Dead Heat (1988) Action Horror Comedy
While LAPD detectives Roger and Doug are investigating crimes committed by dead criminals, the former is killed. Later, he is brought back to life by a resurrecting machine
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:30♪♪
00:00:40♪♪
00:01:00♪♪
00:01:10♪♪
00:01:20♪♪
00:01:30♪♪
00:01:40♪♪
00:01:50Now, this is something quite spectacular.
00:01:53It's from Brazil.
00:01:58Come on!
00:02:00Come on!
00:02:05Isn't that an absolutely exquisite piece?
00:02:07Yeah, but I was looking for something
00:02:09a little more expensive.
00:02:18All right!
00:02:19Everybody move!
00:02:21First on the counter, lady!
00:02:22Come on!
00:02:23You want to be dead?
00:02:24Here's a chance of a lifetime.
00:02:26On the floor, brown-arm!
00:02:29You!
00:02:30Hug the rug!
00:02:35Ah, you cheap old bitch!
00:02:37Well, Smitty, come on!
00:02:42You idiot!
00:02:49What are you doing?
00:02:51Just looking.
00:02:55You asshole.
00:02:57Shut your mouth and fill the bag.
00:03:07♪♪
00:03:17Doug?
00:03:21Doug?
00:03:23Doug?
00:03:24What?
00:03:26I felt that we were going plain close today.
00:03:28Why didn't you tell me we were going undercover?
00:03:30You didn't ask.
00:03:32What's the matter, Rod?
00:03:34I look like an FBI agent on a Rose Bowl float.
00:03:37You look great, man. Relax.
00:03:40Five Adam 38.
00:03:43Doug?
00:03:44Five Adam 38.
00:03:45Dispatcher?
00:03:47Five Adam 38, please respond.
00:03:49Five Adam 38 what?
00:03:51Two 11 in progress in Melrose Place.
00:03:53Proceed immediately.
00:03:54You didn't say, may I?
00:03:56Whoo!
00:03:57All right, kick-ass 30, Harry!
00:03:59Ain't you losing this time?
00:04:00Roger, Roger, but you can't get him if you're dead, man.
00:04:04♪♪
00:04:09♪♪
00:04:16Morning, Detective.
00:04:17Got a bit of a situation.
00:04:18I'm being?
00:04:19Two 11.
00:04:20Perps in the jewelry store with automatic weapons.
00:04:22We're going to take them when they exit the premises.
00:04:24I'd have said it better myself, Lieutenant.
00:04:26Come on, come on.
00:04:31You think it's our cash in the dashboard?
00:04:33Who else would pull a clown in a stunt like this, Roger?
00:04:36How about your fingers here?
00:04:37Too much, leave it.
00:04:39♪♪
00:04:47Freeze! Drop your weapons!
00:04:49♪♪
00:04:59♪♪
00:05:09♪♪
00:05:19♪♪
00:05:34Hey, Roger, a little too early in the morning for this.
00:05:36♪♪
00:05:39Where have these guys stayed?
00:05:41We hit them about 50 times each.
00:05:43Maybe they're just flesh wounds.
00:05:45Will you cover me, please?
00:05:47Can I borrow your car, Lieutenant?
00:05:49Absolutely not!
00:05:51♪♪
00:05:54Come on!
00:05:56Come on, come on!
00:05:58♪♪
00:06:08♪♪
00:06:18♪♪
00:06:28♪♪
00:06:38Uh-oh.
00:06:41♪♪
00:06:54You're under arrest.
00:06:56You have the right to remain disgusting.
00:06:58Are you sure that's necessary?
00:06:59You can't be too careful.
00:07:01Smartass!
00:07:03That was the craziest, stupidest,
00:07:05most dumbfucked stunt I ever saw.
00:07:07No, please, don't thank me, Lieutenant.
00:07:09I get my thanks from helping others.
00:07:11You better believe the captain's gonna hear about this.
00:07:15Gee, you think he'll want a word with us?
00:07:17Unauthorized use of a city vehicle.
00:07:20Reckless endangerment of property and lives.
00:07:23Use of a non-regulation firearm.
00:07:25That was me, not Bigelow, sir.
00:07:27Disrespectful conduct.
00:07:28Flippant and tasteless verbal remarks.
00:07:31That was me.
00:07:33And 18 parking tickets so far this month.
00:07:36Need I point out that you guys are already on probation twice,
00:07:40and that this morning's cowboy adventure
00:07:42puts both of you on the endangered species list,
00:07:45and that your badges go into the shitter
00:07:47if you screw up just one more time.
00:07:49Captain, this man deserves a medal,
00:07:51and I think I deserve one for saving his life.
00:07:53Look, I couldn't help noticing
00:07:55that in spite of Herzog's whining,
00:07:57you guys did the job he didn't.
00:07:59So I'm prepared to cut you a little slack.
00:08:02Thank you, sir.
00:08:03But it would be nice
00:08:05to earn it by nailing the rest of these cash-and-dash fuckers to the wall
00:08:08with a 12-inch railroad spike.
00:08:10We're working on that, sir.
00:08:12Work harder!
00:08:20Fine man, Captain Mayberry.
00:08:22Make a really good gym teacher.
00:08:24Just be glad we're still employed.
00:08:25Call me Thursday.
00:08:27I love this job, Roger.
00:08:28I love the power. I love the little badges.
00:08:30I love being a human target
00:08:31for anyone within sniping range of a donut shop.
00:08:33It does have its perks.
00:08:37So what did we learn from this little adventure, Dorothy?
00:08:40So far, we've had six robberies.
00:08:43Three banks, two jewelry stores, and a goldsmith shop.
00:08:46All in the past three weeks,
00:08:48and all in the same nine-block radius.
00:08:50A Beverly Hills jewelry store robbery
00:08:52ended in bloodshed today,
00:08:54part of what police are calling
00:08:56the most violent string of robberies in city history.
00:08:59Six incidents in the last two weeks
00:09:01have been linked to the so-called
00:09:03Cash and Dash gang,
00:09:05which has thus far eluded capture,
00:09:07although two of its alleged members
00:09:09were killed in today's battle with police.
00:09:11Hey, Roger, how many think are in the gang?
00:09:13That's hard to say.
00:09:15Descriptions are always different,
00:09:17so there's got to be a bunch of them.
00:09:19Maybe they take turns.
00:09:21Are you sure it's the same folks?
00:09:23The M.O.s are the same.
00:09:25Perpetrators are heavily armed and work in pairs.
00:09:28Often striking in broad daylight
00:09:30with reckless disregard for their personal safety.
00:09:32Yeah, and if you shoot them, they don't die.
00:09:36Some drugs do that.
00:09:38PCP users can shrug off all sorts of physical trauma.
00:09:41Yeah, but bullets runch.
