Australian film released in 1971
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You ever feel guilty, Westy boy?
00:00:21Oh, bloody oats, no.
00:00:23A few beers with lunch helps the brain, I always find.
00:00:27No, no.
00:00:29Working in the automotive industry.
00:00:31It says here, we're helping to irretrievably
00:00:35pollute the biosphere.
00:00:38Well, not me, mate.
00:00:40I haven't done a scrap of work for 18 months.
00:00:43And neither have you.
00:00:46That's true, that's true.
00:00:50Hey, did you hear the boss got stuck in me about my hair?
00:00:53No.
00:00:54Yeah, cut it, he said.
00:00:55Cut it.
00:00:56Oh, jeez, I wouldn't stand for that, mate.
00:00:58Don't worry, mate.
00:00:58Not me, not the old stork.
00:01:00I mean, if you've got something they want,
00:01:01then you don't have to let them push you around.
00:01:03Look, mate, we're as scarce as hens, bloody teeth.
00:01:06Oh, I know, mate, I know.
00:01:07Why do you think they're up there at the university
00:01:09sniffing around months ahead of exam time?
00:01:11Because we're as scarce as hens, bloody teeth.
00:01:14We're as scarce as hens, bloody teeth.
00:01:16We've got four years of specialist knowledge up there.
00:01:18Well, we don't often use it, but it's always there
00:01:20if they want it, and that is the point.
00:01:22That is the bloody point.
00:01:23They can't afford to push us around.
00:01:25They're buying our brains, boy, and it's our bloody business
00:01:28if we get to grow a little bit of insulation.
00:01:31Can't make us do anything.
00:01:36Can't make me wear a coat and tie if I don't want to.
00:01:39Of course not.
00:01:43Don't want to.
00:01:44We've gone over a barrel of storks.
00:01:49Can't make me wear a shirt if I don't want to.
00:01:52I'd better not try, boy.
00:01:54Don't want to.
00:02:00Every man has the right to his own individuality.
00:02:05That's why a man has to wear long, bloody dacks
00:02:08in the middle of the summer, aye?
00:02:11Bloody absurd.
00:02:22God, stork!
00:02:23We're going to have to let them push us around, Westy boy.
00:02:25They'll take me as I am, or they won't take me at all.
00:02:32Oh, Markoon, we know a thing or two.
00:02:34They're getting at you, boy.
00:02:37Cut your hair, change the clothes you wear.
00:02:39They treat you like a toy.
00:02:41Let's get off on a big machine.
00:02:43They don't always stand for club or bean.
00:02:45We gotta create our own scene.
00:02:47They're getting, getting at you, boy.
00:02:53What did I hear you say?
00:02:55You never heard a shade.
00:02:56They're getting at you, stork.
00:02:58Well, join the revolution.
00:03:00Against crap, against pollution.
00:03:03Let's head off where the air's still clean.
00:03:05They don't know if they'll come or bean.
00:03:07We gotta create our own scene.
00:03:10They're getting at you, boy.
00:03:11Who'd you hope for now except Chairman Mao?
00:03:14They're getting at you, boy.
00:03:16They don't believe the air they breathe.
00:03:18They've nothing to enjoy.
00:03:21Well, hire a jeep and hit the track.
00:03:23Get some land, knock off a shack.
00:03:25They'll never find us way out back.
00:03:27They're getting, getting at you, boy.
00:03:33What did I hear you say?
00:03:35You never heard a shade.
00:03:36They're getting at you, stork.
00:03:38Well, join the revolution.
00:03:40Against crap, against pollution.
00:03:43Let's head off where the air's still clean.
00:03:45They don't know if they'll come or bean.
00:03:47We gotta create our own scene.
00:03:49They're getting at you, boy.
00:03:52Home off to a new thing or two.
00:03:54They're getting at you, boy.
00:03:56Cut your hair, change the clothes you wear.
00:03:58They treat you like a toy.
00:04:01Let's get off on a big machine.
00:04:03They don't know if they'll come or bean.
00:04:05We gotta create our own scene.
00:04:07They're getting, getting at you, boy.
00:04:12Stork, stork, stork.
00:04:22Stork.
00:04:37What can I say?
00:04:39No.
00:04:39He's lost his job.
00:04:41He's three bloody miles long.
00:04:42Where are we gonna put the bastard up?
00:04:43Well, he could kill up on the couch.
00:04:44Okay.
00:04:45But when someone asks to stay, ask us first.
00:04:48Hey, do me up, will you?
00:04:50What's the trouble?
00:04:51No trouble.
00:04:52We just got a six-foot-seven deranged revolutionary
00:04:55called Stork coming to stay the night.
00:04:58Who's Stork?
00:05:05That Stork?
00:05:06Who's got a bloody bottle opener?
00:05:08Good day, Stork.
00:05:09Don't good day me, boy.
00:05:10Just get me a bloody bottle opener.
00:05:14Hey.
00:05:15Great bird.
00:05:16This is Anna Stork.
00:05:18Who's the lucky man?
00:05:28Yeah.
00:05:29On with the both of them.
00:05:31I wouldn't put it as bluntly as that.
00:05:32Call a spade a spade, mole.
00:05:35Woo-ha!
00:05:36The old man is like Troy, eh?
00:05:39What a bloody set-up.
00:05:42Hey, what's the smell?
00:05:43What smell?
00:05:45The smell, boy.
00:05:45I've got me a great nose for a smell.
00:05:47And there's a smell.
00:05:48I'm not staying out here long if that keeps up.
00:05:51I think I can smell something.
00:05:53There's a beer.
00:05:54I'll get it in you.
00:05:58Westy?
00:05:59Oh, not before a meal, Stork.
00:06:00Now, don't give me that.
00:06:05What is that smell?
00:06:06Oh, I don't know.
00:06:09Got any luggage?
00:06:10Stork travels light, boy.
00:06:12Clothes he wears in half a day.
00:06:14Get stuck into it, Clyde.
00:06:15You too, Anna?
00:06:16No, thank you.
00:06:18Now, don't get snaky with me, mole.
00:06:20Anna doesn't touch.
00:06:22Bloody poser.
00:06:23Yes, well, I think I'll leave you gentlemen to it.
00:06:28Knows her place.
00:06:33Walked out of GMH today.
00:06:35We know.
00:06:37I've dropped out.
00:06:39Get me some gear, a few beads.
00:06:42Off to the Ganges as soon as I can raise the fare.
00:06:45Might even do Australia on a machine.
00:07:14About this as far as you come, boy.
00:07:17What's up, Halberd?
00:07:18Get inside, Madge.
00:07:20I just caught one of these six crazy young babies.
00:07:27So, you've left General Motors?
00:07:30Booted out.
00:07:31Good place to be booted out of, too.
00:07:32First to go come the revolution.
00:07:35Revolution?
00:07:36Bloody oath.
00:07:37Everything's got to go, boy.
00:07:38Tear down the old and let the new evolve.
00:07:40Hey, you're a bullharder, Stork.
00:07:41When was the last time you manned the barricades?
00:07:44Are you trying to deny that this society is sick and rotten to the core, Clyde?
00:07:48Old Stork wouldn't know an anarchist from an orifice.
00:07:50Now, look, boy, I've got a file on me.
00:07:52Which of you have got a bloody file?
00:07:54I probably have got a file on the bastard, too, you know.
00:07:56The trouble with you buggers is that you're embedded in the system.
00:07:59Read Mark Hughes, boy.
00:08:00They're getting her to your being manipulated.
00:08:04Hey, how's the mole situation around here?
00:08:07What?
00:08:08Well, I thought you might be able to fix me up with a hot mole in the flats around here.
00:08:12Sure, maybe you'd like Anna.
00:08:14No, no, no, no, no.
00:08:15Thanks all the same.
00:08:18Hey, how do you two work on a roster system?
00:08:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:08:27And again, I must admit she is a beautiful woman, loaded with bourgeois affectations, of course.
00:08:32But then again, a little bit of the old bourgeois affectation turns me on, too.
00:08:39You think that's strange?
00:08:40Oh, shut up, Stork.
00:08:41I mean, I mean, if I was a real gut socialist, I'd want to smash every socially affected bitch I met,
00:08:47but instead of that, I just, just want to...
