Ало Ало 2 Епизод 6 (2001)
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00The following is a work of fiction.
00:02Any resemblance to actual individuals or events is purely coincidental.
00:04All characters and events in this series are fictitious.
00:06Any resemblance to actual individuals or events is purely coincidental.
00:31Some of you may be interested in what I am doing in this scene with the bomb and the suitcase.
00:40I am hiding from Monsieur Alphonse, the funeral agent who challenged me to a duel.
00:49My wife, Edith, invited the whole bunch to attend the show,
00:54and she was very disappointed when I ran away.
00:59But it's just as well that I didn't run away,
01:01because despite the zigzags through the woods,
01:04he still managed to penetrate my suitcase from a distance of 20 meters.
01:09The question now is, how much longer can I hide from him and will he find me?
01:17René?
01:18What are you doing here?
01:20We have a secret meeting.
01:22We have to decide what to do next.
01:28I will tell you what to do next.
01:31Get me to Switzerland.
01:33We need to be here.
01:35You are an important factor in the escape of the English pilots.
01:38The balloon is ready.
01:40We are waiting for the appropriate wind.
01:43You have to bring the English pilots to the meeting.
01:46Do you not understand that this maniac is trying to kill me?
01:51We have decided to degas you.
01:53Really?
01:55Oh, Michelle, how can I ever repay you?
01:59Take off your clothes.
02:03Mrs. Sissons, don't piss yourself.
02:08Could we never kiss and beg first?
02:13It is so.
02:14Oh, what a disguise.
02:17I have decided that my luck has worked.
02:21Who is my happiness?
02:26Who?
02:28Would I answer yes to?
02:32Well, you want to guess who?
02:36The one but you.
02:44Madame, you have the voice of millions.
02:48When we are married, I will sing to you every night.
02:52Madame Edith, it will not be nice.
02:55After all, our wedding is over the morgue.
02:58Oh, forgive me, I forgot.
03:01I could have sung Ave Maria without accompaniment.
03:07You will probably find yourself.
03:10Mr. Alphonse, I have to talk to you.
03:16I do not know you.
03:18I am Michelle from the opposition.
03:20Michelle from the opposition?
03:22You are the fearless leader of the brave partisans
03:26who cross the country and sow terror in the hearts of the Germans and their employees.
03:31You are the girl legend who has the power to change the world.
03:36Yes, I am.
03:39Lead us, mademoiselle. We will follow you.
03:45I love you. I love you.
03:52Now, listen carefully. I will not repeat.
03:56I will take notes.
03:58I will take notes.
04:00I will take notes.
04:02I will take notes.
04:04I will take notes.
04:06Yvette, René is outside.
04:09Oh no, if Mr. Alphonse sees him, he will kill him.
04:13Do not worry, he is disguised.
04:15He will wait in the restaurant while Michelle explains to Mr. Alphonse
04:18how much René is worth for our cause.
04:22Another cognac, Yvette.
04:25Any news from René?
04:27None.
04:29This place is not the same without him.
04:31It's clean.
05:04These eyes look familiar to me.
05:07Especially this one.
05:13I am trying very hard not to look familiar, monsieur.
05:16I understand.
05:18You are René's relative and you help here.
05:21Very distant relative.
05:24You have very heavy legs.
05:29They run in the family line.
05:31René, this is you.
05:33Please, lieutenant, do not betray me.
05:35There is no fear, your secret is mine.
05:38No, you do not understand me.
05:40On the contrary.
05:43I had a uncle with the same tendencies.
05:47Every holiday he dressed up as a girl.
05:52You probably think I'm a coward.
05:54On the contrary.
05:56I think it takes courage to show yourself like that in society.
06:01Oh my God, the Germans.
06:03They are coming to the mass.
06:05Calm down, I will cover you.
06:08Mademoiselle, a dance?
06:10But I do not dance.
06:12There is no fear, I will lead you.
06:23Are they watching us?
06:25Calm down, just be natural.
06:28Do what I can.
06:31We'll dance a little, then I'll take my little tank
06:35to the house to wait for the event.
06:40Lieutenant, do you know the steps?
06:43Of course.
06:49Please, leave me with my friends.
06:52You are not dressed appropriately for the tank,
06:54it is better to warm it up first.
06:56If I have to beat him, tell me.
06:58I'll call the girls.
07:05I do not know who I'm calling a duel.
07:07You, the leader of the escape group.
07:10Let me kiss the ends of your curls.
07:13Please, let me.
07:16Please, Monsieur Alphonse, you're pressuring me.
07:19Tell me what to do.
07:21I'll follow you everywhere.
07:24In a minute, I'll go to the girls' room.
07:30Madame, I can not stay between you and this ...
07:37the bravest man in France.
