Dawson's Creek Season 5 Episode 7 Text, Lies And Videotape
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00You know, you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to.
00:06You're not thinking about chickening out again, are you?
00:09I don't know nothing about chickening out.
00:12I might ditch, but that's something different, apparently.
00:18You know, it's not really so bad.
00:21Therapy?
00:22Yeah.
00:23So I just talk, right? I go into a total stranger's office.
00:27I tell them my deepest fears, and...
00:30Is this supposed to solve something?
00:32No, not necessarily.
00:34Freud actually considered himself quite lucky if he could manage to convert hysterical misery into common, everyday unhappiness.
00:43So the goal here is unhappiness.
00:45Exactly.
00:46Right.
00:48Ah, what did he know, anyway?
00:50All that crap about penis envy and overemphasis on libido.
00:56I love college, Janet. I feel like I'm in a French movie.
01:02Really, it's not so bad. Trust me.
01:0690% of people on this earth could benefit from a little honest-to-goodness time on the couch.
01:13You actually laid on the couch?
01:15Once.
01:16But it was not very comfortable.
01:18The whole Tom Frost office, they were very stark, very Danish.
01:26However, I predict that this Rachel Weir of yours will probably be much warmer.
01:30I'm sure she's like a spider-plant-in-the-window kind of chick.
01:34Do you never feel ridiculous blathering on about your problems to a total stranger?
01:39No more ridiculous than I feel blathering on to no one on the radio.
01:43Hey, it's not true. I listen.
01:45You and Grams.
01:51Thank you for doing this with me.
01:53Anytime.
02:23You're telling me to run like metal
02:27Bowls and arrows
02:29Stars and sunsets
02:31Hey, hey, hey, yeah
02:33Hey, hey, hey, yeah
02:35Every heartbeat
02:37Every kiss
02:39Just makes me wonder
02:42What all this is
02:44Suits of armor
02:46Hearts and arrows
02:48Hey, hey, hey, yeah
02:54We're driving to the moon
02:58And she caught me in a suit
03:00Okay, so just because-
03:01I got it. Love ya. Mean it. Really. Seriously.
03:04Audrey. Audrey, call me if you need me.
03:07How come your film geek looks like Tom Cruise and the one who worships me looks like the kid who doesn't want to go to the dance at Sixteen Candles?
03:15You know, you should be nicer to George. I'm sure he's going to be very famous someday.
03:20Whatever. All I know is that I practically had to sleep with him to get him to loan me his digital video camera.
03:26What do you need that for, anyway?
03:28My audition tape. Real world Ibiza. Here I come.
03:32You kidding me?
03:33No. And it's not that I wouldn't miss you, Joe. It's just, who wouldn't rather winter in Spain?
03:39Okay, I'm having problems with the tone of the tape, though. Do I go for vamp, vixen, or all out slut?
03:45Well, just as long as you're planning on representing all the colors of the rainbow.
03:51What is all this stuff, anyway?
03:53I'm trying to get up to speed for this Rose Lazar project. We're having another meeting tonight.
03:58Oh, shouldn't she be getting ready?
03:59I'm trying, but these books- I mean, you practically need footnotes for the footnotes.
04:05Not that, you fool!
04:07Wardrobe!
04:10Audrey, I really don't think anyone's going to be noticing what I'm wearing.
04:13Okay, and where would Madonna be if she had that attitude?
04:15I'm serious here. You have no idea what these meetings are like.
04:20I mean, everyone else is like a junior or senior.
04:23They're dropping names so fast and furiously, they're practically leaving dents in the carpet.
04:28And then Wilder will throw in these little off-the-cuff explanations, obviously intended for me.
04:33I mean, the guy knows I'm an idiot. Why would he even bother picking me for something like this?
04:38Please! Because you're hot!
04:41And he's a teacher, and don't tell me you didn't consider that a possibility.
04:45I mean, would it be so awful if some incredibly gorgeous guy found you attractive?
04:50You know, has it ever occurred to you that the goal of the college experience is not to be reduced to a piece of meat?
