"Torture talaga."
Ganyan inilarawan ng 80s pop star na si Timmy Cruz ang malaking dagok sa kaniyang buhay na naging dahilan sa kaniyang pansamantalang hiatus sa showbiz noon.
Sa panayam niya kay Nelson Canlas, ikinuwento rin ng famous "Boy" singer na dahil isa siya sa pinaka-in demand na mang-aawit noon, marami rin daw ang pumuna at gustong magpabagsak sa kaniya.
Ganyan inilarawan ng 80s pop star na si Timmy Cruz ang malaking dagok sa kaniyang buhay na naging dahilan sa kaniyang pansamantalang hiatus sa showbiz noon.
Sa panayam niya kay Nelson Canlas, ikinuwento rin ng famous "Boy" singer na dahil isa siya sa pinaka-in demand na mang-aawit noon, marami rin daw ang pumuna at gustong magpabagsak sa kaniya.
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NewsTranscript
00:00You were actually a pop star that time. How did that feel like?
00:04The song became popular in Davao first, not in Metro Manila.
00:13South, it became a monster hit in Davao and Cebu.
00:19So I did a lot of promo there first and then it went to Manila.
00:23When it hit there, Manila followed.
00:26And then one day, when I was promoting one TV show after another,
00:31my driver said,
00:33Ma'am, open the windows, he said.
00:37EDSA, G, taxi, all the windows were open.
00:42My song was playing on the whole EDSA.
00:48And so when that was going on, I was very thankful.
00:52All I did was say thank you because during that time,
00:55a lot more people came up to put me down.
00:59I was being questioned at that time because firstly, I'm not a singer.
01:04I told you, I'm not a singer.
01:07My background is business.
01:09Others are really singers.
01:10You were gone for around 7 or 8 years for your self-care.
01:16Tell me, Ms. Timmy, what was the reason for your hiatus from showbiz?
01:21While I was resting in my farm in Tagaytay,
01:26I felt this thunderbolt.
01:29Boom!
01:30I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something.
01:32It really hurt.
01:34So I said, I was stopped.
01:37I said, am I having a heart attack?
01:39That is scary.
01:40You know those words that pause for a while and then,
01:46I have to see you.
01:47I said, we've been seeing each other for so long.
01:50You're my doctor for so long.
01:52I'm a big girl.
01:55And then she said to me, it's the C-word.
02:00Oh.
02:02It's the C-word.
02:08Hello, updaters and welcome to my podcast,
02:11updated with Nelson Canlas, your source for the latest showbiz updates.
02:15Our guest today is a legit 80s pop star
02:20who is behind OPM songs like Boy, Tingin, and Choke Lang.
02:26If you're an 80s denizen, if you are from the 80s,
02:30then you're definitely related to this show.
02:34And now, he's back on television
02:36in the new GMA Murder Mystery Drama Series, Widow's War.
02:41Please welcome, and it's my pride to welcome,
02:45Miss Timmy Cruz.
02:46Wow. Thank you so much, Nelson.
02:49I'm happy to be joining your podcast.
02:52Yes.
02:52It's so nice to meet you, you know.
02:54I was just looking at you during the launch of Widow's War.
03:01And I couldn't get close because I was really starstruck.
03:06I'm an 80s baby and come on,
03:08your songs have been my anthem for like, you know,
03:13for like, the longest time when I was in my teenage years.
03:16How are you, Miss Timmy?
03:18I'm doing very well, and I'm really happy to be here now.
03:22And I'm happy to be back in showbiz.
03:24It's been a long, long time,
03:27and it is worth the wait for sure.
03:30I really want to ask you this.
03:33Like, I told you, right?
03:35Boy, Tingin, and our friends were always singing
03:40song hits back then, and somebody would play the guitar
03:44and then cassette, cassette.
03:47And I was like, I mean, how was it at that time that,
03:52you know, you're actually,
03:55you were actually a pop star that time.
03:58It was, I would say, you were in a, you have a dream.
04:04You have a dream, this big, big dream.
04:07How are you going to achieve this dream, right?
04:10Because I didn't have any relatives in showbiz.
04:13I didn't know anyone in showbiz.
04:16I just had this dream.
04:18I want to be a recording artist.
04:20Imagine, I was dreaming this since I was a kid,
04:25since I was a kid.
04:26But my parents wanted me to study business,
04:30and they wanted me to study law.
04:32And then I decided to go into showbiz.
04:35So my background was business, law.
04:38Then I went into music.
04:40I had no acquaintance, no acquaintance, absolutely.
04:44It was a one-shot deal.
04:45It was like, it's up to you.
04:47Yeah, it's up to you.
