Taskmaster NZ S05 E07
Taskmaster NZ S05 E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x94qk4g
Taskmaster NZ S05 E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x94qk4g
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello.
00:01And...
00:02Two!
00:03Come on!
00:04Woo-hoo!
00:05That's for the haters.
00:06Come here.
00:07Come here.
00:08Jiggle-biddle-chee!
00:09Oh!
00:10Oh!
00:11Oh!
00:12Oh!
00:13Oh!
00:14Oh!
00:15Oh!
00:16Oh!
00:17Oh!
00:18Oh!
00:19Oh!
00:20Oh!
00:21Oh!
00:22Oh!
00:23Oh!
00:24Oh!
00:25Oh!
00:26Oh!
00:27Oh!
00:28Oh!
00:29Oh!
00:30Oh!
00:31Oh!
00:32Oh!
00:33Oh!
00:34Oh!
00:35Oh!
00:36Oh!
00:37Oh!
00:38Oh!
00:39Oh!
00:40Oh!
00:41Oh!
00:42Oh!
00:43Oh!
00:44Oh!
00:45Oh!
00:46Oh!
00:47Oh!
00:48Oh!
00:49Oh!
00:50Oh!
00:51Oh!
00:52Oh!
00:53Oh!
00:54Oh!
00:55Oh!
00:56Oh!
00:57Oh!
00:58Oh!
00:59Oh!
01:00Oh!
01:01Oh!
01:02Oh!
01:03Oh!
01:04Oh!
01:05Oh!
01:06Oh!
01:07Oh!
01:08Oh!
01:09Oh!
01:10Oh!
01:11Oh!
01:12Oh!
01:13Oh!
01:14Oh!
01:15Oh!
01:21Tonight these four clowns, jesters and downright desperados
01:27And standing in for Tofingafepulea'i, ladies and gentlemen, Baa Baa!
01:34And here on my left is my right-hand man.
01:39Ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams!
01:45Are we ready for the prize task?
01:47Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the most delightful package from the sketchiest
01:53place.
01:55OK, Ben Hurley, you seem like the kind of person who's visited a few sketchy places
01:59in your time.
02:00What have you brought in?
02:01Well, Jeremy, I used to work for a sketchy place called TV3.
02:11Shots fired!
02:14I was 22 years of age and I stole the dot from the TV3 sign.
02:20Wow!
02:25I've had this in my possession for over 20 years.
02:28It's one of my proudest possessions, but I'm willing to put it up tonight.
02:32Where do you keep it at home?
02:34Oh, in a box.
02:37OK, Hayley, what did you bring in?
02:39I thought of one of my favourite packages of all time, and so I got a sketchy done of
02:45Jason Mamoa's package.
02:50I've actually scanned it because the original is in my bedroom on Aaron's side.
02:55OK, so is that so when you lean across, you sort of...
02:58So when I turn to him and say, like, I love you, the eyeline is similar.
03:04Baba, you are in here for Tofinga.
03:07What have you brought in?
03:08Yeah, probably stuffed it up already.
03:10I've brought in a sketchy package from a good place.
03:14So, in Samoan culture, when you're dealing with money, we give envelopes with the name
03:19So I've brought in an envelope with my name on it.
03:23But inside...
03:27An invitation to an investigation meeting.
03:30Yeah, from my old job when I got snapped drinking wine.
03:35Years ago, years ago. Last year.
03:40The best thing I think about this is that it's incident one.
03:43Which says to me that there's more incidents than one.
03:48To leave things to the imagination.
03:51Tom!
03:54OK, so my local fish and chippery, it's a sketchy place because it's got a D rating.
04:00Oh!
04:02They do a mean spring roll and mean chips.
04:05There we go, there's the spring roll.
04:07Is that a spring roll?
04:10That's a D rated spring roll, I'll tell you now.
04:14And also, if you want to catch up on Brad and Jennifer's divorce,
04:19they've got the magazines for you.
04:22Abby, what did you bring in?
04:24Well, I also went to a sketchy place, aka an art studio.
04:29And I had something commissioned.
04:32This delightful package.
04:44Where's your hand?
04:46Yeah, I know. He's rounding second base, I'll tell you.
04:50What's happening in Paul's downstairs? What is that?
04:53Well, you know what's happening.
04:57You set for this.
05:05Five points, Abby.
05:07Yes!
05:08One point for Ben Hurley.
05:10Oh, come on!
05:12That's my least favourite part of the TV3 logo, that red dot.
05:17Also, Bubba's made no sense because she got the thing around the wrong way as well.
05:20So, two points for Bubba.
05:22Three points for Hayley and Jason Momoa's package.
05:25And four points for Tom and Jennifer.
05:28And four points for Brad and Jennifer.
