First broadcast 29th September 2014.
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Jimmy Carr
Chris Packham
Kimberley Walsh
Johnjoe McFadden
Glen Jeffery
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Jimmy Carr
Chris Packham
Kimberley Walsh
Johnjoe McFadden
Glen Jeffery
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00This is a show where we reveal some of the most incredible facts that you've never heard
00:26of.
00:27In this show, each one of our guests will unveil an astonishing and surprising fact.
00:30We'll test each fact to the limit and decide which one we think is the most amazing.
00:35So let's see who's joining me tonight.
00:37Here's an interesting fact about my first guest.
00:39As an experiment, he once had two people have sex on live TV to measure their heart rate.
00:45I don't know what the results were, but it certainly killed my granddad who was watching.
00:49And my gran who was taking part.
00:51Please welcome Richard Madeley.
00:54And an interesting fact about my second guest is that he's recently taken up kickboxing.
01:00So please welcome tonight's winner, Jason Manford.
01:05And the fact about my final guest is that she's an Essex girl who shot to fame on The
01:10Big Breakfast.
01:11Over the years, literally thousands of people have woken up with her in the morning.
01:15Just like most Essex girls, really.
01:18Please welcome Denise Van Outen.
01:21So, this is a show all about extraordinary but slightly odd facts.
01:26For example, despite popular belief, it is possible to tickle yourself.
01:32No.
01:33Anybody know how?
01:34No, it's not true.
01:35Oh, it is true.
01:36If you know that the tickle's coming, you're not ticklish.
01:38That is true.
01:39You're not supposed to know where you're going to be tickled.
01:41Well, then just get drunk.
01:42You'd have to be pretty drunk to not know who your own arms belong to.
01:47Oh, Sandra, is it?
01:51There is a part of your body that is ticklish.
01:53I've tried it.
01:54Inside your ear.
01:55Not inside your ear, no.
01:56Inside your nostril.
01:57Oh, you're close.
01:58Roof of your mouth.
01:59Oh.
02:00It is the roof of your mouth.
02:01Really?
02:02If you get your finger in there and have a little tickle on the roof of your mouth...
02:03Shall we all do it?
02:04Let's have a little tickle.
02:05Oh, yeah.
02:06I've felt that sensation before.
02:07I don't know, you don't...
02:13How about this one?
02:14You always have the upper hand.
02:16Now...
02:17Oh, in what sense?
02:18In what sense? I'll show you what sense.
02:19Richard and Denise, could you just stand up for a second?
02:21Mm-hm.
02:22Now...
02:23Could you just, uh...
02:24Could you just hold hands for a second?
02:26Yeah.
02:27Hold hands.
02:28Now, actually, everyone in the audience, stand up.
02:29Actually, if you're in a couple, man and woman, stand up
02:31and hold hands with the person you're in a relationship with.
02:33Right.
02:34Now...
02:35Yeah, I know where this is going.
02:36Without thinking, Richard has instinctively put his hand on top of Denise
02:40and Denise has gone underneath, you see.
02:42Now, if you're the male partner in the relationship
02:45and your hand is on top, can you sit down?
02:50There's literally three couples where the woman has her hands on top,
02:53which means you're the dominant one in the relationship.
02:56How does that make you feel, mate?
02:59Would you say that's a fair assessment?
03:01Are you the dominant one in the relationship? Yeah?
03:03I'll show you how dominant you are.
03:05I wasn't even talking to you, I was talking to your husband.
03:12Thank you, guys.
03:15OK, let's go on with the game. The fourth round is really easy.
03:17All the guests have brought in a fact that they really love,
03:20but whose is best?
03:21It's time for round one. Fact off.
03:29OK, Denise, you're up first. What have you got?
03:31I've got Northerners are dirtier than Southerners.
03:38I don't mean like that.
03:40Yeah, when you say dirty, what do you mean?
03:42Is that a compliment or an insult?
03:44Less hygienic.
03:46Oh, that's all right, then we just stink.
03:50So we're cleaner than those two?
03:51All right, leave it out.
03:53We take care of ourselves, but you're a little bit dirtier.
03:56OK. Well, obviously me and Jason are going to argue with this quite vigorously.
04:00I think you're right.
04:03You're on my side, yeah? You're on my side.
04:05I'm sorry.
04:06I think I've heard this as well, and I spent 20 years up north.
04:09Oh, you filthy git.
04:11I hate to say this, but is it something to do with faeces?
04:15Yes.
04:16What's wrong with our faces?
04:19And I think it's true, actually, because I've been clubbing up north.
04:22Have you been? Yeah.
04:23Did you get any seals?
04:26What does your family like clubbing up north?
04:27Most of the guys' fingers smell.
04:32Sorry, sorry.
04:33We're the dirty ones.
04:34Sorry. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
04:36You have to look at yourself when you're going to a nightclub and thinking...
04:38Come on.
04:41Bring me another.
04:43Are you... Did you actually...?
04:44No, you can tell, can't you?
04:45I'm from the north.
04:46They look a bit grubby.
04:47Do my hands look grubby?
04:48Look, let's have a look.
04:49Your hands look really grubby.
