Nothing Personal (1980) Comedy Romance

Retro Kid

This romantic comedy revolves around a talented and dedicated lawyer ( Suzanne Somers) and her client ( Donald Sutherland ), and their fight to save the endangered species of seals

Transcript

00:00:00Look, I know Peter may run around all day and night fighting for lost causes, and he

00:00:14doesn't give a damn about the law of the land, whatever that is, but what's the difference?

00:00:18Legal or illegal, when the hell did you start caring about what was legal or not?

00:00:22What's right that counts, and you know that.

00:00:24What do I care about what any of the kids in this college think about what Peter thinks?

00:00:28Peter's the only one who cares.

00:00:29The only one who cares about what life is like, still like, on this planet.

00:00:33Damn it, the rest of them are all a bunch of mush.

00:00:35Boy, has it changed.

00:00:36You remember when we were in graduate school at Berkeley together?

00:00:38You remember what it was like then?

00:00:39We were different.

00:00:40We were angry.

00:00:41We were alive.

00:00:42We hated the right things.

00:00:44We hated the Army.

00:00:45We hated our parents.

00:00:46We hated the goddamn CIA.

00:00:48But we fought.

00:00:49We fought.

00:00:50We made it better.

00:00:51You remember the time we got bombed?

00:00:52Remember the time we got bombed?

00:00:53Don't laugh.

00:00:54You remember.

00:00:56And we sent that telegram to J. Edgar Hoover telling him what we thought he was?

00:00:59We didn't sign it, but we sent it.

00:01:01That took guts.

00:01:02And then the next morning, while we still felt the same way,

00:01:04went down to the goddamn Bank of America and closed out our savings accounts

00:01:08and went on the street and tore the checks into a thousand pieces and threw them in the air?

00:01:12I don't know what happened in the last ten years.

00:01:13You're going to tell me, maybe.

00:01:14Maybe you'll tell me what the hell happened in the last ten years in America.

00:01:17But it's different.

00:01:18There are no rebels left.

00:01:19I don't know where they're going to come from, the new ones.

00:01:21We had to sell out.

00:01:22Yeah, I know that.

00:01:23I know we had to.

00:01:24We had to.

00:01:25I had to.

00:01:26I had to.

00:01:27I got married.

00:01:28I had three kids.

00:01:29I had to support them.

00:01:30What choice did I have?

00:01:31What choice did any of us have?

00:01:32But that's no reason for the kids being like what they are today.

00:01:33That's no excuse.

00:01:34Who's going to come and fight the battles if nobody's angry anymore?

00:01:37Everybody's just mushy kids walking.

00:01:39What are you smoking that shit for, for Christ's sakes?

00:01:43It's how I prepare for my classes.

00:01:47They are killing seals out in Dawson Bay.

00:01:51What are you laughing at?

00:01:52They're laughing because for the past three semesters,

00:01:54you've broken into this room maybe 20 times

00:01:56with some earth-shattering announcement about the imminent death of the American Dream.

00:02:00Yes.

00:02:01This last month, it was all the garbage floating in the Mississippi River that was killing the shrimp.

00:02:05And yesterday, it was the rumor that someone found bacteria in two cans of chicken noodle soup in Gary, Indiana.

00:02:10Yeah.

00:02:11At this time, I saw it, okay?

00:02:13Peter, this class is about that which is legal.

00:02:16About the nature and workings of the law under our constitutional guarantee.

00:02:20Seals do not concern us here.

00:02:22What is happening to them out there is not illegal.

00:02:24It is illegal.

00:02:25No, it is not illegal, Peter.

00:02:27These are not harp seals out in Newfoundland.

00:02:29These are chihuahua seals.

00:02:31They're an endangered species.

00:02:32There are perhaps 1,000 of them left in existence.

00:02:35All right, if they're an endangered species, then they're protected under the law.

00:02:39If you'd been here at the beginning of the class, you would have had an opportunity to read this.

00:02:43Chief Justice Holmes, 1912.

00:02:45Rich man, poor man, bigger man, thief.

00:02:48All are equal in the eyes of the law, including seals.

00:02:54Okay, better get proof.

00:02:57Okay, I'll see you next week.

00:02:59I can get proof.

00:03:04Peter!

00:03:07When did you shoot this?

00:03:09The night before last.

00:03:11Yesterday, they were out there bashing away.

00:03:13They'll be out there tonight, too.

00:03:15Finally got the foreman to tell us what it was all about.

00:03:18They're building an air force base up there.

00:03:20A huge one.

00:03:22What are they killing the seals for?

00:03:24They think the seals will get in the way.

00:03:26You know, breeding on the runways or something.

00:03:29Jesus, look at them.

00:03:31You can't do it. It's against the law.

00:03:34If they're an endangered species, those animals are protected under the law.

00:03:37Well, how can we stop them?

00:03:39I guess it's up to me. I'm so mad, I'm ready to go to Washington.

00:03:42Geez, when?

00:03:45What about your classes here?

00:03:47I'll talk to the dean.

00:03:50Old blade out, new blade in.

00:03:53Ah, empty.

00:03:55What do you suggest we do about the seals, sir?

00:03:58I suggest you get on a plane and go to Washington.

00:04:01Look at this damn thing.

00:04:03You ever stop to think that the manufacturers of these damn things don't want us to open them?

00:04:09But you're wrong about the senator.

00:04:11If I were you, I'd start with the military.

00:04:14Now, stand back.

00:04:17Unbelievable.

00:04:19Hardly. Simple goddamn plot to make us buy more razor blades.

00:04:24Well, don't just stand there. Go home and get packed. Get on a plane.

00:04:28Sir, I can afford to fly to Washington?

00:04:30Roger, the school will pay for your trip.

00:04:32Terrific, thank you.

00:04:33On one condition. You stop on the plane.

00:04:36On one condition. You stop off in Canton, Ohio on your way back here and get these dirty bastards too.

00:05:36Good evening.

00:05:38Can I help you?

00:05:39I hope so. I need a room for a couple of days. I'm Professor Roger Keller.

00:05:43Professor? Good.

00:05:45Now, I need a ten-letter word beginning with L and ending with S, meaning talkative.

00:05:51Loquacious?

00:05:52Loquacious.

00:05:54Yes, that fits rather nicely.

00:05:56I'm a professor.

00:05:57I'm a professor.

00:05:58I'm a professor.

00:05:59I'm a professor.

00:06:00I'm a professor.

00:06:01I'm a professor.

00:06:02I'm a professor.

00:06:03I'm a professor.

00:06:04Yes, that fits rather nicely.

00:06:06Now, how about a nine-letter word?

00:06:08How about a room? Bill at the airport sent me.

00:06:11Bill? My nephew, Bill.

00:06:13On the border?

00:06:14A lawyer in two years? Why didn't you say so?

00:06:17Professor, I'm going to give you the best room in the hotel. Room four.

00:06:22George Wallace lived there during the Civil Rights March about eight years ago.

00:06:25It has a rather remarkable view of the Jefferson Memorial.

00:06:28Truly?

00:06:29Mm-hmm.

00:06:30You know, Thomas Jefferson sat in a hotel room in Philadelphia, and in one weekend, he wrote the Declaration of Independence.

00:06:36Without air conditioning or room separates.

00:06:39Absolutely.

00:06:42The law you've mentioned, Professor, specifically allows us to seek out and destroy wildlife of any kind in case of a national emergency.

00:06:50I wasn't aware that we had a national emergency situation, Colonel.

00:06:55What is our national emergency?

00:06:57Chinese ICBMs.

00:06:59I mean Russian ICBMs.

00:07:01Chinese.

00:07:03Oh, come on, Colonel. Haven't you read the newspapers?

00:07:05We're in love with the Chinese.

00:07:07They're sending us ping-pong players and acrobats, and we're sending them Elton John and Coca-Cola.

00:07:12They're just buying time, Professor.

00:07:17Look, that's China, taken from one of our spy satellites 200 miles in the air.

00:07:23If you look closely, you can see the ICBM bases.

00:07:30I don't see anything. Where?

00:07:34There. The tiny black dot there in the lower left-hand corner.

00:07:39Wait. I'll magnify it 50 times.

00:07:48That's an ICBM base?

00:07:50It will be in two years.

00:07:52You can tell that just from a tiny black dot?

00:07:54Yes. Absolutely.

00:07:59Wait. I'll make it even bigger.

00:08:04Now what do you see?

00:08:07A bigger black dot.

00:08:10Well, it's an ICBM base.

00:08:13They've got the missiles, and soon they'll have the hardware to deliver them 12,000 miles.

00:08:18I don't believe it.

00:08:19Look.

00:08:21We are here.

00:08:24Tacoma, Seattle, Dawson.

00:08:28Dawson is 800 miles to the north.

00:08:31800 miles at 18,000 miles per hour is 10.2 seconds more for us to prepare an anti-ballistic missile counterattack.

00:08:41Come on, Colonel. Come on.

00:08:4510.2 seconds.

00:08:47Chinese ICBMs.

00:08:50National emergency.

00:08:53I accept that it's not a national emergency.

00:08:56But by the time I convince my friends in the club here, that fact and the damn seals will be dead anyway.

00:09:01So, what's the point?

00:09:03The point is, Senator, they're breaking the law.

00:09:05You can't condone a conscious conspiracy to break the law.

00:09:08Oh, damn. Damn it, Roger. I don't.

00:09:10Senator, then bring it up on the Senate floor this afternoon.

00:09:13Roger, try to look at things in their proper perspective.

00:09:17Now, in our state, unemployment is over 13% right now.

00:09:22Now, this Dawson project the Air Force is trying to build, it's a tremendous thing.

00:09:27It's absolutely tremendous. It's a whole city.

00:09:30It'll put more than 10,000 people to work.

00:09:33The Republicans will have my ass in November.

00:09:35The Republicans will have my ass in November.

00:09:37If I say 10,000 people can't work because of a few damn seals...

00:09:42Well, then get them to move the base.

00:09:44Well, can't we move the damn animals?

00:09:46Senator, they've been breeding there for centuries.

00:09:48That's the only piece of flat coastline for 200 miles.

00:09:53You know, maybe intelligence knows more than we do.

00:09:55Maybe there is a national emergency.

00:09:58Come on, Senator.

00:10:00China's going to attack us?

00:10:03China is our friend.

00:10:06You look just like Shirley MacLaine when you said that.

00:10:10What?

00:10:22Yes, yes, I'm here.

00:10:23Mr. Paxton, can you come right up, please?

00:10:25I've got a little problem.

00:10:27Right away.

00:10:28I thought you'd never ask.

00:10:33Come in, Mr. Paxton.

00:10:37Thank you.

00:10:39I've got a list of the top ones right here.