04:48Let's, you know, let's go for it.
04:49Shoot for the moon.
04:51Then one day, I was in a recording studio.
04:55This guy approaches me and says to me,
04:59are you Timmy Cruz?
05:01And then I'm kind of scared because I didn't know him.
05:03I said, yeah, I am.
05:05And he said, I have a song for you.
05:09He said to me, after you—
05:11I was recording for Penthouse Live.
05:13Do you remember?
05:14Yes, of course, Penthouse Live.
05:16Yes, of course, I was recording.
05:17I was going to substitute as a host
05:20because Pops was sick.
05:22So they got me.
05:23That was my first exposure.
05:25And this man saw me in that Penthouse Live.
05:29And as soon as he saw me, he said
05:31he wanted to give me this song.
05:33So he said to me, after the recording,
05:35go to my office.
05:37So it was the Green Hills Sound—
05:39Green Hills Recording Studio.
05:42So I went to his office,
05:43he played it, and then
05:46ta-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
05:49That was just the intro.
05:51And then I listened to the song.
05:52I didn't know anything about songs.
05:54I just knew I wanted to sing.
05:56And I said to him,
05:58can I have this tape?
05:59And I let my manager listen to it.
06:02His name is Mondo Rosario,
06:04the famous—
06:06the one, the only.
06:08I was talking to him, yeah.
06:10So I took the tape home,
06:12and I played it to my manager,
06:14Sandra Chavez of Artist House.
06:17So it was just the intro.
06:19Just the intro.
06:20There were no lyrics yet.
06:22There were no words yet.
06:24This is the song for you.
06:27I said to them,
06:29because there were a lot of people listening,
06:31I said, how do you know?
06:32You haven't even listened to the entire song.
06:34But this is the song.
06:36Then they listened to the entire song.
06:38And then they said,
06:39we're going to change the title.
06:41Because the title was in English.
06:43The title was,
06:44If You Only Knew.
06:46If You Only Knew.
06:47Kung Alam Mo Lang.
06:48That's part of the—
06:49That's part of the lyric.
06:50Yes.
06:51They said,
06:52we're going to change it to Boy.
06:55Boy.
06:56And they said,
06:57because in all the households
06:59in the entire Philippines,
07:00there's always a boy.
07:02Boy.
07:03Boy.
07:04Right?
07:05People call it like,
07:06Boy like this,
07:07Boy like that.
07:09And then after that,
07:11I have never been in a recording studio before.
07:14A few,
07:16maybe two months after,
07:18recording already.
07:20Never seen a microphone before.
07:23Never,
07:24never been in a recording studio.
07:27Never seen anything like it before.
07:30I enter.
07:32And I'm in the mic,
07:33in the studio,
07:34in the booth with a mic,
07:35and then headset and everything.
07:39And so many critiques,
07:41producer this,
07:42producer that.
07:43You know,
07:44a manager,
07:45so many people.
07:46And then,
07:47you know,
07:48you sing one line and they go,
07:49stop, stop, stop.
07:50Again, again, again.
07:51Stop, stop, stop.
07:52Again, again, again.
07:53And then,
07:54inside my mind,
07:55I was telling myself,
07:56What did you go through?
07:58It's so hard.
08:01What did you do?
08:03You're already here,
08:04but it's so hard.
08:05Can you do this?
08:06That's what I told myself.
08:08You can do this.
08:09This is what you want.
08:10You can do this.
08:11Five hours.
08:13So recorded that song for five hours.
08:16Because at that time,
08:17there was nothing.
08:18You're not like now,
08:19you can do digital, right?
08:21You just put it in,
08:22erase and delete.
08:23Before that,
08:24you really had to complete it.
08:26Complete it.
08:27So if you made a mistake,
08:28you have to repeat it.
08:29Yeah, you have to repeat.
08:31So,
08:32I sat through five hours
08:34and then I went home
08:35and I told myself,
08:36Oh, wow.
08:38Whatever that was,
08:40it is the hardest thing
08:41that I've ever done.
08:43Did you know, Miss Timi,
08:44that until now,
08:46it still has played,
08:48it's still being played
08:49on the radio?
08:51Yes, it is.
08:52It still has airtime.
08:54It still has airtime.
08:55It's still there.
08:56Anywhere I go,
08:58people sing it to me.
09:01I can sing it to you
09:02from start to finish.
09:04You know, in fact,
09:06on the same breath,
09:07when I entered surgery,
09:10when the residents
09:12and the other doctors
09:13found out that it was me,
09:15my doctor said,
09:16I was already asleep at that time
09:18when I was wheeled in,
09:20they were singing my song.
