How BIG are you? (Asking Americans about their Size)

  • 2 days ago
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Transcript
00:00How would you rate yourself approximately on the scale right now?
00:020 to 25?
00:04Today, we're gonna find out how big Americans really are.
00:07Alright, alright, alright.
00:08Everything is bigger in America, right?
00:09The people are thicker in America.
00:11Would you say the same applies to your penile size?
00:16Happy?
00:18Wait, what? Say that again.
00:20I work for the German BBC.
00:21This is for science, right?
00:22So we're doing a study about America.
00:23How big is your cock right now?
00:24It's massive.
00:25Massive?
00:26Yeah.
00:26God bless America.
00:27Yeah.
00:28Could you give us an idea, just like roughly on the scale, like where would you put yourself?
00:31Like this being 25 inches, like roughly?
00:34Probably 16.
00:3516?
00:36Yeah.
00:36God bless America.
00:37Would you say America in general, Americans have just bigger dongs than other people?
00:41Not necessarily, I don't think.
00:42I think like if you go to like Africa or something.
00:45Not to be stereotypical, but like...
00:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48You go to like...
00:48Yeah, yeah.
00:49No, so you gotta be like mindful of that.
00:51Like Italy, I think they probably...
00:52Italy?
00:55Italy!
00:56Dude, I played soccer in Italy.
00:58Don't worry about the Italians, no, we're good.
01:00Yeah, no, Italians have tiny wieners, don't worry about that.
01:02So, but for yourself though, where would you rank yourself roughly on the scale from 0 to 25 inches?
01:07Myself?
01:08Just ballpark.
01:08Almost.
01:09Not quite that big.
01:10Do we have to get another scale?
01:12Is it big enough for you?
01:13Like just tell me where to stop, right?
01:15It's like right here.
01:17Yeah?
01:18The confidence went down a little bit, but I think the American dream is still alive.
01:20Jake, I think your shoes are so sick.
01:22The only question is, how big is your dick?
01:257 inches.
01:267 inches?
01:27Yeah, I know, I know.
01:28It's crazy, right?
01:29What about you, my friend?
01:30It's that and that.
01:31Is that something you're insecure about, or is that...
01:33No, I'm very happy.
01:34You're confident about it?
01:35It's about 7 inches, right?
01:36If you could change anything about your manhood, is there anything you would change?
01:39No.
01:40No? 2 inches happy?
01:41Yeah.
01:42See, that's what I'm saying.
01:432 inches is enough.
01:44Take that home, kids.
01:45Write that down.
01:46My buddy right here from the UK, he said his penis was about 2 and a half inches.
01:48Is that something that would concern you, or is that something you're accepting about?
01:52Motion in the ocean.
01:53Motion in the ocean?
01:54Is there, like, a preference, though?
01:55I mean, we're very accepting here.
01:56It's LA, you know?
01:576 and a half.
01:586 and a half?
01:59Hey, I'm almost fucking there.
02:00What's up, guys?
02:01How's it going?
02:02Can I ask you a question?
02:03I learned everything about America, right?
02:04The stereotype is that everything is bigger in America.
02:06Cars are bigger.
02:07Your military budget's bigger.
02:08Would you say the same applies to your penile size?
02:12No, because of microplastics.
02:17Ain't nobody getting no blood flow to their membrane anymore, so it's looking pretty shrimpy.
02:21People who are, like, 20 years old are having, like, erectile dysfunction.
02:24If something tells me you're packing, my man, like, I don't know.
02:26I'm not disappointing you, too.
02:27I've disappointed a lot of people in my life.
02:29Listen, brother, you can't disappoint me, okay?
02:32I'm very accepting.
02:33I just want to be honest, though.
02:34That really is the case.
02:35It's just surprising to me, because I don't know if you were, but, you know, you're black.
02:39Yeah, I don't really mean that.
02:40I eat the same thing everybody else eats out here.
02:42That's a whole stereotype.
02:43Whoever started the whole, like, oh, like, black dudes have, like, bigger, like, penises
02:47or stuff like that.
02:48It's all American men.
02:49Yes.
02:50If you stay out here too long, you're going to notice some loss in size, bro, so be careful.
02:54Get out while you can.
02:55Be careful.
02:56I can tell, like, it's shriveling up as we speak.
02:57This is crazy.
02:58Wow.
02:59So you think black men is more, like, actually in Africa, but once they come to America,
03:02they just become American?
03:03Literally.
03:04Yes.
03:05They become American.
03:06Yes.
03:07I'm so sorry for your loss.