00:09:43It's possible.
00:09:45Yeah, it's bullshit, man.
00:09:47Mortis.
00:09:49It's Smithers. I've got something for you.
00:09:51Get down to the morgue as fast as you can.
00:09:53Did you ever wonder about your death day, Roger?
00:09:57Let's say your death day was, I don't know, April 23rd,
00:09:59and somehow you knew that.
00:10:01You could have a death day party.
00:10:03You have passed weird, Bigelow.
00:10:05You're approaching degenerate.
00:10:07You can get totally ripped, man.
00:10:09Pig out, invite all your friends.
00:10:11Get yourself a beautiful lady, right?
00:10:13Right in the heat of passion.
00:10:15Sorry, did I interrupt last night's conquest?
00:10:17Hardly.
00:10:19Hi, Roger.
00:10:21Hello, Rebecca.
00:10:25So how have you been?
00:10:27I have a home phone, Roger.
00:10:29Using the mutilated remains of street scum
00:10:31as an excuse to ask after my health
00:10:33is not exactly what I would call thoughtful.
00:10:36And you call me degenerate.
00:10:40So what's the story on these John Doe's?
00:10:42What's so unbelievable?
00:10:44I'll show you.
00:10:46Hey, nice shot, Roger. Thanks.
00:10:48Is there enough here to identify?
00:10:50I wondered that myself.
00:10:52The teeth and fingerprints are practically worthless.
00:10:54But I noticed one thing. What?
00:10:56I can see where the cut was made,
00:10:58traversing the sternum and incised with an electric saw.
00:11:01They had surgery? Nope.
00:11:03They had autopsies.
00:11:05They've been here before, fellas.
00:11:08I certified them myself.
00:11:10I even took pictures.
00:11:17Well, we all make mistakes, Dr. Smithers.
00:11:20Dr. McNabb, I am not in the habit of signing a death certificate
00:11:23for someone who just doesn't feel well.
00:11:25I would hope not.
00:11:27But the fact remains that I think you screwed up
00:11:29when these two boys got up after you were done
00:11:32and strolled out of here.
00:11:34I never forget a body, Doctor.
00:11:40Well, in five years, she'll be damn good.
00:11:42But right now, she's too quick
00:11:44to jump to fanciful conclusions
00:11:46without really digging for the truth.
00:11:48And that, gentlemen, is what autopsies are all about.
00:11:50Asshole. I beg your pardon?
00:11:52That's fascinating. Yes, isn't it?
00:11:54I have to admit, it is very strange.
00:11:56Strange, yes, but... Excuse me.
00:11:58Hey, Doctor, what is this for, anyway?
00:12:00Oh.
00:12:02You wouldn't want to know.
00:12:10Knock, knock.
00:12:12Come to read me my rights?
00:12:15Was that one sugar or two?
00:12:17Two, but I gave it up.
00:12:19I thought we gave those up, too.
00:12:22Yeah, well, I kicked one bad habit
00:12:24and picked up another.
00:12:26Whoa, hey.
00:12:28I came in here to give you some moral support.
00:12:31Don't you believe in fish that swim?
00:12:33No, they're just as pretty,
00:12:35and I don't have to feed them.
00:12:37What about those corpses?
00:12:39Do you believe me?
00:12:41There's definitely something very weird going on here.
00:12:43I'll say.
00:12:45Look, is there anything else in this room
00:12:47that you don't believe in?
00:12:49I don't believe in anything.
00:12:51I don't believe in anything.
00:12:53I don't believe in anything.
00:12:55I don't believe in anything.
00:12:57I don't believe in anything.
00:12:59Is there anything else
00:13:01that you find strange about these guys?
00:13:04You mean besides the fact that they won't stay dead?
00:13:07Yeah.
00:13:09Yes, I did turn up something unusual in their skin tissue.
00:13:11Like what?
00:13:13Trace quantities of sulfathiazole,
00:13:15a drug once used in bacterial infections.
00:13:17Pretty obscure stuff.
00:13:23Dante Pharmaceuticals.
00:13:25Recent purchaser of 50 kilos of sulfathiazole.
00:13:28You do the talking, Roger.
00:13:30I'm not sure how to phrase this.
00:13:32Well, let's just tell the truth.
00:13:34We're looking for someone who hijacks dead bodies
00:13:36and brings them back to life to rob jewelry stores.
00:13:45Good afternoon.
00:13:47Police Detectives Mortis and Bigelow.
00:13:51Good afternoon.
00:13:53Police Detectives Mortis and Bigelow.
00:13:57Sorry to interrupt your erection, pal,
00:13:59but we'd like to speak with the management of this facility.
00:14:05Miss James, the front, please.
00:14:24What can I do for you?
00:14:27I'm Detective Mortis,
00:14:29and this is Detective Bigelow, LAPD.
00:14:33Do you manage this facility?
00:14:35I'm in charge of public relations.
00:14:37Randy James.
00:14:39How do you do?
00:14:41What's this all about, officer?
00:14:43Well, we're not at liberty to disclose the details, Miss James,
00:14:46but we are interested in a recent purchase you made
00:14:48of a drug called sulfathiazole.
00:14:50And if you know any zombies.
00:14:52Beg your pardon?
00:14:54What's the drug typically used for?
00:14:56Quite a number of things.
00:14:58Let me show you our basic product line.
00:15:05Most of our products are over-the-counter items,
00:15:07not terribly interesting to the layman.
00:15:09Cosmetics, personal hygiene,
00:15:11toiletries and so on.
00:15:13Items everyone uses but nobody likes to talk about.
00:15:16Tampons?
00:15:18Hemorrhoid cream? Stuff for crabs?
00:15:20Among others.
00:15:22Hello.
00:15:24Hi.
00:15:26Right this way, gentlemen.
00:15:28All of our products are thoroughly tested
00:15:30before release to the general public.
00:15:32Great. The dog gets skin cancer, so we don't have to.
00:15:34You were telling us about sulfathiazole.
00:15:36Uh, yes. Nothing really special about it.
00:15:38It was widely used up until the 40s
00:15:40when it was replaced by other compounds.
00:15:42Well, we still use it as an antiseptic agent
00:15:44and an herbal skin ointment.
00:15:46I hope I don't offend you,
00:15:48but, uh, you ever seen these guys before?
00:15:50Oh, never.
00:15:52No, I can't say I regret it either.
00:15:54Hey, what's that?
00:16:00Sad but necessary.
00:16:02When we have to kill an animal, it goes in here.
00:16:04The room is airtight,
00:16:06and a piston evacuates the air
00:16:08in a period of a few seconds.
00:16:10The animal perishes quickly and quietly.
00:16:12Didn't I see one of these at Disneyland?
00:16:14Well, that's just about it, gentlemen.
00:16:16I don't know if I've been any help to you.
