Lying To Be Perfect - Full Romantic Movie

  • 2 days ago
Transcript
00:00:00La la la, everybody say oh oh oh
00:00:05Hot night in the city, ain't no water in the well
00:00:09Mama ain't gonna sleep tonight, just gonna break on out of the cell
00:00:13I'm telling you baby, you're driving me crazy
00:00:17We are all Cinderella, no matter what our size
00:00:21Within each one of us there is a unique beauty and grace
00:00:26Finding that beauty, however, isn't easy
00:00:29See, Cinderella had to first recognize that her problem wasn't her evil stepmother
00:00:34Her problem was that it was easier to hide out cleaning the house than it was to go out and find happiness
00:00:41She needed a fairy godmother to empower her with the kind of self-confidence it takes
00:00:46to reject the insecurity brought on by unrealistic, overachieving, airbrushed, anorexic princess images in the media
00:00:53I'm telling you baby, you're driving me crazy
00:00:58I swear to you every moment I'm stuck in this place
00:01:02I go low, oh, like Diablo
00:01:04Let's go, we're breaking down the door
00:01:07Let's go, we're taking over the floor
00:01:09Let's go, let's go, we're never gonna fall
00:01:11We're gonna go until we just can't go
00:01:13Let's go, we're breaking down the door
00:01:16Let's go, we're taking over the floor
00:01:19It took some very large ovaries for Cinderella to make a change
00:01:24to trade in her scrub brush for a fabulous pair of dancing shoes
00:01:30But boy, was it worth it
00:01:54Ah!
00:02:03I'm gonna be so late
00:02:12No, not today, I'm so late
00:02:15Not today
00:02:16You okay?
00:02:17Yeah, I, uh, it's pumpkin
00:02:20My car, broke down
00:02:22Thank you
00:02:23You named your car Pumpkin?
00:02:24Yeah, she's a, uh, 65 Mustang, restored
00:02:29You know, kind of a pumpkin indoor coach kind of thing
00:02:35I'm at Shine
00:02:36You, you work here?
00:02:38Just part time, you?
00:02:40Yeah
00:02:42Until I get fired for being late to a meeting
00:02:46Thank you
00:02:48Lori!
00:02:52The meeting's already started
00:02:54Lori's having a stroke
00:02:55Oh
00:02:56Nice of you to join us this morning
00:02:58Um, Lori, my car died and, uh
00:03:05So, Nancy, tell me
00:03:08Can they sue us?
00:03:10People can sue for anything
00:03:12It's my job to stop them
00:03:13But let's be careful the names we throw around
00:03:16When we write an article about celebrity cougars
00:03:18She should be flattered
00:03:20Okay, people, other ideas
00:03:2240 is the new 20
00:03:23Feisty foreplay tips
00:03:24Feel great, naked workout
00:03:26Nola!
00:03:29We were talking about ideas for November
00:03:31Yeah
00:03:32Come up with something that ties Belinda Apple's book and her November column
00:03:36Um, what book?
00:03:40For those among you who couldn't bother to get here on time
00:03:42Nola Devlin
00:03:43I'll repeat myself
00:03:45Stands in publishing, which owns Shine, and therefore me
00:03:48Wants to publish a book of Belinda Apple's columns
00:03:50Apple gets to the core, sort of a best-of, self-help book
00:03:53Uh, Belinda never mentioned a book to me
00:03:55You edit her column, you're not her best friend
00:03:58I will be writing the foreword to the book
00:04:00You?
00:04:01You have a problem with that?
00:04:03No
00:04:05I just thought since I edit her column, I
00:04:07And this matters to me because
00:04:09Precisely
00:04:11I'll need her next column ASAP
00:04:13And for God's sakes, clean yourself up
00:04:17You should totally be writing that intro, you know Belinda
00:04:20You know Belinda better than anyone and you're an amazing writer
00:04:23Oh, thanks
00:04:24No, it's okay, it's really exciting about the book
00:04:27Yeah, for Belinda
00:04:29Devlin!
00:04:32Lunch? Saturday? You, me, Deb?
00:04:34Can't wait
00:04:35I need everything you have on Belinda Apple
00:04:37Her life growing up in England, education, childhood photos
00:04:40Articles she wrote for GoFoundMagazine
00:04:41Well, I don't have any of that
00:04:44Idea
00:04:46Wait!
00:04:47Call her
00:04:49Right
00:04:50Or I could do a sort of rough draft of the foreword for you
00:04:54And then you
00:04:55I'm sure your knickers are in a knot about this
00:04:57But look at you
00:04:59No offense, but you're a sugar-encrusted nobody
00:05:03Do you really think Stanton wants you to write the foreword in a book by its biggest star?
00:05:08No
00:05:09No, no is right
00:05:11Now get me what I need
00:05:13Go
00:05:18Oh, hey
00:05:20Sorry to hear about your car
00:05:22Oh, that's okay
00:05:23But, um, Chip, the new computer guy, is working today
00:05:26And he lives near you, so he could give you a ride home if you want
00:05:29Chip? Like computer or chip?
00:05:32Anyway, um, should I get him to meet you in the parking lot at six?
00:05:36Sure
00:05:37Yes, thank you, that would be great
00:05:39Good
00:05:40Okay
00:05:45Oh, yeah, it's all limo rides for you, isn't it?
00:05:48Me, I get to take a ride home with the geek squad
00:05:52Yeah
00:05:54Yeah
00:06:01He's computer chip
00:06:06Hey
00:06:07Hi
00:06:08Um, you probably don't recognize me standing upright, but this really is my better side
00:06:16I'm Nola Devlin, you are computer chip, right?
00:06:19Is that a joke?
00:06:21Apparently, not a very good one
00:06:23Um, thank you for waiting for me
00:06:25Joy told me you live near me on the north end, so I really appreciate the ride
00:06:31You did offer to give me a ride, didn't you?
00:06:34Well, I'd be happy to give you a ride
00:06:36Okay
00:06:37You had a blended apples cone
00:06:39Yeah, yep
00:06:43So, uh, did you end up getting fired?
00:06:45No, not yet, but I am sure that that's in the works
00:06:49Bad day?
00:06:50Oh
00:06:53When I was in the sixth grade, a boy asked me to a Halloween party
00:06:57I went as a cheeseburger because that's the only costume that fit
00:07:00Well, when I got there, I found out that, uh, you were supposed to go dressed as what you wanted to be when you grew up
00:07:07Yeah, today was worse
00:07:09I don't want to talk about it
00:07:11Oh, and my car, the one that died?
00:07:13My dad bought me that car for my 16th birthday
00:07:16You know, I mean, that car took me to college
00:07:18I went to the Jersey Shore in that car
00:07:19That car took me to Boston to see Coldplay
00:07:22I made out with Ronnie Spillman in that car
00:07:25That car defines me
00:07:28Defined you, past tense
00:07:30Hey, look, you know, change is good
00:07:32Old car dies, new car could be better
00:07:34What about, uh, Porsche?
00:07:37That is my backup fantasy car
00:07:39Backup fantasy?
00:07:41Well, my fantasy fantasy car is a powder blue 55 Thunderbird
00:07:45I mean, if I had to break the bank, that would be my sledgehammer
00:07:49Now you're talking
00:07:50Yeah, now I'm hallucinating
00:07:53Can't afford that car on my salary
00:07:55Oh, hey, don't let work get in the way of your dream
00:07:57And I speak from experience
00:07:58I am all about the dream and so not about the job
00:08:02Girls like me don't drive cars like that
00:08:04Says who?
00:08:06My low self-esteem
00:08:08Oh
00:08:10Well, maybe it's time for you to grow up
00:08:13Take charge of your life and be all that you can be
00:08:18O-okay
00:08:20It's the advice my father gives me
00:08:23But hey, listen, if the whole dream thing doesn't work for you
00:08:25You can always do what he tells me and demand change
00:08:28Oh, uh, this one, right here
00:08:30Right there?
00:08:31Yeah
00:08:36Thank you for the ride
00:08:38Nice of you
00:08:40Um, can I offer you any money for gas?
00:08:43No, I'm cool
00:08:45All right
00:08:48It's probably none of my business
00:08:50But, um, I think your father's wrong
00:08:53I don't think you can demand change from people
00:08:55I think you have to inspire it, you know?
00:09:01Yeah
00:09:08All right, let's see what we got
00:09:11You ready?
00:09:17Dear Belinda
00:09:19This is my life, or non-life
00:09:22I am a plus-size woman in her thirties
00:09:25With a cat in a pastel-colored apartment
00:09:28Could I be any more of a stereotype?
00:09:32I'm underappreciated at work
00:09:34And the only physical contact I get is from my cat
00:09:37Am I hopeless? Can I get out of this rut?
00:09:40Or should I just buy another cat?
00:09:43Signed, Lifeless in Los Angeles
00:09:50All right, Belinda
00:09:52What do you got?
00:09:54Dear Lifeless
00:09:57Your cat must be tired of the pity party
00:10:00You've been throwing yourself every day
00:10:03Maybe if you didn't put yourself down so much
00:10:06It wouldn't be so pathetic
00:10:08You want a life? Get one
00:10:11Grant yourself a wish to change
00:10:14Then stop complaining and do something
00:10:23Yeah, I did something
00:10:27What?
