The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00This is a nice one, Lily.
00:25It says, just a word of kindness, this joyous Christmas died, if you fancy a nice bit of
00:31haddock, have it dipped in some batter and fried.
00:34Ooh, that's nice, who is it from?
00:37It's from that Chinese chip shop in Corporation Street.
00:40Well, he says he's Chinese, he's about as much Chinese as you are, Walter.
00:48Nearest he's ever been to China is under his bed.
00:52Still, it's the thought, isn't it?
00:55We've done very well this year, our Walter's had a lot.
00:58Ooh, is that right, you've had a lot?
01:03He loves it at Christmas.
01:07Yes, he must do, I'm just saying, you love it at Christmas.
01:12In fact, he makes a beast of himself.
01:15It's only once a year, isn't it, you know, just saying, it's only once a year.
01:21He looks forward to it, especially coming here for his Christmas dinner.
01:26Yeah, well, I'm just going to mention that, Lily.
01:30You'll remember what he likes, won't you? Plenty of stuffing.
01:35I know he likes it, but he's not going to get it, I mean, not here, Lily.
01:40How do you mean?
01:41Well, I mean, we're going out for our Christmas dinner, I'm not making a big one this year.
01:45You mean you don't want me and Walter to come?
01:47No, I'm not saying that, you can come if you like, but we shan't be in, you see.
01:52We're going out, I've just said, we're going out to our Christmas dinner.
01:55We're going out, I've booked a table for two at the Hotel Metrolux.
02:02It's a very nice place and very receptacle.
02:07Without the red nose reindeer and the very shiny conch.
02:13Oh, Alex Peter Pan and Wednesday.
02:15Oh, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
02:19I'm doing what I've got to say.
02:22Dream of something.
02:23What the hell are you doing here?
02:24I live here, don't I?
02:26I'm not at wrong house, am I?
02:28Listen, it's not chucking out time yet.
02:30It's only quarter past...
02:31Oh, I must get a little out.
02:34Well, you see, Nellie, I had a bit of trouble at the pub.
02:37What happened?
02:38I was pulling a cracker.
02:39Well, there's nothing wrong with that.
02:41The problem is, her husband came in.
02:46This is the first time you haven't spent Christmas Eve in the pub.
02:50No, it's not.
02:51There was that time I went to that club.
02:53Well, excuse me, Nellie, but does your Eli know what you've just told me?
02:57Our Eli?
02:58He didn't know what day it is.
03:00You shouldn't talk like that about Eli.
03:02Always struck me as being very shrewd.
03:04You know, I've always wanted to strike you like that.
03:07Look, it's no use trying to get round our Eli.
03:10There'll be no big do at this house this Christmas,
03:13because I say so, and that's flat.
03:16And there's nothing flatter than that, Nellie, except your chest.
03:20I'm not stopping here to be insulted.
03:22So long, then.
03:23Oh, I always thought we were welcome here.
03:25I always thought we were very close.
03:27You are very close to a punch up the bracket, Dorothy.
03:30Oh!
03:31Look, don't be. You've gone a bit too far now, you big girl's blouse.
03:34I mean...
03:36You didn't mean it, Nellie.
03:37No, look, I mean...
03:38Look, then, what are you quarrelling for?
03:40After all, it is the festering season.
03:43Quite right, Nellie. Let's all have a drink.
03:45Let's have a dance.
03:46Oh!
03:47Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
03:50Get off, you...
03:52Your jingles will blow in a minute.
03:54Dreaming of what?
03:56Get off.
03:57I am.
03:58If you'd have told us sooner, Nellie, that you weren't going to have a do,
04:01well, we would have made other arrangements.
04:04What do you mean?
04:05I mean, we were going on one of them winter sports holidays.
04:09What were you, Walter?
04:11He likes winter sports.
04:13Yeah, I thought he went to sports, he knows.
04:15He's writing his name in the snow with his hands still in his pockets.
04:20Here I am, aren't you?
04:21Just a minute.
04:23You think he should have that? I mean, has he been?
04:28Have you been?
04:30I think he's been.
