Celebs Go Dating S13E10 (2024)
Celebs Go Dating S13E10 (2024)
celebs go dating new series
celebs go dating line up
celebs go dating dailymotion
celebs go dating apply
celebs go dating outfits
celebs go dating 2024 cast
celebs go dating series 13
celeb go dating cast
celebs go dating new series
celebs go dating line up
celebs go dating dailymotion
celebs go dating apply
celebs go dating outfits
celebs go dating 2024 cast
celebs go dating series 13
celeb go dating cast
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TVTranscript
00:00Tonight, skip breakfast, cancel lunch, the brunch is back with a host of brand new hotties.
00:10Respect.
00:11We want you to do some fast flirting.
00:14Oh, no.
00:16Do a little step in here.
00:18We'll finish it there.
00:19Love.
00:20Give me a kiss.
00:21You had salmon spam, but where?
00:22All over your face.
00:23How was your last bit?
00:24It was good.
00:25He got buzzed.
00:26And Helen loves in a flank grenade.
00:30My feelings have just got stronger, and things have just got more intense.
00:35You lied to us.
00:41Right.
00:43As our celebs go speed dating.
00:51Say what?
00:55We're halfway through the series, and it's been a while since our celebs last lost their
01:02dignity at the infamous brunch.
01:04So what's the best way to get over a bad brunch?
01:07Oh?
01:08That's right.
01:09Get under another one.
01:10But this time, we're adding a twist.
01:12You're devoid of bush.
01:14They'll be speed dating.
01:16Oh, my God.
01:19So while Tom tries to get his shit together, ooh, we're only missing one thing.
01:25Hello, old chum.
01:26And no, it's not Tom's ding-dong.
01:30It's the celebs.
01:32And leading the charge are these two bone-brunching babes, Jamelia and Ella.
01:42Hey, darling.
01:44Oh, my.
01:46Aren't you to an assault on the retinas?
01:49Hello, my darling.
01:50Oh, I say.
01:52Well, I feel horribly underdressed.
01:54No, you look gorgeous.
01:55We need to catch up.
01:56The mean Jamelia actually haven't seen each other since the last brunch.
02:00Yeah.
02:01Where I was a wreck.
02:03At last week's brunch, Ella was confronted about goings-on after her date with Rhys.
02:09We did overhear that perhaps other things went on.
02:13Yeah, like stuff sexually has happened.
02:17Can I just have five minutes, please?
02:20This is so embarrassing.
02:22I felt ashamed, and everyone was making a point of being like,
02:25you shouldn't be ashamed, though.
02:26Sex is empowering.
02:27And I was thinking, you know, now I'm just going to be completely honest.
02:30If someone, I don't know, licks my boob or whatever,
02:33I will just be open and honest about it.
02:35OK, if we're being open, I lick my own boobs.
02:37After last week, I'm so nervous about today's brunch.
02:41But on the plus side, there is someone I can't wait to see.
02:45Adam Wood yet?
02:46I can't stop thinking about Rhys.
02:48Oh, yeah, Rhys.
02:49I know. Yeah, I do like him.
02:51So, I want to know, how many dates, who are they, how did it go?
02:56Kissing, have you done anything?
02:58Well, you asked, Ella, so here's the stats so far.
03:01Our jammies been on four dates.
03:04One with a wizard.
03:05Not me. Not Hermione.
03:08You.
03:09One with a guy who preferred chocolate to chatting.
03:11Yeah, I'll just...
03:13She snogged none of them.
03:15See you later.
03:16See you.
03:17But did win one game of rock, paper, scissors.
03:24I've had some dates.
03:25I just haven't, like, felt the spark with them.
03:27None of the dates that you've been on
03:29since I've seen you've actually connected with?
03:32No, I haven't liked any of them in that way.
03:35Don't cry, Tom, we haven't even started yet.
03:37I just want to feel like a girl
03:39and none of them have been man enough to do that.
03:42It's always kind of, yeah, a bit wishy-washy.
03:45Speaking of wishy-washy...
03:48..here's Wishy.
03:49I'll be honest, I've been asleep last night.
03:51There's a general impending sense of doom around these brunches
03:54now after the last one.
03:56And here's Washy.
03:58Is that Tristan's bicep flexing all on its own?
04:01Oh, I feel weak.
04:03I've had some time to think over the last few days.
04:05I do like Georgia.
04:06I feel like, you know, we've obviously got a bit of a connection there.
04:10Sexual chemistry's on point.
04:12I feel like maybe something's missing to take it to that next level.
04:15I just don't know if I see myself with her long-term
04:17and I think that's what I am looking for.
04:19Is Tristan right-handed?
04:20That muscle's probably got PTSD from over-exertion.
04:25Hoping to brunch their way into a relationship,
04:28it's toots-top-totty Tristan and anti-comedy crumpet magnate Chris.
04:32Hello. Oh, hello.
04:34Wow. Wow.
04:35You both look stunning.
04:37How are you, darling? I love this dress.
04:39You look stunning. Thank you so much.
04:41Bloody Mary. Mimosa. Mimosa.
04:43Oh, I'll save them for later.
04:45This is very sweet. There you go, sir. Oh, my God.
04:47How are the dates going, mate?
04:49They're going. I'm on date three with Georgia now.
04:52What? Third date. Really? Yeah.
04:54That must be going well, then. We went to Lawn Bowls.
04:56I lifted my shirt up and she was, like, doing tequila shots off me.
04:59Why are you doing softcore porn and I can't even get past the first date?
05:02The answer to that, Chris, is that Tristan has got some smooth moves.
05:06You ready?
05:07I'm going to do it like anyone watches. Ready?
05:10This is...
05:13I feel like it's Christmas and my birthday.
05:16What's your update?
05:17So I've been on two more dates, they're both called Daisy.
05:20Daisy won. I took a leaf out of your book.
05:22I thought flowers were a bit done,
05:24so I got a watermelon and stuck some googly eyes on it.
05:27That would be my next option, yeah.
05:29The only logical, reasonable... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:31Oh, I got you a present, by the way. No, you didn't. Yeah.
05:34It's a watermelon with googly eyes on it.
05:38Oh, fuck. Have you actually bought that?
05:40Yeah, I made that myself.
05:43And then the second Daisy, I got a build-your-own-bird feeder,
05:46which I thought you'd love as well.
