Celebs Go Dating S13E04 (2024)

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00:00Tonight!
00:02They are some strong balls.
00:04Ella scores again.
00:06Oh, my God. OK.
00:08Jamelia gets straight to the point.
00:10What was your first impression of me?
00:12I think I got, like, an immature vibe.
00:14Really? Yeah. Stephen lets rip.
00:16Anything on a first date?
00:18I think that's boring.
00:20Oh, call me boring, then. You're boring.
00:22And Chris...
00:24Well, Chris is Chris.
00:26Did you know giraffe semen is lighter than air?
00:28Interesting.
00:34Welcome to Celebs Go Dating.
00:36It's nearly the end of the week
00:38for our six famous singletons,
00:40and for the most part, they've been pretty useless.
00:42So the agents have called
00:44an early-morning crisis meeting
00:46to come up with a critical plan
00:48on how to fix this mess.
00:50You need to hear the opening line
00:52of our Mills & Boon novel.
00:54Yeah.
00:56We have moved on to creating erotica.
00:58My mistake, they're asking about upstairs
01:00trying to write a grubby little novel.
01:02Oh, this I'm down for.
01:04How about you just hit us with a line?
01:06Sex-related. Any line.
01:08And as she moaned,
01:10she took his throbbing member.
01:14Oh, my gosh!
01:16And he thrusted with great aplomb.
01:18I swear,
01:20British people are secretly kinky.
01:22Oh, yes.
01:24Oh, did you never ever masturbate to Jilly Cooper?
01:26No. Oh, God, yes.
01:28No, but I did stick the finger up
01:30your bum reading Adrian Mull once.
01:32By accident.
01:34Oh, and here comes the main character
01:36in any erotic thriller.
01:38It's horny little goggle-boxer Stephen Webb.
01:40Hi, it's Stephen.
01:42Get a move on, Tom.
01:46He's an agency virgin,
01:48so hopefully Tom will handle him with care.
01:50Oh,
01:52such a tender knock.
01:54It was practically a caress.
01:56Oh, look.
01:58How are you?
02:00Oh, you're in Audrey Hepburn's
02:02Breakfast at Tiffany's coat.
02:04Interesting, it's giving me more
02:06back-alley flasher vibes, but each to their own.
02:08Stephen looks as slick as a sonnet
02:10and on the cusp of lickable
02:12like a walnut whip.
02:14Hubba hubba!
02:16What's that bit of naughtiness
02:18sticking out on your wrist?
02:20Oh. Oh, I see.
02:22Have you got a whole slew...
02:24Who's that naked lady there?
02:26This is before I went off them.
02:28Oh, did you have a big spell on them?
02:30I did. I did like a boobie at one point.
02:32I went the other way, so I've got
02:34a giant ball bag tattooed on my back.
02:36I do my hair, Tom.
02:38Check my nails.
02:40Next to finger Tom's bell,
02:42all in white, our feisty delight,
02:44it's Ella Morgan.
02:46I do my hair, Tom.
02:48Check my nails.
02:50Baby, how you feelin'?
02:52Feelin' good.
02:54Come in.
02:58Oh, my God!
03:00Welcome.
03:02Oh, you're fabulous.
03:04Oh, right back at you, kiddo.
03:06Well, I am compared to this one, kiddo.
03:08Hi, darling.
03:10I missed you.
03:12Come on, sit down.
03:14Oh, my happiness.
03:16Do you know what? I wanted to look classy and elegant.
03:18You do. You look both.
03:20Thank you very much.
03:22You were so chic at the mixer.
03:24I wasn't the only one
03:26that was caught by your twinkles.
03:28Rhys.
03:30Mm.
03:32Yes, Rhys' rainbow ring won her over at the mixer.
03:34And on their date, she was putty
03:36in his big tattooed arms.
03:38For me, it's who you are now.
03:40You're stunning, and that's it.
03:42It wasn't long before Ella wanted some of Rhys' pieces.
03:44Oh, God, I'm so horny.
03:48Tom, I snogged him at the end of the date.
03:50It was a bit like having
03:52a vacuum in my mouth
03:54sucking my tongue.
03:56Hey, don't knock the vacuum.
03:58I lost my virginity to one of them.
04:00Good on you, Henry. Good lad.
04:02While Tom hoovers up the goss,
04:04up north, Helen's got her mate Reggie over,
04:06who looks thrilled.
04:08State of the place.
04:10Did you think the kids would enjoy your football?
04:12Yeah, they love it, don't they?
04:14Delilah especially. Yeah.
04:16This is the first time she's seen Reggie
04:18since her date with sexy masseuse Luke.
04:22And after getting hands on,
04:24Helen thought it best to go all in.
04:26So who have you been on a date with then?
04:28Baby was really hot. He was called Luke.
04:30Right. So fit.
04:32Really tall. Of course.
04:34But he's 23, babe.
04:3623? I know, he's 23.
04:38You little cougar.
04:40I did kiss him. It was funny.
04:42You kissed him? Yeah.
04:44When was that? On the first meet?
04:46Yeah. Who went for the kiss?
04:48I did.
04:50I did, like a predator.
04:52It was so funny.
04:54Yeah, babe. She went full Dyson Cordis
04:56on the poor bastard.
04:58Back over at the agency,
05:00Stephen's odds of finding love are ascending.
05:02Well, he's going upstairs to see the agents,
05:04but it's a start.
05:06Welcome to the agency meeting.
05:08And I must admit, I'm brickin' it.
05:10Come on in!
05:12Welcome. Look at you.
05:14Looking fresh. Thanks, mate.
05:16But I need all the advice I can get.
05:18I've been out the dating game for so long,
05:20I'm very, very rusty.
05:22We match.
05:24He's done that before.
05:26So good to see you.
05:28Should I sit down?
05:30Please, please.
05:32Right. I'm a little bit nervous.
05:34Welcome to the agency.
05:36Thank you. Thanks for having me.
05:38What is it that you believe
05:40that we can help you with the most?
05:42Well, I've been married for 12 years,
05:44so now I'm single again,
05:46and I'm coming back into the dating world.