04:32Here I am, Nellie.
04:33Nellie, wrap that down your tonsils, love.
04:35It'll do you good on the way home.
04:37Here I am, Nellie.
04:38Yeah, it's been very cold today, don't you think?
04:40I was out shopping.
04:41Ooh, there was a terrible wind blew up.
04:43Blew up where?
04:45Shut up, you.
04:47Well, here we are.
04:49Bottoms up.
04:50Trousers down.
04:53Not at Christmas.
04:55I like a glass of sherry.
04:58Ooh, it's like a lot of little coloured lights going down.
05:02And then it goes in like a lot of golden little balls.
05:06All exploding, you know.
05:09If I have port, it gives me wind.
05:12Hey, would you like one foot road?
05:14I wouldn't say no.
05:15That was it, you've had it, get off.
05:17You shouldn't talk like that to our Lily.
05:19Make her think she's not wanted.
05:21Where have you put Walter's duffel coat?
05:24We don't get too much off, do we?
05:26I mean, it's not as though we have to get up for work or anything.
05:29No, well, I thought you might want to get home, you know, to hang Walter's stocking up.
05:32And this year, I'm taking it off first.
05:35Aw, he loves hanging it up.
05:37Well, I'm sure he does.
05:41He'll get plenty in it too, what with it being made of elastic and all.
05:46Aw, it's his biggest thrill.
05:48Waking up on Christmas morning, first thing he says is...
05:51Has he been?
05:54Come on, it's not this time, J.J., man, sit down.
05:58Look at his little face, all excited.
06:02What's Daddy Christmas going to bring for Walter Paul to this Christmas?
06:08Something he's always wanted.
06:10Yeah, after you'll never get rattle whelks down your chimney.
06:15No, you remember that operation he had?
06:17What, the one to stop him going out at night?
06:20Shut up, you.
06:22You mean when he had his gallstones out?
06:26Well, I've had them mounted on a pair of cufflinks for him.
06:33That must be very nice.
06:36Of course, he'll only wear them for best.
06:41Hey, somebody at our door.
06:42I bet it's that paper lad coming for his Christmas box.
06:45Go and see him off.
06:46What shall I tell him?
06:47Tell him he's had it.
06:48He should have thought of his Christmas box.
06:50When he gave our cat that chewing mint.
06:54I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
06:56It was awful, you know.
06:57He should have seen our cat.
07:00Yes, I had to open his mouth, you know.
07:02With a pair of pliers, like that.
07:04And then I had to get a paint scraper and hack it out, like that.
07:09Went right through me.
07:11Look, Aunt Ali says we don't...
07:16It's Batman and Robin.
07:20Complimenting this evening.
07:22All you wish yourself, sir.
07:24Ah, many of them.
07:26Hey, what the hell are you two doing round here?
07:28Don't you know it's Christmas Eve?
07:29Ah, that's why we're here.
07:31Ah, we're going round carol singing to old people,
07:34what have been nice to us during the year.
07:37Get her off, you two.
07:38Can't sing.
07:39Well, fair do's.
07:40You haven't been nice to us.
07:42Go on, clear off the bed.
07:43It's snowing.
07:45Go on, I'll look.
07:46And I've got a bottle of the hard stuff and all.
07:49Well, why the hell didn't you say so?
07:50Come in and get warm, it's fine.
07:57Then one foggy Christmas Eve
08:00Can't get you to stay
08:03You know if you're not all right
08:07Walking down my street
08:09You can't get out the way
08:11If you're big
08:13And the sound of bells rings clear
08:17Don't break, don't break
08:20You'll go down in history
08:23You'll go down in history
08:37I love that.
08:38I love those old songs, you know.
08:40One with sort of a massage in the words.
08:44Nellie, do you know when you stand against the light
08:47your bra straps are showing?
08:49No, how does it go?
08:52It's not a song, you daft old faggot.
08:55It's a good thing I haven't got my see-through vest on.
09:00Hey, hey, Miss Nellie.
09:01Play All the Nice Girls Love a Bittler.
09:04Eh?
09:06It's sailor, you Bert.