05:31And four points for Brad and Jennifer.
05:34Three points for Hayley and Jason Momoa's package.
05:36And four points for Tom and the Fish and Chips.
05:41OK, Paul, I am ready for my first proper task of the show.
05:45Bad luck comes in threes.
05:48Incredible feats come in tens.
05:56Knock, knock.
05:58Who's there?
05:59Tom.
06:00Tom who?
06:01Tom Sainsbury.
06:02Hey, Peter.
06:03H.
06:04I've got a task for you, Tiffany.
06:06I have a task for you.
06:07Oh, that makes sense.
06:09Do the most incredible...
06:10Here's your task.
06:11Here's your task, Abby.
06:12Thank you, Paul.
06:13I have a task for you.
06:14Got it.
06:15Yeah.
06:16It's the same thing, but...
06:17Let's do the most incredible...
06:18Your task, Tom.
06:19OK, great.
06:20Imagine you're Wheelie Bin at the end of the week.
06:21Here's your task, Abby.
06:22Oh, no, no, no, thank you.
06:26I have a task for you.
06:27New than me, 10.
06:29Do the most incredible thing ten times.
06:32The most incredible thing done ten times wins.
06:35You have 45 minutes.
06:36Your time starts now.
06:43I'm ready for five incredible things ten times.
06:47Who are we seeing first?
06:48They're both certified tens.
06:50It's Ben and Abby.
06:52I can do a handspring.
06:54Well, not really.
06:55I can do, like, a cartwheel handspring.
06:57That's pretty incredible.
06:58Yeah.
06:59Like, do that ten times.
07:00Well, it would be pretty incredible
07:01if I did, like, sick parkour stunts.
07:05OK, I'm going to attempt to do ten in a row
07:08with added little things in the middle.
07:13One.
07:18Two.
07:21One.
07:22Two.
07:24That went in.
07:27Three.
07:29Four.
07:31Three.
07:33Four.
07:35Four.
07:36Wait, what's this?
07:38Oh, my God.
07:39It's a letter from the captain of the Titanic.
07:42That's an incredible find.
07:44What does it say?
07:46Oh, my God.
07:51Five.
07:52It would be wild if I found nine more incredible artifacts.
07:55Whoa!
07:56Four.
07:59Wait, where did I put it?
08:02It's a kiwi.
08:03Yeah.
08:04Whoa!
08:06Oh, look at this.
08:07It's a little kiwi, a brand-new species.
08:10That's incredible.
08:12Not very good to go.
08:14Six.
08:18Oh, so close.
08:20Why did I put this one in?
08:22This is the key to the vault in the Tower of London.
08:26This is the cutlass of the world's most famous pirate.
08:29It's Aladdin's lamb.
08:30This is the childhood artifact of Queen Victoria.
08:33It's the sands of father time.
08:35It's counting down from when we'll all die.
08:40Yes!
08:41Seven.
08:45Eight.
08:51Nine.
08:52I did a discovery.
08:54Whoa, how many is that?
08:55This?
08:57Heaps.
09:00And ten.
09:02It's a skeleton of Jean-Pierre.
09:06Nobody knew where his body ended up.
09:08It's a message in a bottle.
09:10It's another message from the captain of the Titanic.
09:13It says, I like pizza pie.
09:16Incredible.
09:17Incredible.
09:21Abby, I think it speaks to the different minds
09:24of our comedians here on Taskmaster
09:27that you started off doing ten incredible parkour moves
09:30and ended up finding ten artifacts.
09:33Identifying ten incredible artifacts.
09:37Because to the average person, that just would have been a bottle.
09:40But I looked at it and I said,
09:42I know this is from the captain of the Titanic.
09:45Yeah, so you found out that he actually sunk the Titanic on purpose.
09:48And...
09:49And he likes pizza pie.
09:50Yeah!
09:52Ben Hurley was pretty incredible.
09:54I mean, for a 115kg, 48-year-old man...
10:00..you moved very well.
10:02A little bit of spice added to those numbers.
10:05But I kind of feel like you undid your good work with the flips
10:09with some really ordinary work in the other bit.
10:12Look, the ten incredible things were the handsprings.
10:15I was just adding a little bit of extra for experts.
10:17I was impressed.
10:19Especially for a 120kg, 59-year-old man.
10:23A burly unit like you.
10:25A big unit like you.
10:27No, I'm a 60-year-old, 400kg man.
10:31All right, 20 incredible actions down.
10:3430 more to go.
10:36We'll see you after these incredible ads.
10:42APPLAUSE
10:51Nau mai, hoki mai.
10:52Welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:54Before the break, we were watching our comedians
10:56try to perform one incredible task ten times in a row.
11:00So far, we've seen Ben do a bunch of flips,
11:02and Abby showed us a bunch of crap she'd chucked in the woods.
