The Ethics of the Childfree Life!

  • 2 days ago
In this episode, I discuss the implications of choosing a child-free life, inspired by Abigail's bold declaration. I delve into societal pressures and family expectations surrounding motherhood, examining the tension between individual freedom and societal responsibility. Through personal anecdotes, I address the double standards tied to reproductive choices and explore the broader consequences for future generations. Ultimately, I advocate for recognizing both personal autonomy and the obligations that accompany such choices, balancing self-interest with societal sustainability.

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Transcript
00:00All right, so this is an article, it's worth seeing just how this kind of programming works.
00:06It's absolutely not organic in my humble opinion.
00:09Why I'm proud my niece is choosing a life without children.
00:12She's rejecting expectations to pursue a life of her own design.
00:18So this is standard antinatalist nonsense and so how do you do this, right?
00:23Why I'm proud, proud, choosing a life without children, rejecting expectations to pursue
00:30a life of her own design.
00:31So that of course is very, very positive and so on, right?
00:35And then what do you do?
00:36Well, you have this picture of this woman who's like a friendly, happy, off the shoulder,
00:43positive.
00:44She's in a social situation.
00:46She has a handsome guy to the left and she's smiling and she's content and she's happy,
00:53So the way that you program people is what you do is you say, well, they're content with
01:00their choices, but other people are upset with their choices, right?
01:06So this is a standard.
01:09It's really sad how often, how much, and how regularly this works.
01:14Well so my niece, you guarantee, she's happy and content and certain and serene with her
01:20own choices and other people are outraged and can't believe it, right?
01:24So this is how you start with this kind of stuff.
01:26So let's see.
01:29So this, I guess, is a quote from this niece, just so everyone knows, I'm not having kids.
01:35We were at my brother's for dinner when my 26 year old niece, Abigail, casually announced
01:39it.
01:40Like she was talking about switching shampoo brands, right?
01:42So she's just casual.
01:43She's fine.
01:44She's smiling.
01:45I don't know if this is the same woman, probably stock photo.
01:48But it's just fine.
01:50She's happy.
01:51She's smiling, right?
01:53My sister-in-law went pale.
01:56My sister-in-law went pale, right?
01:58So Abigail's perfectly happy and content.
02:02It's not a big deal.
02:03And the fact that Abigail is casually announcing it means that she's serene and content and
02:09happy.
02:10My sister-in-law went pale.
02:11Abby, don't be ridiculous.
02:12She finally managed to say, you'll change your mind.
02:16You're still so young, right?
02:19So first of all, just saying I'm not having kids is a big freaking deal, right?
02:26Saying you're not having kids to your mother is a big freaking deal.
02:31Because the deal is, we have kids and then you have kids, right?
02:38That's the deal.
02:39Very few people would bother having children if they knew that their children weren't going
02:43to have children.
02:44Because what would be the point?
02:45What would be the point of going through all that sacrifice, all that expense, the $100,000
02:50to $200,000 or $300,000 that people spend, endless nights of no sleep and all of the
02:55focus and time and effort, drive them around and take them to volleyball and all of that
03:00work and effort.
03:01Why would you bother doing that if your kids didn't want to have kids and it was the end
03:03of the line?
03:06So that's the deal.
03:07You're alive so that you'll pass life forward.
03:10In other words, if you say you're not having kids, you have invalidated to a large degree
03:16all of the effort that your parents have put into you.
03:19You're only alive because, I'm only alive because that's the deal.
03:23You have kids and hopefully you can and there could be some reasons why you can't, but that's
03:27the general deal.
03:28So saying this casually announced it like she's talking about switching shampoo brands,
03:33that's weird.
03:34Like to just say to your parent, I'm not having kids is a huge freaking deal.
03:40Which means that Abigail is for some reason kind of a moral monster.
03:47It would be like a million times worse.
03:52Like Bob casually announced at dinner that he has a second family and his wife was outraged
04:03and couldn't believe it, but Bob was perfectly serene and you know what I mean?
04:06It's just bizarre, right?
04:08Abigail just raised an eyebrow unflinching, no mom, I won't.
04:15So that's interesting, right?
04:16Well, she's not that young and of course the question then would be, well first of all
04:21don't call her ridiculous, right?
04:23That's not right, that's unfair.
