Have I Got News for You Season 68 Episode 2
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00:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:02Good evening.
00:04Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
00:05I'm Amol Raj, and in the news this week,
00:07Keir Starmer tries to explain to anyone who will listen,
00:10although it technically is Lord Allie's car,
00:12he is allowed exclusive use of it on weekdays.
00:16LAUGHTER
00:24In Weybridge, Eamon Holmes' new girlfriend regrets trying to use
00:28his custom-made bidet.
00:30SCREAMING
00:32LAUGHTER
00:37And in Kingston-upon-Thames,
00:39Ed Davey arrives at the funeral of a much-loved constituent.
00:44LAUGHTER
00:50He's wearing black, it's respectful.
00:53On Ian's team tonight, a former Conservative MP and Brexiteer
00:57who is a member of the organisation Leave Means Leave,
01:01which is exactly what her constituents told her
01:03at the last election.
01:05Please welcome Dame Andrea Jenkins.
01:07APPLAUSE
01:12And on Paul's team tonight is an actor and comedian
01:15whose latest show was called On I Bang,
01:18which was, coincidentally, the working title
01:20for Boris Johnson's memoir.
01:22Please welcome Miles Jupp.
01:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:28We begin with the bigger news stories of the week.
01:31Ian and Andrea, take a look at this.
01:34Right, that's Keir Starmer, isn't it?
01:36That's Sue Gray, she's gone.
01:38Ah, this is it, 100 days Keir Starmer's been Prime Minister,
01:42which is two and a half Liz trusses.
01:44LAUGHTER
01:46How would you rate Starmer's first 100 days, Ian? A success?
01:50Well, he's still Prime Minister.
01:52Yeah. And in recent terms, that's pretty good going.
01:55What might have hastened Sue Gray's departure?
01:58Free passes at Number 10?
02:00Was she caught snorting coke off a lilo?
02:02No.
02:04No. I don't think she was, just for the benefit of the lawyer
02:07that's listening. I don't think it's true at all.
02:10According to The Times, Gray showed...
02:17Good to see Private Eye's still being read in Number 10.
02:21Another accusation from Sue Gray's allies
02:23was that Number 10 was too much like a boys' club.
02:26Were the Tories ever a boys' club?
02:28No, I don't think so. No, Boris and Co, no.
02:31LAUGHTER
02:33Some of them really loved women, didn't they?
02:36LAUGHTER
02:38Andrea, were you surprised by how many of your colleagues
02:41jumped before they were pushed at the last election?
02:44Um, no, no, I wasn't really.
02:46At least you stuck around to face the music
02:48and you lost your seat at the end.
02:50No, I mean, I believe in going down with the sinking ship.
02:52Really? Absolutely.
02:54And you know you took your seat off Ed Balls?
02:56That means you're responsible for this.
03:00LAUGHTER
03:04If that had happened in a public park,
03:06he would have been arrested.
03:08LAUGHTER
03:10APPLAUSE
03:12Thank you very much.
03:14Maybe he's rehearsing to a Taylor Swift concert
03:16because his wife got some tickets, didn't she?
03:18Oh, she did indeed.
03:20You're absolutely right. According to The Sun,
03:22Sadiq Khan and Yvette Cooper put pressure on the Met Police
03:24to boost security for Taylor Swift at her London concert,
03:27which was attended by Sadiq Khan and Yvette Cooper.
03:30Yeah.
03:31Both have denied there is any link between the two things,
03:34which means that there was.
03:36What else has the government washed its hands of this week?
03:39The Chagos Islands.
03:41Yes. Why did they do that, Ian?
03:43Because over the last 30 years,
03:45the Chagos Islanders have been campaigning
03:47for the rights to their country,
03:49which Britain threw them off in terms of making a military base.
03:52But it's a final deal that's been done between us and Mauritius,
03:55and it's finally happened.
03:57I mean, I was there, actually, at the protest this morning.
04:00Were you? Yes, with the Chagossians.
04:02And what was your view?
04:04It was a previous Labour government
04:06which worked with the US, wasn't it,
04:08to remove them from the islands,
04:10and they said,
04:13and you've done it again.
04:16We just want to... You've done the right thing.
04:18No.
04:19Because the Tories tried to blame this on Starmer,
04:22and then he pointed out that the person
04:24who'd set the process going this time was James Cleverley.
04:27But it's out of the contest, maybe, that's why.
