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00:00Tanner, if I was you, I'd put that bag down.
00:02It's every man for himself these days.
00:07Holy fuck.
00:09This was meant for Rabbit.
00:11You can't beat police.
00:12I'm as good as any bloke in there.
00:15I'm a fist with legs.
00:16I have a little club for women.
00:19I think you and I here are going to become great friends.
00:21There's gonna be an inquiry.
00:23Police brutality.
00:24Guess who's in charge of the inquiry?
00:27Run, Rabbit.
00:28Run.
00:30Run.
00:32Well, guys.
00:34Lovely, big and tasty.
00:35Well, guys.
00:36Lovely, big and fragrant, darling.
00:40Someone went to work on you, all right.
00:42I got set upon by a bunch of good-time boys.
00:45Bastards are dusters.
00:46We made our own weapons in my day.
00:48None of you shot Paul.
00:50So I am.
00:51Well.
00:53It all started last Thursday.
00:58You know what?
00:59I can't be arsed.
01:02Why don't I heal like I used to?
01:04You got a few years on you now, Rabbit.
01:06Slow down a bit.
01:08I'll slow down when crime slows down.
01:17Heisty news.
01:21We have a youth gang problem now.
01:23I know, I know.
01:24We nubbed the blue hand mob and the popular oysters
01:27and we thought, job done.
01:28Well, that's the trouble with young people.
01:30They will keep on being born.
01:31Now, here's the gangs we're going into.
01:34The Stepney Boys.
01:35Known by their distinctive yellow ties,
01:38their greeting of Oi, Oi, Malloy
01:40and the look in their eye that says,
01:41I really like crime.
01:43I'm going to do something.
01:44The Flower Girls.
01:46Flower in the hair.
01:47Flower-based nicknames.
01:49A flower sticking out your arse after the finish bee.
01:52Look out.
01:52The rest is in the bumf.
01:54Mabel, deploy bumf.
01:59No, I don't need none of that.
02:01Just put me in the gang's guv and I'll do the rest.
02:05What are you laughing at?
02:06They're youth gangs, Grandad.
02:10So?
02:10So, you're an old fucker.
02:15How's your Oi?
02:16Strauss, you'll join the Stepney Boys.
02:18Jolly splendid.
02:19Two words that'll get you killed, son.
02:21Rabbit, prep him.
02:22Don't send a boy to do a man's job.
02:24Join in some boys.
02:26And we'll need some money.
02:27We'll need some money in the Flower Girls.
02:29Dad, dad, I was literally born for this.
02:31Sergeant Keith Carnival.
02:33You can tuck it in, can't you?
02:34I can, sir. It does tuck.
02:36Then grab a wig.
02:37You're our Flower Girl.
02:38No, no, no.
02:39Excuse me, everyone.
02:41Why get him to tuck it in when I've got a perfectly good pair of tits
02:44and a for real quim?
02:45Oh, no.
02:47Females can't be police, love,
02:49because males already are.
02:51That's logic.
02:52I've met people who say that in the future,
02:54there'll be no patriarchy.
02:56That's not even a word.
02:58This is Ricardo.
03:00He'll get you both into the gangs
03:02in exchange for not going to jail with a load of nasty perverts.
03:06Carry on.
03:07Hold up.
03:11Why didn't you pick me for that Stepney Boys gig?
03:13I still got what it takes.
03:15I'm 32.
03:1732 stone.
03:18Anyway, I've got something really juicy for you, Rabbit.
03:22Death's in an old folk's home.
03:24That's right.
03:25Well, dying's what they're meant to do in an old folk's home.
03:27There's been more than usual.
03:28Ten dead in a month.
03:30Juicy, you said?
03:31You're having a bubble bath.
03:32I ain't doing that.
03:32You bloody do what I bloody say,
03:34when I say,
03:35until I bloody say don't do what I bloody say.
03:38All right.
03:39Piss off.
03:41Hello there, me good geezer.
03:44Hop up the apples and pears to Bedfordshire, innit?
03:46Let's go up the apples and pears to Bedfordshire.
03:47You need someone to kick the cockney right up you
03:50so it don't come out.
03:51And I know just the chap to do it.
03:55Tanner.