04:56So you'd rather be a brain in a jar?
04:59Then I wouldn't have to worry about what I'm wearing.
05:04Definitely this.
05:08So how many people are actually coming to this anniversary thingy?
05:11Maybe 300, almost all of whom will be eating your mushroom dump crêpes,
05:15which you have approximately 39 hours left to perfect.
05:19And these are friends.
05:21Friends. Backers. Patrons. Reviewers.
05:25We're all happy to keep being our friends so long as they're kept happy.
05:29Rob called.
05:30I'm going to deal with what I'm going to have to say for myself.
05:32He called to congratulate you.
05:34Rob called.
05:35I'm going to deal with what I'm going to have to say for myself.
05:37He called to confirm the white asparagus should be here tomorrow morning.
05:40This is too early, but we've got to wait for the sauce to caramelize. Try it again.
05:44He also sang congratulations.
05:46That means a lot.
05:48Especially considering that last year he demanded cash for every delivery and kept sending us the wilted lettuce.
05:54I know, and you slept here every night to wait for the deliveries.
05:57Well, I had to be there in front enough time so they could unpack the stuff and then repack it again.
06:02Rob hated you for that.
06:03He did. However, he started sending us the fresh stuff.
06:06So you were actually the second chef here?
06:09Yep. They hired me after the first one's coke habit became a bit too habitual.
06:15You really used to live here?
06:17For months at a time.
06:19That has got to be hell on a marriage.
06:22Hey, speaking of, is Emily going to be here tomorrow?
06:26No, she can't make it.
06:33I'm sorry.
06:50Something funny?
06:52No, it's a long story.
06:56Longer than 50 minutes?
06:59No, it's just my friend Jen and I were trying to guess what you'd be like.
07:08Right. Right.
07:10I used to have plastic ones, but I got rid of them.
07:13Makes the patients nervous.
07:15No one wants a therapist that can't even keep a plant alive.
07:18Right.
07:20So what else did you expect?
07:22I don't know. I don't know what anybody expects.
07:25Robin Williams and goodwill hunting?
07:27Or Judd Hirsch in a big sweater?
07:33Do you want to start over or something? I want to do this right.
07:37You are doing it right.
07:39So I guess you know why I'm here.
07:43I would kind of like to hear that from you, if I could.
07:48I've been having these attacks.
07:51Panic attacks?
07:53Yeah.
07:55And I know they're my way of dealing with my father's death.
07:59And you're sure about that?
08:02Well, nothing else is really all that different about my life right now.
08:06Nothing else?
08:09I guess it's not really true, is it?
08:12Did it feel true?
08:16Well, six months ago, this is not what I thought I'd be doing with my life.
08:23What are you doing?
08:26Nothing.
08:29I mean, I'm helping my mom, I guess.
08:32And you're not in school?
08:34No, I was, after USC.
08:37That's good school. It's far away.
08:40Yeah.
08:42I'm thinking about going back. I mean, not now.
08:45Obviously, I mean, my mom still needs me.
08:48I've got a baby sister who's nine and one.
08:51But next semester, maybe?
08:54Yeah, I've been meaning to call them and find out about that.
09:00Is this something that you want to do?
09:03I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that's what's wrong with me.
09:06I don't really do anything.
09:10It's like I'm frozen between the past and the future.
09:13I mean, there's no reason I couldn't go back.
09:15Except for the panic attacks, and your mom, who obviously needs you, and your baby sister.
09:21Right.
09:24I guess...
09:27I guess that wasn't all that true, either, was it?
09:30No. The brain works in mysterious ways.
09:34So am I just blind to myself?
09:37Dawson...
09:40Losing someone you love, losing them suddenly, with no logical explanation...
09:47The brain isn't set up to cope with something like that.
09:51And along the way, a few lies here and there...
09:57It's probably par for the course.
10:00The only problem is when you start convincing yourself that the lies are true.
10:11If you ask me, I think this whole thing must be evidence of some big lesbian affair.
10:18That's why the husband never showed anybody these letters during her lifetime.