04:29Yeah, but Cleverley then said,
04:31no, it wasn't me, it was Liz Truss,
04:33because she was Foreign Secretary.
04:35You can't believe any of this, can you?
04:37And Liz Truss's supporters said,
04:39it wasn't Liz, it was Boris,
04:41because, God, he was Foreign Secretary!
04:43LAUGHTER
04:46I mean, you wonder why this country
04:48gets in a bit of a mess.
04:50What was you doing with the islands, then?
04:52Me? I'd have given them back to them early on.
04:54If you read early Private Eyes, we did take up this course.
04:57APPLAUSE
05:04Did you release a charity single?
05:06LAUGHTER
05:10We did.
05:11It was called Chagoss and Dave.
05:13LAUGHTER
05:15APPLAUSE
05:17Yes.
05:19You're quite right to say someone else is not happy
05:21about the decision this week.
05:23That was James Cleverley.
05:25Not been a great week for James Cleverley.
05:27What has he lost?
05:29He came third in a two-horse race.
05:31LAUGHTER
05:35That's exactly right.
05:37Pippa Creara in The Guardian reports that Cleverley
05:39was so confident about getting into the final,
05:41he tried to give some of his votes to Robert Genry
05:43to knock out Kemi Badenoch, but it backfired
05:45when his team got the maths wrong.
05:47So, in the end, some MPs who should have voted Cleverley
05:49voted stupidly.
05:51LAUGHTER
05:53But it comes after this quite extraordinary rallying cry.
05:55Do you remember this from last week?
05:57Let's be more normal.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:01To which the Tory party said, no, thanks.
06:03LAUGHTER
06:05So, we are down now to Robert Genry and Kemi Badenoch.
06:08Let's ask someone who really, really understands the Tory party.
06:12Paul, who's your money on?
06:14LAUGHTER
06:16Do you know what I imagined you just said to me?
06:18LAUGHTER
06:20Is the answer Newport Pagnol?
06:22LAUGHTER
06:26What was the point of asking me that?
06:28Have you not seen this show over the last 35 years?
06:30I'm waiting for the story that comes up
06:32with the monkey playing the harmonium.
06:34LAUGHTER
06:36That's when I come alive.
06:38All this stuff, you're wasting your time with this.
06:40Well, then, what's the first ten minutes of this show?
06:42LAUGHTER
06:44I'll turn the sound down and play Boney M.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:48Which one? Is it Rah-Rah Rasputin?
06:50LAUGHTER
06:52Bit too political for me, that one, isn't it?
06:54LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
07:00What do you think happened?
07:02I mean, I think, seriously, he got lent votes
07:07and they wanted Bobby J, Kemi B in the final anyway.
07:10Would you have voted for either of them,
07:12had you still been able to have a vote, which you can't?
07:14I'm not backing it. I'm actually not backing any of them.
07:17Really? I mean, you're on the right of the party.
07:20You must be thrilled, mustn't you?
07:22Yeah, but... Good, that's all I need.
07:24LAUGHTER
07:26No, if you look at the voting record,
07:28they're more One Nation-y to me anyway.
07:30What, those two? God, you are right wing, aren't you?
07:33LAUGHTER
07:35The MP told The Times...
07:42..adding that...
07:47He was actually at Boris' book launch the night before as well, wasn't he?
07:50Who was, Grant Shapps? No, Cleverley, yeah.
07:52He was at Boris' book launch rather than being on the phone to MPs.
07:55Is that where it all went wrong for him, do you think?
07:57Because he was seeking Boris'... Well, loads of MPs was there
08:00at the book launch, you see, so... Ah, they just miscalculated.
08:03Did it go well, the book launch? Oh, it was amazing.
08:05He was on fire, Boris, yeah. Were you there?
08:08Blimey, and you admitted that publicly. I was getting my book signed.
08:11You were getting your book signed. What did he write?
08:13This is fiction.
08:17No, I'm just guessing.
08:21Ian, you're in there, you should be getting royalties.
08:23Yeah, if I'm in the book, he accuses me of being a liar,
08:26which is pretty funny.
08:29I have to disagree there. So you think I am a liar?
08:32Go on. No, I think you're lovely. Do you know behind...?
08:34A lovely liar? No.
08:36Do you know backstage is a different person? Yeah.
08:39Yeah, he was very supportive.
08:41No, that is libelous.