04:25So why wouldn't you want to have kids?
04:27Well having kids is a positive experience, at least that's certainly been my experience
04:31and it's a great deal of fun and it's the deal.
04:34It's the deal.
04:36It's to me the people who don't want to have kids at all for some ideological reason or
04:40selfish reasons, usually the same thing.
04:43It's saying, well I want to take from society, but I don't want to contribute to society,
04:47right?
04:48So it's like all the selfish people who just consume resources and never do any charity,
04:53never help people, never provide anything back and all of that kind of stuff.
04:56At least in the past the Boo Radleys of the universe used to just sit in their houses
05:02and rot away on their own.
05:04So yeah, the people they take, take, take, right?
05:10No mom, I won't.
05:12And of course she is young, right?
05:18And who's going to take care of her?
05:20So what are the odds that Abigail is going to save the two million dollars plus that
05:24she needs to sustain herself from 65 to 85, right?
05:29What are the odds that Abigail is going to do that?
05:32So the deal of course should be that if you don't have kids, then you have to save millions
05:39and millions of dollars for your old age if you don't have kids.
05:43If you do have kids and you raise them well and you love them, then hopefully they will
05:49take care of you in your old age and that will be the case.
05:53People are fair in my experience.
05:57People are fair deep, deep down, most people, right?
06:00And if you raise kids to be unfair, it's because you've done something wrong as a parent, right?
06:05So Abigail will not, you know, almost certainly not, Abigail is not going to save the two
06:13plus million dollars she's going to need to sustain herself over the course of her retirement.
06:18So what Abigail is going to do is she's going to take the money that she should have poured
06:22into children and she's going to pour it into travel and fun stuff and cool trinkets and
06:28bric-a-brac and white elephants and tchotchkes and nonsense and makeup and maybe not makeup
06:34if she's more feminist, that's fine.
06:37But she's not going to say, well, I'm not having kids, so how am I going to sustain
06:40myself in my old age?
06:44Well, I'm going to take the, let's say she would have had two kids at 200k a pop, there's
06:51400,000.
06:52So I'm going to take that money and I'm going to wisely invest the $400,000 plus I've got
07:00all this extra time because I'm not having kids, so I'm going to work harder and I'm
07:03going to make sure I have that $2 million.
07:06We all know that that's absolutely not going to happen and therefore Abigail is going to
07:11rely on other people having children in order to have the money and services support and
07:16health care and electricity and plumbing and water and right when she gets old, you
07:22can rely on absolutely everyone else to have kids so that she can parasite off them when
07:28she gets older.
07:29Now again, maybe she'll be the one in, I don't know, one in a hundred women without kids
07:36who do take all the money they would have poured into kids and save it and then she
07:44won't be as much of a burden, that's fine, but it's unlikely because people don't want
07:51to have kids because they're hedonists and hedonists aren't very good at saving.
07:56So that would be gross, right?
08:01So then a smile slipped under my face before I could stop it.
08:06I love my kids deeply, but I also love women having the choice when it comes to the reproductive
08:11decisions.
08:12So if Abigail says she doesn't want children, I believe her.
08:17While everyone else seemed ready to tell Abigail she was being ridiculous, all I could think
08:20was good for her, all right?
08:27And of course, women should not have children if they don't want children.
08:33Of course, this goes without saying, of course women should not have children because having
08:39a choice and not being forced into anything is super important, right?
08:45My body, my choice.
08:48And women should be able to control their own bodies, right?
08:53And this is not an abortion debate because she's not going to have children, right?
08:56So it's not like she's going to have a bunch of abortions, she's going to have, I don't
08:59know, her tubes tied or she's going to make sure she's always on birth control or something,
09:04right?
09:05Or not have any procreative sex or something like that, right?
09:09So that's fine.
09:11Women should never, ever, ever, ever be pressured or forced into a motherhood, no question,
09:19no question, all right?
09:21And men should never be forced to support women who haven't saved for their retirement
09:27in their old age, right?
09:29My body, my choice, right?
09:31A child is a result of a woman's choice over her own body.
09:38And a man's wages are the result of his choice over the actions of his own body, right?
09:45We type, we labor, we hew, we hack, we hoe, we build, we break men.
09:51We control our own bodies and our wealth is the product of our own bodies.
