Dawson's Creek Season 1 Episode 7 Detention
Dawson's Creek Season 1 Episode 7 Detention
Transcript
00:00We're a censorship and we don't have to make our case today.
00:03Okay.
00:04You think we're not friends anymore?
00:08I don't know.
00:10Are we more? Are we less?
00:30What are you doing?
00:31I don't get this movie.
00:32Yeah, but we've been watching it for an hour and a half.
00:34I kind of like to know what happens.
00:36When movies get too unrealistic, it depresses me.
00:39I got a headache. I can't watch.
00:41Unrealistic?
00:42Dawson, your favorite movie is E.T.
00:45So?
00:46A fat-fingered alien who eats Reese's Pieces and flies around in a bicycle?
00:50But the emotion is realistic.
00:52This movie, I mean, come on.
00:54A girl has to decide between two guys so they drag race.
00:58She agrees to go out with whoever has the fastest car.
01:01I hate to break it to you, Dawson, but a fast car can be a real turn-on.
01:05Well, one that they just arm-wrestle. Whoever has the biggest bicep wins.
01:09Well, that would work.
01:11Give me the remote.
01:12No.
01:13Give it to me.
01:14No, it won't.
01:15You're ass is weak.
01:16Come on. Stop it. Give it to me.
01:18Okay, wait.
01:19Give it to me right now. Give it to me. You are such a...
01:28You know what? This movie really threatens me, doesn't it?
01:31Threatens me?
01:32Yeah.
01:33Okay, enlighten me.
01:34Because guys are attracted to girls for totally superficial reasons.
01:39Yes, they are.
01:41They like girls from New York with blonde hair and pouty lips and bony arms and big boobs.
01:49But it goes both ways, Dawson. It goes both ways.
01:52Jen does not have...
01:56...bony arms.
01:58You can't stand the idea that if a girl is choosing between two guys,
02:03she might not choose the romantic doofus who woos her with flowers and cheesy poems, you know?
02:07She just might choose the guy who has the faster car or the bigger bicep or the bigger joystick.
02:14Bigger joystick?
02:15Yes.
02:16Okay, first of all, girls are attracted to romance more than anything else.
02:21Yeah. Keep Hope alive there.
02:23Second of all, I don't compete with other guys.
02:25I mean, like Pacey and me, you don't see us running around arm-wrestling each other over some girl.
02:30Well, as I said, you don't like to lose.
02:34What's that supposed to mean?
02:35Well, Pacey has bigger biceps.
02:37Tweet does not!
02:39Are you sure?
02:41Because I thought he did.
02:46So let me get this straight.
02:49If girls are so attracted to the romantic guys, then...
02:53Why won't Jen have sex with you?
02:55Jen wants to have sex with me. She just...
02:58She just hasn't gotten around to it.
03:05Let's watch the movie, Joey.
03:13I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:53I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:54I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:55I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:56I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:57I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:58I thought I was giving you a headache.
03:59I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:00I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:01I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:02I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:03I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:04I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:05I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:06I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:07I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:08I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:09I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:10I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:11I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:12I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:13I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:14I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:15I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:16I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:17I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:18I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:19I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:20I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:21I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:22I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:23I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:24I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:25I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:26I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:27I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:28I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:29I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:30I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:31I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:32I thought I was giving you a headache.
04:33The shoguns of the Tokugawa separated the church from the state and the oku was where
04:59the….
05:00Sorry I'm late Mr. Douglas, my car broke down.
05:01Sorry.
05:02Oh, I'm so sorry.
05:06Hi.
05:07Anyway, the Oku is where the Shogun kept its harem.
05:10It housed 600 women all in service to one man.
05:12What?
05:13And...
05:14Yay.
05:15Told you.
05:17Anyway, since the Emperor was in Kyoto, that meant...
05:20I have a question.
05:22Did you say that 600 chicks were all in service to just one dude?
05:27Well, I didn't say chicks, but yes.
05:29Does this mean sexual service?
05:33Grant.
05:35Yes.
05:36Each night, the Shogun chose from one of hundreds of concubines.
05:39No way, that's insane.
05:42Anyway, as I was saying, since the Emperor was in Kyoto, that meant...
05:45Hello. Over here.
05:47You know, I'll take questions after the presentation, Grant.
05:50Right.
05:51Now, did these concubines...
05:53Did they have to doink the Shogun?
05:56Grant, what did they say like no dice?
05:58Well, it was a great privilege to be chosen by the Shogun, so they...
06:01So the Shogun was kind of like the school stud.
06:04Every chick wanted a piece of him, right?
06:06You know what? They didn't want a piece of him.
06:09Sounds like they did to me.
06:11Well, that's because you have a low IQ.
06:28I call him Oompa Loompa.
06:30What's that?
06:31From Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
06:33Little green kids used to stir the chocolate?
06:36No way!
06:37What?
06:40Hey!
