1989 Fast Food Jim Varney FULL HOT MOVIE
Auggie Hamilton (Clark Brandon) is always looking for ways to earn a quick buck. When he learns that his friend Samantha Brooks (Tracy Griffith) is going to sell her garage to fast food king Wrangler Bob Bundy (Jim Varney) he comes up with one more scheme, to turn the garage into a burger joint.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30You're on my mind.
00:00:32I trust you and nobody else.
00:00:39Girl, you're my obsession.
00:00:41Don't know how much I can take.
00:00:44I'm addicted to perfection.
00:00:46You're a habit I can't break.
00:00:49The next time I see you, there's something I've got to say.
00:00:56Yeah.
00:00:58I want your body.
00:01:00I want your body, girl.
00:01:03I want your body.
00:01:05I know I need a girl like you.
00:01:08I want your body.
00:01:10I want your body, girl.
00:01:17What's up, everybody?
00:01:18What's up?
00:01:19California!
00:01:20Yeah!
00:01:25Wait on me till my baby comes.
00:01:29Wait on me till my baby comes.
00:01:32We will sail on the moon.
00:01:35We will hide from the stars.
00:01:38You and me.
00:01:42We will take our sweet time.
00:01:44We will take it too hard.
00:01:46That's what they mean by stupid.
00:01:49Woo!
00:01:50Well, those Friday nights, we're gonna make it up,
00:01:53shake it up, make it up, break it.
00:01:55It takes all night, all night, all night.
00:01:59Oh, the weekend comes.
00:02:01We can burn it up, burn it up, turn it up, burn it.
00:02:04It takes all night.
00:02:05We're moving so tight.
00:02:06This life's all right, all right.
00:02:08Wait on me.
00:02:11Oh!
00:02:12Bye for me.
00:02:16Monday morning comes on.
00:02:19Big boss man is still around.
00:02:22You and me.
00:02:26I want to live in my mind.
00:02:28I want to live for you, yeah.
00:02:31These are for the only first nations.
00:02:34Those Friday nights, we're gonna give it up,
00:02:37live it up, give it up.
00:02:39It takes all night, all night, all night.
00:02:42Oh, the weekend comes.
00:02:45We can burn it up, burn it up, turn it up, burn it.
00:02:48It takes all night.
00:02:49We're moving so tight.
00:02:50This life's all right, all right.
00:02:52Wait on me.
00:02:54On your marks.
00:02:57OK, guys.
00:02:58That's two cowpenny milk, large buffalo chips,
00:03:01brown cookies, and a dust bowl shake.
00:03:038.57.
00:03:04Wait on me.
00:03:05You know, Artemis, Artemis gets a lot
00:03:07to sell this kind of crap.
00:03:09Wait on me.
00:03:10Wait on me.
00:03:13Wait on me till my baby comes.
00:03:18Wait on me till my baby comes.
00:03:22Wait on me till my baby comes.
00:03:26You heard the order, everyone.
00:03:27Copy from me.
00:03:28This one is hot and loaded.
00:03:30Hot and loaded?
00:03:40I need to talk to you about that loan.
00:03:53I told you, man.
00:03:54Kappa Kappa is a charitable organization.
00:03:55If I give a loan after every pledge who loses his allowance at the crap table, I'll never
00:04:02survive.
00:04:03I'm on scholarship.
00:04:04I don't get an allowance.
00:04:05All I need is 20 bucks.
00:04:06Sonny, take some advice from me, buddy.
00:04:07Next time you get some money in your pocket, call a girl, go to a movie, go out to dinner,
00:04:08but don't come back to the dungeon.
00:04:09Yo, Sonny.
00:04:10I hear Ray Cheney's running hot on the roulette wheel tonight.
00:04:11Thanks.
00:04:12I'll see you later.
00:04:13Bye.
00:04:14Bye.
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00:09:05표
00:09:06It's not so bad for a night's work, it would have been better if the dean hadn't shut
00:09:16us down, because you didn't help anything you tried to hose his daughter.
00:09:24I don't know guess I'll think of something right now. I got more important business
00:09:36Where are we going let's just say to witness a major medical miracle, huh?
00:09:40Do you think these girls are old enough on me? I certainly look it but maybe we better check their IDs at the door
00:09:46Don't worry. There's oxygen if you feel faint
00:09:49Calvin enter that last figure again, please. Yes, dr. Duran
00:09:54Still no change. Oh, this is amazing
00:09:58Dr. Duran, how's the world of medical research going?
00:10:03Don't you see these patients are sleeping you're all gonna have to get out of here
00:10:06Oh, but I want to see first you promise. Hey, it's not often these girls get to see a room full of the
00:10:12tall timber
00:10:13These men are suffering from a very serious abnormality called priapism
00:10:17Prior what priapism is the state of constant erection. There must be thousands of young men who suffer from this condition
00:10:24Funny, I never met one. Oh, dr. Duran is very close to isolating the enzyme which causes the problem. That's right, Cheryl
00:10:30Someday soon. It'll be safe for these young men to wear tight jeans
00:10:41This is better than Chippendales I want you people
00:10:54I
00:11:00Have never seen anything like it. I mean it just stood there and looked at me
00:11:05I mean just think stays like that forever
00:11:11Well, what do you girls want to do now we could go back to your place
00:11:24You
00:11:34Boys have built up quite a record here at Hopkins. Mr. Hamilton
00:11:44You've been here eight years
00:11:48Mr. Taylor
00:11:51Mr. Taylor
00:11:53You've been here longer than I have
00:11:56Where where should I begin?
00:11:58scalping football tickets
00:12:01fixing the university's beauty pageants
00:12:05Barbecuing the Alpha Phi is mascot goat
00:12:08This goes on for pages here
00:12:11Here's one of my favorites
00:12:14The freshmen survival kit hey, but that was a good idea
00:12:19for $50 you sold them a case of beer and a
00:12:22Party pack of condoms. It's all in the packaging sir on who could forget the drill team video
00:12:31What's wrong with that?
00:12:32You could have at least asked their permission before setting up a hidden camera in their dressing room
00:12:37You see we wanted to get them natural no posing
00:12:40Right
00:12:42Let's face it gentlemen
00:12:44You're losers
00:12:46Just a couple of small-time con men. I've given you every opportunity, but you let me down
00:12:55But more importantly
00:12:58You let yourselves down
00:13:01I'm afraid there is no longer any place for you here at this University. So as of today consider yourselves
00:13:09Graduated
00:13:12Graduated thank God forgive me for setting you two clowns loose on society
00:13:22Unbelievable man
00:13:24Now I gotta pay back that student loan
00:13:27graduation
00:13:28Hear about it, but you never think it's gonna happen to you
00:13:31Hey, we gotta figure out what to do do
00:13:34Augie we've been in college eight years. We're not qualified to do anything
00:13:39Hold on a minute. We started hundreds of businesses. We made lots of money these last eight years haven't we?
00:13:45Yeah, well, all we got to do is apply what we learned in college to the real world
00:13:49You mean run a scam?
00:13:51Yeah, but in the real world they call it a job. Oh
00:13:56Man what I told Sam I'd come over and help her at the station today forgot gotta go
00:14:04Wait up
00:14:07Speak to me
00:14:10Send him on in and growl all my calls, honey. I don't want any interruptions
00:14:16Come on any day sit down
00:14:24EG right here Hopkins College full of young hungry students love to eat fast food
00:14:32And over here more than 20 blocks away is Wrangler Bob's number
00:14:37194 and in between you got your pizza joints your taco joints and you roast beef joints
00:14:44Now as they drive from point a the college to point me us
00:14:50They're young and impressionable minds are likely to stray
00:14:54now
00:14:55Right here
00:14:56It's a little piss and filling station right next to the college
00:15:01It's perfectly clear to me do you understand what I'm saying?
00:15:07Let me see if I got this straight. There's this filling station next to the college
00:15:12I won't that piece of property EG and I don't care what we have to do to get it
00:15:17Have a nice day
00:15:21Come on lighten up we're just leaving school not the planet. Yeah, but to live on this planet, unfortunately, you have to have a job
00:15:27Oh a job be like working at Sam's filling station. You call that a job. That's not my job
00:15:32Come on, your cousin pays you nothing and you do all the work. Don't don't start on Sam again
00:15:37Since her father died. She needs my help. I'm just helping her out. Okay?
00:15:45Man I'm gonna miss this place
00:15:57I
00:16:16What was that man didn't Sam tell you she's selling the place
00:16:19Samantha
00:16:21What says you're thinking about selling the station? Yeah, well, I'm thinking about it. What what is he doing here?