04:50They're not grubby!
04:51Your hands look quite grey.
04:53Grey?!
04:54Like, they look... They almost look a little bit...
04:56They've got a tinge of green about them as well.
04:58Green?!
04:59Like, seriously.
05:00That's a delight, isn't it?
05:01Shrek hands?
05:02They're a right bloody charm, aren't you?
05:05So, that's what Denise says.
05:08Let's take a look at the experiment.
05:15There's been a rivalry between the north and south for decades,
05:19but this must be the greatest dispute of them all.
05:22Are northerners dirtier than southerners?
05:25What did the expert think the reasons were?
05:27So there's a few theories about why people in the north
05:32might have dirtier hands than people in the south.
05:35It could be something to do with the jobs people do.
05:38It could be something to do with public transport.
05:40Maybe the things that they've touched haven't been cleaned as often.
05:43It could even be a cultural difference.
05:46So, for example, you could imagine that a guy who lives in the north
05:50might not want to be seen as being girly,
05:52so he might not want to wash his hands all the time.
05:55So, in the south...
05:57Oh, hello.
05:59..people had a lower percentage of bacteria on their hands.
06:02All right, mate.
06:03In the north, they had a higher percentage.
06:05Fair enough.
06:06But how on earth do you test something like this?
06:09One of the best ways to do it is to test for bacteria.
06:12So what we do is we take a cotton wool swab,
06:15dip it in a special solution, rub it over hands.
06:18Those go back to the lab,
06:20they're cultured over 24 hours at 44 degrees,
06:23and then we can isolate E. coli from the sample.
06:26How lovely.
06:28Well, there was only one thing for it.
06:30We needed to get down and dirty with the British public.
06:37Our team of bacteria analysts
06:39hit the road to randomly swab some people in the south
06:42and some people in the north.
06:44First, the south,
06:46starting in Brighton and travelling up to Luton.
06:50Each southerner had to undergo our clean test
06:53in our specially fitted forensic tent.
06:56As well as taking a bacteria sample of their hand,
06:59our volunteers had some interesting theories of their own
07:02for why the south might be cleaner.
07:04The weather's worse up there
07:06and they probably stay in their clothes for longer.
07:08I've known a few northerners
07:10and they don't wash for several days.
07:15I think southern people
07:17are perhaps a little more OCD about the cleanliness.
07:21I found you up north, sir. You're going to kill me!
07:25So, clearly no prejudice there.
07:28Back to the swabbing.
07:30In the north, the first stop was Preston
07:33and then on to Newcastle.
07:40The northerners underwent the same test.
07:42Do you want a bit of help?
07:44But how clean did they think they were?
07:47How clean am I?
07:49Was that an average?
07:53We were, as kids, told that if you lick your dishcloth,
07:57you build up antibodies and you don't get sick.
08:00I don't get sick.
08:04When I'm in London, I feel like I have to wash my hands loads,
08:07whereas in Newcastle, I don't feel like I get as much muck.
08:10You feel like you have to wash the muck off yourself when you're in London.
08:13After all that swabbing,
08:15it was time to send our samples off to the lab
08:18to get some results.
08:22In the Great North-South Divide, the results are in.
08:2511% of our southerners had bacteria on their hands.
08:30But will the north be any higher?
08:33Yes, actually.
08:3526% of those from the north had bacteria on their hands.
08:39So our test proved that northerners were, in fact, dirtier.
08:43But with a test as important as this,
08:45we wanted to be completely sure,
08:47so we used a bigger sample
08:49from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
08:52To ensure that we had a proper and representative sample,
08:56we went to five cities across the UK and took 400 swabs.
09:00The results really surprised us.
09:03Their results showed the further north they went,
09:06the more bacteria they found,
09:08with Newcastle topping the list.
09:10Well, there you go. You can't argue with that.
09:13I don't know, I'd question whether it was southern scientists
09:16making that particular statement.
09:18Well, you can't please everyone.
09:20APPLAUSE
09:23Southern propaganda.
09:25I reckon that northerners get ill less,
09:27because like that bloke said, if you lick a dishcloth,
09:30he wasn't the best representation of it.
09:32I mean, it's a good sort of fact,
09:34but you don't want to hear it from your doctor, do you?
09:37Have you tried licking your dishcloth?
09:39LAUGHTER
09:42I've been on the Tube in London,
09:44and after a day on the Tube, you feel a bit grimy,
09:47you blow your nose, and it is black.
09:50Like there's black in there.
09:51Why would you stay the whole day on the Tube?
09:53Just cos I love it.
09:54He's from the north, he thinks he's Alton Towers,
09:56he's going round and round and round.
09:58It's great.
09:59When's he going to go up and down?
10:02So that was Denise's fact.
10:03Now, we're going to score it, Jason and Richard,
10:05based on what you've seen.
10:06On a scale of one to ten, how amazing is that fact, Richard?
10:11It had a kind of inner logic, it sort of worked.
10:13You were up there for quite a while, weren't you?
10:15I was up there for half my adult life, yeah.
10:17Have you come back dirtier?
10:18I've probably come back less finicky, yeah.
10:20I'm less southernised, definitely.
