Blind Dating 7 Girls Based on Their Outfits #dailymotion #fitness #girls
Category
đč
FunTranscript
00:00If you were to present me with a pick-up line to tickle my fancy, what might that be?
00:03I would say, my dad abandoned me.
00:06So, I guess you could say I got some holes that need to be filled.
00:19Hello, my name is Zach.
00:20Father never loved me, so I'm seeing if I could find maybe love here today.
00:23And if not, then I won't see you guys in the next video.
00:27All right, Zach, moving on.
00:29What up, YouTube?
00:30What's going on, guys?
00:30Before we start the video, make sure to like, share, and subscribe.
00:33Put on the post notification, because I'm choosing two lucky people
00:36to give 50 buckaroonies who comment within the first thousand comments.
00:43Keep your hands right here.
00:44Yes, sir.
00:44Also, guys, make sure to subscribe to the Patreon
00:47to see an extra question during the middle of the video.
00:50Or else.
00:53All right, let's get your wingman in here, Jared.
00:57Yeah.
00:58All right, Jared, well, you're Zach's...
01:00Lover, former.
01:01Former lover, best friend, co-star.
01:04What kind of girl do you think Zach should be dating?
01:07You know, somebody that's down to earth is preferably a child of divorce.
01:13Thought you were going to stop at child, keep going.
01:15Nope.
01:16Child of divorce, just because that's a commonality that they would have together.
01:22Happened to me twice.
01:23My mom got divorced twice for no reason.
01:26Except for the relationship didn't work.
01:28But overall, just kind of nice.
01:29You know, someone who could hold me at night while I cry.
01:32Okay, okay, that's good.
01:33I thought you were going to say racist.
01:36That too.
01:37Whatever.
01:38I'm super excited for both of you.
01:40You're going to meet the love of your life.
01:41And you're going to meet your sister-in-law.
01:45There we go.
01:46He's not my brother.
01:46All right, let's bring in the girls.
01:57Well, Zach, are you ready to find the love of your life?
01:59Yes, I'm so ready.
02:00You ladies ready?
02:01Yeah.
02:02They sound hot.
02:03They sound like they really could be with me forever.
02:06We're ready.
02:08All right.
02:10Jared, are you okay?
02:10Jared's more nervous.
02:11Jared's just nervous.
02:13You're the wingman, dude.
02:14I know.
02:15Lock it in.
02:15Lock it in, man.
02:16And turn around.
02:20Oh, wow.
02:21I feel like I'm at a pay less.
02:22Look at all these shoes.
02:23That's crazy.
02:25Do you honestly think any of us will find love today?
02:27I hope so.
02:27Maybe.
02:28Let's be optimistic.
02:29I love the positivity.
02:30It's a flip of a coin for me.
02:31You guys like being gaslit or no?
02:33I love it.
02:33It's my favorite.
02:34I love when I feel super stupid and I have no idea what's going on.
02:37Gotcha.
02:39Good to hear.
02:39That's the one.
02:40That's the one for you.
02:43He always makes me feel so stupid.
02:46Okay, wonderful women.
02:47Allegedly.
02:48Statistically, three of you are terrible people.
02:50But say we were at a bar.
02:52Just say we were there.
02:53You see me across the way.
02:54You got googly eyes, you know.
02:56You're trying to receive my seed in the future, some kids might say.
03:01What would be your pickup line?
03:03All right, let's start with contestant number one.
03:04Good call.
03:07What do you think about the shoes so far, dude?
03:09I think the shoes are very equality.
03:12Black and white.
03:13In this climate, that's really good to do.
03:15Then you got the pink on top.
03:17Breast cancer awareness.
03:18You're really doing it all.
03:19Very socially conscious.
03:21Okay, what is your answer?
03:23I'm not normally the one to do pickup lines when I go out.
03:27Usually, I hope you just kind of come to me and I end up biting.
03:30But if it was my choice to do a pickup line, I'd probably ask what your name was
03:34so that I knew what to scream later tonight.
03:39Okay, I spin walls.
03:42And Jared, who is here with me, he doesn't like screaming.
03:45So his stepdad used to, you know, beat him senseless.
03:50And he's screaming really.
03:51Anything really triggers him.
03:52So probably won't pick that one.
03:53But thank you so much.
03:56Well, you got to let me know your standards.
03:57I'll switch it up.
03:58I have zero standards.
03:59Obviously, you're here.
04:00All right, number two.
04:02Thick shoes.
04:02How are we feeling?
04:03Hi, good.
04:05I'm in my walking shoes.
04:06I'm ready to go.
04:07Oh, yeah.
04:07Oh, yeah, yeah.
04:08Yeah.
04:09It looks like you're ready to go on a snow trip.
04:12We're all with those shoes.
04:13Right.
04:13I just don't get fashion.
04:14So that looks cool to me.
04:16Can I be honest with you?
04:17And you might want to leave.
04:18I do not want to use Vegemite as lube.
04:20I'm just going to say it right now.
04:21Oh, it's okay.
04:22I can sacrifice the Vegemite.
04:24It's all right.
04:24He's cultured.
04:25You can tell where that accent was from.
04:27Yeah, very impressive.
04:28I usually get the UK.
04:29Again, if you were to present me with a pickup line to tickle my fancy, what might that be?
04:34I would say my dad abandoned me.
04:36Hell yeah, brother.
04:37Daddy issues.
04:38So I guess you could say I got some holes that need to be filled.
04:44That was good.
04:45I like that.
04:45Wow.