05:48The dates themselves, though, I just don't know, mate.
05:51The chat's fun, but I'm not finding that element there.
05:55For me, stage one, that's my most important thing.
05:58But that's clearly on your litmus test,
06:00and if you're not getting that, then it means you're not compatible.
06:04The agents are telling me as well that I need to go deeper or whatever.
06:07Personally, I'm not very comfortable with going deep
06:10with people that I've literally just met,
06:12but I'm actually a very deep guy, surprisingly.
06:14I'm an iceberg. Yep, an absolute belt.
06:18But the party can't start without our final two.
06:21It's the man with the flan, goggled-eyed Stephen and Helen Blondenden.
06:28Oh!
06:30Oh, I see!
06:33How are we doing?
06:35Ah, the gang's back together.
06:37So, how's the date going?
06:39I'm pleased to report I have had a successful date.
06:43Oh, you have? Yes.
06:45Tell us something about it, go on.
06:47So, his name was Safe, and I think he got me, we had a giggle.
06:50Did you kiss? We had a peck.
06:52Oh, OK. On the lips? On the lips, yeah.
06:55OK, that's cute. We've had a really nice date.
06:57I have too. I had a lot of fun.
06:59See you soon.
07:02So, I feel like I'm on the up. OK.
07:04Things are looking better. Amazing.
07:06What about you? What about me?
07:08So, yeah, I went on a date with a guy called Danny.
07:11Really loved the guy, dead sweet, northern.
07:14I just didn't feel it. No.
07:16I just didn't... No, I need, like, a spark,
07:18I need, like, a romantic connection or, you know,
07:20some sexual chemistry, and we didn't have it, so...
07:23I think you either have it or you don't. Yeah.
07:25It's like that magic ingredient, isn't it?
07:27Give them a chance here, cos I said this about Rhys in the beginning,
07:30I don't want to see him again, and now, look,
07:32I've given him a chance and he's given me multiple chances, so...
07:36Yeah, no, it's good to give people a chance, yeah, it is.
07:39Tell that to all the fellas you've pied off.
07:41Oh, I see!
07:43But stop the press.
07:45We've got agents incoming.
07:47Look at you go, look at you go.
07:49Garamilla! Look at you all.
07:51Oh, wait, you know, there's a lot of chest happening.
07:54I knew Paul was a boob man.
07:57There is chest across the board!
08:00And there's one person without their chest out.
08:05Look it out, Paul.
08:06Let me officially welcome you to the Celebrity Agency Lunch.
08:11CHEERING
08:14We want you today to do some fast flirting.
08:19Oh, no!
08:22Oh, my gosh!
08:24At least it's fast.
08:25Fast flirting is essentially speed dating.
08:28Just call it that, then.
08:29You'll be meeting four fabulous singles.
08:33Put your best foot forward, make a good impression, get your flirt on.
08:37We're at the halfway point,
08:39and most of our celebrities aren't even close to finding a match.
08:43So this is a great way to test their flirting skills
08:46and get loads of faces in front of them quickly.
08:49It requires you to be quick, to make quick decisions.
08:53This is about showing your authentic self.
08:55Have fun doing this.
08:57The agents have asked me to dial back the smutty comments on my dates.
09:01How the hell am I going to do that fast flirting?
09:04It's like ordering a full English and not ordering the sausage.
09:07And I love a sausage. We know.
09:09You will also have a buzz off buzzer.
09:12So if you're not feeling your date, if it's tanking, you want to move on,
09:16you want to cut it short, then you can buzz.
09:19But here's the thing, so can the datees.
09:22If they are feeling you, they can also buzz out.
09:25I'm getting buzzed today.
09:27This place is going to sound like a Love Honey stock room in an earthquake.
09:31So then, on that note, you all can take your seats.
09:36Good luck.
09:37With our celebrities already feeling the pressure of this task,
09:40us agents, we're going to leave them to it and let Tom run the show.
09:45I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
09:47That's what Rishi said when he called an early election.
09:50Babe, I will own this more than any of you, so...
09:53Oh, yeah, I'm expecting big things now.
09:55I'm the only one who's got a shag so far. None of you have, so...
09:59Are you going to stand up and hug them?
10:01I'm going to stand up. Are you here? Are you going to hug?
10:04I'm actually really excited about this.
10:06Now, I know on my dates I'm not the best at flirting,
10:10but maybe today's the day?
10:12That's the spirit, Jammie.
10:14But if your date does take a nosedive into the boring end of the pool,
10:17you've all got some flashcards with some questions to help you out.
10:21Celebrities, as soon as my clapper hits my bell,
10:25our fast flirting event will commence.
10:32Well, now that Flirtageddon is in full swing...
10:37..let's meet the poor bastards who've got to impress the girls.
10:41CHEERING
10:44Aaron, Nathan and Sam.
10:46Oh, do I get on? I don't know.
10:48Oh, hello. Hi. Hello.
10:51Lovely to meet you.
10:53Hi, I'm Anna. Nice to meet you.
10:56Hi, Nathan, I'm Ellie. You probably know who I am anyway.
10:59But if you don't, then I'm an icon.
11:01I don't really. You don't know who I am?
11:03Come on, Nathan, she's up there with Marilyn Monroe.
11:06OK, we'll skip over that, then. That's fine.
11:08Oh, hi, darling. Nice to meet you.
11:10My name's Sam. Sam. Sam, I'm Halle.
11:13Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
11:15Jesus, that's a great start. Shall we have a go?
11:17Straight into it, yeah? What do you like the most about yourself?
11:21My tanned skin. You've got beautiful skin.
11:24Tanned all year round. Yeah. Are you, like, mixed-race?
11:27No, my mum's half Irish.
11:29Famous for their Mediterranean golden glow, the Irish.
11:32I was really hoping the celebrities would try and conjure their own chat
11:36before reaching for the help cards, but Helen's gone straight for them.
11:40I'm not sure her heart's in this.
11:42Do you want to ask me a question? Shall I get one from there?
11:45Do you have your own? Erm...
11:48Sorry, I'm sweating a little bit. It's fine, it's fine.
11:51I have that effect on people, I'm sorry. I'm joking, I'm joking.
11:54You're a stoner, Liv. I'm completely blown away.
