Taskmaster NZ S05E07
Taskmaster NZ S05E07
Taskmaster NZ S05E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x94qmkw
Taskmaster NZ S05E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x94qmkw
Transcript
00:00Hello.
00:01And...
00:02Two!
00:03Come on!
00:04Woo-hoo!
00:05That's for the haters.
00:06Come here.
00:07Come here.
00:08Jiggle-biddle-chee!
00:09Oh!
00:10Oh!
00:11Oh!
00:12Oh!
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00:57Oh!
00:59Tonight, these five clowns, jesters, and downright desperadoes
01:04will perform a series of tasks hoping to impress me
01:08and get their hands on this.
01:11And tonight competing for this priceless trophy
01:15are Abbey Howells,
01:17Ben Hurley,
01:20Hailey Sproul,
01:24and Tom Sainsbury.
01:28And standing in for Tofingafepulea'i, ladies and gentlemen, Baa Baa!
01:36And here on my left is my right-hand man, ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams!
01:45Are we ready for the prize task?
01:47Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in
01:50the most delightful package from the sketchiest place.
01:53OK, Ben Hurley, you seem like the kind of person who's visited a few sketchy places in your time.
02:00What have you brought in?
02:02Well, Jeremy, I used to work for a sketchy place called TV3.
02:11Oh, shots fired!
02:14I was 22 years of age and I stole the dot from the TV3 sign.
02:19Wow.
02:25I've had this in my possession for over 20 years.
02:28It's one of my proudest possessions but I'm willing to put it up tonight.
02:32Where do you keep it at home?
02:34Oh, in a box.
02:37OK, Hayley, what did you bring in?
02:39I thought of one of my favourite packages of all time
02:43and so I got a sketchy done of Jason Mamoa's package.
02:49This is, I've actually scanned it because the original is in my bedroom on Aaron's side.
02:55OK, so is that so you, when you lean across you sort of...
02:58So when I turn to him and say like, I love you, the eye line is similar.
03:04Baba, you are in here for Tofinga, what have you brought in?
03:08Yeah, probably stuffed it up already.
03:10I've brought in a sketchy package from a good place.
03:14So, in Samoan culture, when you're dealing with money
03:17we give envelopes with the name on it.
03:19So I've brought in an envelope with my name on it but inside...
03:27An invitation to an investigation meeting.
03:30Yeah, from my old job when I got snapped drinking wine.
03:35Years ago, years ago, last year.
03:40The best thing I think about this is that it's incident one,
03:43which says to me that there's more incidents than one.
03:47I like to leave things to the imagination.
03:51Tom.
03:54OK, so my local fish and chippery, it's a sketchy place because it's got a D rating.
04:01They do a mean spring roll and mean chips.
04:05There we go, there's the spring roll.
04:07Is that a spring roll?
04:10That's a D rated spring roll, I'll tell you now.
04:12And also, if you want to catch up on Brad and Jennifer's divorce,
04:17they've got the magazines for you.
04:21Abby, what did you bring in?
04:22Well, I also went to a sketchy place, aka an art studio,
04:28and I had something commissioned.
04:31This delightful package.
04:43Where's your hand?
04:52Yeah, I know.
04:53He's rounding second base, I'll tell you.
04:56What's happening?
04:56What's happening in Paul's downstairs?
04:58What is that?
04:59Well, you know what's happening.
05:03You said for this.
05:04Five points, Abby.
05:05Yeah, Jeremy, we're back, baby.
05:11One point for Ben Hurley.
05:13Oh, come on.
05:14That's my least favourite part of the TV3 logo, that red dot.
05:19Also, Bubba's made no sense because she got the thing around the wrong way as well.
05:22So two points for Bubba.
05:24Three points for Hayley.
05:26I don't know if you've noticed, but Hayley's got a red dot on her face.
05:29So two points for Bubba.
05:32Three points for Hayley and Jason Momoa's package.
05:36And four points for Tom and the fish and chips.
05:41Okay, Paul, I am ready for my first proper task of the show.
05:45Bad luck comes in threes.
05:48Incredible feats come in tens.
05:56Knock, knock.
05:57Who's there?
05:59Tom.
05:59Tom who?
06:00Tom Sainsbury.
06:01Hey, Peter.
06:02Hello, BH.
06:03I've got a task for you, Tiffany.
06:06I have a task for you.
06:07Oh, that makes sense.
06:09Do the most incredible...
06:09Here's your task.
06:11Here's your task, Abby.
06:12Thank you, Paul.
06:13I have a task for you.
06:14God, that's...
06:15Yeah.
06:15It's the same thing, but...
06:17Let's do the most incredible...
06:17Your task, Tom.