00:10:41Could you call one for me, please?

00:10:43Which one?

00:10:44I don't know, whichever one's the best one.

00:10:46No, no, it should be your choice, Professor.

00:10:48Well, it's your bathroom, Mr. Paxton.

00:10:50Why do you want a lawyer for my bathroom?

00:10:53I don't want a lawyer, I want a plumber.

00:10:55Plumber?

00:10:56Plumber.

00:10:57Plumber.

00:10:58Plumber.

00:10:59I don't want a lawyer, I want a plumber.

00:11:02Plumber?

00:11:03Yeah, the bathtub's overflowing.

00:11:04I went to take a bath this morning and I couldn't turn the tap off.

00:11:07Of course you couldn't turn it off.

00:11:10I didn't know that.

00:11:11Well, it says so on a nice tight note I left in your medicine cabinet.

00:11:15I didn't look in the medicine cabinet.

00:11:17Why not?

00:11:18Well, I wasn't sick, I was just dirty.

00:11:21Why didn't you call a plumber?

00:11:25What?

00:11:26So when I accidentally overheard on the switchboard that you had trouble with that colonel and the senator,

00:11:32I called Bill at the airport and he gave me the names of some big heavyweight type lawyers.

00:11:38That's what you need, Professor, to help you save those seals.

00:11:42A good lawyer.

00:11:45Look, Professor, I'm a gambler and I love to play the long shots.

00:11:50You see, they want to buy this place.

00:11:52They've been trying to buy it for the past ten years.

00:11:54Well, just once, before I sell, I'd like to have me a winner.

00:11:59A one thousand and one shot, like you, Professor.

00:12:11Well, I guess we should start with Critchet, Douglas and Levy, eh?

00:12:16I'll give them a call.

00:12:18Okay.

00:12:24Mr. McClain.

00:12:26Little baby seals and their mothers.

00:12:30They're so awful.

00:12:33Man's cruelty is unbelievable at times, Josh.

00:12:35I told Professor Keller not to worry about the retainer,

00:12:38that we handled the defense for the Chicago 7,

00:12:40the Philadelphia 6 who tried to blow up the Liberty Bell,

00:12:43and the St. Louis 10, all for practically nothing.

00:12:46Yes, well, someday, just for fun, let's handle the Indianapolis 500.

00:12:51I hear they pay much better.

00:12:53Oh, it's all right, Josh. You did the right thing.

00:12:57We'll stop the bastards.

00:13:01Who'd you say was building the base for the Air Force?

00:13:03Dunbar.

00:13:04The Dunbar Construction Company?

00:13:06Yes, sir.

00:13:08You idiot.

00:13:09We haven't got a chance against them in court.

00:13:12They're handled by the best damn law firm in the country.

00:13:15But we're the best damn law firm in the country, Dad.

00:13:18Everyone knows that.

00:13:23You represent Dunbar Construction.

00:13:27Well, thank you very much.

00:13:29See you in court. Sorry.

00:13:32How about Jackson, Reynolds and Doberman?

00:13:35Jackson, Reynolds and Doberman are excellent.

00:13:38If I'm seeking a divorce.

00:13:39How about Townsend and Dibble?

00:13:41Perfect. If I've cheated on my income tax?

00:13:43Holtzman, do that one right.

00:13:45If I decide to rape someone, they're waiting to help.

00:13:49I'm sorry.

00:13:50I'm sorry, too, Mr. Paxton.

00:13:52Tomorrow, I'll call Bill and get some more names.

00:13:54No, thank you. No more names.

00:13:57No, I know exactly who I'm looking for now,

00:13:59and I've developed a brilliant analytical method of finding him.

00:14:04Attorney C. Lawyers.

00:14:07Lawyers.

00:14:10Martins Adams.

00:14:14A. Adams.

00:14:17Now, he sounds just right, doesn't he?

00:14:20It's against the law.

00:14:22You're damn right it's against the law.

00:14:26Do you think I could see the lawyer now?

00:14:28You're talking to her, Professor.

00:14:32You're A. Adams?

00:14:34I'm Abigail Adams.

00:14:36You're the attorney?

00:14:37Yeah. See?

00:14:39No.

00:14:40Cornell undergraduate, 1969, magna cum laude.

00:14:44Yeah, you're the lawyer.

00:14:45Harvard Law School, 1973.

00:14:47Passed my bar exams on the very first trial.

00:14:49Well, congratulations.

00:14:51Do you have a yellow page that I could look at?

00:14:54Oh, sure.

00:14:59I'm sorry, Ms. Adams, but I think that I'm going to have to...

00:15:02You're not even going to give me a chance?

00:15:04Well, Ms. Adams, I need someone with a little bit more experience than you have.

00:15:08I'm experienced. I am experienced.

00:15:11You know, Ms. Adams...

00:15:12I have spent the last five years preparing pleadings,

00:15:14filing briefs, and doing research in the back room

00:15:16for firms like Pritchett, Douglas, and Levy,

00:15:18waiting for someone to trust me in a courtroom with their wife's speeding ticket.

00:15:22You guys are all the same, aren't you?

00:15:24Come on, Ms. Adams. It doesn't have to do with any of that.

00:15:26I'm trying to protect those poor, helpless animals

00:15:29from the combined power and influence of the United States Army,

00:15:32the United States Senate...

00:15:33Goddammit, Professor, I may be a woman. I'm aware of that.

00:15:35It doesn't have anything to do with you being a woman.

00:15:37But I know that I can handle this case as well or better

00:15:39than any of these Washington lawyers.

00:15:41In fact, probably better.

00:15:42Well, maybe.

00:15:43I'm more motivated.

00:15:44I cost less.

00:15:45And most important of all...

00:15:46Ms. Adams...

00:15:47I've got ten times the hours to give to it.

00:15:49Ms. Adams...

00:15:50Come on, you don't need to be so formal.

00:15:51You can call me Abigail or you can call me Abby.

00:15:54I'll call you Roger,

00:15:55being that we're going to be working together so closely.

00:15:58Abigail?

00:15:59Yes, Roger.

00:16:00See? Isn't that better?

00:16:05It's quarter to six.

00:16:09I'm going to go home, Abigail,

00:16:11and think about this because it's a new departure.

00:16:14And then I will call you first thing in the morning, okay?

00:16:18Right.

00:16:19Okay, I'll call you first thing in the morning.

00:16:20Right.

00:16:21Bye.

00:16:22Sure.

00:16:23Sure you'll call.

00:16:32Will this be Anderson?

00:16:33No, just down the hall.

00:16:34Thank you.

00:16:42Good morning.

00:16:43After Adams is Agassan,

00:16:45even slowly, but they only handle the probate stuff.

00:16:48Then there's Allen, Johnson, and Rucker,

00:16:50strictly mergers.

00:16:51Mergers.

00:16:52And then Anderson, Louis B.

00:16:53Did you know I've been standing here since 8.30 this morning?

00:16:56I called you at 8.30 this morning.

00:16:58To tell me to forget it?

00:16:59I would have phrased it a little more gently.

00:17:01Did you know that the Dunbar Construction Company

00:17:03is a Delaware corporation

00:17:04that profits last year after taxes,

00:17:06$125,255,000?

00:17:09Did you know that their executive offices

00:17:11are located in Philadelphia?

00:17:13Did you know that they are extremely sensitive

00:17:15about their public image?

00:17:16In fact, last year they canceled $3 million worth

00:17:18of network advertising on a cop show

00:17:20because the PTA thought it was too violent?

00:17:22How did you find out all this about Dunbar?

00:17:25I researched it last night while waiting for my phone call.

00:17:28I just wanted to give it one last shot.

00:17:32You can go on inside.

00:17:33He's a good man.

00:17:34I took a course with him at Harvard.

00:17:35It's the only C I ever got.

00:17:38What else do you know?

00:17:40For a company that's building a missile base

00:17:42aimed at China, it sure seems strange

00:17:44that they just opened a sales office in Shanghai.

00:17:49Abigail,

00:17:51let me ask you one question, okay?

00:17:54All right, but let me ask you one first, okay?

00:17:57Okay.

00:17:58If you let me handle this case,

00:18:00I'm not going to charge you anything

00:18:01because I know you don't have any money,

00:18:03but if I win, you've got to tell everybody

00:18:05that the fee was $25,000.

00:18:07Is that fair?

00:18:08Yes, Abigail.

00:18:09$25,000 is more than fair.

00:18:12Good.

00:18:13Now I can let you in on some of the heavy stuff.

00:18:16Dunbar contributed over a half million dollars

00:18:18to the Nixon re-election slush fund,

00:18:20and last week, they fired one of their vice presidents

00:18:23when he announced over lunch,

00:18:24TWA Flight 527, Chicago to New York,

00:18:27that he was divorcing his wife

00:18:28and coming out of the closet

00:18:29with one of the boys from the mailroom.

00:18:31Good.

00:18:32Now, do you think Dunbar's position can be shaken?

00:18:34And if so, specifically, how?

00:18:36Specifically?

00:18:37Mm-hmm.

00:18:38$23.19.

00:18:40Go on.

00:18:41I purchased one share of Dunbar Commons stock

00:18:44in your name yesterday.

00:18:46Congratulations.

00:18:48You're now a shareholder

00:18:49in the 29th largest corporation in the United States.

00:18:53I would have given you an A.

00:18:54Yeah? Thanks.

00:18:56Taxi!

00:18:58Dulles Airport, please.

00:19:05Where are we going?

00:19:06Philadelphia.

00:19:08You don't want to go home and pack?

00:19:10What for?

00:19:11I don't know.

00:19:12We might want to stay over or something.

00:19:13We might want to change a bunch of things.

00:19:16Roger, this is 1979.

00:19:191979, you don't change your underthings.

00:19:22No, I mean, I don't wear any.

00:19:27Can I continue?

00:19:29So, we go there and we talk to the Dunbar people.

00:19:32You know where they stand in their public image.

00:19:34And before we try to legally enjoin them,

00:19:36maybe we can somehow...

00:19:38Oh, Roger.

00:19:40Do you think you could stop thinking about the fact

00:19:42that there's a girl sitting next to you

00:19:44who's not wearing any underthings and listen to me?

00:19:46I was listening.

00:19:47Before we, uh, legally enjoin them...

00:19:50We'll tell them that it's bad public relations

00:19:53to completely wipe out an endangered species.

00:19:56And maybe we can embarrass them into convincing the military

00:19:58to move their base a little to the north or to the south.

00:20:01It's worth a try.

00:20:04What do you sleep in?

00:20:09Oh, geez.

00:20:12Driver, could you make a left at the next light,

00:20:1528 Vermont Avenue?

00:20:17Where are we going? Won't we miss the plane?