00:08:52Now, your talk is mightier than your stork, boy.
00:08:55Probably means I've got a socioeconomic hang-up.
00:08:59Hey, how do they, how do they decide who gets what and where?
00:09:06Oh, shut up, Stork.
00:09:12Anna has a delicate little emotional compass in her head, sir.
00:09:15She says sometimes it points to Tony and sometimes it points to me.
00:09:19Is that what she tells you?
00:09:20Word for word.
00:09:21What a load of crap!
00:09:26Well, she is inclined to dramatize.
00:09:28Aye, aye.
00:09:30And it's a comfortable renew tonight, aye?
00:09:33It's bloody fascinating, both of you in the same house.
00:09:38It's bloody fascinating!
00:09:54Well, a bloody heartless lot you turned out to be.
00:09:56What?
00:09:58Anyone with any sensitivity would realize that a man who won't eat breakfast is emitting a cry of psychological pain.
00:10:04We thought you had a hangover.
00:10:06Hey, drop us off here, Anna.
00:10:08Mark Hooser's on to this, boy.
00:10:10Right on to it.
00:10:11Under capitalism, man is encouraged to no longer feel responsible to his fellow man.
00:10:19You been looking for a job today?
00:10:21I dropped out, boy, I dropped out.
00:10:23After the Ganges?
00:10:24Oh, I don't know. I've heard a lot of things against the Ganges.
00:10:27The Indians crapping it.
00:10:29Well, it is their river.
00:10:31Listen, if you decide to change your mind, shoot into the sportsman's club about two o'clock.
00:10:35You might be able to fix you up with a job, right?
00:10:42Anywhere in particular?
00:10:44Drive, Mull, drive.
00:10:46Leave our past behind us.
00:10:50Well, actually, I'm only going as far as the uni.
00:10:54That'll do.
00:11:05Today, we are going to lay out Abraham Matslow on the table of the intellect and bring to bear our scalpels of the mind.
00:11:35Who will make the first incision?
00:11:53Come on, come on.
00:11:55The psychology is the study of the mind.
00:11:59We're not here for decoration.
00:12:01Although I must admit that some of you are.
00:12:06Quite decorative.
00:12:09And some of you aren't.
00:12:16Perhaps we will start with this young gentleman here.
00:12:21What young man do you know of Abraham Matslow?
00:12:27He's Jewish.
00:12:29Oh, very good. Very good.
00:12:33Something else, perhaps.
00:12:36He's a Jewish psychologist.
00:12:39We have a giant intelligence here.
00:12:42Truly.
00:12:44If one puts one's ear close to the skull, one can almost hear the warring of neural activity.
00:12:55What, young man, are your thoughts on Matslow's motivational hierarchy?
00:13:00If one looks closely at Matslow's middle level, what does one see?
00:13:06I reckon he gets a little bit hairy around that area.
00:13:11You're suggesting that his thoughts are a little tentative.
00:13:15Doesn't wash with me, mate.
00:13:17I see.
00:13:20And if we look at Matslow's lower levels, has he enough support?
00:13:25Hasn't he can always wear a jockstrap.
00:13:34I see we have a comedian in our midst.
00:13:37Are you aware, young man, that we have a lady of the cloth present who may find your humour somewhat offensive?
00:13:42There's nothing offensive about a jockstrap.
00:13:45It's what's in it you've got to worry about.
00:13:47I would suggest, sir, that you are a fool and a buffoon and a nuisance.
00:13:50And I would also suggest that you keep your mouth shut for the remainder of the lecture.
00:13:54And I would suggest, sir, that you stop perving on the mole.
00:13:56What?
00:13:57Keep your eyes off, Anna.
00:13:58I beg your pardon.
00:13:59I'm paying good tax money to support you, boy, and I'm paying you to teach, not to perve on the mole.
00:14:03Who is this man?
00:14:04I've never seen him before.
00:14:05Bloody squealer.
00:14:06Marc Hughes is on to you a lot.
00:14:08I'm certain he doesn't attend lectures.
00:14:10Marc Hughes?
00:14:11Yes, sir.
00:14:12I'm sure he doesn't attend lectures.
00:14:14What?
00:14:15I'm certain he doesn't attend lectures.
00:14:17Marc Hughes is on to you, too.
00:14:19I must ask you to leave.
00:14:21Can you design a four-speed synchromesh gearbox?
00:14:24What?
00:14:25Oh, yeah.
00:14:45Please.
00:14:58Hey, here's one that would suit your stalk.
00:15:01The Australian Council of Trade Unions is advertising for an assistant secretary.
00:15:14All right, Dick.
00:15:33Wage justice.
00:15:35We'd like to, Graham, but the big boys are leaning on us.
00:15:39Do you know what, Dick?
00:15:41What?
00:15:42Nothing but a hiling of the oppressors.
00:15:45Take away your title.
00:15:47Take away your wig.
00:15:49Take away your robes.
00:15:50And what have you got?
00:15:51Six months for indecent exposure.
00:15:54Hey, how about this one, Stork?
00:15:56Engineers required for Australian prosperity in Antarctica.
00:16:02Give it a rest.
00:16:04A hundred degrees below and no miles.
00:16:15How's the fuel?
00:16:18We'll offer a week if we're lucky.
00:16:22The fuel will last four days for the three of us.
00:16:28If there were two of us, it could last a week.
00:16:38Well, fellas, I think I'll take a little walk in the snow.
00:16:44I may be gone a while.
00:16:49Stork boy, I'll write you into my memoirs.
00:16:53Two chapters.
00:16:55Farewell, mate.
00:16:58Easy, boy, easy.
00:16:59I'm just going to strangle a ducky.
00:17:01But you said you'd be gone a while.
00:17:03I get constipated in cold weather.
00:17:25Stork, you can't go in looking like that.
00:17:28Why not?
00:17:29Look, I'm going to introduce you to my boss.
00:17:31He's a top bloody consultant.
00:17:32Come on.
00:17:35You must be joking.
00:17:36How many of them do you think are running around the city, eh?
00:17:39Watch it, fella.
00:17:41If I took a size 32 chest and stretched it on the rack for a week,
00:17:47maybe we could do something.
00:17:49Just do the best you can, will you?
00:17:55What's the weather like up there?
00:17:57Watch it, fella.
00:17:59You ever get giddy from lack of oxygen?
00:18:04Bloody little gid.
00:18:06Cut her in for me because I'm tall, fair and Nordic.
00:18:20Now, no politics and don't tell him you went to Monash.
00:18:24G'day, Alan.
00:18:39Friend of mine, Graeme Wallace.
00:18:41Top notch mechanical engineer.
00:18:44Sit down, fellas.
00:18:50Eating, fellas?
00:18:52No, no, no, no.
00:18:53Just jumping up and down.
00:18:59Three beers, thanks, and parmesan.
00:19:04What's that?
00:19:06Well, it's a veal done in wine sauce with grilled cheese on top.
00:19:17Do you serve prawns?
00:19:22Curried prawns.
00:19:24Oh, fair enough.
00:19:30You with G.M.H., Graeme?
00:19:31At the moment, at the moment.
00:19:33Not happy with him?
00:19:35Well, it's not so much that I'm unhappy with men,
00:19:37it's just that one is always looking for something a little bit more challenging.
00:19:42Quite so, quite so.
00:19:44The talk was...
00:19:47The story he told me was that there wasn't much in the way of technical innovation
00:19:51in the automotive industry at the moment, Alan.
00:19:53True, very, very true.
00:19:57Cheers.
00:20:00You having any postgraduate training in management, Graeme?
00:20:04No, I'm not really interested in management.
00:20:07Why not?
00:20:09Couldn't manage my own bowels till I was five.
00:20:18What did you want to be doing ultimately, Graeme?
00:20:29Graeme's at a decision plateau right now, Alan.
00:20:33Planning, Graeme.
00:20:35That's the name of the game.
00:20:36We have to be making these moves for the future all the time.
00:20:39The human being is the finest information processor that's ever been devised.
00:20:45Judgements, estimations, calculations, predictions,
00:20:48estimations and outputs, outputs, outputs.
00:20:52All the time, outputs.