03:57Did you want something, Rabbit?
03:59Just going to say,
04:01it can't be easy after the old explosion
04:03and everyone coming up to you and saying,
04:05is there anything I can do, Tanner?
04:07I'm fine, thank you very much, Rabbit.
04:08I'm just sitting here on my sweet harris
04:11writing a vicious little report all about you.
04:13Look here, Inspector Rabbit beat up one innocent...
04:15I once saw a young chimney sweep shoot 100 feet up in the air
04:19when his master threw a tin of wood polish in the fire.
04:22A fucking chimney sweep.
04:23In the fire, the fucking state of him when he hit the ground.
04:27A holiday.
04:29Compared to what I've got planned for you.
04:32Good to catch up.
04:34See ya!
04:37Oh, roller, roller, come and see the freak show.
04:41We've got things never seen before.
04:44Come and see the wild man covered all in air.
04:47We found him in the jungle and his daddy was a bear.
04:51And now you've got to know us.
04:53Your friendly freak show show-off.
04:56Put a penny in the...
04:58No! No! No! No!
05:01This is the emotional finale.
05:04We have to fuck them in the heart.
05:06Am I fucked in the heart?
05:08No, I am not.
05:12From the top, please, Wesley.
05:17Oh, roller, roller, come and see the freak show.
05:21We've got things never seen before.
05:24Hello, Joe.
05:26Oh, I thought you were the theatre ghost.
05:28What you after, rabbit?
05:29Strauss needs to play the part of an East End hooligan
05:32by tomorrow otherwise he's cat meat.
05:34That one, with two dozen silver spoons in his garb
05:37and spilling from his bake-a-loo, it can't be done.
05:40Is what a lesser artiste would say.
05:44Rabbit, leave him to me.
05:45I'm going to break you.
05:47And then I will remake you.
05:52What do you mean it won't tuck?
05:54I don't know, sir. It tucked last week.
05:56Sounds to me like someone needs to shit or get off the pot.
06:03It's the age. Happens to us all.
06:05I was one of the best tuckers on the force.
06:08And then one day...
06:09Dad. Dad.
06:11Dad. Dad.
06:22Inspector Rabbit, I've come about the homicides.
06:25I'm so glad they sent a more experienced officer.
06:28I'm not old, if that's what you're implying.
06:30What happened to your eyebrow?
06:32The dog chewed it off last Christmas Eve.
06:34Sounds frightful. Anyway, come in.
06:36A man your age shouldn't stand in a stiff breeze.
06:40Jesus.
06:42Here they all are. The residents.
06:44Although I like to think of them as friends.
06:47There's Jokey Jane. She's always making us laugh.
06:50That's Baby, because she's only 72.
06:52She helps me.
06:54Not lost them yet, boy.
06:56There's the gazelle. The masturbator.
06:59You tie his hands, he still finds a way to get out.
07:02And there's the dog.
07:04He's got a bit of a temper.
07:06The masturbator. You tie his hands, he still finds a way.
07:09And I think that woman next to him is called...
07:17Julie. Julie.
07:19Why don't you all say hello to Inspector Rabbit?
07:25Can they see me?
07:27They like you.
07:29You fit in.
07:31Mr Brown wore his crown
07:34upside down around the tongue.
07:36Pishpaw.
07:41No, no, no, no. Like this.
07:47Brown bird.
07:49Brown bird.
07:51Dran.
07:53Whiter. You're a slum boy.
07:55Tongue.
07:57Town.
07:59Town. Town. Town.
08:01Tan.
08:03Sorry, Norris.
08:06There. A bit more bronchio.
08:11That's it.
08:15Mr Brown wore his crown upside down around the tongue.
08:18My dear boy.
08:20I think you'll much be ready.
08:22Splendid.
08:24I mean fucking kushti.
08:26I think you did really well.
08:28Miss McHenry, do any of your friends
08:31leave you a sole beneficiary in their wills?
08:34These are poor people, Inspector.
08:36They have nothing but the clothes on their backs.
08:38What about the undertaker? Do you slip into backhander?
08:41I do not. He does it as an act of charity.
08:44Are they into anything weird or kinky,
08:46like devil worship or docking?
08:49Docking? What is this docking?
