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00:00:00I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going
00:00:30to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm
00:01:00going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it,
00:01:30I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I
00:02:00I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I'm going to have a look at it, I
00:02:30think she does a terrific job you did you. I'm sorry I thought I checked everything. Daddy I just saw a man carrying a naked lady. Well that's why we're moving to Stepford.
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00:08:10She cooks as good as she looks, Ted.
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00:08:28What do you suppose the people are like here?
00:08:30Friendly.
00:08:32That was a good casserole she cooked.
00:08:34Why did we move?
00:08:35We both agreed it was best.
00:08:37I mean, it's best for the kids.
00:08:39And, uh...
00:08:41Well, it's best for you.
00:08:43You know, I mean, you got more space here.
00:08:44You make yourself a darkroom.
00:08:45It was time to move.
00:08:46You know, I got a terrific deal on this house.
00:08:49And because it's safe.
00:08:50And because, uh...
00:08:52I can warm my ass by a real fire.
00:08:55Those are all terrific reasons.
00:08:58You, uh, ever make it in front of a log fire?
00:09:02Not with you.
00:09:04Well, it comes with the house.
00:09:06It's part of the deal.
00:09:25You go sit in those empty seats.
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00:10:39Now, I also do the notes on newcomer's column
00:10:43for the weekly chronicle.
00:10:46You got the copy I left in the mailbox?
00:10:48Yes, thank you.
00:10:49Then you know my style.
00:10:51It's mainly for ladies.
00:10:53So you just go right ahead and tell me about yourself.
00:10:56Well, there's nothing much to tell, really.
00:10:59Uh, what does your husband do?
00:11:01He's a lawyer.
00:11:02Lawyer.
00:11:04Me, I'm a sort of hopeful, would-be,
00:11:08semi-professional photographer.
00:11:10What do you think you'll miss most about New York?
00:11:14Oh.
00:11:20Noise.
00:11:23Beeping.
00:11:26Beeping.
00:11:35Sirens.
00:11:46Beeping.
00:11:53Beeping.
00:11:56Beeping.
00:11:59Beeping.
00:12:02Beeping.
00:12:05Beeping.
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00:12:54Well, I don't know who the guy was,
00:12:56but I'm assuming it was Mr. Van Sant.
00:13:00Well, what time was it?
00:13:01Mid-morning, way before noon.
00:13:04Well, they sure start early in Stetford, don't they?
00:13:07You mean the guy just walked up behind her
00:13:09and he put his hands on her boobs?
00:13:12Well, how'd he do it exactly?
00:13:14Was it like this, or was it like this?
00:13:17You're getting all swampy.
00:13:19I'm just trying to get the facts straight.
00:13:21It's my legal mind.
00:13:22Your sexy mind.
00:13:23Stetford has really done things to you.
00:13:25Well, I'd like to christen every room in the house
00:13:27before I pay off the mortgage.
00:13:28Just finish the dishes first.
00:13:30Tell me about your day.
00:13:32Well, I didn't witness any soft-core porno like you,
00:13:35so it's dull by comparison, but...
00:13:38Well, I did meet some of the other Stetford commuters.
00:13:42You want coffee?
00:13:43Ah, thank you.
00:13:44Oh, I haven't gone shopping yet.
00:13:46Oh, regular will be all right.
00:13:48They seem like a bright bunch of guys.
00:13:50I mean, they have a nice thing going here.
00:13:54They were telling me about the men's association.
00:13:57Apparently it's a thing to join.
00:13:58I mean, it's quite an honor to be invited to join.
00:14:01Why is it an honor?
00:14:02Why is it an honor?
00:14:04Because practically every important guy in town's a member.
00:14:07Commuters and townies.
00:14:09I mean, everybody.
00:14:10The TV executives, the shrinks, the scientists,
00:14:12the police chief, the fire chief, the head of the hospital,
00:14:15the guy who runs the phone company.
00:14:16So did they ask you?
00:14:18Did they ask me?
00:14:20Yes, Walter.
00:14:21Am I going crazy?
00:14:22You keep repeating the questions.
00:14:23Did they ask you?
00:14:25Well, in a way, yes.
00:14:27In a way you could refuse, or in a way you had to accept.
00:14:30Well, they said I had a good chance of getting in,
00:14:32which I felt good about.
00:14:34I have to admit, though, that there's one rule
00:14:37that I don't much care for,
00:14:40but apparently it's going to be changed
00:14:43in, oh, six months or something.
00:14:45What rule is that?
00:14:48Well, right now it's strictly men only.
00:14:53I give up on you.
00:14:56Well, what's that supposed to mean?
00:14:58Why don't you ever once just tell me the truth?
00:15:01You pretend we decide things together,
00:15:02but it's always you, what you want.
00:15:04You asked me if I wanted to move out here,
00:15:06and I found you'd already been looking at a house.
00:15:08You asked me if I liked this place,
00:15:10and I found you'd already made a down payment.
00:15:12Now you're asking me about the Lousy Men's Association,
00:15:14and it's quite obvious you've already joined.
00:15:18Why bother to ask me at all?
00:15:21I'm going to put the kids to bed.
00:15:33Amy, it's Kim.
00:15:36Come on, Daddy's waiting.
00:15:38Yes, we made it. Come on. Come on.
00:15:40Ladies, we have specials today on Metro Millers,
00:15:43English Walnuts, and Avocados.
00:15:45That's all set.
00:15:47How much is it?
00:15:49Walter, wait, wait. Walter, have you made it out?
00:15:51Yeah, I just made it out. Why?
00:15:53Janet, go check out four more.
00:15:55Oh, my God.
00:15:57You can bring it separately.
00:15:59All right, okay.
00:16:03Come on.
00:16:15Okay, Mrs. Sanderson.
00:16:18Hold it a second, Mrs. Sanderson.
00:16:25Okay, come on.
00:16:27Watch it!
00:16:30Shit.
00:16:32Oh, my God, Carol. I didn't see you.
00:16:34I thought it was clear.
00:16:36Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:16:39Oh, no, it's nothing, really.
00:16:41It's just a surprise.
00:16:43I'm fine. It's just my head.
00:16:45It wasn't my fault. I didn't mean nothing.
00:16:47It was just one of those things, you know?
00:16:49No, I'm fine.
00:16:51It wasn't my fault.
00:16:53You know, I didn't see the car coming.
00:16:55It came right. It wasn't my fault.
00:16:58It wasn't my fault.
00:17:11I'm fine. I'm really fine.
00:17:23Get an ambulance down here right away.
00:17:25We had an accident in the parking lot.
00:17:28Get it down here right away in the parking lot.
00:17:31What are you talking about?
00:17:33I'm looking at it. I can see it right now.
00:17:35Get it down here right away.
00:17:37Don't give me a hard time.
00:17:39Oh, this is all so silly.
00:17:41I'm fine. It's not serious.
00:17:43What can I do, Carol? Tell me.
00:17:45Oh, my groceries. I'll take them home for you.
00:17:47And could you call Larson's garage?
00:17:49Larson's garage, of course.
00:17:51This is all so silly.
00:17:53It's just my head.
00:17:55Oh, this is all so silly.
00:17:58It's just my head.
00:18:00Poor Carol. She's such a nice person.
00:18:12You think you'd get ambulance service
00:18:14better than this anywhere else?
00:18:16Two hours you'd wait in New York.
00:18:18And I bet even in Scarsdale that it'd take 45 minutes.
00:18:21Six minutes.
00:18:23Any of the rest of you want to have an accident,
00:18:25make sure you do it right here in Stepford.
00:18:27Okay.
00:18:29Well, I guess that's the friendliest accident I ever saw.
00:18:32You know, we may be new here,
00:18:34but isn't Stepford Hospital that way?
00:18:36Oh, no, no, no. You're wrong.
00:18:39No, no.
00:18:41You're not wrong.
00:18:43The ambulance went that way, didn't it?
00:18:52Oh.
00:19:06Mommy?
00:19:10Mommy?
00:19:13What is it?
00:19:16What is it, sweetie?
00:19:20I think Teddy's gonna cry all night.
00:19:24Oh, no. Look.
00:19:27He's happy. Look at...
00:19:29No, that's his unhappy face.
00:19:32He don't like it here.
00:19:34He's gonna be crying all night.
00:19:36What do you think has upset him?
00:19:38He doesn't like this room.
00:19:40What do you think has upset him?
00:19:42He doesn't like this room.
00:19:45Oh, yes, he does.
00:19:48He told me he loves it here.
00:19:51He loves the quiet.
00:19:56He's thinking about all the honey he can get out in the trees here.
00:20:02He told me he liked it even better than Central Park
00:20:05because he can take them.
00:20:07He walks by himself and he doesn't have to worry about getting lost.
00:20:12He's really a Stepford Bear.
00:20:15He really knows his way around.
00:20:37Oh, no.
00:21:08Walter?
00:21:10Are you all right?
00:21:13Yeah.
00:21:15It's awfully late.
00:21:26Everything go okay at the initiation?
00:21:32Yeah.
00:21:35It wasn't an initiation.
00:21:37It's not a college fraternity.
00:21:40They just showed me around the place
00:21:42and they asked me if I wanted to join,
00:21:44and I said, yes, I did.
00:21:46Good. Walter, I was worried.
00:21:49I wake up. It's the middle of the night.
00:21:51You're sitting here alone, drinking.
00:21:53Why are you sitting here?
00:21:55Why didn't you come to bed?
00:22:00I'm coming to bed.