11:07Who have we got next, Paul?
11:10This is the most far-right comedian on the show
11:14in terms of where he's sitting and his political beliefs.
11:18It's Tom Sainsbury.
11:20Oh.
11:21What is incredible?
11:22When I say incredible, you think...
11:25No.
11:26Should I do that to you?
11:27Yeah.
11:28When I say incredible, you think...
11:30Time travel.
11:32Whoa.
11:33OK, Paul, I'm off to time travel to ten different eras
11:37with my incredible time machine.
11:48Oh, my God.
11:50I just killed a T-Rex.
11:52And you brought back its feet.
11:53Yeah.
11:54Seems kind of inhumane.
11:55It does.
11:56I'm regretting it now.
11:57Put up a good fight.
12:00I guess that's how dinosaurs really went out.
12:03Hunted by time travellers.
12:05Oh, Paul.
12:06I just went and told Mary that she's pregnant.
12:08Wow.
12:09She took the news remarkably well.
12:12Oh, my God.
12:13I just went and fought in the Crusades.
12:15There you go.
12:16There's a memento.
12:17Oh, boy.
12:19I just went and made love to Jesse James.
12:21Congrats.
12:22Too many beans.
12:25I just went and arrested Jack the Ripper.
12:27You will not believe who it is.
12:29Who is it?
12:30I can't say.
12:31I'm sworn to secrecy.
12:32Oh, my gosh.
12:33That was amazing.
12:34I've just been partying at Woodstock.
12:36Groovy.
12:37Oh, that was amazing.
12:39I just went and hung out with Prince, Madonna, and Cyndi Lauper.
12:42Wow.
12:45I've just been to 2025.
12:48Good news?
12:49Do you have any kind of dictatory, totalitarian tendencies, Paul?
12:54Not that I know of, but...
12:56Oh.
12:57Oh, God.
12:59I've just been to the future.
13:00What's it like?
13:01There's lots of laughing.
13:04Oh, is that what you're doing?
13:05Yeah, yeah.
13:07Tom, is that you?
13:08I've just come from the distant future, or the distant past,
13:11where only amoebas live.
13:17Oh.
13:18Yeah, just making sure I'm back in the present.
13:20I'll do whatever you want, any of your bidding.
13:23Okay.
13:24Oh, overlord.
13:26Thank you, Tom.
13:27Thank you, Paul.
13:30We should probably discuss the Crusades.
13:34Yes.
13:35Controversial.
13:36Which side did you fight on, the Christian side or the Muslim side?
13:40Wow.
13:45Do you want to just distance yourself from him?
13:47We're just going to move over here.
13:49I was more of a pilferer.
13:54Any side, I'll take any of those.
13:58Paul, I am ready for another incredible thing.
14:00How about 20 more incredible things?
14:03Here's Hayley Antelfinger.
14:05Most incredible thing.
14:07Got a piano?
14:08Like a keyboard, yeah?
14:09Yep.
14:10You'll play it ten times?
14:11Ten times.
14:12I'm quite good at parallel parking.
14:14That's pretty incredible.
14:15Here's the first song.
14:23It's quite incredible because it's a duet, two people.
14:25I'm playing it by myself.
14:27Just pretend this is like a busy inner city street,
14:30and I've been circling the block for hours.
14:32Oh look, there's a park.
14:44One.
14:45What's another style you like?
14:46See if we can get ten styles, eh?
14:48Jazz.
14:52Oh my God, the eulogy's starting.
14:54Oh my God, my grandfather's going to be so upset.
14:56I'm a bit out, but for a funeral I'd say that's good.
14:59What's another style you like?
15:00Blues.
15:06Oh God, look, here's a park.
15:07Oh my God, fantastic.
15:09That's great.
15:12Hamlet's ready.
15:16Sorry I'm late.
15:17It's not really acceptable, you're so late.
15:19No, no, let me just park.
15:21I'm here, I'm here, I'm sorry.
15:22It's a good park, but I've been here for three hours.
15:24It's an incredible park.
15:30I'm from Yugoslavia.
15:32Oh my gosh.
15:33Thank you, sir, thank you so much.
15:35Welcome to New Zealand.
15:39You stupid boy, you stay there!
15:41Don't move, fool!
15:42Wait till you move to Parallel Park.
15:44Get in the car.
15:51Okay, here we go.
15:56Ma'am, I don't think you should be behind a wheel.
15:58That's ten stars, eh?
15:59I don't think that's ten.
16:04Is that one?
16:05Yeah, we'll make that one, Lee.
16:06Oh God, I'm going to have to Parallel Park.
16:11Oh my God, a baby's coming out.
16:17Incredible.
16:19Hey, I'm going to get you, Paul!
