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Transcript
00:00Mom, what are you doing here?
00:11Is this about the clocks?
00:13Fine.
00:14Last night, I turned them all back so I wouldn't get busted for staying out past curfew, but
00:18I never changed them back, and now we're all living in the past.
00:21Hi, Lele.
00:22Good to see you.
00:23Thanks for the unnecessary, low-stakes confession.
00:25Sit down.
00:26I have news.
00:27Hang on.
00:28Hang on.
00:29What time is it?
00:30Do I take my pills now, or not?
00:31You took it at breakfast.
00:32That was yesterday.
00:33Oh, no.
00:34Did we have breakfast today?
00:35Yeah.
00:36You were toast.
00:37On a Tuesday?
00:38That doesn't sound like me.
00:39Just tell me if this could go on forever.
00:40So, your dad was offered his dream job.
00:41He's on his way to Skywalker Ranch to shadow George Lucas and write a book about the making
00:42of the new Star Wars movies.
00:43What?
00:44I know.
00:45It happened really fast.
00:46He got the call, packed his bag, and said goodbye to me and Wookiee.
00:47What?
00:48What?
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02:26You force me in to this, I'll take all the pills.
02:30Could've just said no.
02:32I'm flying out tomorrow to get your dad settled.
02:34I want to make a decision before I go, alright.
02:37I just, I have to consider all the pros and cons.
02:39Donna, Donna!
02:41I found your old high school gym shirt.
02:44I made an appointment at Penny's to redo our family pics.
02:48I hope you can still fit on my lap.
02:51Dad, that is incredibly weird.
02:54Come on, if you lived here, we could do stuff like this all the time.
02:59If you end up in California, take me with you.
03:19There's a chance you're going to be staying for the whole year?
03:22Bro, are you hearing this?
03:25Yeah, that's awesome.
03:27Nate, he's talking to his doll.
03:30Me too.
03:31I am so happy for you.
03:34Can you three please focus?
03:36We have one day to make this happen.
03:38It's going to be really hard to convince my mom to move back here.
03:41Hey, is it because of that deer that keeps chasing people into the lake?
03:45You should have been there when it got Gwen.
03:47She runs like Kermit.
03:48Arrgh!
03:52I hope you enjoyed telling everyone that because now I'm going to ruin your life.
03:55Oh no!
03:58Leia, I need you here.
04:00You gotta talk your mom into it.
04:02It's complicated.
04:03As soon as she got back here, she was reminded of all the reasons she left.
04:06Well, we gotta get rid of all that noise so you actually have a chance when you talk to her.
04:10There's one more thing and I probably should have led with this.
04:13My grandpa Red has already said no.
04:15Well, I can talk to Red.
04:17He really respects me.
04:20Cool.
04:21I'll talk to Red.
04:23And see if I can get a yes out of him.
04:25Jay and I will deal with your grandma.
04:27That leaves us with Bob.
04:28Who's been lonely, which is sad.
04:30But right now, he's nothing but a loose-lipped, curly-haired pain in my ass.
04:35Sounds like Bob could really benefit from my men's support group.
04:38Hey, what do you need that for?
04:40I support the hell out of you, bro.
04:42You do.
04:43You do.
04:44I was shooting hoops at the rec center and found this room with donuts in it.
04:48I thought, how could this get any better?
04:50All of a sudden, the room was just filled with super supportive men.
04:54So, I just sat down.
04:57All right.
04:58Sounds like we have a plan.
05:00And some information about Nate we should really be sensitive to.
05:04Nikki, how are you?
05:07I'm all right.
05:08Thanks for checking on me.
05:10Since I broke up with Theo, I'm just so over relationships.
05:14Maybe my-
05:15Are you done? Because I'm done listening, if that helps.
05:20You know the ring Isaac gave me the night we made things official?
05:23The one I swore I'd never take off?
05:26Yeah.
05:27You know what?
05:28The ring Isaac gave me the night we made things official?
05:30The one I swore I'd never take off?
05:34Must have took it off, because it's gone as hell.
05:37You lost it?
05:38Oh man, he is not going to like that.
05:41If we're pointing out the obvious right now, you need to blend your foundation.
05:46Dude.
05:47Sorry.
05:48I'm freaking out, and I don't have the energy to pretend to be nice.
05:52Okay, calm down.
05:53When's the last time you remember having the ring?
05:56Last week, maybe.
05:58Why is my memory so foggy on this whole thing?
06:02Hey.
06:04Hey, you guys.
06:07I'm Mr. Peanut.
06:11Hey, you know what I've always wanted to ask you, Mr. Peanut?
06:15How do you feel about peanut butter?