00:16:18Hey, what's in here?
00:16:20Uh, toxic waste products.
00:16:22Properly disposed of, I assure you.
00:16:24Well, I think that's all we need to see.
00:16:26Uh, you know, Miss James,
00:16:28I gotta take a leak so bad my teeth are floating.
00:16:30Is there a little boys' room around here?
00:16:32I just gotta pee-pee.
00:16:34Down the hall.
00:16:36Excuse me.
00:16:38Down the hall.
00:16:40Excuse me.
00:17:04No admittance, my ass.
00:17:08No admittance.
00:17:38What the hell is this?
00:18:08Uh!
00:18:16Well, thanks for all your help, Miss James.
00:18:18Not at all.
00:18:20Listen, uh,
00:18:22about my partner, he's...
00:18:24A Neanderthal?
00:18:26Yes.
00:18:28But a nice Neanderthal.
00:18:30It's all right. The world's full of them.
00:18:32No!
00:18:34Get him!
00:18:36Whoa!
00:18:38Whoa!
00:18:40Whoa!
00:18:42Whoa!
00:18:44Whoa!
00:18:46Hey!
00:18:48Wait!
00:18:50Oh, hey!
00:19:12What is this thing?
00:19:14Very ugly.
00:19:20Oh!
00:19:44Doc!
00:19:46Doc!
00:19:50Doc!
00:19:58Doc!
00:20:21Doc!
00:20:23Doc!
00:20:25Doc!
00:20:45Doc!
00:20:50Doc!
00:20:52Doc!
00:20:55Doc!
00:20:57Doc!
00:21:18Doctor!
00:21:24Doc!
00:21:31What's going on here, Doug? I heard on the radio there was a shooting.
00:21:36Doug, where's Roger?
00:21:40He, uh...
00:21:42got locked in the decompression room.
00:21:47Died the way dogs are supposed to die.
00:21:51They just got that fucking door open.
00:21:55I have to see him, Doug.
00:21:59God, Roger, you thought you were indestructible.
00:22:04What exactly happened here, Doug?
00:22:07Forget it, Becky. You wouldn't believe me.
00:22:10Try me.
00:22:21Come on.
00:22:33They must use the sulfothiazole as some sort of preservative until they get them on here.
00:22:38Becky, can we just get the hell out of here, please?
00:22:51This is how they do it, Doug.
00:22:53This is how they resurrect the dead.
00:22:57Get out of here.
00:23:07Looks like he's in remarkably good condition.
00:23:10He's dead, Becky.
00:23:12It doesn't matter, Doug. Someone has found a way to revitalize dead tissue,
00:23:15the way a starfish grows new limbs.
00:23:17After all, what really separates life from death?
00:23:20But the soul, Becky. What about the soul?
00:23:23Looks like they may have found a way around that, too, Doug.
00:23:29What if he wakes up like some mindless idiot?
00:23:34Then I hope you'll shoot him in the head.
00:23:37Thanks a lot.
00:23:47No!
00:24:18No!
00:24:26Hi, guys.
00:24:29You're alive.
00:24:31Of course I'm alive.
00:24:33I must have taken a hell of a shot there.
00:24:38Hey, uh, Roger. Roger, how you feeling?
00:24:41I feel...
00:24:44Hey, what is this place?
00:24:47What are you doing here, Rebecca?
00:24:49Roger, we'll explain that to you later, but please just tell us how you feel.
00:24:55Well, come to think of it, I...
00:24:58I feel terrific.
00:25:01I feel incredible.
00:25:04Ooh! Ooh, it's great to be alive!
00:25:09Mortis, I thought you were dead.
00:25:12Oh, sorry to disappoint you, Doctor.
00:25:14What's the last thing you remember?
00:25:17Well, we were, uh...
00:25:20We were at the research place, and, uh, we were looking around.
00:25:26And Doug was fighting this thing.
00:25:31I got locked in that room, and I guess I must have blacked out.
00:25:37It was like I was rushing toward this weird light or something.
00:25:43And then I looked down, and I saw myself.
00:25:46My body.
00:25:49Just lying there.
00:25:53But when I reached out to touch it, it was...
00:25:56Like I got hit with 10,000 volts.
00:26:00Well, it's uncommon, but it has happened before.
00:26:03The clinically dead people reviving at the last possible moment.
00:26:06Roger was dead for an hour.
00:26:08What?
00:26:09Don't you see? We literally brought him back...
00:26:13Oh, my God.
00:26:15What is it?
00:26:17I'm not getting a heartbeat.
00:26:19Oh, don't be ridiculous.
00:26:21May I borrow those, please?
00:26:34Obviously, there's something wrong with this thing.
00:26:37Give me that.
00:26:39Something wrong with it.
00:26:51You're faking it. He's faking it.
00:26:53I don't know what's going on here,
00:26:55but I want Mortis back in the lab for some tests.
00:26:58He doesn't need tests. He's dead.
00:27:01Dead? That's ridiculous.
00:27:04Becky, we've both seen this guy shit-faced.
00:27:06He's looked a hell of a lot worse.
00:27:08Listen, this is crazy. I never felt better in my life.
00:27:11Without a heartbeat, that's hard to believe.
00:27:13Dr. Smithers, I have two corpses in the next room
00:27:16that I doubt are going to make a comeback.
00:27:18Now you'll know where I am after you finish with this nonsense.
00:27:26My God, you're cold.
00:27:28Ow!
00:27:30Ow!
00:27:42What the hell is this?
00:27:49I cut the artery. How come I'm not bleeding?
00:27:53Wait a minute.
00:27:55I'm no deader than you are.
00:27:59Roger, it's the resurrection machine.
00:28:02I still don't believe it.
00:28:04I'm sorry, Doug. I just don't believe it.
00:28:07Minute by minute, Roger, that's the only way to take this.
00:28:10It's the only way to live, anyhow.
00:28:12Easy for you to say.
00:28:14Roger, you haven't heard the worst of it.
00:28:16I'm dead, Rebecca. How much worse can it get?
00:28:19I've been scanning the lab report.
00:28:21The resurrection process has an unfortunate side effect.
00:28:24Which is what?
00:28:26Progressive decay of reanimated tissue.
00:28:28Irreversible cell damage.
00:28:30You've got 10 to 12 hours, tops.
00:28:33And then what?
00:28:35All of the cells of your body will dissolve
00:28:38into a kind of organic stew.
00:28:41Becky, can't you just pop them back in for a recharge?
00:28:45Becky, can't you just pop them back in for a recharge?
00:28:48This thing isn't a toaster oven, Doug.
00:28:51Come back to the lab. Maybe we can do something.
00:28:54The most important thing for me to do right now
00:28:57is to nail whoever did this to me.
00:28:59You understand that, don't you?