00:16:27Didn't you know I was his friend just to get to you?
00:16:29Yeah, well, it's working. You really get to me
00:16:31Can I help you? Yes, go with that, please
00:16:33So, uh, you mind if I look under your hood
00:16:35No, I don't mind
00:16:37You know, I don't mind
00:16:39You know, I don't mind
00:16:41You know, I don't mind
00:16:43You know, I don't mind
00:16:45You know, I don't mind
00:16:47Mind if I look under your hood? No, I'm fine
00:16:54Look Sam, I know you've had a tough time lately. You just can't sell the place
00:17:01Don't you have somewhere else to be like in custody Jim only trying to help
00:17:07Uncle Joe loves this little place. It's a landmark probably listed in the Historical Register or something
00:17:13Drew, you don't understand. I can't handle it anymore.
00:17:17I've got nothing but bills. The insurance is due.
00:17:20The bank is on my back.
00:17:22I don't even have enough money to put gas in the tanks.
00:17:26Samantha, we've had close calls before.
00:17:31You can make this work. We can help.
00:17:33Drew, do you think I want to run a gas station the rest of my life?
00:17:39Why don't you head south? Maybe buy a dress or something.
00:17:42Get a little make-up.
00:17:45Now, Drew, listen. He's made me a pretty good offer.
00:17:48Who made you an offer?
00:17:50Wrangler Bob.
00:17:52Howdy, friends and neighbors. This is your buddy Wrangler Bob.
00:17:56And you know, there's nothing better than gathering family and friends together
00:18:00around the old backyard grill and sizzling up some meat.
00:18:04And I know when you think about fast food,
00:18:07you think about something that would choke a possum.
00:18:10Not so at Wrangler Bob's.
00:18:12Each one of our Texas-style burgers is charbroiled over an open flame just for you.
00:18:19So come on over to our house.
00:18:21I have 750 of them.
00:18:24And bring the young'uns. I love kids.
00:18:27And cut!
00:18:29Okay, we said rock.
00:18:31Which one of you rockets I just thought about bringing that dog in here?
00:18:34Great. I want to do just one more.
00:18:37Well, if it's great, why do I have to do one more?
00:18:39That was just the first take.
00:18:41Listen, we have to do another take.
00:18:43It's going to be you I'm grabbing.
00:18:46I think I have all I need.
00:18:48Thank you, Mr. Bundy.
00:18:50E.G.
00:18:51That's a wrap.
00:18:53Uh, there's a slight problem with that property.
00:18:59The young woman needs time to think.
00:19:05Time is money, E.G.
00:19:09I am Wrangler Bob Bundy, for crying out loud.
00:19:13I serve 90 tons of beef,
00:19:15180,000 pounds of french fries,
00:19:1850,000 gallons of chili,
00:19:20and a truckload of mom's hard apple pie
00:19:23to America 365 days a year.
00:19:26Why can't I get what I want?
00:19:28I have always gotten what I wanted.
00:19:30Even as a child.
00:19:32My parents were afraid to deny me anything.
00:19:35That was shortly after my brother mysteriously disappeared.
00:19:38But, boss, I...
00:19:40E.G., how difficult can this be?
00:19:43You're being pushed around by a 16-year-old girl.
00:19:46She's 25.
00:19:47You were a fullback for Dallas.
00:19:50Oh, I was drafted in an off year.
00:19:53I didn't play that much. I sat on the bench.
00:19:55E.G., do you have any idea
00:19:57how much a Wrangler Bob's restaurant
00:19:59could make in that location?
00:20:01I don't care that one.
00:20:03A lot.
00:20:04Now I want you to get over there and corral that filly,
00:20:07even if it means
00:20:09offering her more money.
00:20:14Maybe Wrangler Bob is right.
00:20:16Maybe this would be a good location for a restaurant.
00:20:18I don't think she should sell.
00:20:20Maybe we could do it.
00:20:21Do what?
00:20:23Open a restaurant.
00:20:24Augie, are you on drugs?
00:20:26No, no, no.
00:20:27Look, if Wrangler Bob thinks it's a good place for a restaurant,
00:20:29well, maybe he's on to something.
00:20:31I mean, those big companies do lots of marketing, research.
00:20:33That's a good point.
00:20:34Forget it.
00:20:35I'm not listening to another one of your get-rich-quick scams.
00:20:38Come on, Sam.
00:20:40Yeah, well, you remember the sorority car wash?
00:20:42Come on, that was a great idea.
00:20:44Oh, you didn't tell me they'd be washing cars in the nude.
00:20:47I mean, I almost got locked up.
00:20:49Yeah, but this is different.
00:20:50This is a legitimate business.
00:20:51We could make a fortune.
00:20:52Make a fortune?
00:20:54It's all I can do to keep this place afloat,
00:20:56and you're talking about opening a restaurant.
00:20:58I mean, do you have any idea
00:21:00how much money that would take?
00:21:02Is that all you're worried about?
00:21:04Augie, wake up and smell the coffee.
00:21:09She likes the idea.
00:21:17Calvin?
00:21:18Dr. Duran, what happened?
00:21:19I was working on the priapism formula.
00:21:21There was an explosion. I...
00:21:22Oh, I feel...
00:21:23Here, you better sit down.
00:21:26Are you all right?
00:21:27I feel strange.
00:21:28Oh, my. I better call an ambulance.
00:21:32Hello? Hello?
00:21:34We need an ambulance over at Hopkins University immediately.
00:21:37It's an emergency.
00:21:38No, no, no, that's Hopkins with an H.
00:21:40Wait, wait, wait, don't put me on hold.
00:21:42Oh, perfect.
00:21:43Don't worry, I'm sure you'll just be...
00:21:45I'm dressing.
00:21:47Oh, my.
00:21:48I don't need an ambulance, Calvin.
00:21:50I need you.
00:21:51Oh, my.
00:21:53Dr. Duran, but this was not my job description.
00:21:56It is now.
00:21:57Oh, my.
00:21:59I hope I get credit for this.
00:22:01I think.
00:22:02Okay, I can come with you.
00:22:06Hey, Calvin.
00:22:08Calvin?
00:22:11He must be here. Everything's gone.
00:22:20Argy, look at this, man.
00:22:22Calvin's on TV.
00:22:26Calvin?
00:22:28I don't know what channel that is.
00:22:30What are you doing?
00:22:32Just hold still. Come on.
00:22:38That's great, man. How do you do that?
00:22:41What happened, Calvin?
00:22:43Oh, man. It was amazing, guys.
00:22:45Dr. Duran was working on the priapism formula.
00:22:47She must have accidentally inhaled the fumes.
00:22:49Next thing I know, she's ripping off her clothes.
00:22:52And mine.
00:22:54Guys, I've never been with a woman so turned on.
00:22:56Calvin, you've never been with a woman.
00:22:58Oh, yeah. Right.
00:23:00Come on. We need to use your computer.
00:23:02Wow.
00:23:06I need you to pull alumni records.
00:23:08No problem. I'll just tap into the databank.
00:23:12Anything particular?
00:23:14How about Kappa Kappas and banking?
00:23:16No problem.
00:23:22Okay. Scanning the alumni records.
00:23:28Wait. Here's one.
00:23:30Here's our man, loan officer at Federal Bank.
00:23:33What's all this about?
00:23:35I'll explain later. Let's go.
00:23:40Augie, you can't just put on a suit and tie
00:23:43and think you can walk into a bank and they'll hand you money.
00:23:46That ain't the way it works.
00:23:48Don't worry. I got it handled. I'm a money guy.
00:23:50We talk the same language.
00:23:52A man can get anything he wants
00:23:54as long as he knows how to ask for it.
00:23:56A loan?
00:23:58Totally out of the question.
00:24:00This is a bank, isn't it?
00:24:02We may be a bank,
00:24:04but we certainly don't make loans to the unemployed.
00:24:07You must have standing in the community.
00:24:09Net worth.
00:24:11A J-O-B job.
00:24:13So what you're saying is if I don't need the money,
00:24:15you'll be happy to give me a loan?
00:24:17Exactly.
00:24:19But you haven't heard the entire proposal yet.
00:24:21I don't need to. You have no job, no credit, no money.
00:24:25But if I get the loan, then I'll have a job.
00:24:27I am sorry. Good day.
00:24:31You're right.
00:24:33A Kappa Kappa never relies on anyone for help.
00:24:35He blazes his own trail.
00:24:37Kappa Kappa?
00:24:39You're kidding. I'm a Kappa.
