excited. Let's go for it.
41:43Oh. Oh. Are you going? Oh. Oh, here we go. Oh.
41:47Feel free to ask me to hold your hand at any time.
41:50Oh, my God! It's great, isn't it?
41:52Oh. Hi!
41:54I just want you to know as well that this is really safe.
41:57We have tried this before and if you're out there, son,
42:00can you give your mum a ring? She's really worried.
42:05Look at that. I want to get up there now.
42:07I want to grab your ankles and fly off with you.
42:09There's going to be sparrows getting back to their nest tonight
42:12going, you are not going to believe who I saw on the way up here.
42:15So, there's your proof.
42:16You can lift a person off the ground using balloons.
42:18Hopefully we'll have worked out by next week how to get them back down again.
42:21Let me thank all my guests for tonight.
42:23It's Mr Stephen Mangan, Paddy McGuinness,
42:25and, of course, the one and only Davina McCall!
42:29That's all for this week. Join us next time.
42:36Can we bring on number three, please?
42:41What does it take to disgust you, Ollie?
42:44Where are you? There you go.
42:45Oh, no, it's not you.
42:47It's not you, number three!
42:53It's transfer deadline day and with just over two hours to go,
42:56time is ticking.
42:57Find out all the latest as it happens
42:59live from the all-new Sky Sports News HQ right now.
43:02Andy may have gotten her to skydive
43:04and jeopardise her pension in Vegas,
43:06but how will a thrill-seeking Nancy fare Morocco?
43:09Brand new 50 ways to kill your mummy,
43:12next on Sky 1 HD.