• 4 months ago
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00:00Imagine being on a date at the best restaurant in town,
00:02and then the waiter trips and drops his tray full of live lobster,
00:05and one of them pinches you.
00:06And this is not even the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.
00:09Let's take it from the beginning.
00:10My mom was a Red Cross advocate for women's rights,
00:13and my dad was her bodyguard,
00:14so they were always off to this gala or the other,
00:16and they left us back with an army of nannies.
00:18And when I say us, I mean me and the Chaos Crew,
00:21also known as my five younger siblings.
00:23Food battles, mud fights, glitter bombs, they were so extra.
00:27Even Mary Poppins would snap her little umbrella and shuffle up a chimney to escape from them.
00:31Every time another nanny left, we got the talk.
00:34I'm disappointed in all of you, but especially you, Martha.
00:37You're the oldest. You should lead by example.
00:40I haven't done anything.
00:41Exactly. How are you supposed to become a leader of the future if you can't even lead your siblings?
00:46If you were home teaching us instead of running around, I wouldn't have to take charge.
00:50What I do is important.
00:51More important than your family?
00:53When mom didn't immediately reply, my heart shattered.
00:56I rushed to my room and locked it when mom came to talk to me later.
00:59Martha, I'm sorry. Of course I love you.
01:02Then don't go.
01:02I have to, but we'll talk when we come back. I promise.
01:06Maybe it's better if you never come back.
01:07It was like fate really had a twisted sense of humor and heard me.
01:11Mom and dad did not return from their last trip to the Amazon.
01:14I felt like it was my fault that they didn't return.
01:16My punishment.
01:17The police sent out search parties and even used drones to look at their plane that disappeared,
01:21but they couldn't find anything.
01:22It's a lot, right?
01:23But stay with me.
01:23You've already liked and subscribed, haven't you?
01:25Don't cry. Mom and dad will come back.
01:27Dad's a tough bodyguard and mom's faster than a tiger.
01:30I'll take care of you in the meantime.
01:31I'll be a leader, mom, just like you wanted.
01:33Please come back.
01:33But I was only 15 and I knew nothing about adulting.
01:36I was suddenly surrounded by lawyers asking me questions and making me sign things.
01:40Just pretend you know what you're doing and you'll be fine.
01:42Yeah, it wasn't fine.
01:44One of my mom's lawyers turned out to be a total snake.
01:46He conned his way into getting guardianship over everything,
01:49and then he kicked us out and took control of all the assets.
01:52You can't do this!
01:53Oh, what?
01:54I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of all the money you just signed off to me.
01:58Wait until mom and dad are back.
02:00They'll send you to jail.
02:01You mean when they come back from the jungle?
02:03Pah!
02:03Well, I've got a fortune to spend.
02:05Goodbye!
02:06I was super angry, but I didn't have time for it.
02:08The chaos crew had turned into a miserable bunch,
02:11and I needed to take care of them first.
02:13Right, first step, let's find a place to live.
02:15We all put our birthday cash together and it was enough for a couple of months' rent.
02:18Finding someone willing to rent to a group of teenagers was quite a challenge.
02:22So I had this crazy idea to dress up like an old lady,
02:25and somehow managed to get us a lease.
02:27Luckily, it was still the summer holidays,
02:29so I had time to take up all the gigs I could find,
02:31like a plant manager, where I literally had to water plants,
02:34cornfield pollinator, and even party entertainer.
02:37These children are wilder than my siblings!
02:39Let it go! Let it go!
02:40Ah!
02:41Here, let me help you up.
02:42At least my colleagues are all kind.
02:44My siblings pitched in as well.
02:45They baked tons of cookies and sold them,
02:47pretending to be Girl Scouts,
02:48and they muddied everyone's cars at night
02:50so they could offer a wash-up service in the morning.
02:52At a premium, of course.
02:54Who knew that being little devils would come in handy?
02:56By the time school started, I had turned 16,
02:58and we had all transferred to public school.
03:00I was so nervous on the first day.
03:02And then I got to class, and all the desks were already taken.
03:04Now I'll have to stand in the corner like a potted plant!
03:07But then a girl sitting in the last row waved at me.
03:09She was dressed in this bright orange shirt with space buns,
03:12and her desk was hidden under a pile of comics.
03:14Come here, we can share!
03:15Um, there's a desk under all that?
03:17Where can I get a chair?
03:18We'll share mine!
03:19By the way, I'm Bree.
03:20You can call me Bree-lient.
03:22Bree was a weirdo, but she was also pretty awesome.
03:24She gave me all her notes and knew all the juicy gossip.
