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00:00For a Game Changer, tonight's guest,
00:03Professor of Um, Actuallyology is Mike Trapp.
00:07Hey!
00:10New York Times Best Punning Novelist, it's Rekha Shunker.
00:14Hello!
00:16And recipient of the MacArthur Wholesome Grant,
00:19it's Ryan Kramer.
00:22And your host, me.
00:24I've been here the whole time.
00:27This is Game Changer, the only game show
00:30where the game changes every show.
00:31I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:33I am joined today by these three lovely contestants.
00:37Now, you all understand how the game works?
00:39No. No.
00:41That's right, our players have no idea
00:43what game it is they're about to play.
00:44The only way to learn is by playing.
00:47The only way to win is by learning,
00:48and the only way to begin is by beginning.
00:50So without further ado, let's begin.
00:54Ryan, you've watched a TED Talk in your life, I assume?
00:59Yes.
00:59Well, in a moment, I am going to ask you to give one,
01:03to share with us a big idea.
01:07But don't worry, I'm here to help.
01:08I've made for you a presentation to go along with,
01:11the only issue being you've never seen it before.
01:14Ready to go?
01:15Okay, I think I'm ready to go, yeah.
01:17Ryan, your first slide.
01:22The sun.
01:24This thing is hot.
01:26I don't know about you guys,
01:27but I certainly couldn't live there.
01:30Next slide.
01:35So all we know on earth, correct me if I'm wrong,
01:38is that people are apt to lose their hair.
01:40I think that's fair to say.
01:41Right.
01:42So here's my thought.
01:43If we go to the fucking sun,
01:45we shoot on a rocket straight the hell
01:48right into the middle of it.
01:49Now, listen, I know what you're all saying.
01:51Too hot, we can't get on there.
01:52It might burn us all up.
01:54But if there's some sort of cool rocket
01:57that will shoot right through all the hotness.
01:59When you say some kind of cool rocket,
02:01you mean like temperature cool,
02:03not like, it's just like a cool rocket.
02:06So glad you asked.
02:07No, I do mean a cool rocket.
02:08Something that's really, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:10I will make a point.
02:11The only thing worth going to in the middle of the sun
02:14is for hair regrowth.
02:16And this is just a model of what I think could happen.
02:18Next slide, please.
02:21All right.
02:22There's going to be a couple of things we need
02:24to build this cool rocket.
02:27And I'm just going to run through them all.
02:29You may know these beans
02:30and that's exactly what we're going to need.
02:31All right.
02:32The cool rocket will run on pinto.
02:35It'll be made out of kidney.
02:37We need limo just for the people to eat on the way there.
02:40You don't want them eating the rocket.
02:41That's for sure.
02:43Negative, negative, negative.
02:45If it's a whole bean treated rocket.
02:47Hey, pause off the rocket, please.
02:49You've got all the-
02:51Hey, if you're trying to eat some uncooked beans,
02:53that's what we got the bag of limos here for.
02:56No, I know it's hard to distinguish
02:58between the beans you can eat
03:00and the spaceship which you can't.
03:01Absolutely.
03:02But I want to make clear,
03:03our astronauts will be given very intensive bean training
03:07before the cool rocket launch.
03:10Are you sure it's easier to give astronauts bean training
03:12than it is to give bean experts astronaut training?
03:15Next slide.
03:18Yeah, fuck four and five.
03:19Next slide.
03:20Yeah, we don't need four and five.
03:22Once again, whack and mung at the short end of the stick.
03:25So, all right.
03:29We'll be frank with you, all right?
03:30We took this to the government and they were not into it.
03:35The cool rocket confused them.
03:36They weren't as excited as you guys were.
03:39Funding was a huge issue.
03:40Obviously, there's a lot of things going on
03:42in the world right now.
03:43They made the argument deserve more funding
03:44than the cool rocket and go into the middle of the sun
03:47to grow our hair back.
03:48So, that's why I'm coming to you guys,
03:50hoping that you will fund this.
03:52We need $45 billion.
03:56Why did you choose to use an X-out thumbs up
03:59instead of a thumbs down?
04:00Great question.
04:01So, we couldn't secure,
04:02the Getty Images is a thumbs down
04:04and we didn't have the licensing rights.
