Mums.on.Strike.S02E02
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00:00In these enlightened times, we might like to think housework is a shared endeavour.
00:08You could literally eat dinner off these toilet seats. I mean, literally.
00:12But in Britain, on average, one member of each household does two-thirds of the chores.
00:20That's it. Literally, I do everything.
00:23What time have you got to be back, Sean? No major rush.
00:27He doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he doesn't hoover, he doesn't make the bed.
00:30Oh, for God's sake, are they taking the mick?
00:33I'm not going to do it anymore.
00:38Those carrying the heaviest load...
00:40Right, that's it. I'm off.
00:43..have had enough.
00:45Who said that she's on strike? Who's on strike?
00:48Oh, gosh. I actually can't believe you're doing this.
00:50Am I? Oh, my God.
00:53..will get to see how those left behind...
00:57I don't really know where to begin. ..cope...
01:05I'm out of stock.
01:07There's no food. I thought you were just cooking.
01:09Why don't you understand? There's nothing.
01:11..and finally negotiate a deal to come home.
01:14I wanted you to stand in my shoes, but you didn't do that.
01:18I will try anything if it means that you come home.
01:23BELL RINGS
01:28In Hastings, East Sussex...
01:30We are the Scott family.
01:32..the Scott family consists of Mum Carla...
01:35Can you let go of Mummy so I can go and put this washing on?
01:37..fiancée and dad Carl...
01:39Hi, guys. Hello.
01:41..ten-year-old Alfie, eight-year-old Tyler and three-year-old Madison.
01:47How's that? Again?
01:50And Tyler has something he wants to get off his chest about Mum and Dad.
01:55They always argue.
01:57Is it about anything particular?
01:59Cleaning.
02:01What do you like about cleaning?
02:03The divide in the house is Carla does quite a lot of the roles within the house.
02:07Do you think you realise how much?
02:09Yeah, I do realise how much.
02:11I don't think you do.
02:13This has been here for two days now.
02:15He must have just been completely oblivious to it.
02:17When I think about how much I do in the house
02:19compared to how much he does in the house,
02:21it doesn't make me feel annoyed.
02:23It's not an excuse. I can't put my finger on exactly why,
02:26but I'm a bit bow-and-idle, I suppose.
02:28Daily, the toilet on multiple times needs cleaning.
02:31No-one will ever take this off when it's been finished with.
02:34The toilet, I don't like the toilet. It stinks.
02:36Sometimes I come in here after Carl's been in there,
02:38and there's bumhole hairs on that toilet seat.
02:40Clean all of the bathroom down, all the bath needs doing,
02:42the tiles need doing, the sink needs doing.
02:44Admittedly, I don't do none of them jobs.
02:46Downstairs, you've got all of the table
02:48that has to be done multiple times a day.
02:50Carla will end up doing that.
02:52But then every time one of the kids sits at the table,
02:54whether it's toast or biscuits, things will get dropped on the floor.
02:57So I'll quickly bang the hoover out over it.
02:59The washing... I don't touch the washing.
03:02It's just like a long, never-ending job.
03:04I hate it.
03:06If Carl gets, like, a spare five minutes,
03:08which he seems to get a hell of a lot,
03:10he'll sit down and he'll go on his phone.
03:12So when I'm going round the house and I'm doing loads of different stuff
03:15and I make the house into, like, a dream home
03:17that I've always wanted to live in,
03:19it really frustrates me if he's just sitting around doing nothing.
03:22Nah, I'm not going to lie. I'll tell the truth.
03:25Once I'm on my phone, everything else around me I shut off.
03:28If I peek through the door to see what he's doing
03:30and he's sat on that phone, I feel like a pot that's about to boil over.
03:33If I'm sitting on the sofa scrolling
03:35and she's pottering around in the living room
03:37or making dinner, cleaning the sides or running around with the mop,
03:40I'll be truthful, it's because I'm probably so used to it.
03:43What's Daddy doing? Sitting on me is fine.
03:45It can often become an argument as opposed to him just identifying,
03:48right, she's a little bit stressed, let me go out and see what I can do
03:51and then us having a really nice happy dinner.
03:54Obviously that will end up a massive argument.
03:56We'll both sit there at the dinner table, not talking to each other
03:59and I'll think in my head I want him to choke on his food.
04:06While Carl doesn't do much to keep the house immaculate,
04:09there are two things he never fails to maintain
04:12to a pristine standard.
04:14His trainers...
04:16He will make sure that these are always in perfect condition.
04:19..and his barnet.
04:21Baby, I'm going to go for my haircut.
04:23What time will you be back? About an hour.
04:25I do like to be well presented and I do always like to look my best,
04:28so I do have my weekly haircut.
04:31And while Carl makes himself pretty...
04:33As you can see, the bin is absolutely filled to the brim.
04:37There wasn't really any reason why he couldn't take it.
04:40So I may as well just do it myself.
04:44I don't really feel like I get any free time whatsoever.
04:47I don't want to leave it like that because if the seagulls get it...
04:50There's always stuff that needs doing,
04:52so if I ever get a spare five minutes...
04:54That's it. ..I find something to do.
04:56There's no reason why I could never have nice nails or anything
04:59because where I'm cleaning all the time, it constantly takes it all off.
05:02Pointless even doing anything nice for myself.
05:05But now Carla has found herself at a crossroads.
05:09Hi, guys!
05:11If things don't change, and he continues with how things are at the moment...
05:16Hi. Hello.
05:18What's the matter? I'm a mess.
05:20I don't really know what our future holds.
05:22This is at the point where I'll start itching my head.
05:25What, cos you can't bed the toys on the floor? Yeah.