11:57Oh, please.
11:59Well, Aaron's getting clammy over jammy. Great start.
12:02What do you do for work? And then that's it for the boring questions.
12:05Oh, OK, so, Monday to Friday, I'm a project manager.
12:08Oh, you're going to tell me you're a butler in the buff or something?
12:11I am literally a butler in the buff. No! OK.
12:13Mostly at hem parties, but sometimes corporate events.
12:15OK, stand up, lift your top up. I can't lift the cameras up.
12:18I've got... Oh, OK, right.
12:21Do you want to see my tits? No, I'm joking, I'm joking.
12:24Yeah, a bit of a life lesson for you, Nathan.
12:26If a woman ever asks that question, just say yes.
12:31I suppose, like, what's your name again? So, my name's Sam.
12:34Who would be your dream dinner party guest?
12:37Ooh...
12:39I like a comedian person, so mine's probably a load of blokes.
12:42Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart?
12:44Yeah, he's part of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:46Edmund, is it three you've got to choose?
12:50Er, Mr R Beckett, ever heard of him?
12:52You know what, I think you're really lovely,
12:54but I don't think this is going anywhere, is it?
12:57Oh, God, poor bastard.
12:59LAUGHTER
13:02Comments, lovely guy, but no spark.
13:05Savage, right in front of his face.
13:08So, it's fast flirting, but there is no flirting coming from Sam,
13:11so time's up and it's on to the next.
13:16I heard a buzzer.
13:18I pressed the buzzer. OK.
13:20I just don't feel like we had the chemistry.
13:23Right, it's relatively early on, that would be my only caveat.
13:27LAUGHTER
13:29Oh, God, make it stop, Tom.
13:31Sam, you're going to come with me. Lovely. All right.
13:34I don't want to be too judgemental,
13:37but Helen did seem rather harsh with him and awfully quick to buzz.
13:41If I were to put on my judge's wig,
13:43I'd say she didn't really give him a chance.
13:46Yep, the only spark on that date came from her hand slamming that buzzer.
13:51Coming up...
13:53The girls come for the boys.
13:55This is literally my wedding ring, by the way.
13:57When people just talk absolute rubbish, it is my favourite thing.
14:00I'm a professional golfer, so... How do I ring the winning bell?
14:03And the boys go for a girl.
14:05Do you know what's going to happen as well?
14:07We're going to pick the same person. Yeah, of course.
14:09But this time, we'll have a cock-off. Let's go.
14:21Welcome back to Celebs Go Speed Dating,
14:24where Tom standing around clutching his little bell can only mean one thing.
14:28We're balls deep in fast flirting.
14:30It was lovely to meet you, Sam. Nice to meet you anyway. Thank you.
14:33Where Helen Buzzigan has already claimed her first victim.
14:36Are you nervous? Very. Why? Cos I'm scared of girls.
14:39Justin's scared of girls.
14:41I just can't. I can't press the buzzer. I can't bring myself to do it.
14:44You're too polite. I can't do it, yeah. Such a gentleman.
14:46Is that too...? Yeah, fuck it.
14:48If it's to avoid a romance, darling, I would urge a buzzer pressing.
14:51Yeah? Are you all right? How are you feeling?
14:54Squeaky bum. Going like that.
14:56Rub its nose.
14:58While the girls have already met their speed dates,
15:00let's get some sexy bums on seats for the boys.
15:07Let's hope Hannah, Lizzino and Immaculate can turn up the heat.
15:13Oh, hello. Hello.
15:15I don't know who's coming to me. Are you coming to me? Yes, I am.
15:17Hi. Hello. Lovely to meet you.
15:19Lovely to meet you. I'm a kisser. Oh, OK.
15:21Two? Two?
15:23Ooh! Hi, there. Hi, are you all right?
15:25You all right? Nice to meet you. How are you?
15:27I'm Lizzino. Steve, what's your name? Lizzino.
15:30How are you feeling? I like your feet. You like my feet?
15:33Yeah, outfit. You noticed that first thing, straight in on the thing?
15:35I'm a designer. Oh, really?
15:37Just, like, styling and all of that.
15:39Oh, OK. So I'm doing all right.
15:41You know how to combine colours. Thank you.
15:43Normally, the first thing I see is the fit outfit.
15:46That's the first thing I always look on people, the way they dress.
15:50The first thing you look at on a person is the feet.
15:52The outfit, yes.
15:53Yeah, I think we've got some cross wires here.
15:55She said outfit, not feet, Chris.
15:57Oh, the fit. Feet as outfit.
16:00Oh! As how they dress.
16:01There's an accent issue going on here,
16:03because I thought you were talking about my feet.
16:05So this whole time, you thought, I like your feet?
16:07Yes. Wow.
16:09I was fully thinking, does she want to lick them?
16:14Clearly not. But now I know that.
16:16So we won't talk about feet anymore.
16:18I'd stop talking in general if I were you.
16:20At the back of the room,
16:21let's see if Steve-O's goggle-eyed for the leather-clad Lucino.
16:25How old are you? 26.
16:2726. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:28How old were you? 52.
16:3052?! Yeah.
16:31I mean, you look good for 52. Oh, yeah?
16:33Cheers.
16:34God, Lucino, come on, he's gorgeous, but 26?
16:38I'm old enough to be his dad.
16:39Has it stopped you before?
16:41If we're on a date, cosy little date at home,
16:43you're in control of the remote control.
16:45Yeah. What are we watching?
16:47Ooh. I'll tell you.
16:49Porn or the proms?
16:52Proms, I'd say.
16:53Boring.
16:54What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
16:57I'd probably run around naked.
16:59Have you been to a nudie beach?
17:00No, never. Have you?
17:02Yeah. It's nice to get the wind between your legs, isn't it?
17:05I think if I went to a nudie beach,
17:06I'd get quite a lot of attention.
17:08Oh, really? Yeah.
17:10Right, OK.
17:13I like it.
17:14Ten.
17:15So, Stephen sizes up Lucino.
17:17Let's see if Trissie Phipps has got the measure of his date Hannah.
17:21What do you like to do for fun?
17:22I don't want to ask what you do for work, cos that's boring.
17:24Well, my work, I like my work.
17:26OK, that's good. I'm a professional golfer, so...