00:22:02I'm coming to bed.
00:22:04Did anybody say something to upset you?
00:22:06I'm not upset.
00:22:08There's nothing to be upset about.
00:22:11Everything's fine.
00:22:13It's not fine.
00:22:15I was worried. Walter, I love you.
00:22:17But you expect me to be a mind reader.
00:22:26I love you.
00:22:29I really love you.
00:22:32Do you know that?
00:22:34I really do.
00:22:36I know I screwed this whole thing up.
00:22:39You didn't want to move here.
00:22:41I'll get over it. I've already gotten over it.
00:22:44Do you understand that I really love you?
00:22:47Yes.
00:22:54Let's go to bed.
00:23:02I feel like I'm getting old.
00:23:04You're not getting old.
00:23:06No.
00:23:08I feel like it.
00:23:15Hi!
00:23:18Are you Joanna Eberhardt?
00:23:20Yes.
00:23:22The Joanna Eberhardt?
00:23:24Avid Shutterbug, ex-Galphamite...
00:23:27who misses the noise of the Naked City?
00:23:29Yes.
00:23:31Whoo-hoo!
00:23:33Hey, boy, am I glad to see you.
00:23:36Hi. I'm Bobby.
00:23:38Bobby Marco.
00:23:40That's upward mobility for Markowitz.
00:23:42I'm also an ex-Galphamite...
00:23:44who's been living here in Ajax country...
00:23:46for just over a month now.
00:23:48And I'm going crazy.
00:23:50You see, doctor, my problem is that...
00:23:52given complete freedom of choice...
00:23:54I don't want to squeeze the goddamn Charmin.
00:23:56Anyway, I saw your name here.
00:23:58I hope you don't think I'm...
00:24:00Oh, no.
00:24:02It was fantastic.
00:24:04I think you've got a headline.
00:24:06Wait a minute.
00:24:08You've got a headline on this page.
00:24:10Here she is.
00:24:12Eberhardt moves to Stemford.
00:24:14I knew you were fantastic.
00:24:16Have I seen any of your pictures in magazines?
00:24:18I doubt it.
00:24:20You're terrific.
00:24:22I don't know, but I think I do know you.
00:24:24I'm glad to have a friend.
00:24:26Listen, you want to go and have something to drink?
00:24:28Eat.
00:24:30Eat? Okay.
00:24:32I've got all this junk here.
00:24:34Got any smokes?
00:24:36Oh!
00:24:38Have you really got film in those things?
00:24:40Oh, yes.
00:24:42I'm the very avid shutterbug.
00:24:44Oh, yeah.
00:24:46Listen, I really tell you the truth.
00:24:48Ordinarily, I don't pay any attention to that newspaper...
00:24:50because it's full of it, you know?
00:24:52I know.
00:24:54Oh, I didn't. Walter did.
00:24:56Ah, yeah, figures.
00:24:58Dave brought us here because of land values.
00:25:00He's best in bed when the market's up.
00:25:02I think I'll break into Walter's scotch.
00:25:04Hey, hey, hey!
00:25:06You know something? I'm gonna like you.
00:25:08Yeah.
00:25:10Oh, a messy kitchen.
00:25:12It's beautiful.
00:25:14A home away from home.
00:25:16Oh, my.
00:25:18Of course, it doesn't compare to mine.
00:25:20You haven't got any of those magnificent peanut butter
00:25:22handprints all over your cabinets yet.
00:25:24But then you're new here,
00:25:26and Stepford wasn't ruined in a day.
00:25:28Hello, I see.
00:25:30Hey, you want a ring ding?
00:25:32I smuggled it over the border.
00:25:34What year is it?
00:25:3659, a collector's item.
00:25:38It'd be great with scotch.
00:25:40Yeah.
00:25:42Two things I always carry, tampax and ring dings.
00:25:44And I don't even want to think what that means.
00:25:46I'll tell you.
00:25:48Thanks.
00:25:50Mates have been declared illegal,
00:25:52and the housewife with the neatest place
00:25:54gets Robert Redford for Christmas.
00:25:56And believe me, if that's the prize, I'd enter,
00:25:58but nobody'll tell what the contest rules are.
00:26:00Cheers.
00:26:02Not to mention that creepy men's association.
00:26:04Yours, too?
00:26:06Every night.
00:26:08Dave wouldn't miss.
00:26:10What do you think they do up there?
00:26:12Watch dirty movies and reminisce about the good old days.
00:26:14What good old days?
00:26:16Like those good old days when Playboy used the airbrush.
00:26:18Ring dings and scotch.
00:26:20Great combination.
00:26:22We may have started something.
00:26:24I'll drink to that. Cheers.
00:26:26Totally disgusting.
00:26:28Don't you like it?
00:26:30I don't know which one I like the best.
00:26:32You're very honest. That's what I like about you.
00:26:34It's awful.
00:26:36Hey, it's me.
00:26:38And I'm here,
00:26:40and I'm on the new projects committee.
00:26:42Yeah, new projects.
00:26:44Well, how would you feel
00:26:46about some of the guys meeting in our house?
00:26:48Well, like now, tonight.
00:26:50Well, okay.
00:26:52Yeah, that'd be great.
00:26:54I'd actually get to see you
00:26:56and some living people.
00:26:58I mean, I'd like that.
00:27:00I'd like that.
00:27:02I'd like that.
00:27:04I'd actually get to see you
00:27:06and some living people.
00:27:08Give me a few minutes, huh?
00:27:10We'll be along in about 20 minutes.
00:27:12Bye-bye.
00:27:14She'd love it.
00:27:16Good.
00:27:18You're not altogether sure
00:27:20about Steppenwolf yet, are you, Walter?
00:27:24No, no, that's not true.
00:27:26I, uh... I think I am.
00:27:28It's, uh...
00:27:30It's a big change.
00:27:32You've got to admit that.
00:27:34A change for the better, Walter.
00:27:50See, I intend to really
00:27:52fix this place up, you know?
00:27:54I thought I'd, uh...
00:27:56make it into a sort of
00:27:58a Dan Coombe playroom.
00:28:00Maybe I'll put the pool table
00:28:02right over there.
00:28:04I thought I'd go to town, you know,
00:28:06really spoil myself.
00:28:08It'd be great for the kids.
00:28:10Who's talking about the kids?
00:28:12This is a playroom.
00:28:14They ain't gonna be allowed in.
00:28:16Yeah.
00:28:30I like to watch women
00:28:32doing little domestic chores.
00:28:36You came to the right town.
00:28:40Who was the one, uh,
00:28:42wanted tea?
00:28:44Claude.
00:28:46Claude Axel.
00:28:50He's the one who...
00:28:52Stutters.
00:28:54I'm not good on names.
00:28:56Why do they call you Diz?
00:28:58Why do they call you Diz?
00:29:00Because I used to work at Disneyland.
00:29:02No, really.
00:29:04Not really. Don't you believe me?
00:29:06No.
00:29:08Why not?
00:29:10You don't look like someone
00:29:12who enjoys making other people happy.
00:29:20It was on the market for about six months.
00:29:22No kidding.
00:29:24In that six months?
00:29:26Oh, thank you.
00:29:28Uh, oh, you know, I'm...
00:29:30I'm really into, uh, speech work.
00:29:32Uh, words.
00:29:34Perhaps we might talk about it sometime.
00:29:36Oh, yes, certainly. Absolutely.
00:29:38Let's get you a napkin.
00:29:42I hope your wife
00:29:44has gotten over the accident.
00:29:46It was your wife, wasn't it?
00:29:48Oh, yeah, yes.
00:29:50It was nothing.
00:29:52It looked worse than it was.
00:29:54I should go and see her.
00:29:56I should have done it before.
00:29:58She'd like that.
00:30:00Shall we make a start?
00:30:02Is it all right if Joanna sits in?
00:30:04Definitely. I'm sure she's got a lot to contribute.
00:30:06Oh, um...
00:30:08You want me to get you
00:30:10a more comfortable chair, hon?
00:30:12No, it's okay.
00:30:14My drink?
00:30:16Excuse me.
00:30:18Well, we all know what we're here for,
00:30:20so who's gonna be the first genius?
00:30:22Maybe, uh, Christmas toys
00:30:24for the under...
00:30:26for the poor kids.
00:30:28For Christ's sake, Claude, it's only May.
00:30:30Yeah, well, uh, I guess
00:30:32it's a little early to start thinking about Christmas.
00:30:34I'm frankly more interested
00:30:36in the overprivileged kids.
00:30:38Like my son hated camp,
00:30:40so naturally Charmaine won't hear of him going back.
00:30:42What's he gonna do all summer besides drive me batty?
00:30:44I thought we might try
00:30:46a tag sale here this year.
00:30:48Sure, put a tag on all his toys,
00:30:50That's a good idea.
00:30:52Oh, wow.
00:30:54I mean, everybody's got something
00:30:56around the house that they don't need,
00:30:58and we can sell that.
00:31:00Barn dance. Barn dance?
00:31:02Well, that went out in the 40s.
00:31:04I think a barn dance would be a good idea.
00:31:06Well, I'd like it anyway.
00:31:08Wait a minute, you're talking about a square dance, aren't you?
00:31:10Is that what you mean, a square dance?
00:31:12I like to see you doing the calls.
00:31:14Yeah.
00:31:16You have a marvelous sense of humor.
00:31:18Hey, wait.
00:31:20Anybody ever heard of a cakewalk?
00:31:22A cakewalk?