00:10:31Hi, Laurie
00:10:34Laurie
00:10:38You know how you said Shine needs to distinguish itself
00:10:41By adding an advice columnist to address issues facing women today?
00:10:44I said I wanted a column to answer all the dimwits
00:10:46Who ask embarrassing questions about their sex lives
00:10:51Well, I answered your sample questions
00:10:54For the advice columnist
00:10:56In what I believe is a biting and edgy way
00:11:00Oh, you're serious
00:11:03I want to write
00:11:05So write
00:11:07Here
00:11:09Laurie, I want to write here
00:11:11Listen, I've been an assistant editor for over a year
00:11:14And before I came to Shine, I wrote articles for my college paper
00:11:17Good stuff, I can do this
00:11:19It's good to dream big
00:11:22Thank you
00:11:25Being a columnist is a very important, very public position
00:11:31It's the face of the magazine
00:11:34Right
00:11:36You're not a face
00:11:38You're just a big girl with a big dream
00:11:42Nice try, though
00:11:55She wants a face
00:11:58I'll give her a face
00:12:00Bing
00:12:25Phone rings
00:12:31Hi, Laurie
00:12:32What's wrong with Belinda?
00:12:34Uh, what do you mean?
00:12:36I can't get her on the phone to discuss her book
00:12:38If she doesn't call me back, I'm going to have to fly to London tomorrow
00:12:41Is that really necessary?
00:12:42This book is a huge deal
00:12:44It will launch a new division for the company
00:12:46They're dumping a load of money into promoting it
00:12:48Book tour, TV, Oprah
00:12:50Belinda will be everywhere
00:12:51In person?
00:12:52That's why they call them personal appearances
00:12:54I'm going to try to conference her in
00:12:56Hold on
00:12:57No, wait
00:13:01What's that?
00:13:02Nothing
00:13:03Hello
00:13:04Belinda
00:13:05Belinda, finally, hi
00:13:07It's Laurie and Nola
00:13:09Hello, Laurie
00:13:10Hello, Nola
00:13:11I'm actually just headed
00:13:12At two in the morning?
00:13:13Yes, in
00:13:14Just headed in
00:13:15Nola
00:13:16Yeah, hey
00:13:18Do you want to tell her about our promotional plans?
00:13:20Is this about the book?
00:13:23Yes, it is, actually
00:13:25Belinda, they want you to come out here
00:13:28Oh, well that's impossible
00:13:30I'm in London
00:13:31So it's a good thing we have planes
00:13:34Yes, isn't it?
00:13:35You know, I don't think I can make it
00:13:37You don't even know when it is
00:13:39Oh, when is it?
00:13:40End of October
00:13:41Definitely can't make it
00:13:42Yeah, she's going to Africa
00:13:44How do you know?
00:13:45Yes, Africa
00:13:47No, Nola, no
00:13:48I've been planning this trip for ages
00:13:50It's for a charity
00:13:52For children
00:13:53Did I mention this is launching
00:13:54A whole new book division?
00:13:56Goodness gracious me
00:13:57It's two o'clock in the morning here
00:13:58I've got to go to bed
00:13:59You two work it out
00:14:00I'll talk to you later, bye
00:14:04Nola
00:14:05Nola, Nola
00:14:06Are you still there?
00:14:07Yeah
00:14:08Hey
00:14:09Do you think I gave her rat's ass
00:14:10About her vacation plans?
00:14:11You better make sure she's here October 30th
00:14:14Or?
00:14:15Or you're fired
00:14:16You recommended her
00:14:17I don't care if she's boosted circulation 50%
00:14:19If she blows this for me
00:14:20I will destroy her
00:14:22And you
00:14:24Have a good night
00:14:27I'm screwed
00:14:30Um, could we get that table by the window?
00:14:32That's our favorite spot
00:14:33Oh, I'm very sorry
00:14:34But that table's reserved
00:14:36Oh, really?
00:14:37I didn't know that you could reserve tables
00:14:39Well, you can now
00:14:40We're under new management
00:14:41Oh
00:14:42Chester, is it?
00:14:44Well, this is Nola Devlin
00:14:45She edits Belinda Apple's column
00:14:46Which I'm sure everyone in America has read
00:14:50It's just that
00:14:51You know, the first Saturday of every month
00:14:53We sit at that table
00:14:54And this Saturday
00:14:55It's reserved
00:14:57Oh, God, here we go
00:14:59You wouldn't by any chance
00:15:00Not be giving us that table
00:15:01Because we're on the Zoptic side, would you?
00:15:04I don't know what you mean
00:15:05Because we're fat
00:15:07Would you like to order?
00:15:09Yes
00:15:11If you'd like the table by the window
00:15:12Ladies, if you're not happy with the service here
00:15:14There are a number of other restaurants in Princeton
00:15:18Zoptic?
00:15:19What are we, Russian peasant women?
00:15:21This is fat discrimination
00:15:23Sorry
00:15:31I wish I had a magic wand
00:15:32So I could instantly make a spin
00:15:34Like Cinderella
00:15:35Except instead of a ball gown
00:15:36We'd get hip bones and a waist
00:15:38Sorry, my magic wand's in the repair shop
00:15:40Maybe it's time for a fairy godmother
00:15:42Oh, don't do it
00:15:43Don't pull her out
00:15:44Belinda Apple represents the woman I would be
00:15:46If I could reclaim my power
00:15:49And get out of my own way
00:15:51We all need to do that
00:15:52If Belinda's so great at giving advice
00:15:54Then how come Nola works for her
00:15:55And she's still such a mess?
00:15:56Hey!
00:15:57Honey, you're a fantastic writer
00:15:59But you're editing someone else's work
00:16:01You're a wonderful woman
00:16:02But there are no men in your life
00:16:03And the pizza delivery guy?
00:16:05Not Prince Charming
00:16:06Come on, now listen
00:16:07Dear fabulous Belinda
00:16:08I'm tired of being overweight
00:16:10Blah, blah, blah
00:16:11I've died in my whole life
00:16:12And now I'm almost 250 pounds
00:16:14What should I do?
00:16:15250?
00:16:16Wow
00:16:17She should stop weighing herself
00:16:19Dear sexy underneath it all
00:16:21I will let you in
00:16:22On my deepest, darkest secret
00:16:25I used to be desperately overweight
00:16:28Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore
00:16:30I had to take control of my life
00:16:31Was it hard?
00:16:32Yes
00:16:33How did I do it?
00:16:34It was easy
00:16:35By reclaiming my power
00:16:36Getting out of my own way
00:16:37By finding a symbol
00:16:38To remind myself of the person
00:16:39I knew I was inside
00:16:41And by being honest with myself
00:16:45There's no way that woman was ever fat
00:16:49I say we follow Belinda's example
00:16:51And just do it
00:16:53No, I can't, you guys
00:16:54I have way too much on my plate right now
00:16:56You're just scared of change
00:16:58I like my life
00:16:59I have a good job
00:17:00A husband who loves me
00:17:01And a wife who loves me
00:17:02I like my life
00:17:03I have a good job
00:17:04A husband who loves me
00:17:05Ron and I have sex once a month
00:17:06Why should I change?
00:17:07But are you happy?
00:17:08I mean, completely, utterly
00:17:10Every moment happy
00:17:12I'm not
00:17:14I mean, Paul loves me
00:17:16But I don't love me
00:17:20Every spring, we take the kids
00:17:22To Paul's parents in Seattle
00:17:24Kids want to go someplace warm
00:17:25But we don't
00:17:26Because they know I would never
00:17:27Step foot on a beach in a bathing suit
00:17:31I just want to be with my family
00:17:33Doing normal family things
00:17:35Oh, come on, don't cry
00:17:37Hey
00:17:38Then let's do it
00:17:40Let's do what Belinda said
00:17:42And let's become the women
00:17:43We know we are inside
00:17:45You really believe in her, don't you?
00:17:47Don't you?
00:17:48Don't you want the person inside of you
00:17:50To finally emerge?
00:17:52That's a complicated question
00:17:53We've all been on diets
00:17:54But this time we do it together
00:17:56We're there for one another
00:17:57We're totally honest
00:17:59And no one's off the hook
00:18:00On one condition
00:18:02In four months, we go back to the Willoughby Cafe
00:18:04We get that table by the window
00:18:06And we shame Chester
00:18:08Until he is groveling at our feet
00:18:10Done
00:18:11One, we meet September 5th
00:18:14To humiliate Chester
00:18:16Um, supporting each other
00:18:18No matter where, no matter what
00:18:20We could work out together
00:18:21Every other day
00:18:22To start
00:18:23Work out and diet
00:18:26No secret stashes, Nola
00:18:28You know what I'm talking about
00:18:30And we need our symbols
00:18:32To remind us of who we want to be
00:18:33Mine is red
00:18:35When I was thin, I wore color
00:18:37Now I just
00:18:39Well, I wear Eileen Fisher versions of the Burka
00:18:41All right, Nancy wants bold, proud red
00:18:45And I
00:18:47Want to wear a bikini on the beach
00:18:50Nola?