04:06You already purchased a thumbs up.
04:08You blew your budget on thumbs up.
04:10Now, I'm no Photoshop expert.
04:12But is not a thumbs up just an upside down thumbs up?
04:18You know what, Rekha?
04:22That is so funny because I didn't even think to do that.
04:26So, next slide, please.
04:28In conclusion, guys, our work is cut out for us.
04:30I mean, a lot of money needs to be secured.
04:33And so, in conclusion, I would just like to ask,
04:35next slide, please.
04:36This is your last slide.
04:37Guys, I will be honest.
04:38I rehearsed this presentation really hard
04:41in the thoughts that there would be a slide after this.
04:44I think without a visual aid,
04:46I don't feel comfortable truly ending it.
04:48So, with that, I just thank you for your time.
04:50Wow.
04:52Ryan, let's say a two points for you.
04:56Rekha, time for your TED Talk style presentation
05:00beginning with this.
05:03Now, Sam, let me ask where are you from?
05:05Oh, how dare you?
05:09I had assumed we were safely in another game format.
05:13There is no bitch we will not run into the ground.
05:18We will juice every last drop of juice out of a bitch.
05:22You would say, as Trapp so sweetly put it,
05:25that that bitch has been juiced to death.
05:27Yeah, yeah.
05:28I think that's safe to say.
05:29I think it's lived its nine lives.
05:31Yeah.
05:32Have you guys ever loved something so much,
05:34you just overuse it?
05:36Yeah.
05:37Okay, next slide.
05:40Well, so has my friend Devin.
05:43Devin lives with passion, right?
05:45Sounds like a few of you in the audience.
05:47Cut to a crowd, just one woman nodding.
05:51Devin lives life to the fullest.
05:52Devin uses a bit till people issue
05:55a restraining order against her.
05:56She goes too hard.
05:58Devin versus everyone else, Devin's heavier.
06:04Because her passion far exceeds her human form.
06:08Next slide.
06:10Now, what I'm posing to you is something so passionate
06:14that maybe you won't even understand it at first.
06:16You know, we have pride in our country, right?
06:18Oh, go America, USA, USA, whatever.
06:22Every day I say that.
06:24Sir, in the audience, you strike me as an Orioles fan.
06:27I'm talking to the redhead.
06:28Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
06:30And how would you express that?
06:32Wearing clothes, I guess.
06:33Wearing clothes.
06:36Wearing an Orioles hat, perhaps.
06:38An Orioles hat, perhaps.
06:39What I am suggesting here today,
06:42I think that Americans could use
06:44a little more pride in themselves.
06:47I think that the entire North Midwest,
06:51as I like to call it,
06:53could just have a big old baseball hat.
06:56Is this giant hat gonna have effect on, you know,
06:59the weather, the climate?
07:00It's gotta have some ecological effects, right?
07:03Pollution, smog, I don't like these things.
07:06Neither does Devin, and neither do you,
07:08by virtue of the transitive property, you are Devin.
07:11What if we are actually creating
07:14a little control experiment for climate change?
07:16And we're saying,
07:17we don't want any of that disgusting pollution
07:19from your lower, the lower of 45.
07:26So next slide.
07:29Now, you asked me,
07:32how are we gonna make a baseball hat
07:35to express American pride
07:36over states like Minnesota,
07:37over states like Wisconsin,
07:39over states like Michigan?
07:40I'll say two of those were key states in the election.
07:43And that's exactly where I'm going with this.
07:47Tell me more.
07:48The only way we can get this project up and running
07:51is if we don't forget to barf.
07:54Biden and real financing.
08:00Real financing.
08:02So we need our figurehead to support this,
08:05and then we need actual money behind it.
08:08You know, Rehka, there is a really odd way
08:10in which that all kind of came together at the end.
08:12I mean, a hat dome as climate change experiments.
08:16I'm not exactly sure how the stove and the scale fit in.
08:21Because this plan is cooking,
08:23and it's gonna bubble up and cake the stove.
08:26You know what?
08:27I was impressed enough
08:28by how you turned that performance around at the end there
08:30that I will give you the two points.
08:33That's two points for Ryan, two points for Rehka.
08:35Damn, it's a dead heat.