06:41What's so funny?
06:42Uh, it's nothing. Nada. Nein.
06:46What's so funny?
06:47No, it's nothing, Dawson. For good weather.
06:52Hey, Dawson, get pumped, man. It's your favorite time of day.
06:55Gym time!
06:56You know, I think we're playing v-ball today. Remember that one?
06:58The one that's got that hoop up in the air? Right?
07:01Yeah, I know how to play basketball.
07:03Oh, hey, I know you two sports.
07:06You just don't kick the ball and don't hit it with a baseball bat.
07:09You dribble. Kind of like this, right?
07:11Okay, funny guy. Yeah, okay. See you later at gym.
07:15Roger, Dodger.
07:19See you later, Jimmy.
07:22Oh, I have help of Mr. Pickering now.
07:25There's another person in Cape Side who has some inexplicable grudge against me.
07:30You look incredible today.
07:34Oh, thank you.
07:35So what were you guys laughing about?
07:37It was nothing, Dawson. Really, I don't even remember what it was.
07:42Okay.
07:43I'm really glad it's Friday.
07:46School's making me so stir-crazy.
07:50Let's do something wild this weekend, like river rafting or jump out of a plane naked.
07:57We'll have fun.
07:58Okay.
07:59Okay.
08:01See you later.
08:02Alright.
08:09You know that cheerleaders are doing splits in the gymnasium?
08:12How am I supposed to play ball with a distraction like that?
08:15BC, what were you and Jim laughing about before?
08:18Dude, you're fixated. Move on.
08:20Obviously, if you won't tell me, you were talking trash about me.
08:23Hey, don't talk trash. Recycle.
08:25Whatever.
08:27Did Jim already tell me what you guys were talking about?
08:30No, she didn't.
08:33She did?
08:34Yep.
08:36Huh. I guess that's cool.
08:38I mean, Oompa Loompa is not the worst nickname.
08:40You told her people called me Oompa Loompa?
08:42It's not such a big deal. Someone's bound to tell her sooner or later.
08:46She thought it was cute. She really did.
08:49Doss, you're not a little Oompa Loompa anymore.
08:54You're a big, bad, manly Oompa Loompa now.
08:58Alright. Peace, brother.
09:02Tough guy.
09:05Last night, your assignment was to read an article on euthanasia.
09:10Who would like to comment on the article?
09:13Daniel!
09:18Uh, the doctors are supposed to heal, not to kill?
09:23Yes.
09:25Besides being immoral, helping a patient take his or her own life
09:29is completely at odds with the prescribed role of a physician.
09:32I disagree.
09:34Miss Lindley?
09:37I don't know how they run classrooms in New York City, but...
09:40But here at Capeside, you raise your hand and he'll call the phone.
09:44I'm sorry, I just thought that this was a discussion.
09:49You disagree?
09:50Yeah, I do.
09:51If a doctor can help someone to die with dignity,
09:53I think it's crazy that as a society we would put that doctor in jail.
09:58Die with dignity?
10:01Isn't that just a euphemism for murder and suicide?
10:04No. If someone has a terminal illness,
10:07if they're in terrible pain, if it's just a matter of time...
10:11I mean, don't you think that there comes a point when life is no longer worth living?
10:15Life is God's most precious gift, and it is his decision when we should go.
10:20Oh, please, that...
10:21That's enough.
10:22For someone lying on his deathbed, life is not a gift, life's a bitch.
10:32I'm sorry, I don't know what to say.
10:35I'm sorry, I'm just trying to say that for someone...
10:38This is not Times Square, Miss Linley.
10:43We don't use that kind of language here.
10:47You just bought yourself Saturday detention.
10:53Anybody else?
10:58Fish sticks.
11:01Hey!
11:05Camels.
11:06Hey, lumberjack, there's a line and it starts back there.
11:09Look who it is! You know, I dug your report, Joy.
11:13Got a lot out of it. It was very... stimulating.
11:17Yeah, well, you were a great help.
11:19I especially liked you when you called me stupid.
11:22I love it when chicks tease me. It turns me on.
11:26You know, Grant, this may come as a shock to you,
11:28but just because you're juiced up on steroids,
11:30it doesn't mean you can barge in line wherever you want.
11:32You know, people have been waiting and it's rude.
11:34You're kidding. Did I barge in front of you?
11:37Yeah, you did.
11:38Oh, guys, fellas, we just barged in line.
11:43God, I feel terrible, but you understand, don't you?
11:46It's kind of like your report.
11:49Excuse me?
11:51We're like the show guns in this school.
11:54It's like our castle.
11:56Whatever we want, we get.
11:58Oh, really?
12:00You can either be my servant...
12:04or my concubine.
12:06So what'll it be?
12:15Neither.
12:16Oh, shit.
12:24Ladies, let's take some rumble!
12:34Hey, Dawson, let's play a little one-on-one.
12:36Why?