00:18:52I don't know, can I think about it?
00:18:54All right, Nola's goal, TBD
00:18:57We have weekly weigh-ins with our weight loss pact
00:19:00Can we call it something else?
00:19:02Well, uh, since Belinda is our fairy godmother
00:19:06How about the Cinderella pact?
00:19:09A toast
00:19:11To change
00:19:15To friendship
00:19:17To the Cinderella pact
00:19:23Belinda will be so proud of us
00:19:25I hope so
00:19:27I really do
00:19:37I can't go in there
00:19:40Can't is not a part of our vocabulary, okay?
00:19:44Together, we have strength
00:19:47We give each other confidence
00:19:50Deb?
00:19:52Deb, let me listen
00:19:54Nobody said this was gonna be easy, right?
00:19:56We can, we should hire a personal trainer
00:19:58Work out on our own terms
00:20:00Great idea, what do you think of that?
00:20:02Okay
00:20:04Nola?
00:20:06Hey, you work out here too?
00:20:08No
00:20:10No, because we already worked out, actually
00:20:13It was really intense, we had a good one, right?
00:20:20This is my friend Nancy, and this is my friend Deb
00:20:24This is Chip, he gave me a ride when Pumpkin died
00:20:28Really?
00:20:32Oh, okay, well, um, I'm gonna go in
00:20:34It's nice to meet you guys, good to see you
00:20:36Yeah
00:20:39Oh my god, I am such a loser
00:20:41He's adorable
00:20:43No, Deb, don't get any ideas, he is too adorable for me
00:20:47Oh, come on, he would be lucky to have you, wouldn't he?
00:20:49Absolutely
00:20:51Cinderella pact
00:21:01Well, that was exhausting, I felt the burn
00:21:03Me too, I think I told something back there
00:21:05Oh, great first day, ladies
00:21:07Keep it going, don't push
00:21:09Come on, don't stretch, Deb, how you doing?
00:21:11Alright, push it, let's go
00:21:13Keep it tight, keep it tight
00:21:15Wait 45 seconds
00:21:17Come on, Deb, let's go
00:21:19Let's go, it's time for a show, Deb
00:21:25Oh my god, what an amazing ride
00:21:45Oh my god
00:22:09We're never winning
00:22:11Let's go, Deb
00:22:15Yeah
00:22:25That's it
00:22:27That's my goal
00:22:29Oh, Nola, it's
00:22:31Perfect, Cinderella would be proud
00:22:41Wow
00:22:46Hello
00:22:48Belinda, it's Charlotte, your agent, who you never call back
00:22:51Hi, Charlotte, how are you, darling?
00:22:53I'm sorry to call you so late, but we really do need to talk about this book
00:22:57I've been getting calls from a Laurie Degregio at Stanson, over 20 to be exact
00:23:02She really needs to schedule personal appearances and a promotional tour to launch this book
00:23:06It's part of your contract
00:23:08They really need some dates
00:23:10Do you know what?
00:23:12I will check my calendar and I will get back to you with many options, okay?
00:23:17No, no, Belinda, it would be really helpful if we could do this right now while I've got you on the phone
00:23:22Go, this is it, Charlotte, I have to call you back, it's a terrible line
00:23:25Bye, bad line
00:23:30Oh, no
00:23:42Mr. Tuckman, everything's under control, I just burned my dinner again
00:23:48Hi
00:23:49What happened?
00:23:50I'm sorry, I set off the smoke alarm again
00:23:53Happens all the time
00:23:55Don't worry about a thing
00:23:57There, what's up?
00:23:59I brought over something I want you to watch
00:24:03Okay
00:24:06Gastric bypass, miracle answer or helpful tool
00:24:12Once you get past the black stools and the possible death thing, it's actually pretty okay
00:24:19Deb, you can't be serious about having this surgery
00:24:26Mr. Tuckman, everything's under control, see? It stopped
00:24:30Don't hang up, it's Chip
00:24:33Chip, how did you get this number?
00:24:36Uh, company, the company directory
00:24:39Oh, oh, did I leave something in your truck?
00:24:43No, I was actually in your neighborhood and was wondering if you wanted to meet for a drink
00:24:47Meet for a drink, me, tonight?
00:24:49Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
00:24:51Could you hold on for a second, please?
00:24:53I want to talk to you about this surgery
00:24:56I'm not having it tomorrow, are you nuts?
00:24:59Is this a stomach surgery DVD or amazingly hunky guy?
00:25:02All right, I got this
00:25:05Yeah, I think I could probably make it
00:25:08Um, where are you?
00:25:10Browns, in a half hour
00:25:13Tell him you'll be there
00:25:15Half hour, I'll be there
00:25:17All right, bye
00:25:21Oh my god
00:25:22Oh, don't just stand there, let's get you dressed, come on, you're half an hour, what am I, Wonder Woman?
00:25:26Look at me
00:25:27But you got four hands, come on
00:25:29All right
00:25:37Nola
00:25:38Hi
00:25:40I kind of feel really overdressed
00:25:43Let's get you a drink, excuse me
00:25:46The lady will have
00:25:48A white, white spritzer
00:25:50Thank you, I'm right over here
00:25:53Well, it is a good thing I changed, I was going to wear the exact same outfit
00:25:59You look nice
00:26:00Thank you
00:26:01So did you buy a new car yet?
00:26:03I rented one, a Volvo
00:26:05Very safe choice, but safe's not all it's cracked up to be
00:26:08Sometimes you need to step outside your comfort zone and take risks to be successful
00:26:12Okay
00:26:16Another one-sided conversation I've been having with my father for years
00:26:20Thank you
00:26:24So what's his definition of success?
00:26:27Someone who's hardworking, responsible and focused
00:26:30So you're lazy, reckless and unfocused
00:26:34That's the old me
00:26:36Apparently I was avoiding success
00:26:38Well, it sounds to me like you might have been avoiding failure
00:26:41Not a bad life strategy, you know, you never try, you never fail
00:26:44Probably, it's a very astute observation
00:26:48Ah, yes, well, I'm very insightful and intuitive
00:26:51It's a gift and a curse
00:26:53Really?
00:26:54Yeah
00:26:56So what am I thinking right now?
00:27:00You're thinking that you don't want to tell me all your secrets because it'll make you seem vulnerable
00:27:09You're right
00:27:12Never talk about my personal life
00:27:15All right, I'm going to do something for you here, okay?
00:27:17I'm going to tell you one embarrassing thing about me
00:27:20So that we can be equally vulnerable
00:27:22That's unfair
00:27:26I'm a criminal
00:27:27I downloaded a movie illegally off the internet before it came out on DVD
00:27:32So you're on the run from the law
00:27:34Yes, you're aiding and abetting a criminal
00:27:39Damn
00:27:40What?
00:27:41A woman just walked out of the ladies room
00:27:43She's sort of an old girlfriend
00:27:45Things ended badly
00:27:48Ended badly like she went to yoga and never came back badly?
00:27:51Or she boiled her pet rabbit badly?
00:27:54Go with me on this
00:27:55What?
00:28:00Well, hello
00:28:02I thought you died
00:28:04Not dead, just traveling and busy with work
00:28:07This is my girlfriend, Nola
00:28:11Nola?
00:28:12Nola Devlin
00:28:14Hi, I'm his girlfriend
00:28:16You're beyond pathetic
00:28:18You stopped calling me because you're dating this fat lady?
00:28:22No, I stopped calling you because we broke up six months ago
00:28:26We're over
00:28:27We're not over
00:28:28Until she sings
00:28:30No matter what
00:28:31Hey
00:28:38Classy Ange, thanks
00:28:40Are you okay?
00:28:42Nola, wait up
00:28:43No, no, no
00:28:44I'm so sorry
00:28:45Angie is a total psycho
00:28:48Please, can I at least walk you home?
00:28:49No, obviously I can take care of myself
00:28:52What if I just walk six steps behind you?
00:28:54And if I get mugged, you can step in and save me
00:28:58I'm an idiot, okay?
00:28:59I got caught off guard
00:29:00I had no idea that she would be there
00:29:02I never should have used you like that
00:29:03I'm sorry
00:29:04You know you should be sorry
00:29:06Don't you get it?
00:29:07Girls like me are easy targets for girls like that, you know?
00:29:12You should never have put me in that position
00:29:15It was humiliating for me
00:29:17And believe me, my life is humiliating enough
00:29:20And you have every right to be angry, but I would never want to humiliate you
00:29:23One thing, one thing
00:29:24Why did you call me tonight?
00:29:27To meet for a drink
00:29:28No, no
00:29:29You could have called a hundred girls just like that
00:29:32Why did you call me?
00:29:34I don't know
00:29:35I don't know
00:29:38I feel comfortable with you
00:29:39I thought we could be friends
00:29:41Wow, you have a really interesting way of making new friends, you know?
00:29:45I screwed up
00:29:47Come on, you've never done something stupid you regret?