06:18Okay, great.
06:19Imagine your wheelie bin at the end of the week.
06:21Here's your task, Abby.
06:22Oh, no, no, no, thank you.
06:26I have a task for you.
06:27You didn't mean ten.
06:28Do the most incredible thing ten times.
06:32Most incredible thing done ten times wins.
06:35You have 45 minutes.
06:36Your time starts now.
06:43I'm ready for five incredible things ten times.
06:47Who are we seeing first?
06:48They're both certified tens.
06:50It's Ben and Abby.
06:52I can do a handspring.
06:54Well, not really.
06:55I can do, like, a cartwheel handspring.
06:57It's pretty incredible.
06:58Yeah, like, do that ten times.
07:00Well, it'd be pretty incredible if I did, like,
07:03sick parkour stunts.
07:05Okay, I'm going to attempt to do ten in a row
07:09with added little things in the middle.
07:13One.
07:18Two.
07:22One.
07:23Two.
07:25That went in.
07:27Three.
07:30Four.
07:31Three.
07:33Four.
07:35Four.
07:36Wait, what's this?
07:38Oh, my God.
07:40It's a letter from the captain of the Titanic.
07:42That's an incredible find.
07:44What does it say?
07:46Oh, my God.
07:51Five.
07:52It'd be wild if I found nine more incredible artifacts.
07:55Whoa, Paul.
07:59Wait, where did I put it?
08:02It's a kiwi.
08:02Yeah.
08:04Whoa, Paul, look at this.
08:07It's a little kiwi, a brand new species.
08:10That's incredible.
08:12Not very good to go.
08:14Six.
08:18Oh, so close.
08:20Why did I put this one in?
08:22This is the key to the vault.
08:25In the Tower of London.
08:26This is the cutlass of the world's most famous pirate.
08:29Aladdin's lamp.
08:30This is the childhood artifact of Queen Victoria.
08:34It's the sands of father time.
08:36It's counting down from when we'll all die.
08:40Yes.
08:41Seven.
08:45Eight.
08:51Nine.
08:52Another discovery.
08:54Well, how many is that?
08:56It's heaps.
09:01And ten.
09:03It's a skeleton of Jean-Pierre.
09:07Nobody knew where his body ended up.
09:09It's a message in a bottle.
09:11It's another message from the Captain of the Titanic.
09:14It says, I like pizza pie.
09:17Incredible.
09:18Abbey, I think it speaks to the different minds of our comedians here on Taskmaster
09:27that you started off doing 10 incredible parkour moves and ended up finding 10 artifacts.
09:34Identifying 10 incredible artifacts.
09:38Because to the average person, that just would have been a bottle.
09:41But I looked at it and I said, I know this is from the Captain of the Titanic.
09:45Yeah, so you found out that he actually sunk the Titanic on purpose.
09:49And?
09:50And he likes piss plates.
09:53Ben Hurley was pretty incredible.
09:54I mean, for a 115 kg, 48 year old man,
10:02you move very well.
10:03A little bit of spice added to those numbers.
10:06But I kind of feel like you undid your good work with the flips
10:10with some really ordinary work in the other bit.
10:13Look, the 10 incredible things were the handsprings.
10:16I was just adding a little bit of extra for experts.
10:18I was impressed.
10:20Especially for a 120 kg, 59 year old man.
10:24A burly unit like you, a big unit like you.
10:27No, I'm a 60 year old, 400 kilogram man.
10:33All right, 20 incredible actions down.
10:3530 more to go.
10:37We'll see you after these incredible ads.
10:43Welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:45Before the break, we were watching our comedians try to perform
10:48one incredible task 10 times in a row.
10:52So far, we've seen Ben do a bunch of flips
10:54and Abby showed us a bunch of crap she'd chucked in the woods.
10:59Who have we got next, Paul?
11:02He's the most far right comedian on the show.
11:05He's got a great sense of humour.
11:07He's got a great sense of humour.
11:09He's got a great sense of humour.
11:11He's the most far right comedian on the show
11:14in terms of where he's sitting and his political beliefs.
11:18It's Tom Sainsbury.
11:20What is incredible?
11:21When I say incredible, you think...
11:24No.
11:25Should I do that to you?
11:26Yeah.
11:27When I say incredible, you think...
11:29Time travel.
11:32Whoa.
11:32Okay, Paul, I'm off to time travel to 10 different eras
11:36in my incredible time machine.
11:41Oh, my God.
11:49I just killed a T-Rex.
11:51And you brought back its feet.
11:52Yeah.
11:53Seems kind of inhumane.
11:55It does.
11:55I'm regretting it now.
11:56Put up a good fight.