00:31:24Yeah, a cakewalk.
00:31:26A cakewalk is not a dance.
00:31:28It's a thing where
00:31:30all the women bring over cakes, you see,
00:31:32and then you draw this circle on the floor,
00:31:34and you've got numbers,
00:31:36and everybody circles.
00:31:38Now, look, could we just get back to the original subject?
00:31:40Now, I brought up the possibility of a tag sale.
00:31:42Do you think we can go through with that or not?
00:31:44I thought we'd talked about it.
00:31:46Well, nobody said whether they really were for or against a tag sale.
00:31:48Well, he said something about a barn dance.
00:31:50You want to do a barn dance or a tag sale?
00:31:52Well, then, we even suggested the possibility of putting the barn dance
00:31:54and the tag sale together at the same time.
00:31:56Ted, Ted, wait a minute.
00:31:58You have a better idea about the town,
00:32:00about what we'll do tonight, don't you?
00:32:02I would go for the sale,
00:32:04because if we could get somebody's garage,
00:32:06we could do it.
00:32:08Now, whose garage could we use?
00:32:10I have to tell you that.
00:32:12We've always run the club democratically,
00:32:14and you are full of crap.
00:32:16It's not my fault.
00:32:18Because, Claude...
00:32:20And I want to tell you that I'm going to discuss it
00:32:22about the way you guys are handling yourselves in this meeting.
00:32:24Well, now, wait a minute, Ted.
00:32:26We're just trying to get some ideas for you.
00:32:28I think you ought to appoint me chairman.
00:32:30I'll run the whole thing.
00:32:32If you run the whole thing, you're going to alienate everybody in this town.
00:32:34And if I can't do it, my wife Charmaine will.
00:32:36Excuse me. Let me see if I kind of get the consensus of all this.
00:32:40You really are more interested in one kind of big event
00:32:42rather than a lot of little ones?
00:32:44Is that fair to say?
00:32:46I mean, a tag sale and all that nonsense is really not appropriate, is it?
00:32:50I mean, you want something big,
00:32:52because we have a real need here for some...
00:32:54Well, you know, I think this has been a very successful meeting.
00:32:57Don't you?
00:32:59I think we've got enough things that we can present to the meeting, you know.
00:33:01When is the next meeting?
00:33:03I'm going to go check on the children.
00:33:05Excuse me?
00:33:12Thank you.
00:33:26Oh, are you still driving that big Lincoln?
00:33:28Yeah, yeah.
00:33:30Well, you should have traded it in years ago.
00:33:32Well, if you drive the way you talk, you're going to have a lot of accidents, I'll tell you that.
00:33:37Anybody else want a nightcap?
00:33:39Give me a decent brandy, will you, instead of this cooking sherry?
00:33:46In case you're wondering what I've been doing.
00:33:49You're not the Ike Mazard, are you?
00:33:51I'm afraid so.
00:33:53Walter, tell him I'm just awful on names.
00:33:55You'll have to forgive me.
00:33:57I used to gawk at all those girls in those magazines.
00:33:59You blighted my adolescence, you know that.
00:34:01I thought I blighted your adolescence.
00:34:04I can't get over this.
00:34:06Is this for me?
00:34:08Keep it. I'll insure it.
00:34:10Thank you so much.
00:34:12My pleasure.
00:34:14Here you are, Ike.
00:34:16See what you missed?
00:34:18Oh, yeah.
00:34:20It's very good around the eyes.
00:34:29You've been a long time.
00:34:32I'm just clearing up some things.
00:34:35I can't stand to come down in the morning to a bunch of filthy ashtrays.
00:34:39What do you think? Nice bunch of guys, huh?
00:34:42You serious?
00:34:44You have to be kidding.
00:34:46You wouldn't have given those whores the time of day back in Manhattan.
00:34:55I mean, okay.
00:34:57I was pleased to get this, and he was quite sweet.
00:35:00But the rest...
00:35:02Well, I don't happen to agree.
00:35:04You must agree.
00:35:06My God, they're worse than your senior partners.
00:35:08New projects committee.
00:35:10They ought to start by working on themselves.
00:35:12Well, that's your opinion.
00:35:14Well, of course it's my opinion. Who else sat there?
00:35:16Where's your sense of humor?
00:35:18They were dummies.
00:35:20I mean, take El Presidente, that graduate of Disneyland.
00:35:23Well, he just happens to be a Ph.D. from Berkeley.
00:35:26He runs a multimillion-dollar corporation.
00:35:28What do they make, sleeping pills?
00:35:30Look, this isn't me, and what you're saying isn't you.
00:35:33What are you talking about?
00:35:35No. No.
00:35:41Look, this is Stepford.
00:35:43It's not New York.
00:35:45These are the people we have to live with, and they suit me.
00:36:04Thank you.
00:36:15You gonna be around later?
00:36:17Okay.
00:36:19Got a drink, sir?
00:36:21Yeah?
00:36:23Hey, listen, Marie, you wanna go for a swim later?
00:36:25Marie, huh?
00:36:27Oh, yes, I'd love that, Bill. Thank you very much.
00:36:29I haven't forgotten you.
00:36:32My mother.
00:36:34How are you? Nice to see you.
00:36:36Good to see you.
00:36:38Ed is having a hell of a time down there with Bobby.
00:36:40Give him a hand, will you?
00:36:42Okay, sure, we'll go down and give him a hand.
00:36:47Get some drinks down in the pool right away.
00:37:02Here we go. There it is.
00:37:12Mm-hmm.
00:37:14Can you believe all this?
00:37:17For a bachelor, old Diz must be quite a catch.
00:37:20What do you say we go home and change?
00:37:22Like, put on fancy dress?
00:37:24Absolutely not.
00:37:26Hello. Hello.
00:37:28How are you? Fine, thank you.
00:37:30Lovely party.
00:37:32Yes.
00:37:39Did you get a look at the food?
00:37:41How about photographing it for a Save the Children poster?
00:37:43Like Walter says, it's all so dazzling.
00:37:45Why don't I like it?
00:37:47I mean, I like it. It's perfect.
00:37:49How could you not like it?
00:37:51I just don't like it. Am I making any sense?
00:37:53Well, hi, you two.
00:37:55Hi.
00:37:57You want to come and meet some people?
00:37:59Oh, you haven't got a drink.
00:38:01I must get you a drink.
00:38:07Good shot.
00:38:09All right, this first, in a medium well.
00:38:11Don't use the tongs.
00:38:13No, that's right. Use that, will you?
00:38:15What is that? Is that medium?
00:38:17That's a medium. This is a rare.
00:38:19Mm.
00:38:21I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
00:38:23I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
00:38:39I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
00:38:54I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
00:39:17Walter, take over, will you?
00:39:19I'll take over.
00:39:21Walter, let's take over, will you?
00:39:24Okay?
00:39:29How many of these have you had?
00:39:32Don't you know you can't handle this stuff?
00:39:34Don't you remember what this stuff does to you?
00:39:37I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
00:39:40Why the hell do you need this in public?
00:39:44Come on, we'll just go and get a little coffee.
00:39:52Well, it was this problem I had, you see.
00:39:55I couldn't handle it, it was out of control.
00:40:00I guess that's one of the reasons
00:40:01Ted moved us to Stepford.
00:40:04The drinking was getting so bad and
00:40:06he blamed the city and all its pressures and
00:40:09I knew I shouldn't have touched the stuff,
00:40:11but I did and I'm sorry I ruined it all.
00:40:15You don't have to apologize, Carol.
00:40:17Not to us.
00:40:18We just felt that it was important
00:40:20that you two understand you being the newest in Stepford.
00:40:23We didn't want you getting the wrong opinion.
00:40:25We?
00:40:26Who is we?
00:40:28Oh, well, Ted, naturally, and Ike was there and
00:40:33he's so old and smart that after I'd sobered up some,
00:40:36we asked him and...
00:40:38You mean the men made you come and apologize like this?
00:40:40Oh, no.
00:40:42No, I wanted to, really.
00:40:45All they did was sort of confirm my feelings.
00:40:48Well, why don't you come in?
00:40:50Oh, no, no, I've got to get back.
00:40:52I've seen Charmaine and, well, I ought to get back.
00:41:09Incredible.
00:41:11Absolutely unbelievable.
00:41:14If I was forced to apologize every time
00:41:16I got smashed, I'd spend my whole life
00:41:18wandering around saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:41:24That is a lady that could use some help.
00:41:26I told you I messed a little bit
00:41:29with women's lib in New York.
00:41:31Didn't we all?
00:41:33I'm not contemplating any maiden-form bonfires,
00:41:37but they could certainly use something around here.
00:41:42Oh, yeah.
00:41:43You came?
00:41:45I'm game.
00:41:47Boy, am I game.
00:41:50Wow!
00:41:53Gee, it sounds like fun,
00:41:55but I've got three kids and the oldest is six,
00:41:57and that doesn't leave me with a whole lot of extra time.
00:42:01We really understand, Marie,
00:42:02and we're not after you to change your whole lifestyle,
00:42:06but doesn't it ever bother you
00:42:07that the most important organization
00:42:09in Stepford is the women's liberation movement?
00:42:12Doesn't it ever bother you
00:42:13that the most important organization in Stepford
00:42:15is sexually archaic?
00:42:17Ar, archaic?
00:42:20Old-fashioned, out of date.
00:42:23Does it ever bother me?
00:42:25Nope.
00:42:27I've never been much of a joiner, I'm afraid.