09:08All right.
09:09All the nice sailors love a bittler.
09:13No, I'm going to play that one with how Walter sings, you know.
09:16When he sort of throws himself about, you know.
09:20And he does his take-off of Tom Jones, you know.
09:24It's not untouchable to be alive
09:31Hey, hey!
09:34You'll get your knickers in a twist in a minute.
09:37That's how Walter does it, you know.
09:39Where is he? Oh, here's here Walter.
09:41Hey, hey, has he gone?
09:44I don't think so. Seat's not wet.
09:49Hey, hey, he's snuffed it.
09:51He's getting a bucket.
09:53No, he hasn't. He hasn't half-hammered this bottle, has he?
09:55Hey, we'd better loosen this bolt.
09:57Oh, no, perhaps not. Perhaps Harry Lilly ought to do it.
09:59It's her husband, you know.
10:00Where is Harry Lilly?
10:01I don't know. Where the hell's Grenville?
10:03Oh, I'll soon get to the bottom of things.
10:06Oh!
10:10I think by the look of it, Grenville's going to get to the bottom of things.
10:15Get off, you fat cat.
10:17Oh, he grabbed hold of me.
10:19Get off!
10:21You had the Indian Death Lock on him.
10:24Look, Lilly, I mean, we're having none of this.
10:26That comes from watching that all-in wrestling on the telly.
10:30We're having none of that there in this house, I'll tell you that, madam.
10:33You can just get your hand coat on and get going.
10:35I took her out.
10:37She's a menace.
10:38Yeah, and you're going with her as well.
10:41Get out, Lilly.
10:42Get out.
10:48Oh.
10:50Blood and stomach pills.
10:53Who took us out there? After all, it is Christmas.
10:57Hey, suppose Grenville and I got frostbite,
11:00you'd lose two very good bitlers.
11:04It's no to what you two are losing.
11:07This is an awful night, that's for sure.
11:09Hey, and I've still got another bottle of scotch.
11:12Well, why the hell didn't you say so?
11:14You two lads can stop, come on.
11:16All right, all right, we'll stop.
11:18But just you watch it.
11:19Otherwise, you're going to end up in the Christmas Pudding Club.
11:34Christmas Pudding Club
11:51Good King Wences shouted out for his crisps and bacon.
11:57Merry Christmas, Dad.
11:59I hope you're getting plenty of pudding up there.
12:01After all, that's where it started, isn't it?
12:10Good God, free wind.
12:12Looks like Christmas Day in the mortuary.
12:16Oh, they've eaten us out of each house alone.
12:24Oh, maybe it's time I were going home.
12:27You are home, you big girl's blouse.
12:29Oh, that's hard, Nellie.
12:31Hey, if I'm at home, why am I on the city?
12:33Why am I in my own bed?
12:35Because Lily and Walter were in your bed.
12:37They stayed here last night.
12:39Have my bed, you said.
12:41I must have been daft. I'll chuck them out.
12:43Oh, no, you won't.
12:44You know Walter likes a lie-in.
12:46Ah, but a lie-in what?
12:49If you go bursting in that room, you'll give him a turn.
12:52If I leave him laying in that bed, I'll have to give my mattress a turn.
12:57I'm going to so chuck them out.
12:59You're doing no such thing.
13:00They'll be down in a minute and I'll chuck them out.
13:02I'm going to chuck this lot out as well.
13:04Then you and me can have a nice Christmas Day together.
13:07Now, come on.
13:09Come on, get up there. Come on.
13:11Come in. It's not locked.
13:13Come on, you lucky devils.
13:15Get along. Come in. It's not locked.
13:17Come on, you.
13:19Have I been asleep?
13:21Well, we thought you were dead.
13:24You putrefying pickled wackers.
13:27Come on, get up.
13:28Get cracking.
13:29And get gone.
13:30Out of here.
13:34Hey, your Nellie's in a bit of a temper this morning.
13:37She's always at her best on Christmas Day.
13:41Come on, down you come, you lot.
13:43Come on.
13:45Come on over here, like.
13:47Get those...