11:59I guess that's how dinosaurs really went out.
12:03Hunted by time travellers.
12:04Oh, Paul.
12:06I just went and told Mary that she's pregnant.
12:08Wow.
12:09She took the news remarkably well.
12:12Oh, my God.
12:13I just went and fought in the Crusades.
12:15There you go.
12:16There's a memento.
12:18Oh, boy.
12:19Oh, I just went and made love to Jesse James.
12:21Congrats.
12:23Too many beans.
12:25Oh, I just went and arrested Jack the Ripper.
12:27You will not believe who it is.
12:29Who is it?
12:29I can't say.
12:30I'm sworn to secrecy.
12:31Oh, my gosh.
12:33That was amazing.
12:34I've just been partying at Woodstock.
12:36Groovy.
12:37Oh, that was amazing.
12:38I just went and hung out with Prince, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper.
12:42Wow.
12:45I've just been to 2025.
12:48Good news?
12:49Do you have any kind of
12:51dictatory, totalitarian tendencies, Paul?
12:54Not that I know of, but...
12:56Oh.
12:57Oh, God.
12:59I've just been to the future.
13:00What's it like?
13:01There's lots of laughing.
13:03Like live action role play.
13:04Oh, is that what you're doing?
13:05Yeah, yeah.
13:06Tom, is that you?
13:06I've just come from the distant future, or the distant past,
13:10where only amoebas live.
13:15Oh.
13:16Yeah, just making sure I'm back in the present.
13:18I'll do whatever you want, any of your bidding.
13:21Okay.
13:22Oh, overlord.
13:24Thank you, Tom.
13:25Thank you, Paul.
13:26So, we should probably discuss the Crusades.
13:32Yes.
13:32Controversial.
13:33The Crusades.
13:34Yes.
13:35Controversial.
13:36Which side did you fight on?
13:38The Christian side or the Muslim side?
13:41Wow.
13:45Do you want to just distance yourself from him?
13:47We're just going to move over here.
13:49I was more there, kind of.
13:50I was more of a pilferer.
13:54Any side, I'll take any of those.
13:58Paul, I am ready for another incredible thing.
14:00How about 20 more incredible things?
14:03Here's Hayley Antelfinger.
14:05Most incredible thing.
14:07Got a piano?
14:08Like a keyboard, yeah?
14:09Yep.
14:10You'll play it 10 times?
14:1110 times.
14:12I'm quite good at parallel parking.
14:14That's pretty incredible.
14:15Here's the first song.
14:23It's quite incredible because it's a duet, two people.
14:25I'm playing it by myself.
14:27Just pretend this is like a busy inner city street,
14:30and I've been circling the block for hours.
14:32Oh look, there's a park.
14:34One.
14:45What's another style you want?
14:46See if we can get 10 styles, eh?
14:48Jazz.
14:52Oh my god, biology's starting.
14:53Oh my god, my grandfather's going to be so upset.
14:56I'm a bit out, but for a funeral I'd say that's good.
14:59What's another style you want?
15:00Blues?
15:04Oh god, look, here's a park.
15:07Oh my god, fantastic.
15:09Oh, that's great.
15:12Hamlet's ready.
15:16Sorry I'm late.
15:17It's not really acceptable, you're so late.
15:19No, no, let me just park.
15:21I'm here, I'm here, I'm sorry.
15:22It's a good park, but I've been here for three hours.
15:24It was an incredible park.
15:30I'm from Yugoslavia.
15:32Oh my gosh.
15:33Thank you, sir.
15:34Thank you so much.
15:35Welcome to New Zealand.
15:39You stupid boy, you stay there.
15:41Don't move, fool.
15:42Wait till you move to a parallel park.
15:44Get in the car.
15:50Okay.
15:53Here we go.
15:55Ma'am, I don't think you should be behind a wheel.
15:57That's 10 styles, eh?
15:59I don't think that's 10.
16:03Is that one?
16:04Yeah, we'll make that one then.
16:07Oh god, I'm going to have to parallel park.
16:10Oh my god, a baby's coming out.
16:17Incredible.
16:18This is a horror one.
16:24And then I cut your head off.
16:26Mom, Dad, when this car stops, a bomb is going to go off.
16:30But I can't keep driving forever.
16:32This is it.
16:33What are you doing?
16:34Don't park.
16:35Goodbye, Paul.
16:42Oh, look at it, Paul.
16:45One more.
16:46This was Mozart's final piece before he died.
16:49Okay.
16:51Okay.
17:01You could have made it a little bit more difficult by perhaps putting the other cars a little
17:04closer together.
17:05And that was a giant parallel park.
17:06You can see it in this, but each time we made the gap smaller and smaller.
