The Big Fat Quiz of Telly

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Transcript

00:00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

00:00:38Hello, and welcome to the Big Fat Quiz of Telly,

00:00:41where we'll be asking questions all about TV,

00:00:43like who commissioned this?

00:00:45Why is TV so self-regarding?

00:00:47And is there anything else on?

00:00:49Let's meet the teams.

00:00:50Everyone knows a great TV double act needs a funny man

00:00:53and a weird-looking sidekick.

00:00:55I honestly don't know which one's which here.

00:00:57Please welcome Russell Howard and Babatunde Aleshe.

00:01:01Could be either.

00:01:03Could go either way.

00:01:06Next up, they're brother and sister,

00:01:08so we're hoping for the kind of on-screen chemistry

00:01:11we saw from Cersei and Jaime Lannister.

00:01:13It's Natasha and Jaime Demetriou.

00:01:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

00:01:21One appears on Never Mind The Buzzcocks,

00:01:23the other on Loose Women.

00:01:25So one makes a living talking about disappointing seven inches,

00:01:28and so does the other.

00:01:30It's Judy Love and Daisy May Cooper.

00:01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

00:01:37All about TV, favourite TV show of all time?

00:01:39Russell, you've got a favourite?

00:01:41Sunday Brunch, I guess.

00:01:44Yeah, I think it's that or The Wire.

00:01:48Babatunde, favourite TV show? What do you like?

00:01:50You know what? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is my all-time favourite show.

00:01:54Yes, yes! Yeah.

00:01:56I can watch that any time. Yeah.

00:01:58Do you know the rap? Which rap?

00:02:00The beginning one. Oh, yeah, of course I do.

00:02:02What do you mean, which rap?

00:02:04No, no, he caught me off guard there.

00:02:06I thought you were talking about...

00:02:08That's as much as we can afford!

00:02:12Don't say another... No!

00:02:14If you say any more, we've got to play Will Smith.

00:02:17Jaime, Natasha, favourite TV shows? What do you like?

00:02:19We don't share one.

00:02:22Anything where someone's talking about reaching for their dreams

00:02:26at any point I'm into.

00:02:28Just things where people are going to give 110% or...

00:02:32Like The Apprentice. Yeah, The Apprentice.

00:02:34If they're feeling nervous but excited,

00:02:36I'm probably going to watch it.

00:02:38That's a whole genre of TV summed up beautifully there.

00:02:41Natasha, favourite TV shows?

00:02:43Mine, sorry, Sunday Brunch or The Wire.

00:02:47All the questions are about Sunday Brunch or The Wire.

00:02:49If you've just tuned in, you don't watch Sunday Brunch or The Wire,

00:02:52do one.

00:02:54Judy, Daisy?

00:02:55I'm going to go for one of the other only three black shows

00:03:00that are shown in the UK...

00:03:03..in the 80s.

00:03:05So, Desmond.

00:03:07Oh, God!

00:03:0920, 30 years ago. Daisy?

00:03:11It's got to be Four In A Bed,

00:03:13because everybody on it is just as petty as I am.

00:03:18I love it.

00:03:19Have you seen the one with the bloke who's, like, mental about eggs

00:03:22and judges everybody on their eggs?

00:03:24Then they get to his and he can't cook eggs.

00:03:26And he's cooking eggs in a volcanic-themed kitchen.

00:03:30It's insane.

00:03:32Now, I've not seen the show, so I think you're having a breakdown.

00:03:37Russell Babatunde, you got a team name?

00:03:39Well, we were trying to do a pun with our names,

00:03:41Babatunde and Russell.

00:03:44It's pretty easy.

00:03:46And we came up with Babagaruss,

00:03:49as in Babaganoosh, Babagaroosh.

00:03:54It's a dip. It's a dip.

00:03:57OK, there's nothing to beat, Jamie and the team.

00:04:00Nothing to beat team names-wise.

00:04:02We want to win the quiz.

00:04:04We're called Channel 4.

00:04:08Babagoosh something.

00:04:10Hey, Babagaroos.

00:04:13And that's our move, Babagaroos.

00:04:17Channel 4. We're called Channel 4, yeah.

00:04:19The big fan quiz, Channel 4.

00:04:23Judy, Daisy, what have you got, team name?

00:04:25Well, I came up with the slags, but you won't imagine.

00:04:31We can't say slags. Yeah, slags.

00:04:36The slags, fantastic.

00:04:39Right, let's get on with the show.

00:04:41Our first round is all about TV's most memorable moments.

00:04:44The 1986 EastEnders Christmas special featuring Dirty Den

00:04:48is the most-watched show in British TV history.

00:04:5130 million people tuned in.

00:04:53The only divorce that will get more attention

00:04:55will be Meghan and Harris.

00:04:57Love Island hit our screens in 2015.

00:05:00It's a psychological study of what happens

00:05:02when you dump a bunch of horny people on an island,

00:05:04sort of Lord of the Unzipped Flies.

00:05:08The rules of Love Island are simple.

00:05:1020 contestants enter a villa and then each other.

00:05:14In 2003, Cilla Black quit Blind Date live on air.

00:05:18Cilla quitting was a shock to everyone, including Cilla,

00:05:20when she sobered up and they told her what she'd done.

00:05:26All right, who's up for some big, fat TV questions?

00:05:28We want to change our name.

00:05:29What do you want to change your name to?

00:05:31To The Dyslexics. Yeah.

00:05:33Are you going to be The Dyslexic Slags?

00:05:36Perfect.

00:05:37How about The Mighty Ladies Of The Night?

00:05:39That's a little bit more...

00:05:41Yeah, The Dyslexic Ladies Of The Night.

00:05:45Shall we all do a name change?

00:05:47ITV?

00:05:53Dyslexic Ladies Of The Night.

00:05:54OK, why not? Fine. All right, questions.

00:05:56First up, have a listen to this.

00:05:58What iconic TV moment are we hearing?

00:06:00You've got to write down your answers.

00:06:03HE SCREAMS

00:06:19All right, next up, we've got a question from Bake Off legend

00:06:22Nadia Hussein.

00:06:24Hi, Jimmy. Winning the Great British Bake Off changed my life

00:06:27and was a dream come true, but back in 2014,

00:06:30Baker Ian Watters' dreams were shattered

00:06:33when he was involved in one of the show's biggest controversies.

00:06:36What happened?

00:06:38So, Nadia wants to know what controversy shattered the dreams

00:06:41of Baker Ian Watters back in 2014.

00:06:47If I was a gambling man, I don't see a win there.

00:06:53All right, in 2016, an episode of Celebrity Big Brother aired,

00:06:57which has been described by viewers as

00:06:59the biggest mix-up in history, like a Shakespearean tragedy,

00:07:03the best meme to come out of England.

00:07:05What was the confusion?

00:07:07It was a 2016 episode of Celebrity Big Brother.

00:07:09What happened?

00:07:11All right, finally for this round, back in 2003,

00:07:14TV ghost-botherer Derek Okora contacted the spirit world

00:07:18in an attempt to commune with infamous high woman Dick Turpin

00:07:21during a live episode of Most Haunted.

00:07:23What message did he famously receive from the ghost?

00:07:27Derek Okora died about four years ago.

00:07:29Anyone else think it's weird we've not heard a word from him?

00:07:34Have you ever been to a spiritualist church?

00:07:36Yes.

00:07:37What just amazed me, it was always just the same of, like,

00:07:40Tom's there, he says he loves you, he says, go on with your life.

00:07:43There's never, like, not once am I going,

00:07:45collapse the fuck dungeon, they know everything.

00:07:50All right, time for the first set of answers.

00:07:52I asked you what iconic TV moment this was.

00:07:57HE PANTS

00:08:02Russell, what did you put?

00:08:04We went for Mary Berry watching Human Centipede.

00:08:09Oh!

00:08:12You were going to kick yourselves, because you're so close.

00:08:16It's Mary Berry watching the Human Centipede 2.

00:08:20I can't give it to you.

00:08:22What did you go for, Jamie, Natasha?

00:08:24What did Paul Burrell in I'm A Celebrity get me out of here?

00:08:27And she's answered it in full, like professional Channel 4 people do.

00:08:32What have you bothered to write down, Judy, Daisy?

00:08:35Um, hello, we got this right, I'm a celebrity.

00:08:40It didn't ask who it was.

00:08:43Yeah, we did. When?

00:08:45In the question.

00:08:47All I heard was what was the iconic moment on TV,

00:08:50and I heard that noise and I know it was...

00:08:53The iconic moment was every episode of I'm A Celebrity there's ever been.

00:08:56Well, let's treat ourselves, let's have a look.

00:08:59I can't feel anything at the minute.

00:09:01I'm going to put my...

00:09:03HE SCREAMS

00:09:05HE SCREAMS

00:09:08HE SCREAMS

00:09:11HE PANTS

00:09:15What is it, what is it, what is it?

00:09:17HE MUMBLES

00:09:20HE MUMBLES

00:09:25It's cockroaches, isn't it?

00:09:33They should mic up the cockroaches.

00:09:36Like, oh, who's this prick? Who is this prick?

00:09:39Oh, he's touching my mum up.

00:09:43So that was Paul Burrell taking part in the Bush Tucker trial.

00:09:46You get a point there, Jamie and Natasha.

00:09:48You're the best one so far. No, no.

00:09:51All right, Nadia Hussein asked you what controversy

00:09:53rocked the fifth series of Bake Off back in 2014.

00:09:56What have you written?

00:09:58We...

00:10:01We wrote melted.

00:10:03What happened in the iconic moment?

00:10:05Someone, didn't someone leave a fridge open?

00:10:07And it melted.

00:10:09Jamie, Natasha, did you get this?

00:10:11We remember he was Irish.

00:10:14I know he had an orange cardigan on and he was Irish.

00:10:17And that was the answer.

00:10:19And that is from a great Channel 4 show purchased from the BBC.

00:10:23The Great British Bake Off.

00:10:25And check it out on...

00:10:27Channel 4.

00:10:31There's a real hostage video vibe to it.

00:10:35You know sometimes when they go,

00:10:37they're treating us very well on Channel 4.

00:10:39But what did you go for?

00:10:41What did you go for?

00:10:43He slapped a fly.

00:10:45Like, he slapped it. The fly was flying around, buzzing around.

00:10:48He was just like, pussy hole, bang!

00:10:52Yes, I remember him saying, pussy hole, bang.

00:10:54Yeah, yeah.

00:10:56Melted will get you a point.

00:10:58What?!

00:11:05It was bin gates.

00:11:07A baker, Diana, innocently took Ian's baked Alaska from a freezer,

00:11:11causing it to melt and then put it in the bin.

00:11:13Bin gate. It's huge.

00:11:15OK. I wanted to know what Celebrity Big Brother viewers described

00:11:18as the biggest mix-up in history, like a Shakespearean tragedy,

00:11:21and the best meme to come out of England.

00:11:23What did you get?

00:11:25We went straight to it again.

00:11:27No, of course, yes.

00:11:29David's dead. David's dead.

00:11:31David's dead. OK, what have you got for this, Jamie, Natasha?

00:11:33Or no.

00:11:35Kinga travelled a bottle towards her area.

00:11:40Sorry, travelled?