06:17I mean, is that you when you're dead?
06:20Or is that what comes out of you?
06:23What you should be asking is why you've never seen Mrs. Peanut.
06:27It's because I'm dating Mr. Potato Head, and I'm thinking about popping the question.
06:32I don't trust you, Mr. Peanut.
06:34You're a peanut, but your goal is to get people to eat peanuts.
06:39That's messed up.
06:43You guys.
06:44He said yes.
06:47What is it, baby?
06:49Why so grumpy?
06:54That's my man.
06:56Do you remember where you put the ring after you married the potato?
07:01The rest of the night was whirlwind. You know how weddings are.
07:05Oh, so it's probably in the basement.
07:07No shit, cake face.
07:10Please help me look for it.
07:14Eric, I don't care that the urinals are shaped like R2-D2.
07:17Where are we gonna live?
07:20In California.
07:21Probably on top of an earthquake fault next door to a sex cult.
07:26Meanwhile here, I make biscuits from scratch.
07:30Mrs. Forbin, could you come out here? It's kind of urgent.
07:33Eric, you'll be fine out there on your own.
07:35You'll sleep better without her drooling on your chest.
07:40He tells me things.
07:44What's going on?
07:45Jay has something up his butt, and he can't get it out.
07:49What are you doing? I thought we were taking her to the fabric store.
07:52Not with that thing in your butt.
07:56I think you're a nurse, and you'll know what to do.
07:57Well, this could be serious.
07:58I'm gonna call my doctor friend, see if we can get you in right away.
08:01I really don't want to go to the doctor.
08:04Well, what you want got us into this situation.
08:08But I will be there with you.
08:10Let me get my purse. I'll be back.
08:14What the hell, Gwen?
08:16Have fun!
08:20I want to go to the fabric store!
08:22These guys always cheer me up, because they're more messed up than me.
08:26Like, Earl over there?
08:28Each of the last three houses he's lived in burned down.
08:31Welcome, friends!
08:35You think you did it?
08:37I think so, I do.
08:39All right, men, who needs support?
08:44It's a trick question. We all do.
08:48Women have more support.
08:51Women have bras. Men have bros.
08:56Mitch is awesome.
08:58He's seen every episode of Montel Williams and read his book, Mountain.
09:02Get out of my way. Life lessons and learn truths.
09:07It changed everything for me.
09:10Now, I like to start every meeting with an inspirational quote from Montel Williams,
09:13but I left my notebook at home, so today is a Mitch original.
09:18It doesn't matter how tall you are.
09:25That's it.
09:30Told you.
09:32I see a new face. Why don't you introduce yourself?
09:35I'm just a lucky little... I don't want to talk.
09:38Oh, give it a try. We're all here for you, boss. You take as much time as you need.
09:43Okay, well, my name's Bob Pinciotti.
09:47Stop talking.
09:50Pinciotti?
09:52Like Donna Pinciotti?
09:54Yeah, she's my daughter. She's actually in town.
09:58Really?
10:00Well, that's... that's dope, man.
10:02Is she... does anybody... do you...
10:05I'm just going to...
10:06Hey, does anybody need anything from the vending machine?
10:14There he is. Favorite color, favorite grandfather. It's red.
10:20Wouldn't it be cool if you could see this face all year long?
10:24Your grandma has pictures of you everywhere.
10:29Even in my crapper.
10:31I'll be fine.
10:33There must be some part of you that wants to say yes.
10:35My friends are here. My boyfriend's here.
10:37Do you really want to take that away from me?
10:39I would love to.
10:44I don't think I have ever complimented that fish.
10:47Did you catch that?
10:49Are you accusing me of hanging another man's fish?
10:541959, Key West.
10:58That SOB fought like the devil.
11:02But one of us had to win.
11:05And it was me.
11:09How about this?
11:10How about this? Can I get you to say you love me?
11:16Fine.
11:22Are you going to say it?
11:23I just did.
11:26So, to sum things up, I didn't hear a no.
11:29Thanks, Red.
11:32You can stay here forever.
11:40Oh, don't be ashamed.
11:42It's perfectly natural to want to explore your body.
11:47Mrs. Foreman, can I please just read my magazine?
11:50Okay.
11:51But just remember for next time,
11:53what goes up doesn't always come down.
11:57And don't worry, I won't tell Leia about this.
12:00Your friends will.
12:04Jay? Kelso?
12:07Promise me you won't leave.
12:09I need your face to be the first one I see when I wake up.
12:12Oh, honey, they don't put you under.
12:19There's nothing in there.
12:20Uh-huh. That's what they all say.