05:28Obviously, I love him to bits.
05:30I just feel like there's so much stress
05:32surrounding all of these problems at home.
05:35OK, this one's Olivia.
05:38And, yeah, I'm at a point in my life now where I've kind of had enough.
05:42Have you had enough playing? Yeah.
05:46A three-hour drive away,
05:48another mother is unhappy with the division of labour in the home.
05:52Sarah lives with husband Kwaku,
05:55sons Jason and Jeremiah,
05:57daughter Janaye, ten-month-old Judah
06:00and Gray, the kitten.
06:02Who does the most housework out of your mum and dad?
06:06Sometimes, like, dad will sweep up if there's, like...
06:09If he comes home and it's a bit messy, he'll sweep up.
06:12Yeah. Yeah.
06:14Let's sleep.
06:16I met Kwaku at the barber shop.
06:18He caught my eye straight away.
06:20And as soon as I saw him, I said, this is going to be my husband.
06:23I said, oh, all right, this lady is pretty, I like her.
06:26Let me see if her character matches her beauty.
06:29Luckily, it matches perfectly.
06:32So I'm happy.
06:35The couple have been happily married for eight years.
06:38But recently, Sarah has grown tired of domestic life.
06:43All right, bye.
06:45Because Kwaku goes to work quite early,
06:47before the children wake up for school,
06:49I do the majority of the work,
06:51so I'll get the children ready for school.
06:53Mum, what time is it?
06:55Seven. Seven, Jason.
06:57Give them their breakfast.
06:59Two Cocoa Pops and chocolate and marshmallow cereal.
07:03Give Judah his morning feed before the school run.
07:05Is that yummy?
07:07Making sure the kids have their school bags packed,
07:09take them to school.
07:11Now we're late, just a little bit.
07:13Come back, do the chores,
07:15the washing, laundry, mopping.
07:18Give Judah his porridge.
07:20Good boy.
07:22A lot of people might look at me and say, oh, my God, super mum.
07:25But I'm struggling, it's so hard.
07:29I'll just make his breakfast, he'll be home soon.
07:31A quick omelette with some sausages and baked beans.
07:37Kwaku is a health care assistant.
07:39He works a split shift each day
07:41and has a four-hour break in between.
07:44Sausages, do you want me to fry them?
07:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:48Oh, in a hole? Oh, OK.
07:50Cut them, please. I go to work, finish work.
07:53I'm tired, I want to relax, because my work takes a lot.
07:56So once breakfast is out of the way,
07:58there's only two things left on Kwaku's to-do list.
08:01I'm going to just watch TV for a bit,
08:03for the food to go down, digest a bit,
08:05and then go and have a nap.
08:07I'm literally on the go from morning to night.
08:10I don't get to sit down and relax and watch TV
08:12or come and lie down and have a nap.
08:14I wish I could, but then if I do, then I won't get anything done.
08:17Come down with me, that's it.
08:22There he is, you see? Sitting there watching his TV.
08:24Typical.
08:26You see, he gets that gap in between.
08:28Even just to help with a few of the chores,
08:30like the laundry, it's forever piling up,
08:32and I'm always left to do everyone's laundry,
08:34and then also, like, with the cooking,
08:36it will make a difference, it will help.
08:39But Ghanaian-born Kwaku
08:41believes his work exists outside of the household.
08:45I was brought up that the man is a breadwinner.
08:49He struggles, suffers,
08:51does everything to bring something home to the table.
08:54And then the woman is a...
08:57The woman is a...
09:01I would say man's partner.
09:05Me being busy going out, she is helping me to tidy up.
09:08Kwaku has never, ever changed this calendar.
09:12Not even once.
09:14My wife is not my maid, she is my wife.
09:16That's why they came up with the word housewife.
09:20So, another chore I've added to my list,
09:23by getting a cat.
09:25But, honestly, I don't regret it.
09:28He's adorable.
09:30But for Sarah, this isn't the life she'd always imagined.
09:35Like, I feel like, I know it's a bit hard to say,
09:38sometimes I feel like, you know, I've failed in life,
09:41because, like, I'm not achieving my goals,
09:45I'm not where I want to be.
09:47Sarah has a law degree,
09:49but gave up her role as a paralegal
09:51when her second child was born.
09:53OK, guys, I hope you're all doing well.
09:56Today, she's a make-up artist and a budding influencer.
09:59These are so gorgeous.
10:02Gorgeous, gorgeous lashes.
10:04But due to the sheer volume of chores,
10:06Sarah's struggling to find the time to commit to it.
10:10It's really easy to compare yourself to other influencers.
10:14Other people on social media who are, you know,
10:16might be doing well, excelling,
10:18and, you know, getting their content out on time.
10:23I'm 33 now.
10:25I thought by now I would have lived my dreams,
10:30you know, made it in my career, but...
10:39It's when I feel like, you know, like I said,
10:41It's when I feel like, you know, like I said,
10:43I'm just not where I want to be in life.
10:45I find myself, you know, doing the same routine
10:47and living my life for everyone every day, but...
10:50I know I could do so much,
10:52and I could be so far right now,
10:54but it's just all a setback,
10:57a temporary setback, let me just say that.
10:59If the chores were split between us,
11:01it would take a lot of burden off me.
11:03I'd be able to get some more work done.
11:05It would really, really, really help a lot.
11:07And then I could become that big influencer,
11:10this big influencer that I want to be.
11:12After ten years, Sarah feels like she has to step away.
11:17She's still laughing.
11:22Back in Hastings...
11:24Love you, bye. Love you. See you in a bit.
11:26Bye. Bye.
11:27..Carla is taking decisive action.