17:28That is fucking exceptional. That's what I do for fun, yeah.
17:30Are you actually? Great.
17:31How do I, like, ring the winning bell? That's great.
17:33Oh, hello, here we go.
17:35Do you reckon you could bring my game to scratch?
17:37I'm not just going to date you for your golf lessons as well,
17:39by the way, I just want to caveat with that.
17:41I'm not going to use you if you use me.
17:42I do like keeping professional and personal separate.
17:44Do you have a date?
17:45I would date somebody that I coach, but you'd have to pay for the lesson.
17:48Interesting. Depends how you want to pay.
17:50Say no more. OK.
17:52Does she mean direct debit or full sex?
17:54It's very confusing, isn't it?
17:56This is going exceptionally well.
17:58Hannah seems like a fantastic match.
18:00She's fit, she's flirty, she's a golf pro,
18:02so three lessons in there.
18:03I'm just hoping that Chris keeps his hands off.
18:05I haven't asked to see a swing, but...
18:07Do you want to teach me how to swing a club?
18:09I feel like I want to see you. Yeah, go on.
18:11Right, do you want to stand behind me?
18:13I've got to look at you. I've got to see what you do first.
18:15So, how would I dress the ball? You just copy me.
18:17Well, you dress the ball like... She's a professional golfer.
18:19You stick to your dirt. OK.
18:23Time for your next fast flirt.
18:25It was lovely to meet you. You were very interesting.
18:29Two. Oh, shit, I forgot.
18:31It was nice speaking to you. Yeah, and you.
18:33See you later. I'll see you.
18:35Do you like anyone? No.
18:37I don't think I'm ever going to like anyone.
18:39She's a fussy woman.
18:41Rich coming from you, Buzzy McBuzzface.
18:43Hello. Hello. Oh, my God, you've got your shoulder drops.
18:45How are you? Hello, I'm Angelica. How do you do?
18:47What's your name? Angelica. Angelica, yes.
18:49Angelica, it's a lovely name. How do you do? Tristan.
18:51Very well. How are you? I'm OK. How are you?
18:53Yeah, not bad. Not bad. Hello, Ella.
18:55Oh, hi. Oh, you're Scottish.
18:57No, I'm a Geordie. You're Geordie?
18:59Oh, I'm a bit hard of hearing. Similar.
19:01Very similar. Right. Not really, but carry on, Ella.
19:03And how old are you?
19:05I'm 29. You're 29.
19:07Way over. Way over.
19:09I love Cheryl Carl.
19:11Oh, yeah, but she's no Jill Halfpenny.
19:13Next to face buskill Flanagan is this tighty-shirt lump, Danny.
19:15Good luck, mate.
19:17Where are you from? Preston.
19:19Oh, you're from Preston. I'm from Bolton.
19:21Oh, yeah? Yeah. How was your last day?
19:23Was it good? He got buzzed.
19:25Oh, did he? Oh, God, don't buzz me.
19:27He got buzzed. I'm nervous.
19:29Oh, bless you. So far, so good.
19:31Oh, my God, what is this?
19:33I bought you a present.
19:35So, when I was 16,
19:37I was watching a Southern documentary,
19:39and there was a clip where I say,
19:41at 8 o'clock in the morning, I'll have fish and a rice cake,
19:43and then I'll have some more fish and a rice cake,
19:45and then I come across really thick on it,
19:47and it went viral.
19:49You're that guy!
19:51I'm not. I'm the fisherman.
19:53For the lucky sods that missed it,
19:55here he is doing a recreation.
19:578 o'clock in the morning, I'll have fish and a rice cake.
19:59At 10 o'clock, I'll have fish.
20:01At 12 o'clock,
20:03I'll have fish and a rice cake.
20:05I'll have fish and a rice cake.
20:07Oh, wow, that fish and a rice cake meme was so funny,
20:09but I don't want to go out with a meme,
20:11so I'm afraid it's a no for Danny.
20:13Well, it was lovely speaking to you.
20:17Oh, God, Helen strikes a flan again.
20:19Get this, lad, a rice cake and a cab.
20:21Over at the bar, the jammy sandwich
20:23is with Helen's last victim, Sam.
20:25I'm her funeral director.
20:27Oh, wow.
20:29Yeah, so I pick up dead people, really.
20:31You see dead people?
20:33So, do you, like, do you interact with the bodies?
20:35Yeah, so he specialises in that.
20:37We do, like, the coroner works, murders,
20:39we go to crime scenes.
20:41It's so interesting, yeah.
20:43I'm dead serious about this. We might not end up on another date,
20:45but can I come to work with you?
20:47A date in the morgue.
20:49Actually, yes, let's do it.
20:51So, with jammy morgue than impressed with Sam,
20:53I wonder if Trissie Phipps is getting a stiff
20:55on his table with Angelica.
20:57God, I'm good.
20:59If you had to eat someone's underwear
21:01in a one-metre radius of us right now,
21:03whose would you eat?
21:05Pass. Pass. Yeah, we're not answering that.
21:07Good start.
21:09That's a hard pass. Should we try another one?
21:11What's your favourite hobby?
21:13Favourite hobby? It probably would be, like,
21:15bird-watching, spending time outdoors in nature.
21:17I used to like swans until I realised they could actually
21:19get divorced and cheat on each other,
21:21and that really upset me.
21:23I'm with her. I hate those big, white, hissy pricks.
21:25Did that upset...?
21:27I mean, not all of them have got that Disney fairytale ending.
21:29Some have sunburns, but we've got slightly more
21:31rascal behaviour than others.
21:33Did you watch any Steve Irwin growing up?
21:35I don't watch TV. Do you not? No.
21:37Would you watch this? Maybe.
21:39I will watch this, definitely. Yeah?
21:41Yeah. OK. Just see how embarrassing my chat's been.
21:43Awful.
21:45Average. Good chat. It's been OK.
21:47It's been OK. Could do better. Could do better.
21:51Honestly, at this point, I'm staring at my watch,
21:53waiting for Tom to ring that bell.
21:55This is the driest, most boring date
21:57I've ever been on in my life.
21:59At the next table,
22:01let's see what Chris's idea of fast flirting with Nicole is.
22:03Tana says it's a wacky question.
22:05Pikachu or Charmander?
22:07Told you.
22:09Or Pikachu. Nice. OK.