05:48I'm only 52.
05:50I definitely want to meet someone else.
05:52And I just feel like I haven't got any skills.
05:54Don't be so hard on yourself.
05:56You're really good at watching telly.
05:58This is a learning process for me.
06:00I've got to accept what's happened
06:02and I'm still working through that.
06:04So this isn't about
06:06running into someone else's arms.
06:08Many people say that relationships
06:10don't end from one particular thing.
06:12Yeah.
06:14I've been quietly quitting it
06:16for over a year.
06:18I just stopped feeling it.
06:22And I felt like
06:24life was ticking by
06:26and I wanted
06:28a new adventure.
06:30Do you think Daniel was your first love
06:32or did you have a love before Daniel?
06:34No, I've definitely had a love before Daniel.
06:36Another Daniel. So Daniel's Daniel too.
06:38There was a Daniel one.
06:40What about Daniel's son? Wax on, wax off.
06:42And
06:44he finished the relationship
06:46because I took
06:48someone at home
06:50after being out at the club
06:52and he caught me on the sofa with that person.
06:54Wow. Okay.
06:56How did you feel the moment
06:58you knew
07:00he was out of your life forever?
07:02It was more of a sense of
07:04I felt like I was being abandoned.
07:06Interesting.
07:10Let's talk about this.
07:12Can we begin to unpack it?
07:14So my dad
07:20Yeah, please.
07:22So left my mum
07:24on her own
07:26to kind of
07:30bring up us five kids.
07:32So yeah,
07:34that's that I guess.
07:38Okay.
07:40Your other siblings, did you feel
07:42any responsibility
07:44when your father left?
07:46Yeah, tons. And especially
07:48after the age of I think 30
07:50my brother passed away
07:52I was the only boy with three sisters
07:54and mum.
07:58Talking about my first boyfriend
08:00has brought up emotions about
08:02other men that have left me in my life.
08:04My dad and then my brother
08:06passing away. I've never really thought
08:08about how all of this has affected
08:10my relationships. This is the first time
08:12I'm talking about this stuff in years.
08:16So yeah, I did feel
08:22a lot I was doing
08:24my dad's job, you know.
08:26A lot on your shoulders.
08:28Yeah.
08:42Welcome back
08:44to Celebs Go Day in where Paul and
08:46Tara are desperate to get the down low
08:48on Stephen's agency actions so far.
08:50How do you feel
08:52Stephen going in to that party?
08:54I think I come across
08:56as fun.
08:58I hope.
09:00Yeah, I think I pulled it off.
09:02Would you fancy going
09:04on a date?
09:06Maybe come up to Liverpool for a date.
09:08We should maybe
09:10line up a date. And he ended up choosing
09:12this youngster, Ben.
09:14How are you? Yeah, all good.
09:16For an ill-fated date.
09:18You've got a lot of work here to do tonight, don't you?
09:20I do generally feel really, really poorly.
09:22A little bit ropey. Yeah, I don't feel good.
09:24So I think it's probably best if I get going.
09:26Oh my god, have I been
09:28pied? Have I just been pied?
09:30Pretty much.
09:32So Ben turns up. He's not feeling that great.
09:34I probably was
09:36kind of taking the mickey out of him a bit too much.
09:38Okay.
09:40Because there wasn't much going on, I felt like I needed
09:42to go that extra
09:4420 mile an hour.
09:46Ben relies heavily on sarcasm
09:48and humour, which he admits
09:50that it's his protection mechanism.
09:52A little bit of fun on a date is great,
09:54but I fear that he'll never let anyone
09:56see the real Stephen if he
09:58keeps this up. From that date, I'll take
10:00back that I'm just going to sit back and relax.
10:02And if it's not there,
10:04it's not my responsibility
10:06to elevate it.
10:08So then, we move on.
10:10Your next
10:12date. Okay.
10:14Would you like to see him? Yeah, let's have a look.
10:1613, 39,
10:185'10, kind
10:20of big personality.
10:22Nearly twice the age of the last one, so we're
10:24looking up. This one's even old enough to
10:26grow a beard. Yeah, he's cute.
10:28And he's a driving instructor,
10:30so he knows how to use the stick.
10:32I'm not going
10:34on one now. You're going tonight.
10:36Shut up. Go get yourself
10:38ready for the date. Thanks very much.
10:40See you soon. Take care, we'll see you.
10:42Bye. Bye.
10:44The agents have already had Stephen in tears,
10:46but don't worry, here comes
10:48drain-dodging, Love Island pro
10:50and MC Hammer wannabe,
10:52Chris Taylor, to lighten the mood.
10:54Hello, Celebrity
10:56Deadhead. Oh, Tommy Boy.
10:58Oh, hello, Chris.
11:00Come in.
11:12I couldn't
11:14work the handle. Oh,
11:16look at this, look. Beautiful humans.
11:18Oh.
11:20Do sit down. Thank you.
11:22This one here? Have a mustard pew.
11:24Thank you. Look at your naughty
11:26cowslick. My naughty
11:28cowslick? Yeah. I've never had it described as naughty
11:30before. Well, speaking of naughty,
11:32Edda was just about to fill me in with
11:34all the details of her date with Rhys.
11:36You have a slight smirk
11:38when you asked me the question. Have you heard
11:40something? What have you done more to the point?
11:42I feel like you've done something.
11:44No, I just... You seem like
11:46on edge about it. No, I just
11:48kissed him, honestly. That's all right. I just kissed him.
11:52You're twinkling at me.
11:54No, no, no, no, no.
11:56Hold up, there's something
11:58fishy going on here. This
12:00stonking silence from Ella combined
12:02with the look on her face makes me think,
12:04did something more
12:06happen?
12:08Hello?
12:10Chris and Ella, please.
12:12Certainly. Bye, darling.
12:14They are ready for you upstairs
12:16together. At the same time?
12:18Yeah. Double penetration.
12:20Yes, quite.
12:22Oh, is that what happened with Rhys?
12:24Enormous luck.
12:26You didn't need it. Tom, I love you.
12:28Goodbye, darling. Love you.
12:30Oh, my God.