00:20:19Eh, we'll take a train.

00:20:23I wore this outfit for you, but I think for them

00:20:26we should look a little more respectable, don't you?

00:20:28We? I don't look respectable.

00:20:31You look stuffy. There's a difference.

00:20:37This is terrific.

00:20:39Just terrific. It's amazing the kind of work

00:20:41you can get done under pressure.

00:20:43I mean, usually I take, like, a week to prepare a lecture.

00:20:46This is... This is too embarrassing.

00:20:48That's embarrassing.

00:20:50Did you know I once thought I was in love

00:20:52with a man from Philadelphia?

00:20:54I almost married him.

00:20:56Can you imagine marrying a man from Philadelphia?

00:20:59Yeah.

00:21:01His favorite television shows were

00:21:03The Dating Game and Tom Snyder.

00:21:05What we should do is, when we get into the station,

00:21:07we should telephone him right away.

00:21:09Telephone him and make an appointment with him.

00:21:11When we'd go to a restaurant and he'd order a steak

00:21:13and the waiter would say, how would you like your steak?

00:21:15He'd say, mooing.

00:21:17Mooing?

00:21:19I tried for three months to get him to say very rare,

00:21:22but he would still say mooing.

00:21:24And then he'd make it sound like a cow

00:21:26right there in the restaurant.

00:21:28You know, if we're lucky,

00:21:30we can probably get it all done this afternoon.

00:21:32We'll stick our luggage in the luggage locker.

00:21:34We don't have to rent a motel.

00:21:37You know, I just want to tell you something.

00:21:39Uh-huh.

00:21:41As you get to know me better, you're just...

00:21:43You're going to find that I am really a lot more human

00:21:45than I appear to be as...

00:21:47I mean, as a woman.

00:21:49I am not dependent,

00:21:51but I am vulnerable.

00:21:55What's that supposed to mean?

00:21:57It means I just got a horny sitting next to you.

00:22:00It's a train.

00:22:02A train?

00:22:04Yeah.

00:22:05A train. Vibration.

00:22:07Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo.

00:22:10Ooh.

00:22:12That's what it is.

00:22:28Oh, as I thought.

00:22:53So this is Dawson Bay

00:22:55as it would appear today.

00:22:57As you can see, blue skies, mountains, green hills,

00:23:01a river, a beach.

00:23:03Nice, but a little ho-hum.

00:23:06Now, out of that wilderness is Dunbar's projected community

00:23:11of the future, which I think is very exciting.

00:23:14We have homes here now running from $49,999 to $79,999,

00:23:21depending upon the location, the view, the extras,

00:23:24the cul-de-sacs.

00:23:26The sewers are a part of the package.

00:23:29Well, let me go straight to my favorite part.

00:23:31On the northeast edge of the town here,

00:23:33you see, that will be the largest shopping

00:23:35center in the state.

00:23:37I think that's pretty exciting, don't you?

00:23:42What did you say your business was?

00:23:44I'm a teacher.

00:23:47A teacher.

00:23:48There are the elementary schools.

00:23:51And as you can see, they're only a half a mile apart.

00:23:54And we planned that intentionally

00:23:56to avoid any kind of future busing problems,

00:23:58not that we anticipate any with the price of the homes,

00:24:02if you know what I mean.

00:24:04Isn't that wonderful, honey?

00:24:07Here is the high school.

00:24:13That should illuminate.

00:24:15There it is, at any rate.

00:24:17That's been approved by the Board of Education.

00:24:21Little lady, how about you?

00:24:22Are you a housewife or a homemaker?

00:24:24I hate that word, housewife.

00:24:27I'm a lawyer.

00:24:28A lawyer?

00:24:30Oh, my gosh, that must be very interesting work.

00:24:32Well, it's just something to keep

00:24:35me busy till I have some kids.

00:24:37As God intended.

00:24:40Yeah.

00:24:41Here's the professional building.

00:24:43Now, we have 16 offices still available in this building.

00:24:46You must stop killing the chihuahua seals in Dawson Bay.

00:24:50Excuse me?

00:24:52He said you must stop killing chihuahua seals in Dawson Bay.

00:24:58This Dawson Bay?

00:25:10Harold, I mean, please, I need to tell you the truth.

00:25:14I didn't know any animals were even being killed.

00:25:17Five nights a week for the past two weeks.

00:25:20In another 10 hours, they'll be at it again up there.

00:25:23Well, no, no, they won't.

00:25:24And I can promise you that.

00:25:25There'll be no more seals getting

00:25:27their heads bashed in at Dawson.

00:25:28Are you serious?

00:25:29Oh, yeah.

00:25:30Oh, God, thank you.

00:25:31Thank you.

00:25:31That's inhuman.

00:25:32Baseball.

00:25:33Baseball bats.

00:25:34To me, that's cruel.

00:25:36I think what they're going to have to do

00:25:37is just come up with a more humane way of disposing of them.

00:25:40Here, let me get you another drink.

00:25:42Sidney.

00:25:43Wait a minute.

00:25:44Wait a minute.

00:25:45You understand, it's not how they're killed that matters.

00:25:49It's that they're being killed at all, you dumb bastard.

00:25:52It doesn't matter.

00:25:52I've got to make this asshole understand.

00:25:54You've got to stop killing the seals.

00:25:56You, now.

00:25:57You're breaking the law.

00:25:59I'm not killing anything.

00:26:00Well, your company is, you dumb son of a bitch.

00:26:02Two statuettes.

00:26:03You must stop them.

00:26:05What?

00:26:06Stop them.

00:26:07I don't make decisions like that.

00:26:09Well, then take me to somebody who does.

00:26:10The president, the vice president, somebody.

00:26:12The president or the vice president.

00:26:13They happen to be unavailable.

00:26:14Well, when will they be available?

00:26:15I don't know.

00:26:16They're in a stockholders meeting today or tomorrow.

00:26:17Where?

00:26:18Stockholders, Roger.

00:26:19That's even better.

00:26:20Why?

00:26:20Because you're a stockholder, remember?

00:26:23Oh, God.

00:26:23Oh, yeah.

00:26:24Thank you, Tom.

00:26:25Come on, Roger. Let's get out of here.

00:26:26I'm really sorry.

00:26:28I'm not a violent person.

00:26:29Yeah, right.

00:26:30No, forget it.

00:26:30This is called a fun afternoon.

00:26:32Forget the whole thing.

00:26:32We have to do it again sometime.

00:26:33OK, thanks. Let's get out of here.

00:26:35Roger.

00:26:35Next time, I'll wear a turtleneck.

00:26:44Abigail?

00:26:46Come in.

00:26:46I finished the presentation for tomorrow.

00:26:48You're in bed?

00:26:50You noticed.

00:26:51Well, that's the beginning.

00:26:55Well, you wanted to read it.

00:26:56What do you want me to do with it?

00:26:58You could make it into a paper airplane

00:27:00and sail off to the moon.

00:27:02Close your eyes and look at the sky.

00:27:06I have a lot of work to do.

00:27:08I have a lot of work to do.

00:27:11You could make it into a paper airplane and sail it over here to me.

00:27:15Or you could take five giant steps and hand it to me.

00:27:18Or I could hop over to you and get it.

00:27:20Oh, I can't do that. I tied my ankles together with a pair of shoelaces.

00:27:24Oh, yeah?

00:27:25Well, you see, it's a promise I made to my mother when I left home.

00:27:27You know, in case some insane rapist should break through the door and want to have his way with me.

00:27:34And the shoelaces will prevent that, eh?

00:27:36Unless he decides to turn me over.

00:27:42You can sit on the bed.

00:27:44I'm all right, Abigail.

00:27:46Oh, come on, Roger.

00:27:48Didn't your mother tell you you actually have to touch a girl to get that disease?

00:27:55That's it. We're engaged.

00:27:59You want to know something?

00:28:01You want to know when you liberated people what truly belonged to you?

00:28:05You want to know?

00:28:07You want to know something?

00:28:08You want to know when you liberated people what truly be liberated for the first time?

00:28:12The real breakthrough?

00:28:14When you finally realize that your pussy is not the most important part of you to a man.

00:28:19It's terrific and all that, but it's not the most important thing.

00:28:23Huh?

00:28:25And I know you know it up there in your head.

00:28:27But when you finally realize it in your gut,

00:28:30that's when you'll be rid of all that poison your mummy fed you.

00:28:34Read it.

00:28:36Come on, read it.

00:28:43You know what would really make that presentation work?

00:28:47If those people could just see the photographs that Peter took.

00:28:52I should have had them blown up. That's what I should have done.

00:28:55What time is it?

00:28:571.15.

00:29:00What are you doing?

00:29:03I'm going to get you your blow-up.

00:29:11Hello, Marty. Did I wake you?

00:29:14Good.

00:29:17What do you mean, who is this?

00:29:20Remember, happy...

00:29:24Remember, happy...

00:29:31I knew you'd remember.

00:29:34Still a record?

00:29:37Thank you.

00:29:40Listen, Marty, I need a favor desperately by tomorrow morning.

00:29:44Yeah.

00:29:47Good.

00:29:50I'll be over in five minutes.

00:29:53What did you hang up for?

00:29:55I just remembered. I can't let him help me, damn it.

00:29:57Why not?

00:29:59That great lecture you just gave me on women's sexuality.

00:30:02Oh, I feel so inferior again.

00:30:04What are you talking about?

00:30:07Well...

00:30:10Instead of using my brains to get poor Marty out of bed at one in the morning,

00:30:14I used my...

00:30:17I can't even say the word.

00:30:20Pussy. Pussy.

00:30:23Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy.

00:30:27Go on, call him back. Pussy.

00:30:36Oh, Roger.

00:30:40You're so easy.

00:30:43Just if I can be permitted to speak without interference.

00:30:47Well, yeah, that's...

00:30:49That's guaranteed under the bylaws of the corporation anyway.

00:30:52Any stockholder... Excuse me. Bob.

00:30:55Hey, Thomas. Good morning.

00:30:57Good morning to you. How are you, sir? I'm fine.

00:30:59I'd like you to meet Professor Roger Keller.

00:31:01This is the president of the company. This is Bob Ralston.

00:31:03It's a pleasure, Roger. A pleasure.

00:31:05Tom was filling me in this morning about the seal business up at Dawson.

00:31:08And he told me how strongly you felt about it.

00:31:11Don't worry about it. The problem is I had no idea what was going on up there.

00:31:15No idea at all.

00:31:17Well, Bob, Roger would like to say a few words about that at the meeting this morning.

00:31:20But he's a little bit concerned that somebody might do something to prevent it.

00:31:23Wait, wait, wait. Prevent it? No, no. On the contrary.

00:31:26We want to hear all about it. The complete story, Roger.