00:20:55Yeah, well, I don't know what you're saying, Alan, but I mean...
00:21:02Well, often I ask myself, what's the point?
00:21:08What's the point?
00:21:13How do you know you haven't got cancer of the bowel?
00:21:16What?
00:21:19Often I think to myself that I'll really put in an effort.
00:21:23Outputs, outputs, outputs, outputs, just like you're saying.
00:21:26Now, take this morning for instance.
00:21:28Now, the first thing I said to myself when I got up,
00:21:31it was about time I got myself a bit of a woman.
00:21:35It's a perennial problem of mine.
00:21:38I started to work out a few strategies when all of a sudden
00:21:42I ran my tongue around my bloody gum.
00:21:46And there's a slump here, you see.
00:21:50Still there.
00:21:52And I said to myself, well, what's the use, you stupid bugger?
00:21:56You've gone and got yourself cancer of the bloody gum.
00:21:59Graham keeps joking about his symptoms.
00:22:02He gives us all a laugh.
00:22:05Well, if that really represents your outlook on life, Graham,
00:22:09I'd start getting worried.
00:22:11I would if I didn't have cancer of the gum.
00:22:13Good one, good one.
00:22:15He keeps trying his little jokes in.
00:22:17Marvelous effect on office morale, Alan.
00:22:19Yes.
00:22:20Three more beers, please.
00:22:27Just a word of advice, Graham.
00:22:30Not that I mind, of course, but a lot of top-level executives
00:22:34might not appreciate this sort of thing at the first meeting.
00:22:37Another thing...
00:22:40Something wrong, Graham?
00:22:48What's the reputation of this joint like?
00:22:50What do you mean?
00:22:52They don't reheat their office.
00:22:54They don't reheat their old food, do they?
00:22:57I'm sure they don't.
00:22:59I reckon I got a crook bloody brawn.
00:23:01My mother always said to watch the seafood.
00:23:03You can bloody near die if the bacterial activity gets too high.
00:23:06Oh, come on, Stork, enough's enough.
00:23:09I reckon I'd better go out to the dyke and chuck this lot up.
00:23:13Stick me fingers down me throat.
00:23:17That routine kills him at G.M.H.
00:23:23Funny guy, Stork.
00:23:39That's right, yes, I'm doing my doctorate.
00:23:41As a matter of fact, I'm writing my first book.
00:23:43That's right, yes, I'm doing my doctorate.
00:23:45As a matter of fact, I'm writing my thesis up at the moment.
00:23:47How very thrilling.
00:23:49Yes, atomic physics.
00:23:50How exciting.
00:23:51And your mother?
00:23:52She's fine, thanks.
00:23:53We've grown out of touch recently.
00:23:55I really must give her a ring soon.
00:23:57So nice to have seen you.
00:23:58Oh, bye.
00:24:00Jesus, you can suck on a BBC when you want to.
00:24:04I'm very familiar about all this stuff.
00:24:06I had no idea you were so up at the avant-garde, Stork.
00:24:09Oh, excuse me.
00:24:14Weird stuff, Stork.
00:24:16I'm very familiar about all this, mate.
00:24:18Yeah, I've got the same feeling.
00:24:19Assemblage, yes.
00:24:20Oh, listen to him.
00:24:21But he takes it further.
00:24:23Much further than, say, Stankovitz and Klippel.
00:24:25Take this piece here.
00:24:28Here you can see the artist...
00:24:31groping for the poetic reference of...
00:24:35disintegration and wastage.
00:24:38It constitutes, in fact...
00:24:41It constitutes, in fact...
00:24:43well, an open-ended comment on the affluent society.
00:24:48Excuse me while I chunder.
00:24:50You ought to hear it crept in on her own, mate.
00:24:53Modern jazz.
00:24:54And the bugger's tone deaf.
00:24:56Dark movies.
00:24:57And he only reads the reviews.
00:24:59Nothing's going to have to be done about him, mate.
00:25:03Hey.
00:25:08Frankie, bloody dork.
00:25:09What are you doing in a place like this?
00:25:11Stork.
00:25:12Westy.
00:25:13I'm the bloody artist.
00:25:14Are you joking?
00:25:15No.
00:25:16Leads forward to making a General Motors.
00:25:18Well, you left the General.
00:25:19Blood oath.
00:25:20Couldn't express my intentions.
00:25:22Come here.
00:25:29That's a Holden camshaft.
00:25:30Recognize it?
00:25:31Do I?
00:25:32I made a minor design change on that spindle there.
00:25:34Yeah, well, if you look here, you'll see I've welded a piston on it.
00:25:37Now, if you're normally going to do that, you'd go for a Holden piston, wouldn't you?
00:25:39You might be set in that direction.
00:25:41Holden camshaft.
00:25:42Holden piston.
00:25:45This is where your creative talent comes in.
00:25:49I worked on a little Tirana piston.
00:25:57It's your funny sort of feelings, Stork.
00:25:59Bloody oath.
00:26:01Hey, do you earn a living out of this, Frankie?
00:26:03Out of 15 big ones grabbed out.
00:26:06Got a spare blowtorch?
00:26:08That's not the reason I do it.
00:26:11I want to leave something behind me on this planet, Stork.
00:26:15Jesus, Frankie.
00:26:19Bloody great.
00:26:21So vibrant, Stork.
00:26:23And the colors are so rich.
00:26:26Is this a landscape or an abstract?
00:26:29I call them chunderscapes, kid.
00:26:31They're non-figurative.
00:26:34Could I...
00:26:36No.
00:26:37I don't suppose I could ask you.
00:26:39Come on, kid.
00:26:43Could I actually watch you working?
00:26:46Why not?
00:26:47Just about to start on a canvas.
00:27:05Oh.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:35Oh.
00:27:45Oh.
00:27:46Oh.
00:27:48It's fascinating watching you, Stork.
00:27:51Yeah.
00:27:54There's something chilling about the act of creation.
00:27:59How do you know so exactly what's just right?
00:28:04Well, it's a hard question to ask an artist, kid.
00:28:09I mean, it...
00:28:14It just sort of...
00:28:17comes out.
00:28:24Critics are calling this
00:28:26the most intoxicating new art form this century.
00:28:30Uniquely Australian.
00:28:32Yeah, but what the crap's the deal
00:28:35with those people who reckon anyone can do it?
00:28:38Ah, you always get that sort of thing.
00:28:41You gotta eat the right food
00:28:45and you gotta drink the right beer and...
00:28:50Oh.
00:28:52Oh.
00:28:54I...
00:28:56I think I can feel the creative impulse.
00:29:08Here comes $10,000.
00:29:12Oh!
00:29:14Oh!
00:29:16Oh, here we go.
00:29:18Oh, here we go again.
00:29:20What?
00:29:21See that old bitch?
00:29:22She bought my best piece of my last three exhibitions.
00:29:24Jeez, I wouldn't complain.
00:29:26Oh, it all sells anyhow, mate.
00:29:28I'd give my right arm to be able to house up that sale.
00:29:31Has anybody else asked about it?
00:29:32Yes, one of the public collections has expressed interest in it.
00:29:36There's no doubt about you, Mrs. Granch-Simmons,
00:29:38this is certainly the pick of the show.
00:29:40You really think so?
00:29:42Oh, yes.
00:29:43And I say that not just because of, well,
00:29:45its superb manipulation of its spatial elements,
00:29:48nor because of its sheer sensuality,
00:29:50but really because this represents
00:29:52the private parts of the artist's consciousness
00:29:55which he dare not reveal to anyone.
00:30:01Oh, the bitch is gonna buy it.
00:30:04Hey.
00:30:05What?
00:30:06It's called for the old smoked oyster routine.
00:30:08What's that?
00:30:09Haven't you seen it?
00:30:11Oh, it's a bloody beauty.
00:30:12I'll show you.
00:30:13I'll show you.
00:30:14Stand over there, Wes,
00:30:15and act like you're part of the old Jurassic tart.
00:30:18Over here?
00:30:19Yeah.
00:30:24All right?
00:30:25Yeah.
00:30:26OK, now.
00:30:27I'm coming towards you with the horse's dude, you see?
00:30:30Now, as I come towards you, I start the smoked oyster.