00:11:42Commute.

00:11:44She commuted a bottle towards her pan.

00:11:49Pan?!

00:11:53Another one?

00:11:55She encouraged a bottle in the vicinity of her bin gate.

00:12:02Very nice. Very nice, yeah.

00:12:06What have you got, Russell?

00:12:08David Bowie died, and I thought they thought it was David Jason.

00:12:12OK, let's take a look at the chaotic and misleading moment

00:12:15everyone was talking about.

00:12:17David's dead.

00:12:19No, he's not.

00:12:21You can't. You can't. You can't do that.

00:12:24Sit down, babe. Sit down.

00:12:26They told me that David is dead.

00:12:28David's... Yes! David's...

00:12:30Yes! She said he just died,

00:12:33No!

00:12:35Where's David? Where's David?

00:12:39That is so...

00:12:43Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.

00:12:45Tiffany, Tiffany.

00:12:47What?

00:12:49Don't, don't, don't, don't. Stay away.

00:12:51Sit with me, sit with me.

00:12:53Come and sit down.

00:12:55What did I do?

00:12:57You told her that David was dead with cancer.

00:12:59Yes, he is. He's in there asleep.

00:13:02My ex-husband.

00:13:05Oh, that was... It was quite funny.

00:13:07It was, of course. Tiffany Pollard mistakenly believing

00:13:10fellow Big Brother housemate David Guest had died.

00:13:12Point. No points. Point.

00:13:17And finally, I asked you what message TV medium Derek Okora

00:13:20received from a ghost while searching for the spirit

00:13:23of high woman Dick Turpin. What did you put?

00:13:25Yeah, I saw this. He said, suck your mum.

00:13:28You are so close.

00:13:30Natasha, Jamie, did you see this?

00:13:32I was catching up with Tash when the question was asked.

00:13:35We don't see each other that often,

00:13:37that's the main reason we're here tonight.

00:13:39But by the looks of it, he heard something pretty funny.

00:13:46What have you actually written down?

00:13:48Was catching up with my sister.

00:13:50Er, Judy Daisy...

00:13:52Mary loves Dick.

00:13:54Let's have a look and see if you're right.

00:13:56There's this peace and calm of spiritual activity there with...

00:14:00SHE GROANS

00:14:02You all right?

00:14:04Hold on.

00:14:08What is it, Derek? You all right?

00:14:12Mary loves Dick. Mary loves Dick.

00:14:17Harry loves Dick.

00:14:19Richard.

00:14:23Don't say all those things about him.

00:14:25Don't.

00:14:27You all right?

00:14:31You all right?

00:14:33Hold on. You all right?

00:14:35Just for a moment,

00:14:37an energy came in and there's annoyance.

00:14:40A nice lady, but I feel as if she's got this great love for Dick.

00:14:47What do you make of Derek Okora? Do you believe in any of that stuff?

00:14:50I went to a...

00:14:52Cos I love all ghosts and stuff like this,

00:14:54and I went to Shepton Mallet Prison, right?

00:14:56And we had to stand in a circle,

00:14:58and the medium there, who was very much like Derek Okora,

00:15:01asked us if we could feel anything.

00:15:03And one guy that was there said,

00:15:05I can feel something inserting into my anus.

00:15:09To which the Derek Okora guy said, well, we are in a prison.

00:15:13Isn't that extraordinary?

00:15:15But was it for a TV show or was it, like, for a day trip?

00:15:18Oh, no, no, it's just out of my spare time.

00:15:22You did this for free? No, I paid! I paid!

00:15:27Of course, it wouldn't be the Big Fat Quiz without an appearance

00:15:30from the children of Mitchellbrook Primary School,

00:15:32but this time, there's a twist.

00:15:34The children have been shown three TV shows

00:15:36that were all made before they were born.

00:15:38All I want you to do is listen for the clues

00:15:40and tell me what they've been watching. Have a look.

00:15:44That is so crazy, right?

00:15:48He looks super silly and funny.

00:15:51He sleeps with a teddy bear.

00:15:53And the man is wearing a tie.

00:15:56OMG.

00:15:58He was using, like, a mop at the bottom of it to lose the card.

00:16:03There was no-one inside.

00:16:05Oh, I don't know what this is.

00:16:07I don't know what this is.

00:16:09Oh, there was no-one inside.

00:16:12Oh, I don't like him to drive me to school.

00:16:17They climbed up a ladder.

00:16:20And there was fun.

00:16:22He said, are you ready? Then he broke the light.

00:16:25I think they'll get in trouble because the lamp was special.

00:16:29At the last bit, there was the superheroes wearing pants.

00:16:35It's so funny.

00:16:38I saw Batman and Robin.

00:16:44He looked like a tough man and the strongest man in the world.

00:16:51I saw people running and trying to knock people off what they were standing on.

00:16:57And then they went like that.

00:16:59It looks like something you'd have for PE.

00:17:02He did it like the pose, like...

00:17:09Have you all got answers? Mm-hm.

00:17:11Show number one, Jamie and Natasha, what have you got?

00:17:14Naked Attraction.

00:17:20He wears a tie, he sleeps with a teddy bear,

00:17:23the little girl said she wouldn't like him to drive her to school.

00:17:27Yes, I should make clear,

00:17:29we did not show the children from Mitchellbrook Primary School

00:17:33Naked Attraction.

00:17:34Channel 4's lost its edge, what are you doing?

00:17:38OK, what did you think it was, Russell Babatunde?

00:17:41Mr Bean. And you went for, Judy, Daisy?

00:17:43Mr Bean. That's the right answer.

00:17:46Oh, yes.

00:17:51Next one, Babatunde, what have you got?

00:17:53We caught Thundercats. Judy, Daisy?

00:17:56Only Fools And Horses.

00:18:00OK, Jamie and Natasha, what have you got?

00:18:02Only Fools And Horses.

00:18:04That's the right answer.

00:18:05All right, the last one, what did you get?

00:18:08Gladiators.

00:18:10Gladiators, yeah.

00:18:12Gladiators and gladiators.

00:18:15Mr Bean, Only Fools And Horses, Gladiators, OK.

00:18:17At the end of the first round, let's take a look at the scores.

00:18:20So, Russell Babatunde, you've got three points, which...

00:18:24Hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:18:26Openly laughing at you, not with you, at you.

00:18:29Jamie and Natasha, you've got also three points.

00:18:32And when you come to us, can you actually say our name, please?

00:18:36And... And...

00:18:40..our team name has got how many points?

00:18:43Six.

00:18:46OK, that's it for part one.

00:18:49Just enough time for me to whip off these trousers

00:18:51and shoot my naked attraction audition video.

00:18:53See you after the break.

00:18:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

00:19:03Welcome back to the Big Fat Quiz of Telly,

00:19:05the show that asks questions about the very best shows on TV.

00:19:08And Emmerdale.

00:19:11Our next round is all about TV villains.

00:19:13Police drama Happy Valley portrays life in Yorkshire

00:19:16as hard, grim and full of violence and abuse.

00:19:18But there's more to Yorkshire than that.

00:19:20It's also fucking cold.

00:19:23In the year 2000, Nasty Nick shocked housemates

00:19:26and Big Brother with his villainy.

00:19:28Nick was labelled the most hated man in Britain

00:19:30by people who clearly had forgotten all about Piers Morgan.

00:19:34All right, time for some questions about villainy on TV.

00:19:36Here's your first one.

00:19:38In 2001, Major Charles Ingram became a household name

00:19:41after he was arrested for cheating his way to the jackpot

00:19:44on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

00:19:46Accomplice Tecwin Wittock was accused of coughing

00:19:48to signify right answers.

00:19:50What did he do to indicate wrong answers?

00:19:53Oh, no, I know.

00:19:55Yeah, yeah.

00:19:57Right, next question.

00:19:58I'm going to play you three evil laughs

00:20:00from some of TV's greatest villains.

00:20:02All I want you to do is tell me who's laughing.

00:20:15It's very odd when people have got weird laughs, isn't it?

00:20:18LAUGHTER

00:20:24Crime hotspot Midsommar has given us 25 years

00:20:27of improbable murders.

00:20:29Take a look at these photos of poor villagers

00:20:31moments before their demise.

00:20:33All I want to know is how they died.

00:20:35And, yeah, that is Martine McCutcheon.

00:20:40Babatunde, you've been in a bunch of stuff.

00:20:42You've acted in loads of things, haven't you?

00:20:44Couple of things, yeah.

00:20:45Yeah. You died in Waking The Dead.

00:20:48Yeah.

00:20:50What is that?

00:20:52Don't do that.

00:20:55What did you die of there?

00:20:57I think I drowned.

00:20:58No, this is before... I got kidnapped in this scene.

00:21:01Oh, shit, I've just seen the gloves.

00:21:02I thought that was your hair, man.

00:21:06Wait a second.

00:21:07Are those gloves?

00:21:09Yeah.

00:21:10Oh, I didn't know that till you said it.

00:21:13OK, next it's over to daytime telly legends,

00:21:16Alison and Dermot.

00:21:17Hey, Jimmy. Hey, Jimmy, how's it going?

00:21:19Here's our question.

00:21:20Back in the day, we were both huge fans

00:21:22of 80s TV phenomenon Dynasty.

00:21:24Yeah, especially the unbelievable drama

00:21:26brought by Dame Joan Collins' character, Alexis.

00:21:30But can your teams tell us what Dame Joan was referring to

00:21:33when she said,

00:21:35the first time we did it, the ratings went through the roof,

00:21:38so from then on, we had to do it every season.

00:21:41I know what it is.

00:21:42Me too.

00:21:43Ooh, you filthy cow.

00:21:45She definitely doesn't know what it is.

00:21:47She couldn't even say her name right.

00:21:49So they want to know what Dynasty star Dame Joan Collins

00:21:53was talking about when she said,

00:21:55the first time we did it, the ratings went through the roof,

00:21:57so from then on, we had to do it every season.

00:21:59Ow. Ow.

00:22:02All right, you ready for answers? Of course you are.

00:22:04I asked you what accomplice Techwin Wittock allegedly did

00:22:07to signify incorrect answers whilst cheating on Millionaire.

00:22:10What did you get?

00:22:12That he shouted, no!

00:22:16Judy, Daisy, how do you think...?

00:22:18Well, I think it was silence, no coughing,

00:22:21cos I just remember him...

00:22:23How would that be a signal?

00:22:25So you think he was coughing the whole time

00:22:27and then briefly stopped when an answer was incorrect?

00:22:31I don't know.

00:22:32No, I think it makes sense. I back you.

00:22:35No, he shouted no.

00:22:37No. No.

00:22:39Babatunde Russell.

00:22:41Sneezing.

00:22:42Yeah, that's what I meant, sneezing.

00:22:45I spelt it wrong.

00:22:47Yeah.

00:22:48I can tell you, he blew his nose.

00:22:50What? No!

00:22:51I mean, it's the same area of the body,

00:22:53but it's a different thing, isn't it?

00:22:55What happens when you sneeze, bro?

00:22:57Your nose get clear. Bang! Point.

00:22:59But no.

00:23:05All right, I played you three iconic TV villain evil laughs.

00:23:08The first one, which was...

00:23:12Who's that?