16:24And then I cut your head off.
16:26Mum, Dad, when this car stops, a bomb is going to go off,
16:30but I can't keep driving forever.
16:32This is it.
16:33What are you doing? Don't park.
16:35Goodbye, Paul.
16:41Oh, look at it, Paul!
16:46This was Mozart's final piece before he died.
16:49Okay.
17:01You could have made it a little bit more difficult
17:03by perhaps putting the other cars a little closer together,
17:05and that was a giant Parallel Park.
17:07You can see it in this,
17:08but each time we made the gap smaller and smaller,
17:10but I'm glad that we actually focused on the character work.
17:14I'm sorry to snitch, but Hayley did nine parks.
17:21That's actually bullshit, Paul.
17:25Well, I mean, we showed them all and there were nine.
17:28Well, then count my characters.
17:30Well, again, nine.
17:34Baba, did you know Tuffinger could play the piano like that?
17:37Hell yeah, he's raised in the church.
17:40His whole body moved more than he has
17:42in the entire season of Taskmaster.
17:44It's just with his fingers there moving.
17:46Are you mocking my friend?
17:48No.
17:51He's really enjoyed making Paul move quite a lot so far.
17:54Good, it's about time you moved.
17:58And I was moved by the quality of his piano playing.
18:01Same, it was so good.
18:03Like, every song that he did, all ten of them.
18:09So, how do you want to score it?
18:11Normally I would disqualify Hayley for not completing the task properly.
18:14I'll give you a point for that.
18:16Thank you, Jeremy.
18:17Two for Ben, because, no, I thought the flips were amazing,
18:20but I think you undid them with every move that you did in between it.
18:24Abbey, three points for you,
18:26because I learnt some interesting things
18:28about the captain of the Titanic with the piss play.
18:31Four points for Tuffinger, because impressive piano play from him.
18:35And five points for Tom Sainsbury, Time Traveller.
18:43So, should we look at the scoreboard?
18:45Currently out in first with nine points, it's Tom Sainsbury.
18:53OK, let's keep things moving.
18:55Paul, what have you got for me?
18:56Bravo, Charlie.
18:57Take off your uniform and pour yourself a kilo of whisky
19:00at the Foxtrot Golf Hotel in India.
19:04MUSIC
19:14Paul?
19:16I see a task.
19:18Paul's not here.
19:20Follow Paul's instructions.
19:22You may tell him to stop or ask him to start again.
19:26Hello, Paul.
19:28Hello, Paul. I'm ready for some instructions.
19:31Charlie. Oscar.
19:34Hey, Oscar, do you know where Paul is?
19:37November. January, February, March.
19:40Sierra. Tango.
19:43APPLAUSE
19:46OK, quick show of hands, who knows the NATO alphabet?
19:51Of course. Of course.
19:54No-one else? I probably know most of it.
19:57They've had sex, Jeremy.
19:59I've had Sierra echo xylophone.
20:02And I've had a fun time with my dad in the garage.
20:06I mean...
20:08I'm sorry.
20:10Learning the codes.
20:14OK, who are we going to see tackle the task first, Paul?
20:18Once again, up first, we have Bravo Echo November
20:22and Alpha Bravo Bravo Yankee.
20:26Charlie. Yeah, C.
20:29Oscar. Uh-huh.
20:31November.
20:33Sierra. S.
20:35Tango. Const.
20:37Romeo. R.
20:39Uniform. Yeah.
20:41Charlie.
20:43OK, yeah.
20:45Tango. Construct.
20:48Alpha. A.
20:50Papa. Alpha.
20:52Papa. Alpha.
20:54Papa. P-A-P. Echo.
20:56This is going to be paper. Romeo.
20:58Yep, it's way ahead of you there.
21:00Papa. Lima.
21:02Alpha. Plane. Paper plane.
21:04November. Echo. Uh-huh.
21:06Alpha. November. Uh-huh.
21:09Delta. D.
21:12Tango. India.
21:14Bravo. Yankee.
21:16Sierra. Alpha. Tango.
21:18India. Bravo.
21:20Tango. Foxtrot.
21:22Alpha. Sierra.
21:24Tango. Fastest wins.
21:26Echo. Fastest.
21:28Sierra. You can stop.
21:32Not very good at planes.
21:46Complete.
21:48Half the clock. Thank you, Ben.
21:50Do you think anyone will beat that?
21:52Wouldn't have thought so. You'll see it,
21:54but actually I figured it out before you even finished.
22:02That is the most bored
22:04I've ever seen a contestant
22:06on the show, Ben. What they didn't show
22:08was Paul had to restart three times.
22:10So I was a bit bored by the end.
22:12It was impressive, though. No
22:14pen straight off the top of the dome.
22:16Nah, must have not been hung over that day.