00:24:41No.
00:24:43Well, in that case, have a seat.
00:24:45I am always eager to help out a fraternity, brother.
00:24:47You realize, of course,
00:24:49the bank will need some sort of collateral
00:24:51for a loan of this size.
00:24:54Collateral?
00:24:56Tangibles. Stocks, bonds.
00:24:58What about this service station?
00:25:00Do you own this property?
00:25:02No, but I represent the owner.
00:25:04Naturally.
00:25:06We will need the owner's signature.
00:25:08That's no problem.
00:25:24You know these two?
00:25:34Whoa!
00:25:38Hey, hey, now, hold on. Come on.
00:25:40It was just an accident.
00:25:42You don't need this.
00:25:44Hey, why don't you just high-tail it out of here?
00:25:46Mr. McCormick, you better go.
00:25:48I'll sign these and bring them to you later.
00:25:50Just please be sure you do.
00:25:52I gotta have these back today.
00:25:54Now, Wrangler Bob's a patient man,
00:25:56but he won't wait forever.
00:25:58Come on, guys.
00:26:00You mean after all my hard work,
00:26:02you were just gonna take the money and run?
00:26:04This is none of your business, Augie,
00:26:06so stay out of my face.
00:26:08This is great, Sam.
00:26:10Hey, wait a second. We gotta talk. Hold on.
00:26:12You guys, please leave me alone.
00:26:14Sam, would you just listen a minute?
00:26:16Peace your eyes on this.
00:26:18Now you don't have to sell.
00:26:20Yeah, well, where did you manage
00:26:22to steal that much money?
00:26:24Come on. I robbed a filling station.
00:26:26Look, we have been through all this before.
00:26:28Now it is time for me to live my own life.
00:26:30Now, I'm sorry if this doesn't fit in with your plans,
00:26:32but I have made my decision.
00:26:34You're just being stubborn,
00:26:36just like you have always been.
00:26:38No, I am being realistic, like you have never been.
00:26:40You know why your father never sold this place?
00:26:42I mean, look around.
00:26:44You may see a run-down filling station,
00:26:46but he saw a dream, his own business.
00:26:48You can't sell a dream, Sam.
00:26:50That's just it, Drew.
00:26:52This isn't my dream.
00:27:02Is this fixed yet, bud?
00:27:04Just a little dirt and a fuel line.
00:27:06Oh, thanks. Go into the city.
00:27:08I'll be back in a little while.
00:27:10You okay, Sammy?
00:27:12Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I don't know.
00:27:14I'm just tired, bud.
00:27:16I'm tired of everybody telling me what to do.
00:27:18Nobody could ever tell you what to do,
00:27:20even one of you little girl and pigtails.
00:27:24I just feel like I'm letting Pop down.
00:27:28I don't want to fail.
00:27:30I think Pop would want you to give it your best shot.
00:27:32Don't worry, Sammy.
00:27:34You'll do the right thing.
00:27:36Thanks, bud.
00:27:46Roll camera.
00:27:48Mark it.
00:27:50Marker.
00:27:54And action.
00:27:56Howdy, friends and neighbors.
00:27:58This is your old buddy, Wrangler Bob.
00:28:00How's that chili, partners?
00:28:02Chili pretty good, Wrangler Bob.
00:28:04Cut, cut, for God's sake.
00:28:06Give me five minutes. Five minutes.
00:28:08Take five.
00:28:10This better be important, E.G.
00:28:12I got 12 more of these to do today.
00:28:14It's the contract, boss.
00:28:16Boss, I'll have it signed and on your desk this afternoon.
00:28:18Now you're cooking with gas, E.G.
00:28:20You know, I offered that old man good money
00:28:22for that property, but he wouldn't sell.
00:28:24Well, the old coot didn't know diarrhea
00:28:26from a chocolate shake.
00:28:28Now the groundhogs are bringing his mail,
00:28:30and that little old man's got to get out of here.
00:28:32You know, E.G.,
00:28:34I don't think I'll ever be able to get out of here.
00:28:36I don't think I'll ever be able to get out of here.
00:28:38The groundhogs are bringing his mail,
00:28:40and that little filly's gonna sell us that property
00:28:42for pocket change.
00:28:44Just goes to show you, E.G.,
00:28:46there's nothing money won't buy.
00:28:48That's what I like about America.
00:28:50Mr. Bundy.
00:28:52Not now, sweetheart.
00:28:54No autographs. We're talking business.
00:28:56I know, boss. This is Samantha Davis,
00:28:58the owner of the...
00:29:00You know, the little filly, the old coot's daughter?
00:29:02I'd like to thank you.
00:29:04Thank me?
00:29:06I almost did a really stupid thing.
00:29:08But now I know
00:29:10why Pop would never sell to people like you.
00:29:14And another thing, Mr. Bundy, you're wrong.
00:29:16There are some things that money can't buy.
00:29:20Like dreams.
00:29:26Nah.
00:29:36Here you go.
00:29:38On top page, part-time work.
00:29:40A roving instructor.
00:29:42We'll do that.
00:29:46Don't just sit there.
00:29:48We're gonna open a restaurant, and we have a lot of work to do.
00:29:50Sam, what are you talking about?
00:29:52Read my lips.
00:29:54We're gonna take the check and kick Wrangler Bob's
00:29:56scrawny little butt.
00:29:58All right.
00:30:00Do it!
00:30:02The guys are disgusting.
00:30:04The food here is.
00:30:06Me, I like it, except when the sauce drips on my shirt.
00:30:08Hey, you know, it's a good idea.
00:30:10We could use a secret sauce.
00:30:12Maybe Calvin can help us on it. I'll give him a call.
00:30:14Why are we doing this?
00:30:16Research.
00:30:18Look, the food here stinks,
00:30:20but his restaurants are hugely successful.
00:30:22And why?
00:30:24Because Wrangler Bob has a theme.
00:30:26Let's get his name.
00:30:28Exactly.
00:30:30Any ideas?
00:30:34What about a service station?
00:30:48Ice cold beer here!
00:30:50What is going on here? I've been gone an hour,
00:30:52and this place is out of control.
00:30:54I asked some friends over to help with the renovation.
00:30:56Help? Who's helping? This is a party.
00:30:58You get kicked out of college,
00:31:00and you think you've found a new place to entertain your friends.
00:31:02Relax, Sam.
00:31:04Haven't you ever heard of Tom Sawyer and the whitewashed fence?
00:31:28I'm sorry.
00:31:30I'm sorry.
00:31:32I'm sorry.
00:31:34I'm sorry.
00:31:36I'm sorry.
00:31:38I'm sorry.
00:31:40I'm sorry.
00:31:42I'm sorry.
00:31:44I'm sorry.
00:31:46I'm sorry.
00:31:48I'm sorry.
00:31:50I'm sorry.
00:31:52I'm sorry.
00:31:54I'm sorry.
00:31:56I'm sorry.
00:31:58I'm sorry.
00:32:00I'm sorry.
00:32:02I'm sorry.
00:32:04I'm sorry.
00:32:06I'm sorry.
00:32:08I'm sorry.
00:32:10I'm sorry.
00:32:12I'm sorry.
00:32:14I'm sorry.
00:32:16I'm sorry.
00:32:18I'm sorry.
00:32:20I'm sorry.
00:32:22I'm sorry.
00:32:24I'm sorry.
00:32:54I'm sorry.
00:32:56I'm sorry.
00:32:58I'm sorry.
00:33:00I'm sorry.
00:33:02I'm sorry.
00:33:04I'm sorry.
00:33:06I'm sorry.
00:33:08I'm sorry.
00:33:10I'm sorry.
00:33:12I'm sorry.
00:33:14I'm sorry.
00:33:16I'm sorry.
00:33:18I'm sorry.
00:33:20I'm sorry.
00:33:22I'm sorry.
00:33:24I'm sorry.
00:33:26I'm sorry.
00:33:28I'm sorry.
00:33:30I'm sorry.
00:33:32I'm sorry.
00:33:34I'm sorry.
00:33:36I'm sorry.
00:33:38I'm sorry.
00:33:40I'm sorry.
00:33:42I'm sorry.
00:33:44I'm sorry.
00:33:46I'm sorry.
00:33:48I'm sorry.
00:33:50I'm sorry.
00:33:52I'm sorry.
00:33:54I'm sorry.
00:33:56I'm sorry.
00:33:58I'm sorry.
00:34:00I'm sorry.
00:34:02I'm sorry.
00:34:04I'm sorry.
00:34:06I'm sorry.
00:34:08I'm sorry.