08:46He did say the only thing he regretted was apologising
08:49over his behaviour in Covid.
08:52So when he said, I'm sorry, according to him, he was lying.
08:57That's it, that's the top headline in the book.
08:59I lied when I apologised for my behaviour during Covid.
09:03I shouldn't have apologised.
09:05No matter how many committees, no matter how much evidence,
09:07I should have just lied again.
09:10Have you read the book? Don't worry, he hasn't either.
09:14I've read one chapter, actually.
09:19Finally, for a Boris bonus point, I'm going to show you him
09:22responding to a question, and what I want you to do is to guess
09:25the question that he was asked that elicited this answer.
09:28OK.
09:34Can you remember the occasion when your third child was conceived?
09:43Is, in fact, the correct answer.
09:47Let's have a look at the question. This is from ITV's Tom Bradby.
09:50Who would you like to see as leader of the Tory party?
09:54Which name is he trying to say there?
09:58He'll come back, won't he?
10:00I don't think it's over for him, no.
10:02You don't think it's over?
10:04I still think Boris was one of our better Prime Ministers.
10:07I see you've selected the audience, you know,
10:10the people who don't like Boris or Conservatives.
10:13You can't just say you've selected the audience.
10:16You've got no evidence for that, no proof, it's just bollocks.
10:19This isn't GB News.
10:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:25Hang on, isn't this GB News? I thought I was on GB News.
10:31I'm in the wrong place altogether.
10:33Anyway, right, it has been another week...
10:35No, don't go!
10:37Sorry, that was a bit late, wasn't it?
10:40Yes, this is Labour's first 100 days in power.
10:43For all the upheaval, a downing street inside it
10:46incited an uproar.
10:48For all the upheaval, a downing street inside it
10:51insisted that when it comes to delivery,
10:53the Prime Minister is laser-focused.
10:55That's pretty good, because he can give back
10:57all those glasses that he got for free.
11:00Paul and Miles have a look at this.
11:03There he is. The Great Puppet. Yes, there's the Great Puppet.
11:06Donald T Rump. There is Kamala Harris.
11:09Oh. Elon Musk.
11:11Why is it the richest people in the world are also the weirdest?
11:14There's the Puppet Master. Yes.
11:16Bob Woodward's got a new book out,
11:18one of the original Watergate journalists,
11:20and it says that apparently Donald Trump sent Putin
11:24something called a Covid machine.
11:26I'm not sure what a Covid machine is.
11:28Oh, it's that great machine they had in the lab
11:30that made that virus, do you remember?
11:32Oh, yes. Yeah, it was really...
11:34People were a bit iffy about it.
11:36Scientifically, a real breakthrough.
11:38Yeah, it did what it was designed to do.
11:40Do you remember those Covid tests?
11:42The lateral flow ones? Yeah.
11:44I actually loved them, yeah.
11:46You could get them in different flavours, couldn't you? Yeah, yeah.
11:49I've stopped using cotton buds altogether.
11:54How many times have they spoken since, Trump and Putin?
11:57I'd say seven times. That's exactly right.
11:59Yeah, that's why I said it.
12:01I wouldn't waste your time with hypothetical guesses.
12:05He has, and this is all ahead of the American election,
12:08which is less than a month away,
12:10and Kamala Harris, the Democrat candidate,
12:12has been accused by critics of not doing interviews in her campaign.
12:16What's she actually been doing?
12:18Interviews. A lot of interviews, yes.
12:20You might recall that she boasted to Oprah
12:22about shooting a home intruder.
12:24Yes. What sort of gun has Kamala Harris got?
12:27A Glock.
12:29An Uzi.
12:31She strikes me as an Uzi. Smith & Wesson.
12:33It is a Glock. How do you know so much about guns?
12:36Listen, I can't talk about my days at five.
12:39So, let's keep this side of the river.
12:41Yeah. It is indeed.
12:49Yeah, and what special power do the Democrats have,
12:53according to Marjorie, Jewish space lasers, Taylor Greene?
12:57Oh, yeah, they can create hurricanes.
12:59They can manipulate the weather.
13:01Taylor Greene said of the Democrats,
13:03yes, they can control the weather.
13:05Yes, they can control the weather.
13:07It's ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can't be done.
13:11Now I see it written down. Yeah.
13:15Legend of authority, doesn't it?
13:17Donald Trump must be getting pretty tired
13:19of saying pretty outrageous things himself.