08:36Mr. Trapp.
08:37Yes.
08:38Inspire us with your big talk, starting here.
08:45What is a human?
08:47What makes someone someone?
08:50For ages, we've tried to understand
08:54what is the divine spark inside all of us,
08:56the soul, maybe, that makes us who we are.
08:59And I say to you that we don't need to worry about the soul.
09:03We need to worry about the three major parts
09:06that make a person a person.
09:07And those are, of course, predominantly skin, some hair,
09:12and then a little bit of blood.
09:14From my estimation,
09:15I've got quite a bit more blood than hair.
09:18I had the same question.
09:19That's actually a common misconception.
09:22Next slide, please.
09:23Now, with that being said,
09:25what if a human could be more than just blood, hair, and skin?
09:29Oh, yes.
09:31What if a human could have hooves?
09:34Of course, the dream is always
09:35to be the hottest centaur in the world.
09:38But, you know, we're gonna have to start small.
09:40We're gonna focus on those hooves.
09:41If we can get hooves as a part of the average human,
09:45then we can achieve our true potential.
09:47Next slide, please.
09:49Now, in the,
09:53in the early 1800s,
09:55this was an era of ingenuity and big dreams.
10:01This was the original plan for getting hooves onto people.
10:04The sights were set pretty low.
10:06They knew from, like, the first major milestones,
10:08they're like, this ain't gonna happen, right?
10:12They knew we were looking at hooves.
10:13But we thought that by 1959, certainly into 1971,
10:18that we could get hooves onto people.
10:21Is there anything to be said about the confluence
10:24of these initiatives with, like, major wars?
10:31I'm noticing, you know, lots of no's leading up
10:33to World War II, and honestly, wow,
10:36like, we've got the, you know, the Korean War,
10:38and then we've got the Gulf War right at the end,
10:40where nobody knows.
10:42War has a way of spurring technology,
10:45and advances in the sciences, unfortunately,
10:48do sometimes occur around major conflicts,
10:52and I don't think I even need to explain
10:55how hooves would be beneficial on the battlefield,
10:57as I think that's pretty self-evident.
10:59We've seen some setbacks,
11:00but I think as we'll see in our next slide,
11:03there is actually hope for the future.
11:05I want everyone in the audience right now,
11:10I want you all to look at your hand,
11:12hold out your palm, look at it.
11:15No, you're not imagining things.
11:17It's a little hoof-like.
11:22I don't see that at all.
11:23Yeah, I don't know, like, wait.
11:25I don't think you look hard enough.
11:26In one way.
11:27And also, if I was gonna be a centaur,
11:29wouldn't I just get four legs,
11:30and my hands would remain the same?
11:32No, most people assume that in becoming a centaur,
11:34you would grow a lower half,
11:37but in point of fact, from your shoulders down
11:40becomes horse, and a new torso grows up
11:42from where your neck is.
11:43Oh my God, it's like horse overalls.
11:45Yes, exactly.
11:46Yes, horse overalls.
11:47But yes, if you compare your hands
11:49with the hands of someone from 1800,
11:52you'll see it is significantly more hoof-like.
11:53Our dreams of making a human
11:56more than just skin and hair and blood,
11:58but in fact, skin, hair, blood, and hooves
12:01is closer today than it ever has been before.
12:03Wow, Trapp, really well-rounded,
12:06bringing it all together at the end there
12:09for a little bit of an interactive experience.
12:12Remaining on message throughout,
12:14I give you the full three points.
12:17Thank you very much.
12:19Scorers, as we head into the mini game,
12:21Ryan with two, Rekha with two, Trapp with three.
12:24Academics think they know everything,
12:27but everyone has holes in their knowledge.
12:29Today, we're going to play a game called Who's the Expert?
12:34I have invited in an academic to join us
12:38and have here a list of topics,
12:40each of which one of the three of you is an expert in,
12:45and you will each have 10 seconds
12:48to convince our academic
12:49that you are the expert on that topic.
12:53Make sense?
12:54Okay, I think so.
12:55Introducing now, a professor of sociology
13:00at Columbia University and my brother, Adam Reich.
13:03Hey, man, thank you so much for joining us.
13:07What do you think about the notion of expertise?