17:09But I'm glad that we actually focused on the character work.
17:14Not to be a snitch, but Hayley did nine parks.
17:20That's actually, um, bullshit, Paul.
17:25Well, I mean, we showed them all and there were nine.
17:28Well, then count my characters.
17:30Well, again, nine.
17:34Baba, did you know Tufinga could play the piano like that?
17:37Hell yeah.
17:38He's raised in the church.
17:40His whole body moved more than he has in this entire season of Taskmaster.
17:44It's just with his fingers there moving.
17:46Are you mocking my friend?
17:48No.
17:50He's really enjoyed making Paul move quite a lot so far.
17:54Good. It's about time you moved.
17:57And I was moved by the quality of his piano playing.
18:01Same. It was so good.
18:03Like every song that he did, all ten of them.
18:12So how do you want to score it?
18:14Normally, I would disqualify Hayley for not completing the task properly.
18:17I'll give you a point for that.
18:18Thank you, Jeremy.
18:20Two for Ben.
18:21Because, no, I thought the flips were amazing,
18:23but I think you undid them with every move that you did in between it.
18:27Abby, three points for you,
18:29because I learned some interesting things about the Captain of the Titanic with the piss play.
18:33Four points for Tufinga, because impressive piano play from him.
18:37And five points for Tom Sainsbury, Time Traveling.
18:45So should we look at the scoreboard?
18:47Currently out in first with nine points.
18:49It's Tom Sainsbury.
18:55Okay, let's keep things moving.
18:56Paul, what have you got for me?
18:58Bravo, Charlie.
18:59Take off your uniform and pour yourself a kilo of whiskey
19:02at the Foxtrot Golf Hotel in India.
19:15Paul?
19:17I see a task.
19:20Paul's not here.
19:22Follow Paul's instructions.
19:23You may tell him to stop or ask him to start again.
19:28Hello, Paul.
19:29Hello, Paul.
19:30I'm ready for some instructions.
19:34Charlie.
19:35Oscar.
19:36Hey, Oscar.
19:37Do you know where Paul is?
19:39November.
19:40January, February, March.
19:42Sierra.
19:44Tango.
19:45Okay, quick show of hands.
19:48Who knows the NATO alphabet?
19:51Of course.
19:52Of course.
19:54No one else?
19:55I know bits of it.
19:56I probably know most of it.
19:57They've had sex, Jeremy.
20:00I've had Sierra Echo Xylophone.
20:04I've had a fun time with my dad in the garage.
20:09I mean, oh my god.
20:11I'm sorry.
20:12Oh my god.
20:13I'm sorry.
20:14Sorry.
20:15Learning the codes.
20:19Okay, who are we going to see tackle the task first, Paul?
20:23Once again, up first we have Bravo Echo November
20:26and Alpha Bravo Bravo Yankee.
20:29Charlie.
20:30Yeah, see.
20:32Oscar.
20:34November.
20:36Sierra.
20:37Yes.
20:38Tango.
20:39Const.
20:40Romeo.
20:41R.
20:42Uniform.
20:43Yep.
20:44Charlie.
20:46Okay, yep.
20:48Tango.
20:49Construct.
20:50Alpha.
20:52A.
20:52Papa.
20:53Alpha.
20:54Papa.
20:55P-A-P.
20:55Echo.
20:56It's going to be paper.
20:57Romeo.
20:58Yep, it's way ahead of you there.
21:00Papa.
21:01Lima.
21:02Alpha.
21:03Plane, paper plane.
21:04November.
21:06Echo.
21:07Alpha.
21:08November.
21:09Delta.
21:11D.
21:12Tango.
21:13India.
21:14Bravo.
21:15Yankee.
21:16Sierra.
21:17Alpha.
21:17Tango.
21:18India.
21:19Bravo.
21:21Foxtrot.
21:22Alpha.
21:23Sierra.
21:25Tango.
21:26Fastest wins.
21:26Echo.
21:28Sierra.
21:29You can stop.
21:32Not very good at planes.
21:41I've stopped the clock.
21:49Thank you, Ben.
21:50Do you think anyone will beat that?
21:52Wouldn't have thought so.
21:53You'll see it, but actually I figured it out before you even finished.
22:02That is the most bored I've ever seen a contestant on the show, Ben.
22:07What they didn't show was Paul had to restart three times.
22:11So I was a bit bored by the end.
22:12It was impressive though.
22:13No pen straight off the top of the dome.
22:16Nah, must have not been hung over that day.
22:19Abby, you didn't lose focus for a second.
22:21You were right on the task there by the looks of it.
22:23Yeah, it's not often you feel, oh, I'm actually doing well here.