04:46When my dad abandoned me, I just never learned how to throw a baseball.
04:49So moving on, contestant number Rich.
04:52I see your shoes.
04:54I was worried that whoever was over there wouldn't know what they were,
04:56but you passed the first test.
04:59She's testing you.
05:00I'm quizzing you, yeah.
05:01Because if you didn't know what they were, then we might have a little bit of a problem.
05:03Flipped me over like a minute math test that I finished first on, baby girl.
05:06Goodness.
05:08Hey dude, look at her.
05:09She's sagging her pants.
05:11Okay.
05:12She goes hard.
05:13She's cool.
05:13Or maybe she just spent all the money on the shoes.
05:15She can't afford pants that fit.
05:16So they're just sagging.
05:17I don't know about that one.
05:18Okay.
05:19Anyways.
05:19Wait, is that pleather or leather?
05:21It's leather.
05:22Oh, nice.
05:22You hate animals.
05:26Okay.
05:26Yikes.
05:27Wait, do you know what kind of, what Air Force those are?
05:30Air Force.
05:31Or Air Jordans?
05:33Do you know what branch of the military those are?
05:35Oh, yeah.
05:36Is that a F-15 back seat?
05:37I don't know shoes, okay?
05:39Okay.
05:39She's testing you right now and I'm testing you.
05:41Gotcha.
05:42Are those off-white Jordan 1s?
05:44Yes.
05:44Gotcha.
05:45Looks good.
05:46I set them up for that.
05:47I fucking knew.
05:49I was just trying to make you look good because Jared sucks.
05:51Wow.
05:52How did I get roped into this?
05:53I don't know.
05:54I have to throw someone into the bus.
05:55All right.
05:56Yeah.
05:56Jared's easier to throw into the bus, isn't he?
05:57Yeah.
05:58Well, I'll stick up for you.
05:58Stop.
06:00Thank you, Zach.
06:00I got you, buddy.
06:01I really appreciate that.
06:02Anyways, not much of a pick-up line, girl.
06:04But if I had to come up to you, I would probably say something like,
06:07are you going on a trip after this?
06:09Because you sure are packing.
06:10That'd be a lie.
06:12And I don't want to be a liar.
06:13So moving right along.
06:15We can make it work.
06:16No, we can't.
06:17Trust me.
06:17It's been a real point of emphasis in most of my relationships.
06:22Oh, man.
06:23He's big in other places.
06:24Like, do you have anything?
06:26No, he's just small everywhere.
06:27Small everywhere.
06:28I'm lacking in a lot of things.
06:29I am five foot one inches tall.
06:31I'm the only person here shorter than David, which is pretty insane.
06:35Why are you throwing me under the bus now?
06:37I love a pocket, baby.
06:39I put you in my pocket.
06:40I'd rather be in another pocket, huh?
06:43It's for content, ladies.
06:45I don't think that way.
06:45I'm chivalrous.
06:47You're right, you're right.
06:48All right, white toes.
06:49Let's talk about it.
06:50Oh, about my white toes?
06:52No, just you in general.
06:53Okay.
06:53How are you?
06:54I'm good.
06:54How are you?
06:55Well, I mean, I'd say six out of ten for the day.
06:57I've had, I don't know, x-text me.
07:00And there's a lot there, so.
07:04Yeah.
07:05What about a pickup line, huh?
07:06Well, I'd probably come up to you at the bar and have a small talk like this.
07:09And then just be like, well, I've had a really productive day.
07:11I've done everything on my to-do list, except for you.
07:14Oh, that's a good one.
07:16She's ambitious.
07:18Yeah, she's got a to-do list.
07:19Exactly.
07:20She's getting shit done.
07:20Businesswoman.
07:21I am waiting for sex until my second marriage.
07:24Okay.
07:24Your second marriage.
07:26Is that okay?
07:27That could be fine.
07:28Okay, good, good, good, good.
07:29Ladies, you don't know this, but there's a fly currently flying around the production.
07:33And I thought it was a higher value set.
07:34Killed it.
07:35But you killed it?
07:35I killed it.
07:36Okay, good, good.
07:37We're going to move right along to old Ronald McDonald with the...
07:41Oh shit, those go on forever.
07:44You can definitely see on top of the fridge.
07:47How are you?
07:47I could use me one of those.
07:48I'm amazing, thank you.
07:49Okay, what was the highlight of your day?
07:52Getting here kind of late, I think.
07:54Probably watching Family Guide 2.
07:56So not being punctual is the best part of your day.
08:00Nice.
08:01That's hot.
08:01Weird flex.
08:02Hey, she won't be late.
08:05The only thing late is my period.
08:07Pregnancy joke?
08:08That was the pregnancy joke.
08:10She got it.
08:11No, I didn't get it.
08:12Yeah, but she got it.
08:13No, no, I never graduated the fifth grade.
08:14Um, okay, I'm going to ask you a pickup line.
08:17Not because I want to, but because I have to.
08:19What would that be?
08:20So I usually don't go up to men at the bar because they still approach me regardless.
08:25So I think I would probably look at you.
08:28And if you don't come up to me, then I guess you're not interested.
08:30And I just keep it moving.
08:32Wow.
08:34It's kind of simple.
08:36That got him, dude.
08:37It's kind of simple, I'm sorry.
08:38He's excited.
08:39I'm sorry.
08:39Yeah, I have a raging blood flow to my nether regions.
08:43But you can't tell because of, again, how...
08:44Okay, what's...
08:46Socks, how are you feeling?