13:21What has he done to lighten the burden on himself?
13:23Oh, he's brought on Elon Musk.
13:25Donald Trump had another rally at the place where the guy shot his ear,
13:28and Elon Musk came on as a special guest
13:30and jumped up in the air and behaved very oddly.
13:32He did. Melania Trump recalled her experience
13:34of the first assassination attempt on her husband.
13:36Do we know what she did?
13:38Reloaded.
13:46So, we're quite familiar with Trump's very unique style of dancing.
13:49You've seen this? Yes. Yeah, yeah.
13:51But why might he be in big trouble for doing this
13:54on January 6th, 2021?
14:03Well, it's just they're not the moves, are they?
14:05You do the left...
14:10But this is the attack on the Senate, isn't it?
14:13Yeah, well, according to the Washington Post,
14:15files issued recently by special counsel Jack Smith
14:18contend that because Trump entered to the Village People's YMCA,
14:22it proves that it was a campaign rally
14:24and Trump was not acting in his official capacity as president,
14:27otherwise he'd have come in on hail to the chief.
14:29And therefore, under the terms of the Supreme Court ruling,
14:32he has no immunity from prosecution.
14:34Oh, that's clever.
14:36That's very good.
14:37Yeah.
14:38And was he doing the letters R-I-O-T?
14:44It's fun to stay in a maximum security jail.
14:51Meanwhile, Argentina's President Millet...
14:53Oh, yeah, that's him doing the YMCA.
14:55Yeah.
14:56At least he knows what he's doing. He's got his arms up.
14:58For heaven's sake.
14:59What's he been up to in America, do you know?
15:01You been following him closely?
15:02No, I haven't, no.
15:03He's actually been delivering a speech to the UN General Assembly
15:06for which he plagiarised huge chunks of dialogue from the West Wing.
15:14That's brilliant.
15:15And he then went off to the Wall Street Stock Exchange
15:17where this is he.
15:20It is just amazing, isn't it, how one moment
15:23It is just amazing, isn't it, how one moment
15:25can capture a political career.
15:33What's going on in that photo, Adrienne?
15:35For those who haven't seen it, that's you.
15:37What was going on there?
15:38Well, you know Steve Bray, the big Remainer guy?
15:40Well, Boris was making his resignation speech,
15:42he was bellowing out there, and I just thought,
15:45you know, you've got what you want now, and so do you, really.
15:49Did it feel good?
15:50Well, the funny thing is, I don't even really swear,
15:53I don't even use my fingers, so I don't know.
15:55You don't use your fingers?
15:57How do you play the piano?
15:58I use my thumbs, yeah.
15:59Oh.
16:00It's a northern thing, yeah.
16:01It's a northern thing?
16:04You couldn't have four fingers when I was growing up.
16:08Two thumbs were good enough for my daddy, good enough for me.
16:13Didn't have a car, you had to hitchhike everywhere you went.
16:16Didn't mind that.
16:21And so to round two.
16:23This is the Globe of News.
16:25Globe of News?
16:26Yeah, things and buzzers.
16:27Yeah, OK.
16:28Spin, spin, spin.
16:30Oh, it's turned into a magic effect.
16:34Well, there's a knot hole in that tree for certain.
16:40I've just found out where the screw lies, he's nuts.
16:42This is...
16:45Unbelievably, I know this is about a tree-hugging competition
16:48in Glasgow.
16:49That's exactly right.
16:50Who was crowned the champion tree-hugger?
16:53Roger Oak.
16:55No, you're in the right...
16:57Peter Willow.
16:58Keep going.
16:59George Willow.
17:00No, keep going.
17:01Sally Willow, Roger Willow.
17:02It's female, an English name beginning with H.
17:05Harriet.
17:06Holly Willow, Holly Willow Bee, she jumped the queue and won.
17:11No, you'd better tell us.
17:12It was Hannah Willow.
17:13Hannah Willow?
17:14Let's have a look at Hannah Willow hugging this tree.
17:18And that is as much as we can show at this time of night.
17:22What did Hannah win?
17:25Day release.
17:36Is that right?
17:37No.
17:38No?
17:39No.
17:40As a result of her win,
17:41Hannah has now qualified to enter the international competition
17:44next year held in the Halipu Forest,
17:47just over 100 miles north of the Arctic Circle.
17:50What a treat for her.