09:56And my body, my choice has to mean, of course, that I should never be coerced into taking
10:04the products of my body and forcibly being forced to transfer them to someone else against
10:09my will, right?
10:13So yes, women should absolutely have the choice when it comes to their reproductive decisions,
10:18and men and women, of course, should absolutely have the choice when it comes to our wealth,
10:25which is the product of our bodies.
10:27My body, my choice, my wealth, my choice.
10:32So the reality is that she can have her choice and I would try to convince her otherwise,
10:41but if she chose to be childless, that's fine.
10:45But then she also has to uphold my right and everyone else's right to not be forced to
10:50pay for her if she becomes very poor in her old age, because my body, my choice, right?
10:58So I'm not going to obviously buy this story, but it says here, the moment she shattered
11:06expectations, Abigail's nonchalant statement wasn't defiance or rebellion, it was certainty.
11:13My niece has always been the type to speak her mind.
11:14She never tiptoes around a difficult conversation.
11:17The tension in the room was palpable, right?
11:19So again, she's chosen to break the covenant.
11:23It's a huge criticism of her parents to say she doesn't want children.
11:29Because she's saying, life without children is pleasurable, and therefore, I perceive
11:36that I was a burden to you.
11:38It is absolutely a huge criticism of her parents.
11:41It is a conversation that should be had around emotional issues and criticisms of parenting
11:47and unhappiness in childhood, but, you know, see, if Abigail, this woman, if she likes
11:52her life, then she should pay that gift forward, right?
11:56Her parents sacrificed a lot to have her and to raise her, and if she enjoys her life,
12:02then she should pay it forward.
12:04Otherwise it's like inheriting a, it's inheriting a fortune that has been kept for a hundred
12:13generations and blowing it all on yourself, rather than preserving it and increasing it
12:17for the next generation.
12:18Well, that's just ridiculously selfish.
12:21So if Abigail is happy, then she enjoys her life, is happy to be alive, is glad to be
12:27alive, and is selfishly hoarding all of that life for herself and not paying it forward.
12:32That's gross, and if Abigail is miserable and unhappy, I can understand why she wouldn't
12:37want to have kids, but if she's miserable and unhappy at that young an age, it probably
12:42has to do with how she was raised, and therefore, she should deal with that with her parents
12:46rather than deny life to those who can come after her, so it is just monstrous and horrible.
12:52But you can see, she's rejecting expectations to pursue a life of her own design.
12:57Well, I mean, that's just vanity, right?
13:02And it is wanting to consume the fruits of human society without contributing any new
13:08members.
13:09That's just take, take, take.
13:12The people without kids are the people who come to a potluck without any food and just
13:18eat what everyone else has made.
13:21And again, I can completely understand that there are some women not cut out for motherhood,
13:27it's not their thing, and that's totally fine.
13:30I mean, of course, right?
13:32I can understand that.
13:33I'm not saying that everyone who doesn't want kids is selfish and semi-parasitical.
13:39I think that's the vast majority, but it's not everyone, right?
13:41But that's fine.
13:43But when is this, is this same, what's that, Victoria Kerindi, is she going to write an
13:48article saying that my brother-in-law says that taxes should be cut 99%, and I'm incredibly
14:02proud that he wants to reject expectations to pursue a life of his own design because
14:08it's his money, his body, his choice, his earnings, his wealth, his choice.
14:14No, she would call that person incredibly selfish, unfeeling, uncaring, and not part
14:19of the social covenant, right?
14:21So that's just the hypocrisy of all of this, that a woman can say, well, I reject having
14:26children because my body, my choice.
14:30And if a man says, I reject or I don't want the current tax burden because my body, my
14:38choice, you just know it's going to be completely different.
14:41So it's nothing to do with principles.
14:42It's all to do with enabling the selfishness.
14:44And then, of course, I understand that if people fall for this nonsense, if women fall
14:49for this nonsense, and maybe men too, but if women fall for this nonsense, then is it
14:57a huge loss?
14:58If people are easily programmed and easily swayed into rank selfishness and are willing
15:05to use force to extract resources from others when they get old, okay, is it a huge loss
15:10that they don't become mothers?
15:13Probably not.
15:14If you can talk people out of having kids based on shallow propaganda, is it really
15:18such a loss if it ends with them?
15:21Probably not.
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