10:22And it would explain all the references to Sappho.
10:26You know, Alan, just because a teenage girl happens to appreciate the lyric poetry of the ancient world's most famous lesbian...
10:34Doesn't necessarily mean she wants to sleep with other teenage girls.
10:38Yeah, but Rose did.
10:40As literary sluts go, she was right up there with Edna St. Vincent Millay and Aynis Nin.
10:47Okay, before Cassandra drops any more names on us...
10:50Joey, any thoughts on what makes these particular Rose Lazar letters so different from the hundreds of others we've been sloughing through?
11:00Uh...
11:04Well, for starters, they're interesting.
11:11And this may sound like a stupid question, but...
11:15Who's I.V.?
11:17That is a far from stupid question. In fact, that is THE question.
11:21I.V.
11:22I. period. V. period.
11:24The person to whom all these letters are written could be anybody.
11:28She never uses a full name?
11:30Not within the letters themselves. What about the envelopes?
11:33She could have destroyed them, thinking that the letters were still inside, or they all possibly may be in a shoebox stuffed under a bed in New Jersey.
11:41So essentially what you're saying is we have absolutely no idea who these letters were written to.
11:47None.
11:49All that we know are that these are the most intimate, most revealing letters of her career.
11:54For the first time, in these letters, we catch a glimpse of somebody who is real.
11:58Somebody who doubts themselves.
12:00Somebody who is not afraid of looking stupid while asking essential questions about life.
12:08And Rose obviously wrote them to somebody that she cared a lot about.
12:12Other than that, we know nothing.
12:15So it's a mystery.
12:17Cool.
12:19So it's a mystery.
12:21Cool.
12:23Like, Derrida's postcard for real.
12:26Don't you think, Joey?
12:28Um, I probably would if I had any idea who you were talking about.
12:35Okay.
12:36I think that's a good note to end on.
12:38Um, so next time, I want you all to have ideas on who this mystery person could be.
12:45Many, many ideas.
12:48Till then.
12:55So, you, uh, got a date for Wednesday?
12:59No.
13:01What happened to that, uh, blonde girl I used to see you with?
13:05Melissa?
13:07Melanie.
13:08Right.
13:09She's a law student that tends to take up a lot of your time.
13:12That's too bad.
13:14She's a law student.
13:16Probably could have come in handy someday.
13:21So listen, want me to set you up with one of my friends?
13:25Nope.
13:26Why not?
13:27I've got some hot friends.
13:30I said no.
13:31Okay.
13:32Hey, what have you done with Pacey?
13:35He used to be such a lovable glump.
13:37Well, he's a little fed up right now.
13:41Yeah, about what?
13:43Believe me, you don't want to know.
13:46Maybe I do.
13:51Okay.
13:52You know that boyfriend of yours?
13:54The one I've been hearing so much about?
13:56He wouldn't by any chance be coming tomorrow night, would he?
13:59No, not exactly.
14:01You see, not here it's been months, and I've never actually seen the guy.
14:05How is that possible?
14:07Well, it's like I said, he's got a really crazy schedule.
14:13And when he's not standing you up, does he ever take you to any place special?
14:18I don't know, maybe Boston Harbor or a gigantic sailboat?
14:26So what, he told you?
14:29No, he didn't tell me.
14:31It's my boat.
14:35All this time you've been complaining to me about your boyfriend,
14:38and here I've been stupid enough to actually have sympathy for you.
14:42I've asked you to have sympathy for me.
14:44You didn't ask me to have sympathy.
14:46And believe me, I've been trying not to.
14:48So what, you're just going to lay your little guilt trip on me now?
14:51You don't know anything about my life, Mason.
14:53What I know is that this relationship is going to bring you nothing but grief.
14:58And I also know that I had to look his wife in the eyes and lie for you.
15:06Believe me, I was not too enjoyable.
15:09Yeah, well, you know, in the real world, sometimes people actually have to do things that are not so enjoyable.
15:15And accept things that are a little less than perfect.