07:39From now on, I will admire you from afar.
07:43Goodbye to everyone.
07:45Vive l'enfance!
07:47Vive de Gaulle!
07:49Who?
07:50Do you know de Gaulle? He is with a big beak.
07:54Of course, Vive de Gaulle.
07:59Thank God, he's gone.
08:01That's good for you, but what am I going to tell my friends?
08:04I can not live with a coward.
08:07You will explain to them.
08:09You will tell them that in the duel,
08:11a big bee got into his pants,
08:14and he jumped into the river.
08:17The nearest river is five kilometers away.
08:20The bee was very big.
08:24René?
08:26Helga is here. She wants to see you.
08:28She's in trouble.
08:30One more thing before you go.
08:32The wind is coming.
08:34When the moon rises, you will put your faces by the balloon.
08:37Where are they now?
08:39Hello!
08:42We will disappear like phantoms at night.
08:45All right.
08:49Come in.
08:51René, the colonel and the captain have been arrested by the Gestapo.
08:55They are being held in prison at the castle.
09:00What was that?
09:02Phantoms falling into a coffin for laughter.
09:05Soon they will be interrogated.
09:07Herr Flick always gets to the bottom of things.
09:10I am honest. I did not do anything.
09:13You are hiding a salami with the original of Madonna,
09:16with the big bombs from Van Klomp,
09:18whose copy is in the Gestapo salami in the kitchen,
09:20for which Herr Flick believes that it is the original,
09:23which should have been sent to Hitler,
09:25and which did not arrive,
09:27because it was replaced with another salami,
09:29and exploded, of course.
09:31They may reveal this through torture.
09:34Will they remember it?
09:38Come on. We have to help them right away.
09:41Oh, God, I cannot find this.
09:43Why not?
09:44I have been disguised as a girl.
09:46How dare you say that in your free time?
09:49This is your job.
09:55Not so fast.
09:57My name is Engelbert von Smallhausen of the Gestapo.
10:02I am here to speak with René Artois,
10:06the boss.
10:08Oh, what a pity.
10:10You are very late.
10:12This is my day off.
10:14The engine is warm, René. Let's go.
10:19So, you are René Artois.
10:24Why are you disguised as a woman from the other sex?
10:29I was going to a gay party.
10:32You will come with me.
10:34I will take you to the Gestapo prison.
10:37Would you like to take your personal belongings?
10:41Just my bag.
10:45You are Lieutenant Helga Gerhardt?
10:48I am.
10:49Herr Flick orders you to also attend.
10:53Please, come with me.
10:57Oh, this is terrible.
10:59What shall we do?
11:01We shall act through the Gestapo.
11:04Who are you talking to?
11:06General von Klinkerhofen.
11:08Allo? Allo?
11:28Hans, what are you doing?
11:30I am pulling out the cement.
11:32I want to pull out this piece of shit.
11:35Don't be stupid.
11:37Count Monte Cristo did it.
11:39It took him 20 years.
11:42The movie started before he entered the hall.
11:50What do you think will happen to us?
11:53Who knows?
11:55They are having a terrible time with the women.
11:59Colonel, why don't you tell him about your salami?
12:03If I tell him,
12:06he will understand that we stole the original
12:10to sell it after the war.
12:12Why do you have to be afraid of the war?
12:15Why don't you just fight and that's it?
12:17René, I want you to promise me
12:20that if we ever get out of here
12:22you won't meet people from the opposition.
12:25And I won't arrest too many Frenchmen.
12:29And then we can all live normally.
12:33I was trying to be high and then die
12:35when I was arrested.
12:37So I see.
12:40Put your stupid hat on.
12:48So?
12:51Have you tried to talk yet?
12:53We know nothing, Herr Flick.
12:55This empty salami is a mystery to us.
12:58Helga brought it by train.
13:00Helga has been mainly interrogated
13:04and has revealed nothing new.
13:08Helga, I think we should light another fire.
13:12As you command, Herr Flick.
13:15Take some of this.
13:21Yes, Herr Flick.
13:25That is more like it.
13:27You are exaggerating.
13:30The Gestapo can't command the highest officers in the army.
13:34Nor the niches.
13:36What about the restaurateurs?
13:38They can do whatever they want.
13:40I do not know why you are crying.
13:43You are a temporary guest
13:45in a well-equipped and soundproofed prison.
13:49What is more,
13:51I heard that you have been executed for a salami
13:54which is a variable of the highest officers
13:57and we treat it very seriously as a high command.
14:01I will return very soon.
14:03But I do hope...
14:05I said you talk!
14:16A note.
14:18I knew it was Helga.
14:20Helga will have a plan.
14:22What does it say?
14:24It says...
14:25Have you got a plan?