03:27That girl there? Her mom works in marketing,
03:29so she always knows the latest discount codes.
03:31And that one there? Don't talk about her nose.
03:32We became best friends, and eventually I told her about my story.
03:35I want to save up enough cash so I can find my parents.
03:38You're so strong. I want to be like you.
03:39You're perfect the way you are.
03:40I'm not! I'm almost 17, and I've never had a boyfriend.
03:44Everyone I confess to just rejects me,
03:46and Darius doesn't even know I exist.
03:48Darius was Bree's crush and the captain of the school's chess team.
03:51Are you sure he's the right guy for you?
03:52He is the one! I can feel it!
03:54And this time, I'm going to get my confession right!
03:56Bree's plan was as crazy as she was.
03:58She got dressed up as a chess piece
04:00and painted the whole club room as a giant chess board
04:03with a banner that said,
04:04Will you be my checkmate?
04:05But when Darius walked into the door, he freaked out.
04:08Where is it?
04:09What?
04:09My chess board!
04:10There was a game I've been playing since I was a freshman!
04:13I... I... We just moved it.
04:15Uh, there?
04:16Darius was so furious, he wanted to call the principal.
04:19And then one of his friends intervened.
04:20I didn't see who he was
04:21because I was too busy pulling a crying Bree away.
04:24Thank you, Mysterious Dude.
04:25After that, Bree was done with the guys.
04:27And honestly, I had my own problems to deal with.
04:29Like, the time I was getting out of the shower
04:31and this gigantic cockroach came out of the drain.
04:34I screamed and hit it with the shampoo bottle,
04:36but then even more of them started crawling out.
04:38Yee! It's an invasion!
04:40Oh yeah, it happens.
04:42Why do you think the flat was so cheap?
04:43We tried spraying them with gas,
04:45but the crawlers kept multiplying.
04:47We need a new flat ASAP.
04:49Martha, wise up and ask for a raise.
04:51But when I showed up for my part-time gig
04:53at the Party Entertainer Company,
04:54the door was sealed off with bright yellow FBI tape
04:57and the entire place cleared out.
04:59Oh man, I loved this job.
05:01At least you got to keep a costume.
05:02What costume?
05:03These are my normal clothes.
05:05That is... very creative.
05:07I never thought I'd meet someone more colorful than Bree.
05:10Hey, hey, wait a second.
05:11Cute, smart, and probably colorblind?
05:14He's just perfect.
05:15Jasper, how would you like to meet a friend of mine?
05:17The moment I introduced Bree and Jasper,
05:19it was insta-love.
05:20They were like two very colorful peas in a super bright pod.
05:24And shortly after, they started dating.
05:26Martha, you are a lifesaver.
05:27I was seriously starting to think
05:29I'd be a crazy cat lady forever.
05:30It was an easy match.
05:32You have so much in common.
05:33A couple of months later, it was Jasper's birthday party,
05:35and he introduced me to his sister Trinity,
05:37who was like the Wednesday to his Enid.
05:39Wow, and they came out of the same womb.
05:41I can't believe someone like Jasper
05:43found such a cute girlfriend.
05:44And I'm still single.
05:46All the boys care about is looks,
05:47and no one cares about brains.
05:48As I watched Trinity cut marshmallows into cubes
05:51and stack them into perfect columns,
05:53I realized there was at least one boy
05:55who could appreciate her.
05:56So I texted him.
05:57Oh, I hope I won't regret this.
05:58The party was in full swing-win.
06:00What's Darius doing here?
06:01Actually, I invited him.
06:03What?
06:03Trust me.
06:04Hey, Darius.
06:05Hi.
06:05This is Trinity, and she likes cube-shaped marshmallows.
06:08Round marshmallows make no sense.
06:10Finally, someone who gets it.
06:12And just like that, Darius the ice cube
06:14started melting.
06:15See, I told you he wasn't the right one for you.
06:17She is.
06:18OMG, you're right.
06:20You're like the matchmaking queen.
06:21I realized how happy Bree's words made me.
06:23Helping other people is so cool.
06:26But fate was once again ready to kick me down
06:28because I got a call from the hospital.
06:29What happened?
06:30They're saying my brother picked up a sandwich from the bin,
06:33but it had some glass in it, and now he needs stitches.
06:35This is all my fault.
06:37If we had more money, he'd never pick food from the bin.
06:39And now how am I going to pay for the operation?
06:41We don't have insurance.
06:43I even tried to call the snake lawyer, but...
06:45Oh, I love that you think I should care.
06:47Bye.
06:48Luckily, the operation was a success,
06:50and my brother was OK.
06:51When I got to the hospital and asked for the bill,
06:53the receptionist told me it had already been paid.