22:11Sorry. Hold on.
22:13Take a break there.
22:15Pikachu. Let's go.
22:17I can't actually spell.
22:19Ah, yeah, great. Cheers to that.
22:21Cheers to that.
22:23Nicole's a good chinwagger, but let's put her to the test.
22:25What spice would you rub on what spice girl?
22:27Ginger on ginger.
22:29Next.
22:31Something like oregano for baby spice.
22:33OK. Something just, like, kind of subtle.
22:35Yeah, nothing crazy.
22:37This is literally my worst dream, by the way.
22:39When people just talk absolute rubbish,
22:41it is my favourite thing.
22:43BELL RINGS
22:45Bid your farewells. It's time for your next fast flirt.
22:47Oh.
22:49Aaron, it was a pleasure.
22:51Oh, it was lovely speaking to you.
22:53I'm not being an absolute cock.
22:55Well, I'll do my best.
22:57Are we doing a handshake or a hug? We'll do a hug.
22:59Nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you.
23:01How are you finding it? Yeah, it's fun.
23:03Yeah, really fun.
23:05Do you like anyone?
23:07Tom. What was her name?
23:09No, no, no, Tom. No, no, don't stitch me up here.
23:11Come on, help me out.
23:13Do you not write it down at the beginning of the day?
23:15That was tough. Why don't you just buzz off?
23:17I just can't. The reason it's fast flirting
23:19is that you want to get to the flirt fast.
23:21There was no flirt there. Well, that's it, you see.
23:23I felt like there was a job interview. We shook hands.
23:25I want to snog someone. You shook hands?
23:27I just shook my hand. Did you?
23:29Yeah. Oh, crumbs.
23:31On the upside, we ain't been buzzed yet.
23:33We haven't been buzzed yet.
23:35Still time, boys, still time.
23:45Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating,
23:47where our love-hungry celebs
23:49are halfway through Tom's surprise speed dating brunch.
23:53Let's see how they do in round three.
23:57On to your next fast flirt.
23:59Oh, look who it is.
24:01Chris's previous date, Nicole, is back.
24:03Stop looking at him.
24:05I haven't met you yet.
24:07Hello, Nicole. How are you doing?
24:09I'm guessing it's Nicole cos it's written on your neck.
24:11I was going to say, how did you know that?
24:13Mine's tattooed on my bum.
24:15Why has he got Nicole tattooed on his bum?
24:17Anyway, also back for more is handshaker Angelica.
24:19Hello.
24:21Hello. I'm Chris.
24:23Nice to meet you. My voice cracked. I don't know why.
24:25Hello, I'm Angelica. How do you do?
24:27Hi, Angelica. Really nice to meet you.
24:29Nice to meet you, too.
24:31Well, you really are an English rose, aren't you?
24:33Oh, thank you. That's really lovely.
24:35Very, very pretty.
24:37You've got massive eyes. Thank you.
24:39You've got, like, anime eyes. Thank you.
24:41Is that a compliment? Yeah, always.
24:43Do you like anime? I don't watch anime.
24:45She's probably not going to like anything you do or say.
24:49Ooh, and look at this young buck.
24:51It's Silver Fox Daniel.
24:53Hello. Stephen.
24:55Hi, Stephen. I'm Daniel.
24:57Daniel? Yes.
24:59Oh, God. I'm divorcing a Daniel.
25:01You're divorcing a Daniel.
25:03Is that good or bad?
25:05Well, bad, clearly.
25:07What do you do in London?
25:09They call us wankers.
25:11Bankers, wankers. Are you a wanker?
25:13I'm a wanker.
25:15I'm a cake.
25:17Hi, darling, how are you?
25:19Very nice to meet you.
25:21Give me one of those first.
25:23What's your name? Aaron.
25:25Having put in absolutely zero effort with anyone so far,
25:27let's see what approach Helen's going to take
25:29with her next speed date, Aaron.
25:31Do you want to have a staring competition?
25:33A staring competition?
25:35Yeah. Are you sure?
25:39Is this flirting or just an excuse not to talk to him?
25:43Over at the bar, let's see if the jammy sponge can do any better
25:46with another of Helen's previous buzz victims, Danny.
25:50Wow, your tattoos are amazing.
25:52Yeah, I've got loads. Oh, my gosh.
25:54Is that Will Ferrell?
25:57This is my TV and film like.
25:59Oh, God, we're not going to see Jim Davidson, are we?
26:01Phew, Jim Carrey, let's move on.
26:03What's this on? Heroes. Heroes.
26:05That's where I got the Avengers sign. Yeah.
26:07I've got Thor on my... No way! ..my Thor arm, my Thor arm.
26:10That's funny.
26:12Any fish tats? Is that...?
26:14Oh, God, he's actually got rice cake popping out the shorts.
26:18That's why... Didn't you just blink?
26:20Is that what staring competition is? I haven't done one for so long.
26:23Yeah, you can't blink.
26:24Intriguing stuff from Helen.
26:26She's really buying into this today, Tom.
26:29Right, let's see how Ella Morgan gets on with the Morgue Man.
26:32What's your name? My name's Sam.
26:34Sam, how old are you? 31.
26:36Fucking hell, are you? Yeah.
26:38Do you have big tits?
26:40Yeah, I've had a few things.
26:42What have you had? Salmon sperm.
26:44You've had salmon sperm? Yeah.
26:46Put where? All over your face.
26:48Makes sense. Why swim for miles upstream to spawn
26:51when you can just jizz on sunblocks, face?
26:53OK, so I know your age, you're 31, you've got sperm in your face...
26:56Salmon sperm. It's got to be fish sperm.
26:58Salmon sperm, sorry. Not anyone's sperm.
27:00You obviously go to the gym. Yeah.
27:02Are you not a bodybuilder, are you a PT?
27:04No, no, no, I'm a funeral director,
27:06cos I pick up dead people for a living. Yeah.
27:08You see the bodies? Yeah. So do you bury people?
27:10Yeah, we do all of it. We do everything you think of to death, we do.
27:13Do you kill them as well? Cos if so, I've got a couple of names.
27:16I decided that I'm going to have my body stuffed, like an animal...
27:20OK. ..and then hung up, so everyone can, like, praise me,
27:23and then my eyes would be on everyone,
27:25so no matter where you stand, it would be like I was looking at you.