14:27I do not often do it,
14:29but I am willing to pray.
14:32We should all join in.
14:34Hans.
14:42Who prayed for that?
14:46It is coming from the shaft.
14:54Oh, it smells like a sewer.
15:00I am Leclerc.
15:03The wind in the sewer is terrible.
15:06What are you doing here?
15:08I am bringing a message from Michel.
15:11What is the message?
15:13It is only for René.
15:15It does not matter. Tell him what it is.
15:17Michel is asking if you have a plan.
15:20Of course we do not.
15:22In that case,
15:24you are out of luck.
15:27Come back!
15:28Too bad we are not little enough to get through this hole.
15:31Someone else is coming.
15:33René?
15:35It is me, Maria.
15:37I came to get the goods.
15:39We have to pray.
15:41Kiss me for the last time.
15:44It is uncomfortable in front of the colonel and the captain.
15:48Stick your head in the hole and fix it.
15:53I do not understand what attracts them to this man.
15:55He has nice legs.
15:58René, I am Ivette.
16:00Another one.
16:01I have brought you a ring.
16:03A ring?
16:04The one with the poison in it.
16:07Here.
16:09If all else fails, take it.
16:12You will feel no pain.
16:14You will die instantly.
16:16How thoughtful of you.
16:18René, I have saved one for myself.
16:21I cannot live without you.
16:24Do not take it yet, Ivette.
16:28He has a better time than us.
16:30No need to kiss in the canal.
16:34That is it.
16:35Here they are.
16:36Thank you, René.
16:37One for each.
16:38Colonel, we gave this ring to René, not us.
16:42Yes, that is right.
16:45Someone is coming.
16:46Hide them, René.
16:48René, what are you doing?
16:51The girls smeared my lipstick.
16:57Do you want to speak?
16:59I advise you not to speak.
17:02Very well.
17:03Helga, the wheel.
17:06The wheel?
17:09I will take care of the organ.
17:12Organ?
17:26Good.
17:27Before we start,
17:29do you have any last wishes?
17:32Blue skies to all.
17:35Helga, turn it.
17:47Where is the girl?
17:50The demon will kill us.
17:52Where is the girl?
17:53I do not hear you.
17:54Where is the girl?
17:56Hurry, the girl.
18:05Go on.
18:07We told you, she is the girl.
18:09It is not enough.
18:11Helga, what are you doing?
18:13I am sorry, colonel.
18:15I am following orders.
18:17Stand with your shoulders out.
18:19Hans, what are you doing there?
18:21They are waiting for you to reach my shoulders.
18:25Don't you find these chords exciting?
18:29You missed one note.
18:31Can you go back a little?
18:33Go on, Helga.
18:35Play it, Herr Fick.
18:39See?
18:40No hands.
18:44Hans,
18:45it's time to take the pills.
18:48The pills?
18:49No way.
18:52Nothing is missing.
18:54One more moment.
18:57I have to pay at the headquarters.
19:00Goodbye, colonel.
19:02General von Klinkerhofen.
19:08Heil Hitler!
19:11What does this mean?
19:13These men are traitors to the Reich.
19:16They have stolen the salami,
19:18in which the painting of the sinful Madonna
19:20with the big bombs was shown,
19:22and sent to Berlin.
19:23The salami they replaced
19:25was blown up by the French resistance,
19:29but the investigation shows
19:31that there was no painting in it.
19:35The salami contained...
19:38only salami.
19:41And on the basis of this evidence
19:43you are crushing a colonel
19:46and a captain,
19:47as well as a modest French girl.
19:51My authority is given by Berlin.
19:54My authority is given by this gun.
19:57Release them.
19:58Very well.
19:59Temporary authority.
20:02But I want to warn you
20:04that Heinrich Himmler is my cousin.
20:07And my mother-in-law is Hermann Göring's lover.
20:11Hermann Göring has many lovers.
20:14My mother-in-law is the one
20:16who wears a leather white coat.
20:22Well done.
20:24Turn the wheel back.
20:26Yes, Herr Flick.
20:27So you are a participant.
20:28No, I was fulfilling orders.
20:31Turn the wheel.
20:35Oh dear.
20:36What are we going to do now?
20:39Unlucky fools.
20:45Ladies first.
20:50Edith!
20:51Edith!
20:52Oh, Edith!
20:53Why don't you hear my calls for help?
20:57I am here, ma'am.
20:59I have just been to the church to light a candle.
21:02For what?
21:03I have just been to the church to light a candle for Heine.
21:06I fear that he is no longer among us.
21:09Very well.
21:12You need to dress up as a funeral agent
21:15while he is still a miracle.
21:17I can't think about that now.
21:21I'd rather have my face ripped off.