17:52Well done, Hannah.
17:54And in other news to do with names,
17:56who's Steve and what's he been up to in Scotland this week?
18:00A bit general, isn't it?
18:01Yeah.
18:02The clues so far are someone called Peter and Scotland.
18:05No, Steve.
18:06Steve, oh, Christ.
18:07That's much easier.
18:09Steve is, in fact, a rare purple ribbon-like glow
18:12within the northern lights, which was visible in the sky...
18:15Look at that, it's gorgeous.
18:16..which was visible in the skies above Scotland
18:18and northern England this week.
18:19But the question is, why is it called Steve?
18:22Named after the first person that identified it.
18:25Peter.
18:29Steve actually stands for
18:31Strong Thermal Emission Velocity Enhancement.
18:34According to the BBC, Steve is unpredictable
18:36and only lasts for a short time.
18:39As every wife of a Steve will tell you.
18:44What other weather phenomenon did the BBC warn us about this week?
18:47Oh, hurricanes up to 14,000 miles per hour in Great Britain.
18:52There was a glitch on their weather thing,
18:54and so at one point it was saying that London,
18:56Salford was another place, 14,000 miles per hour wind.
18:59Before that, there was a warning about temperature,
19:01so a glitch on the BBC weather website...
19:03Yeah.
19:05..in Nottingham.
19:08That's quite warm, isn't it? You need to take your coat off for that.
19:11And then, as you say, Paul,
19:13winds of 14,827 miles per hour in Windsor.
19:18He's got Grant Shapps on the numbers.
19:20Yeah.
19:26The way you said that, you made it sound like a medical complaint
19:28going to the doctors.
19:29I've got a touch of Grant Shapps.
19:31I've not been able to sit down straight for a fortnight.
19:34Oh.
19:39This is the first Glasgow tree-hugging tournament,
19:42or, as it will be known by historians,
19:44the only Glasgow tree-hugging tournament.
19:47Meanwhile, the north of England has been treated
19:49to a rare aurora called Steve.
19:51According to one scientist, you need to seek out a rural setting
19:54or park away from city lights, bring a reclining chair or blanket,
19:58then relax and wait for Steve.
20:02Which is also the instructions if you wish to go dogging.
20:09I thought I recognised your voice!
20:15I feel like I'm stinking here!
20:19Here we go, here we go, here we go.
20:21Spinning the wheel, there we go, spinning the globe, yep.
20:24WHIRRING
20:26BUZZER
20:28Oh, you're confident.
20:29Brackley in England.
20:30Yeah, it's been a hi-vis hugging competition.
20:34He's called Roger Hi-Vis.
20:37That looks like the word pothole written on his jacket.
20:40Is it the man who just got so fed up
20:42he just started mending potholes himself?
20:45Exactly right, well done.
20:46His name is Mark Morrill.
20:48He's a former town mayor.
20:49What's his nickname?
20:50Mark the Pothole.
20:51Mr Pothole. Mr Pothole.
20:53Yeah.
20:54He claims he's responsible for getting 10,000 potholes filled in.
20:58Oh, good.
20:59Good on him. He pesters the council, basically.
21:01He's not going around with tarmac and stuff.
21:03This is a letter-writing campaign.
21:05It's a sort of more Amnesty International approach.
21:08In other road news, which motorway has been voted Britain's worst?
21:12Oh, that was something like the M8, was it?
21:14No. I thought it was the M40.
21:16No.
21:1832. No.
21:19No.
21:20The M56.
21:21M1 with all the cameras? No.
21:22No, it's the M42.
21:23So, a survey of road users...
21:25Oh, I know I like that game. Can we do another one?
21:30So, that was your starter for ten.
21:32I'm now going to give you three bonus questions on Britain's roads,
21:35and you may confirm, OK?
21:36Right, yeah.
21:37Still ready.
21:38His lot, Magdalen.
21:41Merton, slightly more cheerful.
21:51That's not how it works on University Challenge,
21:53so I'm not actually buzzing on the bonuses, but sod it.
21:55How do you know?
21:56Well, I am involved, so...
21:58Are you? Yeah, yeah.
21:59Yeah, he was a mystery optic one week.
22:05Things are buzzing. Here's your first bonus, OK?
22:07Yes.
22:14BUZZER
22:16Melton Mowbray.
22:17No.
22:18Is it Shakespeare?
22:20It's Ashby de la Zouche.