15:18And compromise for reasons that sometimes people are too immature to comprehend.
15:23In which case, they should just stay the hell out of it.
15:36So, uh, how was your therapy?
15:40It was fine.
15:42Did she have an opinion about you, I see?
15:45Not really.
15:47Well, you know, Dawson, eventually things are going to have to start getting back to normal around here.
15:55Everything's ever normal around here.
16:01Ah, here we go.
16:06This last item is the living trust.
16:09As you know, the trust provides money for health care, educational assistance, financial support.
16:17You and Dawson are the listed recipients.
16:21But not Lily.
16:23To my knowledge, Mitch never filed a codicil, including her in the trust.
16:28Which means that technically she won't have access to it.
16:33Which isn't necessarily a concern right now.
16:36There are ways that we can work around that, perfectly legal ways.
16:40But that's not ideal.
16:42No.
16:43I would take a look around for it.
16:46I mean, you never know where these things can turn up.
16:48A folder, an envelope, the back of a drawer.
16:52We'll certainly look for it.
16:55Ann, thank you.
16:57Good luck.
17:12So I take it you've been finding our little Rose Lazar project somewhat snooze-induced.
17:18Well, it wouldn't go that far.
17:20But you have implied that most of Rose's letters were uninteresting.
17:25Well, it's just that, you know, up until this point they've all been so stiff and formal.
17:31As if she's writing to someone who's grading her or something.
17:34People can't be at ease with other people who are giving them grades?
17:38No. Or at least they shouldn't be.
17:42Good point.
17:44So you don't think she could have written them to a teacher, say, or a mentor?
17:47Keep in mind that she was quite young when she wrote these.
17:52Around 18 or 19, I think.
17:55I don't know.
17:57I think they were written to a friend.
17:59Interesting.
18:01So you're not buying Cassandra's tour of lesbian love affair theory?
18:06Hmm.
18:08I don't know.
18:10It's just that if they were love letters, wouldn't she be...
18:13What? Be more obvious about it?
18:16Not if she was writing to another woman back in the 20s.
18:19No, that's not what I meant.
18:21I mean, if they were love letters, wouldn't she be less honest?
18:25There's a paradox in there somewhere.
18:27Huh. I read all of them last night.
18:30And Rose totally pours her heart out into these letters.
18:33And who is that honest with someone they're sexually attracted to?
18:37I mean, people can be friends, right? Best friends.
18:40But the second sexual attraction comes into it, it's like all bets are off.
18:44As far as honesty is concerned.
18:48So you don't think people can be both friends and lovers?
18:53No, I do. I hope I do, but...
18:58Not at 18.
19:02Well, then I think you better concentrate on this friend angle.
19:05You know, I would, but to be honest,
19:08I don't have the same background as everybody else.
19:12I don't even know where to start.
19:14Sure you do.
19:16Where do most people make their most lasting friendships?
19:20And don't say high school.
19:24College.
19:25Exactly.
19:26And which progressive, if overpriced, liberal arts college
19:30did Rose Lazar happen to go to?
19:33This one.
19:35Which means her friends...
19:38I'm the only one here, too.
19:42Why are you helping me?
19:45Let's just say I like underdogs.
20:09Honey?
20:12Hey, you don't think you could beat the restaurant, do you?
20:14They've got a drawer somewhere in the office.
20:17I thought you were going to stop looking.
20:19Yes, but I really can't.
20:22But you heard what Mr. Bresney said, didn't you?
20:24It's a technicality, it doesn't matter, honey.
20:26Everything is going to be fine.
20:28I don't care.
20:30I don't care.
20:32I don't care.
20:34I don't care.
20:36It's a technicality, it doesn't matter, honey.
20:38Everything is going to be fine.
20:40It would be better if we could find him.
20:42He's got to be here somewhere.
20:43Dawson, stop.
20:44Why?
20:45Because you're scaring me a little.
20:52You found it, didn't you?
20:54Page 63 of the Stephen King novel on his nightstand.
20:59And it's not signed.
21:03It can't be.
