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~~~~~
Video Information: 16.02.23, International Psychology Summit Conference
Context:
~ How to set priorities?
~ How to be free?
~ What is freedom?
~ What is FOMO?
~ Why do people tend to believe lies more often than the truth?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
~~~~~
Video Information: 16.02.23, International Psychology Summit Conference
Context:
~ How to set priorities?
~ How to be free?
~ What is freedom?
~ What is FOMO?
~ Why do people tend to believe lies more often than the truth?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Okay, so you talked about influences in the previous answer.
00:07So you know, like, as an 18 year old, there's a thing called FOMO, fear of missing out.
00:15And like, it's, it's kind of being influenced, but we have been told key when we're 80, when
00:21we're 90, we're going to remember the good old days and we're going to remember the memories
00:25we made with friends.
00:27So like, you know, how do we manage both of that, like FOMO and our memories we're going
00:35to make.
00:38Fear of missing out.
00:40Missing out on what?
00:41Just the social aspect.
00:43Okay, so there's a lot going on.
00:46And you don't want to miss out on that, fine.
00:49That's what you're saying?
00:50Yeah, it's like, you know, I, sometimes, a lot of my friends invite me out, like, you
00:58know, they just go out.
00:59I don't go out.
01:00And I do have that FOMO.
01:01So something like that.
01:04So you are afraid that later on, you will feel you have missed out on something.
01:11That that's what?
01:12Like, in the present, you feel, you feel like you're missing out, you're not making friends
01:18and all that.
01:20Okay, so others are having a good time and I'm missing out on that.
01:24Kind of.
01:25So that's what you're saying?
01:27Okay, fine.
01:29So that's one thing.
01:30And what's the other thing that you wanted to balance this one against?
01:33And a lot of elders say, you know, even our teachers, they tell us, you won't remember
01:40the actual studying part, you know, have fun, make memories, just live life.
01:45But then these two are complementary to each other.
01:47There is no contradiction that I see.
01:51You want to go out and have fun and your teachers are also encouraging you to go out and have
01:55fun.
01:56I mean, it's like, you don't go out.
02:03Now that's interesting.
02:04So why don't you go out?
02:07Like, my parents.
02:14So why are the parents saying that you must not go out?
02:17That's something you should ask them.
02:20So I should ask your parents.
02:22I should ask your friends and I should also ask your teachers.
02:26Why should I not rather ask you something?
02:29Where are you in the entire equation?
02:35The equation has X, Y and Z.
02:37Where is I?
02:39Okay, so me personally, I would love to go out, but I'm concerned about my safety.
02:46I don't know these people very well.
02:49But, you know, I feel that in order to make friends, be friends with them, I should hang
02:55out with them more often.
02:57It's very superficial.
02:59No, no, no, no, no, no.
03:02If it's important to you, then it can't be superficial, please.
03:07So I'm taking it with all seriousness.
03:11So who's a friend?
03:12Let's define.
03:13Who is a friend?
03:16A person you can trust.
03:18A person you can?
03:19You can trust.
03:20You can trust.
03:21Trust in what?
03:23Just in general, like you can tell them stuff that's happening with you and like, you know,
03:28there are coincidences and then they are friends.
03:33You know how most people are.
03:34You know how we are all more inclined towards falseness rather than the truth.
03:44Towards vice rather than virtue, right?
03:47So what do you want to trust your friend with?
03:52Vulnerability, like I believe that a friend is a person you can be vulnerable with.
04:01So you can tell your friend, what is it that hurts you?
04:05Yeah.
04:06Right.
04:07And what happens as a consequence of this disclosure?
04:11Is your vulnerability reduced?
04:14Does he help you out or do you stay as you are?
04:18It does help you out.
04:21So if I go back to the Mahabharata because the Gita was named just a few minutes back.
04:34So there is a pair we see, Krishna and Arjuna.
04:41And there is also another pair we see, let's say, Shakuni and Duryodhana.
04:54You know of these characters, right?
04:56Very prominent characters.
05:01Which among these two would you call as a pair of friends?
05:07Arjuna and Krishna.
05:11But for sure Duryodhana was sharing all his vulnerabilities with Shakuni mama.
05:16But it was a one way.
05:19So maybe Shakuni too was sharing all his vulnerabilities with Duryodhana bhanja.
05:27Is that friendship?