27:29A, is that weird, and B, is that possible?
27:32I could do that.
27:34Well, Ella figures out how she's going to get a good stuffing
27:37from Sammy Salmon, the morgue man.
27:39Let's see how Chris is getting on with the swan-hater.
27:42What do you do for a job? I'm a parliamentary researcher.
27:45Sorry? A parliamentary researcher.
27:48Is that politics? Yes, it is.
27:51Correct.
27:55Oh, God.
27:57You are the sweetest human in the world,
28:01but I hate politics so much.
28:04Politics gives me a direction.
28:06Not me. All you have to say is EU farming subsidies
28:10and I fertilise my knickers.
28:12Am I to take it from that last remark that you buzzed the buzzer?
28:16I buzzed, but more because it's not your problem, it's my problem.
28:20Do you know what I mean?
28:22Yeah, yeah, it's not you, it's me. Blah, blah, blah. Bollocks.
28:25I'm afraid that means the termination of this date.
28:28That's OK. It was lovely to meet you.
28:30It was so nice to meet you. I feel bad buzzing you.
28:32Politics is a very touchy subject. It's touchy.
28:35I shall convene. I feel bad.
28:39Politics.
28:41It's a good reason, it's a solid reason.
28:43I applaud your candour. Thank you.
28:45And not cross.
28:47Oh, Tom is totally fuming, isn't he?
28:49On the next table, let's see what the Fips makes of Chris's fancy girl, Nicole.
28:53Tell me about yourself. I like your bracelet as well, very sweet.
28:56Thank you. Have these got a meaning?
28:58They actually do have meanings for my family.
29:00They're big on family, so, yeah, music.
29:02I dance. Yeah? I can do salsa.
29:04Can you? Will you teach me a step? I can.
29:06Shall we? What, right now? Yeah.
29:08Of course. OK. Uh-oh.
29:10So, you're going to do...
29:12I'm so shit at that, oh, my God.
29:14And then back. I'm so stiff.
29:16Not in that way, I promise.
29:18Shall I teach you my... So, this is called the Socky in Afrikaans.
29:21So, we do a little step in here. Ooh!
29:23We do one in there.
29:25And we do arms up, slide.
29:27In.
29:29Out.
29:31We'll finish it there. Hello. With a kiss.
29:35Oh, she was going to go there as well!
29:37Not looking good, Chris, am I?
29:39If Tristan ends up picking the same girl as me again,
29:43I'm not going to be held responsible for how I'll react.
29:46I mean, it's probably just going to be a strongly worded email
29:49to his agent, but...
29:51..it will be strongly worded.
29:56I've enjoyed it, thank you.
29:58It's so nice to meet you.
30:00If I die in the next five minutes... I'll have you stuffed on the wall.
30:03..take me straight to the fridge and shove me on the wall, yeah.
30:06Not a sentence I thought I'd hear today.
30:08Celebrities, time for your next fast flirt.
30:12And so we enter the final round with some familiar faces.
30:16Oh! And it's now Chris's turn to putt it on Golf Pro Hannah,
30:21who got along very well with Fippy Fips earlier.
30:24And cue the random nonsense in three, two, one.
30:28What is the most disgusting thing that you like that you shouldn't?
30:33I don't know. I'm quite gross.
30:35Nothing really makes me think disgusting. OK.
30:37Oh, plate licker. I dated a plate licker. Oh!
30:39That was weird.
30:41The issue was, he licked the plates better than he licked me.
30:44And I think that's a problem.
30:46That's actually devastating. Do you reckon he was into sploshing?
30:49Sploshing? It's where you get food involved in sex.
30:52Maybe you should have combined the two
30:54and you'd have got the licking that you wanted.
30:56I didn't like the sex, though, so I just feel like I would have enjoyed
30:59the food more. It wouldn't have worked.
31:01We could like the same things, but if the sex is crap,
31:03I may as well go and do that with my best mate.
31:05I've got a best mate that likes all the same things as me.
31:07Not the sex, sorry, the things I like.
31:09Sorry, just had a horrible image of me sploshing off with Romesh.
31:13Anyway, across the room, we've got a sparkly surprise for Stephen.
31:17Hi. Hiya. Wow.
31:19Hi. What an outfit.
31:21Thank you. Hiya. How are you? Nice to meet you.
31:23Stephen. Fur Han.
31:25Fur Han. Fur like a fur coat, Han like Han Solo.
31:28OK, Fur Han. Talk me through your outfit.
31:31A little bit of my personality.
31:33A bit of sparkle, a bit of glamour, that's all me all over.
31:36OK, cool. I love it.
31:38So, what do you want for the future?
31:40Do you want to get married, do you want to have kids?
31:42Of course, darling. I'm a stay-at-home wife.
31:45You want to be a stay-at-home wife? Of course, yeah.
31:47I want my man to come home and be, like, excited to see me.
31:51Sorry. Sorry.
31:53Aw, look at you.
31:55Another one bites the dust.
31:57Sorry. That's all right, don't worry, darling.
31:59Yeah, but that doesn't align with me.
32:01I need someone to go out to work.
32:03Nah, that ain't a bit of me.
32:05Everyone's got to earn their way.
32:07Who buzzed? I buzzed, I buzzed.
32:09I'm afraid... Oh!
32:11I'm afraid that means that's the end of this date.
32:14Do you want to say your farewells?
32:16Farewell, nice to meet you. Yeah, and you. Bye-bye.
32:20Oh!
32:22And that concludes your fast flirts.
32:26That felt like 4.5 seconds, which is how long I last in bed.
32:30Oh, OK. I really, really need to quit.
32:33I blinked, I blinked. No, you wouldn't, I'm sorry.
32:35Oh, my God, I can't do that.
32:37Fucking hell, they're not still doing that, are they?
32:39Do you know what's going to happen as well?
32:41We're going to pick the same person. Yeah, of course.
32:43But this time, we'll have a cock-off.
32:46Coming up...
32:48Coming up...
32:50Flanners reveals a big secret.
32:52This is becoming quite difficult for me now
32:55because things have just got more intense.
32:59You wasted our time.
33:02What's this mean? Are you going to leave?
33:04Are you leaving the agency? Are you going to leave?