00:34:10I'm sorry.
00:34:12I'm sorry.
00:34:14I'm sorry.
00:34:16I'm sorry.
00:34:18We're trying our first burger with Calvin sauce on it.
00:34:20Want to join us?
00:34:22Hey.
00:34:24What's wrong, partner?
00:34:26Partner? Partner?
00:34:28Uggy, partners work together.
00:34:30I mean, they share their decisions, they share their responsibilities.
00:34:32I haven't felt a part of this place
00:34:34since you and Drew just took over.
00:34:36It's kind of like when we dated.
00:34:38You have no respect for me.
00:34:40Dated?
00:34:42Come on, Sam, we only went out one time.
00:34:44I know that. I know that.
00:34:46It was a total disaster.
00:34:48Look, Uggy, let's just face it.
00:34:50You and I just don't get along.
00:34:52You know, Sam, we've all worked damn hard
00:34:54trying to put this place together.
00:34:56But I'm tired of your attitude.
00:34:58You know, you're on your own.
00:35:00But don't worry about me, because I'm a survivor.
00:35:02There's a lot of things out in the real world
00:35:04that Uggy Hamilton can do.
00:35:06Yeah, well, anyways,
00:35:08no matter how much hard work or time I've invested,
00:35:10I'm out of here.
00:35:12So go.
00:35:14What's happening?
00:35:16I'm opening my door,
00:35:18and the next time you'll hear is me starting my engine.
00:35:20I'm history.
00:35:22I'm out of here. A memory.
00:35:24A memory.
00:35:42Were you calling me?
00:35:44I swore I thought I heard you calling me out there.
00:35:46I mean, it might have been the wind, but maybe you were calling me.
00:35:48Uggy, let's have some burgers.
00:35:54Here's our first batch of burgers
00:35:56with Calvin's sauce on it. Dig in.
00:35:58No, no, I'm too nervous.
00:36:00It's pretty good.
00:36:02Great. Better than Wrangler Bob's.
00:36:04What do you think?
00:36:06I think as burgers go, they're not bad.
00:36:08Calvin, you did a great job.
00:36:10Everybody did.
00:36:12That's because we have something that Wrangler Bob doesn't.
00:36:14A desperate need to succeed.
00:36:16Yes.
00:36:18Here's to Pop's Burger Station.
00:36:20Hip, hip, hooray!
00:36:22Yay.
00:36:44Hold on, E.G.
00:36:46Wait till my quarter runs out.
00:36:48What's this?
00:36:50Grand opening, Pop's Burger Station.
00:36:52I am losing my sense of humor, E.G.
00:36:58You know, I told you
00:37:00you should have just let me lean on her
00:37:02with a cattle prod or something.
00:37:04Well, thank goodness I don't hire you to thank me.
00:37:08I run a respectable corporation here, E.G.
00:37:10We don't have to resort to intimidation
00:37:12to get what we want.
00:37:14All it takes is a little finesse.
00:37:16Something subtle.
00:37:20Looks like it's time for Wrangler Bob
00:37:22to get personally involved.
00:37:26E.G., you have change for a dollar.
00:37:42Where do you suppose everybody is?
00:37:44Maybe we should just give them a little more time.
00:37:46We've been saying that for hours.
00:37:48It takes a while for a new establishment to catch on.
00:37:50Let's just relax, huh?
00:37:52Something is definitely wrong here.
00:37:54I mean, we haven't had one customer all day.
00:37:56Where is everybody?
00:38:08What?
00:38:10Don't look now, but here he comes.
00:38:12Here he comes.
00:38:18We're here, boss.
00:38:20Hi, Buckaroo and Buckarette.
00:38:22Hey, kids.
00:38:36I see him. I see him.
00:38:42Well, well, well.
00:38:44It's a nice little
00:38:46establishment you got here.
00:38:48Is there something we can get for you?
00:38:50Oh, I didn't come here to get anything.
00:38:52I came here to give you something.
00:38:54A little advice.
00:38:56You see, this is America.
00:38:58And America was built
00:39:00on fast food.
00:39:02Those golden arches are our foundation.
00:39:04The very cornerstone
00:39:06of our greatness.
00:39:08And it takes more than just
00:39:10a good location to make it
00:39:12in the fast food business.
00:39:14It takes, uh,
00:39:16marketing surveys,
00:39:18demographic studies, product positioning,
00:39:20price per unit on volume
00:39:22generated, franchise overhead.
00:39:24Well, that's got nothing
00:39:26to do with food.
00:39:28Well, you've pretty much proven that.
00:39:30Well, thank you.
00:39:32Now, I don't want to rain on
00:39:34y'all's parade, but you see,
00:39:36y'all are just a little bit of
00:39:38a mess in this business.
00:39:40So little, in fact, that
00:39:42if you're not careful, you're liable to get
00:39:44stepped on.
00:39:46So don't fight me.
00:39:48Y'all can't win.
00:39:50Now, these badges will make you
00:39:52official deputies of mine.
00:39:54And they're good for one free
00:39:56small soda at any Wrangler Bob's
00:39:58locations. Tax not
00:40:00included. Boy, we're prohibited
00:40:02by law.
00:40:04So, remember,
00:40:06little piss ants never win.
00:40:08Have a nice day.
00:40:14Uh, we're
00:40:16just not making it.
00:40:18Why don't you give me some numbers?
00:40:20Forty-three dollars
00:40:22and twenty-eight cents.
00:40:24That's not a very good day.
00:40:26That's the total for the
00:40:28week. A week?
00:40:32Maybe Wrangler Bob was right.
00:40:34Maybe we're in
00:40:36over our heads here.
00:40:38Yeah, maybe.
00:40:40The question is, what are we going to do about it?
00:40:48Hi.
00:40:50Can I help you? Can I speak to the manager, please?
00:40:52Oh, yes. Perhaps I can be of service?
00:40:54Actually, I'm the person that you should talk to.
00:40:56Um, Sam, why don't you put these in the back?
00:40:58Give me a second.
00:41:00Okay.
00:41:08Mary Beth Benson.
00:41:10Delta Nu Pi sorority.
00:41:12I'm Kappa Kappa myself.
00:41:14Augie Hamilton.
00:41:16Yes, I've heard of you.
00:41:18Um, anyway, we're holding our
00:41:20annual fall cotillion tomorrow,
00:41:22and at the last minute, our regular caterer fell out.
00:41:24We're having some difficulty
00:41:26locating a replacement on such short notice.
00:41:28So we decided to serve,
00:41:30shall we say,
00:41:32a common meal.
00:41:34Do you think you could accommodate a small guest list?
00:41:36Say 150?
00:41:38People?
00:41:40Yes.
00:41:42Uh, that's tomorrow, right?
00:41:44Tomorrow.
00:41:46Well, I think we could fit you in.
00:41:48Good. We'll be there at 3 p.m.
00:41:50sharp.
00:41:52And could you make sure your help is
00:41:54clean and suitably attired?
00:41:56Absolutely. No problem.
00:41:58Good. Thank you.
00:42:06Now that is how to make a sale.
00:42:08All because of me, it seems that our luck is changing.
00:42:10I wouldn't count on it, Augie.
00:42:12Here's your shake.
00:42:18Augie,
00:42:20you know, when the Delta Nu Pi's throw a party,
00:42:22everyone on campus knows about it.
00:42:24We'll handle it.
00:42:26Look, this is a big break, man.
00:42:28You've got to make an ace impression.
00:42:32What?
00:42:34You're not listening to me again, are you?
00:42:36You know, Drew, sometimes I really don't understand women.
00:42:40So what?
00:42:42Take Sam, for instance.
00:42:44I mean, one minute she's really nice, you know, one of the guys.
00:42:46Then all of a sudden she freaks out over nothing.
00:42:48Look, Augie, maybe that's because
00:42:50you treat Sam like one of the guys.
00:42:52What? What is that supposed to mean?
00:42:54Sam has always been funny
00:42:56when it comes to dating and stuff like that.
00:42:58She's very independent.
00:43:00Look, I think she likes you a lot more
00:43:02than she's willing to admit.
00:43:04Go on. Get out of here.
00:43:06Yeah, I don't understand it either.
00:43:08Anyway, we've got a lot more important things to do
00:43:10than worry about your love life.
00:43:12You know, we've got a party tomorrow, 150 people.
00:43:14You said it's no problem.
00:43:16We'll handle it. Come on.
00:43:18Right.
00:43:22That's a slow day.
00:43:24Every day's a slow day since we opened.
00:43:26That's why this party's going to save us.