00:29:01Personally, rip his heart out with my bare hands, Roger.
00:29:04Hold the heart in the palm of my hand.
00:29:07And we'll watch it stop beating together.
00:29:09That's good, Doug. But let's find him first.
00:29:12Where do we start?
00:29:15Let's find Randy James.
00:29:17Roger. We'll meet you at the lab.
00:29:1910 to 12 hours. Don't throw it away.
00:29:23You know, the weird thing is, I feel fine.
00:29:26I feel like I could run in the Boston Marathon.
00:29:29No, you couldn't, Roger. It's not open to dead people.
00:29:32You think they checked?
00:29:34Oh, they're very strict now.
00:29:37Oh, shit.
00:29:39What's the matter?
00:29:41Find me a drugstore. I gotta fix my face.
00:29:53So, what color did you get?
00:29:55Uh... mulberry wine.
00:29:59It's a good choice.
00:30:01Brings out your eyes.
00:30:03Go to hell.
00:30:05Missed a spot.
00:30:07Where?
00:30:08Right there.
00:30:09Don't touch it. I almost got it straight.
00:30:11I love it when you get angry.
00:30:14How do women do this?
00:30:17I don't know. Tribal memory, I guess.
00:30:26Who's guilty? Me.
00:30:30Who's guilty? Me.
00:30:34You left without saying goodbye.
00:30:36Let go of me.
00:30:37Going on a trip?
00:30:38Is it any of your business?
00:30:40What happened to you?
00:30:42Cut myself shaving. Mind if we ask you a whole lot of questions?
00:30:45Look, I don't know anything about what happened in there today.
00:30:47I got scared and I left, okay?
00:30:50Let's talk about it inside.
00:30:55Hey, nice pad.
00:30:58Would you mind telling us what this is all about?
00:31:00I told you.
00:31:02I'm their public relations person.
00:31:04At least I was until you two showed up.
00:31:07How about if I work her over a bit?
00:31:09Oh, I get it.
00:31:11You're the tough cop.
00:31:13And your partner here, he's the nice cop
00:31:15because he's not too scary with lipstick on.
00:31:20Miss James, I got locked in that room where they killed the animals
00:31:23and some nutcase decompressed me,
00:31:25so I am not in a very good mood.
00:31:27Now, all I want is to find him.
00:31:33I'm truly sorry,
00:31:35but I can't help you.
00:31:37I don't know anything.
00:31:40Hey, get out of there.
00:31:42Looks like the lady's going somewhere.
00:31:44Extra patties. Dad giveaway.
00:31:47Where were you headed, Miss James?
00:31:49Away from here.
00:31:51Hey, what's this?
00:31:53That's personal.
00:31:55Must be a tape machine around here somewhere.
00:31:58There we go.
00:32:04We have something on the monitor, Captain.
00:32:07Princess.
00:32:10This may be the last time that I ever talk to you,
00:32:14and I want you to know certain things
00:32:17that I was unable to say until now.
00:32:26Are you all right?
00:32:28Yeah.
00:32:30Remember the good old days when guns killed people?
00:32:33You're just jealous, that's all.
00:32:37Open the door!
00:32:39When?
00:32:41Now!
00:32:43Now!
00:32:45Now!
00:32:47Now!
00:32:49Now!
00:32:51Now!
00:32:53Now!
00:33:06Let's just go!
00:33:08I'll back to the patio!
00:33:23Let's go!
00:33:53Let's go!
00:34:23Shit!
00:34:25Aah!
00:34:51That's really disgusting.
00:34:56What the...
00:35:01What the hell is going on?
00:35:03It kind of looks like somebody wants you dead.
00:35:05You must have outmanaged it, too.
00:35:07But why? I didn't do anything.
00:35:09Maybe it's what you know.
00:35:11I don't know a goddamn thing.
00:35:13I play tour guide, and I write press releases.
00:35:16Roger, you were underwater in that jacuzzi
00:35:19for five straight minutes.
00:35:21That's right, I was.
00:35:23Did you teach my girlfriend how to do that?
00:35:29Damn.
00:35:31They're dead.
00:35:34They always die on me.
00:35:38I'd say there were extenuating circumstances.
00:35:40I don't understand. The blue damsels are my favorite.
00:35:44My favorites always die.
00:35:47Princess, I hope you understand
00:35:49what I am trying to tell you.
00:35:51Yeah, I recognize that guy.
00:35:53If you have any further questions,
00:35:55just contact my lawyer.
00:35:59And always remember how...
00:36:02how very special you are.
00:36:05That's Arthur Loudermilk. Didn't he just die?
00:36:08Two weeks ago.
00:36:12He's my father.
00:36:15Hey, why are you dead?
00:36:17Or even hurt?
00:36:19Kind of a long story.
00:36:22They can't kill me. I'm dead already.
00:36:25I'm a walking corpse, just like those killers.
00:36:28This is nonsense. I can't deal with this.
00:36:31Well, you're gonna have to deal with it!
00:36:38Look, Miss James...
00:36:41Look, Miss James...
00:36:44we need your help.
00:36:48And I think that you need ours, too.
00:36:53Please.
00:36:57All right.
00:37:01Dante Pharmaceuticals
00:37:03was my father's private think tank.
00:37:06Anything that interested him,
00:37:08from mosquitoes to microchips,
00:37:10they researched it for him.
00:37:12So he bankrolled the Resurrection Project?
00:37:14No! He wouldn't!
00:37:16Use human leftovers to rob jewelry stores?
00:37:20Go ahead.
00:37:22Well, last week I did deliver some sulfathiazole
00:37:26to a guy named Thule in Chinatown.
00:37:28Where in Chinatown?
00:37:30Would you like me to write it down?
00:37:32You don't have to. You're coming with us.
00:37:34Forget it. I know my rights.
00:37:36Are you sure? Let me remind you, just in case.
00:37:38You have the right to remain silent.
00:37:40Anything you say can be used against you.
00:37:42What are you doing?
00:37:44Right now, you are our primary suspect.
00:37:46Would you rather come with us or cool your heels in jail?
00:37:49All right.
00:37:51Roger, maybe you ought to get yourself a change of clothes.
00:37:54Being dead isn't something you should advertise.
00:37:56I might have something in my closet.
00:37:58Something for that unexpected overnight guest, Miss James?
00:38:02From an ex-boyfriend, Mr. Bigelow.
00:38:06A very ex.
00:38:33Ah!
00:38:41You okay in there, Roger?
00:38:46Great.
00:38:50Fabulous.
00:39:03Not a word.
00:39:08How many tickets is that this month so far?
00:39:11What the hell do you care?
00:39:13Good point.
00:39:15Roger, this place here has got great egg rolls.
00:39:18Doug, let's talk to this guy first and eat later, okay?
00:39:21I'm dying for some chop suey.