00:31:29Let's bring it out in the open where it belongs, right?

00:31:32That's wonderful. Okay, I've got to run.

00:31:34See you inside, Roger? Tom?

00:31:36Oh, right behind you, Bob.

00:31:42Hi. I thought you'd never get here.

00:31:45We had trouble mounting.

00:31:47I know what you mean.

00:31:49Roger, Roger, this is Marty.

00:31:52Hi, Marty. This is just wonderful.

00:31:55I don't know how to thank you for it.

00:31:57I already did years ago.

00:31:59I'm sure you did.

00:32:02This company does what you say it must do because you own this company.

00:32:07It's your decision.

00:32:10Well, I've said all I have to say.

00:32:12You've seen the photographs. You know what happens up there.

00:32:14The rest is up to your own individual consciences.

00:32:17Thank you.

00:32:29I move that we, in all possible haste,

00:32:33I move that we, in all possible haste,

00:32:36suspend operations on our Dawson Bay project

00:32:41until some method is devised to support and save these remaining SEALs.

00:32:52Do I have a seconder for that?

00:32:54Professor. Professor, please.

00:32:57Wow.

00:33:00I think we all agree that that was a very moving presentation by Professor Keller.

00:33:07Unfortunately, though, we are not here today to vote on any resolutions.

00:33:13As a matter of fact, that's forbidden by the bylaws of the corporation, any such action,

00:33:20unless previously provided for by the...

00:33:23Unless presented for extraordinary conditions, Mr. Dickerson, page 64, paragraph 4.

00:33:29Where life is at risk, a vote may be taken on a motion presented on the floor by any stockholder.

00:33:34It's right here in your pamphlet.

00:33:40That's human life, Miss Adams.

00:33:44You are all part of a conspiracy to help destroy these poor, helpless creatures.

00:33:48Miss Adams, inasmuch as you are not a stockholder here,

00:33:51I'm going to have to ask you to relinquish the microphone.

00:33:53I will not relinquish the microphone. I am a legal representative...

00:33:56You ought to have been better at it!

00:33:58She's right! You are a monster!

00:34:02Breaking the law for a few bucks.

00:34:04How you are? Mind what you use, Francis?

00:34:06My name is Henry, not Francis.

00:34:09My wife's name is Francis. I'm wearing her pin because I lost mine.

00:34:12She's gone shopping today.

00:34:14Oh.

00:34:15And if that guard touches that girl, I'm coming up on that platform

00:34:20to give you a couple of black eyes, Tom Dickerson.

00:34:29Ladies and gentlemen.

00:34:31Ladies and gentlemen, please. We have a lot to do today.

00:34:36Ladies and gentlemen, could I have your attention, please?

00:34:40Guard, that's not necessary.

00:34:42Guard, that's not necessary.

00:34:45The charming lady does have a point.

00:34:48Tom, you have to admit that she is charming now.

00:34:54Well, I don't think anyone's questioning that, Bob.

00:34:57Now, we must not quibble about technicalities.

00:35:01Not with family.

00:35:03Now, obviously, something important is at stake here,

00:35:06and Tom, I think...

00:35:08I think we should have a vote on it.

00:35:11All right.

00:35:15Please, now, would the gray-haired gentleman at table four

00:35:20please repeat your motion?

00:35:23Thank you.

00:35:25I move that we, in all possible haste,

00:35:27suspend operations at the Dawson Bay Project

00:35:31until at least some method is devised

00:35:34to protect the seals that are still there.

00:35:37Yes.

00:35:42If I may, if I may,

00:35:45I would like very much to second this motion.

00:35:56A motion has been made and seconded

00:35:58that we suspend operations on the Dawson Bay Project

00:36:01until such time as a method is devised

00:36:04to protect the remaining seals.

00:36:06All those in favor say aye.

00:36:08Aye.

00:36:09Aye.

00:36:12All those opposed?

00:36:36My name...

00:36:38My name...

00:36:40My name is Ralph Henry Emerson.

00:36:45There are 280 million shares of Dunbar Common stock.

00:36:51And I hold the proxies to 279,990,117 of them.

00:36:59And my vote is no.

00:37:01The motion to suspend operations on the Dawson Bay Project

00:37:04is herewith voted down.

00:37:09The next order of business

00:37:11is the proposed increase in the stock options

00:37:15of the executives.

00:37:17That, of course, will be followed

00:37:20by the complimentary Chicken a la King luncheon

00:37:25with the iced tea and...

00:37:28That was a wonderful speech you gave.

00:37:36You know, it's too bad it isn't 40 years ago

00:37:40because then when they made the movie about your life

00:37:43Jimmy Stewart could have played you.

00:37:47Mmm, I love Malamore cookies.

00:37:51You know, it's a shame that Jimmy Stewart

00:37:54Mmm, I love Malamore cookies.

00:37:59Would you like me to keep quiet?

00:38:03Yes, please.

00:38:11It's not me, is it?

00:38:14No, no, it's me.

00:38:24I forgot I've got a racquetball game in the afternoon

00:38:27with Tom Jameson.

00:38:29In Juneau?

00:38:34And I'm supposed to go to Canton, Ohio.

00:38:45Abigail, I've got something I'd like to talk to you about.

00:38:52I don't think I want to hear it.

00:38:55I don't think we can beat them.

00:38:57I think they're too powerful,

00:39:00too glib and amoral and elusive.

00:39:05Roger, Roger, no, there has got to be a way.

00:39:09There's got to be some legal loophole somewhere

00:39:11that we can hang them with.

00:39:13I know we can find that.

00:39:16Besides, how can you cop out on a fight like this now?

00:39:19We've only been at it for five days.

00:39:23Did you know it took 50 years to enforce the law

00:39:25that enabled the blacks to vote in Alabama?

00:39:2875 years.

00:39:2975 years, excuse me.

00:39:31Did you see Woods? Was he great?

00:39:34I hated him.

00:39:43Abigail, I'm going to have to go back.

00:39:47Roger, I can't let you do that.

00:39:50No, I have to, Abigail.

00:39:53There's no point in me staying.

00:39:57Just a waste of the university's money.

00:40:01I overestimated myself a little bit.

00:40:12No more, I'm exhausted. I'll talk to you in the morning.

00:40:15No, Roger.

00:40:17Let's talk now.

00:40:22Get all the bags out, will you?

00:40:24They'll laugh you out of Alaska if you go back now.

00:40:27Abby.

00:40:28I mean it, Roger.

00:40:29If you quit while there's even one seal alive up there,

00:40:31you'll never be able to face a classroom of law students again.

00:40:34Mr. Keller, they've been calling you every hour from Alaska.

00:40:39Okay, well, when they call back, I'll take it upstairs in my room.

00:40:43Mr. Paxton, this is Abigail Adams, my attorney,

00:40:46and we're going upstairs to talk.

00:40:49I want to believe you.

00:40:54Believe me, Roger, I know I'm right.

00:40:57Yeah, sure.

00:41:00Hello.

00:41:02Yeah, Mr. Paxton.

00:41:03Yeah, put him on, please. Thank you.

00:41:08Hello, Peter.

00:41:14You put my face on every telephone pole in Juneau?

00:41:20Oh, yeah. No, no.

00:41:22Yeah, I'm sure. I don't mind being a hero.

00:41:28No, no, I'm not surprised at all at the kind of support you get from the town.

00:41:32We just came back from a stockholder's meeting of Dunbar in Philadelphia.

00:41:37Yeah, in Philadelphia.

00:41:38And we got a deal.

00:41:40Philadelphia. Yeah, in Philadelphia.

00:41:42And we got just incredible support from the stockholders who were there.

00:41:48Well, no, no, I don't think you could exactly say it was a fait accompli, Peter, no.

00:41:55No, there's some stuff to be done here.

00:41:59A parade?

00:42:02No, no, I don't think I'm going to be able to get back for that.

00:42:07No, well, I would love to if I could, but I think probably the work here is going to take a little bit longer.

00:42:14And a rally. Okay, good. That's wonderful.

00:42:17It's really heartening, that kind of support.

00:42:24Yeah.

00:42:27Yeah.

00:42:28Okay, thank you.

00:42:33Yeah, all power to you, too, Peter.

00:42:35Thank you.

00:42:37See, wasn't I right?

00:42:43You were right.

00:42:45I should have listened to you.

00:42:48You should do a lot of things.

00:42:51Yeah?

00:42:59Like what?

00:43:00Kiss me.

00:43:04Kiss me.

00:43:18Mom.

00:43:20How are you?

00:43:21That was nice.

00:43:23It was.

00:43:26I thought you had a sexy mouth, but I wasn't sure.

00:43:30You have a very sexy mouth.

00:43:33I do?

00:43:39Abigail, once I get started, I'm not a robot, you know.

00:43:42I know, I know, I know. You're an animal.

00:43:49No, I'd better go home.

00:43:51You are home, Roger. This is your home.

00:43:55Yeah.

00:43:56What's the matter, Roger?

00:43:58Are you afraid that sex will compromise our fiduciary relationship?

00:44:05Now, shall I lock the door?

00:44:08Would you like to live dangerously?

00:44:13You do remember how, don't you?

00:44:18Yeah, I think so.

00:44:19I'm sure that if we turn out the light and lie down, everything will work out.

00:44:27Abigail.

00:44:29Can I ask you one thing before we start?

00:44:34Is it okay?

00:44:36We're okay.

00:44:37You know what I mean? Is it going to be okay? I didn't bring any precautions with me.

00:44:43I don't believe this.

00:44:46I don't believe this.

00:44:48Roger, I've been on the pill for six years.

00:44:52Which pill?

00:44:53Which pill? The birth control pill.

00:44:57What color?

00:44:59Blue.

00:45:01Blue is 93% effective, Abigail.

00:45:04Hunter.

00:45:05No, I'm serious. I mean, if you want to take the risk for 7%.

00:45:08I do, I do, I do.

00:45:10Okay, okay.

00:45:11Just one more thing, Abigail.

00:45:13If it really is feeling nice and terrific for you, will you tell me?

00:45:17Oh, yeah.

00:45:18Will you say 10?

00:45:21And if it's really the pits, will you say 0?

00:45:28And anything in between, will you kind of grade it and scale it?

00:45:33You're putting me on, aren't you?

00:45:38Aren't you?

00:45:39Oh, you are so rotten.

00:45:43Lie back on that pillow.

00:45:44What?

00:45:46I said, put your butt on that pillow.

00:45:49Oh, Jesus, what is it about me? I always attract all the weirdos.

00:45:54I guess I deserved it.

00:45:56Yeah, you deserved it.

00:46:00Lie back.

00:46:05You awake?

00:46:07You awake?

00:46:08Mm-hmm.