05:28I think friendship.
05:30Huh?
05:31I think, but they were also friends.
05:34But then these two definitions of friendship are hugely at odds with each other.
05:40We cannot have both of these, right?
05:43When you define a thing, the definition cannot include the opposite of that thing.
05:49Who is a friend?
05:50In general, I mean, I don't know how that sounds, but in general, if somebody is indeed
06:04your crime partner, he becomes not only your friend, but your bosom buddy.
06:10And you say he stands with me in my deepest evils.
06:17So he is my truest friend.
06:22On the other hand, if there is someone who tries to bring some sense to you, that fellow
06:27doesn't appear very pleasing or does he?
06:38Once you know what is meant by friendship, it will be very easy to be drawn to the right
06:46person.
06:49On the other hand, if you do not know yourself, you will also not know who a real friend is.
06:57See, I am sorry if it is getting serious on a light topic.
07:06But there is no other way, because you are talking of a friend to yourself, right?
07:13When you say friend, you don't merely say friend, you say my friend.
07:17So to understand who deserves to be a friend, you will have to know yourself.
07:25If you don't know who you are, you will not be able to know which friend to have and keep.
07:32We are people in need of help, support, light, upliftment.
07:41A friend is someone who can bring these to our life.
07:47A friend is not necessarily someone you can have a good time with.
07:51A friend is someone who teaches you the very definition of having a good time.
08:00Because having a good time is a concept, right?
08:04And that's why the definition of good time varies from person to person.
08:09A friend is someone who takes you to higher pleasures.
08:18A good time is supposed to give you pleasure, right?
08:20Having good time, having pleasure.
08:24But then there are low pleasures and there are high pleasures.
08:28A friend is someone who can help you graduate from lowly pleasures to higher pleasures.
08:42But that will happen only if first of all there is an I in the equation.
08:48There has to be an I in the equation.
08:52Who am I and what is my requirement and that will tell you who your friend is.
09:00A crime partner appears actually very pleasing but avoid.
09:15There was one fellow who was expelled from the assembly.
09:18I'll continue with that same example.
09:21There was one fellow who was expelled from the assembly when Duryodhana and his kin were
09:27trying their dirty tricks on Draupadi and you know who that fellow was?
09:33The one who was trying to talk some sense to Duryodhana.
09:38What was his name?
09:39Vikar and one of the brothers and Vidur.
09:50These were the two who were sidelined and humiliated.
09:57So given the way we are, if our intention is to remain as we are, forget about fear
10:07of missing out.
10:08You will actively want to miss out on the right thing.
10:16The right thing is the thing that you deeply want without knowing what you deeply want.
10:24So it's not FOMO really, it's WTMO.
10:28I want to miss out on the real thing and I want to stick to all the lowly things.
10:36That's the nature of mind and that's the tragedy with human existence.
10:47We deeply avoid that which we deeply love.
10:55We avoid depth altogether and we wallow in the superficialities.
11:04We do not know what is it our heart really beats for and when that thing comes right
11:13in front, we just want to run away.
11:18That appearance of that thing feels so embarrassing, so dreadful, almost like death.
11:27So we avoid that.
11:30The thumb rule is, if something appears very alluring, right in the first instance, think
11:39not twice but ten times.
11:43The real thing that deserves your companionship, even your devotion, will be difficult to go to.
12:00Even more difficult to stay with.
12:05Friends that appear attractive in the first sight itself will be 99% times be the ones
12:16you don't need to be with.
12:20Just avoid.
12:21You are not missing out on anything.
12:26But yes, you are missing out greatly on something else.
12:32It's just that all that happens below the radar.
12:39We don't even know what we are missing out on.
12:42When you are young, and I'll tell you the real FOMO.
12:50People reach the age of 80 and die without having ever really lived.
13:01So they have not missed out on a thing.
13:06They have missed out on life itself.
13:11And that's what you should wonder about.
13:13What is life?
13:14Who am I?
13:15And what is it that I really need to have because I won't be alive forever.
13:19I'll be gone.
13:22Even if you are not physically gone, your energies will be gone.
13:26A point will come when your physical apparatus will not support too much activity, even too
13:33much thought.
13:36So this is your time.
13:38This is your peak.
13:40Figure out what is it that you must do with it.
13:45Again, I'm not sure whether this has made any sense, but we still…