Asking DRUNK Germans at Oktoberfest Questions you’re too afraid to ask…
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00:00They throw up and f**k. That's what they do.
00:03This is a thick one.
00:04Today I'm going to ask strangers at Oktoberfest the questions that you are too afraid to ask.
00:08It's me, Mario.
00:09Here we go.
00:10We're reporting live from Oktoberfest in Germany.
00:12Things are getting out of control here.
00:14But I'm going to ask the most drunk people at Oktoberfest questions you all need to know.
00:18How long is your schlong dong currently?
00:22Like and subscribe.
00:23Like the German aggression you have right now.
00:26Where are you from?
00:27Fuck off.
00:28Fuck off.
00:29I'm from the UK, baby.
00:30I guess you're from the UK, yeah.
00:32Mate, your language is great.
00:34Harry Styles, smash or pass?
00:36Smash or pass?
00:37Yeah, smash or pass, Harry Styles.
00:39My birds are probably watching this.
00:40Your birds watching this?
00:42My girlfriend.
00:42Yeah, no, she's fit as f**k.
00:44Okay, great, great.
00:45What's your goal at Oktoberfest today?
00:47What do you want to achieve today?
00:48Um, I want to get absolutely f**king wasted.
00:50I'm here with my dad.
00:51Dad!
00:52You're also from the UK?
00:53UK, yeah.
00:54Fantastic.
00:54So you collectively, what do you guys want to achieve today?
00:57What's your big goal at Oktoberfest?
00:58Drink lots of beer.
00:59Drink lots of beer.
01:00How many masks have you had today?
01:04I can't remember.
01:05What's the craziest thing you've ever done at Oktoberfest?
01:08Um, last night I went to the wrong hotel.
01:11You went to the wrong hotel?
01:12Oh no!
01:13No, I got pulled in by very nice locals in Munich.
01:18Amazing.
01:19And into a club last night.
01:21Wow, okay.
01:21And they were like, come in, come in, come in.
01:23And I was like, this is fantastic.
01:26This is amazing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:27I love your energy, man.
01:28And last question.
01:29Are you a grower or a sower?
01:31A gentleman's arsehole is his castle and he'll guard it with his life.
01:35I didn't understand a single word of what you said.
01:37A gentleman's arsehole is his castle and he'll guard it with his life.
01:42Wow, that's amazing.
01:44I love the wisdom there.
01:45An Irish lad once told me, I got a small mickey but the arse of a sewing machine.
01:50Right, right.
01:51How tall are you in centimeters?
01:52206 centimeters.
01:54Let's go.
01:54How many masks have you drunk today?
01:56Oh, not many.
01:56I'm just here since one hour.
01:57So like two or three.
01:59I love that.
01:59German fishing.
02:00Been one hour, three masks in.
02:01All right, let's go.
02:02You can let me motorboat you.
02:04My big titties, yeah.
02:05Yeah, let's do it.
02:06But I have to take it off.
02:06Why do I have to take my clothes off, you know?
02:08You know, because that's what the people want to see.
02:10No, but like only the top, not the whole thing.
02:12You can keep your pants on, all right?
02:13All right.
02:14Wait for me.
02:15Okay.
02:16What's your goal?
02:16How many masks are you going to drink today?
02:18Only two, I think.
02:19Only two?
02:20I cannot handle more.
02:22Are you German?
02:22Yes.
02:23Okay, nice.
02:24Because I'm also German.
02:25I don't drink beer.
02:26Okay, you don't look like a German person.
02:30Which TV are you from?
02:31Which TV?
02:32I work for BBC, the British broadcasting.
02:34I just listened.
02:35I love, I love.
02:36Yeah, I'm so sorry because of the Queen.
02:38I'm sorry.
02:39Yeah, yeah.
02:39Our whole nation is mourning right now.
02:41I'm so sorry.
02:42Then question for you.
02:43Where are you from?
02:44Berlin.
02:45Berlin.
02:45Amazing, amazing.
02:46Did you attend any techno gangbangs in Berlin?
02:49I have to say I went to Berghain with Seventeen.
