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00:00Ah, Vijay, ah!
00:03Move!
00:09Vijay!
00:11Hey, Vijay!
00:25Today, on stage is Karthik's mother.
00:29I am his mother.
00:32And in front of me is Egypt's mother.
00:40Looks like, brother,
00:42today we have come to the Great Indian Mummy Show.
00:50Show, show, show, show.
00:52Show, show, show.
00:57Show, show, show.
01:00Thank you, family, say.
01:02And to all the people who have come,
01:05Namaskar.
01:07Sat Sri Akal.
01:09Aadab.
01:11Kem show.
01:13Haan.
01:20Kedo hal haan, kedo hal haan.
01:23Kedo hal haan.
01:26Vanakam haan.
01:28Vanakam, vanakam.
01:32Bas ho gaya.
01:33Bas ho gaya.
01:38Namaskar ho gaya, bhai.
01:39Namaskar ho gaya, namaskar ho gaya.
01:43Sattar minutes.
01:46Sattar minutes.
01:47Bina ruke lagataar,
01:49mera bhai namaste bol sakta hai.
01:52Isi liye ise,
01:53rokhna partha.
01:57Rukhum.
01:59Rukhum.
02:00Rukhum.
02:06Dekh rahe hain na.
02:07Mane kaha tha ke mere Karan, Arjun.
02:13Mane kaha tha ke mere Karan, Arjun.
02:15Aage, wo aage hain.
02:17Dharti ka seena cheer ke aaye hain.
02:19Yeh, yeh, yeh.
02:21Yeh, kya laga rakha hai.
02:22Bar bar, dharti ka seena cheer kar aayenge.
02:24Dharti ka seena cheer kar aayenge.
02:26Hum tumhare bachche hain,
02:27ya mooli ke bachche hain.
02:37Hum kya mooli ke bachche hain?
02:38I don't know.
02:39Jo rojh subah dharti ka seena cheer kar aaye hain.
02:41Dharti ka seena cheer kar.
02:55I don't like this shit, man.
02:56I don't like this shit.
03:02Dekh rahe hain aap,
03:03kaise nikam mein bachche hain mere.
03:05Inse maine kaha hain,
03:06ke Durjan se
03:07badla leke aao.
03:08Aaj tak badla nahi leke aao.
03:09Aaj tak badla hai ya dahi hai,
03:10jo rojh subah lene jayenge.
03:14Perfect.
03:16Aapki mummy ne aapse kaha,
03:18ke degree leke aao.
03:19To aap engineer ban gaye.
03:21Yeh rojh subah uthke humein kehti hai,
03:23Durjan se badla leke aao,
03:25isiliye hum
03:26gunte ban gaye hain.
03:34Kaise kismat hai mere.
03:37Saari zindagi mein,
03:38thoop mein,
03:39logon ke kapde silti rahein.
03:41Taaki inhe chhaun me le,
03:43yeh chhaun me rahein bas.
03:45D3 ki kamiya humein ho gayi hai,
03:46samjhi tum.
03:52Khud ka, khud ka, khud ka,
03:53poora hai iska.
03:57Tumhari ek baat bataun.
04:00Tumhari ek baat bataun.
04:07Tumhari ek baat bataun.
04:25Kya bete, kya bata raha hai?
04:26Main, main iski,
04:28iski,
04:29baat bataun chahato.
04:33Yeh pata hai, aunty,
04:35bachwan mein paise bachane ke liye kya karti thi?
04:38Hum dono ko yeh kapil me le mein chhodaati thi.
04:41Aur kehti thi,
04:42jalebi ki dukaan ke saamne khade hoke rote rehna,
04:45ke meri maa khogayi hai, meri maa khogayi hai,
04:47koi na koi tumhe jalebi khila ke chala jayega.
04:54Aur phir,
04:55main aade ghante baad aaungi,
04:56aade ghante tak tum,
04:58kahaan rehti thi?
05:01Kahaan rehti thi?
05:03Kahaan rehti thi?