11:30She's going on strike without telling any of her family.
11:34I'm at a place now where I've completely reached my limit,
11:37and I'm sick to death of being the one that does all of the housework.
11:40I feel like I'm the one that takes more responsibility
11:42when it comes to the kids, and I have had enough.
11:44So I feel like now is the time that I need to really make a stand,
11:48I need to go on strike, I need to leave him to get on with it,
11:52and he'll hopefully realise all the different jobs that do exist
11:55in a normal running home without me being there to do them.
11:59And should Carl rise to the challenge, he may win the ultimate prize.
12:03Carl has always, always wanted to get married,
12:06and I've been putting it off for the last 10 years.
12:09Potentially, if he pulls his weight, does more with the kids,
12:13does more around the house, potentially I might agree to get married.
12:20In Bedfordshire, Sarah is also taking drastic action.
12:25I'm leaving because I've simply had enough.
12:29So much is just on me.
12:31I'm not getting the support around the house that I need.
12:34I'm really, really struggling.
12:36So I just want my husband to just put himself in my shoes.
12:41I've never had to leave the kids with him, even for a day.
12:44If this doesn't shake him up, I don't know what will.
12:49Mum's gone on strike, I've got to maintain the house.
12:53I can't believe he actually said that.
12:55Do I need to even be there? Why am I even living there?
12:57What am I there for?
13:05Carl and Carla run a business supporting young people in the community.
13:14While Carl is the face of the operation,
13:16Carla works the logistics from home
13:18and will usually have begun preparing dinner by the time he gets home from work.
13:28But Carla isn't upstairs.
13:30Oh, wow.
13:31She's checking into a luxury apartment.
13:36Oh, yes.
13:38Is that alcohol?
13:40Instead of slaving over a hot stove...
13:42I've even got dressing gown and slippers.
13:45...the only thing on her to-do list is relax.
13:53Meanwhile, back at the family home,
13:56Carl has received a message.
13:58Carl has received a message from Carla.
14:02Hi, babe.
14:03I'm leaving you this message to let you know that I am going on strike.
14:07I just feel like I do so much around this house and I do it all on my own.
14:11The only way that you're ever going to really realise what it is that I do
14:14is by just completely leaving and letting you get on with it.
14:17So, you're going to have to manage the house all on your own.
14:21And make sure you feed and water the kids.
14:25And my advice to you is keep on top of the housework
14:27because it builds up very, very fast.
14:30And stay off of that phone.
14:33Wow.
14:36I don't know what to say.
14:39This is an extreme situation to go that far,
14:43to be leaving the house for me to be picking up, basically,
14:46the chores that you've been doing since we've been together.
14:50Where to start?
14:51What am I supposed to do now?
14:53Usually, by now, food would be on.
14:55Usually, so...
14:59I'm just literally, like, deflated.
15:01Like, fuck.
15:05Right.
15:07Let me go and deal with this then.
15:11I'm sweating it out.
15:12Literally.
15:14Right, I need you to come in there a minute.
15:16Dad?
15:17Yeah?
15:18I'm hungry.
15:19You're hungry?
15:20OK, I've just got to have a conversation with you.
15:24So, you know how Mum does all the chores
15:28and how I don't really do that much?
15:32Yeah.
15:33Mum's gone on strike,
15:35so I've basically got to maintain the house.
15:40I haven't got a clue.
15:43What do you think about it, Madison?
15:46Lovely.
15:47You think it's lovely?
15:48Karl has the backing of one member of the household
15:51and he's hoping to win over the other two
15:53with some culinary creativity.
15:55Seeing as Mum ain't here, we're going to have a pizza hut.
15:59How about that?
16:00Do you mean cheesy triangles?
16:02Yeah.
16:03Yay, pizza hut!
16:05Wicked.
16:06With takeout pizza en route,
16:08Karl finds another way to outsource the workload.
16:11I tell you what, do you want to help me lay the table?
16:13Yeah.
16:14Right, do this one then.
16:15Put this one where I sit.
16:18Good girl.
16:19Well, Madison, you're doing it again.
16:21You're not Madison.
16:22I am.
16:23I'm just having the child help with the chores.
16:28Perfect.
16:31Thank you.
16:32Is that everything, yo?
16:33That's it, mate, yeah.
16:34All right, nice.
16:35All right, take care, yo.
16:36Ooh, here we go.
16:38I'm so excited.
16:41So, we've got...
16:43Ooh.
16:44Cheesy triangles.
16:47Some people might think that this was a lazy option,
16:50but they've all got what they want.
16:51You're happy?
16:52Yeah, all gone well.
16:54Daddy?
16:56You asked me to take Karl.
16:58See the noise?
16:59You know the noise like the daddy?
17:00I'm used to hearing mummy, not daddy.
17:06Over in Bedfordshire,
17:07Kwaku has returned home to find an absent wife,
17:11missing baby,
17:12and a video message in his inbox.
17:16Hi, Odile.
17:17I'm struggling.
17:18I've reached breaking point.
17:20I feel like the chores, Kwaku, are all on me,
17:22trying to achieve my career.
17:24It's just impossible right now for me.
17:26I'm so depressed and stressed.
17:28So, I'm going on strike.
17:30What does she mean by she's going on strike?
17:32For one week.
17:34Oh, gosh.
17:35And I'm hoping that you'll see how it is to walk in my shoes
17:39and help in the house a lot more.
17:41Oh, Jesus Christ.
17:45With the remaining three kids back from school,
17:48Kwaku breaks the news.
17:50I've got to tell you guys something.
17:52Mummy's gone away for a week.
17:53I'm not going to see mum for one week.