09:23How did that feel like?
09:26And then so I was like,
09:27Wow.
09:28It was goosebumps.
09:30Goosebumps.
09:31And then,
09:32when the song became famous,
09:33the song became famous
09:35in Davao first.
09:37Really?
09:38Not in Metro Manila.
09:39Really?
09:40Not in Metro Manila.
09:41South.
09:42It became a monster hit
09:45in Davao and Cebu.
09:46So I did a lot of promo there first
09:48and then it went to Manila
09:50when it hit there.
09:52Then Manila followed.
09:54And then one day,
09:55when I was promoting
09:56one TV show after another,
09:59my driver said,
10:00Ma'am, open the window.
10:03He said that.
10:04EDSA, G, taxi.
10:07All the windows were open.
10:10My song was playing
10:13on the whole EDSA.
10:16As you were traversing EDSA,
10:18you could really hear it.
10:20You could hear it
10:21because it was full blast.
10:22Full blast.
10:23That's the point, right?
10:24That's not allowed now.
10:26But before,
10:27the jeeps,
10:28their speakers were really loud.
10:30Yes.
10:31Full blast.
10:32And my song was playing
10:33and then all the way
10:35going to the studio
10:36where we were going,
10:37I could hear my song.
10:39And then,
10:40my dream flashed back
10:42on how I was going to do it
10:44and how I was going to do it.
10:46Where did I come from?
10:48But I want to know,
10:50for somebody to see that
10:54or to hear that,
10:57it's really going to put you
10:58in a pedestal.
11:00But how did you ground yourself?
11:02How did you tell yourself,
11:04Wait.
11:05I was never that way.
11:08I mean,
11:09I've always been on the ground.
11:10Always been.
11:11Because first of all,
11:12as I said,
11:13I'm a nature lover.
11:15And that helped me.
11:17I love touching the soil.
11:19I love getting dirty.
11:21I mean,
11:22I do the dirty work.
11:23I don't like to be parang prinsesa.
11:26And even up to now,
11:27even up to now,
11:28I don't like to be prinsesa.
11:30Even if I can afford things.
11:32No, I can't.
11:33I can't be that way.
11:34I want to feel.
11:35I want to be alive.
11:37And so,
11:38when that was going on,
11:39I was very thankful.
11:41All I did was say thank you.
11:42Because during that time,
11:44a lot more people came up
11:46to put me down.
11:48While there were people
11:49who were complimenting me.
11:50Typical showbiz.
11:51Yeah, typical, typical.
11:52There were a lot who came up.
11:54And there were people
11:55who actually pointed finger at me.
11:58Telling me that
12:01you're not worthy
12:02of what you're going through.
12:04All this beautiful stuff
12:05that's happening to you.
12:06You're not worthy of it.
12:08We question it.
12:09Stuff like that.
12:10I tell myself,
12:12you know,
12:13we're all different, right?
12:15Because I was being questioned
12:17at that time.
12:18Because,
12:19firstly, I'm not a singer.
12:21I told you,
12:22I'm really not a singer.
12:24My background is business.
12:26Others are really singers.
12:28From when you were young.
12:29Yes, yes.
12:30You joined contests.
12:32Stuff like that.
12:33So, it's so far.
12:35Suddenly, out of nowhere,
12:37you're there
12:38and you have a hit song.
12:39We were there.
12:40Coloratura,
12:41stuff like that.
12:42We studied it.
12:43We came from a band.
12:44We came from a band.
12:45Then,
12:46that's how it was.
12:47So,
12:48I became more humble.
12:50I became more, you know,
12:51I became more quiet.
12:53I became more like that.
12:55So, while I was doing that,
12:56I became more arrogant.
12:58So,
12:59that's what happened.
13:00That's why I learned a lot.
13:01But that was a
13:02massive,
13:03massive hit.
13:05Yeah.
13:06That was such a hit.
13:07Such a hit.
13:08And then,
13:09after that,
13:10I just followed the joke.
13:11Yeah.
13:12Do you remember the joke?
13:13Yes, of course.
13:14Of course.
13:15So, by that time…
13:16What was the first one?
13:17Tingin or Joke Lang?
13:18Joke Lang.
13:19Tingin was the third.
13:20Tingin was the third.
13:21Joke Lang.
13:22But it's like
13:23it's going to be close.
13:24Yes, it's going to be close.
13:25So,
13:26I followed it.
13:27So,
13:28that was a few years.
13:29A few years.
13:30And then,
13:31I went crazy
13:32becoming an artist.
13:33I'm not an artist.
13:36So,
13:37then,
13:38I found out
13:39that I was an artist.
13:41So,
13:42everything was unearthed.