22:18Abby, you didn't
22:20lose focus for a second. You were right
22:22on the task there by the looks of it. Yeah, it's not
22:24often you feel, oh, I'm
22:26actually doing well here, and
22:28a dangerous train of thoughts.
22:30Okay, but how long did it take Abby
22:32and Ben to put the plane in the bin?
22:34Ben, 10 minutes and 22 seconds.
22:36Abby,
22:386 minutes 57.
22:40Speed demons. Ben,
22:42can I just say when the light hit your face,
22:44absolute delightful skin,
22:46what's your skincare routine?
22:48It's good, eh? Yeah, what is your routine?
22:50For an 80 year old man.
22:52Um, water?
22:54Yeah.
22:56Okay, I can't wait to watch
22:58more comedians screw up some paper planes
23:00and throw them in a bin. Don't turn
23:02the TV off now or you'll be throwing your life
23:04in the bin. More Taskmaster
23:06after this.
23:14Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:16Before the break, our comedians were told
23:18to blindly follow Paul's
23:20instructions, something nobody
23:22should ever do in real life.
23:24Who's next then, Paul? Ben and
23:26Abby set some very fast times.
23:28Will these three copy that?
23:30It's Tom, Tofinga, and Hayley.
23:32Over and out. Construct a paper
23:34plane and take it to the balcony.
23:36Sierra.
23:38Scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.
23:40Ben and Abby,
23:42scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.
23:44Foxtrot. Alpha.
23:46Bar.
23:48Sierra.
23:50Fastest wins. Tango.
23:52Tango. Echo.
23:54Echo. Sierra.
23:56Tango.
23:58Tango. Whiskey.
24:02Whiskey.
24:04Lima.
24:06Lima.
24:08Oscar.
24:10Sierra.
24:12Sierra.
24:14Thank God I stayed.
24:16Echo.
24:18Sierra.
24:20Fastest loses.
24:22Time to go.
24:24Slowly.
24:26So the fastest loses. Yeah.
24:28What am I missing? Hi.
24:34Oh no.
24:36I've stopped the clock. Sorry, just wait here for a bit.
24:38So you're taking your time? Yeah.
24:40That makes sense. Nice day,
24:42isn't it? Really nice.
24:44Perfect landing. Thank you, but I should
24:46have gone and had a beer or something. Like, I was
24:48too fast. Timer's still going?
24:50Yeah. Alright.
24:52I might as well try and make it an interesting way
24:54of getting it in the bin.
24:58You just kick it into the gutter?
25:00Might have to make a new plane. Okay.
25:02The vegetarian option's unbelievable.
25:04That's chicken. That's a chicken? Yeah.
25:06Oh, man.
25:08I thought it was a cucumber.
25:10So when do you think you'll put the...
25:12I'll do it later, bro. Oh, you want to do it later?
25:14I'm going to have to win this one.
25:22Okay, Paul.
25:24It is now time.
25:28And all I've got to do is just put it in.
25:30Mmm. Think it's long enough?
25:36Easy.
25:38Stop the clock.
25:40I reckon I've won this one.
25:44If I remember these on this episode,
25:46will you remember the bin? I'll remember the bin.
25:48We'll just pause here for now, then.
25:50I'll keep the clock going. Over and out.
25:52Over and out.
25:58Abby and Ben, how do you feel now?
26:00A little bit silly, Jeremy.
26:02I still think Tom was faster.
26:04I'm arguably the biggest idiot of them all.
26:08You actually are.
26:10I figured it out, and then I did it anyway.
26:12Yeah.
26:14So Tom was 24 seconds faster than Ben.
26:24It was so strange, Barbara,
26:26to see Tofinga do really, really well
26:28at a task like this.
26:30To do really, really well at a task
26:32that you had to do really slowly.
26:36So surprising.
26:38He's currently winning it, unless Hayley can
26:40complete the task.
26:42Do you have a bin? I do have the bin.
26:44Yeah, I just need to finish my task now.
26:46I'll bring you the bin.
26:50Thank you. I know this is a huge pain in the balls.
27:01I have stopped the clock.
27:03The time to be slower than
27:05was Tofinga's time
27:07of 69 days, 2 hours,
27:0941 minutes and 10 seconds.
27:11Hayley has just come in.
27:13101 days, 7 hours
27:15and 16 minutes.
27:19That will mean
27:211 point for Abby, 2 points for Tom,
27:233 points for Ben, 4 points for Tofinga
27:25and 5 points for Hayley.
27:28OK.
27:30I'm ready for another task, PW.
27:32It's time for another task.
27:34You should enjoy this one for the length it takes
27:36you to sing Happy Birthday twice.
27:46Hi. Hello Tom.
27:48Hello Tofinga. Paul.