05:08Main, main bhi beta,
05:10main bhi jaake bhatura wale ke saamne rote thi,
05:13ke meri bache khogayi hai,
05:15toh koi na koi mujhe bhatura khila jayega.
05:18I don't like this shit, man.
05:27Aur mein se kitne pratishan log sochte hain,
05:29ke unki mummiya bhi aise karte hain.
05:34I don't like this.
05:37Don't trouble your mother,
05:39trouble my mother.
05:44Aisam so,
05:46seekho zara kya, hath, hath, hath.
05:56Kya gir gaya abhi?
05:57Beta, tu leak kar raha hai, beta.
06:05Car gift se seekho, beta.
06:07Apni maa ko car gift ki hai, isne.
06:10Aur main isse kehati hoon,
06:11yeh jaake lala se mere sona ke kangan lehao,
06:13peetal ke kangan lekar aaye yeh.
06:16Aau toh kam se kam,
06:17humne tumhe peetal ke kangan diye.
06:19Unhone toh apni mummi ko,
06:21copper ki car diye.
06:23Wo bhi mini, mini copper.
06:28Hain.
06:31Hain ke nahin?
06:33Tekin Karthik,
06:34itni frustration mein itni cool kaise rehte hoon tum?
06:37Cool nahin hoon, sir.
06:38Cool nahin hoon.
06:40Thanda hoon.
06:42I don't like her.
06:44That's why.
06:45Haan?
06:46I don't like her.
06:47Karthik,
06:48aap kaise poora family milke,
06:49apne pet ka khayal rakte hain,
06:51yeh jono milke mere ek
06:52pet ka khayal nahin rak paate hain.
06:54Toh maa farak hota hain,
06:55maa farak hota hain.
06:56Iss cheez mein?
06:57Unka pet kathori hain,
06:59tumhara pet patheela hain.
07:01Farak hota hain.
07:04Farak hota hain.
07:07Farak hota hain.
07:09Yeh mat pulao beta,
07:11yeh dono lote bhi
07:12usi patheela se nikla hai.
07:15Yeh mat pulao beta,
07:17yeh dono lote bhi
07:18usi patheela se nikla hai.
07:26Aur main kaun sa
07:27bahot saara khaane ke liye maang rahe hoon.
07:29Mujhe bas chakna hota hai.
07:31Chakne ke saath soda bhi chahiye hota hai tumko.
07:33Adiya chahiye hota hai.
07:35Yeh dono,
07:36dono use karte hain.
07:38I don't like this shit, man.
07:40Come on.
07:44Superb!
07:49Karthik,
07:53yeh...
08:03Krishna!
08:09Yeh aurat ameza kehti rahi,
08:11mere kangan chudwa do,
08:12mere kangan chudwa do,
08:13kabhi yeh nikha
08:14ke mere daru chudwa do.
08:17Old monk kahin ki.
08:26Yeh, yeh,
08:27idhar hain, idhar hain.
08:28Yeh bitho, idhar hain.
08:29Bol.
08:30Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
08:31Bol.
08:32Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
08:33Bol.
08:35Karthik se dara seekh kuch.
08:38Kitna pyaar se Karthik ne.
08:43Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
09:06Yeh mere dono bete
09:07raita ki tarah
09:08phelte kyu ja rahe hain?
09:11Karthik se seekh kuch.
09:12Karthik se seekh kuch.
09:13Karthik se seekh kuch.
09:15Isne kis tarah paal pooske
09:16apne mummy papa ko
09:17doctor banaya?
09:18Paal pooske?
09:26Kuch karun?
09:27Isne kuch karun?
09:28Bolo kuch?
09:29Mummy papa ko
09:30doctor nahi banaya.
09:31Mummy papa ne
09:32inko engineer banaya.
09:34Toh beta, tum dono ne
09:35milke mujhe engineer
09:36kyu nahi banaya?
09:42Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
09:49Oh my God!
09:56Oh my God!
09:59Oh my God!
10:02Beko,
10:05aap moh phil
10:06mool bolai yahan mein?
10:12Oh my God!
10:15Oh my God!