08:47I'm great, how are you?
08:49I'm pretty good.
08:50Like I said, 6 out of 10.
08:51I've had better days.
08:52Why the no shoes?
08:54I don't really leave the house much, so I don't need shoes often, but...
08:57Okay, okay.
08:58She was like, you know what, I'm going to leave today.
09:02I don't need them.
09:03All right, why do you not leave the house often?
09:07What's your line of work?
09:08I mean, I'm an e-girl, so we don't see daylight much.
09:11If I would have told my grandpa who fought World War II that that sentence was just said...
09:17Yeah.
09:18Just for the idiots at home, an e-girl clearly stands for what?
09:26If you were to define an e-girl, what would you say?
09:28Because women should be able to talk for themselves.
09:31I mean, e-girls are just girls who stay on the internet way too long.
09:34Oh, you're just depressed.
09:37Okay.
09:38I genuinely did not know what e-girl meant, by the way.
09:40But now I know.
09:42She's educating us.
09:43Is that like ethernet, girl?
09:45You're always plugged in?
09:46Possible.
09:47That's what I thought.
09:47Nice.
09:48That makes sense.
09:49That's cool.
09:49Do we move on to sparkle shoe thing?
09:52Wait, what about my pickup line?
09:53Oh, yeah.
09:54Oh, sorry.
09:55God.
09:57I need the wait.
09:58I usually let the woman finish first, but...
10:00You hate me already?
10:02Yes, so far.
10:03I'm so insulted.
10:04It's okay.
10:05We'll get over it.
10:06How are you feeling?
10:06Okay, what's this pickup line?
10:07I apologize.
10:08Okay.
10:09Darth Vader's lightsaber is red.
10:10Anakin's is blue.
10:12If I was the force, I'd surely be with you.
10:15Wow.
10:17I hope you're Star Wars fans.
10:18I also like vitamin D, but I don't know if I'm going to be getting much of that.
10:22It's okay.
10:22I have some supplements at home.
10:24Wow.
10:25Well, at the same time, you guys should say your favorite Star Wars character.
10:28See if it works out.
10:28I'd love to.
10:29Ready?
10:30Yeah.
10:30Three, two, one.
10:32Anakin.
10:33That's Star Trek.
10:34That's Star Trek.
10:34That's crazy.
10:35Hey, was that pink skirt?
10:37That was a joke and you know it, okay?
10:39That's why I said it's crazy.
10:40I love it.
10:40I love you too.
10:41Last woman.
10:43How are you?
10:44I'm great.
10:44How are you?
10:45Dude, check out those shoes.
10:48She's got a little lock in there.
10:49She's trying to lock you down, bro.
10:52That's great.
10:53She doesn't have the key.
10:54Oh, what happened to the key?
10:56You have it.
10:56No, I don't.
10:58So the key to her heart.
10:59Nope.
11:00No, I do not have that.
11:02Absolutely.
11:04Do you have a pickup line that might make me love you?
11:06They say that kissing is a language of love.
11:09So would you mind starting a conversation with me?
11:11I see it as we're so primal.
11:14We're kind of just putting our food holes together.
11:16And when you really think about it, it's a little strange.
11:18But I wouldn't mind tongue wrestling later if you don't mind.
11:20I used to watch WWE as a kid.
11:22It takes me back.
11:23Not a big deal.
11:23Great pickup line.
11:24How are we doing so far?
11:26Um.
11:26What the?
11:30That was great.
11:31I actually kind of tuned you out for a second there.
11:34Most people do.
11:34Yeah, because I was thinking like,
11:36shit, how do I edit this out?
11:41Okay, and whoever we eliminate first has to sleep with Jared.
11:44And that's in-
11:45What the fuck?
11:45It was in a contract they signed before this.
11:47Who will you eliminate first round?
11:49I'm only doing this because I hate you.
11:52Oh no.
11:52It's no other reason, okay?
11:55Contestant number six.
11:59Why?
11:59Is that me?
12:00Wait.
12:00One, two, three, four, five, seven.
12:03Jesus.
12:03Zach, you just gave someone a heart attack.
12:05Yeah.
12:08Oh, man.
12:11Not Daphne that works on OnlyFans.
12:14How are you?
12:15I'm great.
12:15How are you?
12:16Good.
12:17This will be our one and only hug.
12:18I apologize, but-
12:19Perfect.
12:19I was interested in your friend in a way.
12:21As you should be.
12:22He's great at like really almost something.
12:25Nothing.
12:26You guys could talk about it.
12:26Nothing.
12:27Okay, perfect.
12:27Aura, we always love you on set.
12:29We love you.
12:29Come here.
12:30I love you.
12:32Listen, listen.
12:32I know you've been here all day.
12:33I was just trying to get you out so you can go home.
12:35You're welcome.
12:35I got you.
12:36Obviously, obviously.
12:38Man of the people.
12:39Bye.
12:40Bye.
12:41Oh, I think you forgot the rest of your skirt, by the way.
12:46And turn around.
12:48Wow, this changes everything.
12:51We got a little dancer over here.
12:53Doing a little dancey dance.
12:54What happened?
12:55Okay.
12:55Contestant number one, two, three, four.
12:57What happened to your knee?
12:59I slipped falling for you.
13:05That was real good.
13:06You guys are crazy.
13:07What happened though?
13:08I got attacked my first night in LA.
13:10Whoa.
13:11By who?
13:12Some crackhead on the side of the road.
13:14It was a vibe.
13:15My Uber driver shouldn't have stopped for her.