10:22Tony is in Manchester.
10:23But Judy's from Manchester, right?
10:24She's born there, yeah, born and bred here.
10:25So does this apply to women?
10:26Are we saying that...?
10:27Judy's fragrant.
10:28LAUGHTER
10:30I love the idea of that.
10:32It's lovely, the way Judy wakes up every morning,
10:34she opens her eyes and Richard's going,
10:37LAUGHTER
10:40I'll give it six, Denise.
10:42Thank you.
10:43And Jason?
10:44Whatever you do, don't give me one.
10:46LAUGHTER
10:49Seven? I'll give it seven.
10:51Because, you know, it's against what I believe,
10:53but, I mean, facts are facts, aren't they, Lee?
10:55Well, it's true, but because I'm more true to my heritage than you,
10:58I'm giving it minus 12.
10:59LAUGHTER
11:01I shall give it... I'll give it a six.
11:03Thank you.
11:04So let's add that up and see what you've got, Denise.
11:07Denise van Outen is in the lead with 19 points.
11:09APPLAUSE
11:14So, we've had our first guest back,
11:16but there's still two more belters to come.
11:18See you after the break,
11:19when Jason Manford will be offering up his favourite fact.
11:21APPLAUSE
11:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:34Welcome back to DuckTalks.
11:35Don't echo the show that gives you the answers
11:37to the questions you didn't even ask.
11:39With me are bacterially infested northerner, Jason Manford.
11:42He said it, not me.
11:44Faeces-free southerner, Denise van Outen.
11:47And equally, the disease-free and sanitised,
11:49but he did live up north,
11:50so he can't guarantee the freshness of his fingers today.
11:53APPLAUSE
11:56I'll tell you what, I hope to God you're not just tuning in,
11:59otherwise you won't have a clue I haven't been going on about.
12:01Before the break, you saw Denise pick up 19 points
12:04for her fact that northerners are dirtier than southerners.
12:06Next up, hoping to outdo Denise's fact, is Jason.
12:09Give us your fact.
12:10People in swimsuits and swimwear are more stupid with them on.
12:17LAUGHTER
12:20LAUGHTER
12:23To be fair, when my wife caught me wearing her bikini,
12:26I felt pretty stupid.
12:28What do you mean?
12:29That when you're in a swimsuit, in your trunks or in your bikini,
12:32you are thinking about what people think about you,
12:35so you're actually using mental energy
12:37on what people are doing to judge you.
12:40So if you're doing a task in your clothes, your everyday clothes,
12:43then you'll do that task and you'll just be thinking about that task,
12:46but if you're in a swimsuit or your trunks or whatnot
12:48and you're doing that task, you won't 100% be on task,
12:50because partly you'll be thinking,
12:52oh, my belly's over-hanging or I've got some muffin tops or...
12:55What if you're a bloke or a woman with a fantastic bod?
12:57If you're a bloke or a woman, you need to work that out first, I think,
13:00before...
13:02I'm always self-conscious when I get to the swimming bath and I put me...
13:05What do you wear? Do you wear trunks or shorts?
13:07I mean, often I go naked, which is probably why I'm more self-conscious.
13:10I wear shorts, because I would definitely not wear trunks,
13:13cos that would be... I'd be proper thick.
13:16Do you wear shorts with the little net bit in the bottom?
13:18Yeah, like just a sort of... Oh, you've got to have the net bit.
13:20You've got to have the net.
13:21Oh, yeah, that's like buying loose oranges at Sainsbury's,
13:23because they're just all over the back.
13:25You need a little bit of...
13:26Otherwise they're just knocking everything over, aren't they?
13:29You get home... If you buy loose oranges and don't get them in the net,
13:31you get home, your cucumber's splitting off, isn't it?
13:33Smashing around out in the traffic, smashing around.
13:36OK, well, you've heard what this lot think.
13:38Let's find out what happens when we force people
13:40to get into their swimsuits, all in the name of science.
13:46A whole host of factors help determine our intelligence,
13:50from nature to nurture to nutrition.
13:53But swimsuits, what would an expert say to that?
13:57In today's image-obsessed society,
14:00women, and increasingly men, are defined by their bodies.
14:03Both men and women learn to internalise this objectification,
14:07and as a result of this, they worry about being judged by others,
14:13and in turn, this leads to them judging themselves.
14:15This is called self-objectification.
14:18So, even if a person is in a swimsuit on their own,
14:21they spend their mental resources thinking about being judged by others
14:25or being judged by themselves,
14:27rather than focusing on the task at hand all the time.
14:30Surely your clothing can't affect your intelligence that much, can it?
14:35Well, there's only one way to find out.
14:38To start with, we obviously needed some women.
14:42And also some men.
14:46This formidable group faced two tests wearing two very different outfits.
14:52For our first test, we needed to know how intelligent our group was,
14:56so we set them a maths test dressed in their own clothes.
15:00And, as maths tests aren't particularly glamorous,
15:03we invited a rather special lady to invigilate.
15:07Countdown's Rachel Riley,
15:09which is officially as glamorous as maths gets.
15:15Right, if you're all feeling comfortable,
15:17you can turn your papers over and begin.