00:30:33Roughly nostril like this.
00:30:35And I come towards you like this.
00:30:37Uh, excuse me, madam, but have you got a handkerchief?
00:30:41Now, fumble around, miss, fumble around.
00:30:43Uh, no, madam, miss.
00:30:50Bloody beauty.
00:30:51It's a bloody beauty, Stork.
00:30:53That'll kill any soul.
00:30:54It's not bad, is it?
00:30:55It's a bloody beauty.
00:30:56Now, get out there and kill him, Stork.
00:30:58Give us a beer first.
00:30:59I can't wait to see the look on Tony's face.
00:31:04He's really stripped a layer off his social veneer.
00:31:07Get out there, Stork, before the bitch buys it.
00:31:09Give us a beer first.
00:31:11I'm going to whip up a bit of the old courage, eh?
00:31:14Yeah, sure thing.
00:31:18Hey, you reckon I ought to do it?
00:31:20A bloody oath and quick.
00:31:21I mean, I don't really want to make too much of a fool of old Tony.
00:31:24I do great gags, Stork.
00:31:26They'll laugh themselves.
00:31:28Sick.
00:31:29Yeah, the place needs livening up.
00:31:31Ah, the bloody bunny stunt.
00:31:33Oh, it goes over tremendously.
00:31:41Oh, doesn't matter.
00:31:43Cheers.
00:31:55I killed him.
00:31:56Killed him.
00:31:57You should have seen the look on the old gal's face.
00:32:03Very funny.
00:32:05Very bloody funny.
00:32:08Big joke, West.
00:32:10I suppose you'd put him up to it.
00:32:12But you've made a bloody fool of yourself, Stork.
00:32:16He's in a state, isn't he?
00:32:18I was pretty bloody good.
00:32:19I ran it in so hard that I had to shake me head to get it out.
00:32:22It was pretty bloody good all the same.
00:32:25I'll drink to that.
00:32:26Oh, Jesus.
00:32:38Hey, Frankie.
00:32:39Yeah?
00:32:41Are they a good catering mob?
00:32:44No, I think so.
00:32:46They, uh...
00:32:48They would be fresh oysters, wouldn't they?
00:33:07Hey, Westy.
00:33:18Hey, Westy.
00:33:22Hey, Westy, you bloody little bacon half-wit.
00:33:24Get out of here.
00:33:25Get out of here.
00:33:36It smells in here.
00:33:38Getting worse.
00:33:40He's sleeping.
00:33:437.30 in the bath, he's sleeping.
00:33:45Sleeping, always sleeping.
00:33:48The body of a youth and the metabolism of an octogenarian.
00:33:55Oh.
00:34:01Hey, Tony.
00:34:02What?
00:34:03Come and have a beer, mate.
00:34:05I'm working.
00:34:08I'll be still shooting about the oyster.
00:34:25Thanks.
00:34:53Thanks, mother.
00:34:55Right-o, Stork.
00:34:57It's 17 minutes into the last quarter...
00:34:59...and the magpies are trailing by 11 points.
00:35:02Two straight kicks.
00:35:05Now, there's a slight crosswind favouring neither goal...
00:35:07...but making it advantageous to kick via the scoring flank...
00:35:11...which, in this case, is the member's stand ring.
00:35:14Oh.
00:35:24Humpire Jolly bounces the ball on the centre.
00:35:26And Big Jerker is up and with a mighty punch...
00:35:28...gets it back to Tummo who picks it up like a bloody rover...
00:35:30...and even as he turns, Stork McKenna is on the way out...
00:35:32...sprinting towards the scoring pocket like a bloody hare.
00:35:36The bloody crowd go wild!
00:35:44Goal!
00:35:59Goal!
00:36:08Goal!
00:36:15Stork turns and with a beautiful drop-hunt...
00:36:19...steers it through the centre.
00:36:30And the Pieds are only five points down...
00:36:32...approaching time-out period.
00:36:33Time for a quick drink before the bounce.
00:36:41Oh.
00:36:45I see.
00:36:47Just keeping fit, huh?
00:36:49Uh-huh.
00:36:53How are things at uni?
00:36:55All the lectures are pretty dull these days.
00:37:02Would you like to be Carlton?
00:37:04Who?
00:37:05Collingwood are kicking towards the Jollymont end...
00:37:07...and Carlton are kicking towards the footbridge.
00:37:09All right.
00:37:10Well, we've just booted a goal...
00:37:12...but you're still ahead by five points...
00:37:14...and there's danger of a run-on.
00:37:16What's that?
00:37:17It means we're psychologically aroused...
00:37:19...and we may play above ourselves.
00:37:21You're going to have to defend like hell.
00:37:23Well, I don't know if I should...
00:37:25...if you're psychologically aroused.
00:37:27Oh, look.
00:37:28Well, the ball is about to be bounced in the centre...
00:37:30...and you've got to contest the knock with me.
00:37:33Well, you're taller than I am.
00:37:35Oh, look.
00:37:36I'm taller than you.
00:37:38Well, you're taller than I am.
00:37:40Oh, look.
00:37:41Jump, woman.
00:37:42Just jump.
00:37:47What happens now?
00:37:49Well, if we weren't being watched...
00:37:51...by a hundred thousand pairs of beady eyes...
00:37:53...I could think of something.
00:37:56What's going on?
00:37:58Dork and I were playing football.
00:38:00Come in.
00:38:02Clyde and Tony are taking me to dinner.
00:38:04I'd better get ready.
00:38:08Come on.
00:38:22I must remember to thank the old girl for the socks.
00:38:25Bloody awful socks, Mum, but great footballs.
00:38:31I must get her to nip me a jumper next time.
00:38:34I could do with a bedspread.
00:38:37Bloody cold in winter.
00:38:58Bloody thing's going to stop.
00:39:01I don't care what the doctor said.
00:39:04Just a little boy.
00:39:06You're going out.
00:39:10You can't expect a poor little muscle-ticking...
00:39:13...pounding away for years against clogged batteries.
00:39:20They shouldn't tell you these things.
00:39:26I haven't been game to tackle preserved peaches...
00:39:28...ever since I read about botulism.
00:39:31Two seconds.
00:39:33Double vision.
00:39:35Five and you're dead.
00:40:01All flesh is grass.
00:40:03Ashes to ashes.
00:40:05Dust done to dust.
00:40:07What can one say to comfort his loved ones?
00:40:11Except we shall miss them.
00:40:13Speak for yourself.
00:40:15Took me six weeks to knit him a pullover...
00:40:17...and then he goes and pegs out on me.
00:40:20I've had it.
00:40:22I've had it.
00:40:24I've had it.
00:40:26I've had it.
00:40:28He goes and pegs out on me.
00:40:30Won't fit anyone else.
00:40:33We shall not see his light again.
00:40:35You wouldn't be so bloody sanctimonious...
00:40:37...if you knew about that smoked oyster routine.
00:40:49He was an atheist, you know.
00:40:54I thought I heard someone out here.
00:40:56What are you doing, Stork?
00:40:58I'm going out.
00:40:59Dressed like that?
00:41:00Out of the world, you silly mole.
00:41:02I'm dying.
00:41:04Oh, yeah? What of?
00:41:06Heart, baby. Heart.
00:41:09Doctor says acute indigestion...
00:41:11...but I reckon he's withholding something.
00:41:13Really?
00:41:15We can buy botulism.
00:41:17Poor little bastard.
00:41:19Buy him to get the old corpuscles through clogged arteries.
00:41:21Stork, you're a hypochondriac.
00:41:24I sat down today and worked out a truly terrifying figure.
00:41:28I didn't have anything else to do...
00:41:30...so I worked it out.
00:41:33If your arteries clogged to half their normal diameter...
00:41:38...your heart has to work 32 times as hard.
00:41:43That is a chilling figure.
00:41:4532 times!
00:41:48Poor little bastard.
00:41:50I wouldn't have thought it would be 32.
00:41:52Neither would I, would you?
00:41:54You have to believe it now, don't you?
00:41:57Bugger science.
00:42:00Bugger technology.
00:42:08Who are you with tonight?
00:42:13You must think it's a bit odd...
00:42:15...the way I alternate between Clyde and Tony.