22:22Oh, good.
22:23Question number two.
22:30Ipswich.
22:31It's Lowestoft.
22:32This is bloody hard.
22:33This is quite hard.
22:34It's good.
22:43A3.
22:44God, you lot are shit, man.
22:46Did you say that on University Challenge?
22:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:49We're not shit, Emil, we have drivers.
22:58It's the A19.
23:00And now they're gone.
23:02I'm afraid to say that's the end of the round.
23:04At the end of the series, goodnight.
23:06Not really.
23:09Fingers on buzzers, teams.
23:12Something big happened.
23:14In China?
23:15Yeah.
23:16What, with the planned economy?
23:18I don't think so.
23:19Release the virus or something?
23:21No...
23:24No, they've not done that.
23:25Not this week.
23:26Clover, this is the news that a sewage pipe in China
23:30has violently exploded, and I think we need to see
23:33the events of the next round.
23:35It's the A19.
23:36It's the A19.
23:37It's the A19.
23:38A19 has violently exploded, and I think we need to see
23:41the event in question.
23:44Oh!
23:50Oh, my God.
23:53Oh!
24:00Oh, my God.
24:02That would be my vote for the worst motorway.
24:08APPLAUSE
24:12This is the news that a Chinese sewage pipe exploded
24:15next to a busy road, covering passers-by with human waste,
24:18an incident described by Thames Water as pretty amateur.
24:28Time now for the Missing Words round, and we start with...
24:35Is it Dick Curdles?
24:37Sorry?
24:38I beg your pardon?
24:41Oh, I see, I thought you were talking about a bloke
24:43called Dick Curdles.
24:44No!
24:46Surprise after Gibbons spotted doing the robot dance.
24:50Oh, wow.
24:51Would you like to see said dancing, Gibbon?
24:53Yes, please.
24:54Here it is.
24:57Sorry, sorry, sorry, wrong clip.
24:58This is what we're looking for, this one here.
25:00There it is.
25:07He's doing the funky Gibbons, isn't he?
25:10Do you think maybe that's just an electric fence?
25:14Next...
25:18Repeatedly telling people.
25:20Oh, hello, I'm not in the office today, I'm working from home.
25:25No, we make working from home more pleasurable
25:28by using a lying-down desk.
25:30Oh!
25:32Here is inventor Alex May under his desk.
25:38It would be a good advert for a futon, wouldn't it?
25:41Yeah.
25:42What happened to futons?
25:44God, the past was great.
25:47No, you can still get a futon.
25:49Oh, can I? Yeah.
25:50Have you got one with you?
25:54This one was provided by Lord Ali.
26:01Finally, merchandise for upcoming Oasis tour to include what?
26:05Matching oven gloves.
26:06Is that what you do this with?
26:08A whip?
26:09Is it disciplining interns?
26:10Yeah.
26:14Is that an oven chuck of theirs?
26:17This is merchandise for upcoming Oasis tour to include...
26:20Yeah?
26:21Fly swatter.
26:23That wasn't a fly swatter, what you were doing there?
26:25Yes, it was.
26:26Have I got this wrong? A fly swatter is a kind of vigorous...
26:29You've not got it wrong, you're just too angry.
26:32You've got to try and seduce them into a relaxed mood.
26:35Have you tried low-lighting?
26:39So, the final scores are Ian and Andrea have three points,
26:43Paul and Miles have five points.
26:45Well done.
26:46Congratulations.
26:48I wonder what that's for.
26:52It's beyond the losing team.
26:54Can't think why.
26:55I'm always on it, so...
26:58I've rubbed off on you, haven't I?
27:00Well, not yet.
27:03Before we go, there's just time for the caption competition.
27:06Geoffrey, I don't want to embarrass you,
27:08but you've forgotten to put your socks on again.
27:14I'm impressed that you've managed to get your helmet
27:16over the handlebars.
27:21On which lovely note, we say thank you to our panellists,
27:24Ian Hislop and Dame Andrea Jenkins, Paul Merton and Miles Jupp.
27:28And I leave you with news that...
27:43At the City Hall in Pennsylvania,
27:45it's nearly time for a hot milky drink.
27:50And on a visit to a coffee shop,
27:52one man starts to understand how unpopular he's become
27:55as he notices the barista has spelt out
27:57NOBODY LIKES YOU on the top of his cappuccino.
28:04Goodnight!