22:27And a dangerous train of thoughts.
22:30Okay, but how long did it take Abby and Ben to put the plane in the bin?
22:34Ben, 10 minutes and 22 seconds.
22:37Abby, 6 minutes 57.
22:40Speed demons.
22:42Ben, can I just say when the light hit your face,
22:45absolute delightful skin.
22:46What's your skincare routine?
22:48Yeah, it's good, eh?
22:49Yeah, what is your routine?
22:50For an 80 year old man.
22:53Um, water.
22:56Okay, I can't wait to watch more comedians screw up some paper planes and throw them in a bin.
23:01Don't turn the TV off now or you'll be throwing your life in the bin.
23:05More Taskmaster after this.
23:09Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:21Before the break, our comedians were told to blindly follow Paul's instructions.
23:26Something nobody should ever do in real life.
23:29Who's next then, Paul?
23:30Ben and Abby set some very fast times.
23:33Will these three copy that?
23:35It's Tom, Tofinga and Hayley.
23:37Over and out.
23:38Construct a paper plane and take it to the balcony.
23:41Sierra.
23:42Scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.
23:44Foxtrot.
23:46Alpha.
23:47Ba.
23:48Sierra.
23:50Fastest wins.
23:51Tango.
23:52Tango.
23:53Eco.
23:54Eco.
23:56Sierra.
23:57Tango.
23:58Tango.
23:59Whiskey.
24:02Whiskey.
24:04Lima.
24:06Lima.
24:09Oscar.
24:12Sierra.
24:14Thank god I stayed.
24:16Eco.
24:18Sierra.
24:19Fastest loses.
24:22Time to go.
24:25Slowly.
24:26So the fastest loses?
24:27Yeah.
24:28What am I missing?
24:29Hi.
24:33Oh no.
24:35I've stopped the clock.
24:36Sorry, just wait here for a bit.
24:38So you're taking your time?
24:40Yeah.
24:40That makes sense.
24:42Nice day, isn't it?
24:43Really nice.
24:44Perfect landing.
24:45Thank you, but I should have gone and had a beer or something.
24:47Like, I was too fast.
24:49Timer's still going?
24:51Yeah.
24:51All right.
24:52I might as well try and make it an interesting way of getting it in the bin.
24:58You just kick it into the gutter?
25:00Might have to make a new plane.
25:01Okay.
25:02The vegetarian option's unbelievable.
25:04That's chicken.
25:05That's a chicken?
25:05Yeah.
25:06Oh, fool me.
25:08I thought it was a cucumber.
25:10So when do you think you'll put the...
25:12I'll do it later, bro.
25:13Oh, you want to do it later?
25:14I'm going to have to win this one.
25:23Okay, Paul.
25:24It is now time.
25:28And all I've got to do is just put it in.
25:30Mm-hmm.
25:31You think it's long enough?
25:36Easy.
25:38Stop the clock.
25:39I reckon I've won this one.
25:43If I remember these on this episode, will you remember the bin?
25:47I'll remember the bin.
25:48We'll just pause here for now, then.
25:50I'll keep the clock going.
25:51Over and out.
25:52Over and out.
25:58Abby and Ben, how do you feel now?
26:01A little bit silly, Jeremy.
26:03I still think Tom was faster.
26:06I'm arguably the biggest idiot of them all.
26:11You actually are.
26:12I figured it out, and then I did it anyway.
26:16So Tom was 24 seconds faster than Ben.
26:27It was so strange, Barbara, to see Tofinga do
26:31really, really well at a task that you had to do really slowly.
26:35So surprising.
26:37He's currently winning it, unless Hayley can complete the task.
26:41Do you have a bin?
26:42I do have the bin.
26:43Yeah, I just need to finish my task now.
26:46I'll bring you the bin.
26:50I know this is a huge pain in the balls, but...
26:59There you go.
27:02I have stopped the clock.
27:03The time to be slower than was Tofinga's time of 69 days, 2 hours, 41 minutes and 10 seconds.
27:12Hayley has just come in 101 days, 7 hours and 16 minutes.
27:18Yes, that will mean one point for Abby, two points for Tom,
27:23three points for Ben, four points for Tofinga, and five points for Hayley.
27:29Okay, I'm ready for another task, P.W.
27:32It's time for another task, and you should enjoy this one for the length
27:36it takes you to sing Happy Birthday twice.
27:46Hi.
27:47Hello, Tom.
27:48Hello, Tofinga.
27:49Paul.
27:50Hello, Abby.
27:51Hello, Paul.
27:52A pleasure to see you again.
27:53Likewise.
27:54Where's the envelope?
27:55The tasks never come in envelopes.