12:37Because I'm gonna roll with the ladies here.
12:39Take it from me, you don't get any play
12:41when you're sitting on the bench, all right?
12:43I think it's the sex tip's casanova.
12:45Look, I'm hungry, man. I want to eat lunch.
12:47It's only gonna be for a couple of points.
12:48I'll buy you lunch.
12:50Well, let's not get crazy.
12:51I'll buy you a fruit cup, all right?
12:53All right, okay, okay.
12:54I'll buy you lunch, huh?
12:57You go first.
13:07Come on, Dawson, quick one, huh?
13:08Huh? Come on.
13:10Ready?
13:14Come on.
13:16He shoots, he scores!
13:18The crowd goes wild.
13:20This kid's all for it.
13:22You're too kind.
13:23You know, Dawson, I'm really kicking your ass.
13:25Listen, if you want to impress the cheerleaders,
13:27go shoot free throws or something.
13:28I'm out of here.
13:29Hey, you can't leave, man. I need you.
13:31You make me look good.
13:32How do I do that, huh?
13:37You suck worse than I do.
13:39It was a joke, man. I'm kidding.
13:41You can still beat me.
13:42Miracles happen all the time.
13:43Come on, pass me the ball, Oompa Loompa.
13:47What did you call me?
13:48I said, check it, Oompa Loompa.
13:50Hey, ladies, I really love what you did with that last cheer.
13:57What the hell?
13:58What the hell, man?
13:59Oh, shoot.
14:00What happened?
14:02Are you hurt?
14:05Are you all right?
14:06I've been somewhere in a haystack.
14:09Oh, you crazy son of a...
14:11What's gotten into you, Dawson?
14:15You cool off tomorrow and I'll pay attention.
14:33Apparently I'm justified.
14:34Neither one of us deserves to be here.
14:37Well, I don't, but I kind of think you do.
14:40You think I deserve to be here?
14:42Dawson, you hit Pacey in the face with a basketball.
14:45I mean, you broke his nose.
14:47I didn't break his nose.
14:48Pacey's your best friend.
14:50Ever since he lost his virginity, he's been copping this attitude with me, you know?
14:54Come on, I thought you had more control over your animal instincts.
14:58I wish.
15:00Sometimes I feel like they control me.
15:03Like whenever I'm with you.
15:07Come on, better go, don't want to be late.
15:20What are you doing here?
15:23Oh, my God, Pacey, look at you.
15:28How's your nose?
15:30It's broken, thanks.
15:32Oh, my God, that must hurt.
15:35Oh, hey.
15:36Oh, sorry, sorry.
15:39Oh, that really sucks.
15:42Tell me about it.
15:44So what are you in detention for?
15:46That's a long, long story.
15:48We've got eight hours.
15:50Oh, this is going to be so much fun, three of us sitting around doing nothing.
15:55It's just like every other Saturday.
15:58It's just so punitive.
16:00That's what detention is.
16:02Oh, my God, that sounds like Abby Morgan.
16:06Who's Abby Morgan?
16:07You've never met Abby Morgan?
16:10You're gross.
16:12Literally.
16:17It's about school policy, Abby.
16:19But I could be outside doing good things for the Capeside community,
16:24like helping invalids or picking up litter instead of wasting the day here.
16:31Oh, great.
16:33It's howdy-duty time.
16:35Sit down, Abby, and think why you're here in Saturday detention in the first place.
16:40But I could be doing that at home.
16:42You could put me under house arrest.
16:44I could just sit in my house all day long and think, think, think about
16:47what a bad person I am.
16:50Abby, shut up.
16:52Hello, everyone, and welcome to Saturday detention.
16:56Detention is not about fun and games.
16:59Detention is about penance.
17:02Sit down, Abby.
17:04You are all required to stay here in the library until five o'clock.
17:09You should be asking yourself the question,
17:11what have I done to get detention in the first place,
17:13and what can I do to improve my behavior?
17:17Somebody's missing.
17:19It's me. I'm here.
17:21Joey?
17:23Oh, hey, everybody.
17:25What is this, some sort of surprise party?
17:27Oh, yeah. Surprise. Break out the piñata.
17:29Sit down. You're late.
17:31As you know, I'm the school librarian.
17:34I have some important work to do in the audiovisual room.
17:38If for any reason I have to come out here and discipline you,
17:41you will spend the rest of the day
17:43shelving books and sorting library cards.
17:47So, are you down with the program?
17:51You're going to be spending the rest of the day together,
17:54so get used to it.
17:56After eight hours, you're going to be like family.
17:59Eight hours?
18:01We're going to murder each other.
18:03Well, just don't get any blood on the books.
18:06And I mean that.
18:08Anybody want some gum?
18:10Yeah, actually.
18:12Yeah.
18:14You're right.
18:16Oh, my God, Pacey.
18:18What did you do to your beak?
18:20Get into a car accident while picking your nose?