03:08I'm so sorry.
03:09I'm so sorry, my man.
03:10What are we going to do about it?
03:11Ban microplastics.
03:12Ban microplastics.
03:13Ban vapes and jewels.
03:14Yeah.
03:15And tell people to pray.
03:16Pray for bigger penises.
03:17Literally.
03:18Are you American?
03:19I'm American.
03:20You look like a Navy SEAL.
03:21I'm a U.S. Marine.
03:22See?
03:23Not a Navy SEAL.
03:24I mean, I don't know.
03:25It's pretty fucking close.
03:26It's pretty close.
03:27I love that.
03:28I love that.
03:29I'm from Germany, and I thought everybody was going to dress like this.
03:30Really?
03:31Nobody is.
03:32I'm the most American-looking guy, and I'm not even American.
03:33You know what I'm saying?
03:34I like your fit.
03:35Thank you so much.
03:36Actually, I think everybody should dress like this.
03:37Oh, thank you so much.
03:38Everything is bigger in America, right?
03:39Like, cars are bigger.
03:40Everything's bigger in Texas.
03:41Everything's bigger in Texas.
03:42Everything's bigger in Texas.
03:43Yeah.
03:44What do you say the same applies to your penile size?
03:50I don't know about that one.
03:52He backpedaled quick on that one.
03:54He's like, everything's bigger in Texas.
03:55Everything, brother.
03:56I'd say everything but that.
03:57Everything but that.
03:58Do you drive a car?
03:59I do drive a car.
04:00What car do you drive?
04:012020 Hyundai Elantra.
04:02It's a sedan.
04:03It's a sedan, so like a chill car.
04:04Do you have like a small car because you have a large penis?
04:08You know, actually, that stereotype is 100% true.
04:11The people that drive those big lifted trucks definitely are not their overcompensator.
04:14So, by that logic, Texas should have the smallest dicks and like Seattle probably has the...
04:19It's probably true.
04:20That is probably 100% true.
04:21I work for the German BBC.
04:22Yeah, I'm Lil Ant.
04:23I'm from Compton.
04:24Compton.
04:25There you fucking go.
04:26Nice to meet you, man.
04:27Nice to meet you.
04:28I think your shoes are so sick, right?
04:30The only question is, how big is your dick?
04:32I can tell you that because I fuck him all the time.
04:35Let me tell you.
04:36People are asking him.
04:37He fucking rocking.
04:38Nah, man.
04:39You know what I'm saying?
04:41You know what I'm saying?
04:42You know what I'm saying?
04:43You know what I'm saying?
04:44You know what I'm saying?
04:45If you could rate yourself approximately?
04:46The whole thing.
04:47God bless America.
04:48The American dream is still alive.
04:49Has it ever been too big?
04:50Nah, it's perfect.
04:51Like mine is about half.
04:52This is America right here.
04:53I love it.
04:54I love it.
04:55Everything is bigger in America.
04:56Would you say the same applies to your penile size?
04:57Oh, that's a question for you.
04:58Oh.
04:59Happy?
05:00Yes.
05:01Yeah.
05:02American dream.
05:03Yeah.
05:04Yeah.
05:05I'm happy.
05:06You're happy.
05:07Hell yeah.
05:08That's all that matters.
05:09You have a scale here, right?
05:10It's like a scale from zero to 25 inches.
05:11Where do you put yourself?
05:12Six.
05:13Six.
05:14That's good.
05:15That's more than the average.
05:16Yeah.
05:17Yeah.
05:18God bless America.
05:19Are you German?
05:20Oh, no.
05:21No.
05:22You look a little German.
05:23We believe so, but I don't know.
05:24Haven't took a test yet.
05:25Do you have some German in you?
05:26My mother's maiden name is Combs.
05:27And so we think so.
05:28Yeah.
05:29Do you want some more?
05:30No.
05:31No.
05:32No.
05:33No.
05:34A little bit.
05:35A little bit.
05:36Yeah.
05:37Do you want some more German in you?
05:38I'm kidding.
05:39I'm joking.
05:40I think your shoes are so sick.
05:41The only question is, how big is your dick?
05:44Me?
05:45Yeah.
05:46Yeah.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Yeah.
05:49Yeah.
05:50Yeah.
05:51Yeah.
05:52Yeah.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Yeah.
05:55Yeah.
05:56Yeah.
05:57Yeah.
05:58Yeah.
05:59Yeah.
06:00Yeah.
06:01Yeah.
06:02Yeah.
06:03Yeah.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Yeah.
06:06Yeah.