00:23:14I thought it was the kid who wore the red and white T-shirt

00:23:21with the dark hair.

00:23:23What's that kid?

00:23:25You know what kid I'm talking about?

00:23:27On the magazine!

00:23:28Dino! Dino!

00:23:30No! Dennis the Menace!

00:23:33Dino, Dino, Dennis the Menace.

00:23:35All right, did you get the first laugh?

00:23:37I only got the third one. It's Nelson from The Simpsons.

00:23:40Let's hear that.

00:23:42Did everyone get that?

00:23:44Yes.

00:23:45The second one was this.

00:23:48Who's that, Jamie?

00:23:50Well, Tash wrote this one and...

00:23:52Jimmy Carr?

00:23:56That's not Jimmy.

00:24:02Jimmy goes like this.

00:24:04Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

00:24:09He's not wrong.

00:24:11I do have a weird laugh, but it's not Skeletor from He-Man.

00:24:15Is that who it is?

00:24:17I know it.

00:24:19It's Villanelle from Killing Eve, Skeletor from He-Man

00:24:22and Nelson from The Simpsons.

00:24:24Did anyone get a point on that?

00:24:26Everyone got Nelson.

00:24:28I showed you three images from Midsomer Villages

00:24:31moments before their untimely deaths.

00:24:33How did you think they died?

00:24:35OK, so the first one there, what have you got?

00:24:37Karaoke.

00:24:39You think she died of karaoke? Yeah, yeah.

00:24:41What do you think, Natasha?

00:24:43We took it a bit further.

00:24:45Yeah, she died of disappointment on X Factor

00:24:48when she found out she was going to Louis' category on Judges' House.

00:24:54And we're going to Ireland!

00:24:56That, yeah. That, yeah.

00:24:58OK, Judy, Daisy?

00:25:00Cos of the hair. Electric shock.

00:25:02I'll definitely give you a point for that.

00:25:04The first one was electrocuted by their microphone.

00:25:12The second one, what do you think? What have you got?

00:25:14Yeah, we got Death on a dartboard.

00:25:16He's on a giant dartboard

00:25:19and someone is throwing a dart at him.

00:25:22Er, nope.

00:25:24We really don't know.

00:25:26We said the circle closed in around him and crushed him.

00:25:31What have you got?

00:25:32I think he met someone and got excited.

00:25:36We don't need his life story. How did he die?

00:25:38Yeah, well, this is the lead-up to it.

00:25:40He met someone, got excited.

00:25:42He said, let me tear you down, boo-boo.

00:25:44And then they tied him down and then they...

00:25:47Smashed him in the nuts with a mallet.

00:25:50No. No.

00:25:53I can tell you that he was killed by a flying wine bottle.

00:25:56Fired from a catapult.

00:25:58All right, third one, what have you got for this?

00:26:00She was eaten by a wellard, a dog.

00:26:04Yeah.

00:26:05From EastEnders.

00:26:07There's a bit of bad blood.

00:26:09Natasha, Jamie, did you get this?

00:26:11I went for old reliable cock in the mouth.

00:26:16Old faithful.

00:26:18Go on, what have you got?

00:26:20We thought she looked like she was getting strangled with a seatbelt.

00:26:23Ironically.

00:26:24But that does look a bit...

00:26:26I'll keep on quiet to myself.

00:26:28Like what?

00:26:29Oh, yeah, you're having a good time and...

00:26:35And he didn't...

00:26:36Pineapples! Didn't get...

00:26:40No, she was killed by a wheel of cheese, have a look.

00:26:43Oh!

00:26:56Oh!

00:27:04No!

00:27:08No!

00:27:12All right, Alison Dermot asked you what dynasty villain Dame Joan Collins

00:27:17was referring to when she said,

00:27:19the first time we did it, the ratings went through the roof,

00:27:21so from then on we had to do it every season.

00:27:23What do you think they had to do every season?

00:27:25Murder.

00:27:28Kill someone.

00:27:31Yeah, I know what a murder is.

00:27:33Yeah.

00:27:34Wet them up.

00:27:35Wet them up, yeah.

00:27:36Send them home.

00:27:38OK.

00:27:40Teach them table tennis in the dark.

00:27:48Russell, I'm starting to fancy you a little bit.

00:27:56No, it's not murder. Natasha, Jamie?

00:27:59They learned their lines.

00:28:03Every series.

00:28:04Every series. It works, it works.

00:28:07OK, Judy, Daisy?

00:28:09We put shoot JR, but...

00:28:12Or is that Dallas?

00:28:14Turn up, turn up.

00:28:15It's a different show.

00:28:18Although what a twist that would be.

00:28:21I had to have a cat fight every season cos people liked it.

00:28:24Yeah.

00:28:25Let's take a look at the OTT moment

00:28:27when the feisty characters go at each other.

00:28:29So, have you quite finished?

00:28:31I haven't.

00:28:50Yeah, that was it.

00:28:52That was entertainment back in the day.

00:28:54It's better now, isn't it?

00:28:57OK, now it's time for a special bonus round.

00:28:59This is the part of the show where I introduce some mystery guests.

00:29:02All you need to do is tell me who they are

00:29:04and which TV shows they star in.

00:29:06However, you can only ask them yes or no questions,

00:29:09so please welcome our mystery guests.

00:29:11Just yes or no questions.

00:29:15Look at this.

00:29:18They're not from the same show, but they all do the same job.

00:29:21So you need three answers here.

00:29:23We've just got to guess who they are from any TV show that was on...

00:29:26But you can ask them questions.

00:29:29I'm so sorry for wasting your time.

00:29:33Extenders?

00:29:34You can't ask the show!

00:29:37What's your name, Extenders?

00:29:38No.

00:29:39Extenders?

00:29:40No.

00:29:42Oh, all three of you, no.

00:29:44Well, I mean, this could take a while.

00:29:48Did you act in the show or were you being yourselves?

00:29:50Your true selves?

00:29:51No, that's a yes or no.

00:29:52It's a yes or no question.

00:29:54You don't know the answer I want.

00:29:57They're absolutely iconic.

00:29:59They're incredibly famous.

00:30:01Everyone in the audience will know who they are.

00:30:04Oh, no, are you Teletubbies?

00:30:09No.

00:30:10I so want to say yes, but no.

00:30:12That's the same show, isn't it? They're on different shows.

00:30:15Are you professional singers?

00:30:17No.

00:30:18No.

00:30:19There's something, cos that one in the middle was like...

00:30:23Yeah.

00:30:24Are you voiceover artists?

00:30:26Yes.

00:30:27Yes.

00:30:29OK, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:30:30Right, OK.

00:30:31OK, all right, everyone.

00:30:33You've got three shows to write down, that's it.

00:30:35You've just got to write them down now. What three shows?

00:30:37Can you all talk quickly?

00:30:39You all say yes and no, that's all you can say.

00:30:41Yes and no.

00:30:43Got you, bro.

00:30:44Yes and no.

00:30:45Oh!

00:30:46Yes, I told you!

00:30:48You're intimidating, bro.

00:30:50Guys, guys, touch of class for you.

00:30:52Yes and no.

00:30:54Oh!

00:30:56What's that?

00:30:58Tell me what that was.

00:31:03Russell, get back there! No, Russell!

00:31:06Russell!

00:31:12OK, time for some answers.

00:31:14Russell, what have you got? What are the three shows?

00:31:17The first guy is from Football Focus, we think,

00:31:19and he reads out the football results.

00:31:22OK, and then...?

00:31:23Big Brother.

00:31:24And then three, India Fisher.

00:31:27From...?

00:31:28That man said India Fisher.

00:31:33OK, Jamie and Sasha?

00:31:35We struggled with number one, we went with Four In A Bed,

00:31:38Big Brother and MasterChef?

00:31:40Judy, Daisy, what are your three struggles?

00:31:42We put MasterChef, Big Brother, Football...

00:31:46Except...

00:31:48You know, like the...

00:31:50OK, well, let's go...

00:31:52Well, please, tell us who you are in your iconic voices.

00:31:56My name is John Briggs and I am the voice of the weakest link.

00:31:59Oh!

00:32:03Yeah.

00:32:04And if you'd like an example,

00:32:06Jimmy was the weakest link because he banked the most money

00:32:09for the team.

00:32:10HMRC were the strongest link because they found out.

00:32:16That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

00:32:21OK, and let's hear who you are in your iconic voice, please.

00:32:24It's dear whatever it is in the big, fat quiz of Telly House

00:32:28and I'm Marcus Bentley, the narrator of Big Brother.

00:32:36What the hell of a voice?

00:32:38India?

00:32:39And I'm India Fisher.

00:32:43Wow.

00:32:45And I describe parfaits, foams and veloutés on MasterChef.

00:32:55This is such a special moment for me,

00:32:57cos just in case you didn't know,

00:32:59I won one of the celebrity MasterChefs at Christmas.

00:33:02What was your secret recipe? What did you microwave in there?

00:33:06I made a Jamaican-British fusion Christmas dinner

00:33:11with celeriac and all kind of shit.

00:33:14Is that how you describe it? Exactly how I described it, yeah.

00:33:18Could you just say in your voice,

00:33:20a celeriac and all types of shit?

00:33:22She made celeriac and all types of shit.

00:33:29It sounds pretty good when you say it.

00:33:31Let's check in on the scores.

00:33:33OK, so Russell and Babatunde have six points.

00:33:35Jamie and Natasha have six points.

00:33:37In the lead, Judy and Daisy with ten.

00:33:40All right, well, thanks so much to India, Marcus and Jon.

00:33:43India, if you wouldn't mind, take us to the break.

00:33:45Join us after the break when Jimmy will be serving up

00:33:48his infamous inland revenue buffet.

00:33:51A selection of elaborate pork pies, a jammy dodger,

00:33:55but then a huge crumble and a slice of humble pie.

00:33:58See you in five.

00:34:10Welcome back to the Big Fat Quiz of Telly.

00:34:12We're asking the trickiest TV questions since Mum said,

00:34:15what do the coloured buttons on the remote actually do?

00:34:19This round is all about drama.

00:34:21In 2010, EastEnders celebrated 25 years on our screens

00:34:24with a special live episode and it nearly ended in disaster

00:34:28when five minutes in, a crew member tumbled down some stairs

00:34:31whilst carrying a big drum and everyone thought the show was over.

00:34:35One of the biggest stars of the 80s and 90s was David Hasselhoff.

00:34:38Well, people think Hasselhoff was a big star, not really.

00:34:41In Knight Rider, he was literally the sidekick of a sat-nav.

00:34:46Are you ready for more questions? Yes.

00:34:48It's all about dramas. OK.

00:34:50Game of Thrones took the world by storm

00:34:52when it burst onto our screens in 2011.

00:34:54Pedro Pascal's character, Oberyn Martell, became a fan favourite,

00:34:58but Pedro recently claimed he had to ask fans to stop doing what

00:35:02when taking selfies after he got an eye infection?

00:35:07My God, he's handsome, isn't he?

00:35:09That would be a lovely dressing gown and all.

00:35:13I could see you in that, summer's morning, in your mansion.

00:35:17Dressing gown or Pedro?

00:35:22Fine with either. Fine with either.

00:35:26All right, so what were fans doing that gave him an eye infection?