13:10Well, expertise is dead.
13:12Okay, and so we should get rid of the game.
13:14This is gonna be great for us, yeah.
13:17The very premise of the game is deeply flawed.
13:19What do you mean expertise is dead?
13:23Trust in expert knowledge is at an all time low.
13:26Trust in scientific expertise more generally
13:29has been declining for the last 30, 40 years.
13:32So all of your expertise is really, it's all full of shit.
13:39All right, Rekha, you have 10 seconds to convince me
13:41that you're the expert in Frasier.
13:44Frasier was a show that was on from 1993 to 2003
13:48starring Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce,
13:51Perry Gilpin, and Jane Leaves.
13:53It is about a man who lives with his father
13:55and it is a love story between two brothers,
13:57a father and a son, and a dog.
13:59And that's it for Rekha going to trap for 10.
14:02Frasier is a spinoff of Tears
14:04with the character of Frasier played by Kelsey Grammer.
14:06Most of the comedy from the show comes from this idea
14:09of Frasier's a very high class individual
14:12with his low class, low brow, blue collar father
14:15and the comedy that comes from the interactions between.
14:1710 seconds over, Ryan.
14:19Joe Frasier was a boxer who took on Muhammad Ali
14:22in the 1980s in the Rumble in the Jungle.
14:24Down went Frasier, the iconic phrase
14:26where Joe Frasier knocked down, knocked out.
14:29Muhammad Ali, the winner of the Rumble in the Jungle
14:32has gone on to have a storied career.
14:34And that is it.
14:36Adam, who do you think the expert is?
14:38I think it's very clear that the expert is Rekha.
14:43Trap.
14:44You have 10 seconds to convince me
14:46that you're the expert in vegan desserts.
14:49So the thing with vegan desserts
14:50is that you're gonna have to be,
14:52you're replacing a lot of things like eggs and dairy
14:55that people tend to like in desserts,
14:57but there are a lot of great substitutes
14:58that you can have there.
14:59There's vegan butter, there's coconut oil,
15:01and there's things like chia seeds that you can moisturize.
15:04And that's it for Trap.
15:05Rekha, 10 seconds.
15:07Miyoko's vegan butter is the worst vegan butter on earth.
15:10It tastes like coconuts.
15:11The other things you can use are earth-balanced sticks,
15:13earth-balanced margarine.
15:14You can also use tapioca flour.
15:16You can use arrowroot starch and all sorts of things
15:19to get a thickening agent into your vegan dessert.
15:21You can also use alfalfa.
15:22That's it for Rekha.
15:22Ryan.
15:24Vegan desserts defeated by Muhammad Ali in the 1980s.
15:27Down goes vegan desserts crushed by the strong hands
15:30of the very strong, fast, float like a butterfly,
15:32sting like a bee, Muhammad Ali.
15:35Rumble the Jungle, iconic in the ring.
15:38And that is it.
15:39That's who you think the expert was.
15:42This feels like a trick question
15:44because there's no such thing as expertise
15:46in vegan desserts.
15:47They're just disgusting.
15:50But I'll give it to Mike.
15:53Fair enough.
15:54It goes to Mike.
15:55Ryan, you have 10 seconds to convince me
15:58that you are the expert in The Sims.
16:01Go.
16:02The Sims is a simulation game where you're a family.
16:05There's The Sims 1, 2.
16:05They had expansion packs for both.
16:07And there was 3 and 4 on PC, Mac.
16:10And yeah, it's a game where you build a family
16:12and live out a life on your computer.
16:1410 seconds, Rekha.
16:15The Sims is a single player simulation game
16:17where you can be a character in a family
16:19and you can also have expansion packs
16:20where you have dogs and cats and magic and vampires.
16:22And you can also have a job.
16:23You can go to The Sims at work.
16:25And you can also grow older.
16:26Starting in The Sims 2, you're able to age with your Sim
16:29and they could die of old age or die of starvation,
16:31which is really a fascinating.
16:33And 10 seconds to trap.
16:36The Sims, the winner of the Rumble in the Jungle.
16:40Muhammad Ali.
16:42No one was expecting it,
16:43but there, a little diamond floating right above his head.