13:45It was unearthed.
13:46Around seven
13:48or eight years,
13:49you were gone
13:50for your self-care.
13:52Tell me,
13:53Miss Timmy,
13:54what was the reason
13:55that you hated showbiz?
13:57Well, actually,
13:58I was doing a teleserie
14:00at that time,
14:012016.
14:03The teleserie
14:04for GMA
14:05was,
14:06the title was
14:07Once Again.
14:08Then,
14:09in one of our scenes,
14:10we were in a hospital.
14:12My son was in the teleserie,
14:15Jerry Gonzalez.
14:17He was sick.
14:18And then,
14:19while we were there,
14:20we were doing a scene,
14:21I suddenly thought
14:22that I should get a checkup.
14:24I had a five-hour vacation
14:26at that time.
14:27They said
14:28I could leave the set.
14:29So,
14:30I left the set
14:31and I decided
14:32to go to the hospital.
14:33Which is nearby
14:34to have a checkup.
14:35My doctor said
14:36I wasn't due
14:37for a checkup yet.
14:38So,
14:39I waited for another two weeks
14:40to have a checkup.
14:41And then,
14:42I had my
14:43usual annual checkup,
14:45which included the breast.
14:47And,
14:48I had my mammogram
14:50and my sonogram
14:51and they found something.
14:54I'm smiling right now.
14:55I'm smiling right now.
14:57Pero,
14:58they found something.
15:00And so,
15:01I had to have
15:02more tests,
15:03ultrasound again.
15:04And then,
15:05my doctor,
15:06who does my ultrasound,
15:07immediately said
15:09that we need to biopsy
15:11whatever we found.
15:12So,
15:13they found something
15:14in my breast.
15:15It's very small,
15:16super small
15:17because the peppercorn is big.
15:19You know the pepper
15:20that you crush, right?
15:21Yes.
15:22It's that small.
15:23So,
15:24you can't really feel it.
15:25But,
15:26within the coming weeks,
15:27while I was resting
15:29in my farm
15:30in Tagaytay,
15:32I felt this
15:33thunderbolt.
15:35Boom!
15:36I thought I was going to have
15:37a heart attack or something.
15:39It really hurt.
15:40So,
15:41I said,
15:42I stopped.
15:43I said,
15:44am I having a heart attack?
15:45So,
15:46I sat down
15:47and I prayed
15:48and I meditated for a while.
15:50I said,
15:51Lord,
15:52what's going on here?
15:53So,
15:54I felt it,
15:55but it disappeared.
15:56Then,
15:57a few days after,
15:58I felt it again.
16:00Then,
16:01I told the doctor,
16:02I think we need to do
16:03that biopsy
16:04whatever it is
16:05because
16:06I felt something.
16:07So,
16:08I had a biopsy
16:09and after the biopsy,
16:10a few days after,
16:11my doctor called.
16:13Normally,
16:14what he does
16:15when I have a checkup
16:16is he just calls me
16:17and says,
16:18are you okay?
16:19Okay,
16:20next year again.
16:21This and that.
16:22Be sure you take care of yourself
16:23and everything.
16:24But,
16:25this time,
16:26when he called me,
16:27he told me
16:29I have to see you.
16:33That is scary.
16:35Yeah, I know.
16:36You know those words
16:37that pause for a while
16:40and then
16:41I have to see you.
16:43It was a weekend at that time.
16:46So,
16:47Saturday.
16:48So, when I say,
16:49I have to see you,
16:50I'll wait until Sunday
16:51and then we'll meet on Monday.
16:53Something like that.
16:54That's so much torture.
16:55It's really torture.
16:57So, I told him,
16:59tell me now.
17:00I said,
17:01tell me now.
17:02He doesn't want to talk.
17:04He doesn't want to talk.
17:06I said,
17:07we've been seeing each other
17:08for so long.
17:09You're my doctor for so long.
17:11I'm a big girl.
17:12I said that.
17:13I'm a big girl.
17:14And then,
17:15she said to me,
17:16it's the C word,
17:17she said.
17:21It's the C word,
17:22she said.
17:23So, you know,
17:24when you hear that,
17:26the world just comes crashing down
17:29and all the optimism,
17:31which I really have,
17:33you know,
17:34I don't know,
17:35in that one moment.
17:37So,
17:38I saw her the following Monday
17:40and she explained to me everything
17:42and the works that I have to do,
17:45all the medical stuff and everything.
17:48And but between that time,
17:50you know,
17:51I sat down with myself
17:53and I said to myself,
17:55if it is what it is,
17:57you just have to accept it.
17:59That's what I said to myself.