00:42:18Yeah, I do.
00:42:20Turns me on.
00:42:23It's quite possible to have a simultaneous commitment to two people, you know.
00:42:27Yes, well, I'd be quite prepared to believe...
00:42:29...you could have a simultaneous commitment to three.
00:42:32I thought you were dying.
00:42:34Well, it says something for my courage, doesn't it?
00:42:37Have you ever asked yourself why I'm doing it?
00:42:40No.
00:42:41Consider.
00:42:43Consider a man who's resolute...
00:42:46...determined, ambitious...
00:42:49...commanding, witty...
00:42:52...well on his way to being a considerable success in life.
00:42:55And consider also...
00:42:57...a man who's well-read...
00:43:00...stylish, well-connected...
00:43:03...culturally aware.
00:43:05Who am I describing?
00:43:06Jim and Mal.
00:43:07Seriously?
00:43:08Oh, look, I don't know.
00:43:11Well, put Clyde and Tony together and what have you got?
00:43:15Two consenting male adults.
00:43:17Stork, it's important to me that...
00:43:20...you don't see me as just some shallow little hedonist.
00:43:24Never thought of you in that way before.
00:43:27Good.
00:43:28Up until now.
00:43:30Stork.
00:43:34Look, on the surface...
00:43:37...I may seem cool and in control.
00:43:40But underneath there is a core of genuine feeling.
00:43:42I want you to believe that.
00:43:44I can believe that.
00:43:46No, I want you to believe, Stork.
00:43:48Really believe.
00:43:49I'm trying, Mal.
00:43:51I'm trying.
00:43:52Stork, I want to confide in you.
00:43:54Not get curved on.
00:43:56Just that I love the way you breathe.
00:44:00Stork, I wish you'd take me seriously.
00:44:02As a person.
00:44:05I'll give it a try, Mal.
00:44:08Sit down.
00:44:10I don't know where to start.
00:44:13Start by moving back a bit.
00:44:15If the men, Stork...
00:44:18...I feel an awful guilt at what I must be doing to them.
00:44:22And the relationship between them.
00:44:26But it can't be too pleasant for a man to be...
00:44:29...fighting for a sense of personal adequacy, can it?
00:44:32No.
00:44:33That's what I'm forcing them to do, though.
00:44:35Sampling and comparing their personal adequacy...
00:44:38...is the one with the other.
00:44:40Can you understand why I feel guilt?
00:44:42Oh, for sure, for sure.
00:44:45Can you understand why I'm doing it?
00:44:48I was wondering about that.
00:44:50Stork, I'm the sort of person who believes in their feelings.
00:44:55And feelings must flow.
00:44:57They can't be damned.
00:44:59Be damned.
00:45:04I can't be constrained by arbitrary social norms, Stork.
00:45:09One day I may make a commitment.
00:45:11But not yet.
00:45:13You're waiting for the emotional compass to settle, are you?
00:45:17What?
00:45:18It's a little analogy I use to describe decisions that aren't really rational.
00:45:23Decisions of commitment, that is.
00:45:25I liken it to the settling of an emotional compass in my mind.
00:45:28That's amazing.
00:45:30Yes, it is a pretty clever little analogy, isn't it?
00:45:34I call it the emotional compass analogy.
00:45:36Eventually the needle points.
00:45:39Stork?
00:45:40Hmm?
00:45:41You're not going to believe this.
00:45:43I know.
00:45:45I use the very same analogy.
00:45:47I don't believe it.
00:45:50I mean, I'd be prepared to believe in emotional scales and the balance type analogy.
00:45:54Now, that one a lot of people use.
00:45:56But, by God, the compass.
00:45:58The compass is mine.
00:46:00Do you realise what this means, Stork?
00:46:03No.
00:46:05It means in some mysterious way our minds are attuned.
00:46:09Do you know what that's called?
00:46:11No.
00:46:12Empathy.
00:46:14It means we have the capacity to develop a thoroughgoing, therable relationship.
00:46:20Well, I don't know whether it's a very good idea to divorce the mind from the body yet.
00:46:24Now, I feel a total relationship just might be more therapeutic.
00:46:29Stork, what I need from you is empathy.
00:46:32But I feel I could give so much more.
00:46:35Stork, I already have two total relationships.
00:46:40A therable one's all I could fit in.
00:46:43Well, couldn't we start with a quick total relationship and drift back to something therable later?
00:46:49Don't spoil it, Stork.
00:46:52This new relationship of ours is very important to me.
00:46:55I need empathy.
00:46:58Yeah, well, any time.
00:47:02What good's a bloody therable relationship to a man with clogged arteries?
00:47:09You bitch mother.
00:47:11Every morning of my young life a bloody coddled egg for breakfast.
00:47:15And there was I, a defenceless infant, unable to shake off the maternal yoke.
00:47:24Bump, you bastard, bump.
00:47:55I remember last election, you've got election.
00:47:58Said he voted for the man who paid the biggest price.
00:48:01The next day at the poll, he voted with heart and soul.
00:48:05Instead of voting once, he voted twice.
00:48:08He's in the jailhouse now.
00:48:11He's in the jailhouse now.
00:48:14Instead of staying at home, let him wait for his dismissal.
00:48:18He's in the jailhouse now.
00:48:21You remember Henry Crew?
00:48:23He sold that note crew.
00:48:25He sold it to the police on the beat.
00:48:28Now Henry's feeling funny.
00:48:30The police give him buck money.
00:48:32He's got a ball and chain around his feet.
00:48:34He's having a ball.
00:48:35He's in the jailhouse now.
00:48:38He's in the jailhouse now.
00:48:41The judge gave him three years and every city tears.
00:48:45He's in the jailhouse now.
00:48:52He's in the jailhouse now.
00:49:00Wilson is walking down the street.
00:49:08Stork, aren't you there cutting yourself a bone?
00:49:12It's too bloody early in the evening.
00:49:14There's a lot of strategy involved, mate.
00:49:16Oh, come on.
00:49:17There is.
00:49:19Jesus, smells potent.
00:49:22There's a strategy, is it? Sitting here with your head buried in a book.
00:49:26Look, if you make your move too early, you'll run out of conversation.
00:49:32I reckon we ought to do something about the old stalk.
00:49:36How do you think Helena would go?
00:49:38Yeah!
00:49:41Yeah.
00:49:49I reckon we ought to do something about the old stalk.
00:50:11Hello, Helena.
00:50:12Hello.
00:50:13What can I do for you?
00:50:19I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:22What?
00:50:23I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:26What?
00:50:28I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:30What?
00:50:31I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:33What?
00:50:34I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:35What?
00:50:36I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:37What?
00:50:38I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:39What?
00:50:40I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:41What?
00:50:42I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:43What?
00:50:44I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:45What?
00:50:46I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:47What?
00:50:48I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:49What?
00:50:50I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:51What?
00:50:52I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:53What?
00:50:54I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:55What?
00:50:56I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:57What?
00:50:58I need to talk to you about something.
00:50:59What?
00:51:00I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:01What?
00:51:02I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:03What?
00:51:04I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:05What?
00:51:06I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:07What?
00:51:08I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:09What?
00:51:10I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:11What?
00:51:12I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:13What?
00:51:14I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:15What?
00:51:16I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:17What?
00:51:18I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:19What?
00:51:20I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:21What?
00:51:22I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:23What?
00:51:24I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:25What?
00:51:26I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:27What?
00:51:28I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:29What?
00:51:30I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:31What?
00:51:32I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:33What?
00:51:34I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:35What?
00:51:36I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:37What?
00:51:38I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:39What?
00:51:40I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:41What?
00:51:42I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:43What?
00:51:44I need to talk to you about something.
00:51:45What?
00:51:47Well, I wouldn't say that.
00:51:48Come and have a look at yourself.
00:51:58Pissed to the eyeballs.
00:52:01Well good pioneering stuff.
00:52:04A face that only Wang Garada could spawn.
00:52:09Stork.
00:52:11Have you ever felt the lure of the soil?
00:52:12Huh?
00:52:13The black earth stork.
00:52:14Shut your blouse.
00:52:15Stork, sucking in God's rain, fondling the golden grain
00:52:20till it erupts and bursts into life.