00:39:27This is great. I am starving.
00:39:30Good afternoon. Police Detectives Mortis and Bigelow.
00:39:33We'd like to speak to Mr. Thule, please.
00:39:39Good afternoon. Police Detectives Mortis and Bigelow.
00:39:42We'd like to speak with Mr. Thule, please.
00:39:45Yeah!
00:39:48Listen, Mongo, we're cops,
00:39:50and if Thule's not out here in ten seconds,
00:39:52we're gonna kick some honorable ass.
00:39:58Ah, Miss James.
00:40:00Always a pleasure.
00:40:02Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:04Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:06Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:08Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:10Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:12Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:14Thanks, Mr. Bigelow.
00:40:16Always a pleasure.
00:40:18Mr. Thule, something terrible has happened.
00:40:20Yes, I know. Are these your friends,
00:40:22the police detectives?
00:40:24Got it right the first time, pups.
00:40:26We're looking for the man who takes deliveries
00:40:28from Dante Pharmaceuticals.
00:40:30You have found him. How may I help you?
00:40:32What did Dante send you?
00:40:36Nothing of any importance.
00:40:38Maybe more important than you think.
00:40:40Your friend takes one more step,
00:40:42he'll find himself dead.
00:40:44Death and death are both expressions
00:40:46of the same eternal spirit.
00:40:48You ought to write fortune cookies, pal.
00:40:50Let me illustrate.
00:40:56Aah!
00:41:14Aah!
00:41:38I don't know what it is,
00:41:40but suddenly I've lost my appetite.
00:41:42Aah!
00:41:54Motherfucker!
00:42:12That's it. From now on, I'm a vegetarian.
00:42:14All right.
00:42:16This little piggy's going to market.
00:42:20Oh, that's gross.
00:42:22Oh, God!
00:42:26Fuck!
00:42:28Aah!
00:42:30Aah!
00:42:32You're kidding.
00:42:34Just one shot?
00:42:36They're not all zombies, Doug.
00:42:42Aah!
00:42:52How do you fight this thing?
00:42:54Maybe we could drown it in A1 sauce.
00:43:02Oh, no.
00:43:12Aah!
00:43:42Aah!
00:44:12Okay.
00:44:14Now I'm gonna puke.
00:44:16Google's gone.
00:44:18Guy makes one hell of a diversion, doesn't he?
00:44:20Hey, you're hurt.
00:44:26Lady, I'm fucking dead.
00:44:32Oh, that doesn't give you the right to be rude.
00:44:42You know, you can never find anything good
00:44:44until you really trash a place.
00:44:46Stumbling over any clues, detectives?
00:44:58Zombie duck heads.
00:45:00What a concept.
00:45:02This could replace the whoopee cushion.
00:45:04Imagine what you could do with a search warrant.
00:45:06Hey, Doug.
00:45:08Doug.
00:45:10Doug.
00:45:16Look at this.
00:45:18Dates and initials.
00:45:20What do you think it means?
00:45:22I don't know, but that last one, APL,
00:45:24Arthur P. Loudermilk?
00:45:26My father?
00:45:28Oh, God, you're right.
00:45:30He died on June 12th.
00:45:32This is a list of death dates.
00:45:34These folks are all recently deceased.
00:45:36Who do you think they were?
00:45:38I don't know.
00:45:58You're quite the seamstress.
00:46:00Just hope it doesn't get infected.
00:46:04Yeah, well, I'll take my chances.
00:46:08What do you think?
00:46:14After you.
00:46:18Now, this is what a library looks like, huh?
00:46:20You know, I've never seen one of these things from the inside.
00:46:26Okay.
00:46:28These should cover the dates in question.
00:46:30I got dibs on March.
00:46:34It's amazing the people who died in the last three months
00:46:36never even heard of.
00:46:38Here's one.
00:46:40George Nelson Canfield, the denim king,
00:46:42inventor of sweat-to-fit blue jeans.
00:46:44Died February 12th.
00:46:46Oh, crap.
00:46:48What is it?
00:46:50The Lakers won yesterday, but they didn't make the point spread.
00:46:52They had ten bucks riding on that game.
00:46:54Here's another one.
00:46:56Oliver Lang,
00:46:58microchip wizard, March 4th.
00:47:00Here's another.
00:47:02Howard Davison, commodities broker, April 3rd.
00:47:04You see any pattern?
00:47:08They all sound like a bunch of wussies to me.
00:47:10Yes, and they all had a nice hunk of disposable cash
00:47:12when they kicked off.
00:47:14So, rich dead people, what does it mean?
00:47:16I'm not sure, but it looks like your father
00:47:18was one of the victims.
00:47:20That's crazy.
00:47:24Now, this is not what you'd call a routine case.
00:47:28I guess they can have their obituaries back.
00:47:34Hey, Rog, what's up, man?
00:47:36You look all freaked out all of a sudden.
00:47:40These obituaries.
00:47:42They're writing new ones all the time.
00:47:46They're writing mine.
00:47:48Hey, now, take it easy.
00:47:50Roger Mortis,
00:47:52beloved husband of nobody,
00:47:54father of none,
00:47:56who always thought he'd go out in a bleed,
00:47:58but he never did.
00:48:00Father of none,
00:48:02who always thought he'd go out
00:48:04in a blaze of glory.
00:48:06Roger.
00:48:08I gotta get out of here.
00:48:10Roger.
00:48:18Roger!
00:48:20Hey.
00:48:22Roger.
00:48:26Damn.
00:48:30Hey, Rog,
00:48:32that was quite a chase.
00:48:34Not bad for a guy in your condition.
00:48:36I guess being dead agrees with you.
00:48:40Come on, Rog,
00:48:42we don't got time for this.
00:48:50I can't do it.
00:48:54I can't live a lifetime in six hours.
00:48:56Nobody's got all the time they need, Roger.
00:48:58Nobody.
00:49:02You remember when we were in training?
00:49:04They always told us you can't be a good cop
00:49:06if you're a dead cop.
00:49:08Here's your chance to prove them wrong.
00:49:10You're good,
00:49:12and you're dead.
00:49:16I'm good, and I'm dead.
00:49:20Come on, Rog,
00:49:22let's go find those guys.
00:49:24Come on, Rog,
00:49:26let's go find those suckers and trash their ass, man.
00:49:30Come on, Rog.
00:49:32It's asses. It's plural.
00:49:34It's plural?
00:49:40You know what I heard once?
00:49:42What's that?
00:49:44I heard that the population of the world is so big now
00:49:46that half of all the people who ever lived
00:49:48are still alive today.
00:49:50Come on.
00:49:52If you took all the people who've died
00:49:54since the beginning of history
00:49:56and all the people who are alive right now,
00:49:58you'd be about the same number.