06:56It was a young guy.
06:57Ah, there, he's just walking into the elevator.
06:59I tried to catch up with him,
07:00but the elevator doors shut in my face.
07:02Gosh, I swear his back looks so familiar.
07:04Who is he?
07:05Thanks to my mysterious angel,
07:06the accident had resolved well,
07:08but it had shown me how much I needed a new job.
07:11After Darius and Trinity became a thing,
07:13the whole school was buzzing with the rumor
07:14that I was the one who set them up.
07:16People were begging me to find them their perfect match.
07:18Every time I opened my locker,
07:20I was buried in a pile of profiles and love letters.
07:22How do I fix this?
07:23I'm happy to help, but I can't keep doing this for everyone.
07:26I gotta focus on finding a new part-time job.
07:28Well, why don't you open a matchmaking agency?
07:31But I feel bad to ask people to pay for love.
07:34Then only ask for a donation from the successful ones.
07:37And who knows?
07:37Maybe you'll find the right match for yourself as well.
07:39Right, like I have time for that.
07:41But Bree is right.
07:42This is something I'm good at.
07:43I should at least try.
07:44So the next day, I got Bree and Jasper
07:46to help me through my first matchmaker party.
07:48By the end of the night,
07:49the donation box was bursting with cash,
07:51and everyone was coupled up.
07:52Almost everyone.
07:53As I stepped into the bathroom,
07:54a girl ran up to me, and she was dripping wet.
07:57How could you match me up with that dimwit?
07:59I told him, pass me the water, and he poured it on me.
08:02Him as in...
08:03I checked my notes.
08:04Kuro?
08:04Kuro was one of my top candidates.
08:06One year older than me, and a looker.
08:08Plus, he aced all his classes.
08:10Oh, and he loved hamsters.
08:11And gaming.
08:12And, well, to be honest,
08:13I might have stalked his online profile a bit.
08:15Can't help that he's so cute.
08:17And then he called my mom your grandma.
08:19It has to be on purpose.
08:20I'm sorry, I'll find you a new match.
08:22How about...
08:23Timothy?
08:24Thankfully, Timothy was a total catch.
08:25So the girl was happy, and my reputation was saved.
08:28My agency was killing it.
08:29And my siblings and I finally moved out of Cockroachville.
08:32But to track down Mom and Dad,
08:33I needed some serious cash.
08:35And that meant tackling my biggest issue.
08:37Kuro, what's up with him?
08:38On paper, he's a catch.
08:39But every girl I set him up with
08:41comes back with a nightmare story.
08:42He took me on a boat trip,
08:44and we almost sank.
08:45We went ice skating,
08:46but he didn't know how to stop,
08:47and we crashed.
08:48We tried a cooking class,
08:49and he somehow managed to burn the spaghetti,
08:51set off the fire alarm,
08:52and evacuate the entire restaurant.
08:54He's ruining my perfect score.
08:56How can someone be really that clumsy?
08:58Maybe you need to find out by yourself.
09:00Brie was right.
09:01So I bought a wig and contact lenses,
09:03and set up myself for a date with Kuro.
09:04As soon as he entered the restaurant,
09:06he tripped on his own feet,
09:07and crashed into the waiter,
09:08and everyone was looking at us.
09:09But instead of being angry, I just smiled.
09:11So, Kuro, tell me about yourself.
09:13Well, I'm kinda clumsy.
09:15I'm sorry.
09:15Ah, it's not so easy to scare me.
09:17I mean, I survived a cockroach invasion.
09:19A what?
09:20So I told Kuro everything about my horrible flat
09:23and crazy summer jobs.
09:24He laughed,
09:24and then got back from the toilet
09:26with a whole roll stuck under his shoe,
09:28which then led to the lobster accident,
09:29which I told you about already.
09:31And, gosh, he really is a menace.
09:33You're giving up?
09:34Never.
09:34The second date was better.
09:35We only got a batch full of super salty popcorn.
09:37The third date was almost normal.
09:39And by the fourth, I realized he'd done nothing clumsy.
09:42Wow, I guess he was just nervous.
09:44I started to get so comfortable around him,
09:45that I even told him about my mom and dad's disappearance.
09:48Don't lose hope.
09:49I bet they're still out there somewhere.
09:51I know they are.
09:52If it hadn't been for that awful lawyer.
09:54What lawyer?
09:54After I explained how we got conned,
09:56Kuro was super mad.
09:58I can't believe he can get away with something like that.
10:00He's a lawyer.
10:01Who is the police gonna believe?
10:02There must be some evidence.
10:04The more I listened to Kuro,
10:05the more I realized he was right.