00:42:29I guess it's because I've just been so busy,
00:42:31what with baking and all that.
00:42:33This isn't any kind of a lifelong commitment we're after.
00:42:36We just want to see if there's any interest
00:42:37for some kind of activities in Stepford, that's all.
00:42:40Here, Joanna.
00:42:43I know I shouldn't say this, but I just love my brownies.
00:42:49I'm sorry, I just can't waste my spare moments
00:42:52on something like that.
00:42:54But you do go out sometimes, don't you?
00:42:56Go out?
00:42:58Of course I go out.
00:43:00I'm out now, aren't I?
00:43:03Which one do you like?
00:43:04Ooh, uh.
00:43:06I don't think either one.
00:43:08This is who?
00:43:09Arnelle.
00:43:10Husband owns the pharmacy, she works there sometimes.
00:43:13What I'd give for her chest.
00:43:19There's this thing they've invented, it's called mocking.
00:43:22Oh, doesn't interest me, I'm a natural-born barge.
00:43:37God, I just love that.
00:43:40All right, love it.
00:43:42Hey.
00:43:43Oh, yes.
00:43:44Mm-hmm.
00:43:46Yes.
00:43:48Oh, yes.
00:43:50Oh.
00:43:52Nobody's ever touched me the way you touch me.
00:43:57Oh, dear.
00:44:01Oh, you're the best, Frank.
00:44:04Oh, God, are you the best.
00:44:07Oh, dear.
00:44:12Oh, God.
00:44:17God, are you the best.
00:44:20You're the king, Frank.
00:44:23Oh, you're the champion, Frank.
00:44:25Oh, oh, oh, you're the master.
00:44:34Is this the right place?
00:44:35It must be, last house on Snowflake Lane.
00:44:37You're sure now?
00:44:38We don't want to strike out again.
00:44:40Oh, God, Frank, I'm sure, I'm sure.
00:44:43It must be awful, all your fault, too.
00:44:46I know, but this time I got us an invitation.
00:44:48Listen, her name's Charmaine Winpirus,
00:44:50and we were buying our kids' shoes,
00:44:52and I got to talking, and she said,
00:44:53come on over, it sounds interesting.
00:44:55The way we've been bombing out, I consider that a triumph.
00:44:58She said her court's in the back.
00:44:59Okay.
00:45:06Game.
00:45:08Five-one, let's change.
00:45:10Okay.
00:45:11God, this is fun.
00:45:14Ah, no.
00:45:17Oh, that was great.
00:45:18Oh, I haven't played in such a long time.
00:45:21Oh, you're good, you're really good.
00:45:23I can tell that, you just had to practice.
00:45:25Really.
00:45:26Hey, didn't you think she was terrific?
00:45:28I thought you were terrific.
00:45:31Oh, well, listen, play it my way.
00:45:34Oh, well, listen, play at my place anytime you want.
00:45:36I really mean that.
00:45:38God, Ginny Fisher used to play.
00:45:40She finked out on me.
00:45:42The only competition I've got left
00:45:43are two teenage boys with permanent erections.
00:45:46Send them to my place.
00:45:47Are you kidding?
00:45:48I'd be lost without them.
00:45:49Why don't you get a bit, give you some lessons.
00:45:52I'll give you a lesson.
00:45:54No.
00:45:55Come on, I need the work.
00:45:57Thank you, Nettie.
00:45:58Isn't Nettie marvelous?
00:46:00The German Virgo, their thing is, you know, to serve.
00:46:03Oh, that's why we won the war.
00:46:08Well, girls, I didn't get you here on false pretenses.
00:46:12Really, I'm interested.
00:46:13I'm no fanatic, but I'm really interested.
00:46:17Actually, we moved here about two months ago
00:46:20and Ed joins this men's association.
00:46:22Believe me, I know that it's unfair and sexist,
00:46:24but frankly, anything that gets him out of the house nights
00:46:28is fine with me.
00:46:29If we could get a consciousness-raising group going,
00:46:31you'd come?
00:46:33What?
00:46:34A consciousness-raising session.
00:46:37A bitching session, you mean.
00:46:39Sure, I agree.
00:46:40Like a shot, I'd come.
00:46:42You wouldn't believe what Ed tries putting me through.
00:46:46He has a rubber suit made for me in England.
00:46:48Ah, well.
00:46:50How about that, sports fans?
00:46:53What is a rubber suit?
00:46:55I'm an accent freak.
00:47:00I'm not sure why, probably on account of,
00:47:03I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I stammer.
00:47:06When you were young, you mean.
00:47:08No, no, still do.
00:47:10Just I work extra hard to control it.
00:47:13Now, here.
00:47:15I want you to write down every place you've ever lived
00:47:18from when you were born till now.
00:47:21And this is just standard vocabulary.
00:47:26See, just straight through the alphabet.
00:47:28A, back, abandon, like that.
00:47:32And this here's easy to operate.
00:47:35Just push the switch and talk into it.
00:47:39I think I can manage that, but what's this for?
00:47:43Just a lifelong hobby.
00:47:46Don't touch it.
00:47:47See, once I get enough samples,
00:47:48I aim to feed them all into a computer and program it.
00:47:53What I'll get back is an instant
00:47:55geographical rundown on a person.
00:47:57I really think it'll be more important
00:47:59than fingerprints in police work.
00:48:01That's very interesting, Claude.
00:48:04But it's too much work.
00:48:07We Stafford wives are busy, busy, busy.
00:48:09You know, like your wife.
00:48:11Is he going to take your fingerprints?
00:48:13No, sweetie.
00:48:14Just like your wife.
00:48:15Bobby and I tried to involve her in one of our projects,
00:48:19but she had too much irony.
00:48:21Maybe you could convince her.
00:48:24Kit Sunderson, too.
00:48:25If they could find the time for me,
00:48:28I could find it for you.
00:48:29Isn't this kind of blackmail, Joanna?
00:48:35It's what made this country great, Claude.
00:48:43Usually we start out bitching,
00:48:45but maybe if we're lucky,
00:48:47we can get into something more constructive.
00:48:52Anybody have any questions?
00:48:59Well, good.
00:49:01Then we might as well get started.
00:49:05Fine, terrific.
00:49:07Who wants to go first?
00:49:12Talk about anything.
00:49:14Sex, money, our marriages.
00:49:16Anything at all.
00:49:22Well, how about if I start?
00:49:25Right, yes.
00:49:26Well, I think there are times
00:49:31when Walter cares more about the law
00:49:33than he does about me, and that can hurt.
00:49:37I don't think that,
00:49:39I don't think that Ed ever loved me.
00:49:43I mean, he married me because I looked right.
00:49:47It made a big impression on the other TV executives
00:49:50for his wife to look like I look.
00:49:56God knows he's given me things.
00:50:00I'm not complaining on that score, but,
00:50:05he never loved me.
00:50:09I didn't bake anything yesterday.
00:50:12It took me so long to get the upstairs floor to shine.
00:50:15I didn't have any time to bake.
00:50:16Well, you don't have to bake, kid.
00:50:18There's no law.
00:50:20Ed's lucky if I remember to keep him in white bread.
00:50:23Ezyon spray starch.
00:50:25It must save me half an hour a day at least.
00:50:28You'll never run short of time again, I guarantee it.
00:50:31I've just been tempted so many times to try Ezyon.
00:50:35I'm not trying to be a leader or anything,
00:50:37but we're not supposed to delve
00:50:39quite so specifically into housework.
00:50:41Ezyon's really that good, is it?
00:50:43Is it that good?
00:50:45Well, if time is your enemy, make friends with Ezyon.
00:50:48That's all I can tell you.
00:50:50It's so good that if ever I became famous
00:50:53and the Ezyon people asked me would I do a commercial,
00:50:56not only would I do it, I'd do it for free.
00:51:00That's how good it is.
00:51:02Holy cow.
00:51:19I think I'll take Fred for a walk.
00:51:22Fred?
00:51:24Where is he, did he get out again?
00:51:25No, I said I was going to take him for a walk.
00:51:30Oh, you're going out?
00:51:33No, I'm going to walk him around the bathroom.
00:51:36You just keep doing whatever you're doing.
00:51:39I'm very fond of you.
00:51:42Well, I'm fond of you too.
00:51:44Fred, Freddie, want to go for a walk?
00:51:48Yes.
00:51:49Dog, dog, dog, dog.
00:51:51Hey, want to go for a walk?
00:51:53No.
00:51:54No.
00:51:55No.
00:51:56No.
00:51:57No.
00:51:57I don't know what I'm gonna do with you.
00:51:59I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:01I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:03I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:05I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:07I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:09I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:11I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:13I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:15I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:17I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:19I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:21I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:23I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:25I'm gonna kill you.
00:52:50Fine, Walter, just fine.
00:52:56Red.
00:52:58Red.
00:53:00Come on back here.
00:53:01Now, don't give me a hard time.
00:53:04Red.
00:53:06Red.
00:53:12Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:14Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:16Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:18Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:20Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:22Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:24Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
00:53:27Oh boy.
00:53:30Good boy.
00:53:37Come on, let's go.
00:53:41Come here little boy.
00:53:42Come on, let's go.
00:53:46Come here.
00:53:48Come here.
00:53:52Come on.
00:53:54Oh.
00:53:55Oh.
00:53:56Oh.
00:53:57Oh.
00:53:58It's all right.
00:53:59It's all right.
00:54:27Sorry about that, lady.
00:54:28I didn't mean to frighten you.