00:50:00So if anybody ever asked you
00:50:02when you're gonna die, you can just say,
00:50:04well, I don't know.
00:50:06So far, it's only half of the happiness.
00:50:08Not only that, if you multiply the population of Rhode Island
00:50:10by the square root of my ex-wife's weight...
00:50:16Well, you two sure know how to show a girl a good time.
00:50:18Don't mention it.
00:50:20I think I may have some good news.
00:50:22Rebecca Smithers, Randy James.
00:50:24Hello.
00:50:26Oh, you work here?
00:50:28Yes, actually, I do.
00:50:30Rebecca's an expert in all sorts of forensic pathology.
00:50:32My.
00:50:34What a unique accomplishment.
00:50:36Chillier than usual in here today.
00:50:38Wherever did you find the time
00:50:40to make such a nice little friend?
00:50:42Randy was head of P.R. for Dante Pharmaceuticals.
00:50:44I see.
00:50:46So what's the big news, Becky?
00:50:48Well...
00:50:50Some shirt. Unbutton it.
00:50:56Roger, you've been shot.
00:50:58Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you about that.
00:51:00It's amazing you lived as long as you did.
00:51:02So how are you feeling?
00:51:04Great. Picture of health.
00:51:06Subject mortis, comma, Roger.
00:51:08Post-mortem follow-up, July 6th.
00:51:10Approximate time, 1845.
00:51:12Do you have to talk into that thing?
00:51:14This is not an autopsy.
00:51:16Hey, Rog, you aren't dead.
00:51:18This is a morgue. She is a coroner.
00:51:20Thanks.
00:51:2287.2 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:51:24Since you died,
00:51:26you've been steadily cooling off.
00:51:28So what's the verdict?
00:51:30How long have I got not to live?
00:51:32Well, decomposition is progressing
00:51:34more rapidly than I'd hoped.
00:51:36It's even starting to show in your face.
00:51:38I'd say maybe three or four hours.
00:51:40What the hell am I doing here?
00:51:42Roger, I think I can buy you a chance.
00:51:44I found something in Dante's files
00:51:46about a special process they've been testing
00:51:48to extend the resurrection period beyond 12 hours.
00:51:50Can you guarantee that?
00:51:52No.
00:51:54Then I can't take that chance.
00:51:56Rebecca, it's my job.
00:51:58Your job? Christ!
00:52:00Haven't you learned anything?
00:52:02You spent ten years out on the street
00:52:04risking your neck,
00:52:06and now you're dead, and it's still not enough.
00:52:10Well, I guess I'm just a glutton for money.
00:52:12Well, I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment.
00:52:14So are you two. What's next?
00:52:16I'm gonna take a look at Loudermilk's grave.
00:52:18Why don't you pay a call on Loudermilk's lawyer?
00:52:20We'll hit the cemetery and meet your bag of ranties.
00:52:22Uh, if you don't mind,
00:52:24I think I'll skip the trip to my father's resting place.
00:52:26Oh, I mind very much.
00:52:28I want you where I can see you.
00:52:30Miss James?
00:52:34Chick Digsby. I could tell.
00:52:38I'm not giving up hope, Roger.
00:52:42You go ahead, man.
00:52:44I'll catch up with you later at Randy's.
00:52:46Okay.
00:52:52Hey, nice wheels.
00:52:54Must be a lot of money in carving up dead people.
00:52:56A little early for your post-mortem,
00:52:58aren't you, detective?
00:53:00Just stopped by to reserve a body bag.
00:53:02Oh, that's very good!
00:53:04Oh, that's...
00:53:06That's excellent.
00:53:08Oh, that's...
00:53:14I love that guy.
00:53:16I can tell.
00:53:32Just over there on the right, Roger.
00:53:34Maybe I should pick one out.
00:53:38I wonder if they take MasterCard.
00:53:46Nice place to spend the rest of your life.
00:53:48Swaying palms,
00:53:50the smell of jasmine,
00:53:52quiet neighbors.
00:53:54Very funny, Roger.
00:53:56Roger?
00:53:58What is it?
00:54:02Shooting star.
00:54:12So, now what?
00:54:14I haven't got a key.
00:54:16Allow me.
00:54:18I'll get it for you.
00:54:20So, now what?
00:54:22I haven't got a key.
00:54:24Allow me.
00:54:26Isn't that illegal?
00:54:28Yeah.
00:54:50Looks like he's resting comfortably.
00:54:56What's your real relationship
00:54:58with Loudermilk, Randy?
00:55:00What do you mean?
00:55:02Outside, it says,
00:55:04Arthur P. Loudermilk,
00:55:06beloved husband of Loretta.
00:55:08It doesn't mention any darling daughter.
00:55:20All right.
00:55:24I met him in the hospital.
00:55:28I was there for drug rehab,
00:55:30and he took me under his wing.
00:55:32The daughter he never had?
00:55:34Yeah.
00:55:36Yeah, and he got me that great house
00:55:38and set me up with a job at Dante,
00:55:40and I bet he never even knew
00:55:42what kind of snake hole he was dropping me into.
00:55:44So, this whole zombie thing
00:55:46came as a complete surprise to you?
00:55:48Yeah.
00:55:52Looks like he left something for us.
00:56:00Doug ought to be back by now.
00:56:12Oh, sweetheart.
00:56:14Doug must have got the TV on.
00:56:19I found George Reynolds, Mrs. Phillips.
00:56:21He's been dead for five months.
00:56:23He didn't steal the bill of sale.
00:56:25No, he didn't, but you could have stolen it.
00:56:27I'll see if he's in the kitchen.
00:56:29How dare you?
00:56:31You knew who I was when I came here today.
00:56:33You were surprised to see me alive, weren't you?
00:56:35But I'm not alive, Mrs. Phillips.
00:56:37Sure, I can stand here and talk to you.
00:56:39I can breathe and I can move, but I'm not alive,
00:56:41because I did take that poison,
00:56:43and nothing can save me.
00:56:45What are you going to do?
00:56:47I kill you now, I have nothing to lose.
00:56:49No, no, you've got to listen to me.
00:56:51You've got to give me a chance.
00:56:53But I didn't have a chance.
00:56:59Roger?
00:57:03It's Doug.
00:57:18Let's get him down.
00:57:43Randy?
00:57:46Randy?
00:57:50Sorry, Roger.
00:57:54I didn't want to tell you.
00:57:56I didn't think you'd understand.
00:57:58What are you talking about?
00:58:00I, uh...
00:58:03lied about the drugs.
00:58:08I was in the hospital because I was...
00:58:11dying, too.
00:58:16I was dead.
00:58:23What do you mean?
00:58:25They brought me back, Roger, just like you.
00:58:29Only they said I'd have a normal lifespan
00:58:31as long as I helped them.
00:58:37Helped who?
00:58:39They lied to me.