21:06Honey, your father was a lot of things,
21:08but he wasn't good with details.
21:34Hi.
21:37Oh, hi.
21:39Can I?
21:40Sure.
21:42Thanks.
21:44Don't tell me.
21:45You're looking for this?
21:48Yeah.
21:51So, got any theories yet?
21:54Well, I was looking into her roommate, Shirley Brown,
21:58Yeah, but that's doubtful.
22:00Rose mentions her later in her letters to Lola Murray.
22:04Calls her small-minded.
22:07And would you bare your soul to someone
22:09you thought was small-minded?
22:13I guess not.
22:14But the whole college friends thing, that's a good idea.
22:17I can't believe we both had it.
22:20But it's okay.
22:23I mean, this whole thing is just an excuse
22:25to be around Professor Wilder anyway, right?
22:30You can have the yearbook if you want it.
22:34Thanks.
22:43Hey.
22:47Witter.
22:51Witter.
22:54Torres.
22:57I thought I might apologize for the stuff I said.
23:03What stuff you said?
23:06You know what stuff.
23:09Well, it's okay,
23:11because I wasn't exactly Prince Charming either.
23:16No, but you got put in the middle
23:19of something, Pacey, which wasn't fair.
23:22And when you called me on it,
23:25I was defensive and judgmental,
23:28which wasn't fair either.
23:32Besides, what do I really know about you?
23:38I could say the same about you.
23:41Me?
23:43About me, there's really not much to know.
23:47Oh, come on, that's not an answer.
23:52You remind me of him.
23:55I remind you of a guy who could cheat on his wife?
23:58Stop.
24:01When we got together, it wasn't exactly cheating.
24:04Emily had walked out on him.
24:07She felt that he spent too much time at the restaurant,
24:09and she was right.
24:11What she didn't understand was that without him,
24:13her condition would have folded in six months.
24:18Danny just has this kind of infectious idealism,
24:23this belief that things can work out.
24:32I think that's what he sees in you.
24:38You know, we don't have to stay out here on the dock.
24:41No.
24:43I came to say I'm sorry,
24:45and now that I have, I should probably go home.
24:50You sure?
24:52Yeah.
24:55Okay.
24:59All right.
25:01Good night, Karen.
25:05Go to your PC.
25:24So you like her?
25:26Yeah.
25:28Yeah, I do. She's cool.
25:30Yeah.
25:32She wants me to come three times a week.
25:36Good.
25:38Good. My lack of mental health is good.
25:41Yes, because it means that I will get to see you more often.
25:48Wow.
25:50Well, we just found out that my dad neglected to add Lily to his will.
25:57And what did your mom say?
26:00She said the same thing the lawyer said, which is that it's not a big deal.
26:03It's a technicality we can work around.
26:05Well, it probably is.
26:08It's not. It can't be.
26:11I feel like you're, I don't know, like hanging onto the wrong thing here.
26:18What do you mean?
26:21Maybe your mom's right.
26:22You know, maybe the will isn't such a big deal.
26:25It's probably nothing.
26:28It's probably a red herring or something.
26:32A meaningless little detail sent to you by the universe to throw you off track of the real culprit.
26:39Who is that?
26:42I mean, he just made a mistake, Dawson.
26:47I know. I'm not saying he's perfect.
26:50I know, but you just seem...
26:54You're so afraid to get mad at him.
26:56I'm not.
26:59What could...
27:02It's not going to change anything.
27:04But it might change you.
27:08And call me crazy, but I think that is the point of therapy.
27:17Okay, so this is the stuff of me giving the tour.
27:19George took this. It's nice, isn't it?
27:21The lighting's good, and I think it's better than the stuff of me pretending to study, right?
27:25They're all great, Audrey, but you know what? I'm going to be late.
27:28Just chill. There's only one more option, okay?
27:36I know.
27:38Great birthday present, right?
27:41I mean, what 14-year-old wants to fend for themselves like an adult?
27:49But I have to forgive her. I know that.
27:55Because forgiving her is the only way that I'm ever going to be good to anyone else.