00:52:22The heck off, you poof the back off.
00:52:24What we've lost in these bloody, great, polluted cities,
00:52:27Stork, is our link with the earth.
00:52:31Haven't you ever felt sometimes that you'd
00:52:33like to go down on your knees and make love
00:52:37to 10 acres of outback?
00:52:39Jesus, West.
00:52:41Just you and the black earth, Stork.
00:52:44The primordial challenge.
00:52:46Land, land, bring forth of your abundance
00:52:49that I and my family might live.
00:52:54The point is, Stork, there's land going cheaper in the West,
00:52:56and there's a fortune to be made from soya beans.
00:52:58Soya beans?
00:52:59Bloody oath, mate.
00:53:00Look, I'll put up the capital, and you can buy it
00:53:02out of the profits.
00:53:03No one to boss you around.
00:53:05Just you, your own sweat, and the black earth.
00:53:09Yes.
00:53:13How's it sound, eh?
00:53:33It's my turn to pull, Stork.
00:53:35You're having the stamina, little fella.
00:53:37We've ploughed 60 acres, Stork, and it's still not breakfast.
00:53:52Hey, you cunning little rat.
00:53:57It could be a good luck.
00:54:02Come outside, and I'll show you something.
00:54:04Come on.
00:54:07Come on.
00:54:20Hey, maybe you're stoking.
00:54:22Bloody black hole of Calcutta.
00:54:24I can give you earth, boy, and I can give you growth.
00:54:28Living growth.
00:54:29Growth?
00:54:30Growth.
00:54:31Come on, West.
00:54:33Here in the bloody cellar.
00:54:38Take a look.
00:54:42Oh, my God.
00:54:43Oh, my God.
00:54:44Oh, my God.
00:54:45Oh, my God.
00:54:46Oh, my God.
00:54:47Oh, my God.
00:54:48Oh, my God.
00:54:49Oh, my God.
00:54:50Oh, my God.
00:54:51Oh, my God.
00:54:52Oh, my God.
00:54:54Oh, it's the smell.
00:54:56It's the bloody smell.
00:54:58That's the smell of a crop of mushrooms, Stork,
00:55:01pushing their way up through virgin soil.
00:55:24This may be virgin soil, West,
00:55:27but these mushrooms are stuffed.
00:55:32I've got a little friend that I really think you ought to meet.
00:55:35Little?
00:55:36What do you mean, little?
00:55:37Well, as I said before.
00:55:39Oh, that's all right.
00:55:40Oh, good.
00:55:41What do you want me for?
00:55:42To kiss.
00:55:44And in the middle of her moonlight,
00:55:47by her little farm, something like this.
00:55:50Like what, Ernie?
00:55:51Like this.
00:55:53If you like a ukulele lady,
00:55:58ukulele lady like you,
00:56:01if you like to linger where it's shady,
00:56:06ukulele lady linger too.
00:56:09If you kiss a ukulele lady
00:56:14and you promise ever to be true,
00:56:17and she sees another ukulele lady,
00:56:22ukulele lady moving round with you.
00:56:30Get lost, West.
00:56:32You Graham Walsh?
00:56:34Yeah.
00:56:35I believe you're interested in meeting me.
00:56:39I'm Helena Elk.
00:56:42Right.
00:56:43I was thinking about it and I just thought of you.
00:56:46Right.
00:56:48I've spilled beer over my dachshund.
00:56:50Yeah, I've heard that one before.
00:56:51And you just keep your dachshund on, boy,
00:56:53till we get a few things straightened out.
00:56:55Now, I don't intend to be used as a purely sexual object.
00:56:59That's fair enough.
00:57:00And I'm not a lesbian.
00:57:01Oh.
00:57:02I'm a normal woman with normal desires.
00:57:05Except, I will not submit to the demeaning concept of womanhood
00:57:10which you bastards have forced upon us.
00:57:12Do you understand?
00:57:15Bastards.
00:57:19You think so?
00:57:22Do you know, Walsh,
00:57:24there's a woman Shakespeare lying dead
00:57:26in some obscure English cemetery because of you?
00:57:29And a woman Beethoven, and a woman Rembrandt,
00:57:32and a woman Shakespeare?
00:57:33Right.
00:57:34Okay, I'm off.
00:57:36Goodnight.
00:57:37Goodnight.
00:57:38Goodnight.
00:57:39Goodnight.
00:57:40Goodnight.
00:57:41Goodnight.
00:57:42Goodnight.
00:57:43a woman Rembrandt, and a woman Einstein.
00:57:47They were strangled at birth, Wallace.
00:57:49Squeezed into slavery by men like yourself.
00:58:04Now, I don't think that's entirely...
00:58:09Well, what have you done about it, eh?
00:58:11I mean, I haven't seen you out demonstrating,
00:58:13or writing pamphlets, or picketing the cosmetic industry.
00:58:19You're just another small-end man, aren't you, Wallace?
00:58:29Would you like a beer?
00:58:30No, I don't think so.
00:58:40Now, there are two ways we can go about this.
00:58:43Either we can treat each other as purely sexual objects,
00:58:46and get stuck into it right away,
00:58:49or you could treat me as a sexual object,
00:58:51and we'd have a hell of a row about it later.
00:58:54Now, which do you prefer?
00:58:55Oh, well, that's a difficult question to answer, isn't it?
00:58:59Well, I think I prefer the second.
00:59:01I like a gutsy man.
00:59:15Look, look, look, Helena.
00:59:17I'd better lay this on the line.
00:59:20Yeah?
00:59:21I've got to go out and, uh...
00:59:22Eliminate?
00:59:23Yeah.
00:59:24That's okay, I'll wait here.
00:59:28I'll be back in a minute.
00:59:55I'm about to be castrated.
00:59:58Lane rilk.
01:00:01I think I'd rather stay, uh...
01:00:04Stay, uh...
01:00:06Than...
01:00:07Than that.
01:00:11Are you a virgin still?
01:00:15Look, Emma, do you think I've been rushed?
01:00:28All right.
01:00:40There's a light
01:00:41There's a light
01:00:42Across the valley
01:00:44There's a light
01:00:45There's a light
01:00:46Under the sea
01:00:48But a brighter
01:00:49Brighter light is shining
01:00:52Inside you, dear
01:00:53Inside me
01:00:55There's a light
01:00:56There's a light
01:00:57Under the ocean
01:00:59There's a light
01:01:00There's a light
01:01:01Inside that tree
01:01:02Oh, but a brighter
01:01:04Brighter light is shining
01:01:06Inside you, dear
01:01:08Inside me
01:01:10Once when I was walking to the valley
01:01:14The night was dark, the way could not be found
01:01:18Slipped and almost fell into the river
01:01:20Yes, I did
01:01:21And I thank God that the moon came out
01:01:23Otherwise I would have drowned
01:01:25There's a light
01:01:26Across the valley
01:01:28There's a light
01:01:29There's a light
01:01:30Under that tree
01:01:32But a brighter
01:01:33Brighter light is shining
01:01:35Inside you, dear
01:01:37Inside me
01:01:40There's a light
01:01:55Well, learn a little truth in every story
01:01:59Learn a little wisdom every day
01:02:03When the world hangs heavy on your shoulder, my little friend
01:02:06Just sink inside yourself and say
01:02:09There's a light
01:02:11Across the valley
01:02:13There's a light
01:02:14There's a light
01:02:15Under the sea
01:02:17But a brighter
01:02:18Brighter light is shining
01:02:20Inside you, dear
01:02:22Inside me
01:02:24Inside you, dear
01:02:26Inside me
01:02:28Inside you, dear
01:02:31Inside me
01:02:39Inside me
01:03:06Hi
01:03:07What?
01:03:09What are you doing?
01:03:11Well, I thought perhaps we'd better be going
01:03:14Where?
01:03:15Well, I thought perhaps back to the party
01:03:20What?
01:03:21Anna, baby!
01:03:22They'll miss us if we don't get back soon
01:03:25You can forget that scene, Mole
01:03:27Did we or did we not arrive at a great physiological truth beneath those sheets?
01:03:31Now, don't let's get overdramatic
01:03:33Dramatic?