12:32Why aren't we going in together?
12:34I'm nervous.
12:36Why aren't we going in together?
12:38Have you done something? I've done nothing.
12:40I think they probably want you to learn off me,
12:42as in, don't have sex with your dates.
12:44I didn't know.
12:46These are our two highest energy
12:48celebs. Which is why I think it was a good idea
12:50to bring them in together.
12:52Why are they here together?
12:54I mean, in for a penny, in for a pound.
12:56If our eardrums are going to just be blown,
12:58we may as well just blow them all in one go.
13:02Come in.
13:04There they are!
13:06This is our first double consultation,
13:08and we need to really unpack
13:10who they are and how they did at the mixer.
13:12Chris, let's get into the party.
13:14How do you think you did?
13:16I'll be honest, I didn't really find out
13:18a right lot about people.
13:20But I do this thing, like, if I just throw
13:22something random at them and they roll with it,
13:24I really like that, because that's what I'm looking for
13:26in a person. So, who did you
13:28settle on? I selected Yeva
13:30and a very handsome gentleman
13:32in the corner challenged
13:34my opinion on that and why I did that.
13:36We're surprised that
13:38Chris chose Yeva instead
13:40of Georgia. It's almost like he was
13:42intimidated by Tristan.
13:44It was probably a case of,
13:46what if I say Georgia
13:48and then she goes,
13:50no, I'm already going on a date with Tristan.
13:52And then I'm, like, caught with my dick in my hand.
13:54I hear this expression a lot,
13:56caught with my dick
13:58in my hand.
14:00How does he make everything sound
14:02so damn sexy?
14:04Is that a bad thing to have your
14:06dick in your hand? Well, it could be
14:08in worse places. It could be in my hand.
14:10Is that terrible? Because it happens to a lot of people.
14:12I mean, masturbation.
14:14It's fine to have your dick in your hand.
14:16It is fine.
14:18Mine's in the bin.
14:24And we haven't even gotten to
14:26the date. But first,
14:28Ella, let's break it down.
14:30So you walk into the mixer.
14:32How are you feeling? What are you thinking?
14:34I was thinking, this is a minefield as a trans person.
14:36So I think I spoke to Luke.
14:38He was just like, yeah, I've never been with someone like you,
14:40but don't bother me. I was, like, shocked
14:42that people would so openly
14:44talk to me in public
14:46or not be ashamed of me or not be embarrassed.
14:48I thought this wasn't going to be a heavy conversation.
14:50Not really. It's okay.
14:52It's just what it is, honey.
14:54All right.
14:58Um...
15:00It's okay.
15:02I think it's just because
15:04most of my life, I couldn't
15:06start dating until
15:08I felt comfortable with myself, physically.
15:10And then people reject you.
15:12People don't want to get to know you.
15:14And you're just used as a sexual fetish.
15:16It just whittles away
15:18any confidence that I had in myself.
15:20I can take it if someone doesn't fancy
15:22me because of my hair or I'm too fake
15:24or I'm this or that, I can take that shit.
15:26When it's, you're perfect for me,
15:28but you're trans, I can't help but take that
15:30personally.
15:32This has been my concern from
15:34Married at First Sight all the way through to
15:36what I observed of you.
15:38It makes it a true acceptance.
15:40This is something that you have to learn.
15:42This is very important for you, Ella.
15:44Very, very important for you.
15:46Yes, Brunson.
15:48Whilst the agents get caught up on those two,
15:50Shamelia's arrived for her date with Ashley.
15:52I don't know how to say this without being
15:54horrible, but I'm not really fussed
15:56about seeing Ashley again.
15:58Great start.
16:00He wasn't a bit of me, that's what I'd say.
16:02Ashley's mask
16:04hid a multitude of talents.
16:06I'm an ex-heavyweight wrestling champion.
16:08Oh my God.
16:10I've dabbled in a bit of acting.
16:12And I am well-coordinated.
16:14But when the agents revealed he'd be her next
16:16date, I think it's fair to say Shamelia
16:18was less than thrilled.
16:20Okay.
16:22I think I might have a laugh,
16:24and I'm trying to stay open-minded,
16:26because who knows, he might be the one.
16:28Good luck, Ashley.
16:30You're going to need it.
16:32I'm really excited for my date with Shamelia today.
16:34What I'm hoping for from this date
16:36is hopefully another.
16:38We've got so much in common.
16:40I feel like when we do sit and speak one-on-one,
16:42she'll realise that I'm the one.
16:44Oh God, I already feel sorry for the poor,
16:46over-confident bastard.
16:48Hello.
16:50Alex, how are you?
16:52You okay? Yeah, nice to see you again.
16:54You too. I thought I'd be here first.
16:56I thought I'd be able to pull the chair out for you again.
16:58Oh, bless you. I'd see how the date goes first
17:00before you offer to push her stall in, mate.
17:02So he's not my usual type,
17:04but he's there, I'm here,
17:06and I'm hungry. And you never know.
17:08Let's give it a go.
17:10Oh gosh,
17:12where to start?
17:14So how's your day been?
17:16Yeah, I've had a really good day,
17:18thank you.
17:20Good, good. Scintillating start.
17:22Yeah, this is cool.
17:24Yeah. But very strange
17:26at the same time. Yeah.
17:28You just have to... I'm forgetting my manners.
17:30I don't like putting my elbows on the tables,
17:32but I feel too relaxed sitting back like this.
17:34Just be relaxed. It's all good.
17:36Yeah, do what you need to do. Yeah.
17:38Yeah, you don't look relaxed to me, mate.
17:42So what was your first impression of me
17:44from the mixer?
17:46I think...
17:48I think I got, like, an immature vibe.
17:50Really?
17:52Yeah.
17:54Still think that second date's on the cards, Ash?
17:56I don't like to take life too seriously.
17:58I know that could be a turn on or off,
18:00but I feel like if you're just
18:02focused on, you know,
18:04Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
18:06and not sort of just being spontaneous with it,
18:08it could get a bit repetitive and boring.
18:10Of course.
18:16Back at the agency, Chris and Ella
18:18are in the middle of their deep four-way
18:20with Anna and Paul.