28:03The part that's just really terrifying is that I think that I'm actually...
28:10I don't know. I'm like turning into her.
28:13I'm loud and shameless and bossy, and I...
28:21I freak people out sometimes.
28:28But I don't think that I can change that.
28:32Because even if I don't particularly like who I am, I...
28:37At least I know who that is.
28:40And if I tried to change...
28:46I don't know, so I'd be...
28:55What? What's wrong?
28:57Nothing's wrong. That's great. That's it. That is...
29:02That's the one.
29:04But I'm just sitting there talking to myself.
29:07Exactly.
29:08But isn't it kind of cheesy and vulnerable?
29:10No, it's you. It's the real you.
29:12I mean, that girl in the video who's not afraid to look stupid?
29:16That's the real you.
29:19And for what it's worth, I've met your mom, and you're nothing like her.
29:24Bye.
29:25Bye?
29:39You know, I'm so sorry you're going to be stuck back here all night.
29:43You're like the wicked stepmother that's keeping you from the ball.
29:47I think my inner princess will get over it.
29:53Wow. You look fantastic. I am so glad I hired you.
30:03You know, I think I would look pretty good with a rose between my teeth.
30:08Ah!
30:09Hey, Emily!
30:13Hi, Pacey. Still burning the crepes?
30:15Yeah, it's hard to get a hand in here. You know everybody's always goofing around.
30:19Hey, I thought you weren't coming.
30:22So did I. It's kind of hard to celebrate the success of the restaurant that almost ruined your marriage.
30:27Yeah, imagine that would kind of suck.
30:30Dance with me.
30:31Anytime.
30:34You okay?
30:36Yeah. Sure. Fine.
30:39What do you care? You probably called me.
30:42Well, you know that's not true.
30:44Do I?
30:49Okay, and I know that you thought tonight was going to be your date with Desi, but I'm just trying to be a friend here, okay?
30:54Is that what you think I need, is a friend?
30:56Yeah. Because you obviously don't have too many of them.
30:59They would have already told you how badly this is going to end for you, for him, for everybody.
31:04They would have told you that things like this just—
31:06Told me what, Pacey? That married men don't leave their wives or waitresses they're sleeping with?
31:11Yeah.
31:12Thanks for the news flash.
31:18I think the worst part about it was that my mom didn't even seem to care.
31:22It's like she expected him to have missed this thing. Maybe that's why I got so mad.
31:29So, you were mad?
31:35Yeah. Yeah, I was.
31:39At your mother or at him for not signing it?
31:46At him, but I can't be mad at him right now.
31:49Sure you can. Wasn't your father mad at you?
31:53You told me he laid down the law, bought you a plane ticket.
31:57Yeah, I gave it right back to him.
31:59And you had reasons for that.
32:01Yeah, but he obviously had reasons for wanting me to go back to USC.
32:04Yes, he did. And maybe he was wrong.
32:09If he were here and we could ask him, we'd probably find out that all those reasons were more about him.
32:18His hopes. His expectations.
32:23And just because he died doesn't mean that he gets to win the argument.
32:29I remember that night. All I feel is furious.
32:39That's okay. That's how you feel.
32:47So, what do I do now?
32:50What every 18-year-old has to do.
32:54Decide what to do with your own life.
33:00What if I don't know?
33:02That's fine, too.
33:04Although, personally, I think you do know.
33:20Well, I know that this is so wrong for me
33:25Cause I'm hating just like a child
33:29Especially when you're touching me
33:32So tenderly
33:35And I want this moment
33:39To last
33:45It doesn't.
33:48Hey, Pacey, what do you want?
33:51Well, when I was running my mouth off back there, I forgot to mention one thing.
33:57You look amazing tonight.
34:03Do you ever wish you were someone else?
34:08Yeah. Harrison Ford. Raiders of the Lost Ark.
34:11No, I don't mean someone specific. I just mean someone else.
34:15Someone completely different from who you are.
34:18That's what I want right now.