13:16Are you going to protect her?
13:18No, no, no.
13:18I don't want heroin needles coming after me.
13:20Goodness.
13:21I'm sorry that happened to you.
13:22Well, make sure to check out the Patreon, guys,
13:24because we have that full fight video on there.
13:26Round two, guys.
13:28Zach.
13:28What are we asking the lovely ladies?
13:30Okay, say this goes well.
13:32I go to your family Thanksgiving and your mom's there.
13:34She is, I'd say, 10 times hotter than you.
13:36I turn her guts inside out like a war victim.
13:40And we fall in love.
13:42Who do you cheat on to get back at me?
13:45So who's like your celebrity crush, I guess?
13:48That's how you got to that question?
13:49There's another way you can ask that, I guess.
13:51Did something recently happen to you,
13:52which is why you're asking this?
13:54Nope.
13:56All right, let's get going.
13:57Where's the exit?
13:57Nope.
13:58I'm just kidding.
13:59All right.
14:00Interesting way to ask that question, Zach.
14:03What do you think about contestant number one's outfit?
14:06Oh, very similar to before, but I see it goes higher.
14:09I thought it maybe was just from the knees down,
14:11but it turns out it does go to your hips.
14:12Yeah.
14:13But beautiful.
14:14Simple, sophisticated.
14:16Ooh, look, she's got some rings.
14:18She's got some tats.
14:19She's got some tats.
14:20Your mom would have a holy conniption if you brought her home.
14:23That is true.
14:24I can hide stuff.
14:24I hide it from my family.
14:26Forever.
14:26Forever.
14:27That's commitment.
14:28And that's why they don't matter anymore.
14:30Oh.
14:31She makes them fall in love with them first.
14:33Exactly.
14:34And then they just don't even care about anything else.
14:36Oh, that gives me another question idea.
14:38But okay, who would you cheat on me with?
14:42Just say who's your celebrity crush.
14:43If there was one celebrity that I could and had to,
14:47because you were being the worst,
14:49I would pick Nick Kroll,
14:51because he's just so silly and goofy and wonderful
14:55that he's my celebrity crush.
14:57Dude, that's awesome.
14:58That is really good.
15:00Dude, that's great.
15:00I can't wait for you to cheat on me.
15:02I want to go to dinner with him.
15:03I'd like to meet him afterwards.
15:04Yeah.
15:06Yeah, that'd be great.
15:08You're a sweetheart.
15:11I'll do it for you.
15:12I like that.
15:13It seems like it.
15:14That was great.
15:14She's got a good sense of humor.
15:15I love her.
15:16Contestant number two.
15:17Hi.
15:19How do we think about the outfit, dude?
15:20It's a little kind of...
15:21Oh, what are those ears?
15:24They're my parents' birth years.
15:25Okay.
15:26Oh, great.
15:26So when you're on your knees...
15:28Yeah, exactly.
15:28The placement was a bit questionable
15:30when I had to ask mom because dad left,
15:32but it was fine.
15:33Do you ever get a little scared
15:35that because of your knees,
15:36you'll fold forward or no?
15:39What do you mean?
15:40No, just a question.
15:42No, it hasn't crossed my mind,
15:43but now I'm a little bit worried about it.
15:44Yeah.
15:44Okay, be careful,
15:45because if you lean a little too much forward,
15:47you know, those things are going to buckle.
15:48I tore my ACL.
15:49I'm just looking out for you.
15:50Oh, dear.
15:50Poor thing.
15:51Yeah.
15:52You've had a rough go.
15:53Yeah.
15:54Speaking of rough goes,
15:55who'd you cheat on me with?
15:59Well, if I found out that you had fucked my mom...
16:01On accident.
16:02On accident.
16:03It seemed pretty intentional.
16:04To be fair,
16:05my mom's not that good looking,
16:07so that's already a loss.
16:09But for me...
16:10She put her mom under the bus.
16:14Why is your mom out here catching straight?
16:17She won't watch.
16:18She doesn't have YouTube.
16:19Everyone has YouTube.
16:20Okay.
16:21Well, I would probably...
16:22First, I would gaslight you
16:25into thinking that I wasn't upset
16:27because I like to play a long game,
16:29not a short one.
16:30You're going to hate me in the bedroom.
16:31I know.
16:32God, it's okay.
16:34But then I would find out whoever your idol is,
16:38and I would sleep with them and...
16:40The Dalai Lama, based on the tongue thing.
16:41The Dalai Lama.
16:42Oh, the tongue thing.
16:43Stop it.
16:44Oh, God.
16:44I'm in.
16:45Oh, my God.
16:45Jesus.
16:46Okay, well, I would sleep with the Dalai Lama,
16:49and while we're in bed,
16:50I would film a cameo wishing you a happy birthday,
16:54and then I would wait until your birthday the next year
16:57and then have him send it to you.
16:59Wow.
17:00So you would think that you're getting an awesome birthday gift.
17:03Yeah.
17:03But instead, she's sending me a video of her sleeping with the Dalai Lama?
17:07Yeah.
17:07That's the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.
17:11Is Nick Kroll there?
17:11Because I'm on board.
17:12So this sounds like a big mouth plot.
17:15Well, thank you for being so kind.
17:17You're so welcome.
17:17And I noticed you're standing a little straighter,
17:20and I feel like it's because I made you self-conscious.
17:21You made me self-conscious.
17:22Yeah, but I like that.
17:22I apologize.
17:23It was a joke among friends.
17:25No, I like it.