00:43:28Three racks of buns.
00:43:30Augie, what do you think?
00:43:32I mean, are we going to make it?
00:43:38Well, that's kind of up to you, isn't it?
00:43:40Well, we're in this together.
00:43:42Who would have thought that would have happened?
00:43:46Maybe some things are just meant to be, huh?
00:43:48Well, yeah, I mean...
00:43:50I mean, the way you've handled it,
00:43:52it's been a big job, and you've done it well.
00:43:54I'm impressed.
00:43:56Did Drew put you up to this?
00:43:58Drew? No.
00:44:00No.
00:44:02I'm just worried, Augie.
00:44:04I mean, I've got to make this work.
00:44:06I mean, this is all I have.
00:44:08You and Drew have a college education,
00:44:10but if this fails,
00:44:12I don't know what I'm going to do.
00:44:14I don't know what I'm going to do.
00:44:16If this fails, I don't know what I would do.
00:44:20Don't you worry.
00:44:22Everything's going to be okay, all right?
00:44:28So why don't you go home and get some rest?
00:44:30I've got a million details before tomorrow.
00:44:32Thanks.
00:44:36Don't work too hard.
00:44:46Don't work too hard.
00:45:16Oh, hi, Augie.
00:45:18What's up? Got a batch of that sauce for the new pie party?
00:45:20Yeah. Here it is, all ready to go.
00:45:22All right.
00:45:24Listen, I've been thinking.
00:45:26Why don't you join us tonight? Have a little fun, huh?
00:45:28No, I don't think so.
00:45:30I'm not very good at parties.
00:45:32I spend most of my time here or at the movies.
00:45:34Anyway, I've got a lot of work to catch up on.
00:45:36You've been working too hard lately.
00:45:38Why don't you loosen up a little?
00:45:40Take off the lab coat. Come with us.
00:45:42Come on, it'll be fun.
00:45:44Besides, we could use your help.
00:45:46Come on. All right, if you really need me.
00:45:48Absolutely.
00:45:50So how's your research going, Calvin?
00:45:52Well, I'm analyzing Dr. Duran's love drug.
00:45:56It seems we've discovered a powerful aphrodisiac.
00:45:59Apparently, the substance affects a part of the brain
00:46:01that triggers complete sexual freedom.
00:46:04One whiff and you lose all your inhibitions.
00:46:07I guess that would explain
00:46:09old Hot Pants Duran's reaction, huh?
00:46:11Yeah, old Hot Pants was an animal.
00:46:13Then just like that, eight hours later,
00:46:15the stuff wore off.
00:46:17I guess it's safe.
00:46:21All set. Think this party's gonna be any fun?
00:46:23I'm betting on it, Calvin.
00:46:25Let's go.
00:46:43Hi.
00:47:05Sam.
00:47:07You look...
00:47:09different.
00:47:11I mean, uh...
00:47:13beautiful.
00:47:15Thanks, Augie.
00:47:17You look nice, too.
00:47:23Well, if this is a college party,
00:47:25I certainly haven't missed much.
00:47:27Oh.
00:47:29They're not all like this.
00:47:34Well, should we get to work?
00:47:36Yeah.
00:47:39How could you hire Augie and those incompetents?
00:47:42Donald, I am not going to say this again.
00:47:45For the fifth time.
00:47:49They were the only ones I could get on such short notice.
00:47:51Now shut up and go get me a hamburger.
00:47:53You know I have low blood sugar and I must eat something.
00:47:55You'd be better off passing out.
00:48:02Isn't this party great?
00:48:04Sure thing.
00:48:06These smell good.
00:48:08Don't they? I think I'll just taste one little bite.
00:48:10Sam, what are you doing?
00:48:12What, Augie? I'm having a bite.
00:48:14No, no, no. You're eating up the profits is what you're doing.
00:48:16Now save these for the guests, all right?
00:48:18And let's go. It's dinner time.
00:48:20Are these actually ready to be served?
00:48:22Uh, yes, sir. Here you go.
00:48:30Mmm.
00:48:32This is absolutely the best burger I have ever tasted.
00:48:34Here, try it.
00:48:36Please. You know I don't like red meat.
00:48:38Mother would never allow me to eat it.
00:48:40Mmm.
00:48:42What is wrong with you?
00:48:44I feel strange.
00:48:48Floss?
00:48:52But you always floss.
00:48:54I don't want to floss, Donald.
00:48:56I want to walk on the wild side.
00:49:00We're going to take a little break right now
00:49:02and try some of those delicious burgers.
00:49:08These are great.
00:49:14Wait a minute.
00:49:16I feel a little different.
00:49:18Let's rock and roll!
00:49:32Let's rock and roll!
00:49:34Let's rock and roll!
00:49:36Let's rock and roll!
00:49:38Let's rock and roll!
00:49:40Let's rock and roll!
00:49:42Let's rock and roll!
00:49:44Let's rock and roll!
00:49:46Let's rock and roll!
00:49:48Let's rock and roll!
00:49:50Let's rock and roll!
00:49:52Let's rock and roll!
00:49:54Let's rock and roll!
00:49:56Let's rock and roll!
00:49:58Let's rock and roll!
00:50:00Let's rock and roll!
00:50:02Let's rock and roll!
00:50:04Let's rock and roll!
00:50:06Let's rock and roll!
00:50:08Let's rock and roll!
00:50:10Let's rock and roll!
00:50:12Let's rock and roll!
00:50:14Let's rock and roll!
00:50:16Let's rock and roll!
00:50:18Let's rock and roll!
00:50:20Let's rock and roll!
00:50:22Let's rock and roll!
00:50:24Let's rock and roll!
00:50:26Let's rock and roll!
00:50:28Let's rock and roll!
00:50:30Let's rock and roll!
00:50:32Let's rock and roll!
00:50:34Let's rock and roll!
00:50:36Let's rock and roll!
00:50:38Let's rock and roll!
00:50:40Let's rock and roll!
00:50:42Let's rock and roll!
00:50:44Let's rock and roll!
00:50:46Let's rock and roll!
00:50:48Let's rock and roll!
00:50:50Let's rock and roll!
00:50:52Let's rock and roll!
00:50:54Let's rock and roll!
00:50:56Let's rock and roll!
00:50:58I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:51:28I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:51:58I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:52:28I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:52:58I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:53:13I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:53:23Mary Beth, I know you're in here
00:53:30Mary Beth
00:53:41Mary Beth, don't be afraid
00:53:47Mary Beth
00:53:54Mary Beth
00:53:57Wow, you must be into aerobics
00:54:00I'm a phys ed major Calvin
00:54:02And I'm gonna give you a workout
00:54:06Mary Beth
00:54:08Oh, Batman shorts
00:54:21Mary Beth, are you in here?
00:54:25Mary Beth
00:54:27Oh my God
00:54:32Oh Mary Beth, wait, Mary Beth
00:54:35Hello?
00:54:37Mary Beth
00:54:44Oggy Doggy, they ate all the burgers
00:54:47I mean, we're hit
00:54:48Sam
00:54:49Hey, do you know how hard it is to act like I don't care about you when I really do?
00:54:54Sam, you didn't eat a burger by any chance, did you?
00:54:56No, you told me not to and I didn't
00:54:58Oggy, I wouldn't do anything you didn't tell me to do
00:55:00Sam
00:55:01Now come on, have a drink
00:55:02I mean, let's celebrate, they love us
00:55:04That tastes terrible, what's in it?
00:55:06Oh, I loved Calvin's sauce so much that I mixed it with some tequila and then I ate the whole thing
00:55:11Now come here, Oggy
00:55:12No, Sam, you didn't
00:55:13Come on
00:55:14Sam
00:55:15Oggy, I thought you liked me, don't you want me?
00:55:17Yeah, I mean, no
00:55:18I mean, yes
00:55:19But not like this
00:55:20Who's from Philly?
00:55:50Where are we?
00:56:03Oh, Oggy, God, what have you done?
00:56:06What have I done?
00:56:07What have you done?
00:56:08You know, just when I thought we could be friends, you go and do something like this
00:56:11Oh, Sam, calm down, it's not what you think
00:56:13It's a little more complicated than that
00:56:15No, no, it's very simple
00:56:16I got drunk and you nailed me
00:56:18Oh, nothing happened, trust me
00:56:20Trust you? I don't even like you
00:56:22Well, obviously you liked me last night
00:56:25Hey
00:56:32Give me some Calvin
00:56:44Hey
00:56:45Don't do it
00:56:49What?
00:56:51Have you seen Calvin?