12:24So, yeah, I've been struggling a little lately.
12:28Had a bit of a breakdown in my neighbor's attic.
12:33Looked at some old pictures, peed in a pickle jar.
12:39I think I scared some people.
12:43I don't know.
12:44I don't know.
12:45I don't know.
12:46I don't know.
12:47I don't know.
12:48I don't know.
12:49I don't know.
12:50I don't know.
12:51I don't know.
12:53You know, people are scared of what they don't understand.
12:57Like an open flame.
13:00How does it work?
13:01And why is it so, so beautiful?
13:06Earl, don't take this the wrong way,
13:09but I'd like to uninvite you to my house.
13:14Thanks for listening, guys.
13:16I think I feel a little better.
13:19That's what's awesome about sharing your problems.
13:21You realize you don't have to do this alone.
13:23That's what's called an epiphany, brother.
13:25Father Montel talks about it in his book.
13:29Actually, can I get that back?
13:31I drew a bunch of weird stuff in there.
13:39Yeah, you're gonna want your own.
13:44Nikki, you're not even trying.
13:46Not caring about other people's problems is my thing.
13:49Get to looking!
13:51Maybe you're better off not finding the ring.
13:54Isaac will break up with you,
13:55and then you won't have to suffer through
13:57some pointless relationship as if it means something.
14:01But you guys are so cute together.
14:02Let's keep going.
14:05So, why did my grandma go with Jay to the doctor?
14:08Don't worry. It's hilarious.
14:10And Nate's off somewhere with Grandpa Bob.
14:12This is the perfect time to talk to my mom.
14:14Before you go up there, why don't you run it by us?
14:16Okay.
14:17Nikki, you're like the closest thing we have to a mom
14:20just because your genes go up really high
14:22and that one day we thought you were pregnant.
14:24That is not a chit-chat story.
14:26Okay, check it out.
14:28Mom, you made lifelong friends here,
14:31and I want to walk in your footsteps.
14:34I don't say this enough, but you're my hero.
14:38That was so bad, I don't want to live here anymore.
14:43Gwen, just keep it simple.
14:45Thanks to us, she has no reason to say no.
14:49Well, well, well.
14:53If it isn't Donna Pinchmehottie.
14:58Mitch? No, no, no, no, no, no.
15:00I'm not seeing Eric. Is he dead?
15:03He divorced? He's dead.
15:06We're still happily married.
15:07Took you a while to answer.
15:08No, it didn't.
15:10What do you want?
15:11I have a proposal.
15:12It's an indecent proposal.
15:16I'll give you a million dollars to spend the night with me.
15:42You better not have been thinking about me.
15:44Oh, damn it, I should have been thinking about you.
15:52Don't you dare.
15:54Mom, I... Oh, no.
15:56What are you doing here, Mitch?
15:58Shouldn't you be at Hot Topic scraping the deodorant off the returns?
16:02Shut up, Gwen. Say something.
16:04I'm sorry.
16:05I'm sorry.
16:06I'm sorry.
16:07I'm sorry.
16:08Shouldn't you be at Hot Topic scraping the deodorant off the returns?
16:11Shut up, Gwen. Say something cool about me right now.
16:16Grandma?
16:18What are you doing back so quickly?
16:20Oh, I promised I wouldn't say where we were,
16:22but make sure he sits on this for the next few days.
16:28Never doubt my love for you.
16:32See, that could be us.
16:33Okay, I'm done with you. Get out.
16:35Don't tell me that I don't have a million dollars.
16:37You're right.
16:38So let's take the money out of this, right?
16:40Like, I'd do it for free.
16:41Out.
16:44God, he is so annoying.
16:46Oh, Donna, I got you some new underwear.
16:49Yours is just a little too trampy for a married woman.
16:54Donna, I have so much to tell you.
16:56I've been to a support group,
16:58and Montel Williams gave me an episiotomy.
17:03And, uh, I helped.
17:07Why the hell is half the town in my kitchen?
17:12It's okay. I'm leaving.
17:13Mom, wait.
17:14Look, I know how much you want to stay,
17:16but this is all too much for me.
17:19I can get rid of them.
17:20Everyone, let's go look at the fish my grandpa caught.
17:24Oh, I bought that thing at a flea market.
17:29Kitty!
17:31You swore.
17:38Hey.
17:40Mind if I join you out here?
17:41Sure.
17:43You know, I used to watch you and Eric sit out here and talk.
17:48Oh, you're coming up here with me?
17:51Yeah.
17:52Just pretend I'm him and tell me what's on your mind.
17:56I'd rather not do that first part.
18:01Dad, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
18:03And it's scary.