18:23No, actually.
18:25This chump right over here,
18:27he threw a basketball at my face.
18:29Well, you should be thanking him.
18:31Can't look at him like that.
18:33I'm sorry.
18:34He threw a basketball at my face.
18:36Well, you should be thanking him.
18:38Can't look any worse than it did before.
18:41Is that why you're in here, Dawson?
18:43Attempted manslaughter?
18:47How about you, Pacey?
18:49Get in trouble for damaging school equipment with your face?
18:53He's not telling.
18:55Ooh, must be embarrassing.
18:58What did you do, Pacey?
19:00Make up another cockamamie story about sleeping with a teacher?
19:05No.
19:07That's none of your business.
19:09Ooh, secrets drive me crazy.
19:11Come on, Pacey, if you tell us,
19:13we'll give you a piece of gum.
19:15Oh, you're so cool.
19:17We'll keep your boring little secret.
19:22How about you, Jen?
19:24What was your crime?
19:26Just that bitch in class.
19:28It's just Mr. Pickering.
19:30He's got this total small-town mentality.
19:32So many people here do.
19:34I'm sorry, Jen.
19:36It must be so hard for you putting up with us simpletons.
19:38That's not what I meant.
19:40Must be a real bitch for you.
19:42Rear!
19:44Catfight!
19:46Ladies in your corners.
19:48How about you, Joey?
19:50Why are you in here?
19:52Not that I'm surprised.
19:54I mean, incarceration does seem to run in your family.
19:56Go to hell.
19:58I think you're the bitch, Abby.
20:00Okay, Miss Big Apple.
20:01Miss Backwater Blacksheet.
20:03Don't let me stop you.
20:16I slugged Grant Boding.
20:19You slugged Grant Boding?
20:21No, is that why he left school early?
20:24Yeah.
20:26Oh, my God.
20:28That is moronic, even for you.
20:29Grant Boding is like the king of the school,
20:31and a total fox.
20:33Why did they put me in here
20:35with all you violent offenders?
20:37What did you do, Abby?
20:39Yeah.
20:41Don't go there, Dawson.
20:43Oh, come on, Abby.
20:45We told you.
20:47Look, I don't want to blow your mind.
20:49Abby, we can handle this one, all right?
20:51I don't think you can, Pinocchio.
20:53Oh, really?
20:55Hit me with it.
20:57Okay.
20:59Have you ever been to the boys' locker room?
21:01No.
21:03You ever heard of a little drug called ecstasy?
21:08You ever heard of an orgy?
21:12That's all I can tell you.
21:14Suffice to say that some people in this school
21:17aren't afraid to experience a little erotic pleasure.
21:20But I don't kiss and tell.
21:23That's all I can say.
21:25Sorry.
21:29Uh-huh.
21:36This is so Breakfast Club.
21:39Breakfast Club?
21:41You know that John Hughes movie
21:43where the five kids are stuck in detention all day?
21:45Yeah, at first they hate each other,
21:47and then they become really, really good friends.
21:49Oh, yeah, the movie stunk.
21:51Whatever happened to those actors?
21:53Well, Anthony Michael Hall
21:55got some kind of weird thyroid condition.
21:56He's challenging their appeal,
21:58and the rest are languishing somewhere
22:00in TV obscurity.
22:02No way!
22:04Emilio Estevez, he was in those duck movies, remember?
22:06God, those were classics.
22:08So funny.
22:14What?
22:19You know, my best friend back in New York,
22:22her older sister used to babysit for Ally Sheedy.
22:25You mean you know somebody
22:27who knows somebody who knows Ally Sheedy?
22:29Yeah, Jen, you're just so glamorous.
22:33Well, we can't all be like you, Abby,
22:36having your little ecstasy gang bangs
22:38on the floor of the boys' locker room.
22:41Mrs. Tringle?
22:44Mrs. Tringle!
22:46Oh, come on.
22:48You brought him here to break up Uncle Bo and Hope
22:51so that your daughter Bo could be happy.
22:52Tringle!
22:54Mrs. Tringle!
22:56What is it?
22:58I do have a bladder, you know,
23:00and it's about to burst.
23:02Could I please be excused to go use the bathroom?
23:13I'm surprised she's not following us into the stalls.
23:23I may be reaching,
23:25but I think the four of you
23:27have some weird sexual tension deal going on.
23:30Am I right?
23:53I'm so bored.
23:55Really?
23:57Well, where's your ecstasy, Abby?
23:59You and I can just go on down
24:01to the boys' locker room, you know.
24:03I don't have any left,
24:05and if I did, I wouldn't waste it
24:07on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
24:09You're not going to let Rudolph
24:11join in any of your perverted reindeer games.
24:14Hey, now there's an idea.
24:16Games.
24:18We should all play a game.
24:20Really?
24:22What do you want to play?
24:24Pin-a-tail-in-the-hoe-bag?