00:29:50Never
00:29:53Do I really need to remind you of the cheeseburger costume debacle?
00:29:59I'm really, truly sorry about tonight
00:30:01No, it's okay
00:30:02Friends?
00:30:03Sure, friends, yeah
00:30:06Good
00:30:07Hey, so what are your Saturdays like?
00:30:09Oh, well, Saturdays I, uh, I train with Oscar De La Hoya
00:30:13Why?
00:30:15Well, I wanted a chance to thank you for protecting me against Angie
00:30:19I'm working on a new project in LA for six weeks
00:30:23June 13th, pick you up at noon?
00:30:26June the 5th, 13th
00:30:27Sure
00:30:28Sure, yeah, noon, okay
00:30:30Great, alright
00:30:31Six weeks?
00:30:32Six weeks
00:30:35Bye
00:30:36Bye
00:30:44Who am I kidding?
00:30:45Hot, sexy guy does not want ordinary, zofting me
00:30:52He wants someone like you
00:30:56Hey girls, check this out
00:30:58These jeans are see-through
00:30:59Check this out
00:31:00These jeans that you've seen me wearing today
00:31:02Found them in the back of my closet
00:31:03Last time I wore them I was 18
00:31:05I tried them on and they fit!
00:31:09When's your date with Jeff?
00:31:10We're, we're friends, it's not a date
00:31:12Oh, but it could be
00:31:13Yeah, he's way out of my league
00:31:15Uh, why?
00:31:16Because you're smart and you're funny and
00:31:19Hello, you gonna help me out here?
00:31:21The lap band is an inflatable device placed around the stomach creating a small pouch
00:31:25They don't remove any of the digestive system
00:31:27And it's easy to reverse
00:31:29This is way better for me than gastric
00:31:32Oh, thank you
00:31:34Than the gastric bypass surgery
00:31:36Yeah, well, at least you're not gonna re-root your intestines
00:31:39Oh, however, the procedure is not without risks
00:31:43One in 2,500 patients die
00:31:45I already have high blood pressure
00:31:48I'm at risk for diabetes and heart disease
00:31:52It's been almost a month since we started the pact
00:31:57And you and Noah have lost weight
00:32:01I gained
00:32:05I want this
00:32:06Oh, I need this
00:32:08Of course you do
00:32:09And we're your best friends
00:32:11We're here for you no matter what
00:32:15Good
00:32:17Cause I already have it scheduled
00:32:20And you guys better be there
00:32:22I got your message. What's going on?
00:32:24Mr. Stanson called
00:32:25He wants to launch the book in September
00:32:27September? What happened to late October?
00:32:29They want the book out before fall
00:32:31And it gets better
00:32:32Shine is hosting a launch party for Belinda September 5th
00:32:35And she's not even returning my emails
00:32:37I talked to the editor at GoFab magazine and she never even works there
00:32:40This could be like Jason Blair and the New York Times all over again
00:32:43You're overreacting. I doubt that...
00:32:45What the hell is going on? It's like she doesn't even exist
00:32:47She exists
00:32:48You've talked to her on the television
00:32:49She's very shy and the book tour...
00:32:51I mean, she hates doing personal appearances
00:32:53I don't care
00:32:55Belinda's contract specifically includes promotional tie-ins
00:32:58If she doesn't understand that
00:33:00Then she'll have plenty of time to re-read the contract she's violated
00:33:03In a little retreat called the Beacon Correctional Facility
00:33:06Now find her
00:33:08Go
00:33:10I'm thinking of using...
00:33:12Don't do it
00:33:13Whatever happened, it'll be okay eventually
00:33:15I'm not so sure about that
00:33:17What's wrong?
00:33:19Can I ask you a legal hypothetical?
00:33:22Uh-huh
00:33:23Alright, let's say there's a person, a singer
00:33:25What kind of singer?
00:33:26I don't know, a country singer
00:33:28I like country
00:33:29Oh, okay, good
00:33:30So, let's say there's a person, a singer
00:33:32What kind of singer?
00:33:33I don't know, a country singer
00:33:35I like country
00:33:36Oh, okay, good
00:33:37Oh, okay, good
00:33:38So, let's say this country singer, she's supposed to do a concert
00:33:41But she doesn't show up
00:33:42I'm assuming the concert people would probably sue her, but...
00:33:45What if she doesn't have any money?
00:33:47Does she go to jail?
00:33:48What, like debtor's prison?
00:33:50Yeah
00:33:51Yeah, if Dickens were still alive
00:33:53These days they'd figure out something else
00:33:55She'd do another concert, for free
00:33:57Whoa, what's going on?
00:33:59Nothing, I just, um...
00:34:02I'm doing research for Belinda
00:34:05Right, no wonder you're eating
00:34:07What is that supposed to mean?
00:34:08Uh, you do all the work, she takes the credit
00:34:10Not true
00:34:11Oh, come on, you've always been the one to take the broken cookie
00:34:14Because you don't think you deserve the good one
00:34:16It's like you...
00:34:17Well, you stand in the shadows while other people shine
00:34:20I get it
00:34:21It's easier to sabotage yourself, stuffing your face
00:34:24Than it is to just put yourself out there and risk failure
00:34:30Well, you know, broken or whole, a cookie never rejects you
00:34:35When you're ready, you'll stand up, you'll take center stage
00:34:39But until then, you need to find comfort without food
00:34:43Dear desperate in Duluth
00:34:45Do not give up on yourself
00:34:48You are worth a million times more than that cheating husband of yours
00:34:52Your life isn't over because he's gone
00:34:58It is just beginning because you are free
00:35:02Free from the lying, the deceit, the pain
00:35:07You, my friend, can be anything you want now
00:35:15On my honor, I will try to do my best
00:35:20To love my country and God
00:35:23My country and God
00:35:24And obey all the rules set out in my handbook
00:35:28I always feel better after I pray
00:35:31That was the brownie promise
00:35:33It's still sacred and I have the badges to prove it
00:35:36I think the Valium is working
00:35:39And he can even get you soon
00:35:41Thanks for being here, guys
00:35:44It means a lot
00:35:46Where else would we be?
00:35:48Paul should be here
00:35:51You know what?
00:35:53You're changing, you know?
00:35:55And some people are afraid of change
00:35:59What does Paul think?
00:36:01I'll lose a few pounds
00:36:03And George Clooney will want to take me and the kids to Italy to ride Vespas
00:36:09Seriously, no, right?
00:36:12Listen, you can't let Paul dictate what you want
00:36:16You have to stand up for yourself
00:36:20I am so going to do that
00:36:23Once my stomach has been reduced to the size of a dill pickle
00:36:34I can't believe Paul's not here
00:36:36Honestly, I mean, he's just, he's, he's clueless
00:36:39I'm sorry a lot of men
00:36:41Ron's a man, he's not
00:36:43Yeah, but Ron's different
00:36:45You're different, you stand up for yourself
00:36:48Not always
00:36:50Yeah, right
00:36:53Okay, I'm going to admit something here
00:36:56I think that Belinda Apple may be right
00:37:02I kind of feel like our Cinderella pact is working
00:37:06You know that I wasn't always like this
00:37:08I mean, I used to have a waist and
00:37:11Then I started working at Stanson and
00:37:14There wasn't a day that Ted Fiennes wouldn't
00:37:17Stare at my chest or
00:37:19Accidentally grab my ass
00:37:23I was like the ultimate doormat
00:37:25You never told me that
00:37:26That's embarrassing
00:37:28Here I am representing employees against sexual harassment while I'm taking it myself
00:37:33So you put on weight
00:37:35Well, the bigger I got, less Ted hassled me
00:37:42You know, I've lost 21 pounds and I should be happy
00:37:47But what if I keep losing weight and
00:37:50The harassment starts again
00:37:52It won't
00:37:54You won't let it
00:38:06Hey
00:38:07Hey sweetie, we're here
00:38:10Am I thinner?
00:38:12Definitely
00:38:17Excellent
00:38:27I snagged this from the fashion closet upstairs
00:38:30Pretty nice, it'll look great with your eyes
00:38:32It's not for me, it's for your date with Chip
00:38:36Again, not a date, a friend thing
00:38:39Whatever, you can still look nice
00:38:41Your clothes are swimming on you now
00:38:42But your boobs, they still look great
00:38:44And this tent look, it's getting old
00:38:46My boobs look great?
00:38:47Totally
00:38:48Chip will be very impressed, you know, in a friendly way
00:39:03Hi
00:39:04Hey, you ready? I have a surprise
00:39:05Okay
00:39:07Hurry
00:39:10What?
00:39:11You look different
00:39:13What?
00:39:14Good different or bad different?
00:39:16Definitely, definitely good different
00:39:19Okay
00:39:20Yeah, come on, come on
00:39:24Right over here
00:39:33Oh my God
00:39:34Yeah, well, I do a lot of work for the dealership
00:39:36So they said we could take it for a test ride
00:39:38Wow
00:39:43You brought this for me to drive?
00:39:45Yeah, I wanted to apologize
00:39:47Again
00:39:48You could have bought me a house plant
00:39:50Hey, come on, let's take this baby for a ride
00:39:51I can't
00:39:53Why not?