17:55So, I need to clean, I need to bathe you,
17:57I need to brush your teeth,
17:59I need to get you dressed for school,
18:01I need to cook for you,
18:03I need to do everything all by myself now.
18:08Jerry, you say you want...
18:10No, no, no, I'm going to make proper dinner.
18:12While Kwaku familiarises himself with the kitchen...
18:15No way!
18:17I've got another TV!
18:19Two TVs!
18:21Sarah is getting acquainted with the new home
18:23she'll be sharing with baby Judah.
18:25Wow, I love it.
18:27Do you like it?
18:29This is your home for the week.
18:32I don't want onions.
18:34I don't want onions.
18:37For Jeremiah,
18:39Kwaku's Italian cuisine is not turning out the way
18:42his amama makes it.
18:44Dad?
18:45Yeah?
18:46You made it too sticky.
18:48I can't even pick it up.
18:52You hungry?
18:53Dad?
18:54You hungry?
18:55Kwaku's first dinner may not have been a rip-roaring success,
18:58Dad?
18:59but at least one member of the household is satisfied.
19:02Isn't it great?
19:05After a night away from their families,
19:08the two strikers are getting together.
19:11I'm really excited to meet the other striker.
19:13I want to know how they're feeling,
19:15whether they're feeling the same feelings as what I am.
19:18Hello. Nice to meet you.
19:21Nice to meet you too.
19:22I'm Sarah.
19:23I'm Carla.
19:24Do you know what?
19:25I actually really hope that he's at home struggling.
19:27Me too.
19:28I can't wait to...
19:29I was saying the same thing.
19:30I hope that he's actually struggling.
19:31I want him to be overwhelmed, I want him to be stressed.
19:33Stressed?
19:34Everything.
19:35For me personally,
19:36I feel like I've kind of caused a bit of a rod for my own back.
19:39I used to kind of take on that role.
19:41I'm a mum.
19:42It's exactly the same as me.
19:43I'm glad you said that.
19:44100%.
19:45He's got used to it.
19:46It's become a routine habit.
19:47Expectations.
19:48Before you know, years have gone by.
19:49You've had more children.
19:50You've got multiple kids.
19:51It's all piling up on you.
19:52The husband's just like,
19:53OK, I'm going to work, see you later.
19:55In a way, I do blame myself as well.
19:57In the beginning, if I had made it more hands-on from the start,
20:00maybe he would have continued with it.
20:02It's so much harder changing it down the line once it is expected.
20:05Exactly, yeah.
20:13Back in Hastings, it's the morning after the pizza before.
20:17If I would have done this dishwasher last night,
20:20there probably wouldn't be no extra added pots
20:23that's going to be going in there.
20:25Yeah, I'm coming, darling.
20:27And Karl is already noticing Carla's absence.
20:31I'm knackered.
20:32I am actually literally knackered.
20:35Here you go.
20:37As it's usually Carla's role to orchestrate the morning routine,
20:41Karl is in uncharted waters.
20:45Lunch-wise, lunch-wise, lunch-wise.
20:49This is a trick of trade.
20:52Carla, where's your lunchbox?
20:56What?
21:01You've got to be kidding me.
21:03Those are my bowls.
21:05Look at that.
21:07Did I get you a tissue?
21:09No, baby wipes, I reckon.
21:16Let's put this into the lunchbox.
21:18Yeah.
21:19She's actually so helpful.
21:21I might get her to do the hoovering for me as well.
21:258.35, first school run, done.
21:30Over in Bedfordshire,
21:31Kwaku is also buoyed by a successful school run
21:35and wastes no time getting down to the cleaning.
21:40He even finds a moment to check in with his favourite TV programme.
21:46So, the being super clean, where did that come from?
21:50It's in the genes, I got it from my mum.
21:52How would you rate Sarah's cleaning?
21:54I would say...
21:56..a five or a ten.
21:58How would you rate yourself at a ten?
22:00I would say a nine.
22:03Unbeknown to their families...
22:05The only way that you're ever going to really realise what it is that I do
22:08is by just completely leaving and letting you get on with it.
22:11..Carla and Sarah are keeping an eagle eye on what's going on back home.
22:17This is an extreme situation to go that far,
22:20to be leaving the house,
22:21for me to be picking up, basically,
22:23the chores that you've been doing since we've been together.
22:26He's saying that this is an extreme thing
22:28for me to have a little bit of a break,
22:30like, for all the stuff that I do,
22:31so all the stuff that I've been doing for all of the years,
22:33and he's got the cheek to say, how dare I?
22:35And I'm being funny, they're his kids as well.
22:37Yeah, I'm glad we did this, this is good.
22:39He deserves it.
22:40He does, doesn't he?
22:41He deserves it, cos he's never realised.
22:43He deserves every bit of it, I'm sorry.
22:44Seeing as Mum ain't here, we're going to have a pizza hut.
22:47How about that?
22:48Wow.
22:49Ooh, here we go.
22:51First opportunity, and he's skived off.
22:53I know what he's doing,
22:54he's trying to make it look like he's got his shit together,
22:56so he eliminated, straight away,
22:58eliminated the stress of dinner.
23:00Yeah, I'm coming, darling.
23:03You've got to be kidding me.
23:07I feel so drained.
23:10Oh, my God, he is cracking.
23:12I can hear Madison going, Dad, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
23:14and he's like, I can't hear him anymore.
23:16He's getting tired.
23:17Just from day one, he's getting tired.
23:21Now it's Sarah's turn to peek inside the house.
23:24I've got to tell you guys something.
23:26Mum has gone away for a week.
23:27I need to cook for you,
23:29need to do everything all by myself now.