24:26No.
24:28We should play truth or dare.
24:30Oh, God.
24:32Please, I'll be your best friend.
24:37Okay, I'll go first.
24:39Dawson, you can ask me anything,
24:41anything at all,
24:43and I'll swear to tell the truth.
24:45Forget about it, Abby.
24:47Come on, Dawson.
24:49Isn't there anything you've ever wanted to ask me?
24:50Yeah, are you really an alien,
24:52and what planet are you from?
24:54No, an Earth.
24:56Okay, my turn.
24:58Wait a minute.
25:00No, that was your question.
25:02That wasn't a question, that was a joke.
25:04Look, there are rules to this game,
25:06and your turn is over.
25:08Now it's my turn,
25:10and I want to ask Pacey.
25:12Truth or dare, Pacey?
25:14All right, Abby.
25:16Just remember,
25:18it's my turn next.
25:21Dare or truth, I don't care.
25:23Fine, truth.
25:25Pacey, why are you in detention?
25:34Well, it's, uh,
25:36it's just, you see,
25:38well, I want a dare.
25:41Oh, come on, Pacey, just tell us.
25:43Hey, I want a dare.
25:45You are such a wuss.
25:47Fine.
25:49I dare you
25:52to kiss
25:54on the lips
25:56for ten seconds.
25:59Jen!
26:01What?
26:08We're waiting.
26:11This is stupid.
26:13Nobody wants to play this game, Abby.
26:15I do.
26:16Pacey, you said dare.
26:18You better do as she says.
26:23Fine.
26:25Fine, I'll do what I can.
26:47Huh.
26:54Okay.
26:56Joey.
26:58Miss, you better do as she says.
27:00Will it be truth or dare?
27:02No, you said you were going to...
27:04Ha, ha, ha, ha.
27:06Truth or dare?
27:09Truth.
27:12Okay.
27:13Who do you like?
27:15Who do I like?
27:17Yeah, simple question.
27:19Who are you in love with?
27:21The truth.
27:26If I say truth, I am at dare.
27:29Oh, you guys are such wimps.
27:31Can't any of you handle the truth?
27:33Look, I'll do anything.
27:35I'll go climb through the ventilation shafts
27:37or I'll go flash Mrs. Trandle.
27:39Okay, perfect, then.
27:41In keeping with the rules,
27:43in keeping with our kissing theme,
27:45Joey, I dare you to kiss on the lips
27:47for 15 seconds
27:50Dawson Leary.
27:52No way, no.
27:54Pacey, grow up.
27:56No, you have to do it, Joey.
27:58I mean, you did say you'd do anything.
28:02Fine.
28:04Dawson, come here.
28:06Come on.
28:14Okay.
28:22I'll keep the time.
28:34I was up all night
28:39Dreaming of you
28:43For a long time
28:47She's bleeding again
28:50From the sole of her shoes
28:53She's got to carry
28:55The weight of the truth
28:57Could you take it easy on me?
29:0113, 14, 15.
29:06Okay.
29:08So, are we having fun yet?
29:19It's your turn, Joey.
29:22Earth to dimwit.
29:25Come in, dimwit.
29:27Okay.
29:29Jen.
29:31Truth or dare?
29:34Truth.
29:35Okay.
29:37Out of all the guys at Capeside,
29:39is Dawson the one you're most attracted to?
29:41Do I like Dawson the most?
29:43Yeah, of course.
29:45No, I didn't ask you if you liked him the best.
29:47I asked you if he's the one
29:49that you're most attracted to.
29:51What do you mean attracted to?
29:53She means attracted,
29:55like physically attracted.
29:57Yeah, is he the guy you're hottest with?
29:59I mean, when you look at Dawson,
30:01do you want to just jump his bones?
30:03Or is it that you like his personality the best,
30:05and you'd rather boink somebody else,
30:07I don't know, someone like Pacey?
30:09No, I like Dawson.
30:11Yeah, but do you lust for him?
30:13It's a stupid question.
30:15Why is it a stupid question?
30:17I don't have any problem with this question.
30:19It's a stupid question because,
30:21it's a stupid question because,
30:23because the answer is yes, alright?
30:26Obviously the answer is yes.
30:28I lust for Dawson, okay?
30:30I'm hot for Dawson.
30:32Are you happy, Joey?
30:34Forget about it.
30:36What? Come on, Jen, just tell me.
30:38I can handle it. What?
30:40What do you have to tell me?
30:42Maybe if you spent less time dwelling on me and Dawson,
30:44you might have a boyfriend of your own.
30:46Oh, and wouldn't that just be heaven on earth?
30:48Yeah, to call one of these pigs that capeside my boyfriend
30:50to be some perky little cheerleader
30:52who gets pumped and dumped by the school jock.
30:54Yeah, have sex with Grant Bodien
30:56on the floor of the boys' locker room.