00:39:55She's so beautiful, I
00:39:58I can't drive this car
00:40:02Well, there is some element of risk in living your dreams
00:40:14Hold on
00:40:19You're no longer Volvo safe
00:40:21You are sports car fearless
00:40:26Thank you
00:40:29Yes!
00:40:30There is something just so wrong about ketchup and a hot dog
00:40:33Okay
00:40:34You sure you don't want anything?
00:40:35No, I'm good
00:40:36It's, I
00:40:37I'm kind of doing this Cinderella pact with my friend
00:40:40We're trying to eat healthy and lose a little weight
00:40:43Well, you look great
00:40:44Oh, thank you
00:40:46Okay, that makes it official
00:40:47This is the most fun I've ever had without trans fats being involved
00:40:50Fast cars, compliments, what could be better?
00:40:53Yeah, you can't beat fast cars for fun
00:40:55Yeah
00:40:56I've definitely had my fill of my danger-seeking irresponsible youth
00:40:59Oh
00:41:02What?
00:41:03No, nothing
00:41:05All right, it's just
00:41:06You had a relationship with a Porsche dealership, right?
00:41:09You had a lot of fast cars
00:41:11And not that it's not a wonderful profession
00:41:14But I didn't realize you could make so much money fixing people's computers
00:41:18My family has money, not me
00:41:22You know, and I've been slacking for a few years, but I'm trying to change
00:41:25Oh, yeah? How's that working out for you?
00:41:27You know, one step forward, two steps back
00:41:29Yeah
00:41:31Croquet
00:41:33Do you play?
00:41:34Oh, no, not anymore
00:41:35That was part of my danger-seeking irresponsible youth
00:41:40I don't just play, I, um
00:41:43I dominate
00:41:44Yep
00:41:45Really?
00:41:47Hmm
00:41:48Well, guess we're gonna have to see about that
00:42:10It's the last point of the match
00:42:12And Nola appears to be crumbling under the pressure
00:42:15Stop stalling
00:42:17Losing to a girl would be humiliating for the cool guy
00:42:20She should remember that he found her her backup fantasy car
00:42:25True
00:42:26He should know that if she lets him win, it's only because she took pity on him
00:42:30What is that?
00:42:31What?
00:42:32No!
00:42:33He wins!
00:42:34Yes, I did
00:42:35You cheated!
00:42:36No, I did not
00:42:37He cheated
00:42:38No, I did not
00:42:39Cheat
00:42:41Thank you, guys
00:42:42Thanks, guys
00:42:45That was fun
00:42:46Yeah
00:42:49So
00:42:50So
00:42:51What's it like working for Belinda Apple?
00:42:55Uh
00:42:57Exciting
00:42:58Frustrating
00:43:00Sometimes I feel like she's taking over my life
00:43:05Sounds demanding
00:43:06More like all-consuming
00:43:11You ever feel like you're living in Belinda's shadow?
00:43:15You know, like no one would ever take you seriously if she weren't the namepad of yours
00:43:21Yeah
00:43:23All the time
00:43:26How'd you know?
00:43:28You have Belinda
00:43:29I have my father
00:43:31We're both treading water at the same end of the pool
00:43:34Except I don't know how to swim
00:43:37Yeah, I've found people will generally tell you who they are the first three minutes you know them
00:43:41You just have to listen
00:43:43Well, I don't think Angie told me she was a complete nutjob when we first met
00:43:47Sometimes you have to close your eyes and listen between the lines
00:43:52Um, here
00:43:54Thank you
00:43:55Thanks
00:43:56So, uh, thank you for a wonderful, wonderful day
00:43:59No, thank you
00:44:00Hey, so listen, I'm going out of town again for work
00:44:03But maybe when I get back we can get together
00:44:06Dinner?
00:44:07Oh, God, no need
00:44:08You know, you're totally forgiven for Angie's behavior
00:44:11You're off the hook
00:44:12Well, this next date will have nothing to do with Angie
00:44:15Date?
00:44:16August 31st
00:44:17Oh, well, you really like to plan in advance, don't you?
00:44:20What are you doing Thanksgiving two years from now?
00:44:24All right, well
00:44:26Hey, you bowl?
00:44:27No
00:44:28Good
00:44:29Let's go bowling
00:44:30That way I can reclaim my manhood
00:44:32You in?
00:44:34Sure
00:44:36All right
00:44:46Now corporate has decided they want Belinda to write the intro to the book
00:44:49Call her in Botswana or wherever the hell she is
00:44:52I need it next week
00:44:54I don't think Belinda wants to be part of the book's publication
00:45:00Excuse me?
00:45:01No, it's just she's only been writing for the magazine seven months
00:45:03Maybe she thinks it's too early
00:45:07The publishing world is in serious trouble
00:45:10Magazines are folding every day
00:45:12Shine was on life support before Belinda started her column
00:45:15Ad revs her up and Mr. Stanson likes her
00:45:18If she doesn't show up to support the book at the launch party, he will be furious
00:45:22He could kill the magazine
00:45:24You got it?
00:45:26Go
00:45:34Hi, you're obviously the food lady
00:45:36Can I leave these with you?
00:45:37Why am I obviously the food lady?
00:45:39Is it because I'm not a size two?
00:45:42All right, let me tell you something, Sherlock
00:45:44Real women, they don't look like the women you see on TV or magazine covers, okay?
00:45:49So go ahead
00:45:50You tell me, why must I obviously be the food lady?
00:45:54Because your desk says you are
00:46:01Right
00:46:03Sorry
00:46:07All right, I'm going to head home a little early
00:46:10Not everybody, I gotta
00:46:12Yeah, because you know the last red crazy town leaves and I got shotgun
00:46:16Aha
00:46:20Oh my God
00:46:21What?
00:46:22This size 18 is too big, way too big
00:46:26Oh, okay, great
00:46:28Here, I'm going to bring you some other sizes, maybe these will fit
00:46:32Thanks
00:46:33Okay
00:46:34Why can't Paul be excited about this?
00:46:36The more weight I lose, the angrier he gets
00:46:39I begged him to go to counseling, but he refused
00:46:42That's not right, Deb
00:46:43What do you think Belinda would tell me to do?
00:46:46Well, I think she'd say that you deserve to be loved unconditionally
00:46:48And if you're not, you should consider your options
00:46:55I know, right?
00:46:57It's a 14
00:46:59You know the last time I was a size 14? High school
00:47:03Deb, you're so thin
00:47:05Oh, I'm not that thin
00:47:07Oh, I've lost 37 pounds
00:47:0937 pounds, my God, I'm just, I'm so proud of you
00:47:14Couldn't have done it without you and Nancy and Belinda
00:47:17The Cinderella pack rocks
00:47:20Now we need to find you something fantastic to wear on your date
00:47:23No, no, no, I'm good, I've got something in the back of my closet, I can pull it out
00:47:25Okay, your brain needs to catch up with your body
00:47:28Yeah, you need some clothes that actually fit you
00:47:30All right, we are not back of closet girls anymore
00:47:35You need a new dress
00:47:37Here, try
00:47:40Go
00:47:42You know what?
00:47:43Do it for me, go
00:47:46I don't want to hear it, I want to see it
00:47:49Dear stuck in a rut
00:47:51A date is nothing to freak out over
00:47:56Wear something that says I am confident and prepared for anything
00:48:01Come on
00:48:08Makeup should enhance, not camouflage your own unique qualities
00:48:13And most importantly, be yourself
00:48:15You don't want to be with anyone who doesn't see the real you
00:48:31Hey
00:48:33Hi
00:48:34Come on in
00:48:36Hey, you look great
00:48:38I mean, you know, not that, you know, you didn't look great before
00:48:42But you were more, more
00:48:47Is that really a graceful way out of this?
00:48:50This is charter territory, come on
00:48:52Can I offer you something to drink?
00:48:54I have a diet, root beer diet, cola diet, iced tea, wine
00:48:58I'll take the wine
00:48:59But only if it's diet
00:49:01Make yourself at home
00:49:07So, how long since I've seen you anyway?
00:49:15So that was either totally inappropriate and awkward or
00:49:19Or it was really spontaneous and nice
00:49:22I mean, it was nice for me
00:49:23It was nice, wasn't it?
00:49:26And not at all awkward
00:49:27No, not at all
00:49:28Not like this conversation
00:49:29Right
00:49:30Drink?
00:49:31Oh, yeah, I'd love one
00:49:32Great
00:49:36I can't seem to
00:49:37May I?
00:49:38Ah, yes, please
00:49:40Thank you
00:49:42Excuse me
00:49:43Oh, yeah
00:49:44Okay
00:49:47I'll be, I'll be right back
00:49:49Ella Devlin, girl gone wild
00:49:51Okay, don't freak out
00:49:53Nance?
00:49:54What's wrong?
00:49:55I'm working and my computer crashed
00:49:56Oh, well, Nancy
00:49:57I know, that's a real bummer and I'm sorry, but I gotta...