34:23Well, hi. I'm Scott. And you are?
34:28I'm... I'm Marie. Nice to meet you, Scott.
34:33It's nice to meet you, too, Marie.
34:35You are, without a doubt, the single most jaw-droppingly beautiful woman in this room.
34:42And I was wondering if you would honor me with a dance.
34:47Yeah.
35:02So tell me, Marie, where are you from?
35:06Stop it, Pacey.
35:08Pacey? Who's this Pacey? I have a funny feeling I should be insulted.
35:14How can he... I mean, how can he just...
35:17You know what? Just calm down, Karen.
35:19I need to go talk to him.
35:21I think that would be a really bad idea.
35:25I don't care.
35:27Karen? What would you say to him?
35:31Seriously, what would you say?
35:39Here you go, Joey.
35:42Thank you. Sorry.
35:44We'll forgive you for brought string cheese.
35:47No? Okay, I guess I have to be there.
35:50Cassandra, you were wowing us with your theory.
35:53It's not a theory, really. Just a notion.
35:57I think whoever Rose was writing those letters to must also have been a writer.
36:03I mean, besides sex, that's practically all she talks about.
36:06Her insecurities about writing.
36:08And who cares about writing except other writers?
36:11Well, it's highly possible. Joey, agree or disagree?
36:16I strongly agree.
36:18Sounds like you have a theory of your own you'd like to share.
36:22Well, I think Rose Lazar's greatest confidant was another writer.
36:27I think she was Rose Lazar.
36:31How about it?
36:34I think she was writing the letters to herself.
36:37I think they were like a journal or a diary or a confessional of some kind
36:42because they're all about writing and there are no envelopes
36:45and there's no small talk like in all the other letters.
36:49The uninteresting ones.
36:51Right. I mean, they're all filled with references about what's going on around her.
36:56Everyday life, political events, mutual friends, publishers, editors,
37:01and these letters are all about herself.
37:04Her fears and insecurities, the real her,
37:07and I think the only person that she was brave enough to share that with was herself.
37:16Am I a total idiot?
37:18No, Joey Potter.
37:21I think that hush you're hearing is the silence of five people simultaneously asking themselves,
37:28why didn't I think of that?
37:42Kafka writes something very similar to Felice.
37:45Writing letters is like communicating with ghosts
37:48and not just the ghost of the person addressed, but with your own ghost as well.
37:53Who's Felice?
37:55Kafka's fiancee.
37:56They had this intense romance, a kind of will they wanted that went on for years.
38:00Ultimately, nothing happened.
38:09Do you really think I was right about those letters?
38:12Yours was the best idea I've heard so far.
38:15I'm not surprised. You're a freshman.
38:18Your brain is yet to be encoded with your discipline's received ideas.
38:22Well, sir, not in academic terms. I'm just too stupid to know any better.
38:26Would you settle for having an open mind?
38:29For most people in college, that's the first thing to go.
38:33Wow, I hadn't pegged you for such a hardcore cynic.
38:39I'm not.
38:42Look, it's like this.
38:45Most people, when they get to college, feel really insecure.
38:50Seems like everybody around them knows so much more,
38:53so they race to try to catch up, pretend to know things,
38:57instead of slowing down to actually learn them.
39:01Because they don't realize that the discomfort of uncertainty
39:05is the most precious part of the experience.
39:12If you can feel comfortable not knowing,
39:17you can learn anything, anything.
39:21And if not, well, then you've stopped before you've begun.
39:30Well, for a while I was feeling insecure.
39:35No.
39:37No, I just...
39:40I guess what I'm saying is,
39:44thanks for choosing me to be on this project.
39:48Thank you for sticking with it.
39:52I heard that stuff between the rest of them all.
39:55Can I ask you one more stupid question?
39:57Shoot.
39:58Who the hell is Der Da anyway?
40:01Well, let's just say if literature were the Star Wars universe,
40:05he would be like the Darth Maul.
40:19To WPCW, this is Jen Lindley,
40:23and I've been letting you people make requests for long enough now.