23:31He didn't even seem to...
23:33The thing with Kwaku, he takes everything as,
23:35oh, it's all right, I could do it.
23:37So when he comes home from work, he's always like,
23:40oh, what did you do today?
23:41I tell him what I've done,
23:42oh, but yeah, you could have done it like this,
23:44it would have been easier for you,
23:45do it like this, do it like this.
23:46So he just takes everything as,
23:47oh, everything is cool, it's good,
23:49nothing is hard in life.
23:53So the dings to the clean, where did that come from?
23:56It's in the jeans, I got it from my mum.
23:59How would you rate Sarah's cleaning?
24:01I would say five out of ten.
24:04How would you rate yourself out of ten?
24:06I would say nine.
24:08Oh, my, are you flipping having a joke?
24:11He rates himself a nine out of ten,
24:12and he thinks you're a five.
24:13My cleaning is five out of ten.
24:15This is disgusting.
24:16You come home from work every single day
24:18and the house is spotless.
24:20I can't believe he has just said that.
24:22Do I need to even be there?
24:23Why am I even living there?
24:24What am I there for?
24:25Because my cleaning is five out of ten.
24:27You're clearly saying that I'm not doing enough
24:29when I'm doing everything.
24:31And there's no appreciation.
24:32Nothing is ever enough, no appreciation, nothing.
24:34Oh, come here.
24:42Oh, God.
24:45Back in Hastings...
24:47There's just, like, crumbs everywhere.
24:49..the biblical challenge of cleaning the house
24:52is dawning on Karl.
24:54It's all over the chairs, the floor, the table.
24:57And he's beginning to repent for his previous transgressions.
25:00Honestly, sometimes I'll come in and I'll look
25:04and I haven't seen it.
25:06That's bad, innit?
25:09Oh, my God.
25:11He's got to do it. He can't get away from it.
25:13He can't run away from it.
25:14He can't do that and ignore it.
25:15He's got to face it head on.
25:16Look at that.
25:23That is very strong.
25:25Is he going to be sick?
25:28HE COUGHS
25:30HE LAUGHS
25:32HE COUGHS
25:35Oh!
25:39I love that. I know, as sick as that sounds, I love that.
25:43I am tired.
25:45I literally have not had a shower.
25:47I've done nothing with my hair today.
25:49I could actually do with a nice hot bath with some candles.
25:54Turn the lights off and just...
25:56and put a face mask on and just chill out.
25:59Welcome to my world, darling. Welcome to my world.
26:04Over in Bedfordshire,
26:05Kwaku is cooking up one of his secret Ghanaian dishes.
26:09And like Carl, he too is in the mood to confess.
26:14If she was here, would you actually cook this?
26:18No, I wouldn't cook that.
26:20Because if I let this cover one cup of water,
26:25I'll end up cooking every day.
26:32Everything is on me.
26:34You heard him, he said he's lazy.
26:36And when he gets home, he doesn't want to do anything.
26:39This is what needs to change.
26:40He thinks that because I'm working at home,
26:42I have time to do what I need to do at home.
26:44I haven't got any excuse.
26:45And do you get to do your work at home?
26:47No, I don't.
26:48All I do is just clean and look after the children.
26:50That's all I do. That's my life.
26:52And I can see how much it's upsetting you.
26:54It's really, really frustrating.
26:56Honestly, it really is.
26:58And have you told him how you feel?
27:00Why do I need to tell him something like that?
27:03Does he care?
27:05Does he care?
27:07Before we got married, we had counselling.
27:10And the pastor did say our backgrounds will clash
27:13because we're from two different backgrounds coming together.
27:16And now I see exactly what he's saying.
27:19And do you know the worst thing about this all?
27:21He hasn't even had the full experience.
27:23Do you know why?
27:24Why?
27:25Because I've still got the baby with me.
27:26I think you should give it some thought
27:28about giving Judah back to Quako for the entire rest of this strike.
27:34I feel like I've got to really push him to that final limit.
27:37He's trying to attack me already.
27:38Don't do it, Dad!
27:40She wants me to do all that she's saying.
27:42Do you want your wife back home or not?
27:45After secretly observing life back home...
27:48Daddy, I can't find any knickers.
27:52It's all right, babe. I'll find it for you.
27:54How hard can this actually be?
27:56Carla and Sarah want to make sure their partners fully understand
28:00what changes need to be made before they're willing to return.
28:04So they're sending in their most trusted allies to deliver the message.
28:09So after seeing the clip that you sent me,
28:12So after seeing the clips yesterday,
28:14I can sense the frustrations and the stress,
28:16which is exactly what I wanted to happen.
28:21Who's that?
28:22However, I do feel as though he's only really scratching the surface
28:25when it comes to the jobs.
28:27Police!
28:30I feel like I've got to really push him to that final limit
28:33for him to understand.
28:34First, BFF Danielle wants the inside scoop on life without Carla.
28:39Fill me in. What's been going on?
28:41It's just been stressful. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.
28:45See, there you go.
28:46You go into the kitchen, you come back in
28:48and now there's all more wrappers on the table
28:50and it's just going round in circles all the time.
28:53That's right, Carl, it does.
28:54So it's giving you a little taste.
28:56I don't like the flavour.
28:57There's probably far more shit that she does
28:59than I've even done over the last few days.
29:01But imagine having all that, what you've just had for three days.
29:04Carla has it every day.
29:06No, I know.
29:07Every day.
29:09While Carl digests a few home truths,
29:12over in Bedfordshire,
29:14Kwaku's mother-in-law Sue is here to deliver some of her own
29:18and a baby.
29:21Hello.
29:23Hello, boy.