27:59What's happening?
27:59What am I meant to do?
28:01Oh, just the task.
28:03I know where it is.
28:06Oh, mama mia.
28:09Got a good feeling about this one, bro.
28:11Okay, here we go.
28:13Make soap.
28:16Best soap wins.
28:17You've 29 seconds to order your ingredients.
28:20And 20 minutes to make the soap.
28:23Your time starts now.
28:25Okay, so I need a fat.
28:27What kind of fat?
28:28Vegetable fat or animal fat.
28:30I would like coconut oil, please.
28:33Lemon.
28:33Some soap from the supermarket.
28:35What, a bar of soap?
28:36Bar of soap.
28:37Um, soap.
28:38A bar of soap.
28:39Like a sweet essence of some description.
28:41Um, it can just be specific.
28:42Peach.
28:43Some salt.
28:44Shea butter.
28:45Peppermint.
28:46Rexona and ice cream.
28:48Glitter.
28:48$20 in a note.
28:50Give me some chocolate and some bananas.
28:53Oats.
28:53Saffron.
28:54Rain flakes.
28:55Your time starts now.
28:58Make soap.
29:01Okay.
29:03Make soap.
29:05Make soap.
29:06So what's soap made out of?
29:08Fat.
29:08So it's made out of fat.
29:09You've got 15 seconds.
29:11To order the ingredients?
29:13Yes.
29:13Oh, from you?
29:13Yes.
29:1410 seconds.
29:15I need fat and I need...
29:17What fat?
29:19Cow fat and some food colouring.
29:22Some pink food colouring.
29:27I think that's all I need.
29:28I think I just churn it or something.
29:29Is that butter?
29:30Oh my god.
29:31I don't know.
29:36I want to make it very clear that if anyone makes soap with soap,
29:40there's no points.
29:41Oh, interesting.
29:42No points.
29:43So a few people did order soap.
29:45I saw that.
29:46I think keep an open mind, Jeremy.
29:49Hey, let's let the taskmaster do his job, shall we?
29:53Okay, Paul.
29:54Who's soap making are we going to see first?
29:56These three were named after the final stage of the hand-washing process.
30:00It's Abbey Towels, Hayley Towel and Taufinga Fepuleai.
30:07Oh, my ingredients.
30:09Wonderful.
30:10I knew I should have gone to my science classes.
30:13Any of the classes really.
30:15I should have gone to school for soap.
30:18I put in too many oats.
30:20You can never have too many oats.
30:22Toats.
30:23Maybe that's the name of the bar.
30:24Toats Oats Soap.
30:26I've got saffron for elegance and that touch of luxury.
30:30You usually put about a teaspoon in there.
30:33And what that helps is actually, um,
30:34the fritidizes the inter-protocols.
30:37Yeah, also the scientific terms you're probably not familiar with.
30:40Some peppermint essential oils.
30:43I just feel like no one actually needs to know that I've graded soap into the soap.
30:46The majority of it is shea butter.
30:48So you want us to get that out?
30:50Yes, please.
30:51Okay.
30:52Now that's some clean money, I think.
30:57I sort of have just made oats.
31:01You've just got to let it sit.
31:03Just a couple of minutes.
31:04So I think that's quite good.
31:06Get it in the freezer.
31:12I guarantee you, every bottle of soap that you buy from me has a $20 bill in it.
31:19There's a $20 bill in it.
31:21What is the smell of your soap?
31:24What does it smell like you?
31:25Like a 13-year-old boy.
31:28How do you know what a 13-year-old boy smells like?
31:31Probably sick now, eh?
31:33Oh gosh, okay.
31:36Oh my gosh, it's beautiful.
31:44Thank you, Toffinger.
31:45Thank you, Pop.
31:46I love every moment by soap.
31:50Soap.
32:10Baba, can you please explain to me what Toffinger meant when he said,
32:14and I quote,
32:15it lefrigitises into protocols.
32:19Just like when your phoreticus is mokariki,
32:23it falls apart.
32:24So what he did was put it together.
32:26Makes sense.
32:28Should we talk about Hayley's soap?
32:30Recycled soap with a climate lens.
32:33But you'll feel your hands are softer than...
32:34Feel his hands.
32:35They're softer than ever before.
32:36The oats and the shea butter.
32:39Oh, like you haven't done this before.
32:41Come on.
32:42They are very soft.
32:44Very soft, right?
32:45Also very sweaty.
32:48It's been quite the show for us.
32:56It's been quite the show.
32:57Abby, you had money in yours.
33:00You cannot think of a bad thing to say about my soap.
33:03I like the liquid soap.
33:05Yeah, okay.
33:06We're in agreement for once.