18:22Not like that, you animals.
18:24It's emotional.
18:26Let's just beeline straight for that date,
18:28cos I think we're all curious to know
18:30how the date with Rhys went.
18:32It went OK.
18:34We did snog at the end of the date.
18:36So that was it?
18:38Is that how the night ended?
18:40Um, no.
18:42I was going to head home,
18:44and then we arranged to meet,
18:46and I had another few drinks after the date.
18:48Did you really?
18:50Is that all that happened?
18:52Yes. Yeah.
18:54All right, cos in my experience,
18:56typically when somebody's out doing a thing
18:58and they decide to meet up later,
19:00it ends up being lots of different things.
19:02Right?
19:04And normally, we finally hear that there's been another thing
19:06that's happened to the other thing.
19:08And it's been a thing thing.
19:10So are you sure it was just a thing?
19:12I'm confused here.
19:14I don't think I even know what a thing is anymore.
19:16What's a thing?
19:18There may have been a bit more kissing,
19:20and then I got the last train home,
19:22cos I knew what was about to happen.
19:24Yeah, bloody Network Rail Engineering Works.
19:26Oh, no, a thing.
19:28Thank you for being honest about it.
19:30We appreciate it.
19:32Well, I respect you.
19:34Christopher, how did this date go?
19:36I thought it went swimmingly.
19:38On his date with Yevva,
19:40Chris was his usual quirky self.
19:42Sometimes you sound a little bit like a chimney sweep.
19:44But despite his best efforts,
19:46the chat got pretty real.
19:48I really do want to get married.
19:50Right fricking now.
19:52Like, are you free this weekend?
19:54Really? I'm joking.
19:56She did go in quite prematurely
19:58on the baby marriage thing,
20:00I'd say, for me, personally.
20:02So you're both looking for more?
20:04Yeah, they're looking for more.
20:06Fuck.
20:10OK, Little Miss Ella,
20:12you're going on a date with...
20:14Danny!
20:16He's a good-looking chap.
20:18So he's saying he's got great banter.
20:20How about we let Danny explain it?
20:22No!
20:24I'm Danny, I'm 39 years old,
20:26I'm from North London,
20:28I've been known as a serial dater,
20:30but I just haven't met the right person yet.
20:32I'm looking for someone that's up for a good time,
20:34obviously.
20:36I mean, the age thing doesn't bother me.
20:38Gemini throws me off.
20:40God, he's obviously not going to shut up.
20:42No, I'm joking.
20:44OK, and next.
20:46Chris, are you ready to see who you're going to go on a date with?
20:48Yeah.
20:50We've got...
20:52Sakena.
20:54Very attractive, yeah.
20:56Hi, I'm Sakena, I'm 29 and I'm from London
20:58and I am looking for a confident man
21:00and he's got to be able to handle
21:02a lot of negative energy because it is a lot.
21:04What are you thinking?
21:06Do you know what it is?
21:08Come on, what is it?
21:10I dislike pet peeve when people tell people what they're like.
21:12I think already you're intimidated by her.
21:14Just from that.
21:16Just be careful to not leap to conclusions
21:18and judgements straight away.
21:20We would love for you to go on your date
21:22together.
21:24Double date.
21:26No!
21:28So it's going to be a forced date.
21:30You're going to have to trust each other on this one.
21:32Whilst Chris and Ella have big personalities,
21:34they also both really lack in confidence.
21:36We think that by pairing them up together
21:38for a double date,
21:40they'll be able to reassure each other
21:42and hopefully stop any doubts.
21:44Fun, though, innit?
21:46Yeah, no, it is going to be fun.
21:48I mean, they are in no place right now
21:50to be in what we would deem an interdependent relationship.
21:52No.
21:54I don't think they even know what that means.
21:56So if I want to ask a question to my date,
21:58do I have to ask it to everyone in the room?
22:00No?
22:02Oh, God, I don't know how this is going to work.
22:04That's what I mean, I don't know how it works.
22:06Like, what if we have a four-way kiss?
22:08Coming up...
22:10Dean, what are your sexual preferences?
22:12Are you asking what I like to do in the bedroom?
22:14Stephen has got problems.
22:16Anything on a first date?
22:18I think that's boring.
22:20Chris has got questions.
22:22Have you ever put a chocolate bar up your bum?
22:24Can you imagine if it was a Toblerone?
22:26And Ella has got answers.
22:28I think there's definitely a place
22:30for non-monogamous relationships.
22:32I don't want to see my partner doing the missionary
22:34with Susan down the road.
22:36I do love Susan.
22:46Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
22:48After a slightly awkward start to their day,
22:50Ash has a challenge for our jammies.
22:52I've never lost a game of what people say.
22:54You do know what we've got to do now, right?
22:56This is big. It's like the VIP match.
22:58I'm actually scared.
23:00Are you ready?
23:02Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
23:04She shoots, she scores.
23:08While Ash licks his wounds...
23:12Back at Dating Central,
23:14about to arrive is the agency's poshest client,
23:16carrying a pot plant through the street
23:18to distract from that awful jumper.
23:20Good decision.
23:24Hello.
23:26Susan here.
23:30Do you think he'll flirt with us?
23:32Do you think he will? We'll see.
23:36Hello!
23:38This is for you.
23:40I feel like you need a little bit of plant
23:42to brighten up your life.
23:44You're not bright enough already.
23:46Hold off on the preening, ladies.
23:48He's flirting with Tom instead.
23:54Are you ready for more?
24:00Come on in.
24:02Hello.
24:04Hello, lady.
24:06How are we?
24:08Welcome to the agency.
24:10Happy to be here.
24:12We are very happy to see you.
24:14This is Tristan's first time in the agency
24:16and we've not actually seen him since the mixer,
24:18so I'm very intrigued as to seeing how he found it.
24:20How was the mixer?
24:22It was fabulous, yeah.
24:24And obviously I had absolutely no idea what to expect.
24:26At the mixer, you chose Georgia.
24:28I did.
24:30I'd like to take Georgia up.
24:32I'd like to go for a date with you.
24:36He's looking at my boobs.