00:56:53Do I look like I've seen Calvin?
00:57:05Calvin
00:57:07Calvin, you in here?
00:57:15Help
00:57:16Help
00:57:17Somebody
00:57:19Anybody out there?
00:57:21Calvin?
00:57:22Oggy?
00:57:23Calvin, what are you doing in here?
00:57:25Freezing my buns off
00:57:27Hurry up and get me off this thing
00:57:29Ow
00:57:30Ow
00:57:32Ow
00:57:33Oggy, couldn't you see I was stuck to that thing?
00:57:36Ow
00:57:37Are you all right?
00:57:39Oh, Oggy, it was beautiful
00:57:41She was like a flower
00:57:43She just kept blossoming and blossoming
00:57:46Who are you talking about?
00:57:48Mary Beth
00:57:49Gosh, Oggy, thanks for inviting me to this party
00:57:52I think I'm in love
00:57:53Mary Beth Benson?
00:57:55Yeah, she's crazy about me
00:57:57Just like, just like Dr. Duran
00:58:01I think we better have a talk, Calvin
00:58:03But first let's get you into the sun and thaw you out, huh?
00:58:07At least the substance metabolizes in several hours
00:58:09Leaving you with just a pounding headache
00:58:12You should never have used it, Oggy
00:58:14Did you not have fun?
00:58:15Isn't that the best night of your life?
00:58:17Yeah, but this is a nightmare
00:58:20If Dr. Duran finds out, I'm gonna be in big trouble
00:58:22I could lose my job
00:58:24But the party was a hit, it was a success
00:58:26Now the burger station will be so popular
00:58:28You won't need that job with Dr. Duran
00:58:29You'll come work for us
00:58:31Oggy, you pulled some crazy stunts before
00:58:33But this isn't like spiking the punch in high school
00:58:35Formula 9 is dangerous stuff
00:58:37It was a gambling out of ten
00:58:39We needed to make a good impression
00:58:40You know what Wrangler Bob says?
00:58:42In business, you need an edge
00:58:43Well, now we got our edge
00:58:44Oh, I don't know, Oggy
00:58:49You don't worry about a thing
00:58:59Oggy, you are lucky no one was here last night
00:59:01But you can't ever use it again
00:59:03Calvin, I need the formula
00:59:05I mean, look at all these people
00:59:06The business will never survive without it
00:59:08No, Oggy
00:59:09Calvin, there's a lot riding on this
00:59:11As soon as we're up and running, I'll stop using it
00:59:13How bad can it be?
00:59:14I don't know
00:59:15It's never been properly tested
00:59:21Can you believe this crowd?
00:59:23We have to open early
00:59:24Yeah
00:59:25Sam, about last night, I want to...
00:59:27Look, it's going to be a very busy day
00:59:28I suggest we keep the talk to a minimum
00:59:30Calvin, will you open up, please?
00:59:32Sure, Sam
00:59:35Whoa, guys, wait, wait, whoa!
00:59:41Open up!
00:59:46Open up!
00:59:57Open up!
01:00:03Open up!
01:00:07Open up!
01:00:11Open up!
01:00:25What a day, man
01:00:27Sam, how'd we do?
01:00:28$5,094
01:00:30Wow!
01:00:32I'm going to drop the cash at the night deposit
01:00:35Good night
01:00:36Good night
01:00:37Good night
01:00:39What's wrong with her?
01:00:41Me? What else?
01:00:43We had a little misunderstanding last night
01:00:46I don't worry about Sam
01:00:47She's probably just tired
01:00:48It's been a long day
01:00:49If this keeps up, we're going to have to hire more help
01:00:52Look, Drew, I wouldn't count on business staying so good
01:00:55Are you kidding?
01:00:56Did you see those people there today?
01:00:57We're a hit!
01:00:58Yeah, but we had a little help
01:01:01I added a dose of Formula 9 to our secret sauce
01:01:05Formula 9?
01:01:06Yeah
01:01:07You know, the stuff that made Dr. Duran go so wild
01:01:11And you used it today?
01:01:13Well, sure
01:01:14What would happen if the crowd didn't get a reaction?
01:01:16We'd be sunk
01:01:17I don't care
01:01:19You can't drug the public
01:01:20That's not the way to run a business, Augie
01:01:22Since when did you get a conscience?
01:01:25I don't know, but I know that's not right
01:01:28What are you going to do, run and tell Sam?
01:01:30No, I'm not going to run and tell Sam
01:01:32I'm not going to have to
01:01:34Because we are not going to use it again
01:01:43More blush, honey
01:01:44Last time, I looked like I was ready for a toe tag
01:01:47You wanted to see me?
01:01:49E.G.?
01:01:51These kids are killing me
01:01:53Business at 194 is down 86%
01:01:56Now, I try to talk nice to that girl
01:01:58But nobody
01:01:59But nobody messes with Wrangler Bob's bottom line
01:02:03This means war
01:02:04Get out, all of you
01:02:05Go on, get out
01:02:07Not you, dummy
01:02:09This means we're going to have to call in reinforcements
01:02:20Hello, Puddin
01:02:21Who's this?
01:02:23This is Daddy Bugs
01:02:24Oh, Daddy Bugs
01:02:26What do you want?
01:02:27What do you want?
01:02:28Are you in the bubble, man?
01:02:30Yeah
01:02:32Let me listen
01:02:35How's that sound?
01:02:36Like heaven, Puddin
01:02:38I got a little job for you
01:02:41No job's too big or too small for you, Wrangler Bob
01:02:44Mystery Lady!
01:03:15Hi there, boys
01:03:16Who's in charge here?
01:03:18I am
01:03:20Well, I'm Dixie Love
01:03:22And I'm looking for employment
01:03:25You mean here?
01:03:27Don't you have some work to do?
01:03:28Yeah
01:03:31You want to work here?
01:03:32Only if I get to wear one of these
01:03:39You know what?
01:03:40Let's go
01:03:41Come on
01:03:46Why does she want to work here, Augie?
01:03:48She's a little polished for this place, don't you think?
01:03:50You have to admit, she'll look great behind a counter
01:03:52Besides, appearance is important
01:03:54You know, why bother even asking me?
01:03:56You've obviously made up your mind already
01:03:58We could all go home
01:03:59You don't need us here
01:04:00You could run this place all by yourself
01:04:03Don't get on me just because she's beautiful, okay?
01:04:06Fine, Augie, just hire her, all right?
01:04:08Get her in a uniform
01:04:09Just leave me alone
01:04:12Ugh
01:04:17She loves you
01:04:18Let's get you in a uniform
01:04:27This place sure got popular in a hurry
01:04:29I reckon it did
01:04:31You know, bud
01:04:33You seem to know an awful lot about the restaurant business
01:04:36I'll bet you're the brains behind this whole operation
01:04:40Why don't you teach me the secret of your success?
01:04:43It's all in the wrist
01:04:45You might say I developed my own style
01:04:49No, bud
01:04:50I mean, how did the burger station get so big so fast?
01:04:55Oh, that
01:04:56We got our own special sauce
01:04:58Well, everybody's got their own special sauce
01:05:01Not like this
01:05:03This makes you horny as a toad
01:05:06Really?
01:05:07Mm
01:05:08In fact, it was so strong that Drew made Augie stop using it
01:05:17Why are you making me do all the work anyway?
01:05:31How you doing?
01:05:33I'm beat
01:05:34It's a long day
01:05:40How's it going?
01:05:41Okay
01:05:43You know, it still seems funny that Pop's not here
01:05:47Yeah, I know
01:05:50I remember when we were little, we'd catch lightning bugs, put them in a jar
01:05:53Mm-hmm
01:05:54Run through the dark
01:05:56And Pop told us they all had little bugs in their mouths
01:06:00And Pop told us they all had little bulbs on the end
01:06:03And we went to the store to buy lightning bug bulbs
01:06:05The man at the store told you there was no such thing?
01:06:07You wouldn't believe him
01:06:08You weren't gonna live without him
01:06:11Oh
01:06:12It was great
01:06:14I can be pretty hard-headed sometimes
01:06:20Sam, if you're still upset about the party, don't be
01:06:23Augie said not to be
01:06:24I mean, Drew, he makes me crazy
01:06:26He walks around like he owns the place and he tells everybody what to do
01:06:31I don't know why you'd hang around that guy
01:06:33I don't
01:06:34I don't think you understand him
01:06:36I mean, he's a good guy
01:06:37He's a good friend of mine
01:06:39Besides, we all went a little crazy that night
01:06:41Yeah, well, you guys felt right at home
01:06:43I mean, I made a complete fool out of myself
01:06:47Well, you can't really blame Augie for that
01:06:50Look, I admit he gets carried away
01:06:53But he means well
01:06:56He really wants this thing to work
01:06:58He's over at the station right now
01:07:01Is he really?