33:07You didn't try and turn it into a boat.
33:08And there was no blood in it.
33:09I didn't mention murder or dying in childbirth one time.
33:12I was so good.
33:14The only thing that was massacred was bacteria.
33:16Yeah, exactly, Ben.
33:18Okay, more soap when we come back after these ads.
33:21At least one of which will probably be about soap.
33:25We'll see you soon.
33:37Hoki Mai, welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:40What's happening, Poole?
33:41Our contestants are making soap using unique and inventive ingredients
33:46like soap.
33:49Wait, Ben, what's your skincare routine?
33:53Actually, here's a lot of pink fat.
33:55I'm very much looking forward to just seeing your pink fat.
34:01Buy me a drink first.
34:05You always had so many bits of like food in it.
34:08Might as well put ketchup in there.
34:10Mustard, old mustard hands.
34:14I'm ready for more soap, Poole.
34:15Who have we got next?
34:16They're the two contestants who requested BFAT
34:19and one of them requested almost nothing else.
34:23It's Tom and Ben.
34:26Hi, Tom.
34:26Here we go, perfect.
34:28This is us.
34:29This is all I ordered, isn't it?
34:31Yes.
34:31Yep.
34:32I couldn't find peach essence, so I got peach vape juice.
34:36Oh, it smells so good.
34:37So I think you just like get this to a certain temperature
34:40and it like reduces for ages.
34:42Then you put some colour in.
34:43Here we go.
34:44This smells so bad.
34:46But anyway, there we go.
34:47It sounds and smells like a fish and chip shop in here.
34:50Look at that.
34:51This is genius.
34:53Dying for a vape though.
34:54Unscented, hypoallergenic pink soap.
34:58Now I'm just going to put this in the freezer
34:59and hope for the best.
35:00You got six and a half minutes.
35:02Go, set, be soap.
35:07It's not long till the Warriors start playing again.
35:11You know what?
35:11Some fat's dropped onto the bottom of the freezer.
35:15Guess what it smells like?
35:17Peach?
35:17You got it.
35:19It does smell like peach.
35:21What?
35:22I've made soap.
35:26Okay, nothing's happened.
35:28I'm being honest with you, Paul.
35:29I don't think this is soap.
35:31What is it?
35:32Cold pink fat.
35:35Okay, thank you, Ben.
35:36Thanks.
35:42Oh!
35:59I was going to say, Ben,
36:00I think that totes oats soap
36:02might sell a little bit more than cold pink fat.
36:06But how popular were you on the way home with dogs?
36:09Tom, you actually accidentally made soap.
36:14And it was kind of a heart shape
36:15to celebrate, obviously, what's going on here.
36:20So, who used soap in their soaps?
36:23Two people.
36:24Tuffinger, obviously.
36:26And Hayley did great.
36:27A little bit of soap.
36:28Tiny, tiny.
36:29I know.
36:30But unfortunately, no points for either of you guys.
36:32Jeremy!
36:34Three points for that horrific stuff.
36:36That's crazy!
36:37That is insanity!
36:41Four points for Abbey with the liquid soap
36:43with the 20 bucks in it.
36:44And five points for Tom's accidental soap that he made.
36:48No, I'm not having it.
36:52Okay, this is unconventional, Paul.
36:54But I'd like to have a sneaky fourth proper task in here,
36:59if we can.
37:00You're a rebel and that's what I love about you.
37:04Here's another task.
37:05It's time to face the music.
37:18Hello, Tuffinger.
37:19Hey, Paul.
37:20Feeling good?
37:22Feeling good.
37:24Make a new musical instrument.
37:26It must be playable and smaller than a dog.
37:29You have 30 minutes.
37:31Your time starts now.
37:33I'm just going to grab everything and bring it down.
37:35What do you mean everything?
37:37My crafts.
37:44All right, so whose instrument are we going to look at first?
37:47The whole band's back together.
37:49Here's everyone.
37:51Get down, boy.
37:52Get down.
37:53Why'd you say that?
37:54Just to show you that this is an Irish wolfhound.
37:57Oh, like one standing up?
37:58Yeah.
38:00Do you know what this is?
38:01What?
38:02A panjo.
38:04It's really good.
38:05I just need a comb.
38:06A comb?
38:07Comb and tissues.
38:08What about like some kind of hat?
38:10You know how like with Australians with a cork hat?
38:13Okay, so this is my centerpiece and my muse.
38:16It's a poor man's instrument.
38:18My uncle used to play it all the time.
38:20So if I could get that in there.
38:22Careful not to stab yourself.
38:24Yeah.
38:26Yeah.
38:29You know what you'd play on a panjo?