00:46:09I just realized something.

00:46:11I know, you forgot to thank me. You're welcome.

00:46:16If the Endangered Species Act was only passed in 1975,

00:46:21what protected the Chihuahua seals up until then?

00:46:24I mean, if they weren't killed off, that means either nobody wanted to kill them,

00:46:28or there was some law protecting them in a statute somewhere.

00:46:34And we'll find it. Let's go to the Library of Congress tomorrow and find out.

00:46:37Finally.

00:46:43You like candy?

00:46:44Mm-hmm.

00:46:46I'll show you what.

00:46:55Good night.

00:46:59Good night.

00:47:04Now I finally know what it's like to be married.

00:47:08Nothing.

00:47:12Do you want your other pillow back?

00:47:15Yeah, toss it over, will you?

00:47:20Come and get it.

00:47:35I thought you were at home.

00:47:36Sorry, but there's something wrong with the bathtub, and there's a...

00:47:39Oh, goodness, Mr. Paxton, quick.

00:47:41Go to the bed. Hide.

00:47:42Hide under the...

00:47:43I wanted this in 1983.

00:47:47Just as I thought.

00:47:48It's the order in the court.

00:47:51You lied to me.

00:47:52Both of you.

00:47:53Hey, doesn't anybody in the world know how to read?

00:47:57Welcome to the YWCA.

00:48:04Did you know it's against the law to eat a live chicken in New Jersey?

00:48:10What's happening in your part of the country?

00:48:14Stokely versus the state of Wyoming.

00:48:17Appellate Court, May 6th, 1915.

00:48:21Judge Herbert L. Danzig presiding.

00:48:24Any person or persons killing a buffalo using a cannon,

00:48:29a machine gun, or any other such automatic weapon

00:48:33is subject to a $5 fine or five days in jail, or both.

00:48:39God bless Judge Danzig.

00:48:41If it weren't for men like him,

00:48:42most of the buffalo in the country would be gone by now.

00:48:48Let's take a lunch break.

00:48:52You are fantastic.

00:49:04Did you know it's against the law to do what we just did in 37 states,

00:49:07Puerto Rico and the Panama Canal Zone?

00:49:16It was good, huh?

00:49:18Good.

00:49:20It was the complete words of Henry Miller condensed into five minutes.

00:49:26You're welcome.

00:49:31That's the second time you've said that.

00:49:34You're welcome for what exactly?

00:49:37I don't believe it.

00:49:39How many times did you?

00:49:42I don't know.

00:49:45I don't know. I don't count.

00:49:47Sure you count. Everybody counts. Eight, nine...

00:49:49I don't remember.

00:49:51Ten?

00:49:52Ten for you and one for me?

00:49:54You're welcome.

00:49:55Thanks a lot.

00:49:56Terrific.

00:49:57Really, that's amazing.

00:49:59You have this brilliantly designed,

00:50:02God-given anatomy and plumbing

00:50:04that gives you ten times the pleasure it gives me,

00:50:07and you say, you're welcome.

00:50:09I mean, it's 1979.

00:50:11You can admit that you get as much pleasure out of it as I do.

00:50:14What is it with this?

00:50:15I mean, it's 1979.

00:50:17You can admit that you get as much pleasure out of it as I do.

00:50:19What is it with this mid-Victorian, you're welcome bullshit?

00:50:23Am I right or am I crazy?

00:50:25No, no, no. You're right.

00:50:26You are absolutely right.

00:50:28I shall never do it again.

00:50:30Thank you for straightening out my head in that area.

00:50:37You're welcome.

00:50:40Nonetheless, I have to admit,

00:50:42it was, so far and away, the very best.

00:50:48I would have to say,

00:50:51thank you.

00:50:54You're welcome.

00:51:00History of the hunting and gaming laws of the state of Georgia.

00:51:041,172 pages.

00:51:09Cougars.

00:51:10See, convertibles, hardtops, and station wagons.

00:51:13I'm sorry I've gone completely punchy.

00:51:15It's my 15th state since lunch.

00:51:16There's got to be a quicker way.

00:51:19What did you have in mind?

00:51:21Maybe we should split up.

00:51:23Tomorrow, you stay with state laws in the Library of Congress,

00:51:26and I'll move on to treaties.

00:51:27After all, the government's got a lot of money.

00:51:30Which brings us up to the Manitoba Indians

00:51:33and the Dawson Bay Treaty.

00:51:35Dawson Bay?

00:51:37Let it hereby be known that on the...

00:51:41Jesus, Mr. Farkas, come here, quick.

00:51:43What's wrong, Miss Adams?

00:51:45Nothing is wrong. Come over here.

00:51:47I've got a letter for you.

00:51:49I've got a letter for you.

00:51:51I've got a letter for you.

00:51:53I've got a letter for you.

00:51:55I've got a letter for you.

00:51:57I've got a letter for you.

00:51:59Nothing is wrong. Come over here and look at this.

00:52:01It's a treaty that cedes Dawson Bay to the Manitoba Indian tribe

00:52:04and their descendants in perpetuity.

00:52:06Manitoba Indians.

00:52:09Well, here they are.

00:52:11The Manitoba tribe used to be located up in this area.

00:52:14Used to be. Where are they now?

00:52:15Well, let's see.

00:52:17Well, the treaty that you read in the big book,

00:52:20well, it seems that it was broken in 1894.

00:52:24Something to do about a dispute

00:52:26between the seal hunters and the Indians.

00:52:28Now, here we are.

00:52:30The Manitobas who were left alive after the fighting,

00:52:33230 of them,

00:52:35were put on a reservation for their own protection in 1920.

00:52:39Well, which reservation? How do I get there?

00:52:41Ah.

00:52:43Well, according to this last letter,

00:52:45they're not there anymore.

00:52:47Broke out in 1922 and escaped.

00:52:50Government lost track of them.

00:52:51You're kidding. The government lost track of 230 Indians?

00:52:54Well, not exactly.

00:52:57According to this final report,

00:52:59only one of them escaped in 1922.

00:53:01The rest died on the reservation.

00:53:03But there's one left?

00:53:05I'm gonna find him.

00:53:08Thank you very much.

00:53:10Thank you very, very much.

00:53:13All we need to find is one Manitoban Indian.

00:53:16Since they owned the land by prior treaty,

00:53:18we'll slap a trespassing suit on Dunbar

00:53:20so fast it'll make their corporate heads spin.

00:53:22How are we gonna find him?

00:53:23One Indian in the whole United States.

00:53:25What are you gonna do, put an ad in everybody's paper?

00:53:28How are we gonna find him?

00:53:30There's gotta be a faster way.

00:53:37What are you gonna do?

00:53:38I just thought of something.

00:53:42You wait and see.

00:53:49Hello, David. Did I wake you?

00:53:51You know,

00:53:53somebody asked me,

00:53:54Miss West, how do you keep your youth?

00:53:57I said, oh, I send him a check once a week.

00:54:01Three and two.

00:54:11Get the fadal out of your shot.

00:54:12Give me a close-up on David.

00:54:15You're a big one.

00:54:16That was just wonderful.

00:54:17Oh, thank you, David.

00:54:20Professor Keller and I were just...

00:54:22You know Professor Keller?

00:54:23Oh, Professor Keller?

00:54:24You're no relation to Helen, are you?

00:54:27She choreographed my act.

00:54:29It looks it.

00:54:33The professor and I were just discussing

00:54:35the plight of the seals in his home state.

00:54:37Now, Professor,

00:54:38our staff made some inquiries this afternoon,

00:54:40and they made a few calls.

00:54:42And I think it was determined that the Air Force

00:54:44and the Dun...

00:54:46the construction company, the...

00:54:48Dunbar Construction.

00:54:49The Dunbar Construction Company

00:54:51have agreed to move the seals to another location.

00:54:54But that doesn't make any difference.

00:54:56The result would be the same.

00:54:57The seals can only breed on flat coastline,

00:55:00and that place where they are

00:55:01is the only piece of flat coastline for 200 miles.

00:55:04Can't they do it on a hill?

00:55:06A little slant?

00:55:08They breed once a year, you see.

00:55:10They only have one mating season.

00:55:12One chance.

00:55:13Yeah.

00:55:14Oh, what a drag.

00:55:16For you, maybe, Craig,

00:55:17but the seals are quite content.

00:55:19Professor, you brought some pictures with you.

00:55:21Yes, I did.

00:55:22Why don't we look at those now?

00:55:23Thank you.

00:55:26Those are Chihuahua seals.

00:55:29Or I should say that they were Chihuahua seals.

00:55:33Why did they beat them up so much?

00:55:35That's the way that they exterminate them.

00:55:38When those pictures were taken,

00:55:40there were about 1,000 of those seals in existence.

00:55:43Tonight, as we look at them,

00:55:44there are possibly 300 or more.

00:55:49So, if anyone in the audience tonight

00:55:53knows the whereabouts of the one Manitoban Indian

00:55:56still in existence,

00:55:58I would really like it if they could telephone us.

00:56:00Is that all right?

00:56:01Of course.

00:56:02Could you telephone, please,

00:56:04Ms. Abigail Adams in Washington, D.C.?

00:56:07The area code is 202-962-3701.

00:56:13202-962-3701.

00:56:17Can they call collect?

00:56:19All right, sure.

00:56:20I know my audience. That'll help.

00:56:44Hey, Jamie. Hi, Sally.

00:56:46Hi, Tom.

00:56:47Is he up yet?

00:56:48Yeah, I've been up for a long time.

00:56:49Hi, Jamie.

00:56:50Hi, Sally.

00:56:51Hi.

00:56:52Hi, Jamie.

00:56:54Now, don't forget.

00:56:563,609 and all, right?

00:57:00All negative.

00:57:01Well, 610, counting the one from my mother.

00:57:06All right.

00:57:08First, Tom, I want you to organize a counter mail campaign.

00:57:11I want at least 5,000 of these to hit the network in the next two weeks.

00:57:14Then call Charlie over at the agency.

00:57:16We'll buy us a back page in the New York Times,

00:57:18and I'll write the copy.

00:57:19And one more thing.

00:57:20Get on the phone and tell him to double the men up at Dawson.

00:57:23Let's get it over and done with as fast as we can.

00:57:26Okay.

00:57:28It could be worse.

00:57:30Yeah.

00:57:32Jake.

00:57:38Sit down.

00:57:41Look, it's your job to take whatever steps are necessary to protect us here.

00:57:46We'll get on to it right away.

00:57:48We'll set up the camera in the girl's apartment.

00:57:50Then we'll bug them.

00:57:51No, no, no.

00:57:53Don't tell me.

00:57:56I don't want to hear about it.

00:57:58Just, uh, just do it.

00:58:04And, Jake, find that last goddamn Indian.