13:49those scroungers out of there.
13:51Come on.
13:52Now, here you are.
13:53That's yours. Get along, that's it.
13:55Here you are, there you are.
13:57That's it, now.
13:59Merry Christmas to you all.
14:01And in case I don't see you again,
14:04which I certainly won't,
14:06a Happy New Year to you all.
14:09Now, get along!
14:13Keep it open.
14:18Hey!
14:21It's snowed a bit in the night.
14:24Snowed a bit.
14:26It's like one of those Alpine ambulances.
14:29We can't go out there.
14:31I mean, it's over the top of our Walters Wellies.
14:33Well, they walk on his hands.
14:35It can't be so frual as to send us out through that front door.
14:38No, I can't send you out through that front door.
14:42I'll send you out the back.
14:45Whoa!
14:47Blood and castor oil.
14:50We're Eskimo'd.
14:52Go and get a shovel.
14:54It's in the shed.
14:55Well, go and get it.
14:56How can I get the shovel out of the shed
14:58when I can't get to the shed without the shovel?
15:00Shoveling anyway, Miss Ellie.
15:02You'll not shovel much with that.
15:04That's only fit for shoveling.
15:06Eli!
15:08Seed out of a budgie's pot.
15:10Seed out of a budgie's pot.
15:12Seed out of a budgie's pot.
15:14Well, that's it then, isn't it?
15:16We'll have to stop now.
15:18Right, let's get Christmasy open in the lounge.
15:20Come on.
15:21You can come too, Walter.
15:22We'll leave the ladies to get on with Christmas dinner.
15:24Oh, yeah, Eli, just you wait a minute for me.
15:27You go off into the lounge, Lily.
15:29Will you just tidy up a bit of that mess a bit for me, will you?
15:32Now, Eli, you and me had better have a family conflagration.
15:36Come on, what's it all about?
15:38And if you're going to try and talk me into giving Walter Parsons nose,
15:41he's had it, I have that bit.
15:43Yes, well, you're not having it this year.
15:45There's no justice.
15:46There's no turkey.
15:48Don't tell me you've only got a chicken.
15:50I'm not, I didn't.
15:52Well, what the hell did he get then?
15:54Well, I thought we'd have Christmas dinner out, you see,
15:56and I booked a table for two at the Hotel Metrolops.
16:01It must have been a surprise.
16:03Surprise, you brainless old bundle of bagwash?
16:06Is there nothing to eat in this house?
16:08Of course there is.
16:11Well, there was, until you had it and that drunken lot in there.
16:15Oh, the table is bare.
16:18Well, you look like Mother Robert.
16:20Sod off. Get off.
16:22There's only a jar of Jubilee gherkins left
16:25and there's a tin of sardines here without a key.
16:31Where the hell's the Parsons nose in a tin of sardines?
16:34Oh, there's some tea here, you see.
16:37Isn't it marvellous if you get a marvellous Christmas dinner
16:40all you get is a flaming cup of tea.
16:42Oh, wow.
16:44Oh, you're not even going to get that?
16:46Why?
16:47Water's off.
16:48Get out of there.
16:49It must be frozen up.
16:51Not me knackered old nosebag, I'll do it.
16:54I'll get it done.
16:55I can feel something coming.
17:00That's my room, I'll kill that Walter.
17:04It's only a pipe dripping.
17:06Well, look, at least you can get kettle fill, hold it there.
17:09Go on. Hold it there.
17:11Don't get dry.
17:12Oh, Nellie, you're very handy with drips, aren't you?
17:15Help out, Nellie.
17:17To me, Nellie, it doesn't seem like Christmas, does it?
17:20It does, you know.
17:21What, were you lot here and you shouldn't be?
17:23No, Nellie.
17:24After all, it is the season of goodwill to all men.
17:27You did some goodwill out there, didn't you?
17:30I'll say you did, with that Grenville.
17:33Disgusting.
17:34Has it ever happened to you?
17:36I mean, has nobody ever tittled your fancy?
17:41They have not.
17:45Nobody has ever been near my fancy.