16:46The Sims, there's a whole family of them coming in
16:48just wailing on the side.
16:49And that's it.
16:51Adam, who do you think the expert was in The Sims?
16:55I'm disturbed by Rekha's, the form of her expertise.
17:00She's killing off characters.
17:02However, it does demonstrate a textured knowledge
17:06of the game playing.
17:08So I think I might have to go for Rekha.
17:11Adam, well done.
17:13The answer to all three of these was Rekha.
17:16That's so psycho-sounding.
17:20I was losing my fucking mind.
17:25Adam, thank you so, so much.
17:27Thank you, brother.
17:28Bye, everyone.
17:29Bye, Adam.
17:30All right, boys, as we head into round two of our game,
17:34Ryan with two, Trap with four, Rekha with four,
17:36a dead heat.
17:38Ryan.
17:39Yeah.
17:39Would you inspire us?
17:42Totally.
17:45Your first slide being.
17:48All right.
17:49Well, this almost goes without saying, you guys.
17:53So why say it?
17:55I don't even need to explain this.
17:56I think we've all known this for quite some time,
17:59but it helps every now and then for points to be reiterated
18:02so they don't get lost in time.
18:03This is your brain on hugs.
18:05And as you can tell by electricity coming out of it
18:07and the smiles that they're sharing,
18:09it's just absolutely astounding.
18:12I mean, I love it.
18:12People love it.
18:13And next slide.
18:18To be clear, the lightning is good.
18:20Yeah.
18:21And to that same effect, this Grim Reaper is also good.
18:26In this diagram, we see the intersection of death,
18:30often thought of as a sad thing to be lamented,
18:34thing to be feared.
18:35Cats die.
18:36This woman will die.
18:38Today?
18:39Yes.
18:40These will both die today.
18:42I have them backstage and it is going to happen.
18:45What I want to make clear to you
18:46is that they back there are so afraid.
18:49But before I came out here, I hugged them both.
18:53They did say, stop, you don't have to do this.
18:55But they also smiled a little bit.
18:56And that just goes to show in the face of death,
18:59the power of hugs is enormous.
19:01Do you know that woman?
19:02I do very well.
19:03This is my aunt.
19:06Next slide, please.
19:10Now, this is where things go off the path.
19:12I think you think, what is the point of this presentation?
19:15Hugs are great.
19:16Everyone knows that.
19:17I do need to make this clear.
19:18A hug of Santa is a kiss of death.
19:21It likened to an atomic bomb blast.
19:23There's radiation for weeks.
19:26We don't know what's chemically within him,
19:27but I beg of you not to hug Santa Claus.
19:30From what I've understood about Santa is that he's nice.
19:34Totally.
19:35So what is this you're telling me now
19:36that he'll cause nuclear destruction?
19:38I'm so glad you brought that up.
19:39So are we familiar with the Grinch?
19:41Intimately.
19:42Intimately, great.
19:44Sexually, yes.
19:46So in the story of the Grinch,
19:48I mean, obviously the warmth, the love,
19:50the hugs that he's given grow his heart three sizes.
19:54As the biggest size in the world,
19:56he has the biggest heart ever.
19:58And if he is to be hugged,
19:59you know, like in Spider-Man 2, the sun they build,
20:02it's kind of like that,
20:03where the hug will explode out and destroy everything.
20:07What does this say about Santa's relationship
20:09with Mrs. Claus?
20:10Very good question.
20:12Uh-oh.
20:14They ain't getting any action.
20:16Rekha, that's verbatim it.
20:18They ain't getting any action.
20:21So take from that what you will,
20:24but it is what it is.
20:25Next slide, please.
20:26The centerpiece of my argument,
20:29what all of this has been leading up to,
20:32I regrettably, I think as we can all see,
20:35it's having a little bit of trouble.
20:37In rehearsal, we couldn't get it to work,
20:39so I don't know why I thought it would work now.
20:41Just suffice it to say,
20:42it was a very well-produced CGI recreation
20:46of what would happen if you were to hug Santa Claus.
20:48And I mean, the people who did work on it,
20:50I just want to thank them,
20:51because you guys can imagine how cool it would have been.
20:54Thank you so much for your time.
20:58Very well done, Ryan.