00:49:59Look, they sent Chip over to fix it
00:50:01He's standing in front of me right now
00:50:02And believe me, he is so not the hot guy from the gym
00:50:07No, Chip is standing in my living room right now
00:50:09He just kissed me
00:50:11Whoever kissed you isn't Chip the computer guy
00:50:17Well, then who the hell is standing in my living room?
00:50:22Who are you?
00:50:24I know you're not Chip
00:50:25Oh, God, listen
00:50:26No, no, no, are you even in tech support?
00:50:28No
00:50:29Oh, God, please tell me you're not a serial killer
00:50:31I'm not a serial killer
00:50:33Look, you can put down the candlestick
00:50:35Who are you?
00:50:39Alex Stanson
00:50:42As in Stanson Publishing, Alex Stanson?
00:50:46That would be my father, Alex Sr.
00:50:50Oh
00:50:51Well
00:50:55So
00:50:57Why did you let me think you were computer Chip?
00:51:04Look, that day that you got in my truck thinking I was Chip
00:51:07I had just come from a meeting with my father
00:51:11And my relationship with him is
00:51:15strained at best
00:51:18And you totally turned that day around for me
00:51:22You were unguarded, gutsy, funny
00:51:26You were interested in me
00:51:28I didn't want to ruin it by telling you who I was
00:51:31I tell people who I am and they just start acting differently
00:51:35Plus, I'm kind of in this new phase of my life
00:51:38Your fat girl phase?
00:51:41My trying to be a better person phase
00:51:43I have one last shot to prove my worth in the family business
00:51:49You see, I quit five years ago
00:51:51And now that I've come back
00:51:53My father's put me in charge of a new book division
00:51:58My idea
00:52:00Our first book
00:52:01Is a collection of Belinda Apples' columns
00:52:05I am so achingly aware of that
00:52:08And this has just become a nightmare
00:52:14Oh
00:52:16You knew I edited her columns
00:52:20Yeah
00:52:23Please go
00:52:24Look, Nola
00:52:25You used me
00:52:26That is not true
00:52:28Yes, okay, in the beginning
00:52:30Yeah, maybe I saw an opportunity to learn more about Belinda
00:52:33But then that changed
00:52:35And I wanted to learn more about you
00:52:40Belinda works for you
00:52:41I work for you
00:52:42Emily, this doesn't work, okay?
00:52:44It doesn't work
00:52:45You have to
00:52:46Please don't say anything else
00:52:47Just
00:52:49Just go
00:53:01Oh
00:53:04Thanks, Brett, I got it
00:53:05Okay
00:53:10Alex Stanson, Jr.
00:53:11The only heir to the Stanson Empire
00:53:13Which includes magazines, newspapers
00:53:17Extensive real estate
00:53:18Holdings has turned being a trust fund playboy into an art
00:53:23He goes through women like other men go through socks
00:53:26Devlin
00:53:29Yeah
00:53:30Do you know what this is?
00:53:31Um
00:53:32Belinda Apples' contract for her book
00:53:35You know what should be right there?
00:53:36Her signature
00:53:37The book launch party is in less than a week
00:53:39Legal is going crazy
00:53:41I sent someone from our London office to the address Belinda gave us
00:53:44But all she found was a post office box with some fan mail addressed to Belinda
00:53:48I need proof of life
00:53:49What, like Belinda Severity Iraq in today's newspaper?
00:53:54No
00:53:55Like a personal appearance on September 5th
00:53:58If she doesn't show, that will be my proof
00:54:01I will go talk to Legal after lunch, okay?
00:54:05Okay
00:54:13Hey
00:54:14Nancy
00:54:15Are we still meeting at the track after work?
00:54:17I...
00:54:18I really need to talk
00:54:22Nan
00:54:23Oh, thank God
00:54:25I get that you didn't want to talk about it last night
00:54:27And I'm glad that you're still alive
00:54:28But who the hell is the guy in your apartment?
00:54:30All right
00:54:31Turns out that the most perfect guy I've ever met
00:54:33Is watching Belinda Apple's new book
00:54:35Alex Stanson Jr.
00:54:38Your chip is Alex Stanson?
00:54:39No way
00:54:40Yes, yes, yes, yes way
00:54:43Oh God
00:54:44There's more
00:54:47I really liked him
00:54:48A lot
00:54:49And the awful part is I think he really liked me
00:54:52Why are you talking about this in the past tense?
00:54:54Because there can be no future tense
00:54:55There can't be any tense
00:54:57Listen, I...
00:55:00I need to tell you something, okay?
00:55:03What?
00:55:06I'm Belinda Apple
00:55:10What?
00:55:11That's impossible
00:55:13You know, nine months ago, Laurie wanted an advice columnist
00:55:15She wouldn't give me a shot because I didn't look the part
00:55:17All right, well, I came up with a plan and...
00:55:21I created Belinda Apple
00:55:24That's not a plan, that's insanity
00:55:26Yeah
00:55:28Who's the woman on the billboards?
00:55:30Me
00:55:31With a little Photoshop
00:55:34Does anyone else know about this?
00:55:36No
00:55:37It wasn't supposed to go this far
00:55:39I mean, she wasn't supposed to become famous
00:55:41You know, I just...
00:55:43I was going to write as Belinda for a little while
00:55:45To prove that I could do it
00:55:46And then I was going to go into Laurie's office
00:55:48And tell her that she shouldn't judge people on their jean size
00:55:51She should be judging them on their qualifications
00:55:53Yeah, I really wish that you had
00:55:55I mean, you deserve that job fat or thin
00:55:57You just, you need to believe that you deserve it
00:55:59Yeah
00:56:01Listen, I'm...
00:56:05I'm so sorry
00:56:07I didn't tell you sooner
00:56:10Look, putting aside the fact that
00:56:12One of my best friends couldn't...
00:56:15Wouldn't
00:56:17Tell me about something this important
00:56:18Putting that aside
00:56:20Do you have any idea what kind of a professional crapstorm
00:56:22You've just rained down on me?
00:56:24I'm so sorry
00:56:25Look, if I don't say something and this comes out
00:56:28I could be fired for knowing about it and doing nothing
00:56:32So what are you going to do?
00:56:35Nothing
00:56:37I know you
00:56:38I love you
00:56:39And you will do the right thing
00:56:42Yeah
00:56:44Well, you know one good thing's come out of all of this
00:56:46What?
00:56:47The Cinderella pact
00:56:49You look amazing
00:56:51Yeah, I've lost another five pounds
00:56:53Oh God, Nancy, how am I going to get out of this in one piece?
00:56:56Laurie's coming apart at the seams
00:56:57I mean, she's got this contract she wants Belinda to sign
00:57:00You know, she's crazy
00:57:01And I can't keep stalling her for very much longer
00:57:04Come on, we're going to figure this out
00:57:06Yeah
00:57:08Damn
00:57:09Where...
00:57:11Hey, Deb
00:57:14Hey
00:57:16Deb, where are you?
00:57:17Anything's got you too happy
00:57:19Hey, guys
00:57:21This is Josh
00:57:22Josh, these are the friends I was telling you about
00:57:25You want a drink?
00:57:27No
00:57:28No, I think we're good
00:57:29I thought you weren't supposed to drink after your surgery
00:57:31Were you her mother?
00:57:34No, Josh, her best friend
00:57:40Do you mind telling us what you think you're doing?
00:57:42I was just having some fun
00:57:44Is that a crime?
00:57:45Okay, fun is a pedicure
00:57:47Fun is a great day at the beach
00:57:49A fast car is fun
00:57:50Not knocking back Manhattans with some random businessman
00:57:54You're married
00:57:55I know, I've been settling my whole life
00:57:57I don't want to settle anymore
00:58:00You know, it's terrifying
00:58:02But for the first time ever, I feel like I have choices
00:58:06Isn't that why I went through the surgery?
00:58:09Do you know what I did today?
00:58:11I went to an assembly at my son's school
00:58:13I was so happy being there
00:58:15Just a mom sitting in the audience
00:58:17Not some fat woman everyone was staring at
00:58:20Paul never showed
00:58:23You know why I married him?
00:58:26Because I was scared no one else would have me
00:58:29You know what's worse? He knew that
00:58:31He doesn't love me, he just wants to control me
00:58:34Are you going to leave him?
00:58:38I don't know
00:58:40What would Belinda say?
00:58:43Yeah, what would Belinda say?
00:58:47I think she'd tell you that you deserve better than trolling in bars for attention from strange men
00:58:53You are better
00:58:55And you know what? You should create the life you deserve
00:59:00That's exactly what she'd say
00:59:02Yeah, no joke
00:59:05Tell her
00:59:07What?
00:59:11She is
00:59:14She is Belinda
00:59:18That's impossible
00:59:22You're Belinda?
00:59:26I'm Belinda
00:59:30But how?
00:59:33It's really complicated
00:59:35I mean, well I started by submitting my columns electronically to Lori
00:59:38You mean all the advice I got from Belinda?
00:59:42The advice that I changed my life for? The Cinderella pact, that was all a lie?