17:49Do you know what I mean?
17:51I mean, have you never felt it?
17:55That big surge of energy?
17:58That big surge of passion?
18:04Oh, well, there was one...
18:07Oh, I don't like telling you.
18:09Oh, go on, you can tell me.
18:11No, I don't like telling you.
18:13No, well, at your best, keeping it to yourself.
18:15No, well, at my... I could tell you.
18:19There was one night I was sat sitting watching the telly, you know,
18:22and I realised I'd gone down to the pub.
18:25You see, when all of a sudden that callum came on,
18:28you know, that Edward Woodworm,
18:31well, I didn't know what came over me,
18:34but before I knew what I was, I was knelt kneeling in front of that telly,
18:37giving him a kiss.
18:39What happened then?
18:40Commercials came on, I was kissing a big St Bernard's dog.
18:45Go on.
18:46I'll soon have you all in fire, Mr Eli.
18:49You'll soon have me a raving, flaming maniac.
18:52You haven't got enough puff to ruffle a budgie's feathers.
18:54Come on, let me have a go.
18:56Get out of here.
18:57Here, have a go with these.
19:11You're full of it, old twat.
19:13It's going, isn't it?
19:15You'll be going in a minute, you nurse.
19:17Put some coal on.
19:19Put some flaming coal on.
19:25There's no coal in that.
19:32Was that it, then?
19:34No, there's still a bit of cheese in that mouse trap under the sink.
19:37Good, I'll have that.
19:38You'll all tell us like.
19:39If we catch a mouse in that tonight, we'll be all right for supper.
19:42I'm going to get the cheese.
19:44You're not going to get the flaming cheese.
19:45I'm telling you, I'm having cheese.
19:48Listen, you two, it's not Boxing Day yet.
19:50It's Christmas Day.
19:52It's peace on earth and goodwill towards men
19:55and good fellowship and keep friendly.
19:58And if I've any more from you two, I'll knock your flaming heads together.
20:01Get over there, you.
20:03Hey, can I have that last gherkin?
20:06You can, old lad.
20:07You greedy pig.
20:09Would you like that last gherkin, Walter?
20:13Eh?
20:14Do you fancy a bit?
20:18I think he looks all right.
20:20I don't know and I'm not crawling in there to find out.
20:23He had enough trouble with him last Christmas.
20:26I'm just saying about last Christmas when it was so cold,
20:29you had to have your legs lagged.
20:34I don't mind so much when he does get frozen up.
20:37No.
20:38It's when he thaws out, you see.
20:41That's when you get the bus.
20:44Hey, we could be snored up here for days.
20:47It might be week.
20:49Suits me.
20:50If we can't get out, we can't do any work, can we?
20:53Help.
20:54There's a flaming drink in the house.
20:56Hey, here's that shovel. I'll fight me way through to the pub.
20:58Oh, sit yourself down, you big girl's blouse.
21:01I've got a drink.
21:02Have you?
21:03Don't follow me about.
21:05Don't look.
21:07I've got it in my secret place.
21:11Who in the piano?
21:13You looked.
21:14Hey, Nelly, you're a little belter.
21:17I've been saving this up for years.
21:20What is it?
21:21It's some ginger wine me mam made.
21:24Ginger wine?
21:25Yeah.
21:26Smells more like Ginger Tom.
21:31Oh, me dad used to love me mam's ginger wine.
21:34He drank it right until the day he died.
21:37When did he start? Day before?
21:40Anyway, here goes.
21:50That's powerful stuff, Nelly, that.
21:53Oh, I know it is.
21:54It soon shifted that blockage in our outside lavatory.
22:00Round and round, come on.
22:06Well, cheerio, everybody.
22:09What's he doing?
22:11He's quite nice, really.
22:13Your Walter seems to like it.
22:15Yeah, look at his little eyes, all akimbo.
22:18Right, fill them up again.
22:20I mean, Walter's had enough.
22:21Get off, it's not Christmas unless you get drunk.
22:23It's not Christmas unless you play games.
22:25What do you mean, play games?
22:26You mean like your Walter goes outside and hides?