17:26Does it seem like it based on you not standing properly?
17:28Okay.
17:28Okay.
17:30Contestant number three.
17:31Well, since fair is fair and you slept with my mom,
17:35I would have to come back and sleep with your dad.
17:37You idiot.
17:38Then you'd have to find him and I get to meet him.
17:40Yeah.
17:40So win-win for me.
17:42A win is a win.
17:43You would get to find him.
17:44I would get to sleep with him,
17:45probably marry him,
17:46and I can make you be the flower girl at our wedding.
17:48Whoa, I like that.
17:51She's spicy.
17:52That's Jared's job.
17:55The flower girl.
17:57I thought you meant sleep with his dad.
18:00Jared, come on, guys.
18:03No, it was great.
18:04Well, that's wonderful.
18:05Thank you for telling me you're gonna sleep with my dad.
18:07That's really gonna do wonders.
18:08Um, hey, toes.
18:10Hi.
18:11If you were to cheat on me, how would you do it?
18:12Well, similar to contestant number three,
18:14I feel like I just have to return the favor.
18:16So I'd probably sleep with your mom.
18:19Oh, switch set up.
18:22My mom is an elementary school counselor
18:24and a God-fearing Christian.
18:26So if you think you're gonna get in there on that bush,
18:28you got another thing coming.
18:29You got a better luck getting with one of the presidents.
18:31I'll tell you that much.
18:33Contestant number five.
18:34Yes.
18:35How are we feeling?
18:36I'm feeling good, but my mom's no longer here.
18:40So if you were to sleep with her,
18:42then I would probably ask you how she's doing.
18:46Hey, hey, I'm trying to go deeper in her
18:48than we buried her, baby girl.
18:49You know what I mean?
18:51I'm trying to go six inches, not six feet.
18:53What's up?
18:53We made it her, actually.
18:55So she's not buried.
18:56She's actually ashes.
18:58But, um...
18:59I'll snort her then.
19:00I'll put her in my Keurig.
19:02So I think I would cheat on you with Ashton Kutcher.
19:06Because he's hot.
19:08And he's like a good man, I feel.
19:09I feel like I have a little bit of Mila in me.
19:12Hey, can I say something?
19:14Yeah.
19:14This is the only time I'll ever say this in a relationship.
19:16I'm sorry.
19:17For this video, I tried to say things that were funny.
19:20And I think at one point I said I would put your deceased mother
19:23in a Keurig machine and drink her.
19:25Oh, shit.
19:25No, no, you're fine.
19:26Don't worry.
19:27Have you already done that?
19:27I've gotten into dark comedy.
19:28It helps me.
19:30Yeah, look at what she's wearing, bro.
19:31You didn't even comment on it.
19:32I don't think she's doing well based on what she's wearing.
19:34Oh, no, no, I am.
19:35I'm getting therapy.
19:37Yeah.
19:37It's not working.
19:39Let's pick it up to twice a week, huh?
19:41All right, pay for it.
19:43Okay, contestant number six.
19:45What do you think about the Cookie Monster thing?
19:46She's a snack.
19:49Oh, that's a good way of looking at it.
19:50Oh, nice.
19:51She's a snack, bro.
19:53Are you insinuating that you don't have your own thoughts
19:55because you're similar to Sesame Street
19:57where the Cookie Monster is a puppet
19:59and you feel like men in society are using women as puppets?
20:04Or did you just like it?
20:05I just liked it.
20:07Yeah, no deeper meaning on this one.
20:08Okay.
20:09I like it, by the way.
20:10Who would you have physical relations with?
20:12Well, first, I don't really believe in cheating in any circumstance.
20:15I just cheated on your mom.
20:16Go.
20:18And vengeance is kind of a waste of time,
20:20but I will take all of your hopes and dreams for your life
20:23and I will top them and basically live your dream life.
20:30Okay.
20:31She's that good.
20:32It's also the name of my ball is hopes and dreams.
20:34I like that.
20:35She literally is going to make you crumble like her.
20:38Her cookie.
20:39Yes.
20:39Oh my goodness.
20:43All right, Zach.
20:45This is a double elimination.
20:48What?
20:49Yeah, I didn't even fucking tell you.
20:51Oh shit.
20:53All right.
20:54So who are you eliminating first?
20:58What was that face?
21:00Nervous.
21:01Okay.
21:02Okay.
21:05Who'd you eliminate?
21:06I don't know.
21:06All right, pick one, man.
21:07I'll pick the other.
21:09I don't think this is for anyone.
21:10Yes.
21:12Okay.
21:13Oh, thank goodness.
21:14I was going to eliminate you.
21:15It's great to meet you.
21:15There's beautiful girls out there.
21:17Oh, I know.
21:18Love you.
21:20Have a good day.
21:20Appreciate you so much.
21:22Okay.
21:23Love you.
21:26And the cookie girl.
21:29You had a much easier time with that.
21:32Hi.
21:33It's great to meet you.
21:35I don't know what the hell that is, but nice.
21:37All right.
21:38COVID.
21:39I get it.
21:40All right.
21:43Yeah.
21:43Have you seen Benchwarmers?
21:45No.
21:46Do I remind you of a character?
21:47There's a character in there that won't come out of the closet
21:48because they're scared of the sun.
21:49That sounds like me.
21:50Yeah.
21:51Anything we can help you with?
21:52What's going on?
21:54Where did it all start?
21:55Is what I'm trying to say.
21:56Daddy never came back from the grocery store with the milk,
21:59and now I'm here.