00:59:47No, no, I believed every word
00:59:50It just seemed like you would listen to it more when it came from someone like Belinda
00:59:55I just want what's best for you
00:59:57To regain my power and be the person I am inside
01:00:00Yes, yes, yes
01:00:02That was part of the pact and we were supposed to be honest
01:00:05We would always be honest with one another
01:00:09And you were lying from the start
01:00:12You never believed any of this could be real
01:00:14That's not true
01:00:15I hoped it would be
01:00:17I did
01:00:21Losing weight has given me the confidence to stand up for myself and be honest about my feelings
01:00:27You have no idea how much you hurt me
01:00:34Oh, I don't want to deal with this right now
01:00:37I can't
01:00:40I'll go
01:00:46Nola, hi, sorry about leaving a message, again
01:00:50Since I haven't heard from you, you are either
01:00:52A. On a road trip with Otis and too busy to check your messages
01:00:56Or B. In the finals of an international croquet tournament and I don't know where you have messages
01:01:00Or C. Avoiding me and hoping I stop calling
01:01:03I vote for A or B because C makes me sad
01:01:19Yes, hello, is Charlotte there?
01:01:22This is her client Belinda Apple
01:01:25Could you let her know that I need her to call me as soon as possible, please?
01:01:30Thank you
01:01:33Say I'm yours, say you're mine
01:01:56Charlotte
01:01:58Yes
01:02:00I'm Nola Devlin, Belinda Apple's editor
01:02:02Where is she?
01:02:03Actually, you're looking right at her
01:02:05I'm Belinda Apple
01:02:07Of course you are, darling, there's a little bit of Belinda in all of us
01:02:10No, Charlotte, I'm your client
01:02:13I'm Belinda Apple
01:02:16But you're so, so not British or stylish
01:02:21No offense
01:02:24I thought you'd be younger
01:02:26But then, maturity is just experience wrapped in wrinkles, isn't it?
01:02:31My God, you really are Belinda
01:02:34Correction, I've been pretending to be her and I've hurt the people I love the most
01:02:39My whole life is a monumental train wreck
01:02:41I'm probably going to get fired, go to jail and never work as a journalist again
01:02:44And I was just wondering if you could help me
01:02:47Oh Lord, let's get you a drink
01:02:50Well, you have got yourself into quite the quandary
01:02:54I know, and I can't fake it anymore, I can't
01:02:57You can fake a lot of things, but you cannot fake talent
01:03:00Whether you call yourself Belinda or Nina
01:03:02Nola
01:03:03Whatever, you are a writer, believe in that
01:03:05Women love your column
01:03:08I have the fan mail to prove it
01:03:10Fan mail is not going to keep me out of jail
01:03:14Okay then, okay then, you do have some options
01:03:18One, do nothing, let the chips fall where they may
01:03:22Two, write a letter of resignation
01:03:25Quit before the whole thing blows apart
01:03:28But your legal problems won't go away
01:03:30Or, three, show up, tell the truth and watch the whole thing implode in person
01:03:37It's perfect
01:03:38Well, not the imploding part of course, but
01:03:41Why shouldn't you go to that party?
01:03:43Um, here's a clue
01:03:45I'm not Belinda Apple
01:03:47Not yet, but with a little work
01:03:51I think you could bring her to life
01:03:53You're crazy
01:03:54Yeah, crazy is sometimes the basis of genius
01:03:59Go as Belinda
01:04:02You keep your secret, I keep my commission, it's a win-win situation
01:04:07Nobody is ever going to believe that I'm Belinda Apple
01:04:11Think about it
01:04:13Bye
01:04:22Nola?
01:04:23Yeah
01:04:24Jim
01:04:25Alex
01:04:26Whoever you are
01:04:27What are you doing here?
01:04:28What are you doing here?
01:04:30Um, I was supposed to meet Belinda Apple's literary agent
01:04:33But I just got a message saying she had to cancel
01:04:39Have you eaten dinner?
01:04:40I haven't eaten lunch and, um, this is dinner
01:04:44Wow, uh, looks like your Cinderella diet is a little extreme
01:04:48Cinderella packed
01:04:49Right
01:04:50And you have no idea how extreme
01:04:52Kind of messes with your head, you know
01:04:55I don't
01:04:56But I know you need some food, real food
01:04:59And since it looks like you lost even more weight, I think you could afford to eat something
01:05:03Thank you
01:05:06Sorry, I lied
01:05:07Okay, listen, you lie, I lie, everybody lies
01:05:10We all tell little lies, and big lies, and middle of the road lies
01:05:14We're not to be trusted
01:05:16Cheaters never cross, right? Or is it liars? Gosh, I can never remember
01:05:22Go home
01:05:24Alex does
01:05:25I don't want to go home
01:05:29Look, you're a nice guy
01:05:31You're a really, really nice guy
01:05:33You're too nice for me
01:05:35That's not true
01:05:38You don't know the real Nola Devlin
01:05:40The inner workings, the heart and soul
01:05:44Here's what I do know
01:05:46Nola Devlin is funny, smart, pretty
01:05:53See?
01:05:55Too nice
01:05:57I like who I am with you
01:06:01I'm not who you think I am
01:06:03I'm not who you think I am
01:06:05I mean, I am, I am
01:06:06But I'm not
01:06:08Don't we all feel that way?
01:06:10Listen, I'm serious
01:06:11There is no...
01:06:18Very nice
01:06:22Can I say that out loud?
01:06:24No
01:06:25No
01:06:32Oh, sorry
01:06:43I'm not like other girls you've been with, so I just wanted to...
01:06:47Oh, God
01:06:51No, it's just that, you see, my body is...
01:06:54Beautiful
01:06:56You have a beautiful body
01:07:09Let's never leave here, ever
01:07:13Oh, good, let me guess
01:07:15Taiwan for six weeks
01:07:17Six weeks
01:07:19No, actually, L.A. for a shareholders meeting
01:07:22And then back here on Friday for the book launch
01:07:26Alex, about the book launch
01:07:30What if Belinda doesn't show?
01:07:32I mean, she can be really unreliable
01:07:38Well, if she doesn't show, she'll...
01:07:41She'll be letting down a lot of people
01:07:44I'm sure it would be disappointing for you, since you're as much a part of the book as Belinda is
01:07:49Look, I...
01:07:51I think I'm falling in love with you
01:08:09Chip? Alex?
01:08:13Hey
01:08:14Hi
01:08:15Morning
01:08:16Oh
01:08:19Oh, I have to catch my flight, go back to sleep
01:08:23I'll see you at the book launch
01:08:26Get some rest
01:08:27Okay
01:08:34Hi
01:08:38Wait
01:08:39There is no Belinda Apple and I'm a big fat liar
01:09:10Hey, Nala
01:09:12What you doing?
01:09:13The...
01:09:15Hey, Joy, have you seen Lori?
01:09:16She's getting her dress fitted for the party
01:09:18Oh, but hey, if you see her, can you tell her that Belinda's agent sent over a ton of fan mail from her office last night?
01:09:26Fan mail?
01:09:27Well, it is in the mail room
01:09:31Thanks, Joy
01:09:40Thank you
01:09:47Dear Belinda, you saved my life
01:09:50I was 216...
01:09:51Dear Belinda, thank you, thank you, thank you
01:09:54You gave me the courage to stand up for myself
01:09:57Belinda, you were my guardian angel
01:09:59You inspired me to follow my dreams and now...
01:10:01Dear Miss Apple, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here writing this letter
01:10:05You see, because of your call...
01:10:10I'm sorry
01:10:14Hey, Nance
01:10:15Hey, you ready for tomorrow?
01:10:16What's tomorrow?
01:10:17Oh, it's endgame, the day we go back to the Willoughby Cafe and witness some serious groveling
01:10:22Right, right, God
01:10:26You know, my...
01:10:29My dress is gone
01:10:31Your gold dress
01:10:35Have you heard from Deb?
01:10:37No
01:10:40Alex Danson said he loves me
01:10:44Nancy, I...
01:10:46I don't know what to do
01:10:49I have this invitation here for Nola
01:10:52To Belinda Apple's book launch
01:10:55This is a letter from a woman in Duluth
01:10:59Telling Belinda that she saved her life
01:11:03Alex wants me, Nola, to go to the book launch with him
01:11:06This woman needs Belinda to show up
01:11:10I can't be both people at the same time
01:11:13Rewind
01:11:15He said he loves you?
01:11:16Yeah
01:11:17Wow
01:11:18And it's killing me
01:11:22I just...
01:11:24I should have listened
01:11:25You were right, you know
01:11:26Why did I make all this stuff up?
01:11:28I should have just believed in myself enough to tell Laurie the truth from the beginning
01:11:31It's disgusting
01:11:33Well, a little simplistic maybe, but...