00:58:41Who, Randy?
00:58:45I don't know.
00:59:15I'm sorry, Roger.
00:59:45I'm sorry.
00:59:54I'm sorry, Roger.
00:59:58Please forgive me.
01:00:15Ugh!
01:00:17Ugh!
01:00:36Hello, this is Rebecca.
01:00:38Rebecca, listen.
01:00:40I'm not here to take your call, but leave me a message
01:00:42and I'll get back to you later on.
01:00:46Rebecca, Doug's dead.
01:00:50Randy's dead.
01:00:52I wish...
01:00:54Well, I wish...
01:01:10Wait a minute.
01:01:15Wait a minute.
01:01:24Namaste letters, namaste letters.
01:01:30A...
01:01:33O...
01:01:35D...
01:01:37Y...
01:01:39Body.
01:01:41Damn, that's it!
01:01:45Damn, that's it!
01:02:15Roger, what are you doing here?
01:02:17What do you think, McNabb?
01:02:19You've had to be more specific than that.
01:02:21Okay, you want specific, here it comes.
01:02:24You killed me.
01:02:26And you killed Doug. And maybe you didn't kill Randy,
01:02:28but you should have had the decency to let her stay dead.
01:02:30What on earth are you talking about?
01:02:32Revenge, McNabb.
01:02:34And you're on the receiving end unless you come up with some real fast answers.
01:02:37But this doesn't make any sense. I was helping you.
01:02:39I don't think so.
01:02:41Loudermilk's think tank built a machine for resurrecting people,
01:02:44and you've been trying it out, haven't you?
01:02:46That's absurd.
01:02:48Of course, Roger, you're losing your mind.
01:02:50Your brain is deteriorating.
01:02:52When you buried him alive, Loudermilk wanted to point the finger at you,
01:02:54but he was afraid to write his McNabb in case you came back and erased it.
01:02:57So he tried something just a little bit subtler.
01:02:59It's a coded message,
01:03:01using the numbers-to-letters scheme found on any telephone.
01:03:04Here's what it spells.
01:03:06Body Doc.
01:03:08Sounds a bit like you, doesn't it?
01:03:11Well, that's what happens when you die, Roger.
01:03:14Your synapses misfire, leading to all sorts of demented conclusions.
01:03:18My mind, McNabb, has never been sharper.
01:03:22Neither has my aim.
01:03:24Son of a bitch.
01:03:26How many others have you buried alive, McNabb?
01:03:29Canfield, the Blue Jeans King,
01:03:31Oliver Lang,
01:03:33Howard Preston.
01:03:35You take their money and you brick them up, is that it?
01:03:37That's a lie!
01:03:39Nice watch.
01:03:41Nice ring, too.
01:03:43I got a hell of a hunch if we wanted to,
01:03:45we could trace them both back to those Druey storeholders.
01:03:47Hey! Give me that!
01:03:49When you resurrected those robbers, you wanted to test them.
01:03:52So you sent them out to do what they do best,
01:03:54rob something.
01:03:56And when I stumbled onto all this, you murdered me.
01:03:58Circumstantial evidence. Wouldn't hold up in any court.
01:04:00I'm not waiting for any courts, McNabb.
01:04:02Roger, I can help you.
01:04:04Like you helped Randy James?
01:04:10Good evening, Doctor.
01:04:12Well, it's about time. Where the hell have you been?
01:04:14This bastard almost killed me.
01:04:16Give me my diamond ring.
01:04:18You see, Roger,
01:04:20every job has its little perks.
01:04:22It just takes a while to discover them.
01:04:24No amount of money is going to make up for what happens to you, McNabb.
01:04:28It seems our detective is in rather poor condition.
01:04:31Not as poor as you.
01:04:33Silence him.
01:04:39How do you wish this man killed?
01:04:42Roger, I've come to love you like a son.
01:04:44You're honest, trustworthy, dependable,
01:04:46like a friggin' Boy Scout.
01:04:52Ironic, isn't it, Roger?
01:04:54You're going to spend your last moments on Earth
01:04:56inches from freedom right here in front of the county morgue.
01:04:59For this very reason, Doctor, we should waste no time.
01:05:02Yeah, yeah, put him in the van, lock him to the side rail.
01:05:11I hope you don't mind sharing the bed space.
01:05:18Yes, I know it's a nuisance,
01:05:20but then Smithers was always a nuisance.
01:05:22I'll send you to hell, McNabb!
01:05:24You can't keep me here!
01:05:26This van is lined in stainless steel.
01:05:29Soundproof, in case you're thinking of calling for help.
01:05:32It's custom-made, the perfect place to disintegrate,
01:05:35which I figure will happen in precisely 45 minutes.
01:05:39Let's go, Doctor. We're expected back at the lab.
01:05:42Yes, yes, yes, get the door, get the door.
01:05:45Happy trails, Roger.
01:06:00Well, Rebecca, I always thought we'd end up together,
01:06:03but never like this.
01:06:30Rebecca?
01:06:34You and I...
01:06:40are going for a ride.
01:06:43A ride?
01:06:59A ride?
01:07:17Oh, wow. This is gonna be great.
01:07:29Holy shit!
01:07:32Oh, yeah!
01:07:59Whoa!
01:08:01Give me a hand, give me a hand.
01:08:03A little bit more line over here.
01:08:06Got it.
01:08:08People, you gotta stay back.
01:08:30Jesus H. Christ.
01:08:38Take it easy, mister. You're not well.
01:08:46Hold it.
01:08:48That's far enough.
01:08:59Detective Mortis, homicide.
01:09:02You're... you're a cop?
01:09:05Surprise.
01:09:08I need your gun, officer.
01:09:30Ladies and gentlemen,
01:09:32last week, all of us were shocked and saddened
01:09:35by the news of the untimely death of Arthur P. Loudermilk.
01:09:39I would like to take this opportunity
01:09:42to review his many accomplishments.
01:09:45He was a great man.
01:09:47He was a great man.
01:09:49He was a great man.
01:09:51He was a great man.
01:09:53He was a great man.
01:09:55He was a great man.
01:09:57But wait.
01:09:59Why not let Arthur tell you himself?
01:10:02Ladies and gentlemen, Arthur P. Loudermilk!
01:10:11Friends and associates,
01:10:14how nice to see you again.
01:10:16I saw you buried, Arthur.
01:10:18Dammit, I saw you buried!
01:10:20I'm afraid you have been misled, Walter.
01:10:24The man in my grave is a, um, volunteer,
01:10:28personally selected by Dr. McNabb.
01:10:32As you will see, ladies and gentlemen,
01:10:34the demonstration that you are about to witness
01:10:36makes burial somewhat unnecessary.
01:10:41Did you become the world's largest jet manufacturer
01:10:58just so that you could leave your fortune
01:11:00to a wolf pack of scavenging relatives?