00:58:08Hire the entire Pigleton agency if you have to, but, uh, find him.

00:58:12We'll find him.

00:58:20Who loves you?

00:58:22Who loves you?

00:58:23Your daddy loves you.

00:58:28Yeah, see ya.

00:58:29Not you, dummy.

00:58:31Hey, why don't you give Louise a call?

00:58:34Even if he didn't watch the show,

00:58:36even if he didn't watch the show,

00:58:38somebody who knows him must have watched the show.

00:58:40I can't figure out why he hasn't telephoned.

00:58:42A Manitoban Indian who escaped from a reservation

00:58:45must know who he is and that we want him,

00:58:47or somebody must know who he is,

00:58:49and therefore where he is.

00:58:51I have a terrific idea.

00:58:53Stanley Nelson works at the Census Bureau.

00:58:55He's an old friend of mine.

00:58:57Oh, God.

00:58:58I'll go see him.

00:58:59Well, why don't you just wait until we get back to the office,

00:59:01and then telephone.

00:59:02I don't want to call from the office.

00:59:03I would not be surprised if my phone was being tapped.

00:59:06Oh, Abigail.

00:59:07Roger, you can't be so trusting.

00:59:11You don't think they're stupid enough to tap somebody's phone?

00:59:14Yes, I do. I really do.

00:59:18Another $479.52 in donations.

00:59:23Now, that's almost $10,000.

00:59:25We should offer this up as a reward

00:59:27for finding the last Manitoban Indian.

00:59:30Hey, Adam's attorney's office.

00:59:34Yes, ma'am?

00:59:38Yes, I want to help crippled children, too,

00:59:41but these are chihuahua, not Easter Seals.

00:59:46Yes, ma'am.

00:59:47Thank you very much.

00:59:49No, not at all.

00:59:52Look at this.

00:59:53My license has been suspended

00:59:55for having a defective muffler on my 1963 Volkswagen,

00:59:58which I sold in 1969.

01:00:00Oh, it's going to be some kind of...

01:00:02Hey, Adam's attorney's office.

01:00:06Suite 1200, 432 Pennsylvania Avenue,

01:00:11Washington, D.C., 21758.

01:00:16Thank you.

01:00:17Dear Miss Adams, an audit of your state taxes

01:00:20for the years 1976 and 1977

01:00:23will be presently forthcoming.

01:00:27Hey, Adam's attorney's office.

01:00:30Now, would you repeat your name, please?

01:00:33Canuck?

01:00:38And you're a Manitoban Indian?

01:00:41No, no, no, no, no.

01:00:43No, no, please, look, don't be frightened.

01:00:46Nobody will know.

01:00:47We will be very careful.

01:00:50Uh-huh, yeah, no.

01:00:51We know the hotel.

01:00:53Sure, room 312.

01:00:55And we'll come around the back.

01:00:57No, we have all the documentation.

01:01:00Sure.

01:01:01We'll be there in about an hour.

01:01:03Thank you.

01:01:04Thank you.

01:01:18Around the back.

01:01:19You said use the back stairs.

01:01:27I don't even want to read this.

01:01:28Oh, I don't mean you have to read this.

01:01:30Oh, wow, what for?

01:01:31After what the white man did to my people

01:01:34for over 200 years...

01:01:37You know, my great-grandfather was Geronimo.

01:01:43I thought Geronimo was Apache.

01:01:46Half.

01:01:47My great-uncle was Jim Thorpe.

01:01:50Now, you know what the white people did to Jim Thorpe.

01:01:53They took away his Olympic gold medals in the film.

01:01:57Yeah, but that was because he played pro baseball.

01:01:59That wasn't because he wasn't an Indian.

01:02:02Oh, really?

01:02:03You think that they would have humiliated Pete Rose that same way?

01:02:05Probably, if he'd broken the rules.

01:02:07There are two sets of rules.

01:02:08There's the rules for your people

01:02:10and the rules for my people.

01:02:13Did you sign?

01:02:15This petition states that...

01:02:16Hey, look, I told you.

01:02:18There's really no need to explain.

01:02:20I really love what your people are doing.

01:02:29Give me the pen.

01:02:31Yeah, I've got a pen here, sir.

01:02:34There's six places I marked where you should sign them.

01:02:36Two legs, I too, in Paris.

01:02:39And hi, Perrier.

01:02:42A little thirst quencher.

01:02:44Stay away from those sugar-loaded soft drinks

01:02:47Stay away from those sugar-loaded soft drinks

01:02:49that only add bound to your hip.

01:02:52Ask for...

01:02:57Out of the face! I'm an actor!

01:02:59I'm an actor!

01:03:01They hired me to play an Indian.

01:03:04It's true.

01:03:05Five hundred dollars.

01:03:10Hey, wait, wait.

01:03:11I've got a great idea.

01:03:13If I promise not to tell them

01:03:15that you found me out,

01:03:17then I get to keep the five hundred dollars

01:03:19and you get to keep looking for the real Indian

01:03:21without them knowing it.

01:03:22Then everyone would be happy.

01:03:25What do you say?

01:03:26What do you think, Roger?

01:03:28Can we trust him?

01:03:30Oh, sure, Abigail.

01:03:32Absolutely.

01:03:35I think it would be better if he

01:03:37swore on the Bible.

01:03:40You wouldn't mind swearing on the Bible, would you?

01:03:43No.

01:03:45We can trust him.

01:03:48Hey!

01:03:50Dear Senor Quixote,

01:03:52it seems the windmills you've been dueling with

01:03:54have very long arms.

01:03:56I was reminded of this sad fact

01:03:58by two phone calls yesterday

01:03:59and three meetings this morning.

01:04:01Roger, I know that sending you to Washington

01:04:03was my brilliant idea,

01:04:05and for this I apologize,

01:04:06but unless you stop your activities immediately,

01:04:09not only will you not have a job here

01:04:11or myself a pension,

01:04:13but Barnes College may well turn out

01:04:15to be the largest parking lot west of the Canadian border

01:04:17regards Dean Collier.

01:04:19Oh, boy.

01:04:25Yep.

01:04:26Yeah, hi.

01:04:27Will you fill it up with unleaded?

01:04:28Unleaded?

01:04:29Unleaded, Junior. Fill it up.

01:04:32You know what they pay grade school teachers in England?

01:04:38About ten bucks more than I'll make as a waitress.

01:04:41You'll get tips.

01:04:42This card's been reported stolen,

01:04:43so I'm going to have to keep it

01:04:44and you're going to have to pay me in cash.

01:04:45That's impossible.

01:04:46I've had that card for six years.

01:04:47It's my card.

01:04:48There's got to be some kind of mistake.

01:04:49Now, would you go and check it again, please?

01:04:51All right, I'll check it in a new book in the station.

01:04:53I'll be right back.

01:04:56Roger,

01:04:58I am scared.

01:05:01Abigail, this thing's got to be some kind of mistake.

01:05:03First time in my life I am scared of them.

01:05:06Those Dunbar people are playing hardball.

01:05:09Wait a second.

01:05:10They're not fooling around anymore.

01:05:12Come on, Abigail.

01:05:13You're right. The card's fine. I'm sorry.

01:05:15Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.

01:05:19Behind the wheel!

01:05:22Jesus Christ!

01:05:25Stop or I'll shoot!

01:05:27Look out!

01:05:29No, don't shoot, you asshole!

01:05:30You'll blow us all to hell!

01:05:32Stop it, for Christ's sakes!

01:05:33It's a fucking iguana!

01:05:35Goddamn son of a bitch, call the police!

01:05:37Roger, we didn't do anything wrong!

01:05:39What are you doing? Jesus!

01:05:42Stop that damn thing!

01:05:43Shut it off!

01:05:57I can't see!

01:05:58I can't see either. This gasoline's all over me!

01:06:00Are they following us?

01:06:02Roger, this is ridiculous.

01:06:04Trust me, I'm your lawyer.

01:06:07The worst that'll happen is they'll stop and search you

01:06:09and they'll find out you're you and let us go home.

01:06:11No, they won't. They'll put us in jail.

01:06:13He's moving. He's moving.

01:06:15He's got a Porsche engine.

01:06:16I'll tell you, he's got a Porsche or a Maserati in there.

01:06:18I mean, I see your point if it's a matter of principle.

01:06:21I see, but that...

01:06:22Abby, I'm gonna try and lose him.

01:06:27Mommy!

01:06:28Hold this up and firm.

01:06:32Oh, Jesus!

01:06:37You hit him!

01:06:38He hit us!

01:06:39Be careful. He has to be careful.

01:06:40We're police. Let him be careful.

01:06:44Get back!

01:06:45Oh, Roger, a dog!

01:06:55Roger, you're gonna destroy a building!

01:06:57Could it be the CIA in Alexandria or the FBI down the block?

01:07:00What are they doing?

01:07:01I don't know how to tell you this, but they're crazier than you are.

01:07:04I don't know how to tell you this, but they're crazier than you are.

01:07:14All right, I lied. I'm not pregnant, Roger.

01:07:20You want a creamsicle?

01:07:22I think I got rid of them.

01:07:23Along with my stomach, buffalo, and half my pantyhose.

01:07:27I couldn't let them search me, Abby.

01:07:29Please slow down.

01:07:31Oh, my God, the brakes are gone.

01:07:33And those cars!

01:07:40My God!

01:07:42They really do float.

01:08:04I'm terribly sorry what I did to your car, Abigail.

01:08:10If I promise not to get angry, Roger, do you think you could explain to me why you just did that?

01:08:14Why?

01:08:15Why?

01:08:23I was holding.

01:08:25Oh, Jesus.

01:08:26Oh, Jesus.

01:08:31You mean for a few lousy joints, you just destroyed my car and almost had the two of us killed?

01:08:36I said I was sorry.

01:08:39Do you realize also that you just blew any chance you ever had of becoming President of the United States?

01:08:44Well, it doesn't matter.

01:08:45It doesn't matter?

01:08:46No, I couldn't spend four years in this town.

01:08:56You don't have a match, do you?

01:09:05Mr. Paxman!

01:09:07Mr. Paxman!

01:09:08Yes?

01:09:11What happened to you?

01:09:13I'll tell you about it as soon as I get changed.

01:09:16Your room was searched this morning.

01:09:18Oh, God.

01:09:19Anything else?

01:09:20Well, the health department condemned my kitchen this afternoon.

01:09:23Well, at least they didn't condemn your building.

01:09:25Well, there was a fire department this evening.

01:09:29Well, I'll move out.

01:09:31We both will.

01:09:33What?

01:09:34I said we both will.

01:09:35You need a partner, and I'm mad as hell.

01:09:41Well, while you're doing the AM show with David Harmon, I'll just bop across town and get you on the very great show tonight.