18:01So,
18:02my mind was already there,
18:04like,
18:05that's really how it is.
18:07And all these thoughts coming in
18:09and part of it,
18:10of course,
18:11is the fear,
18:12you know.
18:13It's such a big,
18:14big fact.
18:15When she said that word,
18:16I was really scared.
18:17Definitely.
18:18And whatever,
18:19yeah,
18:20and whatever guard you have,
18:22whatever strength,
18:23physical,
18:24emotional,
18:25intellectual,
18:26whatever,
18:27goes away.
18:28It just goes away.
18:30And you're like a little girl there,
18:32helpless and
18:33like the rug was removed.
18:35Scared.
18:36The rug was removed
18:38and there was no support,
18:39you know.
18:40There was no support.
18:41I was just floating
18:43in the next few days and weeks
18:45until I,
18:46you know,
18:47composed myself
18:49and to gather whatever
18:51thoughts I have
18:52and,
18:53you know,
18:54I aligned myself
18:55so it's just
18:56one direction
18:57and I told myself,
18:58you just take it
18:59one moment at a time.
19:02Meaning,
19:03the hours,
19:04you break it down
19:05into minutes
19:06and the minutes,
19:07you break it down
19:08into moments,
19:09really.
19:10So that you just stay there.
19:11Just stay here.
19:12Don't let your mind wander
19:13if not,
19:14you will reach
19:15everywhere
19:16and everything
19:17you can think of.
19:18But you know,
19:19Miss Timmy,
19:20to say those words,
19:21it is what it is,
19:23it takes a lot of courage.
19:25Right?
19:26Because when you say
19:27it is what it is,
19:28you accept
19:29and you're ready
19:30to face it head on.
19:32What was going
19:33through your mind?
19:35The only word
19:36that went inside my mind
19:37was death.
19:38Hmm.
19:39Death, you know.
19:40It was a death sentence.
19:41Yeah,
19:42it was a death sentence.
19:43Extreme.
19:44You go totally extreme
19:45and your mind just goes,
19:47hey, why are you crazy
19:48and you're crying
19:49and you're asking questions
19:50and stuff like that.
19:52But then,
19:53you know,
19:54there's a part of me,
19:55the larger part of me
19:57is the stable one,
20:00you know,
20:01the one who says,
20:02pause muna,
20:03relax muna.
20:04That's really who I am.
20:07So when I was able
20:08to compose myself,
20:09in other words,
20:10buwelo ka muna
20:11ng pinaka gusto,
20:12stop everything.
20:14Nagpaalam ako sa teleserye,
20:17sabi ko,
20:18this is what happened.
20:19And I have to deal with it talaga.
20:23So they understood everything
20:25and they helped me out.
20:26So they eased out my character
20:28so that I was able to focus
20:30on my medical situation.
20:33So that's what I did.
20:35And then, of course,
20:36what really helped me was
20:38I've been a meditator since 2020.
20:42So I've been meditating
20:44and I've been very spiritual.
20:47But in an incognito kind of way,
20:50I mean,
20:51it's just my personal journey.
20:53I don't really announce it to everyone.
20:55But because of my being a meditator,
20:58I was able to gather my thoughts.
21:00And that's what's really important
21:01is to gather your thoughts
21:03and make sure
21:04that whatever you're thinking
21:05is really positive
21:08and energetic
21:09and pure and powerful.
21:11And I deleted
21:13all those other thoughts,
21:15the thoughts that make me scared
21:17and afraid
21:18and make me want to scream and shout.
21:21What did you do to yourself
21:24so that you could say,
21:26no, I'm going to fight this face-on?
21:28Of course, I cried first.
21:30I cried first.
21:32And whatever the fear was,
21:34just scare yourself.
21:36I scared myself.
21:37I felt all the fear.
21:39And it was really super dramatic
21:43and emotional.
21:44There were maybe a few days
21:46where I really couldn't move.
21:49I couldn't walk.
21:50When you're walking,
21:51it's like you're going to fall.
21:53I didn't think about the loss.
21:55I didn't think about the loss
21:57because I've been living my life
21:59to the fullest and to the best.
22:02I didn't think about that.
22:04All I thought about was
22:06you're going to disappear.
22:08You're going to disappear.
22:09It's over.
22:10This is it.
22:11You're this age
22:12and this is the end of your life.
22:13That's what I thought.
22:14I'm scared.
22:16And then I'm going to die.
22:18Which is very scary to most of us.
22:21To everyone.
22:22I mean, really,
22:23death is something
22:24that we don't want to go through, right?
22:26We just want to live forever
22:27and be young forever.
22:29But at this time,
22:31the Lord told me,
22:33you're going to die.