02:52It was quite nice.
02:53Okay.
02:54What's the craziest thing you've seen at Berghain?
02:57Yeah, it's like a major gangbang, probably.
03:01Major gangbang, probably.
03:03Let's go.
03:04I'll drink another beer.
03:05Okay, awesome.
03:06Thanks for talking with me.
03:06I appreciate that.
03:07That's all good.
03:08Cheers.
03:09This is a natural soap and a natural soap promotes natural testosterone.
03:14Is that so?
03:14Testosterone lets you grow a beard, man.
03:17So you have no issues with erectile dysfunction?
03:19Not at all.
03:20Have you ever had?
03:20High energy levels.
03:22Let's be real, let's be real for a second.
03:24Have you ever had?
03:25Were you nervous at all?
03:26Have you ever not been able to get it up?
03:28No.
03:28Let's be real.
03:29Since I've been using...
03:30I told you, let's be real.
03:31You're always just like German Krupp style, just straight, hard, all...
03:35I'll tell you, man, I got...
03:36During my first one-night stand, I had troubles.
03:40You had troubles?
03:40Yeah, yeah.
03:41I was nervous, you know.
03:43How many one-night stands have you had?
03:44You smash a lot?
03:45I'm not gonna talk about this.
03:46This is a private issue.
03:46It's my first one-night stand.
03:49So there's one, guys.
03:50There's one.
03:51One girl left unsatisfied.
03:54Last question.
03:55How do you feel about wearing a mustache as a German guy?
03:57Because based on her history, you know, it can be kind of problematic.
04:00Thank you, thank you.
04:01I love this.
04:01I love this.
04:02This is the perfect...
04:03He's Bundeskönig.
04:05He's the chancellor of Germany, the Bundeskanzler.
04:07Mr. Bundeskanzler.
04:09He's the king of Germany.
04:11King of Germany.
04:13How long is your schlong dong?
04:1640 centimeters.
04:1740 centimeters.
04:18That's real German right there.
04:21I live in Los Angeles.
04:22Oh no, all right.
04:23Oh no, oh no.
04:24We're not welcome here, guys.
04:26Go back to your country, American.
04:28All right, now we got the karate.
04:30You know what's happening right now.
04:36Where are you guys from?
04:40All right, where were we?
04:41What just happened?
04:42We're left with the chancellor of Germany.
04:45Okay, thank you, sir.
04:46Thank you, sir.
04:48I'm pretty sure I just got acid from some dude.
04:51Ask you a question, my friend.
04:52I'm from the BBC.
04:54I live in Los Angeles.
04:55Californication.
04:56So you're like a real Bavarian?
04:58Yes.
04:58How do you feel about Americans culturally appropriating German culture
05:02by putting on lederhosen?
05:04Is it cultural appropriation?
05:05Yes.
05:06Yes?
05:06All the Americans that come here, you cancel them, yeah.
05:09Why do you come here?
05:12Because I don't have a real job.
05:14Do you not have parties in California?
05:17Not like this.
05:18Not like this.
05:19Our parties are different.
05:20They're like fentanyl laced.
05:21People die from it.
05:22It's not as fun as here.
05:23Guys, this video comes on TV.
05:27CNN.
05:28Los Angeles.
05:28CNN.
05:29BBC.
05:30Los Angeles.
05:31Yeah, Los Angeles BBC.
05:32That's where I work for.
05:34Oh my god.
05:35What's the craziest thing you've seen at Oktoberfest?
05:37The craziest thing you've seen?
05:41A little bit stupid people.
05:44What's that look?
05:45What's that look?
05:45I couldn't tell.
05:47Nothing.
05:47I'm shy.
05:48How about I show you a nude and you rate it on a scale from 1 to 10?
05:52What?
05:53Yes.
05:53Show me.
05:54Would you consider yourself a penis expert, like a penis-er?
05:57I'm too shy for this question.
05:59He looks at me like, I'm too shy for this question.
06:04Wait, wait.
06:04I gotta find a good one.
06:06All right, this is for a magazine I did called Yummy Magazine.