33:06Right, I'm off to milk a salmon and rub it on my nut.
33:19Welcome back to Celebs Go Brunching.
33:21Our celebs have just finished four rounds of speed dating,
33:24while the agents disappeared all afternoon to let Tom run the show.
33:28Lazy bastardos.
33:30They've marked down who they'd like to go on a date with.
33:32Hey there, hey there, hey there.
33:34But the brundog's about to drop a shit sandwich at the singles party.
33:39We told you, you could select any one of these datees,
33:43but we have decided to add a little twist.
33:48The twist is that you could select any of these datees,
33:52but they also have to select you.
33:57If one of you have not selected each other,
34:00that means we will see you back at the agency.
34:04There's a good chance no-one's coming away from this with a date.
34:09So, let's see if your fast flirting has been a success or a flop.
34:14Oh, shit, here we go again.
34:16Moment of truth.
34:18Pray I don't get rejected.
34:21Tristan, Chris.
34:24Me and Tristan duelling again.
34:26If my choice has picked him,
34:28there's going to be a Chris-shaped hole in the door.
34:32Oh, here we go.
34:33Ladies.
34:34Ladies.
34:35Wowee!
34:37Welcome, welcome.
34:39Girls, honestly, how did Tristan do?
34:42I don't know about you girls, but we talked more about me than we did about him.
34:45Same.
34:46It seemed very genuine.
34:49Tristan, you had a choice.
34:53Looking at your card here, I see there's lots written down,
34:56but you have one great big circle around...
35:03Hannah.
35:04Correct.
35:07So, Tristan, why did you select Hannah?
35:09You're fantastic. You've got great energy.
35:11I think you're great. I'd like to get to know you a bit more.
35:14All right, so it's time to find out
35:17if Hannah has selected Tristan.
35:21Will Hannah want to see Tristan again,
35:23or will he have egg all over that posh, beautiful face?
35:27You have circled...
35:32Tristan.
35:33Yay!
35:35It's a match. Get in, Tristan.
35:37Tristan.
35:43I dated them both ten out of ten. They were completely different.
35:46That was fun, but I think I just had a little bit more connection with Tristan.
35:51Well, can I just say, Tristan, Hannah, you two will be going on a date tomorrow.
35:56Tomorrow? Jesus! I haven't brought enough clothes.
36:00I usually date niggers, but...
36:03I am so excited that I got matched with Tristan.
36:06I definitely got some chemistry,
36:08so it would be nice to see where our next date goes,
36:10and maybe being in a situation where we get more time in each other's company.
36:14Who knows?
36:15So, next up, we have our man, Chris.
36:17Chris. I'm stressed now.
36:19Chris, how did you find Fast Florida?
36:21I really thoroughly enjoyed it, yeah.
36:23There's not enough time for me to have to get deep, so...
36:27So, now, Chris, looks like you have circled...
36:31The moment of truth.
36:33Who's it going to be?
36:34Anime eyes, immaculate eyes,
36:37giving him the glad eye or eyebrow eyes?
36:41Nicole.
36:42Yes!
36:45I just really enjoyed my time with Nicole.
36:48I asked her some really ridiculous questions.
36:50She just rolled with it.
36:52So, Nicole, it looks like...
36:59Oh, God, it's going to be Tristan again.
37:04It is a match.
37:05Yes!
37:06You have circled Chris.
37:08Go on, Chris.
37:10Oh, that's a lovely hug.
37:12It is a match.
37:13Yes!
37:14You have circled Chris.
37:16Go on, Chris.
37:18Oh, that's a lovely hug.
37:20Oh, that's a lovely hug as well.
37:22Nearly fell over.
37:23Why did you pick Chris?
37:25I just had a really fun time.
37:27I like somebody who doesn't take life too seriously.
37:29I could just tell there was something more to him
37:31and I was like, I want to kind of see, get in those layers.
37:33I don't know who's told you that.
37:35I'm happy, I've achieved something.
37:37I've picked a girl and she's picked me back.
37:39Validation.
37:41Ladies, we want to thank you so much for your time.
37:44Thank you so much.
37:45So nice to meet you both.
37:47Really excited to go on a date with Chris.
37:49I think it will be really fun.
37:51I can't wait to pick up where we left off
37:53and I'm sure he's got, you know, some more kind of fun chat in store.
37:57Hi, guys.
37:59Next, Paul ran Stephen's numbers.
38:01You've not circled anyone.
38:03Oh.
38:04Really?
38:05But he was goggle-eyed for no-one as he still wants to crack the safe.
38:08Last week, my dating kind of went up here
38:11and I'd like to stay up there,
38:13so if I could, I would like to go on another date safe.
38:16Really?
38:17Oh, hey.
38:18I think you've made some very big improvements, Stephen.
38:21Yeah.
38:22And I think your clarity has really shone through
38:24and it's a much different vibe than the last brunch,
38:27so for that, well done.
38:30Cheers, guys.
38:31See you, boys.
38:34Next up, it was the girls.
38:36I'm utterly confused.
38:38And Jammie did the same and selected nobody.
38:41Yeah.
38:43Oh, my gosh!
38:46I was interested and I had a great time,
38:49but I just didn't feel like we were, any of us, linked romantically.
38:54You know, this is something that we'll definitely need to work on
38:58back at the agency.
39:01Jamelia really seems to be struggling to find her flirty side
39:05and it's not just been today.
39:07We have to work out if her heart is really in this.
39:10Next up...
39:13Ella.
39:14But has Ella circled a fella?
39:16How did you find fast flirting?
39:18I mean, it was my first time and I know I talk a lot,
39:21but I thought I would really boss it.
39:24So, gents, how was it dating Ella?
39:26I had a great time on it. It was an easy conversation.
39:28Sometimes it's a little bit intense.
39:31The questions came thick and fast, but I enjoyed it all the same.
39:34This is great feedback.
39:36And to me, that's Ella.
39:38It does get more normal and slowed down as you get to know me,
39:42I promise.
39:43Well, so, you have circled someone who was fun, a good laugh,
39:48and that circle was around Sam's name.
39:51Ooh, Sam Sam, the Sam and Spath man.
39:54Yeah.
39:55Yeah, there's just that spark.
39:57It was a spark, it was a spark.
39:59But unless Sam selects you, there won't be another date.