08:51Well, docking's where one fella sticks his old chap...
08:55into the...
08:57It don't matter. What's down there?
08:59Nothing.
09:01Nothing is down there.
09:04She comes in and out, the angel of death.
09:07Angel of what?
09:09But I'm ready for her size.
09:11Look, Inspector, I made it easy for her.
09:15Very nice.
09:17Better look for this angel, then, ain't I?
09:30Oh, my God.
09:32Oi, oi, m'loy.
09:34Oi, oi, m'loy.
09:36Ricardo says you're good.
09:38Says you got it in the bollocks.
09:43I'm a true knee, pal.
09:45I cut a fucker's nose off as soon as I look at him,
09:47then I mince it and I scoff it just for shit.
09:55That's the chutney.
09:57All right, girls?
10:02Let's have a wonk at your April's, Les.
10:04I'm dead behind the eyes,
10:06because I'm such a massive crimp.
10:10If you're going to be a flower girl,
10:13know this.
10:15If I send you to get the crumble,
10:17you bring me all the crumble.
10:19Comprende? Totally.
10:22By crumble, do you mean money?
10:25I like you.
10:27Let's hope for the sake of your pretty thumpkin
10:29it stays that way.
10:32So, what's the racket here, lads? What we shifting?
10:34Shooters, horses?
10:36No, no, no. Bodies.
10:39Bodies?
10:40Bodies.
10:41It's nasty work, body snatching.
10:43Rats eating faces while maggots eat the rats.
10:47Have you got the guts to steal human guts?
10:51When do I start?
10:53Soon, girl.
10:55Very soon.
11:18What are you doing, Inspector?
11:20I'm waiting for the Angel of Death.
11:22And when I find her,
11:24I'll cuff the bastard.
11:26You'll wait snugger with a blanket over your knees.
11:29We don't want you to catch a chill.
11:31Leave it out. I know what you're doing.
11:33You're making me one of them.
11:35Old.
11:36And I'm not old. I'm young.
11:38And I'm full of spunk and beans.
11:40Oh, Mr. Rabbit,
11:42I think you're nearer the end
11:44than the beginning.
11:46Fuck this.
11:49Well, that was easy as you like.
11:51Cheeky little grey rump. Get in.
11:53Hold up, hold up, hold up.
11:55It's Eyed of Goods.
11:57Doctors give us a bonus for a nice fresh one.
12:02Po-tatoes?
12:04Po-bleeding-tatoes?
12:05Po-fucking-tate-fucking-toes?
12:07There's someone sneaked in and took our body
12:10when we were on our digging break.
12:12That's more like robbery. State that.
12:14I smell flower girls.
12:15They must be close.
12:17Right, find them, lads. Find them!
12:20Come on, then. Come on, let's have it, then.
12:22Quiet, girls.
12:24Careful with the stiff.
12:25We're body snatchers, not body scratchers.
12:29She must have a left arm.
12:31Shit.
12:32He must have come off by the grave.
12:34I'll get him.
12:36Ricardo was right.
12:38You've got big balls for a girl.
12:48Uh...
12:51Oi!
12:56WHISTLE BLOWS
12:57Police, I say! Who goes there?
12:59What's he to you, copper?
13:01You're coming down the cells, you bound up!
13:03Shove it up your arse, Pete!
13:05Oh!
13:06Oh!
13:18And then Ernie said...
13:19Hold on, me old son, you buy that plot like an addict.
13:22Here's your scarf for a stepney boy now.
13:24And I got my flower and my very own gang name.
13:27I'm Marigold.
13:29Oh, I'm very happy for you both. I really am.
13:32Well, we must dash.
13:33Oh, Gwen, if I ever need to bring the boys here,
13:36I'm called Knuckles.
13:38Knuckles. Got it.
13:40I don't think I bring my lot here.
13:42They like classy places.
13:44Sorry that came out wrong.
13:46Too little.
13:50You've been glued to that chair all day, Rabbit.
13:53Ain't she meant to be up at Witch Hazel?
13:55I can't go back, Gwen.
13:57There's one killer no cop can catch, and that's time.
14:00And time's coming for me.
14:02Like poison ivy growing up in a weasel.
14:06Get back up there. Solve the case.