22:34And even if,
22:35especially when you talk to your siblings,
22:37your friends,
22:38the more they talk to you,
22:39the more you'll feel
22:41like you're going to die.
22:43This is the end of the line for you.
22:46Okay?
22:47Something like that.
22:48The reason why I'm asking you all this is
22:51you know, this conversation,
22:53this topic is really,
22:54really close to my heart.
22:56And okay,
22:57I will share with you a story.
22:59I'm not going to sugarcoat anything,
23:01but this is a true story.
23:03Okay, my mom
23:05always had,
23:08well, she's old.
23:10Well, mom,
23:11I'm not saying you're old,
23:12but you're older.
23:13She would always have a mammogram every year
23:15until there was a pandemic,
23:18there was a lockdown,
23:19so she wasn't able to do it for a year
23:22because what was allowed in hospitals in the U.S.
23:26was the COVID cases.
23:30So when the time came
23:33for a checkup,
23:34she had a mammogram.
23:36And then she found out
23:37that she had stage 2,
23:40I think going 3,
23:42breast cancer.
23:44And none of our kids knew
23:47that time that she had it.
23:50And the only time we knew was
23:55she came home straight from a mastectomy.
24:00Can you believe it?
24:03Nobody knew she had a mastectomy.
24:06And she was still high on the anesthesia.
24:10And she had to go to the bathroom,
24:12and then she fell down.
24:13And then, of course, it scared my sister,
24:15and she called me,
24:16and she was crying,
24:17and she was hysterical.
24:18And then I got to talk to my mom.
24:21Because when I asked my mom,
24:24she doesn't filter.
24:28And then I found out,
24:31why did you have a surgery?
24:35She said at the time,
24:36the surgery was still an installment.
24:40Okay.
24:41So until we found out
24:44that she had a mastectomy,
24:45and the only reason why she had a mastectomy
24:48was she had cancer.
24:51Right.
24:52And then I was so angry at that time.
24:55I told her,
24:56why didn't you tell anyone?
24:57Why didn't you tell?
24:58That's why I'm asking you all these questions.
25:00I want to understand.
25:03But at that time,
25:06what I called her was,
25:08that is a stupid thing to do.
25:11Right, right.
25:12You know, being the strong person that my mom is,
25:16and she doesn't want to worry anyone.
25:18Okay.
25:19The only answer she gave me at that time was,
25:21will I get better if I tell you?
25:23Wow.
25:25Wow.
25:26Saludo.
25:27Interesting.
25:29How is she now?
25:32She's three years off cancer.
25:37Alright.
25:38I think it's five years, right?
25:39Something like that.
25:40Five years for you to say you're really cancer-free.
25:43But she's, I think, on her third year
25:45and going on fourth year.
25:47Oh, wow.
25:48Great.
25:49Saludo to your mom, right?
25:52Saludo to your mom.
25:53She's one hell of a brave woman.
25:55I mean, silly, stupid.
25:58A bit silly that way.
26:00Who does that?
26:01Who does that?
26:02I told her that.
26:03Ma, who does that?
26:04Who does have a mastectomy and not tell anyone?
26:08It was just between her and the doctor.
26:10She said, you'll just have to worry.
26:12She said, if I tell you, I won't get better.
26:15So might as well just tell you when I'm healed.
26:19I said, wow.
26:20So at that time, did you know that you were going to heal?
26:25What if not?
26:26She said, no, I know I'll get better.
26:29And I'm just going to tell you.
26:31Pagtapos na.
26:32Oh, I want to meet your mom.
26:35Amazing.
26:36She's still very strong.
26:37She went through chemo.
26:39She went through, you know, nalugas yung buhok niya and all.
26:43And I had to buy her wigs.
26:45And she grew her hair.
26:46And she's loving it now.
26:48Amazing.
26:49Kasi mas maganda raw yung tubo ng buhok niya ngayon and all.
26:52Parang ganyan.
26:53But, you know, going back to those times.
26:55Yes.
26:57The whole family was very scared.
27:01Only because we didn't know.
27:04Exactly.
27:05Wow.
27:06And, you know, when I talk to her now, it's like I ask her, I want to be able to understand.
27:14Why did you have to keep it from us?
27:18Yes.
27:19I think there are different kinds of mentalities of women.
27:24And I have seen women who are like that.
27:28In my part, I'm not like that.
27:31Because in my family, I'm close to my family.
27:35And I like to share things with my family and my friends, you know.
27:40And I ask for prayers from everyone.
27:42I'm just that way.
27:44But there are some people who don't like to announce whatever, especially if it's cancer.
27:50Especially if it's cancer.