06:09Shout out.
06:09And this is the nude.
06:11Yes.
06:11Oh, that's very sexy.
06:12I like.
06:14A 9?
06:15Let's go.
06:16That's amazing.
06:17It's an 8.
06:19Jesus, okay.
06:20I'm not gonna say anything.
06:20We'll get 8.
06:21Lock that in.
06:22Lock that answer.
06:22Lock in that answer.
06:23What's your plan today?
06:24What are you guys gonna do?
06:25You're gonna just drink more here or like what's your game plan?
06:27What do you want to achieve today?
06:28We want to go to home.
06:30With somebody or just in general?
06:32With him.
06:32With him?
06:33Go to the concert today.
06:34To the concert?
06:35I love him.
06:37He's a good Christian boy, you know?
06:38He's like, I gotta go to the concert, you know?
06:40Sing for the choir, you know?
06:41Sorry for that.
06:41How many masks did you drink today?
06:44Six.
06:45Six?
06:45Holy shit.
06:46How many are you gonna drink?
06:48Eight.
06:49Eight?
06:49Amazing.
06:50And you're German?
06:51Yeah.
06:51Of course you are.
06:52Of course you are.
06:53How many masks did you drink?
06:54On a good day, maybe eight.
06:57Eight?
06:57What a guy.
06:58What a guy.
06:59If today was your last day on earth, what would you be doing?
07:03Oktoberfest.
07:04Oktoberfest?
07:05That's the one, yeah?
07:05Yeah, yeah.
07:06You like Oktoberfest?
07:07I live every day like it's my last day.
07:09Live every day like it's Oktoberfest.
07:11I love that.
07:11And what's your goal today?
07:12Do you guys come here to like drink?
07:13Do you come here to like sing?
07:15Do you come here to like bang chicks behind a dumpster?
07:17Like, what's the goal?
07:26Where are you guys from?
07:27Just next door.
07:28Just next door?
07:29You live here?
07:30You live at Oktoberfest?
07:31How long have you been coming here to Oktoberfest?
07:33Before we are answering your questions, how many followers do you have?
07:37Even in Munich, man.
07:38Even in Munich.
07:39Cloudcheck first.
07:40I think it's 750,000 now.
07:42Okay, that's okay.
07:43That's okay?
07:44That's okay.
07:44Since when have you been coming here to Oktoberfest?
07:47Since I was 15, I guess, yeah.
07:50Damn.
07:50It was a one-hour train ride and we always had a crate of beer.
07:54What age did you guys start drinking in Germany?
07:5711.
07:5711?
07:59I don't get your love.
08:00It's different somewhere else.
08:01Yeah, in the US, you can drink when you're 21 years old.
08:04No, in Germany, it's allowed to drink beer when you're 16.
08:07If you have a cool father, you start at 12.
08:09Okay, you start at 12.
08:10That's amazing, that's amazing.
08:11What's the traditional German breakfast?
08:13You wake up and drink beer.
08:15Yeah.
08:15You wake up and drink beer.
08:16You meet friends.
08:18That's what the Bavarian does.
08:19We sleep in these shorts.
08:21We are from the mountains, so we sleep in these shorts.
08:24We have these big glasses, stiefel, and drink beer from it.
08:28Are you guys engineers, by the way?
08:29Yeah, we are.
08:30I knew it!
08:31You guys are the most Germans ever.
08:32I love it, I love it.
08:34We're working for BMW, yeah.
08:36Then, okay, last question for you.
08:38Last question, very important.
08:39Everybody wants to know.
08:40How long currently, currently, in this weather, these conditions,
08:44is your schlong dong currently?
08:4712 inches.
08:4812 inches!
08:49He's a real German, guys.
08:51He's a real fucking German.
08:53Guys, I can't believe I made it.
08:54We made it to the fucking beer set at Oktoberfest, right?
08:56We had to suck some guy's dick to get in here.
08:59Water at fucking Oktoberfest.
09:00For all the Germans out there, do you see that, dad?
09:02I'm a real German now.
09:05Let's go!