14:09Maybe one day I'll end up in a place like that.
14:12Gwen, as long as there is a hole in my arse,
14:15I promise you, you will never end your days
14:18in a haunted armpit like that.
14:22I'll strangle you first.
14:27You're a good friend to me, Rabbit.
14:33I'm back, and I want some answers.
14:37The Angel of Death.
14:40Oh!
14:44You've had a fall, Inspector.
14:47But I'll look after you.
14:49Just rest now.
14:52Why, it's frobbing.
14:54As a special treat, why don't you have your bedtime cocoa early?
14:58Drink your cocoa, Inspector.
15:00All right.
15:01Drink your cocoa.
15:04Drink it!
15:06Oh!
15:10Only the best for Knuckles.
15:12Cheers, Gwen.
15:13Anything else, just ask, Knuckles.
15:15I hope you enjoy them, Knuckles.
15:17I know your name's Knuckles, Knuckles.
15:20The flower girls have crossed the line.
15:22Grave robbers don't rob grave robbers.
15:24It's a sin with grave consequences.
15:26Literally.
15:29We're going to settle this with a fight.
15:31Two in the ring, one leaves.
15:33Winner gets the body-snatching record for the whole of the East End.
15:37I'll put a pony on us.
15:38Who's our fighter?
15:41It's got to be you, Knuckles.
15:43Apparently, they're sending in their new girl.
15:46Kills for fun, they say.
15:47Drink up your fighting juice, boy.
15:50It goes down tonight.
15:53Tonight?
15:57Tonight doesn't work for me, Chief.
15:59Yes, it does.
16:04Shhh.
16:17Yes, I'm so excited.
16:26I love fighting.
16:28Just going to make this take all of it first.
16:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:34Yeah.
16:37All right, let's be having it.
16:40Come on, boys.
16:43Sorry about the mess, love.
16:48I really do apologize.
16:55You look so peaceful, Inspector.
16:57If you love caring for people so much, why'd you kill them?
17:00I don't. I wish they didn't keep dying. It's so sad.
17:04I'll get you a nice tartan flannel.
17:06Try to keep breathing till then.
17:19Whoa!
17:20What do you want?
17:21Feeling dozy, Mr. Rabbit?
17:23Yeah.
17:24Coco does that.
17:26Especially after I've slipped a glug of this in it.
17:31Like Miss McKinley says,
17:33I help a little.
17:53This is not so cushy.
17:54We can't just keep staring at each other.
17:56We must, for as long as we can.
17:58When the bell rings, fight!
18:01And if you don't fight, we'll kill you both!
18:04You might have to make this look real for me.
18:06Which finger do you like least?
18:08I think they're all nice.
18:12I've sussed you out.
18:14She keeps bringing new people in.
18:16Younger people.
18:18And you want to stay the baby.
18:20Do you know how it feels to be old, Inspector?
18:24Old and invisible.
18:26Yeah, tell me about it.
18:28Was it you that coshed me?
18:30You won't live to tell no one.
18:32Did you kill the others?
18:34Held them on their way.
18:37That'll do!
18:41I didn't drink from the mug, cos I ain't no mug.
18:45So how are we all?
18:47I'm fine, but she's a murderer.
18:49Oh, that's a wee shame.
18:51And you're not a murderer, but you're odd.
18:54Inspector Rabbit.
18:58OK, now, I've got to go,
19:01but get coppers and loads of them.
19:03I want to nick Madame here.
19:06Fight!
19:07Come on, then!
19:08OK, I'm going to take an earlobe.
19:10My count is a win.
19:11Remember to scream.
19:12I don't think I'll forget.
19:20How funny is this?
19:22Watching two coppers have a melt-up.
19:24Coppers? You having a bubble?
19:26We know who you are.
19:28The Stepney Boys and the Flower Girls ain't at war.
19:31We teamed up, secretly alike,
19:33and some in the crews didn't like us getting together.
19:36So we put them in the ground.
19:38And then we dug them straight up and we sold them.
19:40Hang on, but why bother to bury the...
19:42Do you know what? This isn't the time to investigate.
19:45When we both got a recruit on the same day,
19:48we asked Ricardo a couple of questions.
19:50Didn't we, Ricardo?