29:25Where have you been?
29:28This morning, you know, she called
29:30and we were having a conversation
29:32and she expressed so much.
29:34I think maybe didn't appreciate too much of what Sarah,
29:38you know, was going through,
29:39trying to look after the children,
29:41looking after the house.
29:43When she comes home,
29:44I think it starts to be a fresh start
29:47where you can shape him more,
29:49you can help him more.
29:51If I see the laundry,
29:53all that comes to mind is,
29:55oh, I go to work, I'm out there
29:57and you're not there helping me out there.
29:59I'm doing it all by myself to bring food,
30:02to put food on our table.
30:04So if you are home and you just got the baby,
30:07why don't you do it?
30:08You just grab it and put it in the washing machine.
30:11So you think it's that easy?
30:13Oh, Kwaku.
30:14Both mother-in-law Sue and BFF Danielle
30:17have brought with them a list of demands
30:19that need to be completed
30:21before Sarah and Carla will consider coming home.
30:25Oh, look at his face.
30:27Wipe the tabletops.
30:28Yeah.
30:29Clean the kitchen.
30:30Mop the floors.
30:31Have you mopped the floors at all since she's been gone?
30:33No.
30:34Do at least three loads of laundry a day.
30:37Three a day?
30:38Do you want your wife back home or not?
30:39Yes, yes, yes.
30:40OK.
30:41The cleaning of the fish tank, that's rotten.
30:43Have you ever cleaned the fish tank?
30:44Never.
30:45Side of the kids' room.
30:46I don't want to put my hand in there
30:47because I don't want them touching me.
30:48Do all of this list, looking after baby Judah.
30:51One thing she was really hot on was the toilets.
30:54She wants me to do all that she's saying.
30:56Yeah.
30:57At the same time, looking after baby.
30:58Of course, that's what she does.
30:59Because that's what she...
31:00Yes, that's what she does.
31:01Carla has really spoiled you.
31:03Really spoiled you.
31:05I am getting that idea, to be honest.
31:08Obviously, that list needs to be done.
31:10What do you fancy doing first?
31:12I'll go for the toilet.
31:14Right, come with him.
31:15This is what...
31:16Oh, I hope there's not lots of skids, Carl.
31:18HE COUGHS
31:19You've got squirty stuff next to the toilet.
31:21You need to spray that all over the toilet and wipe it down.
31:24HE COUGHS
31:27Daddy's going to do your homework with you.
31:30She threw...
31:31What?
31:32The marble.
31:33Full stop.
31:34Are you on about maybe two, three of the uniforms?
31:36I know that.
31:37I know that if we get things done in advance,
31:40it will help us.
31:41Ten out of ten.
31:42Cheers!
31:43Ten out of ten.
31:44Only ten out of ten.
31:45I'll tell you what you could do, Carl.
31:47Making the kids' beds.
31:49So it's really neat, like a show home.
31:51That would really impress Carla.
31:53See, now you know how to do the mirrors.
31:55Like, that's one less job for Carla.
31:57I use all the mirrors, to be honest.
31:59Yeah, we know.
32:00Sparkling.
32:02I'm trying my best.
32:04I'm trying my best.
32:06So if you do a bit every day,
32:08the laundry basket will always be nearly empty.
32:11I would love any of you and all the best with the baby Judah tonight.
32:15If you have your wife, you have to do away, man.
32:17I do, I do, yeah.
32:19As Kwaku prepares for the terrifying prospect of a night with no sleep,
32:23Carl is about to face horrors of his own.
32:28Are you ready for this?
32:30Are you ready for this, Carl?
32:32No.
32:33I'm not ready.
32:39Oh, see?
32:40See?
32:41It's trying to attack me already.
32:42Don't do it, Dad.
32:45It's getting closer.
32:47Oh, fuck me.
32:48Ah.
32:52Yay, Daddy, you did it.
32:54The fish now have a home sweet home.
32:57That could do with a polish.
32:58It could do, Danielle.
33:02Do you want to sleep?
33:03Or you want to eat?
33:06It's Kwaku's first morning with baby Judah,
33:09and he's feeling the burn.
33:11Oh, I'm tired.
33:13Judah, Daddy's tired.
33:16Hmm?
33:17I need to get all the laundry done.
33:19OK?
33:20Tidy up.
33:23Sit down, sit down, I'm going to feed you.
33:24Sit down, sit down, Judah.
33:26So how many times did Judah wake up?
33:28I would say seven.
33:30Seven times.
33:33It's OK, it's OK.
33:35It was like every two hours he was waking up.
33:40Open your mouth, then.
33:44Open your mouth.
33:47I didn't know that this is so stressful
33:49to look after four kids
33:51without your partner being there.
33:54Because I used to nag at my wife that if she hasn't done it,
33:56she hasn't done it, not knowing that it's so stressful
33:58and you can't get anything done.
34:05Oh, my head.
34:07Oh, gosh.
34:12Over in Hastings, Carl is having his own epiphany.
34:16I've found that over the last few days,
34:19attempting to do anything while these kids are about,
34:22is a nightmare,
34:24cos they're just constantly shouting at you all the time,
34:27and you're backwards and forwards,
34:29and there's, like, literally there's jobs that are, like, half done.
34:32Oh, what's going on here?
34:34You don't, you just don't get time to finish,
34:37and it's really frustrating.
34:39Oh, he's done it again.
34:41I've not been done.
34:42Carl's lightbulb moment comes just at the right time
34:45for him and Carla.
34:48Currently, it's really quiet and peaceful in the house,
34:52doing this, like the folding of the washing,
34:55it gives you time to think.
34:57Me and Carla have been together for about ten years.