22:00Oh, and you want to be cooking something.
22:01Which I don't know where here is.
22:03Gotcha.
22:04This is a set in Burbank.
22:06Yeah.
22:07I don't know where that is.
22:08So where do I go home?
22:11Not with me, but probably this way.
22:13Okay.
22:13Love you.
22:14Bye.
22:15Have a great day.
22:16I think she's an AI.
22:21All right, Zach.
22:22We got four lovely ladies left.
22:24And turn around.
22:26Wow.
22:27They are lovely ladies.
22:28So there are four of you left,
22:30and that means only one of you are stuck with me,
22:33which honestly, you guys are going to be so mad when you get revealed.
22:37But it's fine.
22:38I have a lot of red flags, as you guys have figured out.
22:42But a question I have is,
22:43what is a red flag about yourself that you would warn a guy about?
22:47Specifically, Zach.
22:48My red flag is I tend to see the best in everyone,
22:53which is not the best because it'll bite me in the butt.
22:57I'll end up over trusting people,
22:59and then they end up effing me over.
23:03So I guess that would be it.
23:05That's actually a really sweet answer.
23:07Yeah, that was nice.
23:08That was kind of like a cop-out, though.
23:10I'm sorry.
23:11I don't know what else to say.
23:12Oh, do you work too hard?
23:15Or are you a perfectionist?
23:16My other one would be,
23:17I used to think a grizzly bear would give me a hug instead of kill me.
23:21Did you almost try to give a grizzly bear a hug?
23:24Dude, anytime I see a wild animal,
23:26I just kind of feel like they'll fall in love with me,
23:28but I'm sure they'll actually rip my eyes out.
23:29That goes with the first thing.
23:30She sees the best in animals.
23:32What was the length of the bus that you used to drive to school in?
23:35Very short.
23:36Okay, you're gonna like me.
23:39No, very sweet answer.
23:42Mom and dad knees.
23:43How we feeling?
23:43I'm feeling really good.
23:46Jared just whistled in my ear.
23:47He said, I need her.
23:48So I don't know what that means.
23:49I don't know what it means,
23:51but he was doing a play on like your tattoo and stuff.
23:52Hey, I'll take it.
23:53Yeah, he loves you.
23:54Dude, contestant number two, what's that all around your neck?
23:56What does it say?
23:57Palm?
23:58It says porn star.
24:00Porn star.
24:01Oh, I've never heard of it.
24:02What do they do?
24:03I'm not 100% sure.
24:04I just liked the necklace.
24:06I don't know if this turns you on or not,
24:07but I used to be in a cornhole league in Georgia.
24:10Oh my God, I'm great at cornhole.
24:11And we used to, we were named the corn stars.
24:15Yeah, I thought, I don't know.
24:16I just thought.
24:17Oh my God, you could get a matching chain.
24:19Yeah, I guess we could.
24:20Maybe a little kernel.
24:21Yeah.
24:22What's your red flag?
24:25I would say my red flag is that I am brutally honest,
24:29which some may say is a good thing,
24:31but some people don't take it that well.
24:33Okay, this is great.
24:34What have you not liked about me so far?
24:36To be fair, I'm not a huge fan of the shoes,
24:39but I haven't seen the rest of the fit.
24:41So, you know, it could make up for the rest of the fit.
24:43I love your sense of humor though, babe.
24:45I love that you said that because he f***ing loves those shoes.
24:49He's so proud of them.
24:52And I'm very confident I will wear them again.
24:54No, I love that.
24:55I love that.
24:55That's just my honesty coming out.
24:57You know what I'm saying?
24:57Well, I hate your shoes.
24:58Well, good.
24:59We have so much in common then.
25:01And you need to clean them.
25:03So...
25:04I told you they're my walking shoes.
25:06Well, start walking because after this round,
25:08it's not going to be good.
25:08Oh, man.
25:12Well, I would say I don't really have...
25:15I feel like everyone says this,
25:16but I don't really have a red flag.
25:17But if I had to really pick something...
25:20What are you whispering about over there?
25:21No, that is a red flag.
25:22You don't have one.
25:23Go ahead.
25:23Oh, okay.
25:24Got you.
25:25I would say that I sometimes tend to let people walk all over me.
25:30Like I'm too...
25:31Not with contestant number two's shoes,
25:32you get all dirty, I'll tell you that.
25:34It gets me in a little bit of trouble sometimes
25:36because I'm too nice, I feel like.
25:38I got you.
25:39I'm sorry that that happened to you.
25:42Yeah.
25:42Contestant number four.
25:44Oh.
25:44No, it's okay.
25:45No, it's all right.
25:46I was going to say you could...
25:46Sorry, I was just walking all over you.
25:48Yeah.
25:49Contestant number four.
25:50We love the outfit.
25:52Oh, I keep forgetting.
25:53I like all of your outfits.
25:55See, I covered it since I forgot.
25:57It's safe.
25:57We get it. You're here for our personalities.
25:59Yes, very much so.
26:01I see you have a necklace that says C on it.
26:04Why?
26:05It's the first initial of my name,
26:06but it can mean a couple of things.
26:08Like?
26:09You can use your imagination.
26:11Castration?
26:12Because I'm not into it.
26:13Castration.
26:14It's whatever you're into.
26:15She likes people that are circumcised, which you are.
26:18Yeah, I am.
26:19Nice.
26:19Perfect for me.
26:20My boy made it out the hood like Eminem.
26:22All right.
26:23Okay.