15:19The time starts now.
15:23Our participants had ten minutes to answer 20 maths questions.
15:29So, wearing their own clothes, how did they fare?
15:33OK, that's time. Pens down, please.
15:37As a group, they scored an average of 65.5%.
15:43For our final test, we put every man and every woman in swimwear.
15:48But this time, we screened each of the participants from each other
15:52to ensure they couldn't see anyone else.
15:55If any objectifying was going on,
15:58this time it would only be themselves that were doing it.
16:02And as an extra measure,
16:04even our non-essential crew had to leave.
16:07As did the lovely Rachel. Sorry, Rachel.
16:11So, despite the fact that no-one else could see them,
16:14how did the swimsuits make them feel?
16:17I feel naked, cold. I feel like a pearl.
16:21A bit exposed, really.
16:23It doesn't put me in the mind to be thinking intellectually.
16:28Well, it's time to find out.
16:31Surely wearing swimwear wouldn't make them more stupid, would it?
16:37They faced a final 20 questions of equal complexity.
16:42But would their one-pieces be the one thing on their minds?
16:49After their first test in normal clothes,
16:52the group had registered an average mark of 65.5%.
16:56But with swimsuits on, they scored a miserable 33%.
17:02Just over half their original score.
17:08Proof, therefore, that swimwear really can make you more stupid.
17:12And that's the lesson learnt.
17:14If you want to perform at the top of your mental abilities,
17:17definitely don't wear your swimmers.
17:27So, we've tested Joseph's fact, but how impressed were you?
17:30Well, that was incredible. Brilliant.
17:32I would have thought there'd be a maybe 5% difference if you were right.
17:35Yeah, no, I'm surprised to see the difference.
17:3761, 66 to 33, isn't it?
17:39Twice as clever in your own clothes.
17:41And you were only able to work that out because you got your shirt on.
17:44Exactly, yeah.
17:45Richard, marks out of ten? I'd give it nine.
17:47That's a healthy nine. A healthy nine.
17:49It's out of 100, you know, don't you? No.
17:52Nine out of ten, Denise?
17:54I'd say, cos I'm very impressed with your fact,
17:57even though you've got smelly hands, I'm going to give you a...
18:00I'm going to give you a nine.
18:02You're going to give a nine? Two nines.
18:04I'm quite impressed with your fact,
18:06but I'm still only going to give it an eight.
18:08Oh, I'll take that.
18:09OK, so let's add all that up and see where it puts you on the leaderboard.
18:12Jason Manford's gone in the lead with 26 points.
18:19And that's what not means, Richard, please reveal your fact.
18:22It's impossible to walk or swim or drive in a straight line
18:25if you have a blindfold on, but we'll keep to walking.
18:28You can't do it.
18:29If you're blindfolded, you will go into a complete mess in about ten seconds.
18:33I had an eye patch once.
18:35I'm, er...
18:37Gar.
18:38Yeah. You remember when he used to be Gabrielle?
18:42She's let it go, she's let it go.
18:48And, anyway, a thing went wrong with my eye,
18:51and I had an eye patch only for a couple of weeks.
18:53And the doctor said, oh, you know, don't drive.
18:55And I was like, I've still got the other eye.
18:57And he says, yeah, well, of course, you've got no...
18:59Perspective.
19:00Perception, so you don't know how far things are away.
19:02And I thought, that is...
19:04Properly, I mean, I had about three crashes.
19:07If you blindfolded now, how far would I be able to walk?
19:09I mean, would it be, are we talking a few steps, or are we all over the place?
19:12As far as I'm aware, it's a match of yards.
19:14I tried it on the back lawn, I closed my eyes,
19:16and I thought, I'll head for the apple tree in the corner,
19:18and when I opened my eyes, I was miles away.
19:20Back lawn, showing off he's got a front lawn as well.
19:23So you tried it, and you didn't...
19:24It doesn't work, you can't walk in a straight line.
19:26It's not, it's just impossible.
19:27OK.
19:28I'm not, I was swimming though, you know, I'm not a brilliant swimmer.
19:30Quite often, I'll end up swimming out,
19:33and then just turn round, end up back to where I started three seconds earlier.
19:37Well, you've got your eyes open.
19:38No, I'm not, no, I've got my eyes open.
19:39And that's with them open.
19:41I can't do it, I don't know what...
19:42Well, you just look at the roof of the pool and just...
19:43Oh, no, this is my outdoor pool.
19:51So, you've heard what the other guests have had to say about Richard's facts.
19:54Join us after the break, as we put it to the test.
20:08Welcome back to DuckQuest.com,
20:09the TV show that goes to ridiculous lengths to prove equally ridiculous facts.
20:13Before the break, Richard told us that it's impossible
20:15for a blindfolded person to walk, swim or drive in a straight line.
20:19We've all said what we think, so now we need to put this fact to the test.
20:30Sight is one of our key human senses,
20:33and being in a blindfold isn't much good to anyone.
20:36But surely your sense of direction can't be that bad
20:39if you're just going in a straight line.
20:41Let's ask an expert.
20:43As soon as you blindfold yourself,
20:44your brain only has the internal information to rely on.