20:59I really liked how you managed
21:01to sort of dig holes for yourself
21:03and then try to scare Perron out of them.
21:05I'll give you two points.
21:07All right.
21:08The thesis of which I think I can say is,
21:11we should all hug each other, but not Santa.
21:13Yes, exactly.
21:14He's a frightening beast.
21:15Rekha.
21:16Okay.
21:17Let's hear your big idea, starting here.
21:22Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
21:27I think this is going to be a good one.
21:31Aren't you guys so tired of small talk?
21:42Hey, honey.
21:43How are you doing?
21:44Hi, I'm doing fine.
21:46Oh my God.
21:47How's the weather?
21:48Why don't you go outside and check yourself?
21:50Why don't you go outside and check yourself?
21:52Well, I posture to you,
21:53hot dogs are like the small talk of food.
21:56Just something boring and droll.
22:01Oh, you don't know what to eat?
22:02Pick up a hot dog at the vendor.
22:05It's tiring and I think we deserve better.
22:08It's something we're settling for.
22:09Mm, okay.
22:10Next slide.
22:15The redhead up front.
22:17You're laughing. Why?
22:19Don't give it to her, Ryan.
22:20Why are you laughing?
22:21Because I would venture to say you laughing is sort of offensive.
22:25Because I think you're laughing
22:26because this duck is in a business suit
22:28and has a nice body.
22:30That's exactly what I was laughing at, yeah.
22:32Well, that's what I have to say is a common misconception.
22:36That this duck can't exalt itself to be a businessman.
22:39This is what I'm saying.
22:40You're settling for hot dogs.
22:41You're settling for a duck just sitting around
22:43quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
22:45You're not believing that anything can be a level above
22:48what it is now.
22:49I just have a question of clarification.
22:50Okay.
22:51What is the misconception here?
22:53The misconception is that this duck can't dream about being a man.
22:57The misconception is that it's a fantasy.
22:59The misconception is that that should be in a thought bubble
23:03and not a speech bubble.
23:04Speech bubble.
23:06Yes.
23:07It's not a thought. It is.
23:09Next slide.
23:11So what I'm here today is to tell you
23:15that you can exalt anything in your mind to be at a higher level.
23:21You can achieve more than you think you can.
23:24For instance, redhead in the front.
23:26Can you please stop picking on me?
23:28Tell me what this graph means.
23:31Yeah, you do the presentation.
23:32What? No, no.
23:35Let me tell you, redhead, you're stuttering.
23:37I feel picked on.
23:39There's something deep in your psyche that feels picked on,
23:42that feels lesser than, that feels you can't explain this graph.
23:45Well, I'm here to tell you, even the most confusing graph
23:48that my son put together can be understood.
23:51Look at this graph.
23:52I told my son, make something incomprehensible.
23:54Let me trick the audience.
23:55Let me see if they really doubt their mind capacity that much.
23:59And you all fell for it.
24:00And I'm sorry you fell for it.
24:01But I'm here to tell you, you can understand this graph.
24:04Look at this.
24:04All it's saying is that volcanic eruptions have sort of had
24:09a relatively similar level of occurrence from 1960 to 2010,
24:14whereas women named Allison has been on a relative decline
24:19and then an uptick, and that these two patterns are unrelated.
24:22To be clear, you're saying that this is a silly slide
24:27your child made that you put into the presentation to prove
24:32that anyone could do anything?
24:40Stand up, sir.
24:40Stand up.
24:41Stand up, sir.
24:42Okay, but I'll be out of frame.
24:45Sir, you're the first person in this audience today
24:49that has chosen to believe in themselves,
24:52that has chosen to look at something confusing and go,
24:54no, that's possible.
24:56Ducks can wear suits.
24:57Graphs can mean something.
24:59Next slide, unless this is done.
25:00No, there's one more.
25:01Uh-oh.
25:03The only person on my side in this argument so far has been Adam Driver.
25:08We do phone calls about this.
25:09We're trying to get the word out.
25:11We're trying to get people to believe in themselves,
25:13to believe that they are more than they think they are,
25:15but they think he's bananas.
25:17People think he's bananas.
25:20Thank you, Rekha, for telling us very passionately
25:25and in a very roundabout way to believe in ourselves.