00:35:29Take a look at these images of a much-talked-about episode

00:35:32from the final series of smash hit drama Downton Abbey.

00:35:35All I want to know is, what happened?

00:35:41We've got an absolute cracker.

00:35:46OK, I mean, that's going to be filthy.

00:35:49That's all we know for sure.

00:35:51Next up, we've got a question from TV legend of Albert Square,

00:35:55Natalie Cassidy.

00:35:56Hi, Jimmy.

00:35:57When I'm on set at EastEnders, I love a route round the props cupboard.

00:36:02But one item I've never got my hands on

00:36:04is a piece of vintage BBC memorabilia

00:36:07which went on display in America in 2016.

00:36:10Whilst there, it needed a daily wipe-down

00:36:13to protect it from amorous fans.

00:36:16But what was it?

00:36:17An item of costume from 1995.

00:36:20It needed a wipe-down daily

00:36:22when amorous fans saw it in America in 2016.

00:36:25Lastly for this round,

00:36:26Breaking Bad is one of the most acclaimed TV series of all time,

00:36:29but fans of the show called such a nuisance

00:36:31for the real owners of the White family home,

00:36:33they had to build a six-foot fence around the house.

00:36:36Why?

00:36:41Sometimes it's nice to write down an answer, you know?

00:36:44It's just a weird place for a hedge, Jim.

00:36:50You put a hedge around your house, you don't put it there.

00:36:56Alan Titchmarsh would lose his mind if he saw that.

00:37:00Right, time for some answers.

00:37:02First up, I asked you what Game Of Thrones star Pedro Pascal

00:37:05asked fans to stop doing after taking selfies with him

00:37:08when he got an eye infection.

00:37:09Now, Natasha, Jamie, you've seen Game Of Thrones,

00:37:12you'll know, what was it?

00:37:14Scratching their bum holes.

00:37:18As they gave him pinkeye.

00:37:20Because they'd been scratching their bum holes.

00:37:22Because they'd been touching his eye.

00:37:25I think I could probably give you a point for that.

00:37:30No, no, no.

00:37:32I think I can.

00:37:34No, no, no, no, no.

00:37:36That's the correct answer.

00:37:38Jamie! It is the correct answer.

00:37:40It's half the correct answer.

00:37:42Well, what have you got as the answer?

00:37:44He had to stop that because he got an infection in his eye

00:37:47because of how he died in the show,

00:37:49what they were touching him for to remind him,

00:37:51hey, it's like he died in the show.

00:37:53I'm sorry, and why did he get an infection?

00:37:55Because they had very clean fingers, did they?

00:37:57No, they'd been touching their bum holes.

00:38:01Adi, you get a point too.

00:38:04You get a point, you get a point. What did you put?

00:38:06Sorry, fingers in the eyes.

00:38:08Fingers in the eyes. Let's take a look at the...

00:38:10It's surprisingly realistic looking, that's...

00:38:13Yeah, that's not good. And that's, if you're interested,

00:38:15that's Papa Dundee's hair.

00:38:19He was happy initially with fans having a selfie

00:38:21with their thumbs in his eyes,

00:38:23and then he got an eye infection and he went,

00:38:25oh, this has clearly been in someone's bum bum, I'd better stop.

00:38:29OK, I asked you what caused these reactions,

00:38:32I'd call it overacting, from the final Downton Abbey series.

00:38:35Daisy, what have you gone for?

00:38:37Oh, we just put death.

00:38:40No, there was no death, but there was a medical emergency.

00:38:43Jamie, Natasha, what have you got?

00:38:45Could it be that they were watching Pedro Pascal's fans

00:38:48touch their bum holes and touch his eyes?

00:38:52Oh, hang on, yeah, oh, here we go.

00:38:54Everyone, Baba Dundee and Russell.

00:38:56They saw a black man.

00:39:10Let's have a look.

00:39:11Your enthusiasm is getting the better of your manners.

00:39:13Can't we stop this beastly row?

00:39:15How I wish we could.

00:39:16Because I...

00:39:19I'm so sorry, I...

00:39:27Thomas, on his left side.

00:39:28Give me the napkins.

00:39:30I'll call the ambulance.

00:39:31Keep him warm. Take my coat.

00:39:33What is it? His ulcer has burst.

00:39:35Will he be all right?

00:39:36We must get him to hospital as quickly as we can.

00:39:38Judy, what did you put in that turkey?

00:39:41LAUGHTER

00:39:44It was Lord Grantham's stomach ulcer

00:39:46bursting at the dinner table.

00:39:48OK, Natalie Cassidy asked you what iconic BBC piece of memorabilia

00:39:52needed a daily wipe-down to protect it from amorous fans

00:39:55when it went on display in America in 2016.

00:39:57What did you put?

00:39:59It was a Tamagotchi.

00:40:04Or...

00:40:05Well, say it with me, our answer was Pedro Pascal's bum hole.

00:40:11Judy, Daisy, what?

00:40:13So, we thought of all the things that were around in 1995.

00:40:17Because you didn't say...

00:40:18Did you say one thing or you said a number?

00:40:20What did you write?

00:40:21We just wrote, Mr Blobby, darling, take that.

00:40:27Tell me one of those, at least a quote.

00:40:29You're very close.

00:40:30It was the shirt Mr Darcy wore in Pride And Prejudice.

00:40:33It's so funny, innit, that that was sexy in 95.

00:40:37It just looks like a fat lad in a dress.

00:40:40Do you know what I mean? The game's changed.

00:40:43All right, finally, I wanted to know what Breaking Bad fans

00:40:46were doing to the house the show was filmed in

00:40:48that prompted the owners to have to build a six-foot wall.

00:40:51What did you all think?

00:40:52Babatunde Russell?

00:40:53We just put shit hedge.

00:40:56It's not exactly the right answer, but, yeah, very good point.

00:40:59Judy, Daisy?

00:41:00We said taking naked pictures in front of the house.

00:41:04Natasha, Jamie?

00:41:05They were trying to throw a pizza on the roof.

00:41:07That's absolutely the right answer.

00:41:11Fans were throwing pizza on the roof to replicate the iconic scene.

00:41:15There's a delicious pizza looking slightly worse for wear.

00:41:18OK, time now for a special bonus round.

00:41:20Esteemed actor Charles Dance is going to re-enact iconic moments

00:41:24from reality TV shows.

00:41:26All you need to do is tell me what shows they came from.

00:41:29Here's the first one. Enjoy.

00:41:32Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Jane.

00:41:36You ruined my night completely so you could have the money.

00:41:40But I hope now you've spent it on getting some lessons

00:41:43in grace and decorum, because you have all the grace

00:41:47of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on.

00:41:57Have you written down what show you think that was from?

00:41:59Yes. OK, let's have a look.

00:42:00So, you think it was from Russell?

00:42:02Towie, I guess.

00:42:04Towie. You've gone, Jamie and Natasha?

00:42:06Come Dine With Me.

00:42:08Judy, Daisy?

00:42:10Come Dine With Me.

00:42:11It was, of course, Peter Marsh ranting at his competitor, Jane,

00:42:14in Come Dine With Me.

00:42:16Wow!

00:42:17APPLAUSE

00:42:20OK, that's the first one. Here's the second one.

00:42:22What TV show is this from?

00:42:24I just feel like the birds are looking a little bit more tasty in here.

00:42:30That's the thing.

00:42:31Like, obviously, I fucking love hummus,

00:42:34but at the moment, what's been going on

00:42:37is we've been getting the hummus with the olive in it.

00:42:41I just don't like the taste of it.

00:42:43What I'm thinking is breadstick, celery, carrot.

00:42:48Change it up. See how you feel.

00:42:52APPLAUSE

00:42:57It's an iconic moment of reality TV.

00:43:00Did you get it?

00:43:02It's Love Island, I think.

00:43:04OK.

00:43:06Hang on, I believe Natasha and Jamie are just writing down Love Island.

00:43:10That's a cheat.

00:43:11Because Russell said Love Island, we went with Love Island.

00:43:15OK, Judy?

00:43:16Love Island.

00:43:17So, Love Island, Love Island, Love Island.

00:43:19The right answer.

00:43:21APPLAUSE

00:43:25That was Kim in Love Island,

00:43:27talking about dipping his carrot in hummus.

00:43:30Final one of these.

00:43:32My hair.

00:43:34This is very expensive hair.

00:43:37It's fucking frazzled.

00:43:40Because you've only got straighteners in here,

00:43:42you haven't got heated rollers.

00:43:45For the pay, you can pay for me to have a new set of extensions.

00:43:49The fucking hair is frazzled.

00:43:52It's a fucking piss take.

00:43:54You're all taking the piss out of me.

00:43:57Why didn't you think of putting heated rollers in here?

00:44:00Straighteners are what fucking weirdos use on their hair.

00:44:04That's what you think of me.

00:44:09Brilliant.

00:44:11Brilliant.

00:44:12What was the show?

00:44:14Still writing down answers?

00:44:15No, no, no. Big Brother.

00:44:17Celebrity Big Brother.

00:44:18Celebrity Big Brother?

00:44:19We actually put the person.

00:44:20Yeah, the person.

00:44:21Gemma Collins.

00:44:22That was unnecessary.

00:44:23Yeah, we said that.

00:44:24We said it to ourselves.

00:44:26Nice. Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother.

00:44:28Points, points, points.

00:44:29Yeah, good lad.

00:44:31APPLAUSE

00:44:33All right, let's see what that's done to the scores.

00:44:35I can tell you that we're currently in last place.

00:44:38Babatunde and Russell with nine.

00:44:40Jamie and Natasha with 11.

00:44:42Judy and Daisy with 14 in the lead.

00:44:48Well, that's it for this part.

00:44:49Will you be 100% faithful and join us after the break?

00:44:52Or a disgusting traitor and turn over?

00:44:54We'll see in five.

00:45:05Welcome back to the Big Fat Quiz of Telly.

00:45:07It's like University Challenge but with less of the university

00:45:10and much more of a focus on the challenged.

00:45:13The next round is all about kids' TV.

00:45:15The Teletubbies launched in 1997.

00:45:17My favourite Teletubby is Eamon Holmes.

00:45:20He's on the telly and he's tubby.

00:45:23In 1969, there was chaos on Blue Peter

00:45:26when a special guest, Lulu the elephant, pooped in the studio.

00:45:29I don't know what the BBC did with that shit.

00:45:31Probably brushed it under the carpet

00:45:33like they did with everything back then.

00:45:35Comedy duo The Crankies were all over our screens in the 1980s.

00:45:38If you're not familiar with The Crankies,

00:45:40we Jimmy Cranky was actually a woman just pretending to be a man.

00:45:43And that's the only time I'm going to be allowed to say that sentence

00:45:46without getting cancelled.

00:45:48Right, time for some more questions, all about kids' TV.

00:45:51First up, we've got a question from everyone's favourite magician bear.

00:45:54It's Sooty and Sweep.

00:45:55Hello, Jimmy! Hello!

00:45:57It's Richard, Sooty, Sweep and Sue here.

00:45:59Can you believe the Sooty show has been on television for over 60 years?

00:46:03And as you know, we love getting into mischief.

00:46:06We certainly do. What's that, Sooty?