40:28Tonight I have a dedication of my own,
40:32this one goes out to a very old friend
40:35who's seen me at my best,
40:38and at my worst.
40:41And one night, I'm at Mercer Ponds,
40:45got a pretty good view of me and nothing at all.
41:01And then we've come.
41:08The doors are always open.
41:13There's a sunlight across the land.
41:22I know you're safe here in my hand.
41:28So let me sing to you
41:33all my sinful nights.
41:39You really got the idea from my tape?
41:45Yes.
41:48And was Wilder impressed?
41:52I don't know, I think so.
41:56How impressed?
41:59Audrey.
42:01Joey, you said you were there after everyone else left.
42:05Audrey, please shut up.
42:08You don't care that you've obviously impressed him
42:11and that he obviously thinks you're special?
42:15No.
42:18I just don't care at all.
42:25I don't care.
42:55Hey.
42:57Hey.
42:59I figured it was my turn to come visit you.
43:05What's that?
43:07It's a sample bladder of tonight's menu.
43:10I noticed you didn't really eat too much of anything at the restaurant.
43:15Here.
43:22You know, I hate you for making me say this, but
43:26thank you.
43:28For what?
43:30For this. For bringing me dinner.
43:33For listening the other night.
43:35For trying to save me when I told you not to.
43:38For not saying I told you so.
43:40That last one may be a bridge too far.
43:43I did tell you so, and I have no problem telling you that I did.
43:48You just, you kissed her.
43:50Right there in front of me, like I wasn't even there.
43:53Well, public kissing is one of the traditional benefits of marriage.
43:57I need to break it off with him.
43:59I mean, I just, I need to end this. I need to move on.
44:02Because he's obviously not going to leave her and
44:05which means we're not going anywhere.
44:09It's good.
44:13God, this is embarrassing.
44:15I'm just another single female with a distractive dating pattern.
44:18Well then do like you said. Change it.
44:20What does that even mean, change it?
44:22I mean, to what? To you?
44:28Sorry.
44:30Just dig in, okay?
44:33Do you want to join me?
44:36I might even have a table under there somewhere.
44:39Sure.
44:41Hi, this is Karen. If you want me to know who you are, I suggest you leave a message.
44:48Hey, it's me.
44:50So, you left.
44:53I can't say I blame you.
44:56God, what a mess, Karen.
44:58I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
45:00My life is so complicated.
45:05Complicated right now.
45:07And I'm sorry that you're stuck in the middle of it.
45:10I know that that means practically nothing to you.
45:13And I know that you just want to punch me in the face.
45:15And you have every right to.
45:17But I love you, Karen.
45:20I really do.
45:22In ways big and small.
45:27I never wanted you to get hurt.
45:31Please.
45:32Karen, if you're there, pick up. Please.
45:35I just want to talk. I just want to know you're alright.
45:46You still up?
45:49If I don't keep reading, I'll wind up only speaking baby talk.
45:56Oh, you've got a meal.
45:59What is it?
46:00I don't know. Open it up.
46:02Let's see.
46:14I've seen you at one of the film festivals in New Hampshire.
46:19It's really bizarre because I've never entered a film festival in New Hampshire.
46:25No, but your father did.
46:27Yep, he wasn't very good with little details, but he always believed in you.
46:39I'm not going back to USC.
46:42Okay.
46:44Okay?
46:46The last thing I want you to do is go back to a school that you don't like
46:49out of some misplaced desire to honor your father's memory.
46:53But he was so sad about my going back there.
46:56He wasn't ready to give up on the dream, but he would have.
47:01You had your reasons for leaving.
47:04You don't want him over.
47:07No, honey, under all that gluster and concern, he knew it was your decision to make.
47:26I miss him.
47:35So do I.
47:40He could be so old.
47:42I know.
47:44I know he couldn't make a PB&J without getting jelly in the peanut butter jar.
47:49He would never refuse to buy socks.
47:53He would just put them on.
48:00I loved him.
48:03I know.
48:08Me too.
48:15I love you.
48:45I love you.