35:01We've gone through a bit of a bad patch
35:03over the last, like, six, seven months.
35:05The couple split up temporarily six months ago,
35:08with Carla unhappy with Carl's attitude towards domestic life.
35:12The stress levels that she's had through doing this
35:15have been really high,
35:17and I've never understood why she's so stressed about it.
35:20Why she's so stressy sometimes,
35:22and then why we argue over certain elements of household stuff.
35:26Carl's bad habits are long-standing.
35:29It was quite unstable as a childhood.
35:31My parents had broken up,
35:33and I was basically left to my own devices.
35:35From an early age, I always only had to fend for myself,
35:38so any of the cleaning that has to be done is only my mess,
35:42and if I don't make the mess, nothing needs to be cleaned,
35:45and that's how I used to be.
35:47I understand now.
35:49There is a lot of changes that I've got to make.
35:52I want her to see and know that I understand what she's going through,
35:56and it makes this whole process worthwhile, do you know what I mean?
36:03The strike is also reaping positive changes for Carla.
36:07Since I've been on strike, I've really been able to work on myself,
36:10take that much-needed time for me,
36:12which is something that I haven't done for such a long time,
36:15and I feel like it's so important just to do that every now and again
36:18so that you don't allow yourself to get to those really horrible stress levels
36:22that I was finding myself functioning at on most days.
36:25When I go home, I am going to really change my whole entire life.
36:30I feel like it's so important to implement
36:32all of what I've been doing over the last few days.
36:34I honestly feel like a completely different person.
36:41Back in Bedfordshire, Kwaku is hoping for some headspace of his own.
36:47Finally.
36:48As he still has a mountain of Sarah's daily jobs to complete,
36:52while preparing dinner for the kids.
36:55The rice cooker.
36:57Oh, gosh.
36:58The rice cooker was on, and then...
37:00Oh, the rice is dry now, so I need to just empty it.
37:03Oh, gosh, I left the soup on last night.
37:06It's gone thick again.
37:07Kwaku's morning is turning into a bit of a mare.
37:10Did I wash them? Oh, I didn't turn them on.
37:13Oh, gosh.
37:14It's barely lunchtime, and he's already found himself three goals down.
37:19I want my wife back.
37:24It's not what I thought.
37:25Looking after baby Judah, looking after the kids.
37:28Wipe tabletops, tabletops.
37:30Doing all these house chores, it's painful.
37:33All my body's aching.
37:35This enlightenment has encouraged Kwaku to do some reflecting.
37:39The way I was brought up, I saw my mum being like a superwoman.
37:43She would go to work, night shift, sleep for two hours,
37:46get up, looking after my younger siblings,
37:48cook for my dad and clean and all that.
37:51All because of that mentality, that culture, African mentality, traditional.
37:56So when I saw that, it's like,
37:58I want a woman that I marry to be like my mum.
38:01But I've realised that I shouldn't compare anyone,
38:04especially my wife, to my mum.
38:06Because my wife is not my mum, she's my wife.
38:10I think my wife is doing a lot.
38:12And then I think I need to appreciate what she's doing,
38:15because it's not easy.
38:20There were so many occasions where I did ask for a bit of help.
38:23I found that quite hard to accept
38:25that there was another responsible adult in the house.
38:28You said my cleaning is five out of ten.
38:39After their week apart,
38:41Carla is about to meet Carl for the first time since she went on strike.
38:45I can't wait to sit with Carl and have a big conversation, a big chat,
38:48and hopefully he's learnt a lot from this experience.
38:51The outcome of this conversation
38:53could determine whether they'll be tying the knot
38:56or going their separate ways.
38:59Hello.
39:00You all right?
39:01Yeah, you?
39:04So before I went on strike,
39:06I honestly felt like I did absolutely everything.
39:09And there were so many occasions where I did ask for a bit of help,
39:12and then I'd come through and I'd look into the front room
39:15and you'd be there on your phone.
39:17I found that quite hard to accept
39:19that there was another responsible adult in the house.
39:22So by going on strike, you've obviously had to do all of that yourself.
39:26So how have you managed to cope with it all?
39:28It's been stressful.
39:29You're stressed?
39:30Yeah.
39:31That's really hard, isn't it?
39:32Yeah, very.
39:33Do you feel as though you understand my reasons for going on strike?
39:36I didn't see or think that I was half as bad
39:40as what you were making out.
39:42Where I've actually done all these things that you do,
39:46I agree with the whole process.
39:49Oh, OK.
39:50Yeah.
39:51This is lovely.
39:52No, I do, I do.
39:53I have to apologise.
39:54I've learnt my lesson, just to say.
39:56What have you learnt?
39:57I think if these jobs are done,
40:00life will be so much easier.
40:03Oh, that is music to my ears.
40:05So much easier.
40:06To wake up to a clean house, like, every day,
40:10is so much easier.
40:11Just keeping on top of it all.
40:12Just keep on top of it, yeah.
40:13And I think if I'm helping, it's easier.
40:15I know you've always mentioned about getting married
40:17and I always kind of felt like, you know,
40:20I didn't want to get married and then things get even worse.
40:22I didn't feel like we was at a place within our life to be married
40:25because there were so many things that needed to be changed.
40:28However, from the sound of things, that might change.
40:37After a week of striking,
40:39it's time for Sarah to meet with husband Kwaku.
40:42You said my cleaning is five out of ten
40:45and your cleaning is nine out of ten.
40:48The reason why I said that, I do it thoroughly
40:50because I haven't got any child to cry and bother me.
40:54So if I get my hands on something, I have to.
40:57OK, so you know because I'm doing too much,
40:59so I can't get to finish the tasks.