24:38On his date with Georgia,
24:40Tristan couldn't keep his eyes off her.
24:42Or his mouth.
24:46So, tell us about the date.
24:48Very flirty.
24:50We do.
24:52I never felt like there was an awkward silence
24:54or a moment where I had to really try and fill a gap,
24:56which was good.
24:58I felt like, I don't know how long we were there for,
25:00but it flew by.
25:02The next thing you know, we were snogging on a couch.
25:04We did do that.
25:06Talk us through the kiss.
25:08Was it at the end of the date and who initiated it?
25:10I believe she initiated it.
25:12Yeah, if by her, you mean you.
25:14She's a confident lady.
25:16She is.
25:18I think that's really sexy, actually.
25:20Was there any talk of seeing each other again?
25:22How did you leave the date?
25:24There was chat about seeing each other again, yeah.
25:26From both of you?
25:28From both of us, yeah.
25:30You stand by that?
25:32I do stand by that, yeah.
25:34It is the Celebrity Dating Agency.
25:36We have our shirts.
25:38Shall we do it, Dr Tara?
25:40Let's do it.
25:42We have a young lady we would like you to cast your eyes upon.
25:44Fantastic.
25:46Erin is 27.
25:48She loves tall, outdoorsy...
25:50Love that.
25:52...driven sense of humour.
25:54Those are all massive box ticks.
25:56Tristan, it's great to see you. Enjoy your date.
25:58Thank you so much.
26:00We'll see you back here very, very soon.
26:02I hope you're doing a British goodbye.
26:04Always.
26:06Thank you, ladies.
26:08Enjoy, darling.
26:10That was lovely.
26:12I like him.
26:14Yes, smash that, babes.
26:16Yeah.
26:18You literally pulled up one PowerPoint page.
26:22Across town, maths legend Ella
26:24is on her way to meet Love Islander Chris.
26:26They're about to go double whammy on a date
26:28with Sukaina and Danny.
26:30Hello.
26:32How are you, all right?
26:34Wow, look at this.
26:36Christ, you look unbelievable.
26:40Are you nervous? I'm nervous. I can feel my heart.
26:42I don't feel so nervous.
26:44Well, that's good, cos here comes Danny now.
26:46I'm so happy the agents have set me up with Ella.
26:48I mean, who wouldn't be pleased as punch
26:50with a gorgeous creature like she is?
26:52So, yeah, let's go.
26:54Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
26:56Oh, here he is.
26:58No, I don't.
27:00How are we doing?
27:02Hi, Danny. I'm Ella. Nice to meet you.
27:04Oh, my God.
27:06Not only is he a Gemini,
27:08but he's not really my type either.
27:10So this guy best have some good banter,
27:12otherwise I'm going to have to start flirting with Chris,
27:14which, to be fair, I'll probably do anyway.
27:16You're the one star sign that I hate.
27:18OK, no, I don't hate,
27:20but every single Gemini man I've met
27:22I've been like, you're a douchebag,
27:24so you could be an exception.
27:26Are you a douchebag?
27:28Seconds into Ella's date with Danny,
27:30and the awkward Mia is already heading towards 11,
27:32and it's normally out of 10.
27:34Let's hope Chris's date Sukaina can bring a bit of light relief.
27:36I am feeling excited for my date with Chris,
27:38because I feel like he's got good chat, good banter.
27:40Hello. How you doing? You all right?
27:42So, yeah, I'm actually feeling really positive about this double date.
27:44Christopher, nice to meet you.
27:46Hi, Sukaina, nice to meet you.
27:48I'm not used to this four-way dating thing, isn't it?
27:50I've never done a four-way before.
27:52Well, well.
27:54I bet she might be the one.
27:56Her bum's only just hit the seat,
27:58and she's already double entendre-ing.
28:00This could be a bit of me.
28:02That looks delicious.
28:04Um, I'm actually largely surprised
28:06Um, I'm actually largely surprised
28:08Oh, you actually?
28:10Yeah, it gives me migraines.
28:12Oh, I'm really sorry.
28:14I don't think I could kiss you now at this stage, once you've said that.
28:16And I know that might be devastating.
28:18Yeah.
28:20Did you know if people have pineapples in their windows,
28:22do you know what that means?
28:24I'm going to guess swingers.
28:26Yes.
28:28And pampas grass.
28:30Pampas grass out the front.
28:32Swingers.
28:34I couldn't be a swinger, no.
28:36Do you know what? I think there's definitely a place
28:38for non-monogamous relationships.
28:40God, daddy, you filthy bastard.
28:42Are you quite nicely teeing up an open relationship situation?
28:44I was about to say, you're basically saying
28:46you want to be a whore.
28:48No, not at all.
28:50If I was with someone, I'll be honest,
28:52I wouldn't want to be in an open relationship.
28:54I have nothing against it, but for me,
28:56I've got too many insecurities that I'd be like,
28:58is she prettier than me? Probably not,
29:00but there's a chance that she could be,
29:02I'd say your trust between you and your partner would kick in.
29:04I don't want to see my partner doing the missionary
29:06with Susan down the road.
29:08Unlucky Danny boy, but maybe get Susan's number
29:10just in case.
29:12I'm Moroccan, so I'm very psycho and jealous.
29:14That was an interesting revelation.
29:16What, you're psycho?
29:18Psycho.
29:20Talk to me about your psychotic behaviour.
29:22What is the...
29:24I just don't really want my man
29:26breathing next to another woman, if I'm honest.
29:28Hypothetically, we're in a relationship.
29:30Am I allowed to have friends that are girls?
29:32No. I have a lot of girlfriends.
29:34Do you? Yeah.
29:36That says to me that she doesn't trust boys,
29:38which is fair,
29:40but if I'm going to be in a relationship with someone,
29:42there's got to be trust there.
29:44Well, my best girlfriend's a lesbian, so I can't say that.
29:46That's fine. Oh, that's OK?
29:48Yeah, so if it's like that, then that's fine.
29:50But I also have a lot of straight girlfriends.
29:52Are they in relationships? No.
29:54But it's also just a line that I wouldn't cross.