00:46:08Sooty says he wants to know if your teams can tell him

00:46:11what the BBC tried to ban in 1965

00:46:15because they thought it made the show too...

00:46:17I can't say that! Too rude!

00:46:19Too rude. Thank you, Sue.

00:46:21Well, let's just say they thought it made the show a little risque.

00:46:24But what was it that caused the controversy?

00:46:28So, Sooty and Sweep and Sue want to know

00:46:30what the BBC tried to ban from the show in 1965

00:46:33for fear of it being too rude.

00:46:35Next up, episodes of which kids' TV show prompted these tweets?

00:46:40Why am I, a 33-year-old woman, watching this?

00:46:43BBC is once again doing God's work.

00:46:46And watch this and now I'm pregnant.

00:46:48Oh, I bet you I know what this is. I know what this is.

00:46:51I felt a disturbance in the force.

00:46:53What is this show about?

00:46:55TV.

00:46:57This is about TV?

00:46:58The whole thing's about TV.

00:47:00Oh!

00:47:01I thought it was a more general question.

00:47:05Oh, well, next up, we've got a question from the one and only Mr Blobby.

00:47:08Blob, blob, blob, blob, blob, blob, blob.

00:47:12Right.

00:47:14Hi, Jimmy!

00:47:16Blobby, blob. Blob, blobby, blob.

00:47:18Blob, blob.

00:47:20Blobby, blob.

00:47:22Blob, blobby, blob.

00:47:24Blob, blob, blob.

00:47:26Blob, blobby. Blobby.

00:47:29Hi!

00:47:31Oh!

00:47:33Blob, blob, blob.

00:47:35Oh, blobby.

00:47:37Oh, blobby.

00:47:39Oh, blobby.

00:47:41Oh, blobby.

00:47:43Oh, blobby.

00:47:45Oh.

00:47:47Oh.

00:47:51All right, I'll translate.

00:47:53Mr Blobby wants to know who Patrick Clifton,

00:47:55Samuel Peyton-Jones

00:47:57and Sir Topham Hatt are better known as.

00:47:59Oh!

00:48:02So, who is Patrick Clifton, Samuel Peyton-Jones

00:48:04and Sir Topham Hatt?

00:48:06Who are they better known as?

00:48:08It's there, isn't it? I'm sensing it.

00:48:10Somebody get me Derek Accord.

00:48:12OK, finally, under your desk,

00:48:14you've got a picture of TV icons, the Teletubbies.

00:48:17They've been on our screen since 1997.

00:48:19All I want you to do is draw the accessories

00:48:21each of the Teletubbies carries with them.

00:48:23Oh.

00:48:25So they've each got a different accessory.

00:48:27I just want you to draw the accessories the Teletubbies carry with them.

00:48:30I know what it was. I know what it was.

00:48:32It was one of those things.

00:48:34What's that? I don't know.

00:48:36That looks like an omelette.

00:48:38Yes, girl!

00:48:40Yes! Yes, girl!

00:48:42Couldn't be easier. They've got one accessory each.

00:48:44They've been on our screen since 1997.

00:48:47All right, OK, you ready for answers?

00:48:49Yeah. Yes. You seem very confident.

00:48:51Yeah, OK, all right, so.

00:48:53Siddy, Sweep and Sue wanted to know

00:48:55what the BBC tried to ban from their show in 1965

00:48:57for being too rude. Natasha?

00:49:00They had a character called the Dead Grey Boy.

00:49:06Very controversial.

00:49:08Siddy, Sweep, Sue and the Dead Grey Boy.

00:49:10Very, very controversial time.

00:49:12And what was the character of the Dead Grey Boy?

00:49:14Well, he was originally just called, like, Mitch

00:49:16and then he died on the show,

00:49:18but then the public were like,

00:49:20are you kidding? Mitch?

00:49:22And then they went, well, bring him back,

00:49:24we can't call him Mitch any more.

00:49:26Dead Grey Boy.

00:49:29No, what, um...

00:49:31Russell, Babatunde?

00:49:33We had a black man.

00:49:35Or Mary the Chatty Vagina.

00:49:40It's not what's on the card.

00:49:42Judy, Daisy?

00:49:44Sooty having a girlfriend?

00:49:46That's the right answer, yeah.

00:49:48Well done!

00:49:50It was, um... Yes!

00:49:52It was Sue herself, yeah.

00:49:54They didn't want Sooty to have a girlfriend

00:49:57but they thought the name Sooty was all right.

00:50:02I mean...

00:50:04OK.

00:50:06I asked you what kids' TV show made viewers tweet,

00:50:09Why am I, a 33-year-old woman, watching this?

00:50:11BBC once again doing God's work

00:50:13and watch this show and now I am pregnant.

00:50:15What have you got?

00:50:17Tom Hardy was reading CBeebies stories.

00:50:19Oh!

00:50:21Women all over the nation lost it.

00:50:23Natasha, Jamie?

00:50:25Fleabag.

00:50:29I thought maybe the 33-year-old woman was being ironic or something.

00:50:32I don't know.

00:50:34It's the kids' TV round.

00:50:36Could the answer be Fleabag?

00:50:38And what did you put for this one?

00:50:40We put... I don't know if anybody's watched Crazy Town

00:50:43but Sportacus in that is...

00:50:47See? See what you think!

00:50:51It was CBeebies bedtime stories.

00:50:53Tom Hardy, Harry Styles and Regé-Jean Page.

00:50:56Wow, very nice.

00:50:58Mr Blobby asked you who Patrick Clifton, Samuel Payton, Jones

00:51:01and Sir Topham Hatt are better known as.

00:51:03Now, Jamie, Natasha?

00:51:05The shoe people.

00:51:08That's my go-to for anything I don't know in life.

00:51:12Excellent. Judy, Daisy?

00:51:14Er, we... Fat Controller.

00:51:17Postman Pat, but we put Screech and Saved By The Bell.

00:51:22OK, so you've got two out of three.

00:51:24Bobatunde, Russell?

00:51:25We got them all right, five minutes on,

00:51:27man like Postman Pat and the Fat Controller.

00:51:30Wow. Wow.

00:51:35That's the right answer, yeah. OK.

00:51:37We now come to our art round,

00:51:39pictures of the Teletubbies accessories.

00:51:42Talk me through this. Daisy?

00:51:44We've got Poe with a scooter.

00:51:47Tinky Winky with the bag.

00:51:49Dipsy with the hat.

00:51:51And then we did draw a cock for Lala.

00:51:54And then we changed it to one of those.

00:51:57One of those blowing fans.

00:51:59You got, I can tell you, you got three out of four right there.

00:52:02What? Natasha, Jamie?

00:52:04Well, surprise, I didn't watch Teletubbies,

00:52:07but I knew it was sort of about positivity,

00:52:11so I've got that Tinky Winky held a banner that said,

00:52:14Come on!

00:52:16And the green one said, Let's do this!

00:52:19And then I took the other two,

00:52:21and the yellow one has a gun and bullets.

00:52:25That's a gun and bullets, is it?

00:52:28That's a gun and there's the bullets, that's for protection,

00:52:30and unfortunately his head keeps coming,

00:52:32so he's got a box of tissues.

00:52:35APPLAUSE

00:52:40Russell.

00:52:42So the purple lad's got, like, a whip,

00:52:45and he's got a Tesco club card.

00:52:48And this lad's balancing a potato on his head,

00:52:52and he's got a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

00:52:56Yeah, so Lala, got a gun, got a gun, yeah.

00:52:59So we definitely got that one right.

00:53:02He has a microwave, you know what I'm saying?

00:53:04All right, so Poe had a scooter, Lala had an orange ball,

00:53:08Dixie had a black-and-white top hat,

00:53:10Tinky Winky carries a red bag.

00:53:12So, I mean, three out of four.

00:53:14Well done, Daisy.

00:53:18OK, let's see what that's done to the scores.

00:53:20PHONE RINGS

00:53:29Hello?

00:53:32It's the banker from Deal Or No Deal.

00:53:36For you. Exactly!

00:53:46The banker's offer is simple, OK?

00:53:48He sent six boxes to the studio.

00:53:50Under your desk you've got boxes, grab them.

00:53:52Some contain extra points, some of them contain penalties.

00:53:56You each get to pick one box as a team.

00:53:58Whoever's got the most points gets to pick first.

00:54:02You've all got to pick a box.

00:54:04OK, so...

00:54:06Judy, Daisy, you're in the lead, pick a box.

00:54:08Which box do you want to open?

00:54:10Er, number... Let's get number one out of the way.

00:54:13OK, so this is what Daisy and Judy have won from the banker.

00:54:19Double your points from the previous round.

00:54:22OK, so...

00:54:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

00:54:26That's a huge win.

00:54:28Russell, Babatunde, you get to pick a box.

00:54:30Which box would you like to pick?

00:54:32Er...

00:54:34We're going to go with number three.

00:54:36I would have gone with number one if I were you, but, yeah.

00:54:39OK, yeah, sure.

00:54:41I love the idea of doing this.

00:54:43OK.

00:54:45Swap your points with the lowest-scoring team.

00:54:48Jamie and Natasha, you now have 13 points.

00:54:50Russell and Babatunde, you now have 11 points.

00:54:57Oh!

00:54:59PHONE RINGS

00:55:03Hi, who's this?

00:55:05What do you mean you've got a very particular set of skills?

00:55:08I haven't got your daughter.

00:55:10No, this is 5395.

00:55:14Well, good luck, yeah. Fine, it happens.

00:55:20OK.

00:55:22Jamie, Natasha, you get to pick a box.

00:55:25What do you want? Number one. Number one?

00:55:27Can I do number one again? No, you can't do number one again, no.

00:55:30Erm, five?

00:55:32Five.

00:55:34Swap your points with the highest-scoring team.

00:55:44Oh!

00:55:48Wow.

00:55:51Let's have a look and see what that's done to the scores,

00:55:53I can tell you.

00:55:56In last place, Russell and Babatunde with 11,

00:55:59Judy and Daisy have 13,

00:56:01Jamie and Natasha are in the lead with 26 points.

00:56:04Yes!

00:56:06Oh, my God!

00:56:08Time for a quick break.

00:56:10I've got to knit backstage and sort something out

00:56:12because I do, in fact, have Liam Neeson's daughter.

00:56:14See you in a bit.

00:56:16APPLAUSE

00:56:25Welcome back to the show where I ask questions

00:56:27about memorable moments caught on camera.

00:56:29It's like a fun version of Crimewatch.

00:56:32This next round is all about music on TV.

00:56:34Pop Idol's first series was won by Will Young

00:56:37and made Simon Cowell a massive TV face.

00:56:39Well, that and all the plastic surgery.

00:56:42I mean...

00:56:47Between 2005 and 2014,

00:56:49X Factor acts had seven Christmas number ones.

00:56:52I remember thinking, this needs to stop.

00:56:54And then Lad Baby came along and suddenly I miss it.

00:56:59Bob the Builder had a number one single with Can We Fix It?

00:57:01Bob the Builder was helped by his cheery friends

00:57:03Lofty, Scoop and Rolly.

00:57:05Less was seen of Porta Louis,

00:57:07who Bob would sit on for hours on end

00:57:09doing the Daily Star crossword

00:57:11and shitting out his full English.