30:58Wouldn't that just be great?
31:00Yeah, I wish I was a lesbian.
31:01I don't have a relationship with Dawson,
31:03so just get over yourself.
31:12Okay, I dare all of us
31:14to do what?
31:16To follow me. It's time for a jailbreak.
31:22You really do have a twisted little imagination, Sammy.
31:26You're the one who's twisted, Kate.
31:27Who knew that Uncle Beau
31:29would be protective of Billy
31:31and that it would cause problems
31:33between him and Hope?
31:35You know the problem, Peter.
31:37You're mistaking me
31:39for someone as devious as you.
31:41How is this devious?
31:44We're totally going to get caught.
31:46No, we're not.
31:48Mrs. Trinkle is in there
31:50watching Days of Our Lives,
31:52which means she's probably taped
31:54the whole week's worth of shows,
31:55which means she's got about
31:57an hour and a half left to go,
31:59which means we should have
32:01an hour of freedom.
32:03What exactly are we doing out here?
32:05Well, I would like to propose
32:07that we play a new game.
32:09This one's a friendly fun
32:11for the whole family adventure.
32:13It's called Guess My Butt.
32:15Guess My Butt?
32:17That sounds good.
32:19Okay, Paisley,
32:21it's time to pull up your pants now.
32:23All right, and now we play
32:25Guess My Butt.
32:27They all look the same.
32:29No, if you look closely,
32:31there's subtle differences
32:33between all of them.
32:35Oh, well, this one's
32:37so perky and petite.
32:39It's got to be mine.
32:41And this one has got to be Paisley's.
32:43How do you know?
32:45I can just tell.
32:47Duh, she's checked it out.
32:49Don't make me ill.
32:51Oh, please, you know,
32:53she can't help herself.
32:55She's just jealous of you.
32:57Talk about delusions of grandeur.
32:59Dawson, this is so blatant.
33:01That's why you threw the basketball
33:03on my nose, and it's why you've been
33:05acting like such a little puke lately.
33:07Me? I've been acting like a puke.
33:09Dawson, don't get into this.
33:11Hey, you're jealous.
33:13You're jealous of me.
33:15You're jealous of me because
33:17I'm a better athlete.
33:19You're jealous of me because
33:21I got a better sex life.
33:23Yeah, Paisley, you're a real Don Juan.
33:25The sad reality, Paisley,
33:27is that you're not good at anything.
33:29You are a total failure.
33:31Andy and I mentioned it a lot
33:33at the top of the school.
33:35Would you guys chill out?
33:37Can't we all just get along?
33:39You know, I never knew what it did
33:41to a man's ego to lose a basketball game.
33:43I didn't lose that basketball game.
33:45Do you want a rematch?
33:47I'll see you anytime, anywhere.
33:49Dawson, why are you doing this?
33:51It's not for them to get his rocks off
33:53at my expense.
33:55You know what is a little bit humiliating?
33:57I'm with the girlfriend.
33:59He's giving me sex advice.
34:01Hey, Dawson, what's up?
34:03Chickening out?
34:05Come on.
34:07Come on, Dawson, this is stupid.
34:09You don't have to do this.
34:11Hmm.
34:13This should be interesting.
34:15All right, Oompa Loompa.
34:17This is your moment of truth.
34:19By when you got to tell us
34:21why you're in detention?
34:23Me? Lose this?
34:25Bring it.
34:27Good shot.
34:50Pacey, you're supposed
34:52to get it in the net.
34:56My dog plays basketball
34:58better than you two.
35:00Yeah, this is so ridiculous.
35:02Why do guys always feel the need
35:04to compete over everything?
35:06Oh, yeah, us sisters
35:08never compete over anything.
35:11Dawson, nice air ball.
35:20Don't you think you should
35:22go get some pom-poms, Jim,
35:23and cheer your man on?
35:25Okay, Joey, I give up.
35:27You win.
35:29I keep trying to get you to like me,
35:31but there's nothing I can do,
35:33is there?
35:35What do you mean?
35:37Whatever, I like you.
35:39Come on, Joey, I'm not a fool.
35:41All your little catty comments
35:43are not lost on me.
35:45What did I do to you?
35:47All I've ever tried to do
35:49is be your friend.
35:51Y'all can never be friends
35:53with a guy.
35:55Joey, it's obvious
35:57you're in love with Dawson.
36:01You're wrong.
36:03I saw a kiss that could set
36:05the Atlantic Ocean on fire.
36:07Don't tell me I'm wrong about that.
36:09That kiss was intense.
36:16You guys have a lot to talk about.
36:19I'm parched.
36:21I'm gonna get some water.
36:23Okay.
36:31You're losing pace.
36:33Let's go.
36:35Am I too much for you?
36:37Probably.
36:39That's what I thought.
36:43Joey, I know
36:45this has got to be kind of...
36:47Look, I don't want to talk
36:49about this, okay?