06:07No, my dick is not very big.
06:08No.
06:09I always say, in America, they say, five inches is enough.
06:13Five is enough.
06:15My name is Mario, I'm from Germany.
06:16Where are you guys from?
06:17California.
06:18California.
06:19I've been here for four years now.
06:20There's stereotypes about America, you know, people say, everything is bigger in America.
06:23Brian, would you say the same applies to your penis size?
06:27Let me see, baby.
06:30Because I work for the GPI for the German Penis Institute we're doing an
06:34empirical field study you know I've asked people all around the world so I'm
06:37trying to do is get some research on America so if you could rate yourself on
06:41the scale from 0 to 25 inches where would you rank yourself just ballpark
06:45shit my husband's not small
06:49I had a feeling he wasn't. I could see it in his eyes. You got like I don't know something about you
06:54just tell me where to stop all right I'm just gonna go up here
06:56do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
07:03oh shit. He ain't big. 12! The American dream is still alive ladies and gentlemen let's go God bless America
07:09Dynamites come in small packages don't ever forget that
07:14hey congrats on the big dick that's awesome awesome I'm jealous you know on a
07:21scale from 1 to 10 like if just like ballpark where would you say you would
07:24land on the scale here about a six and are you happy with that or is that
07:28something we change about that I'm content you're content that's awesome I
07:31love six inches enough see we body positivity right here it's hilarious how
07:35would you rate yourself approximately on the scale right now from like 0 to 25
07:40I'm going to like 6. All American size. Good American six yeah yeah what
07:45about you've been oddly quiet I've been letting him answer all the questions for me
07:48smarter than me can you also answer his dick size on behalf of him as the leader
07:51of the group. As soon as you got team leader. Because you've seen it yeah yeah I'm so happy I saw it by the way what was the
08:02scenario I'm so sorry you guys feel so left out bro I think it was in the
08:05morning waking up and he has to change his skivvy shorts he's changing he turns
08:10around he's just wow just that all-american six-inch dick. All-american six inches. What car do you drive?
08:15I use my Lamborghinis. Lamborghinis? Bro you don't have a car? Your dick must be so big if you
08:21don't even have a car. It's like reverse psychology compensating this is wild
08:24thanks so much. German? I am. Du bist aus Deutschland? Wir haben ein deutsches Land hier.
08:29Are you proud to be in America? Well it depends yeah I am. What's the best thing about
08:34America as a German living here? LA definitely the weather. I learned
08:38recently that there's lots of microplastics here in America that make
08:41your penis shrivel. Have you noticed a decrease in size since you've come to
08:45America? No I haven't. Have you? I think so a little bit maybe it's just I'm
08:50getting older you know what it is. I'm doing a bi-weekly show in LA if you guys
08:56are in LA come see me live. All my tour dates are on my website marriage.com
09:00doing a show at August 1st August 29th in LA at a small club in WeHo. How big
09:05your dick is? Well I asked the question about half the size of your man which
09:12is still good by the way one two three German DJ techno I mean that's like this
09:17okay okay oh my god yes oh my god yes Wow everything in America is bigger cars
09:31are bigger military budgets are bigger portions at restaurants are bigger and
09:35everything's bigger in America generally would you say the same applies to your
09:38penis size hmm can't say it applies not at all
09:42Africans got us beat. If you could put yourself on the scale here where would
09:48you ballpark just rank yourself on the scale? We're probably like at the five.
09:52That is great you know if I become president I'm gonna say five inches is
09:55enough five inches is it right? I think body positivity yeah where would you
09:59rank yourself like if this is like on a scale from 0 to 25? These are inches?
10:03These are inches yeah. I need millimeters. You know millimeters? Slightly. Can you
10:08explain to me why Americans I'm sorry I don't like using this word but the
10:11retarded imperial system? Growing up I've always been told is because the imperial
10:15system is a lot bigger than the metric system. Bigger in what way? So like miles
10:19are a lot longer than kilometers pounds are heavier than kilograms. America's
10:22bigger we like to measure stuff in bigger units. Of course you have the big
10:26dicks you got to have the bigger units for that you know we measure dicks in
10:29miles goddammit America this is right hell yeah brother. I understand how big is your you feel me?
10:34Yeah. But you ain't never asked how fat.
10:40What do you rank yourself on this one here? How do you feel about the fact that
10:49yours is about half his size? Hey man you gotta love yourself man body
10:54positivity congrats on the big dick brother thank you so much guys
10:57oh baby how are you see me on tour I'm coming all over the US right god bless
11:02America happy 4th of July