01:03:34Answer me this
01:03:35Was I or was I not
01:03:38Satisfactory?
01:03:40Of course you were
01:03:42But it wouldn't be right to
01:03:43To what?
01:03:45To break it off with Clyde and Tony
01:03:47Just like that
01:03:48Haven't you read Norman Mailer?
01:03:51No
01:03:53Oh, you dumb Mole
01:03:55Look, when two people make it at the big crashing oval
01:03:58That's it, baby
01:04:01That's what it's all about
01:04:03Oh
01:04:05Oh
01:04:09It's objective, it's empirical
01:04:11And that baby is what the world needs
01:04:13Hand to crap, back to the orgasm
01:04:15Nature's answer to the drug menace
01:04:17There is a lot of truth in what you say
01:04:20Look, you can forget Clyde, forget Tony
01:04:22You and I are now cohabitors
01:04:24Oh, it's dork
01:04:26Oh, look
01:04:27All the truth in your body, Anna
01:04:29You're now my woman
01:04:31I wish it were as simple as that, Stork
01:04:33But the fact is
01:04:34The physical side of things
01:04:35Isn't really all that important
01:04:38Hey, wait a minute
01:04:40Do you mean to say that
01:04:42In all fairness, Stork
01:04:43I have to admit that
01:04:44I've already found a
01:04:46Type of fulfilment with
01:04:48Clyde and Tony
01:04:49Well
01:04:58So the way it was tonight
01:04:59Had nothing to do with the feeling between us
01:05:01Of course it did
01:05:03All of my virility
01:05:06Of course it did
01:05:08But what?
01:05:10I'm the type of woman who
01:05:12Responds to men
01:05:14Oh, charming
01:05:18I guess I must be wired up the right way
01:05:21If you don't mind
01:05:25I just thought it would be best if I told the truth
01:05:27No, go on
01:05:29I feel great
01:05:31Stork
01:05:33All I'm trying to say
01:05:35Is that I don't sit much
01:05:36Store by the purely physical
01:05:39Gee, if I did
01:05:40I wouldn't look past Clyde
01:05:42Because as far as pure technique goes
01:05:44Technique?
01:05:47Oh, well, he is very experienced
01:05:49And Tony
01:05:51Well, he sometimes expresses himself
01:05:53In rather devious ways
01:05:56Didn't realise I was up against
01:05:57Such a talented opposition
01:06:01It isn't the technicality, Stork
01:06:03It's the person
01:06:09You've dealt a death blow to my masculinity, Anna
01:06:12A death blow
01:06:14It may never rise again
01:06:18Stork
01:06:19Yeah
01:06:22I want us to go on
01:06:24Believe me
01:06:26Yeah
01:06:28But for the time being
01:06:29It might be best
01:06:30If the others didn't know
01:06:37Don't worry
01:06:39I wouldn't be game to tell them
01:06:48I really love you, Stork
01:06:51Yeah
01:06:54And I really love Clyde
01:06:57And even
01:06:59Poor old hung-up Tony
01:07:02What about Westy?
01:07:05Who told you about Westy?
01:07:07Westy?
01:07:09Oh, God, Mull
01:07:12Well, I feel a great love
01:07:13For the people I'm closest to, Stork
01:07:15But it'd be wrong to hold it back
01:07:18Wouldn't it?
01:07:24If you keep not holding it back so often, love
01:07:26One of these days
01:07:27I'm gonna call you promiscuous
01:07:39As I recall, the arrangement was for one night only
01:07:42He's been here six months
01:07:44You know, I don't think we'll ever get rid of the bastard
01:07:46Come on, Stork, play your bloody card
01:07:48I'm thinking
01:07:50Well, it takes a long time for a message to go from brain to hand
01:07:52It takes a fair while to find the brain, too
01:07:54Play one of the nice ones, Stork
01:07:56The fish is on it
01:08:02Playing cards?
01:08:03No
01:08:04We're going on a train trip
01:08:06Would you like a cup of coffee?
01:08:08No, thanks
01:08:13There
01:08:14Oh, very good
01:08:16Oh, did you have a club, Stork?
01:08:17Yeah, I was saving it
01:08:23Will you be playing cards long?
01:08:25No
01:08:28Good, I...
01:08:29Well...
01:08:31What?
01:08:34I'd like to say a few words
01:08:36Do you mind if we finish our game first?
01:08:38Of course not
01:08:42Thank you
01:08:44Make something, sir
01:08:55Finished?
01:08:56Hang on
01:09:07Well, the fact is, something's come up
01:09:10Or will come up
01:09:11Shortly
01:09:25You're pregnant
01:09:32You're on the pill
01:09:33I stopped
01:09:36Why?
01:09:38I just stopped
01:09:40Well, you don't just stop taking the pill
01:09:42Well, I did
01:09:43Why?
01:09:44Why do you think?
01:09:45I don't know
01:09:46Neither do I
01:09:49Are you pregnant?
01:09:55Yes, I am
01:09:57Well, whose is it?
01:09:59How would I know?
01:10:01Well, you'll just have to have an abortion
01:10:04Why would I have to have an abortion?
01:10:06Because you will
01:10:07Clyde and I will go halves
01:10:09I'm not going to
01:10:11Not a backyard job
01:10:12We'll get the best surgeon in the game
01:10:14I'm not going to
01:10:16Well, how far gone are you?
01:10:19Six weeks
01:10:20Well, there's no problems
01:10:21We've got a family friend who's a top obstetrician
01:10:24I'm not having an abortion
01:10:25Well, why not?
01:10:26I'm going to have it
01:10:28Ah, you're going to have it adopted
01:10:31I'm going to keep it
01:10:33For God's sake, woman
01:10:34Be reasonable
01:10:36You want to keep it?
01:10:37That's what I said
01:10:38Don't get mad at me
01:10:39I'm not getting mad at you
01:10:40You are
01:10:44Well, what do you want us to do?
01:10:45That's up to you
01:10:46Oh, thanks
01:10:47It's a great help
01:10:48I'm sorry
01:10:50Look, Anna
01:10:51What do you want us to do?
01:10:53I don't want you to do anything
01:10:55Look, let's just be realistic
01:10:56You have gone and got yourself pregnant
01:10:58For some bloody obscure reason
01:11:00You don't know whose it is
01:11:02Well, what do you expect us to do?
01:11:04Toss for the kid
01:11:06It's my baby
01:11:09Then what are we supposed to do?
01:11:11What are we supposed to do?
01:11:13That's a fair enough question
01:11:14Do what you bloody will like
01:11:16Look
01:11:18I wouldn't mind
01:11:19If it was my kid, I'd take responsibility
01:11:21However, it does dull the edge of it
01:11:23Knowing it could be Clyde's
01:11:25No offence, Clyde
01:11:26I don't think it matters whose kid it is
01:11:28Well, I think it does to some extent
01:11:30I don't think it matters whose kid it is
01:11:32It mightn't be either of yours
01:11:35What?
01:11:37Well, if we're going to get all hung up on parentage
01:11:41Then it could be Stork's
01:11:44Stork's?
01:11:45Stork's?
01:11:51You slept with...
01:11:53When in a...
01:11:55You must be joking
01:11:58Stork
01:12:00Are you on the level?
01:12:02It could be Westy's too
01:12:04I don't think that's very likely
01:12:06Have you been to bed with Stork and Westy?
01:12:08Not very often
01:12:09With me
01:12:10Yes, I have
01:12:11So what?
01:12:12So what?
01:12:13So what?
01:12:14You're a bloody nymphomaniac
01:12:15It only happened once
01:12:16And a half
01:12:17You little bloody rat
01:12:18What about Stork?
01:12:19Stork's a mental defective
01:12:20At least you put him out of bed
01:12:22When was the last time you got off with her?
01:12:24You're making a mountain out of a mole hill
01:12:26Oh, thanks
01:12:27Sorry, I didn't mean it that way
01:12:28Honestly, Anna, Stork and Westy
01:12:30Yeah, what was it?
01:12:31Be kind to dumb animals week?
01:12:33Can't you take it?
01:12:35I suppose you've been sniggering under your breath for months
01:12:37You've got no proportion in mind
01:12:38I ought to smash your face in
01:12:39Let him, Stork
01:12:40I'll tell you what
01:12:41I'm not stopping him right here to file something that could look like...