29:56While we wait for the awkwardness to end
29:58and Danny waits for that four-way...
30:02..across town after a fairly
30:04banter-free start to the day...
30:06All right?
30:08Are you all right?
30:10..Jamelia's hoping Ashley's found
30:12his chat on a trip to the lab.
30:14Really weird question, Matt.
30:16What is your favourite word?
30:18My favourite word?
30:20Giblet milker.
30:22I've got a favourite word.
30:24I have got a favourite word.
30:26The weird thing is,
30:28I was thinking about it the other day
30:30and now I can't remember.
30:32What's your favourite then?
30:34What's yours?
30:36Pertaining.
30:38OK.
30:40Judged a book by its cover. Do you know these words?
30:42No, no, no, that's not what I'm laughing.
30:44I'm joking. It's just a strange...
30:46Because it's like a connecting word.
30:48Heard it in Beverly Hills Cop 2.
30:50When I was a kid, I was like,
30:52what is this, pertaining?
30:54OK.
30:56All right. You set off?
30:58Yeah, let's go.
31:00I would say,
31:02personally, I think there is a spark
31:04between me and Jamelia. Whether she thinks
31:06the same, time will tell.
31:08There was definitely some sort of energy in the room.
31:10We were both smiling. You know what they say,
31:12if you're ugly, you've got to make her laugh.
31:14Don't be too hard on yourself, Ash.
31:16Thank you, it was really lovely to see you again.
31:18I'll see you soon, hopefully. Yeah, take care.
31:20Rematch is coming soon. Rematch.
31:22I really love the fact that my opinion
31:24on him changed, because
31:26at The Mixer, I did think
31:28he was, how do I say it
31:30nicely, a bit of a bellend.
31:32But now I don't think that anymore.
31:34I think he's quite, quite, quite sweet, yeah.
31:36Maybe romance is still on the cards.
31:38I don't fancy him.
31:40Sorry.
31:42Maybe not.
31:44I feel so bad saying that
31:46sentence. Yeah, just don't.
31:48There ain't no romance pertaining to Ash.
31:50So with one
31:52unsuccessful date done, preparing
31:54for sweet success on his
31:56is randy little goggleboxer Stephen,
31:58who's checked himself in for a pamper.
32:00About to get some balls
32:02wrapped round my face, can't wait.
32:04After crying in front of the agents,
32:06I need all the help I can get
32:08to look fresh for my date tonight.
32:12Are you quite good with your skin routine?
32:14I wash my face with the same
32:16thing I wash my arse with, really.
32:18Same, the garden hose.
32:20Are you ready for this? I'm ready.
32:26Fuck me.
32:30They are some strong balls.
32:32I mean, it's going to be pretty awkward if I don't
32:34get on with my date, because he's from my
32:36hometown. So the agents
32:38kind of recommended that I
32:40kind of be less
32:42loud on
32:44my date. But if someone goes
32:46on about themselves constantly, that
32:48gives me the ick, and I think, oh, fuck
32:50me, shut up.
32:52Oh, it feels like a balloon.
32:54Smoother than a ball bag, that's
32:56for sure. It's so full,
32:58isn't it? It's all bouncy.
33:00It looks like someone's jizzed over my
33:02face. Is that a treatment?
33:04Where is this salon?
33:06With Stephen all set for tonight and his new
33:08bouncy balloon jizz face,
33:10back over
33:12at the agency, and after a busy day,
33:14the coming boy is heading up to debrief
33:16with Anna, Paul and Tara.
33:18Oh, gosh. It's been a
33:20dotty old day today. Been busy.
33:22Hasn't it? It's been the chat
33:24downstairs. Yes. I think
33:26Ella stands out for acceleration,
33:28because she had a
33:30lovely kiss with Rhys.
33:32And then, when
33:34pressed, it seemed as though
33:36it might be a sort of a kiss, dot,
33:38dot, dot, you know. But then
33:40Paul and I... Yep, yep.
33:42...asked her... Yes.
33:44...if there had been
33:46anything else. And she alluded
33:48to
33:50after...
33:52After hours. After hours,
33:54but only kissing. Now, the issue
33:56here... Yeah, say it.
33:58It's not the sex, if that
34:00indeed has happened. The issue...
34:02Say it. Give her
34:04a chance. ...is the lying.
34:06This is incongruent from what she
34:08was saying to us,
34:10the opportunity she was giving.
34:12At brunch, we will all have
34:14an opportunity to address this.
34:16I love it when it gets forceful.
34:26Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
34:28So far, jammy ditch to
34:30Ashley. I don't fancy you.
34:32Sorry.
34:34Chris ain't feeling the
34:36jealous type of Sukaina.
34:38Sympathetically, we're in a relationship. Yeah.
34:40Am I allowed to have friends that are girls? No.
34:42And Ella's already said
34:44she don't fancy Danny. Oh, my God, I never
34:46fancy him. I've got no idea.
34:48It's a good start. Come on, Danny,
34:50we need this. I think this is
34:52a great time to ruin each other's dates, to be honest.
34:54Here we go. You ever put a chocolate
34:56bar up your bum? Not a chocolate bar.
34:58Not a chocolate bar.
35:00Can you imagine if it was a Toblerone?
35:02Brr, brr.
35:04I can. Get caught on the
35:06fourth help.
35:08You're on the right way
35:10to a second date here, mate.
35:12I'm literally in love with you. You're so
35:14funny. Just jotting down Toblerone
35:16up bum hole for my next tour.
35:20Across London, fresh-faced
35:22and wrinkle-free. Looking good.
35:24Feeling great. Keen
35:26Bean Stephen is ready and waiting for his
35:28date with Dean, the driving instructor.
35:30He's going to show up, isn't he?
35:32After his last date,
35:34Stephen said he was going to relax more
35:36and not force the banter. Let's see
35:38if he can restrain himself.
35:40Oh, here he is, taking it easy
35:42in third gear. Don't want to burn your engine out
35:44too early.
35:46I'm actually hoping Stephen
35:48is the man I see on the sofa on Gogglebox
35:50because I actually will sit at home and
35:52laugh at him. I think he's really funny.