20:47So, for example, it has to rely on your sense of balance,
20:50so information that's coming from your muscles and your tendons into your brain.
20:54And that means that with each step, a little bit of random error creeps in,
20:59which is why people, when they're blindfolded,
21:01often end up walking around in circles or going in random directions
21:04rather than in the straight line that they want to go in.
21:09So we conducted three exercises to put this theory to the test.
21:14First, we needed blindfolded volunteers.
21:17Out of thousands of candidates,
21:19we chose only the best men and women who could meet our very strict criteria.
21:25We cast the net far and wide
21:27and found a group of people with one special skill,
21:30walking in a straight line.
21:35We put them through three different tests
21:37that required external directional reference.
21:40For each test, they wore our specially designed blackout goggles.
21:44Let's see how they did.
21:51For this test, our volunteers had to walk 50 metres in a straight line blindfolded.
21:56If at any point they walked out of their lines, it was an instant fail.
22:02Almost immediately, all of our volunteers wandered straight off course,
22:06with number two leaving the test area in time.
22:21Looking at their tracks, it's obvious that none of them managed to walk in a straight line.
22:26So how did they do on the next test?
22:29All our volunteers had to do was swim from one side of the pool to the other,
22:33keeping within the black lines
22:35and once again wearing special blackout goggles.
22:41Once again, it didn't take long for our volunteers to swim completely off course.
22:52So, looking at their tracks, we can see that none of them managed to walk in a straight line.
22:57Looking at their tracks, we can see that none of the volunteers managed to swim in a straight line.
23:09For the most dangerous test, our volunteers had to drive these cars in a straight line blindfolded.
23:15What could possibly go wrong?
23:20Plenty, actually, which is why we gave them a driving instructor in a dual-controlled car.
23:26Thank goodness for that, because these cars can do 0-60 in 15.8 seconds
23:32and can reach speeds of almost 100 miles an hour.
23:39Of course, for safety reasons, our testers can only go at 5 miles per hour.
23:48Cars 1 and 5 didn't cross their lines too much.
23:51However, cars 2, 3 and 4 headed directly for one another.
23:56Fortunately, our driving instructors were on hand to avert a catastrophe.
24:04Looking at their tracks, you can see none of the volunteers were able to drive in a straight line.
24:09After all three tests, it's blindingly obvious.
24:12It's impossible for a blindfolded person to walk, swim or drive in a straight line.
24:17Who knew?
24:22So, there you go.
24:25It looks pretty irrefutable.
24:27Do you feel more confident in your argument now?
24:30I was confident from the start, mate. You knew, didn't you? You knew.
24:33I thought a couple of them did pretty well, though, actually.
24:35Number three was pretty good.
24:37The one guy that kept doing this, yeah? He was good, wasn't he?
24:40I think he's ruined your argument, to be honest, number three.
24:43No, because if he'd done it for a bit longer, he really would have...
24:46You can all say that. I could have done the experiment for a bit longer.
24:49You sound like you're doubting Richard's facts still.
24:52Well, there's an easy way of finding out, Jason. Come on, follow me.
25:01Here we go, Jason.
25:03Now, just stand there.
25:05As you can see, there's a big, long white line going all the way across the floor.
25:09OK, yeah.
25:11So, put that over your eye like that.
25:13Now, if we can get the seven soldiers and the gun...
25:17Right, can you see anything at all?
25:19Yeah, no.
25:20Do you promise?
25:21Yeah, I promise, yeah.
25:23OK.
25:24Put them safe. You don't want to be losing them, do you?
25:30Right, here we go.
25:31So, see if you can walk in straight line with your blindfold.
25:33Here we go. You feeling confident?
25:38Can I do this?
25:39It's going well. It's going well. It's going well.
25:42Oh!
25:45Keep going, you're not there yet. Keep going, keep going.
25:48Right, everybody, just leave, just leave.
25:52Keep going. Keep going.
25:54Keep going.
25:55How did I do?
25:56You did very well, actually.
25:58Let's have his shoes back.
26:06There you go.
26:09You were feeling for the line with your feet.
26:11I think you're giving me too much credit there.
26:13Why did you remove your shoes?
26:15Do you want to know the actual story?
26:17I've got a bad ankle on my right one,
26:19and so I wear down my shoe on the right side,
26:21and I thought it would actually make me go like that,
26:23and actually it worked.
26:25I obviously thought for a minute then you were being so
26:27stereotypically northern, you were going,
26:29it's just that I find if I wear them when I'm walking,
26:31it wears out the sole.
26:33I'd rather just carry them, they last a lot longer.
26:36Same reason I don't wear my jumper outside,
26:38I like to keep it in a box in the attic.
26:40OK, so we've tested Richard's facts.
26:42Jason, marks out of ten, please.
26:44You're getting none off me, mate.
26:47Can I vote on his again?
26:48No, it's too late.
26:50All right, I'll give you one.
26:51Oh, thanks.
26:52No, I just...
26:53Cheers.
26:54I'll give you two because I like Judy.
26:56How about that?
26:57Hang on.
26:58And he's got kids.
26:59Keep the marks going.
27:00All right, yeah, Chloe.