38:31What?
38:31Walk and roll.
38:33He's on fire.
38:35Da da da da da da da da da da da da.
38:40See?
38:40So what's actually happening?
38:41Because it seems like you're just making the noise with your mouth.
38:44The top part is for the lower notes.
38:48And the other parts, the higher notes.
38:52That's quite good.
38:55I think this is like a cursed instrument.
38:58Like when I put this on, I'm going to completely change.
39:02Whoa.
39:06Okay, I think this is it.
39:09Does this instrument have a name?
39:11The Paul Demonium Tree.
39:13The Red Death.
39:14The Mellow Capello.
39:17It's the comtesu.
39:19The what?
39:20Comtesu.
39:21Comtesu.
39:22Yeah, comtesu.
39:28Being out pangu there, that was amazing.
39:30And one day you guys should go away for the weekend and just pun together.
39:34Jealous, are we?
39:35Yeah, wow.
39:38What a cuck.
39:45So here's some still images.
39:48Oh my goodness, Abby, what have you done there?
39:51You've got to love me for who I am.
39:54And Tefinga, the comtesu.
39:57Sorry, what's it called?
39:58The comtesu.
39:59Oh, for some reason I thought he said the cumtesu.
40:04Tom Sainsbury.
40:06Sorry.
40:08So do you want to score them, Jeremy?
40:10I would love to score them, but I actually probably want to hear them first.
40:14And we have one thrilling part to go, so stay tuned.
40:28Good afternoon, welcome back to Taskmaster.
40:31Some people call it New Zealand doesn't have talent.
40:33We're nearing the end of the episode.
40:37Paul, could you give us a scoreboard update, please?
40:39Abby's in second with 13, but in first with a three-point lead, it's Tom Sainsbury.
40:45Okay, the stakes are high.
40:47Get on stage, everyone, for the live task.
40:54Oh, I like the look of this, Paul.
40:55Who's going to read out the task tonight?
40:57Tom Sainsbury.
40:59Congrats.
41:00Thanks.
41:02On your original instrument, perform a solo with this jazz band.
41:07Best solo wins.
41:09Your solo must last for 15 seconds.
41:14Take it away, fellas.
41:20Please welcome to the stage, on his banjo, it's Ben Hurley.
41:30Give it up for Ben Hurley, everybody.
41:49Please welcome to the stage, on the mellow capello, it's Hayley Sprouse.
42:00A one, a two, a scooby-dooby-doo.
42:20Hayley Sprouse, mellow capello.
42:23Please welcome to the stage, on the Paul Demonium tree, it's Tom Sainsbury.
42:31Tom Sainsbury.
42:51Up next, on the comb tissue, it's Bubba.
42:57Take it away.
43:00Bubba, everybody, on the comb tissue.
43:20And last but not least, on the red dish, it's Abbey Howells.
43:30Oh, she's lost the party thing.
43:45Somebody stop her.
43:49Shmoking.
43:55Now bring it home, everybody.
44:00Okay, come on down, and we'll score it another round of applause for our musical comedian.
44:24That was impressive.
44:24I really enjoyed that.
44:26It's going to be...
44:27Oh, goodness me, there's that death mask again.
44:29I can't take it off.
44:31Okay, I'm going to have to score this.
44:33One for you, Hayley.
44:35Outrageous.
44:36Two for Ben, with the panjo.
44:39I'm going to go three for the death mask, and the performance on the death mask,
44:43I thought was particularly good.
44:45Four for Tom, and I'm going to go five for Bubba.
44:49You are out of your mind, Jim.
44:51You have lost your mind.
44:57It's over, it's lost it.
44:59Before you announce the winner of EP7, how are we looking for the whole series?
45:05In first equal, both on 107, it's Hayley and Tom.
45:11So very close, very close.
45:14A huge turnaround for Tom Sainsbury, who has also won the episode with 20 points.
45:21Congratulations, Tom.
45:23You are now the proud owner of five delightful items from Sketchy Places.
45:27Please go and collect your items, and remember,
45:30that if police ask you where you got them from, you know absolutely nothing.
45:37Another episode down, and we've learnt more than ever before.
45:41We learnt never to assume the end of the task.
45:44We learnt that fat might be one ingredient in soap,
45:47but probably shouldn't be the only ingredient.
45:50And most importantly, we've learnt that Tom Sainsbury is the winner of EP7.
45:56See you next time. Ka kite anō.
46:16Television has absolutely peaked.
46:18See what the show does to you?
46:19Makes you completely paranoid about everything.
46:23No need to be paranoid.
46:24You make a good girlfriend.
46:26Getting quite good at doing well in tasks, but you have no idea what's going on.