09:07I love it, I love it.
09:08Very good, wunderbar, wunderbar.
09:09All right, guys, we're here with Mr. Sven Gold.
09:12What's up, what's up?
09:13How drunk are you right now?
09:14Right now, not much.
09:15I just came, but I will be drunk as fuck in a minute.
09:18Okay, what's the maximum?
09:19How many mass did you drink in one day?
09:21What's your record?
09:23Like eight or something.
09:24Eight mass, holy shit.
09:25But that's a normal, typical Bavarian guy, you know?
09:28That's typical.
09:29Six to eight, you have to drink that.
09:30And a lot of people are coming to the Oktoberfest,
09:32they are thinking, oh yeah, I can handle that shit.
09:34The beer here is much stronger than everything else.
09:36If you're trained, if you were born here, then it's different.
09:40So you're a German, you're a real German dude?
09:42I'm a real German, I'm a Bavarian guy.
09:43I live here in Munich.
09:44I live like 10 meters away from the main entrance,
09:46so we're used to that.
09:47Have you ever smashed at Oktoberfest,
09:49like behind a dumpster, like down there the stairs or something?
09:52No, but I've seen a lot.
09:53Behind that tent, there is the, we say, Kotzhügel,
09:57Kotzhügel, that they throw up and fuck.
10:00That's what they do there.
10:01For real?
10:02If you aren't a German or something like that,
10:04if you want to come to the Oktoberfest train,
10:05because if not, you're going to die.
10:08You're going to die.
10:09You will die.
10:14You have the most beautiful calves I've ever seen.
10:16Show your calves for a second.
10:17Like Jesus fucking Christ, what do you do for a workout?
10:21Okay, what's like the craziest thing you've ever seen at Oktoberfest?
10:24I saw people were having sex on the Oktoberfest.
10:27Sex here? Where?
10:28On the small hill, which is right behind us.
10:32It's cold as fuck here, I'm shriveling right now.
10:35It's like 10 degrees.
10:37If I had to have sex right now,
10:38like my little bro right there would be shriveled as fuck.
10:41I'll be real with y'all, you know?
10:43Yeah, but I don't think that...
10:46You don't shrivel.
10:46You're a German, Germans don't shrivel.
10:48You're always hard, like Gruppestahl?
10:54If I want to have sex right now, so hypothetically,
10:56if you and I have sex right now, hypothetically, hypothetically, right?
10:59Where would you do it?
11:00I would go to my really nice home.
11:04Totally warm.
11:06Probably I would fire it in the oven.
11:08Let's go, let's go.
11:09Give me a little shoulder massage, a foot rub.
11:12No, not that, not that, cut that out, cut that out.
11:14Fuck, marry, kill between me, Michael and Dario, go.
11:18In English, please.
11:18No, no, I would fuck you all, guys,
11:21and marry you all, and kill someone else.
11:24Wait, the last one sounded off, man.
11:26The last one sounded weird.
11:27It's a Wiesenpickle.
11:28You give me a...
11:30There's something very...
11:31Excellent.
11:32Thank you, thank you, thank you.
11:32If anybody can handle it, it's me, you know what I mean?
11:35I'll enjoy it with him.
11:36Okay.
11:37Let's eat it from two ends, yeah.
11:46This is a thick one.
11:46It's a very bonding moment.
11:50I love it.
11:51You ever had a thick one in your mouth like that?
11:53No, never.
11:58That's how Germans bond, you know what I mean?
12:00Last one.
12:02It's finally time, Martin.
12:04It's finally time.
12:05I've been waiting for it for five years.
12:08It's not gay, it's Oktoberfest.
12:14All right, guys, that was intense.
12:15I think we're all gonna fuck later.
12:16You can share pickles with your best friends,
12:18and it's not a big deal.
12:18All right, guys, this was fucking crazy.
12:20Oktoberfest was fucking insane.
12:21I don't know what to say.
12:22It's getting insane every minute.
12:24It's getting out of control.
12:25My battery's about to die.
12:27Exactly.
12:28It's gonna get out of control.
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