01:11:04Gertrude Bellman, are you prepared
01:11:07to become a memorial plaque on the cornerstone
01:11:09of a library building?
01:11:11We all die, Arthur.
01:11:13Rest assured, Gertrude, that you can afford not to.
01:11:18How many of those rich bozos do you suppose
01:11:20he's got in there tonight, huh?
01:11:22Isn't it frustrating?
01:11:24All of that money, all of that raw power
01:11:27just within your grasp, and then it's all gone, poof.
01:11:31Suddenly, you're six foot under, and the mob of money
01:11:35grabbing nobodies are devouring all that is yours,
01:11:38like rodents after a lump of cheese.
01:11:41Isn't it sad?
01:11:43Everybody dies, rich and poor.
01:11:45Death doesn't discriminate, at least not until now.
01:11:49This is ridiculous.
01:11:51Well, let's face it.
01:11:53Poor people are supposed to die, but the same rule
01:11:57doesn't apply to us.
01:11:58We're rich.
01:11:59God wants us to live forever.
01:12:02And even if he doesn't, we can always buy him off.
01:12:06It'll cost all of you half of your fortune.
01:12:09But you have forever to make it back.
01:12:11What the fuck is that?
01:12:29Fuck!
01:12:42Think of what I'm offering, sir.
01:12:44Life without end.
01:12:45Your personal savings compounded daily
01:12:48for a million glorious years.
01:12:50What's your gimmick, Arthur?
01:12:53No gimmick.
01:12:54Eternal life.
01:12:55Bullshit.
01:12:56Well, I know that it's absurd, impossible,
01:12:59but aside from the proof of my being here,
01:13:02I've planned for you a very graphic little demonstration.
01:13:06This man has been dead for a million years.
01:13:11And he's been dead for hours.
01:13:14Come on, inspect him for yourself.
01:13:23Sit down.
01:13:25Well, now that you are satisfied
01:13:26with this poor man's unfortunate condition,
01:13:29I would like to treat you to a little product demonstration.
01:13:34Dr. McNabb, if you would.
01:13:36Of course.
01:13:37This model incorporates all of our most advanced refinements.
01:13:40It will give you eternal life without any limitations.
01:14:41That's okay, don't get up.
01:14:45Get him, get him, get him!
01:14:56Help me!
01:14:57Get him! Get him! Get him!
01:15:10I told you not to get up.
01:15:12I know.
01:15:27Let's go.
01:15:28I'm going down.
01:15:55What do you want?
01:15:56Not you, old man. I want him.
01:16:00You're dead, McNabb. You're even deader than I am.
01:16:03Oh, I don't think so.
01:16:06Doug.
01:16:12Doug, you're alive.
01:16:14He can't understand a word you said, Roger.
01:16:16He's been brain-dead too long,
01:16:18which means that he's mindless and totally obedient.
01:16:22Kill this guy, would you?
01:16:25Kill this guy, would you?
01:16:27Now, Doug, stop. Doug, it's me. It's me, Roger.
01:16:30Kill this guy, would you?
01:16:31Doug, Doug, don't. Kill this guy.
01:16:33Doug, would you?
01:16:38Hey, Doug, do you realize that we both have the same death day?
01:16:42Doug, you know what we could do? We could throw a death day party.
01:16:45We could invite all our friends, get really ripped.
01:16:48Well, do something.
01:16:49Kill him. Kill him, you brain-dead son of a bitch.
01:16:53Doug, remember the lipstick?
01:16:56Mulberry wine brings out my eyes.
01:17:01Roger?
01:17:04Roger!
01:17:08Hiya, Doug. Welcome to Zombieland.
01:17:14Roger, he said I should...
01:17:18He said I should hurt you.
01:17:21But I'm gonna hurt him.
01:17:25Kill that guy, would you?
01:17:27Oh, no.
01:17:37Kill him! Why can't you kill him?
01:17:40Shut up, you fart!
01:17:51Oh, no, you bastards aren't gonna take me.
01:17:56You cheated me.
01:18:00Goddamn you, McNabb, you cheated me!
01:18:04It's over, Rog. Forget it, man.
01:18:10Not just yet.
01:18:20Not yet.
01:18:40Hi, Doug.
01:18:42You wanna see what happens when you resurrect somebody twice?
01:18:45Not really.
01:18:50Oh, no! No!
01:18:59No, wait. Save the machine.
01:19:02It's short-circuiting. We can fix it.
01:19:05I can make you normal again. Immortal.
01:19:08I'll give you anything you want.
01:19:10Money, power, eternal life,
01:19:13riches beyond your wildest dreams,
01:19:16to save the machine.
01:19:20No!
01:19:30No! No! Stop! Stop!
01:19:35Wait. Wait. You don't understand.
01:19:38You live forever. Forever!
01:19:45Man, Roger, you are a mess.
01:19:47I've seen meatloaf that looks better than you.
01:19:49You're not exactly a forest-lawn poster child yourself, Doug.
01:19:53Hey, we really trashed our ass, didn't we?
01:19:56That's asses, Roger.
01:19:59Hey, Roger, think we'll be reincarnated?
01:20:01As what?
01:20:03I don't know. Maybe you get a choice. You can be whatever you want.
01:20:05Oh, you mean like a statesman or a president or a prize-winning novelist?
01:20:08Personally, I'd like to come back as the seat on a girl's bike.
01:20:11Now, that is truly inspiring.
01:20:15You know, Doug? What's that?
01:20:17This could be the end of a beautiful friendship.
01:20:47You'll never see the finish line
01:20:50It's a dead heat
01:20:53In a razor against time
01:20:58You don't wanna cash it in
01:21:00With your life on the line
01:21:04You're in a dead heat
01:21:07In a toothless car
01:21:11If you don't get there first
01:21:14You won't get there at all
01:21:16You're running in a dead heat
01:21:31You're not an exit on the road
01:21:35You got no place to hide
01:21:38But if you crash and burn
01:21:41At least you might enjoy the ride
01:21:44So push a little to the right
01:21:48And watch the world go by
01:21:51You know you can't slow down
01:21:54You either speed it up or die
01:21:57You're in a dead heat
01:22:00And your key's losing ground
01:22:05The devil is closing fast
01:22:07Better not turn around
01:22:09Better not turn around
01:22:12It's a dead heat
01:22:15But no one really cares
01:22:20Nobody said that life was gonna be fair
01:22:25Keep running in a dead heat
01:22:32Keep running in a dead heat
01:22:39Keep running in a dead heat
01:22:46You're in a dead heat
01:22:53You're in a dead heat
01:23:09You're in a dead heat
01:23:21It's a dead heat
01:23:24In a resonance time
01:23:28If you don't wanna cash it in
01:23:30With your life on the line