00:57:13MTV launched in 1981 and broadcast The Real World,

00:57:17which spawned a whole genre of reality TV.

00:57:20Without The Real World, we never would have seen

00:57:23George Galloway pretend to be a cat,

00:57:25Kinga frig herself with a wine bottle

00:57:27or Matt Hancock eat an anus.

00:57:30That, my friends, is called a legacy.

00:57:33Right, some questions about music on TV.

00:57:35Here's the first one, right.

00:57:36I'm still pissed off.

00:57:37Sue, you're still...?

00:57:40What are you pissed off about?

00:57:42I mean, we worked hard, yeah,

00:57:44cos he was like, collect the points, bitches,

00:57:46and these bitches collected the points, right?

00:57:49And then these two came along, not even writing down an answer,

00:57:52then they doubled up and took her.

00:57:54I mean, what a rascal.

00:57:55And then, in the break, I accidentally walked in on her on the look.

00:57:57She did walk in on you!

00:58:03Guys, all right.

00:58:05All right.

00:58:06First question on music on TV.

00:58:08Taylor Swift blew the minds of her fans back in 2015

00:58:11when she duetted with a well-known TV star on stage.

00:58:14They performed one of TV's most iconic songs,

00:58:16made famous by the TV star themselves,

00:58:19What Was The Song?

00:58:21Jimmy, give me the dance that would go with the song.

00:58:27Ah, yes!

00:58:30Yes.

00:58:31I think Russell's left the gas on.

00:58:33Panic.

00:58:35All right, I'm going to play you three TV theme tunes,

00:58:37however they're going to be played backwards.

00:58:39All you need to know is, what TV shows are they from?

00:58:42OK, here's the first one.

00:58:54OK, the next one.

00:58:56Yeah, I think you're right.

00:59:03Yep, yep, yep, yep.

00:59:05And the final one.

00:59:10Oh, oh, oh.

00:59:16That was scary as shit.

00:59:20Yeah, it was scary, wasn't it?

00:59:21Yeah, man.

00:59:23Next up, we've got a question from RuPaul's Drag Race winner,

00:59:26The Vivienne.

00:59:28Hello, Jimmy.

00:59:29Now, I beat off all the competition to snatch the crown

00:59:32in the first ever series of RuPaul's Drag Race UK.

00:59:35However, Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle wasn't so lucky

00:59:38when she was booted off Popstars Island back in 2001.

00:59:41Now, I love the drama of it all,

00:59:43but can your teams tell me why she was kicked off the show?

00:59:48Why was Nadine Coyle kicked off Popstars Island?

00:59:52All right, take a listen to this track by Sir Tom Jones.

01:00:01It's not unusual to be loved by anyone

01:00:06It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

01:00:10Tom Jones.

01:00:14A much-loved 90s TV character created an iconic dance move

01:00:18to that song.

01:00:20All I want to know is, what was the dance move?

01:00:22Do you want to help us out?

01:00:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you want, what do you want?

01:00:26Jamie, Natasha, you've already got all of their points,

01:00:28stop messing with them.

01:00:30Don't rub salt into the wound.

01:00:32Do you need the answers for any of the other ones?

01:00:35What the fuck is going on here?

01:00:37I'm talking to Judy.

01:00:41You've put us in a position where we've ruined them.

01:00:46We didn't ask for that.

01:00:48No.

01:00:49So, do you want to give me a right answer?

01:00:51I wish I knew the answer.

01:00:53That's the whole thing, that's the thing,

01:00:55you don't know jack shit.

01:01:00OK, all right, answers.

01:01:02What song Taylor Swift performed when she duetted on stage

01:01:05with one of TV's biggest stars?

01:01:07What did you all put?

01:01:08I think it was Smelly Cat with Phoebe from Friends.

01:01:11OK, and what did you put, Jamie and Natasha?

01:01:13We put Smelly Cat by Phoebe from Friends.

01:01:16OK, and what did you go for, Daisy, Judy?

01:01:18The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

01:01:22What was that, then, what was that clue where I was...?

01:01:24In West Philadelphia, born and raised in the playground,

01:01:27where's the...?

01:01:29Yes, Taylor Swift sang Smelly Cat with Lisa Kudrow,

01:01:32a.k.a. Phoebe from Friends.

01:01:34Well, let's take a look from the excited point of view

01:01:36of a Taylor Swift fan losing their mind.

01:01:41Smelly cat, smelly cat

01:01:44What are you?

01:01:48Smelly cat, smelly cat

01:01:51It's not your fault

01:01:59I played you three iconic TV tunes,

01:02:01but backwards, in order to summon the devil.

01:02:04Did you know what they were? Here's the first one.

01:02:09Did we all get that?

01:02:10Flintstones, it's the Flintstones

01:02:12Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, yeah

01:02:15Let's have a listen.

01:02:19Yes! Yes!

01:02:21You got the first one? Yes.

01:02:23Judy, did you get it? Yes, we got it.

01:02:25OK, here's the second one.

01:02:30Papatunde? Coronation Street.

01:02:33Let's have a listen.

01:02:35Come on! Yes! Come on!

01:02:39OK, so, points, points.

01:02:41I don't know, did you write Corrie?

01:02:43Yes, we did write Coronation Street.

01:02:45OK.

01:02:48It is there on number three, and then you've got arrows.

01:02:51Sure, sure, sure, sure.

01:02:54The third one, sound like this.

01:03:00That is scary.

01:03:02Did you get what this was, Natasha, Jamie?

01:03:04We put The Twilight Zone?

01:03:06Yeah, it was scary, but no.

01:03:08Judy, Desi? We put EastEnders.

01:03:12OK, Papatunde, did you get this?

01:03:14No, we got Stranger Things. Oh.

01:03:16Oh!

01:03:17Ah, I think you're all going to kick yourselves.

01:03:19Let's have a listen.

01:03:21Oh!

01:03:22Looper? Is that Looper?

01:03:24No, it's Succession.

01:03:27The Vivienne asked why Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle

01:03:29was booted from Popstars Ireland.

01:03:31What did you put?

01:03:33Cooking meth.

01:03:35Jamie and Natasha, what did you put?

01:03:37She lied about her age. Yes.

01:03:39Oh, she did, yeah.

01:03:40Well, you should have written that, then, shouldn't you?

01:03:43Desi, did you get this? Yes, we did.

01:03:45Lied about age, but on the sort of sideways.

01:03:48Well, let's take a look at the Acting Masterclass.

01:03:51That is Nadine Coyle lying about her age.

01:03:54Nadine Coyle, I'm from Lurcal and Derry.

01:03:57Um, date of birth's 15th of the 6th, 85.

01:04:01I'm from Germany.

01:04:03And, um...

01:04:04What's the date of birth that I say now?

01:04:06We asked you yesterday your date of birth.

01:04:09I gave you the wrong date of birth.

01:04:11Are you sure? Aye.

01:04:13Definitely. What is it?

01:04:1515th of the 6th, 87 or something, I thought.

01:04:18No, you said 85.

01:04:20Which means that you wouldn't be 18.

01:04:23I would be 16. Yeah.

01:04:25No, I gave the wrong date of birth.

01:04:27What's your date of birth? 83.

01:04:29And that's what I says to them, as last night, I says,

01:04:31I think I gave her the wrong date of birth.

01:04:33I think I'll give her... Have you got your passport?

01:04:35Mm-hm. With you?

01:04:36No. Oh, I should have it with me.

01:04:42Nadine still seems confused about her date of birth.

01:04:47I played you Tom Jones, It's Not Unusual,

01:04:50and asked what iconic dance move from the world of TV

01:04:52accompanied that song.

01:04:54We saw that, wasn't it? Well, play the music.

01:04:56Let's do the full...

01:05:00Yeah!

01:05:05Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's the thing.

01:05:07She gets a point. She gets a point for that.

01:05:10Well, shall we treat ourselves to a look at the iconic

01:05:1290s hilarious dance? Yeah. It's pretty good.

01:05:14It still delivers. Have a look.

01:05:16MUSIC PLAYS

01:05:40Points, points, points.

01:05:42No, we don't get points. Why don't you get points?

01:05:44I'm putting my foot... I need to be truthful and honest.

01:05:47We just put Colton. Yeah, that'll do.

01:05:49Oh, great! Jamie, shut up!

01:05:51No, no, because...

01:05:53No, because at least we can leave here being seen as just of honest.

01:05:58You've just got four points. You're going to win.

01:06:02But it doesn't feel right.

01:06:06OK, it's time for another bonus question,

01:06:09and to help me, please welcome my very own Masked Singers.

01:06:14APPLAUSE

01:06:23These four are all former talent show contestants

01:06:25who are wearing masks from TV shows.

01:06:27All I want you to do is write down the character of the mask

01:06:30and the person underneath. Oh, right.

01:06:32Character of the mask, person underneath.

01:06:36Oh!

01:06:38There's three TV characters, four masked singers.

01:06:42OK, so have you all got characters, have you all got singers written down?

01:06:44Yes, yes. OK, so the first one, what did you put?

01:06:47Uh, Katrina from Power Rangers.

01:06:49Katrina, yeah. We would have accepted the yellow one.

01:06:54Did you get the yellow one? Yeah, we got the yellow one.

01:06:56Sabre too. Jimmy, we just put Power Rangers.

01:06:58Yeah, that's fine. OK, Power Rangers.

01:07:00Who do you think those masks are in the middle?

01:07:02Squid Game slash The Cube.

01:07:06OK, what did you put? Squid Game.

01:07:08Squid Game. It's Squid Game. OK, Squid Game.

01:07:10And this one, the one closest to me?

01:07:12Doctor Who, Cyberman. Cyberman.

01:07:14Doctor Who. Yeah, we put that.

01:07:16So it was the Cyberman from Doctor Who.

01:07:18Who was underneath? Did you get this? Yes, we did.

01:07:20Who do you think?

01:07:22I thought the yellow one could only be Honey G.

01:07:24Honey G, who I get mistaken for a lot.

01:07:26All right, and then what did the others get there?

01:07:28Honey G, yeah. Honey G.

01:07:30Yellow Power Ranger, take your mask off.

01:07:32Take it off! Take it off!

01:07:34Take it off! Take it off!

01:07:36Take it off!

01:07:38It's Honey G.

01:07:40Honey G.

01:07:42Honey G, who I believe Daisy May Cooper is keeping for parts.

01:07:44OK, the middle ones,

01:07:46I'd be surprised if you didn't get this.

01:07:48It's the Cheeky Girls. I'm the Cheeky Girls.

01:07:50OK, so, Squid Games,

01:07:52if you take off your mask now...

01:07:54Take it off! Take it off!

01:07:56Take it off!

01:08:00And then, who's this fine figure of man?

01:08:02Wagner. We went for Chico.

01:08:04It's Chico.

01:08:06What did you write down?

01:08:08We just put the voice.

01:08:10OK.

01:08:12Take it off! Take it off!

01:08:14Take it off!

01:08:18Chico, everyone.

01:08:20Very nice to have you all here.

01:08:24Are you all still performing?

01:08:26Yeah, still performing.

01:08:28Can you rap for us?

01:08:30H to the O to the N to the E to the Y to the G.

01:08:32It's Honey G.

