Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00And there's no other place that I'd rather be, in the entire world, except right there.
00:19Elliot, the last five years have been incredible, and I know I've been talking about maybe moving
00:34or shifting careers, but the more I think about our lives, and where we're heading,
00:40is...
00:41Water?
00:55But considering everything, there's really only one last choice to make, and that is...
01:00Elliot.
01:01Yes!
01:02Yes, there wasn't time to yet.
01:03How cute is that?
01:18And with everything that's happening, I was just wondering if...
01:25I do!
01:26I do!
01:27Oh my god!
01:28I do!
01:29This place is so romantic.
01:38Now, what were you saying?
01:42What I'm trying to say is...
01:45Elliot.
01:46Lucia!
01:47I've been waiting my whole life for you, and I don't care if we're in the middle of our
01:52shift.
01:53I can't marry me apart from you for one moment longer.
01:57Will you marry me?
01:59Yes!
02:00Are you fucking kidding me?
02:05Did Elliot notice anything?
02:08Yeah, he noticed Hector confessing his unrequited love to Lucia after fifteen fucking years.
02:14That's what he noticed.
02:19I still think you could have proposed.
02:22I mean, it's not like you got cold feet.
02:25Huh.
02:26Well, you know how you can get.
02:30Um, you know, you have to make one big decision and suddenly all the possibilities start going
02:35through your head.
02:36All the doubts and worries.
02:39I mean, Darren, you bought that ring six months ago.
02:43Is anything going on?
02:45What's going on?
02:47Laura, I love him.
02:50I love him.
02:54Why wouldn't I want to get married?
03:16Good morning!
03:17Hey!
03:18I just got to the venue.
03:19Where are you?
03:20Home.
03:21Why?
03:23I got here early.
03:24I told you that these things always freak me out.
03:25Girl, what are you freaking out about now?
03:27Elliot.
03:28My engagement party.
03:29What are you talking about?
03:30Oh my god.
03:31I reminded you on Monday.
03:32Yeah, that you moved into today.
03:33Girl, what are you talking about?
03:34Darren and I can't wait.
03:35Elliot, get me out of here now.
03:36Okay, see you soon.
03:37Love you too.
03:38Shit.
03:39Who was that?
03:40Kayla.
03:41It's our fucking engagement party.
03:42Okay.
03:43Bye.
03:44Bye.
03:45Bye.
03:46Bye.
03:47Bye.
03:48Bye.
03:49Bye.
03:51It's Kayla.
03:52It's our fucking engagement party.
03:53She had to move it up because they mixed up her dates.
03:54Remember?
03:55No.
03:56No.
03:57No.
03:58I made us lunch reservations.
03:59And then I have a whole plan.
04:00Well, plans are changing.
04:01Elliot.
04:02She's my sister.
04:03My parents are still out of town, so we're doing a big family one in a couple of weeks.
04:09This one's only supposed to be a bunch of basic bitches getting head drunk off mimosas.
04:13You can't make me do that alone.
04:14And the buffet's over there, and you can help yourself to the bar.
04:23Oh, thank you.
04:25Next time, get here on time.
04:28Oh, and Sharon, because of your allergy, it's food that has nuts labeled so you don't have
04:39to worry.
04:40Okay?
04:41Otherwise, enjoy.
04:43And I'll see you soon for the big game.
04:44Game?
04:45Oh.
04:46Right.
04:47Are you kidding?
04:48You know I hate being on stage.
04:49Aren't there any other couples here?
04:50You're the brother of the pride.
04:51Hey.
04:52Hey.
04:53Look at me.
04:54Look at me.
04:55It's not that big of a deal.
04:56Okay?
04:57Okay?
04:58I promise.
04:59Hey.
05:00Hey.
05:01Hey.
05:02Hey.
05:03Hey.
05:04Hey.
05:05Hey.
05:06Hey.
05:07Hey.
05:08Hey.
05:09Hey.
05:10Hey.
05:12Ladies and gentlemen.
05:15Relationships of all ages.
05:17I am proud to present the infamous prenuptial ritual of the nearly wedding.
05:33You know the rules.
05:34I'll ask a question and you guess what your significant other would answer.
05:39Sudden death till there's one couple standing.
05:41And here we go.
05:43Shoot.
05:44This came with a box set.
05:55Ball up for the ladies.
05:58Where did your future husband take you on your first date?
06:02Couple number one?
06:04Oh.
06:05Um.
06:06Do it for pink.
06:07Oh, question for pink.
06:08Oh, gender neutral pink.
06:10Millennial pink.
06:11Millennial pink.
06:16Our first date was Amsterdam Tavern, Morningside Heights.
06:24Which is now closed thanks to gentrification.
06:27That is correct.
06:29See, I told you it wasn't so bad, right?
06:32Question number two for the gents.
06:35Who wants kids more?
06:37You or her?
06:40Couple number one?
06:42Who's her?
06:43My mom?
06:44Because she cannot wait until she has grandchildren.
06:49But, if I was thinking about us, I would say...
06:55Darren?
07:06All tied up.
07:08For our third question, each couple will answer at the same time.
07:12And this might be a leg up for our guest of honor.
07:16Where is your dream wedding destination?
07:26Kayla and Ron?
07:28Her hometown.
07:30Wonder who got the upper hand there.
07:32Jerry and Kamala?
07:34Financial district.
07:36Alright.
07:38Darren and Elliot?
07:39Punta Cana.
07:42Oh, our first elimination.
07:46And a 20,000 mile one at that.
07:49Punta Cana?
07:50I knew I always dreamed of going to that destination.
07:53You hate humidity.
07:54Thanks for playing.