26:24Honestly, if I'm being completely honest,
26:26I think my red flag is I tend to get anxious a lot.
26:29So you might have to talk me off a ledge once or twice
26:32we're out in public together.
26:33It's a lot to deal with.
26:36I'm being honest.
26:37Well, I'm scared of heights.
26:38So if I'm talking off a lot of ledges,
26:41that doesn't bode well for me.
26:42Well, I don't tend to stand on the ledge.
26:44It's more of a, you know,
26:45sit in the fetal position kind of vibe, but.
26:47Gotcha.
26:47Easier to roll off.
26:50Like a boulder.
26:53So you might not be on this earth soon.
26:56Is that what you're saying?
26:57What? No, that's too far.
26:58That's too far.
26:59You just said keep me from jumping off.
27:02No?
27:03Just an anxious ledge.
27:04Not a...
27:05Yeah, like a metaphor.
27:06We're going metaphors.
27:07Yeah, it was a metaphor.
27:08Gotcha.
27:09His red flag is he's too literal sometimes.
27:11Yeah, I'm too literal sometimes.
27:12So that's your red flag.
27:13And I'm illiterate.
27:15I love the mixture.
27:19Okay, you guys can stop flirting with each other.
27:21We're all really cute back here.
27:23Yeah.
27:23Well, we'll see after this curtain goes up, huh?
27:26It's a joke, ladies.
27:27All women are beautiful.
27:28That's crazy.
27:29I've never seen one that's not.
27:32Who do you guys think I should eliminate?
27:34What?
27:34Doesn't matter.
27:35It's number two.
27:35Let's get out here.
27:38Brutal.
27:39Well, okay, so this is the reason why.
27:41Why?
27:42Jared here.
27:42Yeah.
27:43Ever since he saw the shoes, he's been having...
27:45You're really into that?
27:45He's really into it.
27:46Wow.
27:47And I don't want to...
27:48I can't get in front of that.
27:49No, that would be rude.
27:50Yeah.
27:51Would you happen to want to be in a committed relationship
27:53for the rest of your life with him?
27:56That's a lot to ask.
27:57It's on the table.
27:58It could be in the cards.
27:59Say this.
28:00I could put you on the table, too.
28:02I could put you on the table, too.
28:05This guy, huh?
28:06He's a deal.
28:07He's really smart.
28:07You got some bling in the teeth.
28:09Nice.
28:09You missed out.
28:10You missed out, bro.
28:11My next answer was going to be about my income, but it's fine.
28:14Oh, what is your income?
28:15She's six figures.
28:16It's fine.
28:16Oh, nice.
28:17Yeah.
28:18I usually put my value in family and love and emotions and whatever it is.
28:22Like I said, my dad laughs and my mom doesn't like the whole thing.
28:25Gotcha.
28:25It's fine.
28:26It'll work out between us.
28:27Exactly.
28:28What do you think?
28:30Oh, my God.
28:31I just can't.
28:32He's already going.
28:33He's already getting down on one knee for you.
28:35Just because yours are black.
28:36You can't see.
28:37Whoa.
28:37Well, once you go these, I'm not getting any other ones.
28:39You can't go back, you know.
28:41That's what they say.
28:42It's my business.
28:43Nice to meet you.
28:44Nice to meet you.
28:45Okay.
28:45Now, ladies.
28:48Yeah.
28:50If you know you bad.
28:52Yeah.
28:54If you had to describe your sex life using an app, what would it be?
28:57Do I comment on her?
28:59No, you're good.
29:00Okay. Sorry.
29:00Contestant number one.
29:01Do you want to comment on me?
29:02Whoa.
29:04No.
29:05Okay, word.
29:06I guess I would use TikTok because you could spend all day on me and never get bored.
29:12Wow.
29:14That's good.
29:14And it's slowly ruining my mental health.
29:16Nice.
29:18In the best way possible.
29:20Wait, at least you're having fun.
29:22Are you secretly Chinese?
29:23Okay.
29:24I guess you'll have to see.
29:25Well, because.
29:26Yeah, I got that.
29:27Jared didn't get it.
29:28He thought I was racist.
29:29Well, that's good because, you know, that's how he became famous.
29:32Through TikTok.
29:33So she.
29:33No, I'm not famous.
29:34Famous is a strong word.
29:35Famous is a phenomenally strong word.
29:37I'm trying to make him look good.
29:38I got noticed once in an Outback Steakhouse.
29:41Trust me.
29:41I still jack off to it.
29:42Just the thought of somebody knowing me though.
29:44Contestant number two.
29:46Well, this technically isn't an app anymore.
29:49But if I had to say, I would say Vine because you'll only last six seconds.
29:55That's good.
29:56And you can replay it over and over again.
29:58As many times as you want, but.
29:59I'm on antidepressants, so it's kind of hard to finish in general.
30:03So that actually means a lot.
30:04That's very true.
30:04And you know, he's opening up to you and he doesn't do that often.
30:07No, I like that.
30:08Yeah, that's good.
30:10All right, contestant number three.
30:11I would say Snapchat because my anxiety would kick in after and I'd be scared you'd ghost me.
30:18Okay.
30:19That was just sad.
30:22Just come here.
30:22This is nothing.
30:24You okay?
30:25I'm okay.
30:25I apologize for whatever you're going through.
30:28All right, guys.
30:28So the next question is for Patreon users only.
30:31So if you want to see this question and answers, check out the Patreon.
30:37You're self flirting?
30:39We were milking each other.
30:40Oh my God.
30:42Okay.