10:07I didn't have time or money before to go after him,
10:09but now, it's time for the Chaos Crew's return,
10:11and get our revenge.
10:12That night, we went to our old house,
10:14and stuffed some old rotted beans in all the air vents.
10:16Less than half an hour later,
10:17the people inside were opening all the windows.
10:19Stage two, go.
10:20Dressed up as a cleaning crew,
10:21my siblings rang at the door,
10:23while I sneaked through a window.
10:24It was dark, but I grew up in this house.
10:26I know it like the back of my hand.
10:27I waited until the Chaos Crew started to fill all the vents with flour,
10:30making everyone cough,
10:31and then I went into the study.
10:33Okay, focus.
10:33He won't leave around a folder with evil plan written on it,
10:36so...
10:37But as I looked into a drawer,
10:38that's exactly what I found.
10:40As I scanned through the pages,
10:41everything became clear.
10:42My parents...
10:43I can't believe they...
10:44Drop that.
10:45I looked around to see if there was anything I could throw at him,
10:48but he had me backed into a corner.
10:49I thought I smelled a rat.
10:51Now be a good girl, and...
10:53Cough.
10:53The lawyer dropped,
10:54and behind him was Kuro,
10:55holding a big law book.
10:57The power of knowledge, eh?
10:58OMG, thank you.
11:00But how did you find me?
11:01I might have followed you?
11:03Sorry, I was worried.
11:05While Kuro tied him up and called the police,
11:06I whipped out the phone and called the number I had found in the evil plan folder.
11:10Sugar Leader's Bakery?
11:11Yes, I have to place an order for 27 cinnamon rolls.
11:14Please work.
11:15Please work.
11:16ATTACK!
11:17Mistaking Kuro for a bad guy,
11:19my siblings jumped him,
11:20and by the time I pried them away,
11:22the police had arrived.
11:23Arrest them!
11:24They're trespassing!
11:25It's not your house!
11:26My parents are missing, not dead,
11:28so by law, my signatures are invalid.
11:30But the evidence was clear,
11:31and the police dragged him away.
11:32It turns out, we weren't the only family he had conned.
11:35He's going to be in prison for a very long time.
11:38A few days later, my siblings and I returned to our parents' home.
11:40I invited Kuro, Brie, and my friends to celebrate,
11:43but I couldn't sit still.
11:44Finally, the doorbell rang,
11:46and when I opened the door,
11:47my parents were there, alive and well.
11:49My babies!
11:50We're so sorry.
11:52We were working with native communities to stop illegal activities,
11:55but we were forced to go underground to save the project.
11:58We left our lawyer a number and a safe message,
12:00so that you could reach us in case of an emergency.
12:02That's the call you made?
12:04Yes! That arrogant man had written everything down.
12:06He was supposed to explain everything and take care of us.
12:09Instead, he even told our parents to stay away
12:11because we had received some threats.
12:13We should have never trusted him.
12:14But now you're home, and you're going to stay, right?
12:16Mom and Dad looked at each other,
12:18and for a moment, I was afraid that they might leave again.
12:20Of course we're staying!
12:22We learned our lesson.
12:23And who are all these nice young people?
12:25I introduced all my new friends to my parents,
12:28and told them how much they had helped me.
12:29But when it was Kuro's turn, I hesitated.
12:31Is he a friend? A date? A boyfriend?
12:33He doesn't even know I'm the matchmaker.
12:35This is Kuro, and I...
12:36Well, I've never been completely honest with him.
12:39I turned to him. I hope he understands.
12:41Kuro, I'm not one of your matches.
12:43I am the matchmaker.
12:44I braced myself, expecting rejection, but...
12:47I already knew.
12:48What?
12:48Why do you think I was such a loser with other girls?
12:51I've had a crush on you since Brie's wild confession to Darius.
12:55But you were so wrapped up in your agency,
12:57you never even gave me a second glance.
12:59I had to do something drastic to get you to notice me.
13:01Brie's confession? But...
13:03I squinted at him.
13:04Right! He was the guy who stopped Darius from going to the principal.
13:07And, OMG, you also paid for my brother's hospital bill!
13:11Yeah, I overheard you talking about it at Jasper's party.
13:15Why didn't you tell me?
13:16I didn't want you to go out with me because of money.
13:18I couldn't believe he'd done all that just to date me.
13:20I guess this answers my question.
13:22Mom, Dad, I'd like to introduce you to Kuro, my perfect match.
13:25I grabbed Kuro's hand, and as I saw the happiness on his face,
13:29I knew I had made the perfect choice.
13:31Welcome to the family, Kuro.

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