07:55Thanks for playing.
08:03Well, that wasn't that bad, was it?
08:07What's wrong with you?
08:09I shouldn't have come.
08:11I thought it was pretty nice.
08:13I mean, this is the first time that we get to be in the spotlight as a couple.
08:16I mean, we never get to do that.
08:18Then why does it have to feel so humiliating?
08:21Okay.
08:22If you can't even get through this now, then what's going to happen when we actually get married?
08:27That is, if you ever get the nerve to pop the question.
08:33Come on.
08:35It's cute letting you think you're being all secretive.
08:37But there's been plenty of times where I'm thinking it's just about to happen.
08:41And you got me out here looking like...
08:42Elliot, the last few days have had the absolute worst timing.
08:45Hey, I think a big gesture is romantic.
08:49But there comes a time when you have to ask yourself if it's really just about the timing.
08:54And then something like this happens, and it's like...
08:56Do you even want to get married?
08:58I can't breathe.
08:59Okay, knock it off.
09:00Look at me.
09:01No, I think my throat is closing.
09:05Shit!
09:06Oh, my God.
09:07What do we do?
09:08What do we do?
09:09EpiPen!
09:12No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:14Hey, just keep breathing.
09:15We have time.
09:17You have to do it until it clicks.
09:19I know, I know.
09:20Just don't scream, okay?
09:21I don't scream.
09:22One...
09:23Two...
09:24Are you guys okay?
09:25Ah!
09:28Ah!
09:47Are you sure you're okay?
09:48Yes.
09:50Okay, but, like, I bring up marriage one time and you literally go into anaphylactic shock.
10:00You really knew every time I tried?
10:04I just thought you wanted it to be perfect.
10:12I might go see Laura.
10:14See you at home?
10:17Okay.
10:23And it was horrible.
10:24I mean, yeah, your throat started closing.
10:26No, the engagement party.
10:29First of all, there were these pink and blue ladies and all these people were watching me and judging me.
10:36So it was some awful engagement party.
10:38Maybe just don't get so worked up over it.
10:41There's just been so much stupid shit that's been getting to me lately and I don't know why.
10:47I came out when I was 17, right?
10:49But ever since then, I feel like I still have to come out all the time.
10:54Like at the engagement party?
10:55No, like at the grocery store.
10:57Some old woman says, you're gonna make some lucky lady happy one day.
11:02Or the guy at the deli asks if the flowers I'm buying are for my girlfriend.
11:06Or even at some stupid fucking engagement party, I'm surrounded by all this shit.
11:11And even though it's nothing I hide, I feel like I'm always micro-coming out over and over again.
11:18So then just tell them you're gay and be done with it.
11:21It's not about that.
11:23It's one thing to make small talk about the weather or something, but this is...
11:28This is...
11:29Different?
11:30Personal.
11:32And I feel like people are always staring at me and making me talk about it and looking at me weirdly on the street.
11:40So that's why you don't want to get married?
11:43Huh?
11:44Well, if you get married, you know, you'd be the one who's the center of attention.
11:49Not even just that day, but like the months before.
11:51And, you know, the whole time there'd be people looking at you and talking to you and asking you all about it.
11:57Well, I'm sorry that if you decide to get married, everything would already be figured out.
12:01Because aside from all the little details, you know that you'd wear a white dress and he'd wear black tux.
12:06And all your bridesmaids would be on one side and the groomsmen on the other.
12:09That's not what I meant.
12:10And here I am getting criticized just because I want it to be perfect.
12:13But it's not supposed to be perfect.
12:16And it's definitely not supposed to be about how you split up the bridesmaids or who walks down the aisle first or any of that shit.
12:23Just do whatever the fuck you want.
12:26And, you know, above all, marriage is about commitment.
12:28It's about who you want to see the first moment you wake up every morning.
12:32The person who'll stab you with an EpiPen and then let you meet up with your best friend if you need to cool off.
12:38You know what? To be honest, no one else seems to have a problem with you getting married.
12:43If anyone has a problem with it, maybe it's just you.
12:56I have to go.
12:57No, Darren. Darren, come on.
13:09Hey, Darren, right?
13:12Yeah.
13:14Alright.
13:18How you doing this evening, man? How's your night going?
13:22Amazing.
13:24Sounds good. Sounds good to me, man.
13:27Yep.
13:28Good evening. It's nice out tonight, huh?
13:31Yeah. Long day for me, man. Been busy.
13:34But, hey, I ain't complaining. Had a client take me in from Jersey, so I figured why not spend the evening here, right?
13:42Yeah.
13:43You know, driving in the city's not as bad as I thought it was.
13:45It's a little scary when you get next to those bus drivers, though, huh?
13:48Look at that, man. It's crazy. Crazy.
13:51Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
13:53So, uh, I don't come into the city that often, but I figure I'll make a night out of it, hang out a little bit.
13:58You have any good spots I should go to? Any place to meet the ladies, if you know what I'm saying?
14:03Hey, buddy.
14:05What?
14:07Uh, I'm not from around here, so do you have any suggestions, places I should go?
14:11You know, I'm trying to meet some girls, hang out, have some fun, you know what I mean?
14:17Do ya?
14:19Hey, buddy.
14:20No. I don't.
14:23Because I'm gay.
14:25Okay?
14:29Okay. That's fine.
14:32That's cool with me, man. It's cool.
15:02Okay.
15:20Yeah.
15:22Yeah.
15:26Yeah.
15:32Yeah.
15:43Tell me.
15:58Darren, you're gonna get yourself killed.
16:01Get over here.
16:03Darren.
16:05Darren.
16:07Dar-
16:31Darren.
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17:27Darren.