01:09:46Good morning, Roger.

01:09:47Hi, Abigail.

01:09:48We're busy, Mr. Dickerson.

01:09:50Yeah, I know.

01:09:51Listen, Mr. Austin would like to talk to you for a couple of minutes.

01:09:53I can make sure you catch that New York flight if you could come with me.

01:09:56That's a wonderful deal you fellas have worked out with the phone company.

01:09:59Roger, listen, Mr. Austin is convinced he's got the perfect solution to the seal problem.

01:10:03Make everybody happy.

01:10:05I'd settle for pleasantly surprised.

01:10:07Well, I think I can guarantee that, really.

01:10:11Why don't you hop in?

01:10:14Okay?

01:10:16Let's go.

01:10:17Okay.

01:10:18You look wonderful.

01:10:19Oh, thank you.

01:10:20How have you been?

01:10:21Just fine.

01:10:22Good.

01:10:44That's area code 212, New York 3552821, extension 509.

01:10:51Tell Mr. Hartman you've changed your mind.

01:10:54Four copies of these will be sent out to the president, the dean, the alumni association,

01:10:59and every faculty member of Barnes College by tomorrow morning.

01:11:03After that, every law firm in the city and New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

01:11:08Jake, Jake.

01:11:11I want you to understand that I hate this kind of garbage.

01:11:17It's nothing personal, you know that.

01:11:20It's just that we kind of ran out of ideas on how to make this thing work out.

01:11:25I think, if I may, Bob,

01:11:28I think what Mr. Austin is trying to say is that we're pretty much at the bottom of the barrel here

01:11:34and you've pushed us very hard, Roger.

01:11:38You have to dial 9 if you want to get an outside line.

01:11:46I used to think the bad guys were guys like Al Capone or Billy the Kid,

01:11:52but I was wrong.

01:11:54It's guys like you.

01:11:56You and Tom and Jake and your secretary out there

01:11:59and the guy in the elevator who brought us up here

01:12:01and the decent-looking people on the street who work for big corporations or governments

01:12:05and think that they can exchange their morality for the morality of big corporations

01:12:09five days a week, 9 to 5 every day,

01:12:11and get away with it and go home and kiss their kids and still be decent, moral people.

01:12:15Well, they can't. They can't.

01:12:17Because big corporations don't have any morality at all, nothing.

01:12:20They don't have any compassion, any humanity, any...

01:12:22Excuse me, I'd like to have a word with my client.

01:12:24Roger, can we meet in the hall?

01:12:26Please, take all the time you'd like, but don't do it in the hallway.

01:12:28Tom, use Tom's office.

01:12:30Yeah, sure, good idea. Just make yourself comfortable.

01:12:33You want a drink or something, Roger?

01:12:37Call me crazy, man. I like those two kids.

01:12:41They're good people.

01:12:43A little mixed up, but good people.

01:12:46You like them, huh?

01:12:47Yes, I do.

01:12:48Well, I think they're both full of shit.

01:12:50I mean, how dare they come in here calling us the bad guys?

01:12:53Me?

01:12:54Yeah, you.

01:12:55Yeah, you.

01:12:56Yeah, you.

01:12:57Yeah, you.

01:12:58Yeah, you.

01:12:59Yeah, you.

01:13:00Yeah, you.

01:13:01Yeah, you.

01:13:02Yeah, you.

01:13:03Yeah, you.

01:13:04Yeah, you.

01:13:05Yeah, you.

01:13:06Dead bad guys.

01:13:07Me?

01:13:08I, I was wounded twice.

01:13:11Once in Korea and once at the Bay of Pegs.

01:13:12Three times, Jake.

01:13:14Forgot the hooker in Miami that bit you

01:13:15on your peck when you refused to pay.

01:13:24We've made a decision.

01:13:25We'd like two coffees of that.

01:13:28A blow-up of that.

01:13:30Four?

01:13:31Two.

01:13:32Just two of that.

01:13:34None of that for my mother.

01:13:39Should I write that down or do you think you can remember it?

01:13:43I can remember.

01:13:44I'll take care of it today.

01:13:47Any other decisions you'd like us to make?

01:13:49No, I don't think so.

01:13:51Tom, drive them to the airport.

01:13:53Make sure they catch their plane.

01:14:01Thanks, fellas.

01:14:02Of course they rescinded your parade permit, Peter.

01:14:03What did you expect?

01:14:04I know it isn't just, but whoever told you that this system guaranteed justice?

01:14:18Well, I was wrong.

01:14:22He hung up.

01:14:26The only justice this system guarantees you is the right to pursue justice.

01:14:31Come in.

01:14:32Excuse me.

01:14:33Yes.

01:14:34Is the $10,000 reward really true?

01:14:37It most certainly is.

01:14:39Well, I don't want it.

01:14:41I could use the money, all right, but old Oscar wants it himself.

01:14:46Who's old Oscar?

01:14:47Old Oscar.

01:14:48He's the Indian.

01:14:49Ma'am, excuse me.

01:14:50Sorry.

01:14:51Would you sit down in that chair over there and write down what you were going to say,

01:14:56Abby?

01:14:57Get me a pad of paper and a pencil, will you?

01:14:58Can I light it, Doctor?

01:14:59No, don't light it.

01:15:00That's going to be necessary.

01:15:01There.

01:15:02The walls have ears.

01:15:03Do you understand?

01:15:04If you say so.

01:15:05You're going to have to run it by me again, because I don't know what I'm going to do.

01:15:06You're going to have to run it by me again, because I don't know what I'm going to do.

01:15:07You're going to have to run it by me again, because I don't know what I'm going to do.

01:15:08You're going to have to run it by me again, because I don't know what I'm going to do.

01:15:09You're going to have to run it by me again, because I don't know what I'm going to do.

01:15:10If you say so.

01:15:17You're going to have to run it by me again, because I don't understand it.

01:15:22We take my car to the Cedian Motel in Harrisburg and wait for Oscar's call tomorrow night.

01:15:319-15.

01:15:33Just calling us at 9-15 to tell us where he'll be hiding.

01:15:36But your car is a blue 1955 Buick.

01:15:40which is a little conspicuous.

01:15:42That's good.

01:15:43Now, you want them to follow us?

01:15:44Yes, Roger, that's part of the plan.

01:15:49But then how do we get to Oscar?

01:15:51We don't.

01:15:52She does.

01:15:54But they'll be watching her.

01:15:56They'll be watching us.

01:15:58Oh, come on, they're not that dumb.

01:16:00It won't work, this plan. I guarantee it.

01:16:01How many Alfred Hitchcock movies have you seen?

01:16:05Uh...

01:16:07I don't even know. I must have one or two.

01:16:09You're wondering?

01:16:10North by Northwest.

01:16:12I've seen them all.

01:16:14So it is.

01:16:16Is there a doctor here in town you can trust?

01:16:19One I can trust? No.

01:16:22One who owes me a favor, yes.

01:16:24Naturally.

01:16:26Bob Rubens at Mount Sinai.

01:16:28He went to medical school with my brother Tom.

01:16:30Tom got him into the only non-Jewish fraternity at Tufts

01:16:33that had all the answers to the biology quizzes.

01:16:35Do you believe that?

01:16:36No.

01:16:37Because I just made it up.

01:16:39What do I do with Dr. Ruben?

01:16:42You will phone him and tell him to be prepared.

01:16:45For what?

01:16:46Don't tell me. Don't let me in on it.

01:16:48I don't want to know.

01:16:49I wouldn't understand if I did know.

01:16:52Oh!

01:16:53Darling, it's nothing.

01:16:54Believe me, I had mine out when I was 12 years old.

01:16:57It hurts!

01:16:58I know, honey, but they'll put you to sleep

01:17:00and they'll have your appendix in a bottle before you know it.

01:17:03It'll have nothing but a cute little star

01:17:05and a sexy little tummy, and you'll be okay.

01:17:07You'll be home in 2 days.

01:17:09Will you wait?

01:17:10Sure.

01:17:11You promise not to fall in love

01:17:13with some other dumb unshaven chick before you leave?

01:17:16Ha!

01:17:18Ow!

01:17:20Easy, boys.

01:17:22Up we go.

01:17:23Ah!

01:17:26Okay, you all right?

01:17:27Yeah.

01:17:28I'll come see you tonight.

01:17:29Here's her bag, okay?

01:17:30Oh, thanks.

01:17:31Thanks a lot.

01:17:33Bye, darling.

01:17:46Are you really going duck hunting?

01:17:48Honey, of course I am.

01:17:49It's the first day of the season.

01:17:53Now, what are you looking at me so strangely for?

01:17:55I go every year, don't I, babe?

01:17:57Yes, you do.

01:17:59Have you got everything?

01:18:01Yeah, ready to bang my limit.

01:18:03See you tomorrow night.

01:18:07Where are you really going, Bob?

01:18:11And what's the duck's name?

01:18:13Abigail Adams, and she's no duck, darling.

01:18:16She's a decoy.

01:18:28How can you eat that slop?

01:18:30It's better for you than those coffin nails you're smoking.

01:18:34You're going to die from those three packs a day someday, buddy.

01:18:38No, as a matter of fact, I read in a scientific digest, it said...

01:18:45the person sitting next to the person smoking

01:18:48is more apt to get cancer than the person smoking.

01:18:54Thanks.

01:18:55Thanks.

01:18:59Are you sure that those clowns have really found him?

01:19:02Yes.

01:19:03Then why don't we just go and get him?

01:19:05I mean, who is he?

01:19:08We don't know that yet, Jake.

01:19:11That's why we're here.

01:19:18Cigarette?

01:19:21You got nothing to lose. Come on.

01:19:25Come on.

01:19:31Okay.

01:19:42Thanks, Doc.

01:19:50Check.

01:19:51Six moves to mate.

01:19:56I apologize.

01:19:58Two moves to mate.

01:20:03Four o'clock on the dot.

01:20:05Let's go see how it is.

01:20:16Who's that with him?

01:20:17That's Paxton, the guy that owns the Dulce house.

01:20:21You sure?

01:20:22The guy that looks like that black actor, the one that wasn't in Ruiz.

01:20:41Wait a minute, Bob. I think they're getting into a car.

01:20:43Back it out of here.

01:20:52Come on.

01:21:11Are they still following?

01:21:13Yeah, I think it's them.

01:21:15No, no. No problem, Bob. We got them.

01:21:18They haven't seen us.

01:21:20Let's see if we can almost lose them.

01:21:25Abigail, brace yourself. I'm going to make a sharp right-hand turn.

01:21:50They made the turn. It's them.

01:21:56Protect your head, Abby.

01:21:58You got my head. I'm worried about it.