27:52Because it feels like something really, really bad and wrong.
27:57So those are the different mentalities, I think.
28:01Because I have friends who also get sick and don't tell anybody about it.
28:05As opposed to somebody like Meena.
28:08I have cancer.
28:11And I'm going to face it.
28:13Basically, that's how I did it.
28:15And I didn't want to hide it from anybody or even Sashobi.
28:19But I didn't talk about it until after.
28:22And then in one of our conversations, she asked me,
28:26I really felt anger.
28:29I really felt betrayed that time.
28:32I mean, your mom's not telling you something big as this one, right?
28:35Exactly, yeah.
28:36So she just asked me,
28:39Why are you scared I'm going to die?
28:41I said, you know, Ma, the truth of the matter is, I'm not scared.
28:48I mean, of people ahead of me to go on ahead.
28:53Mas takot akong mamatay before you.
28:56Because it's going to give you grief that you cannot fathom.
29:01Yes.
29:02In the scheme of life, mauuna ka talaga, sabi ko sa kanya.
29:05Mauuna ka.
29:06Pero what I'm scared now is, if you have not lived your life,
29:15if you go and not have lived your life, that scares the S out of me.
29:22Are you really happy with your life?
29:24And what did she say?
29:27Sabi niya naman, masaya naman daw siya.
29:30So parang yun, yun lang yung concern ko.
29:33I mean, of course, we wanted our parents to live forever.
29:43Pero, of course, in the real scheme of things,
29:46they're going to go at some point.
29:49Pero sabi ko naman, sabi ko sa kanya,
29:51you know naman, if there's something big as that, you tell naman us.
29:56Dapat, dapat.
29:59Because there's also the point that you want to be there for her as a child.
30:08Like me, for example, my parents got sick.
30:12Also during the time of my seven-year vacation, long vacation,
30:19my father was very, very sick.
30:22Wait, let me go back to your mom.
30:25Because what happened was, since my father was sick,
30:28I didn't tell him that I was sick too.
30:32I didn't tell him.
30:34Why?
30:35I didn't tell him because he was sick.
30:37So I didn't want to trouble him.
30:39So I'm like your mom pala.
30:41No, okay.
30:43I didn't tell my dad.
30:44You think if your dad wasn't sick, sinabi mo kaya sa kanya to?
30:49Yeah, kung hindi siya sick.
30:51Because he was bedridden already.
30:53He was bedridden and he was in the hospital.
30:56But Miss T, I'm well.
30:58I'm okay.
31:00Yeah, your mom really decided on her own.
31:03Yeah, she wanted to do it.
31:05And then sabi ko sa kanya, you know, we're going to go through this as a family.
31:11I told everyone.
31:12I told my siblings, you know.
31:14Mama has this and, you know, she has to go through chemo and such.
31:18And then here's the dramatic part.
31:21I mean, I've seen this played out in a lot of families.
31:25Like when a sister or a mom or a wife, you know, if they're going to go through chemo,
31:34pati yung siblings, pati yung husband, they also shave their heads.
31:39Oh, wow.
31:40And then I told my brother, do you want to shave your head?
31:44You know, in solidarity, you know, and all.
31:47Yeah, okay lang ako, sabi ng kapatid ko.
31:51Tinabi ko sa mama ko, you know what, ma, you know, Noel and I have decided we're going to shave your head.
31:57And she became angry.
32:00Really?
32:01Sabi niya, talagang nagmuramura siya talaga.
32:04Sabi niya, huwag niyong gagawin yan.
32:07Sabi niya, unang-una, hindi ako gagaling pag ginawa niyo yan.
32:12Kahit pakalbon niyo pa yan, hindi ako gagaling.
32:17Sabi niya, gagaling ako because of the chemo.
32:20It's enough that I know that, you know, I'm being loved.
32:23Amazing, amazing.
32:25You know, and looking back at it now.
32:29Yes.
32:30Narealize ko that it was, she's an amazing woman when it comes to that.
32:36Amazing, yes.
32:38Saludo.
32:40Amazing.
32:41Ang galing.
32:42What is the name of your mom?
32:44My mom's name is Angie.
32:46She lives in Chicago.
32:47Angie.
32:48Oh my gosh.
32:49Amazing.
32:50You know, I really love telling this story.
32:52Because sabi ko nga, there's life after cancer.
32:57Absolutely, yes.
32:59And if we just get off the drama, we can feel that there's life after cancer.
33:07Absolutely, absolutely.
33:09Kasi ito yung sinabi niya natatandaan ko eh.
33:11Na parang, pat kayo matatakot? I'm not dead yet.