22:29And I get the last gherkin.
22:31Hey, I've got a good idea if you want to play games.
22:34Now, look, I do a mime, you see,
22:36and you've got to guess what town I represent.
22:38Yeah.
22:39All right, here, look, this is a good one.
22:40Look, look, look.
22:42Yeah, what's that?
22:43Prestatine.
22:46Prestatine.
22:47Oh, that had whiskers on it when I was running up and down
22:49our street with me knickers round me ankles.
22:52Well, I only heard it last Tuesday,
22:54and if that's what you were doing last Tuesday,
22:56you ought to watch it.
22:58I know one.
22:59What?
23:02Self-end.
23:05Oh, you've spoiled mine now.
23:07I was going to do Southampton.
23:13I've got a good idea.
23:14Go on, then.
23:15Yes.
23:16No, it's rude.
23:17Go on, do it.
23:18No, I can't do it.
23:19Go on, Adelaide.
23:20Well, I was going to do Oldham.
23:29Now, Walter's got one.
23:31Well, that's sold a lot of bets, hasn't it?
23:34Now, take no notice.
23:35Get on with it.
23:36Do your thing, love.
23:37Wave.
23:38Wave.
23:39Wave.
23:40Waverly.
23:41No.
23:45Oh, I know.
23:46Skipton.
23:47No.
23:50He looks as though he's sat on hot coals.
23:52I've got it.
23:53Burnham on Crouch.
23:54Lamb's Bottom.
23:56I've got it.
23:57Windrush.
23:58Leap.
23:59Flushing.
24:00No, I've got it.
24:01Loo, loo.
24:02Is that it?
24:03That's it.
24:04Fancy our Walter thinking about that, eh?
24:06I never thought he had it in him.
24:08Hell's Fire.
24:09Flaming Steam, Nora.
24:10Here's that shovel.
24:11Go and get that snow shifted.
24:13Good idea.
24:14I'll just get to the pub before closing time.
24:15No, it's not at the pub.
24:16Get to our outside lavatory.
24:18Can't you see?
24:19It's our Walter.
24:20He hasn't been.
24:33He hasn't been.
25:03This is a nice one, Lily.
25:29Says, just a word of kindness.
25:31This joyous Christmas died.
25:33If you fancy a nice bit of haddock,
25:35have it dipped in some batter and fried.
25:39That's nice.
25:40Who is it from?
25:41It's from that Chinese chip shop in Corporation Street.
25:46Well, he says he's Chinese.
25:48Better much Chinese as your Walter.
25:52Nearest he's ever been to China is under his bed.
25:57Still, it's the thought, isn't it?
25:59We've done very well this year.
26:01Our Walter's had a lot.
26:05Is that right?
26:06You've had a lot?
26:08He loves it at Christmas.
26:12Yes, he must do.
26:14I'm just saying, you love it at Christmas.
26:17In fact, he makes a beast of himself.
26:20It's only once a year, isn't it?
26:22Just saying, it's only once a year.
26:25He looks forward to it.
26:28Especially coming here for his Christmas dinner.
26:31Yes, well, I'm just going to mention that, Lily.
26:35You'll remember what he likes, won't you?
26:37Plenty of stuffing.
26:40I know he likes it, but he's not going to get it.
26:43Not here, Lily.
26:45How do you mean?
26:46Well, I mean, we're going out for our Christmas dinner.
26:48I'm not making a big one this year.
26:50You mean you don't want me and Walter to come?
26:52No, I'm not saying that.
26:53Right, but we shan't be in, you see.
26:56We're going out, I've just said.
26:58We're going out to our Christmas dinner.
27:00We're going out, I've booked a table for two
27:03at the Hotel Metrolux.
27:06It's a very nice place and very receptacle.
27:11Without the red nose reindeer
27:14and the very shiny conch.
27:17Oh, well, it's Peter Pan on Wednesday.
27:20Oh, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
27:26Dream of something.
27:27What the hell are you doing here?
27:29I live here, don't I?
27:30I'm not at wrong house, am I?
27:32It's not chucking out.