Excerpt from The Defense is Ready: Life in the Trenches of Criminal Law by Leslie Abramson:
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LearningTranscript
00:00You said at some point your father had anal sex with you. Is that right?
00:17Yes.
00:18And how old do you believe you were when that happened?
00:22I was in sixth grade. I guess, I'm pretty sure I was twelve.
00:28And was that within a year of the episode you previously described at eleven?
00:34Yes.
00:38Now you've mentioned earlier that he had made some efforts to accomplish anal intercourse with you that had been unsuccessful because it hurt you?
00:49Yes.
00:50And therefore he had stopped?
00:52Yes.
00:53And that was before the incident when you were eleven when he was violent, is that right?
00:58Yes.
01:02Now, when you were twelve, do you recall the day that he succeeded?
01:15Yes.
01:16And was that a gentle process or not?
01:20No, not at all.
01:21What was it, Mr. Menendez?
01:24It was very, very painful.
01:28And do you know if on that occasion anyone else was in the home besides yourself and your father?
01:36No, I was alone in the house with my dad.
01:40Now, was there a part of your bed that was removable?
01:48Yes.
01:49And what was that part?
01:51It was a wooden slat that, there were many of them under my bed, but he had taken one off and left it off.
01:59He being whom?
02:00My father.
02:01And when had he done that, removed one and left it off?
02:06Early on.
02:08I don't know what that means.
02:10Early on, when I was, I guess I was, before anything bad started to happen.
02:15Before you were eleven?
02:16Yes.
02:17But you were living in Pennington?
02:18Yes.
02:19And what would he do with the slat that he took off from the bed?
02:23He would wedge it underneath the door on a doorknob on the carpet.
02:29So that no one could open the door from the outside?
02:32Yes.
02:34And I think you've already said your mother never came to the door anyway.
02:38No.
02:39So did you have in mind at the time who that slat was supposed to keep out?
02:44Well, I thought it was to keep out anyone from coming in the room.
02:47It just happened that no one came to the room ever.
02:49But I didn't, I didn't know.
02:52Who were the candidates?
02:53Who were the other people who lived in this house?
02:55My mother and my brother.
02:57And at some time, Diane.
03:00When Diane lived with you?
03:01Yes.
03:06Now on this particular occasion, nobody else is home?
03:09No.
03:10No?
03:11No one else is home.
03:13Okay.
03:14And do you recall basically what happened?
03:18Yes.
03:20Basically what happened?
03:22My dad came in and told me to take off my clothes and to kneel on the bed.
03:27And he closed the blinds and he put the slat underneath the door like he always did.
03:34And he told me to bend over the footboard.
03:38This bed had a footboard and a headboard?
03:40Yes.
03:41And did you know what it meant to be told to bend over the footboard?
03:47Yes.
03:48He had had you do that before?
03:49Yes.
03:50That's when he tried to have sex with me but wasn't able to.
03:54And did your father put anything on you or ask you to put anything on you?
04:01This time he just did it himself.
04:03Usually he told me to.
04:06What was it that was put on you?
04:08He had a Vaseline jar.
04:10And in the past when he had tried to do this he had had you put the Vaseline on?
04:15Yes.
04:16He puts them on himself and he had me put them on myself.
04:21On this occasion he put it on you?
04:23Yes.
04:24And what happened?
04:26And he lined himself up and he started going into me like he had always done.
04:32But this time he was going in too far.
04:35And I said, Dad, please stop.
04:38And I said, Dad, you're hurting me.
04:40And he just kept on going further.
04:42At one point I just started screaming and I started saying, stop, it hurts, it hurts.
04:46And he just went all the way in.
04:50And did that hurt?
04:51Yes.
04:52And how did you react to that pain?
04:54I just sort of died off.
04:56I stopped screaming and I just sort of left myself.
05:02You left yourself?
05:03I just pretended that it wasn't happening.
05:05I pretended that the pain wasn't happening and I just went away in my mind.
05:10It was too painful.
05:12When it was over did you cry?
05:15I was crying during it.
05:17Okay.
05:19And after it was over were you still crying?
05:24Yes.
05:27And did your father say anything to you at that time?
05:30Yeah, he had a towel on the bed and he put the towel on the bed
05:33and he had me sit on the towel so that I wouldn't get anything on the bed.
05:37And he said very calmly and looked at me and told me to look him in the eyes.
05:42And he said, next time you ever scream or yell I'm going to beat you so bad
05:46you'll never be able to scream or yell again.
05:51Did it occur to you, did something occur to you about this episode
05:57concerning why he had gone ahead when you were in pain?
06:02Yes.
06:03What was that?
06:04It was because when I had screamed or yelled or cried out before
06:10he had told me that if I ever did that he was going to go all the way inside of me.
06:15That was on a previous occasion when he was trying to do this?
06:18Yes.
06:21So he kept his word?
06:23Yes.
06:25Did you believe, Mr. Menendez, as you were growing up
06:28that your father was a person who would make good on his threats?
06:32Oh, yes.
06:40Now, did your father in this particular conversation after this episode
06:49Your father said to you that if you scream again he'll make sure he hits you
06:54hard enough that you won't be able to cry or scream again?
06:58Yes.
06:59And did he explain to you whose fault that would be?
07:02Yes, he asked me whose fault it would be.
07:04He asked me if I understood and I said yes.
07:06And he said, so if I ever do that do you understand whose fault it will be
07:10or do you know why it will happen?
07:12And I said yes.
07:14Okay.
07:16And what did you, whose fault would it be?
07:19He made it very clear that it would be my fault.
07:22And I understood that it would.
07:24What did you do, if anything, after this episode?
07:30Did your father leave after he had told you it would be your fault?
07:33Yes, he left and he closed the door.
07:36And when he told you this about whose fault it would be,
07:39what kind of mood was he in?
07:42He was in a very stern, very serious, very strong mood.
07:50And what did you do after he had left?
07:53I sort of waited outside the door in my bedroom,
07:57listening to see where he had gone and then just went to my bathroom
08:00and got in the tub.
08:02Took a bath?
08:03I took a hot bath and just promised myself to do whatever he wanted,
08:07never to scream, never to yell, never to cry,
08:10just do what he wanted when it happened.
08:14Now over the preceding couple of years,
08:17you're talking about now you're 12 when this happened, is that right?
08:20Yes.
08:21Over the previous couple of years,
08:24in the incidents with your father, had the talking stopped?
08:32Oh, yes.
08:33No, he told me that he didn't want me to say a word when he spoke
08:37and he talked about silence.
08:39When he talked, he would talk,
08:42but he would never want me to say a word unless he spoke to me.
08:46And when he talked, he would give me lectures about silence,
08:49about the Romans, about the Greeks.
08:52He would lecture me about different things.
08:54During the sex or during the visits that included sex, is that true?
08:58Either while I was getting dressed or while I was undressing,
09:03sometimes in the middle, but usually not.
09:06And were you allowed to talk?
09:08No, not unless I was asked a question.
09:12And did silence become the pattern?
09:16Yes, he told me all about silence.
09:18What about silence, Mr. Menendez, what did he tell you?
09:21He told me that silence was the greatest thing that man had.
09:25He said that it was the greatest power that anyone could achieve
09:29and that with silence you could control anyone.
09:34And was there a time then when the sexual episodes with your father
09:38were totally and completely silent?
09:42Yes.
09:43When he would say nothing whatsoever?
09:45Yes, then it wouldn't be silent.
09:47And you would say nothing whatsoever?
09:49Yes.
09:55Now, was there a time when the sexual incidents
10:01that you have called nice sex began?