27:50Hello Abby. Hello Paul.
27:52A pleasure to see you again. Likewise.
27:54Where's the envelope?
27:56Envelopes never come in here. Envelopes.
27:58What's happening?
28:00What am I meant to do?
28:02Oh, just the task.
28:04Oh, I know where it is.
28:06Oh, mama mia.
28:10Got a good feeling about this one, brother.
28:12OK, here we go.
28:14Make soap.
28:16Best soap wins.
28:18You've 29 seconds to order your ingredients.
28:20And 20 minutes
28:22to make the soap.
28:24The soap starts now.
28:26OK, so I need a fat.
28:28What kind of fat?
28:30Vegetable fat or animal fat.
28:32I would like coconut oil, please.
28:34Lemon.
28:36Some soap from the supermarket.
28:38A bar of soap.
28:40Like a sweet essence of some description.
28:42It can just be specific.
28:44Peach.
28:46Some salt.
28:48Shea butter.
28:50Peppermint.
28:52Bananas. Oats.
28:54Saffron. Rainflakes.
28:56Your time starts now.
28:58Make soap.
29:00OK.
29:02Make soap.
29:04Make soap.
29:06So what's soap made out of?
29:08Fat. Soap's made out of fat.
29:10You've got 15 seconds.
29:12To order the ingredients? Yes.
29:14Oh, from you? Yes. 10 seconds.
29:16I need fat and I need...
29:18What fat?
29:20And some food colouring.
29:22Some pink food colouring.
29:26I think that's all I need.
29:28I think I just churn it or something.
29:30Or is that butter? Oh my God. I don't know.
29:36I want to make it very clear
29:38that if anyone makes soap with soap,
29:40there's no points.
29:42No points. So a few people did order soap.
29:44I saw that.
29:46I think keep an open mind, Jeremy.
29:48Hey, let's let
29:50the taskmaster do his job, shall we?
29:52OK, Paul.
29:54Whose soap making are we going to see first?
29:56These three were named after the final
29:58stage of the hand washing process.
30:00It's Abbey Towels,
30:02Hayley Towel and Taufinga
30:04Fepuleai.
30:06Oh, my ingredients.
30:08Wonderful.
30:10I knew I should have gone to my science classes.
30:12Any of the classes really.
30:14I should have gone to school for
30:16school soap.
30:18I put in too many oats.
30:20You can never have too many oats.
30:22Totes. Maybe that's the name of the bar.
30:24Totes Oats Soap.
30:26I've got saffron for elegance
30:28and that touch of luxury.
30:30You usually put a teaspoon
30:32in there. And what that helps is
30:34it actually eutrophies it into
30:36particles. Also, there's
30:38scientific terms you're probably not familiar with.
30:40Peppermint essential oils.
30:42I feel like no one
30:44genuinely needs to know that I've grated soap into
30:46the soap. The majority of it is shea butter.
30:48So you want us to edit that out?
30:50Yes, please. Okay.
30:54That's some clean money, I
30:56think.
30:58I sort
31:00of have just made oats.
31:02You've just got
31:04to let it sit. Just a couple of minutes.
31:06I think that's quite good.
31:08Get it in the freezer.
31:14I guarantee you
31:16every bottle of soap
31:18that you buy from me
31:20has a $20 bill in it.
31:22What is the smell of your soap?
31:24What does it smell like you?
31:26Like a 13-year-old boy.
31:28How do you know what a 13-year-old boy smells like?
31:30It's probably set now, eh?
31:32Oh, gosh. Okay.
31:36Oh, my gosh.
31:38It's beautiful.
31:41WHISTLE BLOWS
31:43Thank you, Toffinger.
31:45I love every moment
31:47by soap.
32:05APPLAUSE
32:08Baba,
32:10can you please explain to me
32:12what Toffinger meant when he said,
32:14and I quote,
32:16it lefrigitises into proticles.
32:18Just like when your
32:20phoreticus is mokariki,
32:22it falls apart.
32:24So what he did was put it together.
32:26Makes sense.
32:28Shall we talk about Hayley's soap?
32:30Recycled soap with a climate lens.
32:32But you'll feel your hands
32:34are softer than... Feel his hands.
32:36...before, the oats and the shea butter.
32:38Oh, like you haven't
32:40done this before. Come on.
32:42They are very soft.
32:44Very soft, right? Also very sweaty.
32:46APPLAUSE
32:54It's been quite the show for us.
32:56It's been quite the show.
32:58Abby, you had money in yours.
33:00You cannot think of a bad thing
33:02to say about my soap.
33:04Yeah,
33:06OK, we're in agreement for once.
33:08And there was no blood in it.
33:10I didn't mention murder or dying in childbirth
33:12one time. I was so good.