00:54:33Oh, it's Mrs. Eberhardt.
00:54:34Yes.
00:54:35And you did frighten me.
00:54:37Once again, Mrs. Eberhardt, my apologies.
00:54:39But this is a pretty quiet town.
00:54:42A lot of very nice houses, like your own.
00:54:45People have valuable things.
00:54:46We have to be careful.
00:54:49See that old mansion over there?
00:54:52It's a landmark building.
00:54:53I didn't know that.
00:54:54Some railroad tycoon built it in 1870.
00:54:58Before the men's association took it over, it was a wreck.
00:55:00Now the association's got a restoration committee
00:55:03to try and fix up what was ruined.
00:55:05So we have to be very careful.
00:55:07We can't let people just walk around at night.
00:55:10One of the reasons I moved from the city
00:55:11was so I could walk around at night.
00:55:14Well, certainly, you and Fred can walk around at night.
00:55:18But I'd stick a little closer to home.
00:55:20Really, Mrs. Eberhardt, this isn't the best place
00:55:22for you to wander around.
00:55:25I see.
00:55:26Thank you.
00:55:27Good night.
00:55:28Good night.
00:55:56Come on, Ed.
00:56:08Let me drive.
00:56:09You're in no fit state.
00:56:10OK?
00:56:20All right?
00:56:27Just lie back and relax.
00:56:31You look gay?
00:56:36All right.
00:56:37You're OK.
00:56:51Joanna?
00:56:53Joanna?
00:56:57Come over here.
00:56:58Come over here.
00:57:11Is that all right, dear?
00:57:12That's lovely, Joanna.
00:57:14All right, ladies?
00:57:15Got everything you want?
00:57:16Oh, yes.
00:57:17Thanks.
00:57:18Have a good day.
00:57:19Thanks so much.
00:57:21I was trying to tell you.
00:57:25Yes, what was that about?
00:57:28That was Frank.
00:57:29Frank?
00:57:30The house.
00:57:31Remember?
00:57:32That was Frank.
00:57:33And that was Mrs. Frank.
00:57:35Oh, God.
00:57:36There, Frank.
00:57:37Yes.
00:57:38Oh, I remember.
00:57:39I remember.
00:57:40Oh, my God.
00:57:41Now, how about that, Frank?
00:57:42Step for twosome.
00:57:43Oh, God.
00:57:44Yes.
00:57:45Wait a minute.
00:57:46OK.
00:57:47We're going the wrong way.
00:57:48I have to go this way.
00:57:49Yes.
00:57:50Hi.
00:57:51Hi.
00:57:52Hello.
00:57:53Have you heard?
00:57:54It's just spreading like wildfire.
00:57:55A black family is moving into town.
00:57:58Oh.
00:57:59Think that's good?
00:58:01I think it's good.
00:58:03Well, I don't know if I think it's good so much as I think it's natural.
00:58:06Considering, well, I mean, after all, we are the most liberal town around.
00:58:11Stepford?
00:58:12Liberal?
00:58:13Well, sure.
00:58:14We have the first Chinese restaurant in Fairfield County.
00:58:18Yes.
00:58:19And we have the first women's club to ask any of those liberation ladies to come lecture.
00:58:25There are no women's clubs here.
00:58:27There was.
00:58:28I went to a meeting once.
00:58:30There must have been 50 of us there.
00:58:33Well, where the hell are they?
00:58:36Some of them moved away, but I guess most of them just plain got bored.
00:58:39I know I did.
00:58:41There we are.
00:58:42Off you go.
00:58:44We disbanded, oh, years ago.
00:58:47We weren't accomplishing anything useful.
00:58:49You mean useful like doing housework?
00:58:52I like to see my home looking nice.
00:58:54Look, we found this at the library.
00:58:57Listen, Carol, it says you were president of that club.
00:59:00I only took the post because nobody else would.
00:59:03Please explain to me what you're into.
00:59:06Is it enough?
00:59:08Well, enough for me maybe is not enough for you, Joanna, but...
00:59:13Well, you see, Ted's doing really well in his scientific research now,
00:59:18and I give him a good home.
00:59:21I really think that helps.
00:59:23The kids are doing the best they've ever done in school,
00:59:26and I'm here all the time.
00:59:29Well, I know that helps, too.
00:59:32I'm really off the booze, and, oh, God knows that's better.
00:59:37It's none of your business, but our sex life is better, too.
00:59:41Look, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm happy.
00:59:47I'm happy.
00:59:52You know, maybe we're the crazy ones.
00:59:54Don't say that. We're not.
00:59:56You sure?
00:59:58We're fine.
01:00:00Okay.
01:00:02We are fine.
01:00:11Okay.
01:00:42Hi.
01:00:44How'd it go?
01:00:46What? Oh.
01:00:48Well, he hated them.
01:00:50I must say, I was inclined to agree.
01:00:52I don't know what made me take them.
01:00:54Still...
01:00:58Did the girls bring you anything?
01:01:00No, they didn't.
01:01:02Oh, I'm sorry.
01:01:04I don't know what made me take them.
01:01:06I don't know what made me take them.
01:01:09Did the girls bring Fred over when they came?
01:01:12Not that I know of.
01:01:14Oh, shoot, and he has no license, nothing.
01:01:17Can I leave the kids here a bit while I go look for him?
01:01:20Sure. I'll go with you.
01:01:22Jay, will you take care of the kids?
01:01:25Okay.
01:01:27I'll be right back.
01:01:29All right, Mommy.
01:01:31We'll find him.
01:01:33Tell me more about what that thing said in the gallery.
01:01:38Fred!
01:01:47Did you see what I saw?
01:01:49You found him?
01:01:51No, back at Charmaine's.
01:01:56Oh, my God!
01:02:08Oh, my God!
01:02:34You see, Ed hated tennis.
01:02:37All he wanted to do was to please me.
01:02:41Well, I want to please him now.
01:02:44And, boy, am I ever going to.
01:02:47You see, we spent this weekend at this beautiful little inn in Vermont,
01:02:51just Ed and me, you know, talking things through.
01:02:54We parked Merrill with some friends, the Fishers,
01:02:57and we had the most terrific time.
01:03:00I can't get my mind operating.
01:03:05Besides, I just swamped with work.
01:03:08Work?
01:03:09Oh, yes. I fired Nettie.
01:03:11Yeah, it was just the being alone with Ed that did it.
01:03:16All I ever thought about before was just me.
01:03:21Well, I'm here to tell you that's all over now.
01:03:25Ed's always hankered after a heated swimming pool,
01:03:28and now he's going to get it.
01:03:34I'm going to get it.
01:03:55Look, I've been doing a little research, okay, and a lot of thinking,
01:03:59and I know what I'm going to say is going to sound crazy,
01:04:02but if you laugh at it, I swear to God I'm going to be sick.
01:04:05Okay, you remember hearing about the Texas tranquilizer?
01:04:08It was in time. I cut it out.
01:04:11Wait a second. Sit down.
01:04:15Issue dated October 4th, 1971.
01:04:18Seventy-one. Right.
01:04:20It's about why there are almost no murders in El Paso.
01:04:23See, this scientist has this theory
01:04:25that there's something that comes from the water in El Paso.
01:04:28It comes from deep wells and has some chemical tranquilizer in it.
01:04:31I'll read. See?
01:04:34Dallas is over two times as big as El Paso,
01:04:37but that year there were 242 murders in Dallas,
01:04:40and there were only 13 in El Paso.
01:04:43Joanna. Joanna, I think that's what's going on in Stepford.
01:04:47I think there's something in the water that turns us into house frowns,
01:04:50drones, whatever you want to call it.
01:04:52Charmaine's changed, Carol Van Zandt's changed,
01:04:54and so have all those other women's club members.
01:04:56Well, I suppose it's possible.
01:04:59It can't all be coincidence.
01:05:01Look at all those places.
01:05:03Electronics, computers, aerospace junk,
01:05:07and labs. Who knows what?
01:05:11They must all be dumping their chemical garbage into Stepford River,
01:05:16and it could be making its way to us.
01:05:19Listen, the 6 o'clock news scares me every night.
01:05:22I don't see what's so far out about my theory.
01:05:24All right, why don't we write the State Environmental Agency
01:05:28and have them check the water in the reservoir?
01:05:30Ugh, governmental agencies. I've worked for them, Joanna.
01:05:33And I mean, if they're way above average or any good at all,
01:05:36they'll manage to lose a letter if you send it to them.
01:05:39They teach courses in misfiling at those places.
01:05:42You know what I think we ought to do?
01:05:44I think we ought to take a sample of the water ourselves
01:05:47and then get it to a trustworthy chemist.
01:05:49The trouble is, I don't know anybody except,
01:05:52you know, guys at that stinking men's association.
01:05:55I lost my virginity to a trustworthy chemist.
01:05:58Ha ha! No kidding!
01:06:01Did he do it on Blue Cross?
01:06:03His name was Raymond Chandler.
01:06:05Oh, gosh.
01:06:06And he had a gag, a sort of stupid private thing going.
01:06:12I used to ask him why he didn't talk like he wrote.
01:06:16He wasn't a bit hard-boiled,
01:06:18and he hated any sort of violence, but I kept it going.
01:06:22Some nights I wouldn't let him touch me
01:06:24until he told me the plot of his next novel.
01:06:27Which was, of course, The Big Sleep.
01:06:30Sometimes it nearly drove him crazy.
01:06:33Isn't it funny, the things you do when you're in love?