27:01Three, I'll take three then.
27:02Do you like one of his kids?
27:03Yeah, I just don't want to know.
27:07Denise, marks out of ten, please.
27:09I'm going to give you a mark of six.
27:11That's generous.
27:12Six, OK.
27:13That's generous.
27:14I think you're being harsh,
27:15I actually think that was a good experiment,
27:17and I particularly thought that you were wavering
27:19towards the end of the white line.
27:20If we'd have gone a bit further...
27:21Yeah.
27:22..you'd have been off.
27:23Maybe.
27:24I'm going to give you a nine.
27:25Oh!
27:26Nine?!
27:27Yeah, you heard it right, kids.
27:29A brick in your face.
27:32So let's have that all up and see where that puts you
27:34on the leaderboard, Richard.
27:36Richard Madeley on 18 points.
27:40Jason was in the lead,
27:41but there's still plenty of time for Richard and Denise
27:43to catch up in the next round.
27:44It's time for Fact Finder.
27:50Not only do we ask our guests to bring a fact to the show,
27:53we also ask our audience.
27:54Jason, Richard and Denise have each picked out
27:56the audience fact that they think is the best one.
27:59Right, Denise, you're up first.
28:00Which audience member did you choose for their fact?
28:03I've chosen lovely Helen Parker.
28:05So, Helen, would you like... Could you stand up?
28:08Yeah, sure.
28:09So, Helen. Yes.
28:11Would you tell us your fact?
28:13If identical female twins marry identical male twins
28:19and they both have children, the children will look the same.
28:24You're talking about identical twins, not fraternal twins?
28:27Identical twins.
28:28So identical twin sisters marry identical twin brothers.
28:32So we're talking about the weird kind?
28:34What do you mean weird?
28:36Excuse me, I've got twins, mate.
28:38Have you got identical twins?
28:40Yeah, they are, yeah.
28:41I've got twins as well.
28:42Are yours identical?
28:43Yeah, but mine are like the less freaky ones.
28:45You've got the freaky kind.
28:47So you've got...
28:48We've got twins, that's interesting.
28:50You've got twins.
28:51Well, we think they're identical.
28:52We've never had the test.
28:53You think they're identical?
28:54They're identical.
28:55Because they look the same?
28:56They look exactly the same.
28:57They're identical?
28:58Yeah.
28:59Are they not at all?
29:00No, sometimes twins look identical, but actually they're not.
29:03You normally know if there's any one placenta when the baby's born.
29:06It's a funny line, isn't it?
29:08No, you ought to get a gag on placenta.
29:10And if you try, you're just trying to be the placenta of attention,
29:12so what's the problem?
29:14We have all weekend.
29:20What kind of person who's an identical twin
29:24is deciding to marry...
29:26Because the first identical twin has got married to the woman
29:29and he's...
29:30I like the look of your one.
29:31Has she got one for me?
29:33I think there's too many variables when making a child.
29:37You don't know which sperm is going to get there, you know what I mean?
29:40I just think there's too much going on, so how can that...
29:43Because the genetic material...
29:45But not all the sperms are identical.
29:46No, they're not, but the genetic material in your sperm...
29:48I don't want to know about your sperm.
29:52So that's Denise's chosen fact.
29:54Now, because we haven't heard these facts before,
29:55we haven't had time to test them out.
29:57Instead, we have a panel of super-smart boffins
29:59to tell us if there's any substance to the facts.
30:02So, please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
30:05expert in cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
30:07and chemical engineer David Walton.
30:09Otherwise known as the Verifier.
30:14Nice to see you all again.
30:15You're looking very nice tonight, Emily.
30:17Thank you.
30:18Tell me, when you are looking for a person of the opposite sex,
30:20is brains important to you?
30:22Yes.
30:23Oh, well, I won't waste my time.
30:24Right, let's go.
30:25So, is there any truth in what Helen is saying?
30:28Well, the thing is, it does sound like a really sensible thing to assume,
30:31because, obviously, identical twins look identical,
30:34and, as you say, they contain identical genes.
30:37But the fact is, it's totally untrue.
30:40They would not be identical.
30:42And the reason is this,
30:43it's because every woman's egg contains a random combination
30:46of half of her genes.
30:48And there's so many different ways of combining just half of her genes
30:52that every single egg cell would be different.
30:54And it's exactly the same for the man,
30:56so every man's sperm is also different.
30:58So, when the egg and sperm come together and make a baby,
31:01there's, like, an infinite combination
31:03of different children that you could make,
31:05which is why your brothers and sisters look similar,
31:07but they're never going to be identical.
31:09So, if you have hundreds or even millions of children
31:11with the same partner, you'd never get the same child twice.
31:14So, you were right.
31:15I'll be honest with you, I thought it was going to be a correct fact.
31:18We all did, actually.
31:19It was only those three stuck-up people.
31:21We were all on your side.
31:23OK, your turn, Jason. Which audience member did you pick?
31:26Oh, I picked Tony Amder.
31:29That's me.
31:31Oh, so you stood up.
31:33That would have been odd if you'd have gone...
31:35No, that's not me, that.