35:54How you doing, mate? Right. Yes, hi, Stephen.
35:56Nice to meet you. How are you? I'm so nervous.
35:58Don't be, don't be.
36:00Don't be. I've ordered
36:02your drink. What did you order, mate?
36:04I've ordered a lychee
36:06martini. Oh, I love martinis.
36:08Oh, there you go. So this is looking
36:10good. Dean's dressed well.
36:12He's got a beard, which I like.
36:14No nasal hair. Winner, winner. Chicken
36:16dinner. Are you hungry? Yeah.
36:18Yeah. I've not eaten since one o'clock. Come on.
36:20You can have what you want, mate. Yeah. Fill your boots.
36:22You're paying.
36:24No.
36:26What did you fancy? Do you know
36:28what? I really fancy a bit of meat.
36:30Oh, strap yourselves in. Here we go.
36:32All aboard the innuendo express.
36:34Do it. Yeah.
36:36Do you like meat, Dean? I fucking love meat.
36:38You do, yeah? Yes, of course I do. Tongue?
36:40Do you like a bit of tongue? Classic.
36:42Not to eat, but to kiss
36:44someone, yes. Yeah.
36:46That's good. So, I'm bringing out the
36:48big guns, all my banter, my
36:50innuendos, but Dean's just
36:52not biting. Well, I'm not really into
36:54starters, so I'm quite happy to jump
36:56straight to the main and have a bit of dessert.
36:58Finally.
37:00Up for a bit of dessert, Dean?
37:02Get it? Get it? A bit of afters, a bit of
37:04asia, father? Oh, give up.
37:06While Stephen tries to get the innuendo
37:08express back on the tracks,
37:10over at
37:12Chris and Ella's date, they're still playing
37:1420 questions with Danny. Carry on.
37:16These are so much fun. Go on.
37:18Tell us something
37:20surprising about yourself that we wouldn't have
37:22guessed from looking at you.
37:24So, I've been into trans
37:26for the last 20 years. Did he say trans
37:28or trains?
37:30Drop of the bomb.
37:32Right, OK. He's got history.
37:34Danny's been into trans women for 20
37:36years. I think we should explore
37:38this. Oh, should we go to the bar?
37:40Yeah. OK. You guys have fun
37:42at the bar.
37:44So...
37:46No wacky questions, Chris. Like, would you
37:48rather have dicks for fingers or a finger for a dick,
37:50or bumhole for a mouth, or mouth for a bumhole?
37:52Bumhole mouth would be fun, though, to be fair.
37:54Would you like a fact? Yeah, go for it.
37:56OK. Here we go.
37:58You're going to love this. OK. Did you know giraffe
38:00semen is lighter than air?
38:02Interesting.
38:04I missed that episode of Life on Earth. I hope
38:06Attenborough wore gloves.
38:08It's a good chart. It's a really great chart. Yeah, it's a great chart.
38:10OK.
38:12I'm going to be honest. Yeah. I'm getting
38:14the feeling that it's reciprocal anyway.
38:16I just don't think we align that well.
38:18I feel like we just need to get to know
38:20each other a little bit more.
38:22That's a chance.
38:24Yeah, I think, for me, it was just the
38:26thing that you said about not having any
38:28friends that are girls.
38:30Mmm. That put you off.
38:32Maybe we can't
38:34move on like that. Oh, God.
38:36Hopefully things aren't as serious over at the bar
38:38with Danny and Ella. OK.
38:40I'll be honest. The non-monogamy,
38:42that's not for me.
38:44If I'm with someone, I want to be with them. Yeah.
38:46So I'm just saying that now. I get it.
38:48So if that's not for you, don't have a second
38:50date with me. I want a second date with you.
38:52And do you know what, Ella? You're being
38:54honest. Yeah, I am. I like that.
38:56Do you really honestly fancy that you genuinely
38:58could...? Like 110%.
39:00Oh, my God. I'd kiss the last one,
39:02I'll be honest, and I promised I wouldn't do that. Oh, my
39:04God. OK.
39:06MUSIC
39:08They're kissing.
39:10Fuck me.
39:12I can't be happy for other people.
39:14MUSIC
39:16LAUGHTER
39:18It's all right.
39:20For an older man, you're quite good at kissing.
39:22Thanks, babes. I like a bit of tongue.
39:24And it looked like you got a lot of it.
39:26Well, whilst those two take a break from the tongue
39:28fest, over in
39:30the city, we left Stephen trying hard
39:32to spice up his date with a bit of
39:34sexy flanter with Dean.
39:36I'm a driving instructor. Yeah,
39:38I did say. They did tell me, yeah.
39:40Which I was a bit like, ooh.
39:42What the fuck? Boring.
39:44Have you ever shagged anyone back in your car?
39:46Do you want to shag someone
39:48in the back of your car? Is your car
39:50outside? Car's not outside.
39:52Have I shagged
39:54any of my students? No,
39:56I have not. Dean's a sweet guy,
39:58but his chat is dry.
40:00I need to spice this up a bit.
40:02Mirror, signal, manoeuvre, off you go.
40:04Dean, what are your sexual preferences?
40:06Are you asking what I like to do in the bedroom?
40:08Yes, I will let someone fuck
40:10me, is what you're asking.
40:12On a first date?
40:14No. Do you know what? I've got a boundary.
40:16Second date.
40:18Third.
40:20Third slash maybe
40:22third and a half. I can do anything on a first
40:24date. I found... I think that's
40:26boring. Well, call me boring then.
40:28Don't do it. You're boring.
40:30Ouch. If you want to shag,
40:32shag, that's what I say.
40:34Love a shawl. Imagine if
40:36you leave here and get hit by a bus.
40:38And then you're sitting up there playing
40:40an art, thinking, I wish I'd fucking shagged
40:42you.
40:44Well, he's definitely not going to shag you now.
40:46That is so sexy. I know.
40:48Sex. Perfectly timed.
40:50Sexual personified.
40:52Whilst we leave Stephen on
40:54that major fall, let's rejoin
40:56Ella and Danny where the handbrake was
40:58off and he was showing some serious
41:00crotch control. Clutch, clutch control.