01:12:45That
01:12:50What will your father say?
01:12:53I don't know and I don't care
01:12:55Anna, you'll just have to face up to the fact
01:12:57That society doesn't cater for kids with...
01:12:59With four fathers
01:13:01You conformist bastard
01:13:03Shut your neck, Stork
01:13:05Watch your language
01:13:07Father
01:13:08I'll kill him, I'll kill him
01:13:10We could all stay here
01:13:11The more father figures a kid has
01:13:12The better adjusted he is
01:13:14Shut your neck
01:13:16Just can't accept the fact
01:13:17That Anna finds me attractive
01:13:18Stork
01:13:19For Christ's sake
01:13:20Face up to yourself for once
01:13:22Look, I don't need any of you
01:13:25I can look after myself
01:13:40Something's got to be done
01:13:42Something's got to be done
01:14:12God, have you ever seen anything as stupid as a bloody sheep
01:14:38I'm not saying
01:14:41Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:14:42Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:14:45Get lost, you dumb, woolly bastard.
01:14:50Get lost.
01:14:52All right.
01:15:08Oh, bugger.
01:15:09I cut my bloody hand on its horn.
01:15:11Dumb animal.
01:15:13Hey, it's not moving.
01:15:15What have you done to it, Stork?
01:15:17Nothing.
01:15:18Look what it did to me.
01:15:19Bloody near gored me.
01:15:21It's dead.
01:15:22Oh, you've given it a bloody seizure, Stork.
01:15:26Stork, do you know how much these things are worth?
01:15:28Jesus, it's dead.
01:15:30Well, it couldn't be much of a bloody sheep, anyway,
01:15:32if it couldn't have taken a bit of a joke.
01:15:34Bloody dumb animal.
01:15:36Oh, jeez, look at your suit, Stork.
01:15:38Oh, bugger my suit.
01:15:39We'll have to front in about ten minutes.
01:15:41Brush it down, will you?
01:15:42What, so I'll look pretty for all the Alps?
01:15:45All right, it's just to please the folks.
01:15:48As a matter of fact, I've got a little bit of dust on my suit, is it?
01:15:50I've still got that gorgeous little 14-carat band in my pocket.
01:15:54All right, if that's the way you feel.
01:15:56It's a sellout, Clyde, and Anna doesn't want it.
01:15:58Anna doesn't know what she wants.
01:15:59Anna was perfectly happy to go along as we were.
01:16:02Well, I wasn't.
01:16:03Do you think you're what Anna's been looking for all her life, Mr. Wright?
01:16:06Mr. Far-bloody-Wright!
01:16:07At least I'm not a hopeless senior officer.
01:16:09You're a bourgeois licker of the establishment posterior, Clyde,
01:16:11and as far as I'm concerned, you can stick this ring up your kiver.
01:16:19If that's the way you feel.
01:16:21It's the way I feel.
01:16:29Sorry, Alcock, I don't think I can sit through the ceremony, either.
01:16:36I thought you'd never ask, old chap.
01:17:06I've nothing to say.
01:17:22Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for just one moment.
01:17:26I'm sorry to interrupt the eating and the drinking,
01:17:29but I believe I am obliged to say a few words.
01:17:36Now, we're here today to celebrate the marriage of my lovely daughter.
01:17:41And I'm very glad that we're here today to celebrate the marriage of my lovely daughter.
01:17:48Because I believe that my lovely daughter will find in, well, in marriage,
01:17:55the happiness that one finds in marriage.
01:18:00Ladies and gentlemen, please join me.
01:18:03Can you hear me?
01:18:04Now, I haven't known, um, I haven't known, um, Clyde.
01:18:08I haven't known Clyde for very long.
01:18:10But in the short time I have known him, I have been very impressed with his attitude to life.
01:18:15And with his, with his friends, also.
01:18:21Now, one of his friends, Tony.
01:18:23Tony.
01:18:26He's here today as best man.
01:18:28And I'm very pleased to see Tony here today as best man as well.
01:18:31Very pleased indeed.
01:18:32So, thank you, Tony.
01:18:38What was that?
01:18:39Oh, it was nothing, sir.
01:18:40Okay, then.
01:18:42Well, I think I've said enough, don't you?
01:18:44I do.
01:18:45So, now I'll hand the floor over to Uncle Jack.
01:18:54I'm one of the very few men who can claim the privilege of having seen Anna without a stitch of clothing on.
01:19:06Today is the day, good people, when innocence blossoms into womanhood.
01:19:11Like the monarchy, like the law, marriage is a hangover of the past.
01:19:17We are witnessing a solemn pledge today.
01:19:21Marriage enslaves women and castrates men.
01:19:24Man to woman.
01:19:25Woman to man.
01:19:26To ham and to hole.
01:19:28And I'm quite sure that there's going to be a lot of having and holing if Clyde's got any sense.
01:19:32Because he's getting the finest bit of selective breeding we've ever seen up Eltham Way.
01:19:37Attention.
01:19:38Marriage is a jackboot on the fragile necks of human marriage.
01:19:41Look at that, ladies and gentlemen.
01:19:43You are witnessing a past.
01:19:45Marriage is the cancer of the revolutionary womb.
01:19:49Just look at her.
01:19:51Clear of eye.
01:19:53Proud of head.
01:19:55Pride of lamp.
01:19:57Round of rump.
01:19:59As I stand here now, looking at Anna in her symbolic gown of pristine white,
01:20:05it makes me feel, it makes me feel...
01:20:11Why should every couple occupy the straight and narrow bed?
01:20:14It is an invasion of our privacy by the state.
01:20:17Well, what on earth's going on?
01:20:19Tell us to say that in the future we will want you to sleep three in a bed,
01:20:22five in a bed, or even sixteen in a bed.
01:20:26This is not a personal vendetta.
01:20:28It's a calculated gesture of protest against an insidious institution.
01:20:37Where's the fire?
01:20:38I don't need fire.
01:20:39Don't you believe it, Jack.
01:20:40If those CMA boys start hosing, there's a fire, all right.
01:20:42Might be in the kitchen.
01:20:47I would like to read to you a few selected quotes from the works of Mao Tse-tung.
01:20:57This society is irrational.
01:20:59Its productivity is destructive of the free development of human needs and faculties.
01:21:04Back, you hate-spilled booze-wassers!
01:21:18Its peace is maintained by the constant threat of war,
01:21:22and its growth is dependent on repression.
01:21:25It is a freedom as a private space in which man may become himself.
01:21:29Today, this private space is being invaded and whittled down by technological realities.
01:21:34Mass production and mass distribution claim the entire individual.
01:21:39Keep your distance!
01:21:41You capitalist jinx!
01:21:43All right, stop, you're gone!
01:21:48I'm sorry for the inconvenience,
01:21:50but there comes a time when one cannot shift the system from what it is,
01:21:53and one must resort to violence to make one's point.
01:21:57I'm sorry for the inconvenience,
01:21:59but there comes a time when one cannot shift the system from what it is,
01:22:02and one must resort to violence to make one's point.
01:22:11All right, rats, pull your pants!
01:22:19Everybody to the bloody water store!
01:22:21What?
01:22:22Everybody to the bloody water!
01:22:27Through.
01:22:51Lovely webbing.
01:22:53Stupid bastards.
01:22:55Where the hell do you suppose they got that fire engine?
01:22:58I don't know.
01:23:02And that great lanky bastard half killed his sheep this morning.
01:23:05Really?
01:23:07Must have had a weak bloody heart to begin with.
01:23:09Stork, watch the road, you stupid bastard!
01:23:14Get out.
01:23:15Now, wait a minute.
01:23:16Get out!
01:23:17I've got my rights.
01:23:18Stork, this is our honeymoon.
01:23:22That could be my kid in there.
01:23:43Do you get many cases of tenders around here, Anna?
01:23:46That bloody sheep had a go at me.
01:23:48Bloody luxury would be a hell of a thing to get.
01:23:51Just imagine.
01:23:55Hey, did you know that there's no known cure?
01:23:58It's the 20th bloody century and they still haven't found an antitoxin.
01:24:18Stork, Stork, Stork