01:08:34To the N to the E to the Y to the G.

01:08:36It's Honey G.

01:08:38When I say Honey, you say G.

01:08:40Honey. G.

01:08:42Honey. G.

01:08:46And Cheeky Girls, can you still dance and sing?

01:08:48We can still dance and sing.

01:08:50I'm a Cheeky Girl.

01:08:52Do you want to come here and do it?

01:08:58I've lost all control here.

01:09:00We are the Cheeky Girls.

01:09:02We are the Cheeky Girls.

01:09:04We are the Cheeky Boys.

01:09:06We are the Cheeky Boys.

01:09:08We are the Cheeky Boys.

01:09:10Cheeky, cheeky.

01:09:14Sure, sure.

01:09:20All right, at the end of that, let's see what it's done to the scores.

01:09:22OK, so, in last place currently,

01:09:24Russell and Babatunde with 19 points.

01:09:26Judy and Daisy have 22.

01:09:28Out in the lead, Jamie and Natasha with 37 points.

01:09:32Time for a break now.

01:09:34Please give it up for our special guests,

01:09:36Honey G, the Cheeky Girls and Chico.

01:09:38What time is it, Chico?

01:09:40It's Chico time.

01:09:42Public hell on It's Chico Time.

01:09:44We'll be back in five.

01:09:56Welcome back to the Big Fat Quiz of Telly.

01:09:58If you're still with us, I can only assume it's not bedtime yet

01:10:00because the batteries in the remote have broken.

01:10:02This next round is all about science on telly.

01:10:04Television went from black and white to colour in 1967,

01:10:06although, looking at the presenters back then,

01:10:08they did keep it mainly white.

01:10:14In 2007, Channel 4 launched medical reality series

01:10:16Embarrassing Bodies,

01:10:18and the main takeaway from Embarrassing Bodies

01:10:20was that you definitely shouldn't watch it

01:10:22whilst eating a takeaway.

01:10:24Notable episodes of Embarrassing Bodies

01:10:26included Man Producing Breast Milk

01:10:28and Bloke With Micropenis.

01:10:30What can I say?

01:10:32I was young and I was excited to be on TV.

01:10:34Time for some questions on science on TV.

01:10:52The three main monsters from Stranger Things.

01:10:54Stranger Things.

01:10:56Back in 2009,

01:10:58Benedict Cumberbatch narrated a BBC2

01:11:00natural history documentary called South Pacific.

01:11:02His voiceover attracted online ridicule,

01:11:04but can you remember why?

01:11:06I don't think he's real.

01:11:10He was invented to trick Americans.

01:11:12Yeah.

01:11:14Do you think?

01:11:16Imagine going to school and being called Benedict Cumberbatch.

01:11:20Question three in this round, all about science.

01:11:22What do Phil Mitchell's shooting,

01:11:24the first Pop Idol final,

01:11:26and the 1990 World Cup semi-final

01:11:28all have in common?

01:11:30They all fucking happened on a Sunday.

01:11:34How were you in the lead at any point?

01:11:48OK, final question in this round.

01:11:50We go across to the one lonely, Mr Stephen Fry.

01:11:52Hello, Jimmy.

01:11:54Looking good, aren't I?

01:11:56Now, I played C,

01:11:58the head of MI6 in Doctor Who,

01:12:00so I know my sonic screwdriver

01:12:02from my sisterhood of Khan,

01:12:04but can your teams tell me

01:12:06what the Doctor's vehicle,

01:12:08TARDIS, stands for?

01:12:12OK, so Stephen wants to know

01:12:14what Doctor Who's TARDIS stands for.

01:12:16Right, time for some answers.

01:12:18OK.

01:12:20So I asked you to name the three monsters

01:12:22from Stranger Things.

01:12:24Judy, Daisy, I imagine you got this right.

01:12:26Super easy, go on.

01:12:28Vecna?

01:12:30Question mark.

01:12:32Daffodil.

01:12:34Vecna?

01:12:36Question mark.

01:12:38Daffodil.

01:12:40OK, well, one of those is right.

01:12:42Jamie, Natasha?

01:12:44And then two,

01:12:46Dirty Rainbows?

01:12:48Yeah.

01:12:50And three, Demogorgon.

01:12:52Demogorgon is right, so Vecna, Demogorgon,

01:12:54Russell, Babatunde?

01:12:56Claire Balding.

01:12:58Which one do you think is Claire Balding?

01:13:00The one in the middle, that's Claire Balding.

01:13:02That's what she can summon.

01:13:04That's not Claire Balding,

01:13:06but when Claire Balding is enraged,

01:13:08like if someone steals a parking space...

01:13:10Bang.

01:13:12She goes in, before you know it,

01:13:14SHRUM!

01:13:18The answer is actually the Mind Flayer,

01:13:20but you're so close.

01:13:22You say Potato, I say Claire Balding.

01:13:26So it was Vecna, the Mind Flayer,

01:13:28and the third is Demogorgon.

01:13:30I asked you why Benedict Cumberbatch's voiceover

01:13:32for a BBC documentary attracted online ridicule.

01:13:34What did you put?

01:13:36We put that he looked like an otter.

01:13:38Yeah, but it was a voiceover, so...

01:13:40Daisy, Judy?

01:13:42He sounded like a seal.

01:13:44Jamie, Natasha?

01:13:46Penguangs.

01:13:48He kept calling penguins penguangs.

01:13:50Like he had something up his nose.

01:13:52That's exactly the right answer.

01:13:54Oh, there you go!

01:13:56Oh, my goodness!

01:13:58Well, let's take a listen, shall we?

01:14:02And the last thing you might expect to see here...

01:14:08...is penguins.

01:14:10These are Fjordland Crested Penguins,

01:14:12named after this corner of South New Zealand

01:14:14and their funky hairdo.

01:14:20So why are these woodlands so attractive to penguins?

01:14:24A freshwater stream through the forest

01:14:26makes a handy highway

01:14:28for a parent penguin heading home

01:14:30from a fishing trip with a crop full of food.

01:14:34He sounds so plausible, though.

01:14:36So plausible, though.

01:14:38You kind of want to go with it.

01:14:40Maybe I've been getting it wrong all these years.

01:14:42Well, I think we can rest assured it's not penguangs.

01:14:46You almost want the penguin to go,

01:14:48it's penguin, you dick.

01:14:50OK.

01:14:52I asked you what Phil Mitchell's shooting,

01:14:54the first Pop Idol final,

01:14:56and the 1990 World Cup semi-final have in common.

01:14:58Did you get this?

01:15:00Was it like millions of tellies were on

01:15:02because they were massive, it was watched,

01:15:04or was it...? OK, what did you get?

01:15:06You rushed us and I just wrote the thing

01:15:08when Lineker did a poo on the pitch.

01:15:10And you think that also happened

01:15:12when Phil Mitchell was shot?

01:15:14I don't know.

01:15:16And in the first Pop Idol final,

01:15:18we think Gary Lineker did a shit in it.

01:15:20Well, they're all scary moments.

01:15:22Judy, Daisy?

01:15:24All happened on a Sunday.

01:15:26Good one.

01:15:28And you think they're the only three things

01:15:30that have ever happened on TV on a Sunday?

01:15:32I think they all happened on a Sunday

01:15:34and it was quite a massive event.

01:15:36It had lots of, like, kettles on...

01:15:40..on that particular Sunday.

01:15:42Some bullshit going on. OK.

01:15:44Each caused kettle power surges,

01:15:46known as TV pick-up.

01:15:48It's the moment during a popular TV event

01:15:50when viewers unwittingly cause a huge surge

01:15:52of demand for electricity on the national grid

01:15:54by boiling the kettle at the same time.

01:15:56Points over there.

01:15:58Good.

01:16:00Finally for this round,

01:16:02Stephen Fry asked you what TARDIS stands for.

01:16:04Did you all get this?

01:16:06Yes. OK, what have you got?

01:16:08Massive but small.

01:16:10LAUGHTER

01:16:12A grower, not a shower kind of thing?

01:16:14No, just you go in, you think it's small,

01:16:16you go in and it's fucking massive.

01:16:18LAUGHTER

01:16:20So, Jamie, Natasha?

01:16:22Yeah, teleportation and really dangerous,

01:16:24incredible shed.

01:16:26LAUGHTER

01:16:28APPLAUSE

01:16:34You'd make a sort of great Doctor Who, I think.

01:16:36Oh, he would. Yeah. Oh, he would.

01:16:38Don't you think you'd be amazing as Doctor Who?

01:16:40You'd be incredible. Well, that feels great.

01:16:42LAUGHTER

01:16:44Bob, what did you get?

01:16:46Travelling around regularly, dropping intrigue.

01:16:48Spectacular.

01:16:50It's the same mechanism, not as good.

01:16:52LAUGHTER

01:16:54It stands for time and relative dimension in space.

01:16:58Oh, lovely. Yeah.

01:17:00OK, time now for a special bonus round.

01:17:02Here are some classic TV moments

01:17:04which have been subtly improved.

01:17:06You probably won't notice the difference.

01:17:08We're going to play in the clip.

01:17:10All I want you to do is tell me what TV character I've replaced.

01:17:12The character name is what we're looking for.

01:17:14Here's the first one.

01:17:20LAUGHTER

01:17:24LAUGHTER

01:17:32LAUGHTER

01:17:34APPLAUSE

01:17:38When I'm an old man, I think I'll look like Pat Butcher.

01:17:40LAUGHTER

01:17:42OK, what answers have we got?

01:17:44Frank Butcher.

01:17:46Well, if you can speak like that, why don't you always speak like that?

01:17:48Did you like that?

01:17:50LAUGHTER

01:17:52Frank Butcher.

01:17:54OK, and...?

01:17:56All right, I was going to write Butcher,

01:17:58but you guys stopped it when I was supposed to finish it,

01:18:02so it looks like Frank Butt.

01:18:04LAUGHTER

01:18:06OK, Frank Butcher, OK, points, points, points.

01:18:08It was me as Frank Butcher,

01:18:10seducing Pat Butcher in EastEnders.

01:18:12Here's the original steamy moment.

01:18:14That's me.

01:18:16LAUGHTER

01:18:18Oh, my God, that's you in 20 years!

01:18:20That's me now, if I hadn't had the work done.

01:18:22LAUGHTER

01:18:24All right, let's go. Next one.

01:18:26Officers of your rank

01:18:28normally appreciate politics

01:18:30as much as policing.

01:18:32Yes.

01:18:34I'm interested in one thing and one thing only,

01:18:36and that's Ben Cobbers.

01:18:40OK, what's the character name?

01:18:42I don't know his name, but he does say Mother of God a lot.

01:18:44So that's two points, please.

01:18:46Two points, please.

01:18:48He goes, Mother of God.

01:18:50Judy, Daisy?

01:18:52PC World.

01:18:54LAUGHTER

01:19:02It's not right, no.

01:19:04No, it's Lion of Duty, right?

01:19:06And the character's PC World.

01:19:08Oh, no, I got it,

01:19:10but it's not right. OK, did you get this, Natasha?

01:19:12I said Hitch,

01:19:14cos he's something hate.

01:19:16HE GASPS

01:19:18But I can't remember the rest of it.