01:07:26Fuck
01:07:56What the fuck?
01:08:22Hmm
01:08:23Dixie!
01:08:24What are you doing here?
01:08:25Oh, yeah, I feel so free.
01:08:26Um, are you all right?
01:08:27Dixie?
01:08:28Augie?
01:08:29Sam?
01:08:30Oh, jeez.
01:08:31Did you feel it, Augie?
01:08:32What's up, kiddo?
01:08:33Augie, where are you?
01:08:34I don't know.
01:08:35I don't know.
01:08:36Dixie?
01:08:37Dixie?
01:08:38Dixie?
01:08:39Dixie?
01:08:40Dixie?
01:08:41Dixie?
01:08:42Dixie?
01:08:43Dixie?
01:08:44Dixie?
01:08:45Dixie?
01:08:46Dixie?
01:08:48Be quiet, OK?
01:08:53Sam?
01:08:54What are you doing here?
01:09:04I was looking for you, actually.
01:09:06Um, Augie, I know I've been acting sort of stupid lately, and, well, about the other
01:09:12night I just wanted to apologize.
01:09:16I think maybe I've been wrong about you.
01:09:18Well, that's fine.
01:09:20Uh, look, I was just leaving.
01:09:22Can I walk you out?
01:09:23Yeah.
01:09:24So beautiful.
01:09:25What was that?
01:09:26Uh, nothing.
01:09:28I'll go.
01:09:29Uh, Sam.
01:09:30It's hard for you.
01:09:32You remember Dixie, huh?
01:09:33Uh, she was just coming.
01:09:35I mean, we were just going.
01:09:37Working late, huh, Augie?
01:09:38Sam, wait.
01:09:41Destiny, okay.
01:09:43I knew you would like this.
01:09:46Oh, Sam.
01:09:47Sam!
01:09:48Sam!
01:09:51Sam, you don't understand.
01:09:53Trust me, it's not what it seems.
01:09:54It's all a big mistake.
01:09:56You're the mistake, Augie.
01:10:02Operator, I'd like the Pure Food and Drug Administration
01:10:06in Washington, D.C., our nation's capital.
01:10:10Industrial espionage is what made America great.
01:10:14Who are we to argue with tradition?
01:10:18You're $3 short.
01:10:21D.G., you got change for a five?
01:10:32Morning, Sam.
01:10:33I'm just gonna clean up out front before we open.
01:10:35Thanks, Cal.
01:10:37All aboard?
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:42Uh, Sam, you better get back out here.
01:10:45I don't think these guys are customers.
01:10:47Um, can I help you?
01:10:49Are you Samantha Davis?
01:10:50Yes.
01:10:51Special Agent Dickworth, FDA.
01:10:53These are Agents Jones and Mendez.
01:10:55Seal everything.
01:10:56What's going on?
01:10:57We have evidence implicating you and your associates
01:11:00in a conspiracy to lace food sold to the public with drugs.
01:11:04Drugs?
01:11:05Oh, there's gotta be mistakes.
01:11:07I'm sure the judge will be happy to hear all about it.
01:11:09Pending a hearing before a federal bench,
01:11:11this establishment is padlocked by court order.
01:11:13Preliminary hearing set for in the morning.
01:11:15Now, everyone out of here.
01:11:16This place is closed.
01:11:32What's going on?
01:11:34What do you know about drugs in our sauce?
01:11:38Drugs? I can't...
01:11:39I know you can explain, but you know I don't want to hear it.
01:11:42You can't do anything, honestly, can you?
01:11:45You just don't know how.
01:11:47You're never gonna grow up.
01:11:48Sam, just wait a second.
01:11:49Shut up, Drew.
01:11:50I can't believe you let this happen.
01:11:53I knew I should have never gotten mixed up with you.
01:11:56You're bad news, Augie Hamilton.
01:11:58How could you do this to me?
01:12:05Dr. Duran is gonna have my test tubes for this.
01:12:08Guess we could always make it a service station again, huh?
01:12:12That's a little more complicated than that, guys.
01:12:15What do you mean?
01:12:16Remember when we got the loan from the bank?
01:12:18They weren't gonna give us the money
01:12:20unless we signed over the service station property as collateral.
01:12:22I didn't know Sam did that.
01:12:24Neither does she.
01:12:25I signed her name on the documents.
01:12:27You forged Samantha's name?
01:12:29I didn't think they'd call in the loan.
01:12:30I mean, we pulled this off before.
01:12:32This isn't like conning some freshman out of his allowance, Augie.
01:12:36We're your friends.
01:12:38How did you do that to us, man?
01:12:40I did it for us.
01:12:41No, you did it for you.
01:12:43Just like you do everything else.
01:12:47You know, I'm tired of always making excuses for you.
01:12:52I am over it, man.
01:12:56You give me a ride home?
01:12:59Yeah.
01:13:18I keep walking down your street
01:13:21On the chance that we might meet
01:13:23So you can talk to me
01:13:26Oh-oh-oh
01:13:28And when I see you in a crowd
01:13:31In my mind
01:13:32I cry out loud for you to talk to me
01:13:36Oh-oh-oh
01:13:38But I can see you don't want to
01:13:40Say you want to
01:13:42No, you don't want to talk to me
01:13:45Oh-oh-oh
01:13:47And I can see you don't want to
01:13:50No, you don't want to talk to me
01:13:54Talk to me
01:13:57Well, there's one way I'll get through to you
01:14:00I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
01:14:02Stop talking in my sleep
01:14:05It's the only way I keep myself
01:14:07From falling on my hands and knees
01:14:09And I must hide
01:14:11So no one sees frustration in my eyes
01:14:14My tricks, I'm gonna try
01:14:16Say the truth
01:14:18Hey-oh
01:14:20No, you don't want to talk to me
01:14:23Oh-oh-oh
01:14:25And I can see you don't want to
01:14:29No, you don't want to talk to me
01:14:32Talk to me
01:14:36I could show you all the world
01:14:41I could cover all the hurts
01:14:46Would you give me half a chance
01:14:50I know you're gonna like it
01:15:09Mr. Rogers, can you make a statement, please?
01:15:11Sure.
01:15:12Report it, C.G.
01:15:13Get these hacks out of my face.
01:15:15Get off of her.
01:15:17Get back.
01:15:27Look, Sam, before we go in,
01:15:29there's another problem we need to talk about.
01:15:31When Rocky first got the loan...
01:15:33Look, what is Wrangler Bob doing here?
01:15:40I didn't know Dixie knew Wrangler Bob.
01:15:43Looks like we've been set up.
01:15:48We've got a hearing.
01:15:52Now, have everybody's attention.
01:15:54Wrangler Bob will now make a statement.
01:15:59I'm sure all you good folks at home
01:16:01are wondering why your old buddy Wrangler Bob is here today.
01:16:05Well, fast food is near and dear to my heart,
01:16:08and I hate to see this noble institution
01:16:11get a black eye by a few misguided individuals.
01:16:15And I just hope that these malcontents
01:16:18receive the full measure of justice
01:16:20that this judge can dish out.
01:16:23Well, that's enough for now.
01:16:25I'll see you all after court.
01:16:31I have some very influential friends,
01:16:33and I just might be able to get you out of this trouble
01:16:36you're in if I were mine.
01:16:38I'm listening.
01:16:39Samantha, no.
01:16:40Drew, look, I would just like to forget this ever happened.
01:16:44So, what are you offering?
01:16:46Your property, minus the expenses I incur
01:16:49trying to close a few people down.
01:16:51That's ridiculous.
01:16:52You can sell it to me or I'll buy it from the banks
01:16:55and they foreclose the mortgage on your property.
01:16:57Mortgage? What mortgage?
01:16:59That's what I was trying to tell you before we went in.
01:17:02I can see you two have a lot to talk about.
01:17:05See you on the inside.
01:17:14You're too old to be playing with toys.
01:17:17I'm confiscating your weapons.
01:17:19Now, grow up!
01:17:21Case dismissed.
01:17:26All right, let's go.
01:17:31Next case.
01:17:36The People vs. Pop's Burger Station.
01:17:42Is the prosecution ready?
01:17:44Yes, Your Honor.
01:17:46The prosecution plans to present evidence
01:17:48that the owners of Pop's Burger Station
01:17:51willfully and with premeditated malice
01:17:54laced food sold to the public
01:17:56with dangerous mood-altering stimulants.