01:06:37We were both seniors at NYU,
01:06:39and it wasn't just passion, it was love.
01:06:42Why didn't you marry him?
01:06:44I don't know.
01:06:46Maybe we took the joke too far.
01:06:49Maybe the fun went out of it.
01:06:52I thought Walter was going to become Perry Mason.
01:06:56So it was farewell, my lovely.
01:06:59Did you ever see that?
01:07:02Anyway, I think if I look in the phone book,
01:07:05and this guy is still in New York, then he's our man.
01:07:09Are you out of your mind?
01:07:11No.
01:07:12I can't just call him up and say,
01:07:14Hi, I used to be Joanna Ingalls.
01:07:16You deflowered me 12 years ago.
01:07:18Would you check my water?
01:07:20Final gas chromatograph readings
01:07:22will be coming in in a minute or two.
01:07:24Thank you so much for this.
01:07:26Oh, you psycho.
01:07:28Long time.
01:07:2912 years.
01:07:32You married a dentist, wasn't that it?
01:07:35Lawyer.
01:07:37Are you happy?
01:07:39Yes, very.
01:07:40Good, good.
01:07:42Are you married?
01:07:44Going on nine years.
01:07:47And yes, very.
01:07:50Here's your water, Mr. Shatner.
01:07:52Thank you, Elizabeth.
01:07:55Well, I can say right off the bat that,
01:08:01you've got water in your water.
01:08:06Now, what can I tell you, girls?
01:08:08I mean, I wouldn't want to drink too much of it,
01:08:10but it's water.
01:08:12Can't you be more specific?
01:08:14Yes.
01:08:15But in order to do that, I'd specifically have to know
01:08:17what it is I'm trying to find.
01:08:21I mean, there's nothing here.
01:08:23Look at that.
01:08:28Well, can you go any further in confirming my suspicions?
01:08:33I'm sorry.
01:08:35About what?
01:08:36The women in Stepford love housework,
01:08:39and I thought there might be something in the water.
01:08:44Where did you find her?
01:08:46It's not funny.
01:08:47No, it isn't.
01:08:49All right, you're right.
01:08:50Look, that was rude of me.
01:08:51Mrs...
01:08:52Marco.
01:08:53Marco.
01:08:54I can tell you categorically that there's no such thing
01:08:57as a cleaner compeller.
01:08:59If there was, I would patent it myself,
01:09:01make a million bucks, win the Nobel Prize, and retire.
01:09:07I guess we're going.
01:09:09I'll see you outside.
01:09:17I'm sorry.
01:09:18Tell her that.
01:09:19Yes.
01:09:27Hey, we blew it, didn't we?
01:09:32I don't know, Raymond.
01:09:35It's hard to be smart.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:40Bye-bye.
01:09:46I don't care what anybody says.
01:09:49I'm not going to end up like one of those pan scrubbers.
01:09:53I'm getting the hell out of Stepford.
01:09:56I'll ask Dave tonight, and we'll move.
01:09:59Hey, hey, hey, you too.
01:10:01You can't break up a team like us.
01:10:03We're the best thing that happened since Laurel and Hardy.
01:10:05Will you think about it?
01:10:07Zoom, zoot-zoot, zulu.
01:10:15And that's that.
01:10:17Oh, God.
01:10:46When was that?
01:10:54Walter, would you move?
01:10:57Mm-hmm.
01:10:59No, no, no.
01:11:02Hey, what did I say?
01:11:04I meant move, leave Stepford.
01:11:07But we just got to Stepford.
01:11:12Hey, are you that unhappy?
01:11:16Is it everything you expected?
01:11:19Well, no.
01:11:22No, it's not.
01:11:23I just didn't want to be the first one to admit it.
01:11:25You know, I'm the one that wanted to come here in the first place.
01:11:28You think the men are dull.
01:11:30Well, I think the women are too.
01:11:33You're right.
01:11:34I agree with you.
01:11:35That's why I want to move.
01:11:36Yeah, but the area sure is nice, though, you know?
01:11:38It's perfect for the kids.
01:11:41Well, maybe Norwood or Eastbridge.
01:11:45Okay, let's move.
01:11:48You mean it?
01:11:49That's all there is to it?
01:11:50I just had to ask.
01:11:51I shouldn't be at least fight or something.
01:11:52Well, I don't want to move tonight, Joanna.
01:11:54I mean, what is it, June already?
01:11:56And I got all this work piled up here.
01:11:57Jesus, I...
01:12:00Okay, I'll tell you what.
01:12:01Why don't you look around,
01:12:02and we'll figure on moving in August?
01:12:04That way the kids can get settled in before school starts.
01:12:07Oh, wait a minute.
01:12:09Hey, these papers are all in sequence, you know?
01:12:11I mean, you're crushing Mr. Zeigler's will.
01:12:13I'll make you a beneficiary.
01:12:15Well, I guess Mr. Zeigler could wait a little while.
01:12:17You mean it? We can move?
01:12:18Yeah.
01:12:19Oh, Walter.
01:12:22Oh, Walter, you're really sweet.
01:12:25Oh.
01:12:37Girls, I think after four houses,
01:12:39I'm getting to know your taste.
01:12:41This may be it.
01:12:43He's an I.T.T.V.P. transferred to Panama,
01:12:46probably to start a revolution.
01:12:49Oh.
01:12:54There'll be at least eight lonely ladies
01:12:56in East Bridge Center for a while.
01:12:58I don't know how he got away with it so close to home.
01:13:00Oh, really?
01:13:01Listen, I'll go in first.
01:13:02You stay here.
01:13:03They gave me the key,
01:13:04but you never know what you'll walk into.
01:13:07Thanks.
01:13:08Oh, Mrs. Kiergasa, I love you.
01:13:11Oh, she's fat and lovely.
01:13:12She's got a big mouth, and I love her.
01:13:14What a treat.
01:13:15When I told Dave we were house hunting,
01:13:17he nearly jumped out of his skin.
01:13:19He threatened to cancel the plaza.
01:13:21What is the plaza?
01:13:23Oh, I forgot.
01:13:24I'm supposed to ask you
01:13:25if you will take our kids and the dog
01:13:27so Dave and I can have a weekend,
01:13:29our annual weekend at the plaza.
01:13:31It's to commemorate the time
01:13:32he took a young virgin to the theater
01:13:34and faked her up to his room.
01:13:37Hell, I had to lose it sometime.
01:13:39The coast is clear.
01:13:40Come on, girl.
01:13:41Right.
01:13:42Anyway, will you do it for me?
01:13:44Do what?
01:13:45Take care of the kids and the dog for the weekend?
01:13:47I know it's just a horrible thing
01:13:48for you to think about, isn't it?
01:13:50Forget it.
01:13:51No, yes it is, but okay.
01:13:53You will?
01:13:54The girls at least will love having the dog.
01:13:57Ever since dear old Fred departed,
01:13:59they've been after me to get another one.
01:14:01Yes.
01:14:02I don't know about Walter, though.
01:14:04What do you mean?
01:14:05Well, you know, Walter hates noise.
01:14:08Come on, the dog's under the table.
01:14:11There's a dog under the table.
01:14:14Could I have some more coffee, please?
01:14:16Folly's under the table.
01:14:18Bless you.
01:14:20Could I have some more coffee, please?
01:14:23How many pancakes are you going to get?
01:14:25Could I have some?
01:14:26Yeah, thank you.
01:14:27Ah!
01:14:36Ah!
01:14:42Ah!
01:14:49Ah!
01:14:53Ah!
01:14:57Ah!
01:15:04I'm going to get a half a sandwich
01:15:06and then give the rest to Folly.
01:15:08Bye-bye!
01:15:12Joanna!
01:15:13Yeah?
01:15:14Look, I played Monopoly with them.
01:15:16I didn't pass go.
01:15:17I didn't collect.
01:15:18I played backgammon.
01:15:19I played Scrabble with the goddamn kids.
01:15:21They're in the kitchen now.
01:15:22What do you want me to do?
01:15:24Walter, you've had seven years of college.
01:15:26Use your brains.
01:15:27I'm sorry, but I'm on to something,
01:15:29and I think maybe it's the best I've ever done,
01:15:31and I want to stick with it.
01:15:33But how do I amuse them?
01:15:35I amuse them seven days a week.
01:15:39They know all the Sesame Street songs.
01:15:42Have a sing-along.
01:15:44Sing-along.
01:15:46Jesus.
01:15:48Mr. Atkinson, I've been at these since Saturday,
01:15:51just about nonstop,
01:15:52because I had to get them
01:15:53into some sort of shape for you to see.
01:15:55Because I think they're an improvement,
01:15:57and you've got to think so too.
01:15:59I'm doing all the talking, I know,
01:16:01but these are my little girls,
01:16:03and those are someone else's,
01:16:04my best friend's little boys,
01:16:06and you've just got to tell me.
01:16:09Am I crazy?
01:16:11Aren't they good?
01:16:14Please say something.
01:16:15I don't care.
01:16:17No, I do care.
01:16:19Don't say anything bad.
01:16:21Don't say anything bad.
01:16:23These are, um, really quite good.
01:16:26You're not just saying that because you're frightened
01:16:28I might be a crazy lady.
01:16:30Clearly you are a crazy lady,
01:16:32but clearly again, these are nice.
01:16:36Wait a minute.
01:16:38You said good.
01:16:39Really quite good, you said.
01:16:41Good is better than nice.
01:16:43You're not changing your mind, are you?
01:16:45No, the results are lovely.