01:19:20Lion of Duty.

01:19:22H.

01:19:24It was me as a passionately determined cop,

01:19:26Ted Hastings, in full boss mode

01:19:28in Lion of Duty.

01:19:30There's no difference on this one, look.

01:19:32Wow.

01:19:34All right, now this next one, it's highly erotic.

01:19:36He's all of a sudden saying,

01:19:38good luck.

01:19:40You're a pretty lad.

01:19:42We'd have to claw each other's eyes out to get naked with you.

01:19:46Walk.

01:19:50I could teach you how to do it.

01:19:52I know how to do it.

01:19:58You know nothing, Jon Snow.

01:20:06OK, so did you all get that?

01:20:08Who was the character called?

01:20:10Either Ingrit or,

01:20:12to be safe, we had Jon Snow's girlfriend.

01:20:16Er, Egrit.

01:20:18Did you get it, Jamie and Natasha?

01:20:20I went for she married Kit Harington and she has red hair.

01:20:24Wilding Rose, question mark.

01:20:26Judy, Daisy, what did you put?

01:20:28I put Game of Thrones,

01:20:30one of the sisters that shags her brother

01:20:32or cousins or the king.

01:20:36It was me as Egrit, seducing Jon Snow

01:20:38in Game of Thrones.

01:20:40Very tense moment.

01:20:42I think I wore it better.

01:20:44Let's check in on the scores.

01:20:46OK.

01:20:48Russell Babatunde, you've got 24.

01:20:50Judy, Daisy, you've got 24.

01:20:52Jamie, Natasha, you've got 40 points in the lead.

01:20:58That's it for this part.

01:21:00See you after the break for the show that,

01:21:02like a fart on a treadmill, just keeps lingering on.

01:21:04See you in five.

01:21:08APPLAUSE

01:21:14Welcome back to the final part of the Big Fat Quiz of Telly.

01:21:16The water-cooler round.

01:21:18It's like Doctor Who, isn't it?

01:21:20We just keep coming back.

01:21:22In 1982, Channel 4 launched with an episode of Countdown.

01:21:24Despite being over four decades old,

01:21:26Channel 4 still fulfils an incredibly important role

01:21:28in today's broadcasting landscape.

01:21:30Paying my mortgage.

01:21:34Netflix launched a streaming service in 2007.

01:21:36It's incredible.

01:21:38Personally, I can't believe they offer all those TV shows,

01:21:40films and comedy specials,

01:21:42and all for the low, low price of knowing

01:21:44the maiden name of your next-door neighbour.

01:21:48Sitcom Only Fools And Horses started in 1981.

01:21:50Del Boy wanted to be a social climber,

01:21:52but for him, going up market

01:21:54meant going up the market.

01:21:58Only Fools And Horses was the first ever British TV show

01:22:00to come with a trigger warning.

01:22:02That's all right, that's all right.

01:22:04But it was just to warn viewers that trigger was in it.

01:22:0890s sitcom Friends was about, well,

01:22:10friends living in New York.

01:22:12The cast were such good friends in real life

01:22:14that after it finished in 2004,

01:22:16it only took 17 years and $2 million each

01:22:18to get them back in a room together.

01:22:20Basically inseparable.

01:22:24All right, final round of questions.

01:22:26What do flowery twats,

01:22:28farty towels and fatty owls

01:22:30all have in common?

01:22:34Flowery twats,

01:22:36farty towels,

01:22:38fatty owls.

01:22:40OK, second question in the final round.

01:22:42TOWIE burst onto our TV screens in 2010,

01:22:44blessing the UK

01:22:46with new words such as ream and vajazzle,

01:22:48but can you fill in the blanks

01:22:50of this TOWIE mantra,

01:22:52know what before what?

01:23:00LAUGHTER

01:23:02OK, next up, we've got a question

01:23:04from everyone's favourite TV chef, Ainsley Harrier.

01:23:06Hello, Jimmy.

01:23:08Well, I've been cooking on TV

01:23:10for the best part of 30 years,

01:23:12and over that time,

01:23:14I've pretty much seen and heard it all.

01:23:16But back in 2020,

01:23:18Nigella Lawson

01:23:20managed to surprise everyone.

01:23:22She was making mashed potato

01:23:24over on BBC Two

01:23:26and did something that was described

01:23:28as one of the defining moments

01:23:30of the year.

01:23:32It had viewers in stitches,

01:23:34and Nigella explained to herself,

01:23:36it's a camp joke that became a habit.

01:23:38What did she do?

01:23:40OK, so Ainsley wants to know

01:23:42what Nigella Lawson did in 2020

01:23:44that had viewers howling with laughter

01:23:46and was described as one of the defining moments of the year.

01:23:48Final question in this round.

01:23:50What did James Van Der Beek

01:23:52from Dawson's Creek,

01:23:54Ian Beale from EastEnders,

01:23:56Colin Clark and Kim Kardashian

01:23:58have in common?

01:24:00They love barging holidays.

01:24:02LAUGHTER

01:24:04All right, everyone finished? Let's have some answers.

01:24:06I asked you what flowery twats,

01:24:08farty towels and fatty owls all have in common.

01:24:10Did you get this?

01:24:12Yes. OK, Jamie, Natasha?

01:24:1440 Towers sign. They could never get it right.

01:24:16He's only got a bloody... Got it right.

01:24:18APPLAUSE

01:24:20And then Judy, Jason, you got 40 Towers?

01:24:22Yeah. OK.

01:24:2440 Towers. Let's have a look.

01:24:26This is the classic inventive running gag.

01:24:30All right, I asked you to fill in the blanks

01:24:32of the iconic TOWIE mantra,

01:24:34know what before what?

01:24:36Know GCSEs before Coke.

01:24:38LAUGHTER

01:24:40No...

01:24:42Carbs before mobs.

01:24:44OK. Natasha, Jamie?

01:24:46Carbs and mobs.

01:24:48Carbs and mobs.

01:24:50Adorable. All right.

01:24:52Yep, no carbs before mobs.

01:24:54Yes. Good.

01:24:58Ainsley Harry asked you what Nigella Lawson did

01:25:00that was described as a defining moment of 2020

01:25:02and had viewers howling in laughter.

01:25:04What did you all put?

01:25:06Is that when she pronounced microevie?

01:25:08Jamie, Natasha?

01:25:10Microwave.

01:25:12Daisy, Judy?

01:25:14We just put nip slip.

01:25:16LAUGHTER

01:25:18Let's have a look and see if it's a nip slip.

01:25:20Now, I'm aiming

01:25:22for quite a solid mash

01:25:24at this stage, but I still need

01:25:26a bit of milk, full fat,

01:25:28which I've warmed in the microwave.

01:25:30LAUGHTER

01:25:32Yes, it was when she pronounced microwave

01:25:34as microwave. OK.

01:25:36I asked you what James Van Der Beek from Dawson's Creek,

01:25:38EastEnders Ian Beale, Rylan Clark

01:25:40and Kim Kardashian all have in common.

01:25:42They run a dog fighting syndicate.

01:25:44LAUGHTER

01:25:46Correct answer.

01:25:48Yeah, they're all involved in dog fighting.

01:25:50Daisy?

01:25:52We put they all lived in motorhomes

01:25:54at one point.

01:25:56Natasha, Jamie?

01:25:58Jamie said they're all humans.

01:26:00LAUGHTER

01:26:02Then I thought maybe they were all on Danny Minogue's

01:26:04team for X Factor.

01:26:06LAUGHTER

01:26:08You thought Kim Kardashian was on Danny

01:26:10Minogue's team? She gets about.

01:26:12I can tell you

01:26:14their TV crying faces

01:26:16all became memes.

01:26:18Ah!

01:26:20Oh, look at that!

01:26:22Kim Kardashian's iconic sad meme

01:26:24face there. James Van Der Beek

01:26:26giving an acting masterclass there.

01:26:28I don't know what he's upset about. Presumably

01:26:30he's crying face.

01:26:32All right, let's check in on the scores.

01:26:34Russell Babatunde, you've got 26.

01:26:36Judy Daisy, you've got 26.

01:26:38Jamie, Natasha, you're in the lead with 43.

01:26:40It's all to play for

01:26:42as we go into the final round.

01:26:44Ten points per correct answer.

01:26:46Oh, hello. Join us as we play

01:26:48Catchphrase with TV catchphrases.

01:26:50MUSIC

01:26:52Proper telly, this.

01:26:54OK, I'm going to show you three

01:26:56catchphrases from the world of telly

01:26:58with the help of TV legend

01:27:00Mr Chips.

01:27:02CHEERING

01:27:04That's the correct response, OK.

01:27:06If you think you know the TV catchphrase,

01:27:08buzz in an answer.

01:27:10OK, fingers on buzzers. Here is your first

01:27:12catchphrase of TV catchphrases.

01:27:14MUSIC

01:27:16BEEP

01:27:18BEEP

01:27:20Eat my shorts.

01:27:22BEEP

01:27:24CHEERING

01:27:26Yeah, OK.

01:27:28APPLAUSE

01:27:30You're up to 36 points.

01:27:32CHEERING

01:27:34OK, all right, next one. Buzz in if you think

01:27:36you know the answer. TV catchphrase, here we go.

01:27:38What's Mr Chips dressed as?

01:27:40BEEP

01:27:42He's only got one what?

01:27:44Say what you see.

01:27:46BEEP

01:27:48He's a one-eyed yellow man. LAUGHTER

01:27:50One eye is good, yeah, but...

01:27:52BEEP

01:27:54One o'clock. LAUGHTER

01:27:56Terrible answer, OK.

01:27:58Let's go again, look what's going on, OK.

01:28:00BEEP

01:28:02What's the job?

01:28:04BEEP

01:28:06BEEP

01:28:08BEEP

01:28:10One-eyed maid? One-eyed maid.

01:28:12One-eyed maid on the clock. LAUGHTER

01:28:14What's a TV catchphrase?

01:28:16One-eyed maiden serving...

01:28:18Buzz in. BEEP

01:28:20One-eyed maiden on the clock.

01:28:22What's a famous thing people say on telly?

01:28:24One-eyed maid...

01:28:26BEEP

01:28:28LAUGHTER

01:28:30BEEP

01:28:32I said it.

01:28:34I think Russell and Babatunde.

01:28:36APPLAUSE

01:28:40OK, you've got 36,

01:28:42you've got 36, you've got 43,

01:28:44it's all on this. OK.

01:28:46Whoever gets this wins the game.

01:28:48Here you go.

01:28:50MUSIC

01:28:56Soggy bottom.

01:28:58BEEP

01:29:00Is the right answer. CHEERING

01:29:02APPLAUSE

01:29:04Oh, my God!

01:29:08Well, that's it. Let's check in on the final scores.

01:29:1036, 36,

01:29:12the winners with 53, Jamie and Natasha.

01:29:14Dimitri, you've won.

01:29:16CHEERING

01:29:18Thank you. Thank you.

01:29:20Congratulations.

01:29:22That's it. A big thank you to our brilliant panel

01:29:24of special guests and thank you for watching.

01:29:26I'm Jimmy Carr, this has been The Big Fat Quiz at Telly.

01:29:28Good night.

01:29:30MUSIC

01:29:34CHEERING

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