33:14And I cannot remember a time wherein I cried because I knew she had cancer.
33:20Because siya nga hindi umiiyak eh.
33:22Right.
33:23Not that I know of, no.
33:25Like parang, she probably is, or I don't know, when she's alone.
33:30Pero at least pinakita niya sa amin, mga anak niya, na parang, no, it's, I can deal with that.
33:37Right, galing.
33:39Wow.
33:41Ikaw Miss Timmy, as you were battling the big C, of course, is it okay to ask kung anong stage ba yon?
33:52Yes, it was stage one and I didn't have to have chemo.
33:57So I was actually very, very lucky.
33:59I asked my oncologist and my surgeon, why did I feel it?
34:07Why did I feel it?
34:09Kasi sabi nila, others don't feel it.
34:12I mean, you don't feel like that thunderbolt I was telling you, over that peppercorn thing that they found, the cancer that they found.
34:22And then my doctor said, she pointed, she went like this to me.
34:30She said, I just, you know, bowed down and I really just entrusted everything to the Lord.
34:36Because when I felt it, I acted on it.
34:39Other women, they feel something, something strange, but they don't act on it.
34:47So if they don't act on it, then it grows.
34:50The cancer grows.
34:52But my cancer was so small and I had a second and third opinion.
34:58And they told me, tapos na.
35:01Tapos na.
35:04After the biopsy, that's it.
35:06The cancer is gone.
35:08I didn't really have to do anything anymore.
35:11They just wanted me to take a preventive maintenance medicine.
35:15So you had the surgery.
35:17I had the biopsy, but then I decided that since the field, that's where the cancer grew in one of my breasts,
35:28I decided to have a mastectomy, a unilateral mastectomy.
35:32One breast and then I have an implant.
35:36Because my surgeon was saying, I want you to still feel super complete.
35:42Because, you know, the breast is such an important part of my body.
35:46It always has been.
35:48And actually, before I was diagnosed, I felt something really strange.
35:54And I was talking to my breast.
35:56Sorry, this is too much information.
35:58But I was talking to my breast and I was saying, to my breast, I was saying, what's going on there?
36:04Why do you look sad?
36:05I really asked.
36:07And then a few months after, that's when I was diagnosed.
36:11And so before the mastectomy, before that, I had to speak to my breast and to myself and say goodbye
36:21to something so important.
36:24And, you know, it's like, wow, you can't imagine the feeling as a woman.
36:29It's like cutting off half of you, half of you.
36:34And it needs a lot of psychology.
36:39And being the dramatic person that I am, I have this thing going on.
36:45And I had to talk to myself a lot.
36:47Took a while, took a while.
36:49And I also love nature.
36:50I love being outdoors.
36:53So that really helped me, being outdoors.
36:56And then what I did was I wrote an entire album.
37:02I wrote an entire album during the whole thing, from diagnosis to everything.
37:07Every step of the way for two years, I was writing songs, composing and really connecting with God and
37:16kaming dalawa, teamwork.
37:18And he would give me the melodies and I would write the lyrics.
37:22And I focused on that, on every aspect of the whole thing from beginning to end until I recovered,
37:30until I was up and about.
37:32Because there was a time where I couldn't move my arm.
37:36Something happened to my arm.
37:38I couldn't move it.
37:40And since I'm a swimmer, I couldn't swim.
37:44And when I was in the water, I really fell.
37:48I fell.
37:50And for somebody who's been swimming for like 30, 40 years, you know, it's really like that.
37:54I swim an hour every other day and stuff.
37:57I was falling.
37:59So, so much going on in my mind.
38:01I had to tweak my mind to really focus on all the good stuff and that I'm still alive.
38:09And that I'm going to get over this and I'm going to do it step by step.
38:13So, that's what I did.
38:14I gave myself time.
38:16I became very patient with myself.
38:18I did my own macro-management.
38:22I did micro-management.
38:24If I see a sack of rice, a bottle by bottle, that's what I did in my life.
38:31So, I did my own macro-management.
38:34And if there's anything ugly that I don't like, I removed it.
38:37I removed it.
38:39I developed my good qualities.
38:43And that's when I realized that the reason why I was given that challenge is so that I can still fix my mind.
38:50Updaters, I'm going to beat you up first.
38:53Because that's just part one of our Kamustahan with Miss Timmy Cruz.
38:57And we learned about her battle with cancer.
38:59Don't forget to also check out part two of our podcast with Miss Timmy Cruz
39:03where she will reveal the reason for her return to showbiz.
39:07If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave us a 5-star review.
39:10You can also download this episode so you can listen to it anytime.
39:29You can also download this episode so you can listen to it anytime.