18:05Sounds like a kiddo.
18:07I thought about calling Eric and telling him to come home,
18:10but I don't want to take that away from him.
18:12And Leia really found herself here.
18:16But there's a reason why I moved three hours away to Chicago.
18:19The deep dish pizza.
18:22Yeah, Dad. That's it.
18:25Whatever.
18:26It's not a big deal. I'll figure it out.
18:29It's a big deal to me.
18:31You're my daughter. It's my job to look out for you.
18:35And I think the reason you're feeling scared
18:39is you think you have to do this all on your own.
18:43Wow.
18:45Where did that come from?
18:46It was what my episiotomy was all about.
18:50I promise you did not have an episiotomy.
18:54Listen.
18:55You have a tough decision to make.
18:58We're all here to support you.
19:01And no matter where you end up,
19:04if you ever need me,
19:06I'll be on the next flight.
19:10You want to go inside?
19:12I do.
19:14But I think I pulled my ass getting up here.
19:23Maybe you did have an episiotomy.
19:29Nicky!
19:30Oi!
19:32Good, you're awake.
19:34I remember where the ring is.
19:36I got the ring in here.
19:39I'm going to eat my way to the bottom and find it.
19:43Good luck, man.
19:47You guys know what happened to my Doritos?
19:51I don't know.
19:54I blinked and I forgot to open my eyes again.
19:58I gave one of those heart rings to Nicky
20:00on our three-month anniversary.
20:02But what she doesn't know is
20:04I bought it right after our first date
20:06because I already knew how special she was.
20:09I know it's too late to say that to Nicky,
20:11but you've got to say it to some chick
20:13because that's a first-class ticket to Bangladesh.
20:18I swallowed the ring.
20:20It's where my food is now.
20:23Nate gave you the exact same ring.
20:26So, give me yours
20:28and then I don't have to tell Isaac that I lost mine.
20:30Hold on.
20:31Nate really said all that about me?
20:33Ring.
20:34Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.
20:37Um, I got rid of the ring.
20:39What?
20:40The ring.
20:41The ring.
20:42The ring.
20:43The ring.
20:44The ring.
20:45The ring.
20:46Um, I got rid of all the stuff he gave me after we broke up.
20:49Bummer.
20:51I guess I have to wrap my finger in gauze
20:53and say I got it caught in a blender.
20:55He'll believe that. He knows I juice.
21:08Frickin' Nate.
21:13This sucks.
21:14I don't want to leave.
21:15California's not that bad.
21:17Snoop Dogg's always saying,
21:18West Coast, Best Coast.
21:21It's gotta count for something, right?
21:25Who's Snoop Dogg?
21:28Here.
21:29You're gonna need this.
21:32Your old Point Place gym shirt?
21:35Oh, God.
21:36Do I have to sit on Grandpa's lap at JCPenney's?
21:40I think she's telling you that you're staying.
21:43You're telling me that I'm staying?
21:45We did it. I know I never believed in you.
21:48You're very welcome from over here.
21:50Mom, thank you, thank you, thank you.
21:54Are you sure this is okay for you?
21:56Yeah.
21:58I'm gonna be splitting time between you and your dad,
22:00so don't give your grandparents a hard time.
22:02Stay out of trouble.
22:04I'll keep an eye on her for you, Mrs. Foreman.
22:06Oh, thanks. One of my main concerns.
22:12What's happening?
22:13What's happening?
22:15She letting you stay?
22:17There is nothing like a fresh pair of underwear
22:20to help you make the right decision.
22:29I know I give off a rock star vibe,
22:32but today I feel like a cigarette butt
22:34in a urinal that's CBGBs.
22:38I lost my one shot with the lady of my dreams.
22:40On the other hand, I did save a million dollars.
22:46You wanna start us off, new guy?
22:49Well, uh...
22:51I'm here today because
22:54my grandkid and my daughter-in-law
22:56have decided to stay in town.
22:58Also, I want everybody here to know
23:00that I have a big fish on my wall at home
23:05that I caught myself.
23:08Donna is staying?
23:10Ha-ha!
23:11I knew she would see the Mitch and get the E.
23:13Stop that.
23:14That means, like...
23:17Somebody ought to hit you.
23:22Red!
23:23Earl!
23:24Well, I haven't seen you in a while.
23:26I was away for about 12 years.
23:30Moved out of town?
23:32Something like that.
23:34All right, gang.
23:35Why don't we practice our trust falls?
23:36Not you, Earl. I do not trust you.
23:40Or none of the other heroes.
24:11You
24:13You
24:15You
24:17You
24:19You
24:21You
24:23You
24:40You