36:51Not with you.
36:53No.
36:55It's okay.
36:57I understand.
36:59I do.
37:01Why do you have to be like this?
37:03Like what?
37:05It's so nice.
37:07God.
37:09It would be so much easier
37:11if you were just
37:13a total wench, that's all.
37:15I'm sorry.
37:17I guess I could try
37:19and be more of a wench.
37:23We gotta get back to the library
37:25right now!
37:27What?
37:29No way!
37:31Yes!
37:33Yes!
37:35Seriously, if we don't get our
37:37Xerox butts back to the library
37:39in the next two minutes,
37:41we're doomed!
37:43Hey, ladies!
37:45Come on, this way!
37:53Hey!
38:17Hey, Mrs. Trinkle.
38:19How's it hanging?
38:24Is there any reason I shouldn't
38:26give you all detention
38:28next Saturday?
38:30Yes, we were starving.
38:32Mrs. Trinkle, you can't keep us
38:34locked up here in this library
38:36with no food.
38:38I mean, I am a member
38:40of Amnesty International.
38:42So you went to the gym to what?
38:44Eat a basketball?
38:46No, we didn't know
38:48what we were doing.
38:50We were delirious.
38:51One more peep out of you,
38:53Mrs. Trinkle.
38:57These cards need sorting.
39:16You will spend the rest
39:18of the afternoon arranging
39:19the cards in alphabetical order
39:21and putting them back
39:23into that drawer.
39:25If even one card is out of order
39:27at 5 o'clock,
39:29you will all spend next Saturday
39:31with me here in detention.
39:33So, are you hip to my lingo?
39:50Are you going to help or not?
39:53Oh, I can't.
39:55I'm sorry.
39:57I have carpal tunnel syndrome.
40:12Ha ha.
40:14Last one.
40:16Oh, thank God.
40:17Never thought I'd hear myself say that.
40:21Well,
40:23how are those cards coming?
40:25Oh, good.
40:27We just finished them,
40:29Mrs. Trinkle.
40:31It's 4.30.
40:33You should all be able
40:35to go home soon.
40:37Mrs. Trinkle,
40:39oh, you have such pretty eyes.
40:42Have you ever thought
40:44about wearing contacts?
40:45Abby, you don't have to flatter me.
40:47You've served your time in detention.
40:50Hopefully, you've learned something.
40:53Excessive tardies
40:55will not be tolerated at the campsite.
41:01Excessive tardies?
41:03What happened to the ecstasy, Abby?
41:05Oh, and the orgy on the floor of the boys' locker.
41:07I knew this from the very beginning.
41:09I saw through your whole school slut routine.
41:11You were such a liar.
41:13Takes one to know one.
41:15You're nothing but a white bread,
41:17country club goody two-shoes
41:19with a bad case of potty mouth.
41:21Oh, no.
41:23Pacey's on to me.
41:25I can never show my face in public again.
41:27Big deal.
41:29I was just trying to make
41:31the day more interesting.
41:33The question is,
41:35why are you in detention, Pacey?
41:38Yeah.
41:40That was the deal, remember?
41:42If you lost the game,
41:43the game was a sham.
41:45It was a deal.
41:47You know what?
41:49It's just not going to happen, okay?
41:51Forget it, Griff.
41:53You can't expect Pacey to fess up to anyone.
41:55I am so sick and tired of you
41:57copping this attitude with.
41:59I want to trust you, Pacey.
42:01You want to trust me?
42:03What, like I'm going to steal
42:05your girlfriend or something?
42:07I wouldn't put it past you.
42:09You can do anything for sex.
42:11That sucks, Dawson.
42:13What's there to think?
42:15I mean, you kissed my girlfriend.
42:17It's a dare, Dawson.
42:19You guys were totally into it.
42:21Well, I wasn't.
42:23No offense.
42:25None taken.
42:27Okay, that whole oompa-loompa thing?
42:29Oh, for the love of God, Dawson,
42:31you've blown that thing so far out of proportion.
42:33Maybe I have, all right?
42:35But you don't understand.
42:37You don't get it.
42:39Those two words, oompa-loompa,
42:41I hate those words.
42:44For not being Mr. Varsity Athlete.
42:47For not being sexually experienced.
42:55Look, I'm a virgin, okay?
42:58I'm not some big sex stud like you.
43:02Big sex stud?
43:05Please, tell me you're joking, Dawson.
43:10Okay.
43:13Do you want to know why I'm in here?
43:18You all have to swear
43:20that this never leaves this room.
43:24We swear.
43:25Cross my heart.
43:29I swear.
43:34Okay.
43:36So,
43:38yesterday,
43:40after you totally
43:42busted up my nose with that basketball,
43:48the cheerleaders were being
43:50really friendly towards me,
43:53and, you know,
43:55bandaging up my nose
43:57and hugging me and stuff.
44:02I got a little excited.
