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00:00Hi friends!
00:06Do you ever experience big emotions that are difficult to control?
00:11Do you ever feel angry, sad, anxious, worried, frustrated, depressed, or any combination
00:17of these stressful emotions?
00:19Today you will learn how to manage big emotions in three simple steps.
00:24Number one, notice and identify your feelings.
00:28Number two, think about coping skills you can use to feel better.
00:32Number three, take action by practicing one or more coping skills.
00:37Being a kid is fun, but sometimes there are stressful things that cause your emotions
00:41to run wild.
00:43We call these stressful things triggers.
00:46Some triggers might include when you lose at a game or activity, when something embarrassing
00:52or unexpected happens to you in front of your friends, when you want to go out to play,
00:57but you have to stay in and do your chores, or even when you are hungry or tired.
01:03What are some of the things that trigger your big emotions?
01:06The first step to managing big emotions is to notice and identify the emotions you are
01:11feeling.
01:12Sometimes taking a moment to stop and think about how you are feeling is enough to identify
01:17your emotions.
01:18Other times, you might have a hard time knowing what you're feeling.
01:22If you're having trouble identifying your emotions, you can use visual tools, such as
01:27a feelings chart, feelings wheel, or feelings thermometer.
01:31To help you better understand the emotion you are feeling, it can be helpful to ask
01:35yourself three important questions.
01:38Number one, what am I thinking?
01:40Maybe you're thinking about how you're going to fail your big test tomorrow, or about how
01:45much you hate doing your chores.
01:47Your negative thoughts often cause negative emotions, so noticing your thoughts can be
01:52the first step to managing your emotions.
01:54Number two, what do I feel in my body?
01:57Do you feel your face getting hot, your heart beating faster, or butterflies in your stomach?
02:03If you notice the feelings and sensations in your body, this can be a helpful signal
02:08that you need to do something to calm down.
02:11Number three, how do I act when I feel this way?
02:14Am I arguing and yelling?
02:16Am I shutting down and refusing to talk?
02:18Am I avoiding an important task?
02:21Your actions can be another key signal letting you know that your emotions are rising, and
02:26it's time to use a coping skill.
02:28After identifying and naming your emotions, next you want to think of coping skills you
02:32can use to feel better.
02:34It can be helpful to break down coping skills into four categories.
02:38Number one, relaxation skills.
02:41These are things you can do to relax your brain and body.
02:44Number two, distraction skills.
02:47These are things you can do to get your mind off of your stressful emotion.
02:51The key to distraction skills is to not just escape the stressful situation, but instead
02:57to take some time to get your mind off of the big emotion, and then return feeling calm
03:02and under control.
03:03Number three, movement skills.
03:06These are things you can do to move your body, to physically release the stressful emotion.
03:11Number four, thinking skills.
03:13These can be encouraging statements you say to yourself or questions you ask yourself
03:17to challenge your negative thoughts.
03:20If you use a feelings thermometer to help you identify how you are feeling, this can
03:24help you select the best coping skills to manage your emotions.
03:28For example, if you're feeling sad or disappointed, you might use different coping skills than
03:34if you're feeling frustrated or angry.
03:36If you're sad, you might do something to lift your mood up, but if you're angry, you
03:40might do something to calm yourself down.
03:43Sometimes you can use the same coping skills to manage different emotions.
03:47For example, you might be feeling nervous for a test, so you take some deep breaths
03:52to calm down.
03:53Or you might be feeling angry that you don't get to play the game you want at recess, and
03:58you might also take some deep breaths to calm down.
04:01If you are having trouble thinking of coping skills, ask an adult for help.
04:05The final step to manage your big emotions is to take action by practicing one or more
04:11coping skills.
04:12Be prepared to practice different coping skills for different situations.
04:16Imagine having an invisible tool belt of coping skills.
04:19If you were building a house and you needed a screwdriver, you wouldn't want to get stuck
04:24with only a hammer.
04:26This is why we need different tools for different situations.
04:29It can take a lot of courage to take action, but the more you practice, the easier it will
04:34get.
04:35If one coping skill does not work, then move on to another until you find the right combination
04:41of coping skills to help you feel better.
04:43It's important to remember that all feelings are okay.
04:47It's what you do with them that matters.
04:50So the next time you feel stressful emotions, big or small, remember to number one, identify
04:56your feelings.
04:58Number two, think about coping skills you can use to feel better.
05:02Number three, take action by practicing one or more coping skills.
05:06And remember, the more you practice, the easier it will get.
05:10If you found this video helpful, don't forget to share, like, and subscribe.
05:14For more social, emotional, and mental health resources for kids and teens, including visually
05:19appealing worksheets, handouts, posters, and infographics, please visit www.MentalHealthCenterKids.com.