33:14The only thing that was massacred
33:16was bacteria. Yeah, exactly, Ben.
33:18OK, more soap
33:20when we come back after these ads,
33:22at least one of which will probably
33:24be about soap.
33:26We'll see you soon.
33:28APPLAUSE
33:34APPLAUSE
33:38Welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:40What's happening, Paul?
33:42Our contestants are making soap
33:44using unique and inventive ingredients
33:46like soap.
33:48Wait,
33:50Ben, what's your skincare routine?
33:52Actually,
33:54here's a lot of pink fat.
33:56I'm very much looking forward to just seeing
33:58your pink fat.
34:00Buy me a drink first.
34:02LAUGHTER
34:04What is this?
34:06You always had so many bits of, like, food in it.
34:08Might as well put ketchup in there,
34:10mustard, old mustard hands.
34:12All right, pink fat.
34:14I'm ready for more soap, Paul.
34:16Who have we got next? They're the two
34:18contestants who requested B-Fat,
34:20and one of them requested almost nothing else.
34:22It's Tom and Ben.
34:24Oh!
34:26Hi, Tom. Here we go, perfect.
34:28This is us.
34:30That's pretty good.
34:32Yeah.
34:34I couldn't find peach essence,
34:36so I got peach vape juice.
34:38Oh, it smells so good.
34:40So, I think you just, like, get this to a certain temperature,
34:42and it, like, reduces for ages,
34:44then you put some colour in.
34:46This smells so bad,
34:48but anyway, there we go.
34:50It sounds and smells like a fish and chip shop in here.
34:52Look at that. This is genius.
34:54Dying for a vape, though.
34:56Unscented, hypoallergenic
34:58Now I'm just going to put this in the freezer and hope for the best.
35:00You've got six and a half minutes.
35:02Go! Set! Be soap!
35:04Ah!
35:08It's not long until the Warriors start playing again.
35:10You know what?
35:12Some fat's dropped onto the bottom of the freezer.
35:14Guess what it smells like?
35:16Peach?
35:18You got it!
35:20It does smell like peach.
35:22What? I've made soap.
35:24OK.
35:26Nothing's happened.
35:28I'm being honest with you, Paul.
35:30I don't think this is soap.
35:32What is it?
35:34Cold pink fat.
35:36OK, thank you, Ben.
35:38Thanks.
35:40Yay!
35:58I've got to say, Ben,
36:00I think that totes oats soap
36:02might sell a little bit more than
36:04cold pink fat.
36:06But how popular were you on the way home
36:08with dogs?
36:10Tom, you actually
36:12accidentally made soap.
36:14And it was kind of a heart shape to celebrate
36:16obviously what's going on here.
36:20So, who used soap
36:22in their soaps? Two people.
36:24Tofinga, obviously.
36:26And Hayley did great. A little bit of
36:28soap. Tiny, tiny.
36:30But unfortunately, no points for either of you guys.
36:32Jeremy!
36:34Three points for that horrific
36:36stuff right there.
36:38That is insanity!
36:40Four points for
36:42Abby with the liquid soap with the 20 bucks
36:44in it. And five points for Tom's
36:46accidental soap that he made.
36:48No, I'm not having
36:50it.
36:52OK, this is unconventional, Paul.
36:54But I'd like to have a
36:56sneaky fourth
36:58proper task in here if we can.
37:00You're a rebel and that's what I love
37:02about you.
37:04Here's another task. It's time
37:06to face the music.
37:18Hello Tofinga. Hey Paul.
37:20Feeling good?
37:22Feeling good. OK.
37:24Make a new musical instrument.
37:26It must be playable and smaller than a dog.
37:28You have 30 minutes.
37:30Your time starts now.
37:32I'm just going to grab
37:34everything and bring it down. What do you mean everything?
37:36My crafts.
37:44Right, so whose instrument are we
37:46going to look at first? The whole band's
37:48back together. Here's everyone.
37:50Get down, boy.
37:52Get down. Why'd you say that?
37:54Just to show you that this is an Irish
37:56wolfhound. Oh, like one standing up?
37:58Yeah. Do you know
38:00what this is? What?
38:02A panjo.
38:04It's really good. I just need a comb.
38:06A comb? Comb and tissues.
38:08What about some kind of hat?
38:10You know how Australians
38:12have a cork hat? OK, so this
38:14is my centrepiece and my muse.
38:16It's a poor man's instrument.
38:18My uncle used to play it all the time.
38:20If I could get that in there.
38:22Careful not to stab yourself.
38:24Yeah.
38:26Yeah.
38:28You know what you'd play on a panjo?
38:30What? Walk and roll.
38:32He's on fire.
38:40So what's actually happening? Because it seems
38:42like you're just making the noise with your mouth.
38:44The top part is for the lower notes.