31:38No, no, I'm Brian Smith. No, you weren't Tony Amder.
31:41What do you do, Tony?
31:42Oh, I've got a garage, MOT station, near Romford.
31:45Romford?
31:46Yeah.
31:47OK.
31:48MOT!
31:54You work in a garage, so tell us your facts,
31:56even if it's just an estimate.
32:00Right, the fact is...
32:02Oh, the fact is, your big end's gone, and...
32:05I mean, we can't get anything until Tuesday, and...
32:10The fact is, most toilets flush in the note of E-flat.
32:16No, that's not true. That can't be true.
32:18Surely all toilets are different sizes?
32:20No, they're not different sizes, are they?
32:22If you sit on a big toilet, you'll fall in.
32:24No, no, no, no. I'm not having that.
32:27Well, no, you're a borrower. You can't fall in.
32:31You need to stop crapping in the bath.
32:34God, my wife says that to me all the time.
32:37He says they're all different sizes, but they're not.
32:39It's a standard seat, isn't it? It's a standard width.
32:41No, you do get different sized toilet seats.
32:44Maybe the porcelain bit is a standard size,
32:47and then the seats have different widths.
32:50I suppose that's what's making the noise, isn't it?
32:52The porcelain bit and the flush.
32:54And you've got the U-bend underneath, which is the same size.
32:56It's a standard fitting, isn't it?
32:58And if you think of a toilet seat...
32:59He did say most toilets, to be fair.
33:01Where did you hear it, Tony?
33:02It's quite weird, actually. I've got a friend that's got a band.
33:05The lead guitarist, his tuner had broken, and it wouldn't work,
33:09and so he happened to know that if you flushed a toilet...
33:12Oh, get stuffed! Are you telling me?
33:15He went...
33:16Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
33:18Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
33:20There were six cubicles, he flushed them all
33:22and found the one that he felt was right, and that was it.
33:24He tuned it into that, and that is a fact.
33:26So he's got six cubicles,
33:28and he knows which ones he flat by the sound,
33:30and then tunes his guitar to the toilet.
33:32If he knows what he flat is,
33:34he doesn't need to go to the toilet.
33:37He can just go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
33:42OK, well, shall we ask the verifiers?
33:44They know everything. Verifiers, please tell me this is true.
33:47We want this to be so true.
33:49Whilst it might be true for Tony's toilet,
33:51it's not true for most or all toilets,
33:53because they all come in different makes and models,
33:55and therefore different shapes and sizes,
33:57and just like a musical instrument,
33:59you've got to get different shapes and sizes,
34:01and that's got to give you different notes.
34:03The same is going to be true of a toilet.
34:05So it's not true? Sadly not.
34:07But more exciting, if you think about it,
34:09is that if you had loads of toilets, all with different notes...
34:12Yeah, barbershop quartet in the bathroom.
34:15Ah, ah, ah...
34:18I did, actually, before the show, I had A major crap.
34:21Was that OK?
34:26It's OK. It's your turn, Richard.
34:28Oh, right, I'm back to be chosen.
34:30This is Yolanda Barker. Yolanda Barker.
34:32Hello, Yolanda. Hiya.
34:34Like the name Yolanda. Thank you.
34:36Where's that from? A book.
34:38A book? I meant which country.
34:42It was a book. What was it called? The Children's Book of Names.
34:47Yolanda, tell us your fact.
34:49If you have wetter earwax,
34:51then you're more likely to have stronger body odour.
34:55Yolanda, what kind of earwax do you have?
34:57I think mine's a bit wetter than...
34:59So you're a little bit smelly? Yeah.
35:02I have investigated a little bit.
35:04You do know this is on national television, don't you?
35:06It's OK. I did go round and sort of try a few different people
35:09to have a look in their ears and see what kind of earwax it was.
35:12Is this your husband? Yeah.
35:14How would you describe his earwax?
35:16Soaking.
35:18Just pouring out.
35:20In between, yeah. His is a bit more wetter, yeah.
35:23OK, well, verifiers, please tell us if there's any truth in this.
35:27Well, your body secretes sweat under the arms,
35:32pushes it out there and that attracts bacteria
35:35and actually it's the bacteria that smell.
35:37Now, most British people have the gene
35:40to actually transplant the sweat out of the arms.
35:43And here's the interesting thing,
35:45that that's the same gene that makes your earwax wet.
35:492% of the population... You've counted? ..don't have that gene.
35:53OK. So they don't actually produce that sweat under the arms
35:58and because they don't have that gene, also their earwax is dry.
36:03So test your earwax. If it rolls, it's wet
36:07and if it's sort of flaky and probably a bit darker, then it's dry
36:12and you might not need your deodorant.
36:14Wow. Do you know what? You lot know everything. I'm really impressed.
36:18What I want to know is why do I cry when I watch Big Mama's House?
36:24Why do we have earwax? What's the point of earwax?
36:27It's to stop bacteria getting into the ear.
36:30And is that the point of snot as well? Yes, much the same.
36:33Snot's to stop things getting in? Yeah.
36:35Well, there's other orifices in our body. Why isn't that full of wax?
36:38I mean, why don't we have bumwax?
36:40I mean, that's a valid question, isn't it?