41:00Is that what you're trying to say?
41:01Yeah, that was the reason why I said that.
41:03So I didn't say that just to piss you off.
41:05So maybe if you chipped in,
41:07maybe the cleaning would be ten out of ten.
41:09You see me day in, day out, Kwaku, all the time.
41:12Cleaning, cooking, doing this, doing that.
41:14You watch me.
41:15The social media work that I'm doing,
41:17the make-up jobs that I'm doing,
41:18I'm not able to put in as much
41:20because I feel like if I don't get these chores done now,
41:25it's going to pile up on me.
41:27I've got to do the school runs.
41:28I've got to do the cooking.
41:29I'm looking after Jude.
41:30I'm doing so much.
41:31I don't get time for myself.
41:33As a husband, whatever you want me to help to do,
41:35you just let me know and then we just sort it out.
41:37Yeah, I think if we meet each other halfway.
41:39Yeah.
41:40What have you learned from this strike?
41:43I've learned a lot.
41:45I've learned patience
41:48and I've learned how to cherish you.
41:52I appreciate being grateful of what you do
41:56because I was looking after Jude.
41:59Last two nights, my head,
42:02I couldn't even close my eyes.
42:04My eyes were heavy.
42:06I was yawning all day yesterday because of Jude.
42:11I'm just so grateful for this strike.
42:15I'm glad that it's actually been successful.
42:17I just hope that things are going to change from today, Kwaku.
42:20I wouldn't say it's going to change.
42:22It's changed already.
42:24Are you sure?
42:25Yes.
42:26Certain.
42:27I'm certain.
42:28After a whole week,
42:29Carla has decided to end her strike.
42:32I'm so excited to go home today.
42:34I've been reflecting
42:36and I'm so impressed with the way Carl's handled everything.
42:39I really feel like he's grown as a person as well,
42:41as well as I have from being on strike.
42:43That was just what I needed too.
42:45I'm excited to see what the future brings for us both.
42:50In Bedfordshire, Sarah has also decided to return home.
42:55Yeah, I feel good. I feel refreshed.
42:57I'm ready to see the family.
42:59I've missed them so much
43:01and I'm looking forward to a changed man
43:05and a clean home.
43:07Back home, Kwaku is hoping Sarah will love his housework
43:11as much as the kids are finally loving his cooking.
43:15How is the food? Is it good?
43:17Yeah.
43:18Absolutely banging.
43:20I think I'm going to sneak in.
43:22Let me see the doors.
43:26Got to sneak in.
43:31That's not onion. That's yam.
43:34Guess who's home?
43:36Mummy!
43:41I think, yeah, the strike has been really successful.
43:44The kitchen looks fab.
43:46Coming home to see the house and everything in order.
43:49More rice for you. Your favourite.
43:51Thank you very much.
43:52Just to hear how much he's learnt in just a week.
43:55Wow!
43:56This is like more of a modern relationship.
43:59This is what I've always wanted.
44:03Well done, well done, well done.
44:05I'm happy.
44:06I'm happy.
44:08Which one shall I get, Maddy?
44:10Shall I get...
44:11That one.
44:12Crab.
44:13OK, the crab.
44:14Crab.
44:15Whoa!
44:16Got it.
44:17Right, Tyler's turn and then your turn.
44:19Can I have a go?
44:20Oh!
44:21Oh, hi!
44:22Oh!
44:23It's bubby!
44:24Whoa!
44:25Bubby!
44:26Hello!
44:27I'm back!
44:28Daddy's turn.
44:29Oh!
44:30Mwah!
44:31Mwah!
44:32Mwah!
44:33Mwah!
44:34Mwah!
44:35Mwah!
44:37Since having the meet-up with you yesterday,
44:39I feel like we're both on board,
44:41we've both got the same feelings, the same thoughts.
44:44Is that lasagne?
44:45Oh!
44:46Did you make it from scratch?
44:47Yeah.
44:48And it feels like we're actually a couple
44:50and a nice team going forwards.
44:53Is that lasagne?
44:54Oh!
44:55Oh, my God, thank you.
44:57The final part of our life that needed addressing
44:59and sorting out was this.
45:01I feel like everything's fixed.
45:03I feel like my life's fixed.
45:05I feel like the luckiest human on this Earth.
45:08Marriage on the way.
45:09Yes!
45:10Yay!
45:11That's what I'm talking about.
45:16Oh, for God's sake, are they taking the mick?
45:19No, Gracie, Luna!
45:21Girls, have you seen this?
45:22They've done nothing.
45:23Like biscuit crumbs in a bathroom.
45:25It's like a chick went in and was just like,
45:27well, I've got you now, I'm going to just do what I want.
45:30Can't possibly wear this many shoes.
45:33I've heard it before.
45:34Look, she's never said, oh, you know, I'm going on strike.
46:04Oh, my God.
46:05Oh, my God.
46:06Oh, my God.
46:07Oh, my God.
46:08Oh, my God.
46:09Oh, my God.
46:10Oh, my God.
46:11Oh, my God.
46:12Oh, my God.
46:13Oh, my God.
46:14Oh, my God.
46:15Oh, my God.
46:16Oh, my God.
46:17Oh, my God.
46:18Oh, my God.
46:19Oh, my God.
46:20Oh, my God.
46:21Oh, my God.
46:22Oh, my God.
46:23Oh, my God.
46:24Oh, my God.
46:25Oh, my God.
46:26Oh, my God.
46:27Oh, my God.
46:28Oh, my God.
46:29Oh, my God.
46:30Oh, my God.
46:31Oh, my God.
46:32Oh, my God.