01:22:07Still following us?

01:22:08They won't quit.

01:22:15How you doing back there?

01:22:17As a person, lousy. As a milkshake, terrific.

01:22:27Be careful, Tom.

01:22:29Don't do that, Jake.

01:22:30Don't do what?

01:22:31Don't talk.

01:22:34I think we hit something, Tom.

01:22:36Nah, we just brushed him.

01:22:37Shouldn't we stop?

01:22:38No, no. He'll be all right.

01:22:39These farm people are tough.

01:22:48Yes, Oscar.

01:22:52No, yes, sir.

01:22:53No, she'll find it all right.

01:22:55No, she's very bright.

01:22:57Bright.

01:22:58Louise, darling.

01:22:59All right, okay.

01:23:00You've had your turn, okay?

01:23:01Let me speak a minute, and I'll explain the whole thing.

01:23:04All right.

01:23:05All right.

01:23:06All right.

01:23:07All right.

01:23:08All right.

01:23:09All right.

01:23:10All right.

01:23:11All right.

01:23:12All right.

01:23:13All right.

01:23:14All right.

01:23:15All right.

01:23:16I'll explain the whole thing.

01:23:18Ah, no.

01:23:19Yeah, well, I'm sure she did say that, but...

01:23:22Now he's not hunting ducks, darling.

01:23:24He...

01:23:25Huh?

01:23:26Yeah, red pickup truck, yeah?

01:23:31Don't worry about it, sir.

01:23:32She'll be on time.

01:23:37Yes, sir.

01:23:39Thank you.

01:23:42God bless you, sir.

01:23:44God bless you. Thank you.

01:23:53A loan means a loan, Louise. Yes.

01:23:58Well, then I'll tell you what to do. You call a goddamn lawyer, all right?

01:24:03No, you don't call Fred. He's my lawyer.

01:24:08Yeah.

01:24:09They're leaving. Let's get going.

01:24:10Come on, move it, Tom.

01:24:14Shit.

01:24:33Jesus, now I know what it feels like to be gang-banged by the L.A. Rams.

01:24:37109, room 109. The message is on the lamp. 109.

01:24:43109.

01:24:52They're still following us.

01:24:54Of course.

01:24:55She should be getting on the bus.

01:24:57Just about now.

01:25:01In a few minutes.

01:25:04That's Greyhound number 584, non-stop to Springfield, Illinois.

01:25:08Now you try and catch up with me as fast as you can.

01:25:10What if they notice that we're not tailing them?

01:25:12I want him to notice, Jake.

01:25:15Just make sure that he does.

01:25:17I gotta run.

01:25:21We want them to notice that we're not tailing them.

01:25:35They turned around. Something went wrong.

01:25:37I told you they weren't that dumb.

01:25:41We better get to Abigail and warn them.

01:25:43No, slow down.

01:25:46Maybe they don't know anything.

01:25:48Maybe it's a trick.

01:25:50Let's not lead them there.

01:25:52Maybe it'd be better if we followed them for a while.

01:25:56Is that what Hitchcock would do?

01:25:58Probably.

01:26:11It's a long ride, isn't it?

01:26:16Would you like a Malamar cookie?

01:26:18They're my favorites.

01:26:20No, thank you.

01:26:24Would you like some milk?

01:26:26No, I'm fine.

01:26:28I'm not hungry.

01:26:30I'm not hungry.

01:26:32I'm not hungry.

01:26:34I'm not hungry.

01:26:36I'm not hungry.

01:26:37I'm not hungry.

01:26:38I'm not hungry.

01:26:41You like traveling by bus?

01:26:44Not really.

01:26:45Why not?

01:26:47Because I do not like being sexually harassed by strange men,

01:26:51so could you please leave me alone?

01:26:53Me?

01:26:55Yes, you.

01:26:57You're kidding, aren't you?

01:26:59I am not kidding, and if you don't stop coming on,

01:27:02I'm going to tell the driver. Now leave me alone.

01:27:07Thank you.

01:27:11Thank you very much.

01:27:17I just want you to know that's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me.

01:27:29Oh, they're cute, Tom.

01:27:31She left the bus at Springfield and rented a car.

01:27:40I will have to look around

01:27:44Until the right girl comes to town

01:27:50Now, we're on Illinois 54, headed for Flora.

01:27:54Not Florida, asshole. Flora, Illinois.

01:27:57Now, where the hell are you guys?

01:27:59We're close by, Bob.

01:28:00We'll be coming down 54 in the opposite direction in about 05 minutes.

01:28:08When we see you, we'll just blink our lights.

01:28:13Alfred Hitchcock.

01:28:15As long as we get to them at the barn before they do.

01:28:19We'll think of something.

01:28:20Damn it, how could I lose them?

01:28:22They stop for gas, we stop for gas,

01:28:24Jake stopped to take a leak, you stopped to take a leak.

01:28:29Dumb, Roger, just dumb.

01:28:31Alfred Hitchcock.

01:29:02Miss Adams?

01:29:03No, I'm post road A.

01:29:04Contact.

01:29:08There she goes.

01:29:14There goes Roger.

01:29:15Good.

01:29:16Everybody together, no loose ends.

01:29:18Roger.

01:29:19Roger.

01:29:20Roger.

01:29:21Roger.

01:29:22Roger.

01:29:23Roger.

01:29:24Roger.

01:29:25Roger.

01:29:26Roger.

01:29:27Roger.

01:29:28Roger.

01:29:29Roger.

01:29:30Everybody together, no loose ends.

01:29:31Come on.

01:29:50Hey, it's way inside.

01:29:51It's up in the loft.

01:29:52All right, thanks a lot.

01:29:53Yeah, okay.

01:30:01Roger, what are you two doing here?

01:30:03They followed you all the way here.

01:30:05Where'd you go?

01:30:06We found them.

01:30:07Here they come.

01:30:08Come on, inside the barn.

01:30:17Me up there.

01:30:19Oscar, is that you?

01:30:22It's me.

01:30:23It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

01:30:25You bring the money?

01:30:27Yeah, we brought the money,

01:30:29and we brought some papers for you to sign.

01:30:32Let me read first.

01:30:34Oh, no, don't read them, sir.

01:30:36We don't have enough time for you to read them, sir.

01:30:39If you just, just...

01:30:41Would you give him the money, please?

01:30:43Yeah.

01:30:44She's got the money for you right now, sir.

01:30:46Here's the money.

01:30:47Here's the money.

01:30:49And here's the money.

01:30:52Here's the money.

01:30:55And there, those are the papers.

01:30:58Just sign them.

01:31:02She's your woman?

01:31:04Yeah, and she's my attorney, too.

01:31:08Sign right here.

01:31:11What the hell's Tom doing?

01:31:13Siphoning a can of gasoline out of the car.

01:31:15What for?

01:31:19Jake, if they don't come out of there reasonably,

01:31:21we're going to have to scare them out.

01:31:23You got plenty, Bob.

01:31:25Just like high school, huh?

01:31:28All right, Roger.

01:31:30We know you're in there.

01:31:32You've got 30 seconds to send that Indian out of there

01:31:35with whatever you've got him to sign.

01:31:37Otherwise...

01:31:41we're going to have to smoke you out.

01:31:4530, 29, 28, 27...

01:31:5125, 24, 23, 22, 21...

01:32:01Abby, I don't believe it.

01:32:02Ralston's got a shotgun and that idiot Dickerson

01:32:04is pouring gasoline around the barn.

01:32:06They're bluffing.

01:32:07They wouldn't set fire to the barn.

01:32:09Hurry up.

01:32:10I am.

01:32:1117, 15, 16, 15.

01:32:14Ralston, that's insanity.

01:32:18That's pure, absolute insanity.

01:32:21You've got 10 seconds, Roger,

01:32:23or there's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight.

01:32:26Whatever they gave you, Chief, we'll double it.

01:32:29Five, four, three, two, one.

01:32:35How about it, Roger?

01:32:37How about if we throw in another 100,000 for you and your lady?

01:32:40Done.

01:32:42Ralston, stick your money up your ass.

01:32:48Tom, did he say what I think he said?

01:32:50I ain't sure about it.

01:32:52He teaches our children?

01:32:54Light it up.

01:32:56Light it up!

01:33:06All right, Jake, come to the front.

01:33:08We're on fire, Abby.

01:33:09The barn's on fire.

01:33:11The three of you get down below underneath this box

01:33:13and light it up.

01:33:15Get down below underneath this box

01:33:17and lie down on the floor and wait there until I get back.

01:33:20How are you going to do?

01:33:21I don't know for sure, but I'll think of something.

01:33:46Roger!

01:33:50Get in the back, quick.

01:33:52Lie down on the floor.

01:33:54Are you all right?

01:34:00Roger!

01:34:02Cover all shit!

01:34:04Shoot!

01:34:06You assholes!

01:34:11Holy shit!

01:34:14Bob!

01:34:16Bob!

01:34:19Abby, are you all right?

01:34:21Oscar! Mr. Ralston!

01:34:23Yes, we're fine.

01:34:25And you're splendid.

01:34:27Oh, I love you.

01:34:29I love you, too.

01:34:30They went right through the wall!

01:34:32Right through it!

01:34:34Let's go! Let's get them!

01:34:36Let's go, Bob!

01:34:37Did you see them?

01:34:38They went right over ahead!

01:34:40What do you know, Bob? What's the matter?

01:34:42We're out of gas, Tom.

01:34:57Who's in charge here?

01:34:59Let it hereby be known on the order of Judge Hiram P. Gilliard,

01:35:02an order has been issued instructing the immediate cessation

01:35:05of the annihilation of the amphibious chihuahua mammals

01:35:07in this area for now and all time henceforth.

01:35:09What the hell does that mean?

01:35:11What it means, Charlie, is knock it off.

01:35:15It'll give us only an eight-second advantage against the Chinese,

01:35:18but what the hell, it's better than nothing.

01:35:20Absolutely right, Fred, absolutely.

01:35:22Now, we've sent up the crew to start a land survey.

01:35:24When was that, Thursday?

01:35:25Thursday morning, right.

01:35:26Thursday morning, and we'll have the results back in about three weeks.

01:35:29There is one problem, Mr. Ralston.

01:35:32What's that?

01:35:33Polar bears.

01:35:35Lots of polar bears in that area.

01:35:37So we'll get rid of them.

01:35:39We can't let a bunch of polar bears muck up the takeoffs

01:35:42and scare off the wives, can we?

01:35:44No, Fred, that's no problem. Right, Tom?

01:35:46Right, we'll get rid of them. Poison darts, cyanide.

01:35:50Fast.

01:35:51Fast and no pain.

01:35:52That's painless.

01:35:54Coffee.

01:35:55Come in, Mary.

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