41:02Oh, hi.
41:04That's my favourite way to be referred to.
41:06Hiya. What were you two
41:08doing at the bar? Distracted.
41:10Yeah. You seem to have some lip gloss
41:12on your mouth, sir.
41:14I fell, I tripped,
41:16and my lips ended up and landed
41:18on his, but it was an accident. I hate that.
41:22This has been absolutely delightful.
41:24Thoroughly enjoyed everybody's company.
41:26Would you like to see me again?
41:28I'd love to.
41:30I've had a great time as well. I do need to head off
41:32now. An unspecified emergency
41:34has just cropped up that I can't tell you about.
41:36But it was lovely to meet you.
41:38Great to meet you.
41:40Try and be a bit more enthusiastic, please, Chris.
41:42Nice to meet you.
41:44Chris, he's not
41:46used to being made to work for it.
41:48I feel like he doesn't want to
41:50take the time to peel back the layers
41:52and really get to know someone. But he's a great
41:54guy and I just wish he gave it
41:56time and space. I really have
41:58enjoyed it and I'd like to see you again.
42:00See you soon. Thank you for being funny.
42:02You're welcome. Makes up for
42:04how old you are.
42:06Joking.
42:08Hi.
42:10My date was fantastic. Really enjoyed
42:12Ella's company and
42:14could not have asked for a better
42:16companion to spend the evening with.
42:18Don't think we could have had more opposite dates.
42:20I'm really happy for you, by the way.
42:24I'll show you on a date with him, separate date.
42:26And just spend time with him.
42:28I bet you would. Just you, Danny
42:30and a massive duty-free Toblerone.
42:32I feel really blessed.
42:34I kind of went into this
42:36thinking, my date is going to be shit.
42:38But actually it's come out
42:40the complete opposite.
42:42Right, come on then, you sausage this.
42:44Sausage? I've had enough.
42:46I don't know if I could have been with a more
42:48unmatched person.
42:50To me. I feel like
42:52I was Gandalf.
42:54She was Charmander.
42:56For the non-nerds, one's a wizard, one's a lizard.
42:58Universes
43:00apart.
43:02So if the night draws to a close,
43:04stick your hazards on, as we're about to rejoin
43:06Stephen, and it's a highway code
43:08red, as he just called Dean boring.
43:10So like, I am getting to the
43:12point in my life where I'm looking beyond people's looks.
43:14That's a real
43:16compliment. Thank you.
43:18So, I'm beyond looks,
43:20now I'll go with old geezer.
43:22Lost you. What was I talking about?
43:24Your previous relationships.
43:26The baggage from my previous
43:28is not here now, it's just
43:30a really kind, loving relationship.
43:32That make sense?
43:34Yeah, I mean, it makes sense to you.
43:36You just want to fuck, don't you?
43:38What? You just want to fuck.
43:40I just want to fuck? Yeah.
43:42Oh, fuck. This is what the vibe I get.
43:44Is it? Yeah.
43:46No, that's not my
43:48vibe at all. Okay, good.
43:50I mean, I could do with
43:52one, but I'm not going to lie.
43:54But I'm a little bit insulted about that.
43:56Well, I mean, just from what you've been saying.
43:58You're getting a vibe off me that all I'm
44:00here for is for a fuck. No, not, I mean,
44:02just jokingly in the conversation and the language
44:04that we've been having. I'm trying to have a
44:06crack. Yeah, yeah. We're having a crack.
44:08You've been quite sensible and I,
44:10we're on a first date.
44:12I thought you might be a little bit
44:14more fun. Oh, God.
44:16I think you're being a bit
44:18full on with me.
44:20A little bit, yeah.
44:22I am being flirtatious, yeah.
44:24I take on board what you're saying.
44:26Yeah. You know, I get that.
44:28So I'm trying to lift this date up because it's boring.
44:30So I'm bringing out all my spicy banter
44:32and Dean's accusing me of just wanting
44:34a one night stand. Well,
44:36that's not the case. Oh, here we go. Let's pay up
44:38and get out. So what are we going to do
44:40with the bill? He's going to try and fuck it.
44:42I think when the date's
44:44not gone great, I think
44:4650-50 is the best option.
44:48The thing is, in my generation, we just do that.
44:50That's all. Like, it's kind of like
44:52common decency. We're in a cost of living crisis.
44:54You know what I mean? OK. What?
44:56My generation? What does he think I am?
44:58A geriatric? Do you know what? I'm going to get it.
45:00I'm going to get it because I know
45:02obviously you've
45:04been speaking about the crisis.
45:06No, I mean,
45:08my business is good.
45:10Thanks very much. Thank you so much. Cheers.
45:12I'm going to head off. I wish you all the best.
45:14I don't think the date's been successful.
45:16It's been an absolute car crash, pun intended.
45:18Good luck with everything, yeah? Thank you so much.
45:20All right, bye. Take care. Bye.
45:22They hate each other.
45:24Out of ten, I would say this was a zero.
45:26I've never been so disrespected
45:28or spoken to so badly
45:30on a first date before.
45:32I tried to inject some fun
45:34into the date. You know, I was being a bit
45:36cheeky and a bit saucy, and it just
45:38failed, and then he accused
45:40me of just being all about the date,
45:42which I'm not. There was no fun.
45:44There was definitely no bum fun.
45:46Bum, bum, bum.
45:48Oh, Steve-o.
45:50Steve-o. Fingers crossed we can find
45:52some bum fun for you.
45:54Next week...
45:56Hold on to your ring pieces
45:58because the brunches are back.
46:00This is an ultimatum. There are
46:02confrontations for Chris.
46:04I'm not really on board with my man
46:06having a lot of female friends. Not a lot.
46:08Brutal truths for Stephen.
46:10You will not be successful
46:12in life if you continue this way.
46:14And secrets revealed
46:16for Ella.
46:18Can I have another kiss and depart both our different ways?
46:20Was that the full story?
46:22Sending emotions off the charts.
46:24I'm kind of self-centered.
46:26Ella, Ella. This is so embarrassing.