01:16:47Don't get upset again.
01:16:48Lovely is better than good.
01:16:50But, um, what fascinates me is
01:16:53what is it you want from it all?
01:16:56Do you know?
01:16:58I want somewhere,
01:17:02someday, someone to look at something
01:17:05and say, hey, that reminds me of an Ingalls.
01:17:08Ingalls was my maiden name.
01:17:11I guess I want to be remembered.
01:17:13Yes, don't we all?
01:17:15Bobby!
01:17:17It's me!
01:17:18Kitchen!
01:17:20I've just come from Atkinson's in New York
01:17:22and he loves my stuff.
01:17:24Well, not loves maybe,
01:17:26but he's genuinely interested in my work.
01:17:28The gallery for photographers.
01:17:30That's wonderful.
01:17:31Joanna?
01:17:33If you're going to tell me you don't like this dress,
01:17:36I'm sticking my head right in the oven.
01:17:38Dave bought it for me for the weekend.
01:17:40He spent a ton on me.
01:17:41How about the shape?
01:17:44Padded uplift bra?
01:17:46It's true what they say in the ads.
01:17:49Oh, Joanna, Dave turned me loose in Bergdorf's
01:17:52and I went mad.
01:17:54At the plaza, some guy tried picking me up in the lobby.
01:17:57You know how long it's been since that happened?
01:18:00Of course, I did look terrific.
01:18:02Bobby, you're not at the plaza now.
01:18:04I mean, so why are you wearing all that makeup?
01:18:06I mean, you never even used to clean your kitchen
01:18:08much less wear makeup.
01:18:10Admit it, Joanna.
01:18:12I was a joke.
01:18:14Dave works hard all day long,
01:18:16and what does he come home to?
01:18:18A slum.
01:18:19Bobby, it's gotten to you now.
01:18:21Nothing's gotten me.
01:18:23I just want to look like a woman
01:18:25and keep my house looking decent, too.
01:18:27You're just like Charmaine.
01:18:29Will you stop?
01:18:31And you're not going to leave Stepford either, are you?
01:18:33Leave Stepford?
01:18:34Good schools, low taxes, clean air.
01:18:37Now, you're right.
01:18:40Shall I make us a nice pot of coffee?
01:18:42No, no, no, I've really got to go now.
01:18:44Stop by any time.
01:18:46I'll be here.
01:18:48
01:18:58
01:19:08
01:19:18Oh, my God, look out!
01:19:20
01:19:28
01:19:37Okay, so you're upset.
01:19:39So you pass a school bus, and you dent the wagon.
01:19:41Bobby Marco buys a new bride.
01:19:43I got to pay for a new mailbox for the Van Sands.
01:19:45So what?
01:19:47So what are you talking about, Joanna?
01:19:49Why can't you understand? Her kitchen was sparkling.
01:19:51Yeah, so you said.
01:19:53But, look, now, I hate to come on like the heavy,
01:19:55but what's that got to do with you going crazy?
01:19:57It wasn't just that. It wasn't just anything.
01:19:59She's changed, and stop telling me I'm crazy!
01:20:02Are you two fighting?
01:20:04No.
01:20:06I don't like it when you fight.
01:20:08Look, we're not fighting. We're just talking.
01:20:10Now, come on, you guys.
01:20:12Go on outside, all right?
01:20:16Oh, boy, it's really terrific.
01:20:20It's really terrific for them, you know.
01:20:22I remember when my mother and father
01:20:24used to yell at each other.
01:20:26I just didn't want them to have to go through this.
01:20:28Well, neither do I. I'm sorry.
01:20:30I said I'm sorry about the car, but I was panicked and upset.
01:20:32Oh, look, that's no big deal.
01:20:34There's nothing to it that bothers me.
01:20:36Just try to look at it from my point of view, Joanna.
01:20:38Walter, I just want to say one thing to you.
01:20:40Bobby really has changed. Believe me.
01:20:42Everything in her house looked like a TV commercial.
01:20:44Well, good. Good.
01:20:46She had to clean it sooner or later.
01:20:48It looked like a goddamn pigsty.
01:20:54I mean, when are things gonna start sparkling around here?
01:20:56That's what I'd like to know.
01:20:58I mean, just look at the way my kids are dressed.
01:21:00Ragamuffins.
01:21:02Jeez, I work 80 hours a week.
01:21:04I live in a great house,
01:21:06and my kids look like they belong on welfare.
01:21:12Look, if you paid a little more attention to your family
01:21:14and a little less to your goddamn picture-taking...
01:21:16I'm getting the hell out of Stafford, Walter.
01:21:18I'm getting us a house now.
01:21:20And if it's hard on you, tough.
01:21:22And if it's hard on the kids,
01:21:24I'll just ease up on my goddamn picture-taking
01:21:26and stay around the house.
01:21:28And believe me, they'll survive.
01:21:30They're surviving.
01:21:34Okay, all right.
01:21:36I mean, I'll take a loss on this great house if I have to,
01:21:38but there's one condition, and we don't go anywhere.
01:21:40You see somebody, you get some help.
01:21:42You see a psychiatrist.
01:21:44I'm fine. I don't need to see anybody.
01:21:46Yeah, well, you say you're fine,
01:21:48but me, I'd like another opinion,
01:21:50because I'm not too anxious to move to Eastbridge
01:21:52and after four months there be told by my sweet wife
01:21:54we gotta move again because she doesn't like
01:21:56the way her new neighbors keep their houses clean.
01:21:58Look, I'm not asking anything unreasonable,
01:22:00and I don't like asking it.
01:22:02But you want me to disrupt our lives
01:22:04for the second time in a couple of months
01:22:06on some fixation you've got.
01:22:08Now, that's the unreasonable part.
01:22:10You've gotta see that.
01:22:18Look.
01:22:20I mean, you and me,
01:22:22we don't have to fight about this.
01:22:24We're gonna move.
01:22:26We're gonna move.
01:22:28It's only a few more weeks.
01:22:36It doesn't have to be any dramatic.
01:22:38There's a couple of top-notch guys
01:22:40right here in town.
01:22:42Just talk to one of them.
01:22:44They'd see you.
01:22:46But I wouldn't see them.
01:22:48If I see anybody,
01:22:50I'll find my own.
01:22:56I'm here at
01:22:58my husband's insistence.
01:23:00We moved to Stepford
01:23:02with our children, oh,
01:23:04a few months ago.
01:23:06Before that, we moved to Manhattan.
01:23:08And now I want to move out.
01:23:12You see, I have nothing against
01:23:14the general area,
01:23:16but the women in Stepford
01:23:18just seem to be on a different wavelength.
01:23:20Well, that all seems very straightforward.
01:23:22And your husband wants you
01:23:24to see me because...
01:23:26He feels
01:23:28I'm being irrational.
01:23:32He says there's no certainty I'd like
01:23:34Eastbridge or someplace like that
01:23:36any better.
01:23:38And he doesn't want to spend his life
01:23:40moving from one house to another.
01:23:42Yes,
01:23:44understandable.
01:23:46But Stepford, I know,
01:23:48has a reputation for being unsocial.
01:23:50So I also understand
01:23:52you might be unhappy there.
01:23:54I'd be unhappy there.
01:23:56Any move is traumatic,
01:23:58and a city-to-suburbs move for a woman
01:24:00with interests other than purely family
01:24:02can seem like a jaunt to Siberia.
01:24:06What would you think of if I said
01:24:08Westport, Connecticut?
01:24:12Writers? Artists?
01:24:14Now, you have no reason to know this,
01:24:16but Truro, Massachusetts,
01:24:18is a sort of elephant's graveyard
01:24:20for political analysts.
01:24:22Perhaps Stepford is heaven
01:24:24for the house-and-garden type.
01:24:26One person tells another.
01:24:28Some don't like it and leave.
01:24:30Others that do like it arrive.
01:24:32I mean, Westport didn't always have writers.
01:24:36They didn't breed from an original pair.
01:24:38I understand.
01:24:40Well, I'm not surprised.
01:24:42You're obviously a very bright woman.
01:24:50I am.
01:25:04What does surprise me
01:25:06is that you have come all this way
01:25:08to talk to me,
01:25:10and then you don't talk to me.
01:25:20I'm sorry.
01:25:40I think the men are behind it.
01:25:44What men?
01:25:46All of them.
01:25:50All of them in the association.
01:25:56My husband.
01:25:58Everyone.
01:26:02The women don't.
01:26:04Can't arrive in Stepford
01:26:06loving housework.
01:26:08They change once they get there.
01:26:10I think the men make them change.
01:26:12How would they do that?
01:26:14I don't know. They...
01:26:16They...
01:26:20Oh, Jesus.
01:26:22It's so awful.
01:26:24If I'm wrong,
01:26:26I'm insane.
01:26:28And if I'm right,
01:26:30it's worse than if I'm wrong.
01:26:34I don't know what they do exactly.
01:26:36They draw our pictures
01:26:38and they tape our voices,
01:26:40and the women all look neat and pretty.
01:26:42There's a man.
01:26:44He's a druggist.
01:26:46He runs the pharmacy.
01:26:48And he's nothing.
01:26:50He's nothing.
01:26:52But his wife is just breathtaking.
01:26:54And once, by mistake,
01:26:56I happened to hear them making love.
01:26:58And she was carrying on incredibly
01:27:00like he was some kind of God's gift.
01:27:02And Charmaine changed in four months
01:27:04and ripped up her tennis court.