44:04Oh, no.
44:06It gets worse.
44:10I, uh,
44:13I went into the bathroom
44:15to relieve the tension,
44:16if you know what I mean.
44:18Oh, my God.
44:20Yeah, and, uh,
44:22coach came in
44:24and wanted to check up on my nose.
44:30He saw a lot more than your nose, didn't he?
44:33Yeah, well, needless to say,
44:35that's why I'm here.
44:36That's the most embarrassing story
44:38I've ever heard.
44:40Thanks.
44:44So,
44:45do you think you can stop throwing
44:46basketballs at my face now, Dawson?
44:49I think it's glaringly obvious
44:51that I'm no Don Juan
44:52about to steal your girlfriend.
44:55I mean,
44:56at least you have a girlfriend.
44:57I got nothing left.
45:00You have your hand.
45:04You're right.
45:05You're right.
45:06I've taken my frustrations out on you.
45:07I'm sorry.
45:10I guess I'm just looking for a reason why.
45:14Huh.
45:17What?
45:18A reason for what?
45:22Why you don't want me.
45:27Wait.
45:28Dawson.
45:33I like you.
45:35So much.
45:37But it's not enough that you like me.
45:40I want you to want me.
45:47You're my godsend, Dawson,
45:49and I don't think I even believe in God.
45:52I mean, this school is not exactly
45:54welcoming me with open arms, you know?
45:57It feels like
45:58everybody here hates me,
46:00and I don't know why.
46:01Because I'm from New York?
46:03What, because I'm different?
46:07You know, sometimes it feels
46:09like my whole life here
46:11is just one great big detention
46:13that I can't escape, but...
46:16But then
46:17I think about you,
46:20and how I've met this
46:22great guy who's so romantic
46:24and so caring,
46:26and who I like,
46:28and who I want so much.
46:34Dawson, it's because of you
46:36that I get through the bad days.
46:39And if you think that I want you to be
46:41some big varsity sex div,
46:43then you're crazy.
46:45I understand
46:47that you want to take things slow.
46:48I do.
46:51And I don't want to pressure you, Jen.
46:52I don't want to be that guy.
46:55I am human. I have hormones.
46:59No.
47:01I said that I never thought
47:03about having sex with you.
47:04I'd be lying.
47:07Because the thought crosses my mind.
47:10About a thousand times a day.
47:14What, just a thousand?
47:15That's nothing.
47:19Pacey, I've been a real jerk.
47:24I'm really sorry about your nose,
47:26about everything else.
47:28I'm sorry I called you Oompa Loompa, man.
47:30It shouldn't come as too much of a surprise
47:32seeing as I'm such a screw-up.
47:35You're not a screw-up.
47:38Yeah, I am a screw-up,
47:39and everybody here knows it.
47:42But, uh,
47:44Dawson,
47:45you're my best friend, man.
47:49And I don't want to screw that up.
47:54You know, when did everyone
47:55become so obsessed with sex?
47:58And now you too, Dawson.
48:00If you're worried that everyone's
48:01more experienced than you,
48:02you can just rest easy.
48:05You still have one friend
48:06who'll probably go to a grave with Virgin.
48:08Joey, it's just a matter of time.
48:09Before what?
48:11Before my brain short-circuits
48:13and I start bedding down with every guy
48:15with a fast car and big biceps?
48:17Before you find the right person.
48:20I have.
48:25Joey?
48:26I'm sorry, Dawson.
48:28I don't know what's going on.
48:35I have all these feelings,
48:37these weird feelings,
48:39and I don't know how to say it,
48:41and I can't say it.
48:44We've known each other for so long,
48:46and you know everything about me.
48:48Everything.
48:49And I can't even say this.
48:52I can't.
48:55And I just feel
48:57really lonely.
48:59Joey, not alone.
49:00Yes, I am.
49:01I'm here for you.
49:02I was here for you in sixth grade.
49:04I'm here for you now, okay?
49:06I'm here for you.
49:07I'm here for you.
49:08I'm here for you.
49:09I'm here for you.
49:10I'm here for you.
49:11I'm here for you.
49:12I'm here for you now, okay?
49:14Nothing you can say is going to change that,
49:16nothing.
49:20Maybe if you just
49:22say these things, then
49:24I know it'll be out in the open,
49:26and your feelings won't be as strong anymore.
49:28You know?
49:29For you to be free.
49:32I can't.
49:33I can't.
49:35If I say these things,
49:38I can't ever take them back.
49:43That'll change everything,
49:44and I can't do that.
49:50I can't.
49:57Well, everyone,
49:58congratulations.
50:00You've done your time.
50:02You can go home now.
50:12It's not that hard.
50:15It's not that hard
50:18to plot my day.
50:22It's Saturday.
50:24It's not too far.
50:27It's not too far
50:30to plot my day.
50:42It's Saturday.
50:43It's not too far
50:46to plot my day.