19:58No!
19:59Police!
20:03Oh, a snoggy kill.
20:05That's a first.
20:06When next, mate?
20:07We've got one hope.
20:09It's not a very big one, but...
20:11When I was told about the fight,
20:13I pretended to have a panic attack.
20:14Pretended?
20:15Yes, pretended.
20:16No!
20:17But all the time, I was scratching something under the table.
20:20Perhaps Gwendolyn found my message.
20:22Perhaps she found a way to tell Rabbit.
20:24We have to pray.
20:27Who gets it next?
20:28You choose.
20:29No, you.
20:30Drop it!
20:36Just a sec, I'll get my breath back.
20:37You didn't bring backup?
20:38No, I thought the kid would.
20:40Just you, then, old-timer.
20:41If one more clever dick calls me an old-timer,
20:44well, go on, then, shoot me.
20:45Because you know you haven't got the guts to fight me man-to-man.
20:50Strauss, give me your scarf.
20:51Yeah, I read the bump.
20:53How to challenge a stepney, boy.
20:55You're not the scarf.
20:56It's like the fucking Scouts, isn't it?
20:58And then whack him in the face, like this.
21:00Or a bit like that.
21:01Or how about that?
21:02Come on, then, big boy.
21:09What is it?
21:10Is that all you've got, is it?
21:11I'll tear you apart.
21:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
21:19What's up, son?
21:20You've done a bit of a dance for us, have you?
21:22What have you done to him?
21:23I've whacked him.
21:24Put a drop of poison on the scarf.
21:26Won't kill him, but it'll fuck him up.
21:33Old-timers can still mix it up.
21:35Who else wants some?
21:39We're arresting you for the crime of snoggy kill.
21:42Yeah, plus digging up all those dead dudes.
21:44Come on, then.
21:47No more deaths at the old folks' home,
21:49apart from those that died deaf.
21:51Two gang leaders nicked for the murder of Ricardo Dominguez.
21:53Excellent work.
21:54Oh, this is for you.
21:59A police badge?
22:01Am I...?
22:02Orders from on high.
22:03Said to make you a sergeant.
22:04Absolute madness, if you ask me.
22:06That said, congratulations.
22:08I'm bloody proud of you.
22:09Splendid.
22:10Well done, girl.
22:11I'm going to enjoy this moment.
22:13Take it in.
22:15When do I get a shooter?
22:16Bloody hell.
22:17After two months of firearms training.
22:24Who's bringing back bloody drugs?
22:28Oh, here we are.
22:29Right.
22:30Hand this to the front desk.
22:31They'll get you booked in.
22:32Yes, Dad. Thanks, Dad.
22:33Well, this calls for a drink.
22:35Any of you whelks going down to Rabidab for a sniffed up?
22:38Me, if you promise never to talk like that again.
22:41I went so far undercover,
22:42I hardly know where I end and Knuckles begins.
22:44I'll come in a bit.
22:45I've got some people to tell.
22:51It's been a good week.
22:53An extra penny an hour for the girls at the shoe factory,
22:56and the two ladies have secured their first coffee break.
22:59They need to make the coffee themselves, but it's a step.
23:02Best of all, we have with us
23:04London's first female police officer,
23:06to Mabel Whizbeach.
23:08Oh.
23:11Right.
23:12I'm going to get on the chair.
23:13I'm going to get on the chair.
23:14I'm going to get on the chair.
23:17I love you lot.
23:18Women coming together from different worlds.
23:21You're a scientist.
23:23You're a hooker.
23:24I'm an artist.
23:25Of course you are.
23:26Of course you are.
23:27And I'm proof that we can move up in the world
23:29based on our merit.
23:31I mean, there's no glass ceiling any more
23:33because I smashed the fuck out of it!
23:38I'm going to go for a piss, but when I come back,
23:40I'm going to show you my seven life lessons.
23:43There were five, but I came up with another two
23:45because I am on fire!
23:54Ladies, ladies, ladies.
23:56Ladies, ladies, ladies.
24:01Doesn't she realise it was us that made her a policewoman?
24:04We can't use her.
24:06She isn't ready.
24:08She will be.
24:10Soon.
24:37Soon.
24:38Soon.