38:48And the other part's the higher notes.
38:52That's quite good.
38:54I think this is like
38:56a cursed instrument.
38:58Like when I put this on,
39:00I'm going to completely change.
39:02Whoa.
39:08OK, I think this is it.
39:10Does this instrument have a name?
39:12The Paul Demonium Tree.
39:14The Red Death. The Mellow
39:16Capello.
39:18It's the Comb Tissue.
39:20The what? Comb Tissue.
39:22Comb Tissue.
39:26Being out
39:28pungu there, that was amazing.
39:30One day you guys should go away for the weekend
39:32and just pun together.
39:34Jealous, are we?
39:36Yeah, wow.
39:38What a cuck.
39:46So here's some still images.
39:48Oh my goodness, Abby, what have you done there?
39:50You've got to love
39:52me for who I am.
39:54And to finger the Comb Tissue.
39:56Sorry, what's it called?
39:58The Comb Tissue.
40:00For some reason I thought he said the Cum Tissue.
40:04Tom Sainsbury.
40:06Sorry.
40:08So do you want to score them, Jeremy?
40:10I would love to score them, but
40:12I actually probably want to hear them first.
40:14And we have one thrilling part to go,
40:16so stay tuned.
40:24Good
40:26honour,
40:28welcome back to Taskmaster.
40:30As some people call it, New Zealand
40:32doesn't have talent. We're nearing the end
40:34of the episode.
40:36Paul, could you give us a scoreboard
40:38update, please? Abby's in
40:40second with 13, but in first
40:42with a three-point lead, it's Tom Sainsbury.
40:44Okay, the stakes are
40:46high. Get on stage, everyone,
40:48for the live task.
40:54Oh, I like the look of this, Paul. Who's going to read out
40:56the task tonight? Tom Sainsbury.
40:58Ooh. Congrats.
41:00Thanks.
41:02On your original instrument, perform
41:04a solo with this jazz band.
41:06Best solo
41:08wins. Your solo must last for
41:1015 seconds.
41:12Come on.
41:14Take it away, fellas.
41:20Please welcome to the stage, on his
41:22banjo, it's Ben Hurley.
41:46Give it up for Ben Hurley, everybody.
41:48Please welcome
41:50to the stage, on the mellow
41:52capello, it's Hayley
41:54Sprouse.
41:56One,
41:58two,
42:00a-scoop-a-doop-a-doop.
42:18Hayley Sprouse,
42:20mellow capello.
42:22Please welcome to the stage,
42:24on the
42:26poldemonium tree, it's Tom
42:28Sainsbury.
42:46Tom Sainsbury.
42:50Up next,
42:52on the comb tissue,
42:54it's Bubba.
42:56Take it away.
43:16Bubba, everybody,
43:18on the comb tissue.
43:20And last but not least,
43:22on the rib diff,
43:24it's Abby Howells.
43:40She's lost the body thing.
43:44Somebody
43:46stop her.
43:49Okay.
43:55Now bring it home, everybody.
44:13Come on down, and we'll score
44:15another round of applause for our musical
44:17comedian.
44:23That was impressive, I really enjoyed
44:25that. It's going to be, oh goodness
44:27me, there's that death mask again.
44:29I can't take it off.
44:31Okay, I'm going to have to score this.
44:33One for you, Hayley.
44:35Outrageous.
44:37Two for Ben with the panjo.
44:39The only actual instrument.
44:41Three for the death mask, and the performance
44:43on the death mask I thought was particularly good.
44:45Four for Tom.
44:47And I'm going to go five for Bubba.
44:51You have lost your mind.
44:57It's over. He's lost it.
44:59Before you announce the winner of
45:01Ep 7, how are
45:03we looking for the whole series?
45:05In first equal, both on
45:07107, it's Hayley and Tom.
45:11So very close.
45:13A huge turnaround
45:15for Tom Sainsbury, who has also
45:17won the episode with 20 points.
45:21Congratulations, Tom.
45:23You are now the proud owner of five
45:25delightful items from sketchy places.
45:27Please go and collect your items, and
45:29remember that if police ask you where you
45:31got them from, you know absolutely nothing.
45:37Another episode down, and we've learnt
45:39more than ever before.
45:41We learnt never to assume the end
45:43of the task. We learnt that
45:45fat might be one ingredient in soap,
45:47but probably shouldn't be the only
45:49ingredient. And most
45:51importantly, we've learnt that Tom
45:53Sainsbury is the winner of Episode
45:557!
45:57See you next time. Ka kite anō.
46:11Television has absolutely peaked.
46:13See what this show does to you?
46:15Makes you completely paranoid about everything.
46:17No need to be paranoid.
46:21Getting quite good at doing well in tasks,
46:23but you have no idea what's going on.