01:11:37For years, I have been hiding myself under a homemade fat suit so you wouldn't treat me like a sex object
01:11:42And then I started shrinking my body and building my self-esteem
01:11:46I even started to think, maybe, maybe Ted's not so bad
01:11:49Maybe I was just imagining things
01:11:51But there is no way that I imagined your hand on her ass
01:11:56A kid so fresh out of law school that she still has the bar tapes memorized
01:12:01You're fired
01:12:04I don't think so
01:12:06When I put together the sexual harassment suit I have planned, you'll be the one holding the pink slip
01:12:18It feels good to sit in the hall, so much better
01:12:26This doesn't feel right without Deb
01:12:28She'll come around, she's got a lot going on right now
01:12:32Ladies, table for two
01:12:35Remember us
01:12:38Oh, I'm so sorry
01:12:40We were here four months ago, you wouldn't seat us at the table by the window
01:12:45I'm sorry, I don't remember
01:12:46We were a little bit larger then
01:12:50Yeah, we were fat
01:12:52You said it was reserved
01:12:54You were paranoid about people walking by thinking this is a restaurant where fat, pathetic women eat
01:12:59So you got all that from me telling you that that table was reserved and I'm the one who's paranoid
01:13:07We'll take the table by the window
01:13:09I'm sorry, it's occupied
01:13:19You mean, we've been holding a grudge for four months for nothing?
01:13:22Oh, but don't we look fabulous?
01:13:24I mean, the Cinderella pattern is perfect
01:13:26Yeah, then why are you still wearing black? Where's your red?
01:13:28Oh, Deb, Deb, Deb
01:13:30It's about discovering the women we are inside
01:13:35Let me tell you, Ron is loving the woman I am on the inside
01:13:39Well, girls, I'm afraid my bikini dream is over
01:13:41It was a tad too ambitious for me
01:13:43No, but I'm looking forward to dealing with reality in a tankini
01:13:47You guys, I'm so happy
01:13:51The Cinderella pack worked for both of you
01:13:53But I don't think it worked for me
01:13:55See, I have no idea who I am or what I'm supposed to do here
01:14:00You know, like the book launch is tomorrow night
01:14:02And if I don't go, I'm going to betray all of those women who poured their hearts out to me
01:14:06And I don't want to hurt them the way you were hurt when you found out Belinda Apple didn't exist
01:14:12And Alex, I'm in love with him and he's going to hate me
01:14:17He's going to hate me
01:14:18I should have told him, I should be telling him right now
01:14:20He's going to hate me
01:14:21He's going to hate me
01:14:22I should have told him
01:14:23I should be telling him right now
01:14:24And I don't know how to
01:14:26Belinda has to go to that party
01:14:28Belinda doesn't
01:14:29Yes
01:14:32It's your wisdom, your wit, your insight
01:14:35You're the one everyone's listening to
01:14:37You're the one who gave me the courage to start a new life
01:14:41As hard as it is, I have to leave Paul
01:14:43But it's okay
01:14:45It's good, even
01:14:47Do you think that I could have stood up to Ted without you or Belinda?
01:14:50She's been there all along
01:14:52You've just been looking on the outside when you should have been looking in
01:14:56Yeah, so no more broken cookies
01:14:59No more standing in the shadows
01:15:01It's time you took center stage
01:15:05Nola
01:15:06Before we get started
01:15:08It wasn't gone
01:15:10We bought it for you a couple of days ago
01:15:14Somehow we knew that you'd need it
01:15:17And these
01:15:20And this
01:15:21Your fantasy car
01:15:47And people
01:15:48Look left, look left, look right
01:15:51That's right
01:15:52If you look in my eyes
01:15:54You're going down tonight
01:15:56Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:00Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:02You're making me feel
01:16:04Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:07Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:09You're making me feel
01:16:18Ladies and gentlemen
01:16:20Allow me to step in
01:16:22And set a precedent
01:16:24You look for people
01:16:26Top of the world tonight
01:16:28You see my name in lights
01:16:30I'm fashion classy tight
01:16:32You are a stranger
01:16:33Look left, look left, look right
01:16:36So fine
01:16:37Can't no one else in here
01:16:39Compete with me tonight
01:16:41Look left, look left, look right
01:16:43That's right
01:16:44If you look in my eyes
01:16:46You're going down tonight
01:16:48Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:51Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:53You are Cinderella
01:16:55Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:16:57Here it is
01:16:59Sex, sex, sex, sex
01:17:00Oh my goodness, I'm so nervous you guys
01:17:05Okay, Melinda
01:17:06Let's cover you up a little
01:17:08Oh, that's perfect
01:17:10Beautiful
01:17:12I'm ready
01:17:13Okay, here we go
01:17:14Oh
01:17:16Yes
01:17:22Melinda, Melinda
01:17:30She's really looking forward to meeting you
01:17:32Is she ready?
01:17:37Great, I will do that, thank you
01:17:39Alex, right? Hi
01:17:41I'm Dem
01:17:42Yeah, we met in front of NOLA's
01:17:43Right, right, right
01:17:44The gym
01:17:45The gym, yeah
01:17:46Ladies and gentlemen
01:17:48Tonight we are here to introduce to you
01:17:50Stanson Publishing's new book
01:17:52Apple Gets to the Core
01:17:54A compilation of columns by Shine Magazine's
01:17:57renowned advice columnist
01:17:59Belinda Apple
01:18:01It is now my great honor to introduce to you
01:18:04Belinda Apple
01:18:16It's so nice to finally meet you
01:18:20Oh my God
01:18:28Belinda, thank you
01:18:29All for the very warm welcome
01:18:35I'm so happy that Stanson Books is
01:18:39publishing my book
01:18:42My book
01:18:46It is my book
01:18:51I can't do this
01:18:54I thought I could, but I
01:18:58I can't
01:19:03A year ago
01:19:06I was an overweight copy editor
01:19:09who couldn't get a break
01:19:13There were people who told me
01:19:16that I was just a big girl with a big dream
01:19:19and um
01:19:21somehow I let myself believe that
01:19:25So I created
01:19:28Belinda Apple
01:19:29Someone I thought I could never be
01:19:31Pretty, beautiful
01:19:34Confident, thin
01:19:38Someone with all the answers
01:19:40I used Belinda to protect myself
01:19:43from rejection and failure
01:19:46I'm so sorry that I lied
01:19:51To
01:19:52all of the women who have been so honest with me
01:19:55with Belinda
01:19:59I have to be honest with you
01:20:04There is no Belinda Apple
01:20:06There's just me
01:20:09No other template
01:20:12But here's the thing
01:20:13Inside
01:20:16Me and Belinda, we're the same person
01:20:18It just took me till tonight to figure it out
01:20:22To all the beautiful women that brought me here tonight
01:20:26Just know that you're your own fairy godmothers
01:20:30So
01:20:31keep dreaming your dreams and
01:20:34creating your magic
01:20:37and writing your own happy endings
01:20:42That's all
01:20:56Great party!
01:20:58Oh, they loved you
01:20:59They love Nola Devlin as much as they love Belinda Apple
01:21:02Yeah
01:21:03Have you guys seen Alex?
01:21:05Sorry, honey
01:21:06Do you know, I thought for sure he was gonna forgive you
01:21:10Maybe he'll change his mind
01:21:13Maybe
01:21:14All right, I think I'm gonna head home
01:21:18You guys have fun
01:21:19Well, you know
01:21:20what happens to Cinderella at midnight
01:21:30No!
01:21:32Wait!
01:21:35Wait, please!
01:21:36Wait!
01:21:39Wait!
01:21:41Wait, stop, sir!
01:21:42Please, stop!
01:21:49That was just perfect
01:21:52You lose something?
01:21:58Yeah
01:22:00Yeah
01:22:01My shoe
01:22:06May I?
01:22:12So how come midnight?
01:22:18Midnight?
01:22:21Isn't that some kind of defining moment for Cinderella?
01:22:26Well, it's the moment where she
01:22:29turns back into her true self and
01:22:32hopes that Prince Charming will see through the disguise
01:22:34and forgive her and
01:22:35But just
01:22:36one last question for Belinda
01:22:39Yeah?
01:22:41Well, there's this girl
01:22:42Ah
01:22:43Well, see, there's always a girl
01:22:47What's the problem?
01:22:49A few days ago I poured my heart out to her
01:22:51and told her I thought I was falling in love with her
01:22:55You've changed your mind?
01:22:56No
01:22:58I've told her how I feel
01:23:01But she hasn't told me how she feels
01:23:06Oh, well, that's not a problem
01:23:09Because I happen to know she loves you right back
01:23:31Everything's gonna be so bright
01:23:33Life is but a melody
01:23:35Heaven knows, heaven knows
01:23:37You wait so long
01:23:39Soon you'll be singing your song
01:23:46Alright
01:23:47Everything's gonna be so bright
01:23:49Life is but a melody
01:23:51Heaven knows, heaven knows
01:23:53You wait so long
01:23:55Soon you'll be singing your song
01:24:02Don't be afraid
01:24:04Just jump right in
01:24:08Sometimes you lose
01:24:09Sometimes you win
01:24:13You make your mistakes
01:24:14And that's what it takes
01:24:16For you to find your way
01:24:18And trust in yourself
01:24:20Nobody else knows what you want to say
01:24:23Alright
01:24:24Everything's gonna be so bright
01:24:27Life is but a melody
01:24:29Heaven knows, heaven knows
01:24:31You wait so long
01:24:33Soon you'll be singing your song