21:26My little Edith.
21:28You are so stubborn.
21:35Take me to London.
21:37I want to talk to them.
21:42Edith,
21:43who is this bad Efren guy?
21:47He is an expert on escaping from London.
21:50Are things so bad in London?
21:55What is happening?
21:57My room is full of parasites.
22:02Yes, but we are not dressed like that in a balloon.
22:05We will suffocate under the bullets.
22:08Oh, Edith!
22:10I see the holy balls.
22:16This is London.
22:18Help me.
22:22Quickly.
22:23Get the book with the code while I deepen the radio.
22:31Hello, hello.
22:32This is Mrs. Nostradamus.
22:35Where is the wind coming from?
22:38I repeat.
22:39Where is the wind coming from?
22:42From where the wind always blows.
22:45What?
22:47The wind is from the south-east.
22:49Three knots of wind all the time.
22:52Tonight is the night.
22:54Bring the lanterns.
22:56When you are off the coast,
22:58flash them, over.
23:01Edith!
23:02René is free and he will come back.
23:05René is free?
23:06Edith, quickly to the church.
23:08Turn off the candles.
23:10He will give you back part of the money.
23:15Oh, René!
23:16Thank God you are alive.
23:19I can't believe you are sitting next to me
23:22with this hat,
23:24this wig,
23:25this dress,
23:27and these white pants.
23:30Oh, yes.
23:31Thank God it's all over.
23:34And we learned from the colonel that from now on
23:37everything has to be normal.
23:45Listen carefully.
23:47I won't repeat it.
23:49There is an order to take the English pilots to the balloon.
23:52They are leaving tonight.
23:54But that is not possible.
23:56On the order of General Klinkerhoven,
23:58the colonel and the captain
24:00are performing the maneuvers that were cancelled.
24:03The town is surrounded by German soldiers.
24:05There is a police watch.
24:07Some of their activities are illegal.
24:10Everything is in order.
24:12I have a plan.
24:14Now she has a plan.
24:16Why didn't you have a plan when I was in this
24:18trash can?
24:26You don't know what an honor it is for me
24:29to help you, Monsieur René,
24:31the bravest man in France.
24:34I have a plan.
24:36I have a plan.
24:38The bravest man in France
24:41who escaped death in the Gestapo
24:44and without being hit in the eye,
24:46is now helping the British pilots
24:49to escape.
24:52I am quite an image, eh?
24:57Someone is knocking on the door.
25:09What are you knocking on, Cuckoo?
25:11Are you dead?
25:13Go to the bathroom.
25:16You will suffer.
25:18This is not a catafalque with a bathroom.
25:21Don't talk to my mother like that.
25:23You must be good to her.
25:25The idea to be a corpse was yours.
25:27She was the most suitable.
25:29Go back to your place.
25:31Forward.
25:33Go!
25:34Easy.
25:38Easy.
25:52Not much left, boys.
25:54Is it? Is it?
25:55Cruel.
25:57Germans on the horizon.
26:01Is the road blocked?
26:03Someone has broken the police watch.
26:06The funerals are allowed, Colonel.
26:10I wonder what René is looking for first.
26:14And why the two corpses in the second catafalque
26:17sit and talk to each other.
26:22Colonel,
26:23probably René will later get rid of the British pilots.
26:27To make life the most post-normal.
26:31Hans, tell the sergeant to let them go.
26:37This is a funeral.
26:39We're burying a few corpses.
26:45Corpses?
26:47Dead corpses in the cafés.
26:50Let them go.
26:52Let them go!
26:55Let them go!
27:06Stop!
27:08Stop!
27:18What is this?
27:20A funeral, Herr General.
27:23Let's go.
27:41Open the coffin.
27:49It is my brother's house.
27:51He died of a plague.
27:54What plague?
27:57A plague that kills my brother's parents.
28:01Open the coffin.
28:09If this spreads across Europe, we'll cut it.
28:12Hurry up.
28:15Go on.
28:21Go on.
28:36Thank you very much.
28:39Keep pumping, Kerstes.
28:41I think we're pretty near to the end of it.
28:43I'll let folks of Africa know.
28:45Let's have a little fun.
28:48Well, goodbye.
28:50Goodbye.
28:52Thank you for everything.
28:55Goodbye.
29:00You must come visit us when you come to England.
29:05Goodbye.
29:14Your anxiety
29:17puts me on the trip, Captain Powell.
29:20Take me over there.
29:22The piolots have finished their work.
29:26Bye.
29:30Thank God.
29:31Now, life at the cafés isn't like it used to be.
29:33Everything will be fine.
29:36I want you back.
29:38I want you back.
29:42What a surprise.
29:45It's normal. It's possible.
29:49Goodbye.