36:42If you've got earwax and snot, why haven't we got bumwax?
36:45Well, you've never had a bumwax. No, not a bumwax.
36:51So we've heard whether the facts are true,
36:53but what points will our verifiers give them?
36:55Find out after the break.
37:01APPLAUSE
37:08So, before the break, each of our guests
37:10chose their favourite fact from the audience.
37:12We've found out whether each fact is true,
37:14but who will get the most points from our verifiers
37:16and who will win tonight's show?
37:18Let's find out. Jason, remind us of your fact.
37:21Toilets flush in the key of E-flat.
37:26Verifiers?
37:28Tony, since this is completely untrue...
37:30That's not a great start for a fact, is it?
37:32No. We've got to give him one.
37:34You're going to give him one measly point?
37:36Thank you, Tony!
37:39OK, Richard, remind us of your fact.
37:41The wetter your earwax, the more body odour you have.
37:44Verifiers, what are we giving them?
37:46Well, we thought that's true. Yeah.
37:48It's verifiable, it's accurate,
37:50so we thought a good nine points for that one.
37:52Nine points, Richard. Good, good.
37:54APPLAUSE
37:56Verifiers, what was your audience fact?
37:58If a twin female marries a twin male and they both have a child,
38:02both children will look the same.
38:04OK, verifiers?
38:06Well, that's actually not true,
38:08but we thought because they would be siblings
38:10and so they might end up looking really, really like each other
38:13just by chance, as some siblings sometimes do,
38:16then it's not entirely nonsense, so we gave three points.
38:19Three points.
38:22So let's put all that up onto the leaderboard
38:24and see how it's affected the final score.
38:28Denise van Outen with 22 points, but it's a draw this week.
38:30Jason Manford and Richard Madeley both have 27 points.
38:33APPLAUSE
38:35We're in new territory here.
38:37It's not happened on this show before, a draw,
38:39and the winner of the show gets to take part in my Mac fact at the end.
38:42So Richard wins. No, I'm sure he'd be great at it.
38:45Well, I think I'm going to go with...
38:48I think I'll go with Richard.
38:50Thank you.
38:52Here's my fact.
38:53You can stretch a swimming cap so far that an adult can fit inside it.
38:58You want me to step inside a swimming cap?
39:01A swimming cap.
39:02The choice is yours. I say choice, you have to do it.
39:05Yes, your prize is the chance to prove my fact in Mac's fact.
39:09Are you intrigued? I couldn't be more intrigued.
39:11Take a walk over to the experiment area with me
39:13and I will show you more.
39:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:26Yes, here we have a huge tank of water
39:29and inside, helping us out with the test,
39:31are the ladies of the Seymour Synchro Swim School.
39:34Now, Richard, if you're going to help us prove this fact,
39:37we're going to need you to go backstage and get changed.
39:40And whilst Richard is doing that, David Wharton,
39:42tell us how this fact is possible.
39:44Well, latex is a polymer.
39:46That means all the molecules of latex are long rows
39:50and they get tangled up,
39:52but all the molecules can pull out, they can spread out,
39:56they're still held together by forces,
39:59but they can slide over each other
40:01and so our bundle of natural latex,
40:04which you've got in your swimming hat,
40:06spreads out to cover this large, large area
40:09and the water applies that force generally
40:12across the whole swimming hat
40:14and so we can make our swimming hat get so large.
40:19OK, thank you, David.
40:21Please welcome back Richard Madeley.
40:26Well, look at that!
40:28Look at that!
40:32You look fantastic. You look absolutely amazing.
40:35So, first of all, let's get you in that swimming pool.
40:38Let's get you right in there with the ladies. In you go.
40:41Right, so, here we go. Richard's going to go in.
40:43Is it cold, ladies?
40:46You're f***ing right!
40:55This is why Richard Madeley's not allowed in council swimming pools.
41:00Right, the first thing, this is the cap we're going to use,
41:03but here we go, here's another little experiment we found out.
41:05Watch this. Good way to put your cap on.
41:07Let's fill that cap up.
41:09OK, come and stand a bit closer to me.
41:11Right, if you just stand there,
41:13can you just face towards the cameras?
41:15Yeah, here we go.
41:20Yes. What about that?
41:23Right.
41:25OK, ladies, there's the cap.
41:28If you could start stretching that out.
41:32Looks like you're drowning a puppy.
41:36This looks like a sex education class has gone really wrong.
41:41Right, we're getting close now, we're getting very close.
41:44Now, get ready, get ready.
41:46Right, here we go, Richard, get inside the cap
41:48and get your feet in as well.
41:54He's in! He's in, Richard Madeley's in there!
42:03Richard Madeley in a swimming cap.
42:06It's really happening.
42:08So, there you have it.
42:10You can fit a fully grown adult into a swimming cap,
42:12so that's just about all we have time for.
42:14A big thanks to my guest, Denise Van Outen,
42:16Jason Lampert and, of course, Richard Madeley.
42:20I'll see you all next time. Goodnight!
42:28Solid again.
42:32Touch me.
42:34Look, if I do that...
42:38Look, if I do that...
43:08APPLAUSE