01:27:06And Bobby, my best friend, changed in four months.
01:27:08And that's what convinced me.
01:27:10That's how long I've been in Stepford.
01:27:12Four months.
01:27:14And I don't know what's going on.
01:27:16I just know something is wrong
01:27:18and my time is coming.
01:27:22Terribly frightened, aren't you?
01:27:24Can you sleep?
01:27:26Well, that's easy.
01:27:28We can take care of that.
01:27:30And we'll see a lot of each other
01:27:32and you can talk some more.
01:27:34You see, it's unfortunate,
01:27:36but I have to go away for a couple of days.
01:27:38It's something I can't put off
01:27:40at this short notice.
01:27:42But when I'm back, we'll talk.
01:27:44You'll be here when you get back,
01:27:46don't you see?
01:27:48It's going to happen before then.
01:27:50Don't ask me to explain it.
01:27:52I just know there'll be somebody
01:27:54with my name and she'll cook
01:27:56and clean like crazy,
01:27:58but she won't take pictures
01:28:00and she won't be me.
01:28:02She'll...
01:28:04She'll be like
01:28:06one of those robots in Disneyland.
01:28:14All right, now listen.
01:28:16I'll give you a prescription,
01:28:18which you have filled.
01:28:20Then you gather up your children
01:28:22and you get the hell away.
01:28:24Don't tell your husband.
01:28:26Don't tell anyone.
01:28:28Just go wherever you feel safe.
01:28:30Now, do you have family?
01:28:32They're dead.
01:28:34Well, just drive and stop someplace.
01:28:36Then in a few days,
01:28:38I'll be back on the 10th.
01:28:40You ring me, I'll come to you
01:28:42Now, how does that sound?
01:29:12I'm coming.
01:29:36They're not here.
01:29:38They're with friends. They're fine.
01:29:40Amy!
01:29:42Kim!
01:29:46Which friends?
01:29:50They're fine.
01:29:52How was your visit? Did she fix you up?
01:29:55Walter, I'm taking the children away.
01:29:57Where are they? Are they at Bobby's?
01:29:59Look, look, just, they're fine. I'm taking them.
01:30:02I'm taking them.
01:30:04I'm taking them.
01:30:06Look, look, just, they're fine. I told you.
01:30:09Look, we don't want you to get upset again.
01:30:11Now just go on upstairs and lie down.
01:30:13Don't talk to me like that. I don't want to lie down.
01:30:15I want my children.
01:30:17Joanna, go upstairs and lie down now!
01:30:19Don't tell me what to do, you bastard!
01:30:29Joanna! Walter!
01:30:37Joanna, open this goddamn door!
01:30:50All right, you just stay in there then.
01:30:53You just stay in there.
01:31:06You just stay in there.
01:31:24Is Cornell calling you?
01:31:26Yes, he's calling.
01:31:28Well, I have some trouble.
01:31:30You have some trouble?
01:31:37Yeah.
01:31:38Well, I don't know.
01:31:44I don't know, but I think it's her.
01:31:47Well, she's upset.
01:31:49She's really upset.
01:31:52She says she's gone upstairs.
01:31:56Yeah.
01:31:58Well, she's in the room.
01:32:01Yeah.
01:32:03Yeah, I think it's all right.
01:32:10Oh, Liz?
01:32:13What should I do?
01:32:15I'll just stay in there.
01:32:17I'll stay in there.
01:32:19I'll stay in there.
01:32:21I'll stay in there.
01:32:23I'll just stay in there.
01:32:54Why, look at you, for heaven's sakes.
01:32:57Bobby, Bobby, listen.
01:32:59You need a fresh, perked cup of coffee.
01:33:02I don't want any coffee. I just want my children.
01:33:05Well, they're not here.
01:33:07Dave's working late, so I shooed my boys off with friends...
01:33:10so I could give myself a chance to do some real cleaning.
01:33:13Whoever told you Cam and Ed were coming?
01:33:15I don't know.
01:33:17I don't know.
01:33:19I don't know.
01:33:21Hajime, whoever told you Cam and Amy were here?
01:33:24No one, no one, but the night they changed you,
01:33:26I kept your kids. It just seemed logical to me.
01:33:29Changed me? What's that mean?
01:33:31I don't know. I really don't.
01:33:35Bobby, stop it! Look at me!
01:33:37Say I'm right!
01:33:39You are different. Your figure's different.
01:33:41Your face, what you talk about, all of this is different.
01:33:44Yes. Yes, this.
01:33:46It's wonderful.
01:33:48Why don't you change your mind and have a cup?
01:33:51What does archaic mean?
01:33:53Archaic?
01:33:54Yes.
01:33:55I don't know.
01:33:56Think!
01:33:57You used to know when we went to Marie Axelm's
01:33:58and she was ironing.
01:33:59She didn't know, but you did.
01:34:01Did I?
01:34:02Well, I forgot.
01:34:03How do you want it?
01:34:07It wasn't on the word list, was it?
01:34:09This is a new blend and very mild.
01:34:14Do you take cream?
01:34:16Look, I bleed.
01:34:17That's right, you take it black.
01:34:19I cut myself, I bleed!
01:34:23Do you bleed?
01:34:24Why, look at your hand.
01:34:28No, you look!
01:34:31Joanna!
01:34:44How could you do a thing like that?
01:34:48How could you do a thing like that?
01:34:58How could you do a thing like that?
01:35:05When I was just going to give you coffee?
01:35:09When I was just going to give you coffee.
01:35:12When I was just...
01:35:14to give you coffee, when I was just going to give you coffee,
01:35:20when I was just going to give you coffee,
01:35:24I thought we were friends. I thought we were friends.
01:35:28I was just going to give you coffee. I was just going to give you coffee.
01:35:33I thought we were friends. I thought we were friends.
01:35:37I thought we were friends. How could you do a thing like that?
01:35:41I thought we were friends. You must have sneaked out when I was on the
01:35:46telephone. Listen, Walter, it's going to be okay.
01:35:49The phone's a jam, the alarm is out, and the roads are blocked off.
01:35:53Everybody's out looking for you, so don't panic.
01:36:41Okay.
01:37:11Sigh.
01:37:41Where are my children?
01:37:45Where are they? Where are my children? I want them.
01:37:53Association.
01:38:01Sigh.
01:38:31Sigh.
01:39:01Sigh.
01:39:31Sigh.
01:39:37Sigh.
01:39:43Sigh.
01:39:49Sigh.
01:39:55Sigh.
01:40:01Sigh.
01:40:07Sigh.
01:40:13Sigh.
01:40:19Sigh.
01:40:25Sigh.
01:40:31Sigh.
01:40:37Sigh.
01:40:43Sigh.
01:40:49Sigh.
01:40:55Sigh.
01:41:01Sigh.
01:41:07Mommy.
01:41:11Mommy.
01:41:13Hello, Joanna.
01:41:15Mommy.
01:41:18What a lot of worry you caused everybody.
01:41:21Poor Walter's very concerned.
01:41:26Where are my children?
01:41:28First time I met you, I knew you were a good mother.
01:41:31Well, they're quite safe, having a lovely evening with Charmaine.
01:41:35She was thrilled to have them.
01:41:42What have you got there?
01:41:45Oh, no. No, you're not going to need that.
01:41:48It's nothing like that at all. You've got quite the wrong idea.
01:41:51You've had the wrong idea all the time.
01:41:53It's nothing like you imagine.
01:41:55It's just another stage.
01:41:58Think about it like that, and there's nothing to it.
01:42:02Why?
01:42:04Why?
01:42:08Because we can.
01:42:12We found a way of doing it, and it's just perfect.
01:42:15Perfect for us and perfect for you.
01:42:21You're a very good subject.
01:42:23Perhaps the best we've had.
01:42:25You were brighter than most.
01:42:28Do you mind if I make a call?
01:42:36See, think of it the other way around.
01:42:39Wouldn't you like some perfect stud waiting on you around the house?
01:42:42Praising you, servicing you,
01:42:44whispering how your sagging flesh was beautiful, no matter how you looked?
01:42:48Excuse me.
01:42:51Everything's fine.
01:42:54You're just as I said.
01:42:56Am I always right?
01:42:59Yes, I'll take it from now.
01:43:01Everybody can go home.
01:43:06Well, that's all there is.
01:43:10So why don't we get it over?
01:43:14You know, you hurried us a little.
01:43:16We weren't quite ready for you, if you want to know the truth.
01:43:24Ah!
01:43:54Ah!
01:44:24Ah!
01:44:55Ah!
01:45:05Oh, no!
01:45:15Oh, God!
01:45:24Oh, God!
01:45:54Oh, God!
01:46:20Hi, kid. How are you?
01:46:22Hello, Marianne.
01:46:37What am I supposed to do?
01:46:39What do you want?
01:46:41Spend my entire day in the supermarket?
01:46:43Look, we're having a nice day, but...
01:46:45Oh, my God.
01:46:48What?
01:46:50Me?
01:46:52What am I supposed to do?
01:46:56Why don't you give it a chance?
01:46:59Hello, Marie.
01:47:01Hello, Charmaine.
01:47:03Hi, kid. How are you?
01:47:34Hello, Carol.
01:47:42Hi, Bobby.
01:47:44Hello, Carol. How are you?
01:48:03Hello, Bobby.
01:48:05Hello, Joanna. How are you?
01:48:07I'm fine. How are you?
01:48:09I'm fine. How are you?
01:48:11Very fine. And you?
01:48:13Fine. Fine.
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