01:17:59If it pleases the court, I'd like to present this as Exhibit A,
01:18:02the secret sauce from Pop's Burger Station.
01:18:06All right, honey, lay it there. Take a chair.
01:18:10Now then, do you people have legal representation?
01:18:16If not, the court...
01:18:18Your Honor, Augustus Hamilton.
01:18:20I'll be representing the defense.
01:18:22Great. We're gonna go to prison.
01:18:25They're gonna make me somebody's wife.
01:18:27Your Honor, I am here today because of my commitment
01:18:30to the individual businessman.
01:18:32You see, I could not sit idly by as big business crushes
01:18:35yet another set of young independents.
01:18:37Mr. Hamilton, don't give me that malarkey.
01:18:40You know that you are supposed to be here anyway.
01:18:43You're a subpoenaed witness.
01:18:45Yes, sir, that, too.
01:18:48Are you sure you kids haven't got any objection to this?
01:18:51Your Honor, I...
01:18:53Your Honor, before I call my first witness,
01:18:55I'd like to address the court, if I may.
01:18:57I think it could save us some time.
01:18:59Very well, Mr. Hamilton, the court is always willing
01:19:02to save the taxpayers' money. Proceed.
01:19:07I put the formula in the burger station's special sauce.
01:19:11Hmm?
01:19:13I acted totally alone,
01:19:15without any previous knowledge from the defendants.
01:19:18If anyone is to be punished here today, it is I.
01:19:22I see. All right.
01:19:26But, Your Honor, I'm also guilty of something else.
01:19:29Hmm?
01:19:31I'm guilty of letting down my best friends.
01:19:34Probably the only real friends I've ever had.
01:19:38You see, sometimes when a person is so into himself,
01:19:41he forgets what's important.
01:19:44I guess I have some growing up to do.
01:19:47Well, that was a real pretty speech, Judge,
01:19:49but when are we going to get on with this barbecue?
01:19:52I want to see these people prosecuted
01:19:54to the fullest extent of the law.
01:19:56Order in this court. Who are you?
01:19:59I'm Wrangler Bob Bundy.
01:20:02Well, sit down and shut up.
01:20:05Now, if we may proceed with the business of this court.
01:20:09Mr. Hamilton.
01:20:11I'd like to call as my first witness Dr. Rachel Duran.
01:20:15She's a research chemist at Hopkins College
01:20:17and the creator of the alleged drug
01:20:19used in the burger station's sauce.
01:20:22Put it there, sweetheart.
01:20:27All right, all right. Proceed. Let's go.
01:20:29Dr. Duran, could you please tell us
01:20:31if the formula used in the burger station food
01:20:33does contain mood-altering stimulants?
01:20:35Yes, that's correct.
01:20:37I'm so glad he ain't my lawyer.
01:20:39Don't know his habits from his dad and gum quarters.
01:20:41It lowers your inhibitions and makes you want to live out your fantasies.
01:20:44However, under the influence of this chemical agent,
01:20:47you wouldn't do anything you didn't want to do.
01:20:49And, uh, would the FDA classify this as a drug?
01:20:52Absolutely not.
01:20:54All the ingredients in the formula are natural.
01:20:56Now, Dr. Duran, could you please tell the court
01:20:59if you've ever heard of the chemical...
01:21:01diopriamenz...
01:21:03Diopriamezidine methylene.
01:21:05Yes, it's an artificial ingredient
01:21:07that's used to enhance the taste of cheap fast food.
01:21:10Well, that's funny, because that's the main ingredient
01:21:13in Wrangler Bob's secret sauce,
01:21:15the one he advertises as 100% natural.
01:21:17Now, wait just a cotton-picking minute.
01:21:19I'm not on trial here.
01:21:21Your Honor, I object.
01:21:23Order at this court. Sit down and shut up.
01:21:26I'm talking to you, Bundy.
01:21:30And as for you, young man,
01:21:32endangering others for personal gain
01:21:35is an immature and irresponsible act.
01:21:38I hope you realize that.
01:21:40Yes, sir, I do.
01:21:42Well, unfortunately, this time,
01:21:44no one was hurt, and thanks to Dr. Duran's,
01:21:47thank you, honey, expert testimony,
01:21:50no law was broken.
01:21:52Hold on a minute.
01:21:54Their sauce is better than mine.
01:21:56Well, Mr. Bundy, that is called free enterprise.
01:22:00I never heard of it.
01:22:02Mr. Hamilton,
01:22:04I trust that I will never see you in this court again.
01:22:11Case dismissed.
01:22:14Leave me alone. Go on.
01:22:19Get out of my way. Get out of my way.
01:22:21Now, hold on, sweetheart.
01:22:23I'll give you a million dollars for that formula.
01:22:25I want it in my sauce.
01:22:27I'm sorry. Formula 9 was an accident, a fluke.
01:22:29I couldn't do it again without extensive testing.
01:22:31It's not even patented.
01:22:33It's not? E.G., get me that sauce.
01:22:38Order! Order! Order in the court!
01:22:41A million dollars to anybody. Get me that sauce.
01:22:44Order! Order!
01:23:41Order! Order! Order!
01:23:59Sam.
01:24:05I don't think you've settled things with me.
01:24:08I mean, after all you've done,
01:24:10I shouldn't even speak to you.
01:24:12I don't blame you.
01:24:17So, what are you gonna do now?
01:24:20I don't know. I guess I'll look for a job or something.
01:24:26Well, good luck.
01:24:28I mean, I'll probably see you around, right?
01:24:31Yeah. Maybe I'll see you around sometime.
01:24:35Augie.
01:24:37I know this fast food restaurant
01:24:39that needs a good manager.
01:24:41Oh, yeah?
01:24:43Mm-hmm.
01:24:45The pay is low, but the hours are terrible.
01:24:48I'll take it.
01:25:04Let's go. Let's go have a party.
01:25:07It's hot.
01:25:11E.G., after I put your kids through college,
01:25:14I was thinkin' about maybe us goin' into business together.
01:25:18I've always thought of you as my faithful Indian companion.
01:25:22But it's time for me now.
01:25:24I'm sorry.
01:25:26I'm sorry.
01:25:28I'm sorry.
01:25:30I'm sorry.
01:25:32I'm sorry.
01:25:38Drop the slop and listen up.
01:25:41This is your old buddy Wrangler Bob,
01:25:43and I take eatin' seriously.
01:25:45Ain't that right, Winchester?
01:25:47That's right, Wrangler Bob.
01:25:49And at Wrangler Bob's, my guts are growlin'.
01:25:52I ain't thinkin' about tofu and sprouts.
01:25:55Meat's on my mind. Ain't that right, Winchester?
01:25:58That's right, Wrangler Bob.
01:26:00At Wrangler Bob's, we serve the best Texas-style burgers
01:26:03that ever hit your gut. Ain't that right, Winchester?
01:26:06You can say that again, Wrangler Bob.
01:26:08Yes, sir. At Wrangler Bob's,
01:26:10we put a little bit of Texas in every burger.
01:26:13Because an empty gut is like an unloaded gun.
01:26:17A dangerous proposition.
01:26:19Am I right, Winchester?
01:26:21Am I right, Winchester?
01:26:23Yes.
01:26:25He knows.
01:26:27You remember when you were a youngin'
01:26:29and the best place in the world to be was Mama's kitchen?
01:26:32All those wonderful smells
01:26:34comin' from heaven, cakes and cookies and pies.
01:26:37Well, at Wrangler Bob's,
01:26:39we always make our desserts fresh and delicious
01:26:42because Mom's in each and every one of our kitchens
01:26:45cookin' them up fresh just for you.
01:26:48Mama, how do you get around like that?
01:26:51I don't know.
01:26:53Friday?
01:26:57Cut, cut.
01:27:01Shall we lose Mama
01:27:03and set up the chuckwagon set?
01:27:06Bingo.
01:27:08Roy, would you run a magnet over her pacemaker?
01:27:11Sure.
01:27:28I didn't heed those warning signs
01:27:31Paid little or no attention
01:27:35Wouldn't take any wards' advice
01:27:38Built walls for my protection
01:27:42It took some time to understand
01:27:46The power of love's medication
01:27:50The days were long, nights were all wrong
01:27:54Searchin' for some consolation
01:27:57But right in the middle of actin' so cool
01:28:01You came along and rescued the soul
01:28:05I felt a shattering boom in the heart
01:28:08I felt a shattering boom in the heart