30:42Well, the reason why that's there is because of the Patreon questions.
30:46So seriously, go check it out.
30:48If you want to know why they're talking about milking each other.
30:50Zach, who are you eliminating?
30:52I'm going to be honest.
30:54Two of you are very confident in yourselves,
30:56and I feel like you could handle rejection very well.
30:58Oh God.
30:59And so it would make sense for me to eliminate one of you.
31:03Whereas contestant number green dress,
31:06if I eliminate you, you seem like you might go to God's meet and greet,
31:11which probably wouldn't be great.
31:13But also I don't care.
31:14So contestant number three, you're out.
31:17See ya.
31:17I knew the ghost was coming.
31:20It was very lovely to meet you.
31:21Nice to meet you.
31:22She did call it.
31:23Why are you so awkward?
31:24Hug the ladies, dude.
31:26I feel like after you reject someone, you don't feel like-
31:28I mean, we got a hug through the screen already.
31:29Physically embrace.
31:31Oh, decent hug.
31:33Nice to meet you.
31:34It was nice meeting you.
31:35Cece, you're awesome.
31:36Thank you for having me.
31:37Thank you, Cece.
31:37Sorry about the anxiety.
31:40You have two really good girls to choose from.
31:42Okay.
31:42It doesn't seem like it.
31:44That's kind of mean.
31:45That's wild.
31:45That's crazy.
31:46That's crazy that you would say that.
31:48He's joking.
31:50Most of his jokes don't land.
31:52That's what they all say.
31:53For this round, I know we're doing based off of it, but fuck it.
31:56Let's have you guys pop out.
31:57No.
31:58Oh, shit.
31:59And then we'll ask the last question.
32:00Ready?
32:01Oh my God.
32:06Wait, who are we going for here?
32:08This guy.
32:08This guy.
32:09Who would you want to go for?
32:11The friend.
32:12I'm kidding.
32:13I'm kidding.
32:14Well, that makes him feel bad now, so.
32:16He goes, no, I'm totally joking.
32:17He's hideous.
32:18I would never go for him.
32:19For our final question, ladies.
32:22If you were to say what your biggest ick is about a guy, what would you say it was?
32:27I mean, if I had to pick only one ick, I would probably say when you have your dogs out for
32:33no reason.
32:34Like, if you just have your, like, you know.
32:36Your dogs out.
32:37Like, you're just like walking around with your dogs out for no reason.
32:41Like, and we're not poolside.
32:41You don't like my dog handsome?
32:43No, I love dogs.
32:43I have a dog too, but like, just, you know, your toes, if they're just, you know.
32:48Just exposed.
32:49Yeah.
32:49Toes exposed.
32:50If it's not like a pool setting and you're just like stomping around with your dogs out,
32:54it's kind of an ick.
32:55What about like if you're in your house?
32:56Let's say you guys are together.
32:56I feel like, okay, that's fine.
32:58Um, this is number one.
32:59Okay, so to be quite fair, usually I don't get an ick unless, like, we barely know each
33:06other.
33:06But if we're already dating, you could do anything that probably would give anyone else
33:10the ick and it won't bother me.
33:13But I guess if like we first start dating, the icks I might get would be like, I don't
33:17know.
33:17If I like watch you, I walk in and you're flexing super hard in front of the mirror,
33:22like to the point where you're like, like just going, like ham to the point where I
33:27feel like you're going to fart.
33:29That could be an ick.
33:30Okay.
33:31But other than that.
33:32That's perfect.
33:33No muscles.
33:33Other than that.
33:34He's got zero muscles.
33:36That's perfect, Dan.
33:37As long as I don't see you.
33:39Subscribe, guys.
33:40Thanks for watching.
33:41We made our decision.
33:43Contestant number pink.
33:45You have won.
33:46Number pink.
33:48You said you liked me.
33:48And she said she did.
33:51It's okay.
33:51I'll have your friend.
33:52Well, you guys shouldn't eat though.
33:54Oh, you want to go out with Jared?
33:56You guys can double date.
33:58Let's go on a double date.
33:59There we go.
34:04I'm in love.
34:06And you said I could never do it.
34:07And look at her.
34:08What's your name?
34:11My name's keep like you just like a verb.
34:13Yeah.
34:13Oh, like mom.
34:14That's right, mom.
34:15We're in motion.
34:16Mama want to keep me around.
34:17You know what they say?
34:17Love is a verb.
34:18Yeah, because you always have to work on it.
34:20And my name's a verb.
34:21Yeah, that's.
34:22Oh, I love you.
34:25Zach, how do you feel like you chose?
34:27Because like, she's way out of your league.
34:29No, I think I think women in general.
34:32Obviously, I can speak for this because I come from a single mother.
34:35They go for personality more than looks.
34:37Yes.
34:37Whereas looks are going to fade.
34:39I mean, you're going to go downhill.
34:40I'd say at 40.
34:41Let's hope not.
34:42I mean, just rock bottom on looks.
34:44Just destroyed by the time I'm what, 41?
34:46Oh, I'm just going to look like I pushed you down a hill like old green dress.
34:49And you're just your face is like, huh?
34:51You might as well push me at that point, too.
34:53Exactly.
34:53And then so if we can have witty banter, I think then we could have a long, jovial life together.
34:58That's perfect.
34:59And if I look good by 40, if you don't push me down that hill, we're going to let Jared hit.
35:03Yeah, we're going to let him come in and do the shopping.
35:05And you're joining because you're coming for me.
35:07Well, I don't want to see Jared's penis.