40:07And it looks like...
40:14Get on with it, P-Dog.
40:16You circled Ella's name.
40:18Yes! Yes!
40:21Ella reeled in her fish.
40:23Sam, why did you pick Ella?
40:25Like I said, the date was easy, it was easy flowing.
40:27I feel like there's a lot more to find out about you as well.
40:29You're very interesting.
40:30Well, you work in a funeral home, so you're very interesting too.
40:34If you like the smell of formaldehyde and dead people, perfect.
40:38Tomorrow, you two are going on a date.
40:40Tomorrow. Yes!
40:41Excited about that, Sam?
40:42Buzzing, yeah.
40:43Buzzing.
40:44Ella, excited about that?
40:45Yes.
40:46Thank you for not rejecting me.
40:52All right.
40:53Next, we have Helen.
40:55Over to sweet Flanny Adams.
40:57Helen.
40:58So, Helen, how did you find fast flirting?
41:02To be honest with you, I didn't really enjoy the fast flirting today.
41:07No shit, Bowskill?
41:08I'm so sorry, Sam, that I buzzed you so quickly.
41:12You buzzed him?
41:13Yeah, I buzzed you as well.
41:15Wow.
41:17This is interesting.
41:18So, you buzzed half the guys?
41:20So, now, let me go to the gentleman here.
41:22What was it like dating Helen?
41:25I feel like maybe I was prejudged a bit just walking over.
41:27Because as soon as you sat down, it just seemed like you didn't want to be there at all.
41:30Yes, Sam, stick it to the flan.
41:32But there must have been someone she liked.
41:34What's the deal, P-Dog?
41:36There's not one circle on your card.
41:38No.
41:42This is just really difficult,
41:44because I kind of feel like I really have given the agency my heart and soul.
41:48I've been totally honest.
41:50I'm a very, very honest person.
41:52But I did meet someone at home at the beginning of the year.
41:58Are you taking the piss?
42:03I really wanted to join the agency,
42:05because I kind of felt like, obviously, I was in a really long-term relationship,
42:09not much dating experience,
42:11and I really wanted to do this for me,
42:13for me to grow, to find out more about myself.
42:16But it's really hard, because there is somebody at home that I have fallen for.
42:22This is becoming quite difficult for me now,
42:24because, unfortunately, I'm comparing everybody to him,
42:28and it's making it very difficult now when I'm dating.
42:32Pardon?
42:34You've got a boyfriend?
42:36Why on earth did she not tell us about this?
42:39Wow. Wow.
42:40So, can I ask you a question?
42:42Why are you telling us now?
42:44Yeah, flan up, Flanagan.
42:46My feelings have just got stronger,
42:48and things have just got more intense.
42:51Yeah, I actually could see something with this guy at home,
42:55something really quite lovely.
42:57I think I am in love with him.
42:59SHE GASPS
43:00And it's just becoming quite difficult now.
43:05Helen, you absolute player.
43:08I mean, I don't think the agency is the place for you, darling, but wow.
43:13Just to be clear, you have a boyfriend,
43:17who you're in love with,
43:19you have been dating him.
43:22Are those three correct?
43:24So that means you lied to us.
43:31Right?
43:32And that also means you wasted our time.
43:36When our celebs are not honest with us,
43:39it makes our jobs very difficult,
43:41because we need their transparency
43:43in order for us to help them to the best of our ability.
43:46What's most disturbing is that she's been playing all of us.
43:50Like, her dates, everyone here at the agency, the other celebs.
43:53You know, and in one sense, you can call it acting,
43:56in another, it's just lying.
43:59I really did want to join the agency and give everything a fair.
44:03But I think I've actually found something really quite nice,
44:06and I don't know, like, maybe I could bring him in.
44:09Who is this flan? I mean, man, is he a celeb?
44:12Since joining the agency, my relationships got way more intense,
44:16and I just didn't realise how intense as well the agency would be,
44:21and it's just really eaten away at me,
44:24and I just needed to come clean.
44:27Thank you for bringing it to us now,
44:30and this is something that, yeah,
44:32we're going to have to seriously have a think about,
44:35I mean, how you proceed within the agency, if at all.
44:39We're here to serve in transparency and honesty,
44:43and that's something that we'll definitely have to have a conversation about,
44:47and we will talk to you back at the agency, OK?
44:50OK. OK. All right, thanks.
44:53All right, gentlemen...
44:55Oh, shit, I forgot about them.
44:57Thanks, guys. Thank you for joining us today. Thank you.
44:59Yeah, see you later, lads. Good effort. Well played.
45:02All right, ladies, you can take a seat for us. Thank you.
45:05OK, guys.
45:07As always, a brunch is never completely straightforward.
45:10You can say that again, Anna.
45:12We have a lot to think about,
45:14and we will see some of you back in the agency sooner than others, OK?
45:17We'll see you, guys. See you. Thank you.
45:19Take care. Bye. Bye.
45:21What does this mean? Are you going to leave?
45:24You know what, I'm just really honest,
45:26and, like, I couldn't keep it in any longer.
45:28They're going to ask you to leave, Helen.
45:30What, like, what are you doing here?
45:32No, I... He just got more intense. Yeah.
45:36Paul's really scary, though, actually.
45:38When he tells you about how scary he's, Paul...
45:40I need a drink. Me too.
45:42But I'm really honest. I can't help how I feel.
45:45Well, he was honest until tonight.
45:48You're the Helen now, you can see their point.
45:51Has doing this made you realise that you like your boy more?
45:54Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
46:01Anyway, I've got to go back to the wife, so...
46:05Come on, then. Plan alive. Let's get the flak out of here.
46:08See you.
46:09Tomorrow night, it's make or break for Helen.
46:13If you lie again, I would not want you to remain in this agency.
46:17Confession time for Ella.
46:19I slept with Rhys, it's really awkward.
46:22And a new celeb joins the agency.
46:25Karl Walker's ex-lover, Lauren Goodman.
46:28I'm so angry at him.
46:30I don't know if I will ever forgive him.
46:35As are celebs.
46:36Wave your arms like you're walking a fart away.
46:38Girls.
46:39Have you knocked one out over me?
46:41Dating.
46:42You're not losing the circulation to your willy, they're so tight.
46:45I don't know about that.
46:49I don't know about that.