25:29I will give you two points for that absolutely insane presentation.
25:34Trap.
25:35Let's do it.
25:36Here's your first slide.
25:38Folks, there's a problem with society these days
25:43that we've all run into at some point or another.
25:45We've all been invited to a mysterious mansion.
25:49No explanation about why we're there.
25:52No explanation about what binds the other strangers that are in that room.
25:56Yet, within that house are the tools of our own destruction.
26:01A candlestick, a rope, a wrench, a gun, a knife, a lead pipe.
26:07Not pictured here.
26:08Didn't have the money to get the picture of the lead pipe.
26:12These dangers are there, and I do believe that there is a solution.
26:17That solution is here on our next slide.
26:18Let's take a look.
26:23It's fish, people.
26:25Not fish, people.
26:25It's fish, people.
26:27I'm addressing you.
26:28You see, I told you.
26:29The people.
26:29Dangers lurk everywhere,
26:32and who better to teach us how to confront those dangers than fish?
26:36Now, it is because of the dangers that these fish face.
26:40One of the oldest, the oldest branches of the tree of life on Earth.
26:44They're still thriving.
26:45They're still living because they know how to confront danger.
26:48Now, how specifically do fish deal with danger?
26:52Next slide, please.
26:57Well, it's like that joke about the boy in the waterfront, you know?
27:02This is one of his greatest.
27:03I've seen him do, I've seen a YouTube video of this joke.
27:06You love this joke.
27:08This joke is so funny.
27:11Film it, film it.
27:12I'm surprised he's doing it again.
27:13It's a classic, really.
27:14It's hard to beat.
27:15The boy walks up to a water fountain.
27:20Leans in, presses the button, squirts him in the eye.
27:24Fuck, the boy screams.
27:27Whoa, okay.
27:28Fuck, shit, ass.
27:30Wipes the water out of his eye.
27:32Leans in for another sip, because he's, the boy's thirsty.
27:34Presses the button, right in the eye again.
27:36The other eye this time.
27:37Again, stream of profanity is the likes of which a young boy should not know.
27:43Erupting out of his mouth.
27:45But he's so thirsty.
27:49This is the best part.
27:51This is the best part.
27:52The boy goes, he leans in.
27:55He presses the button, straight down his throat, right into his lungs.
28:00He drowns.
28:05The boy goes up to heaven.
28:07Oh, it's still going, all right.
28:08He's talking to St. Peter, and he's like,
28:09all I wanted in life was just a little bit of refreshment.
28:12What's going on here?
28:14And St. Peter says to the boy,
28:21better than getting it in the eye the third time, right?
28:26How is this about film?
28:27Now, what does this teach us?
28:29We're dealing with a law of numbers here.
28:30Many people are going to die as we figure out what these dangers are,
28:33and we figure it out.
28:34But someone is going to find the solution.
28:37Someone is going to try something different.
28:39They're going to find the way to survive.
28:41And then we can all adopt that new strategy and live.
28:44And that's exactly what you're going to see on my next slide.
28:47Great.
28:48Yes.
28:52This is the pyramid of time.
28:58Like nutrition, this tells us how we should be living our lives.
29:03You want a healthy dose of is, the present, all right?
29:06That should be most of your time, living in the present,
29:08assessing the dangers around you.
29:11Also important, the was.
29:13These are things you've already learned.
29:14These are things you've learned from other people who you've seen die.
29:16Then the will be, looking ahead to the future.
29:19What dangers do you see coming down the pipeline?
29:22And finally, the least important, the will have been.
29:26A little bit of that future retrospection can be valuable.
29:29People are going to die, but we shouldn't ignore them.
29:32We shouldn't ignore the strategies that they took.
29:34The people dying right now, the people who died previously,
29:38the people you think might die, and the least important of all,
29:41the people who will have been dead in the future.
29:44Next slide, please.
29:46So, that was all just an introduction.
29:50We've got a lot more to talk about.
29:54For the comedy value, I desperately want to just give you one point.
30:01Yes, I think, Trapp, for that absolute Herculean display of nonsense,
30:07I will give you one point.
30:10Totally reasonable.
30:11The score at the end of our game is Ryan with four points,
30:17Trapp with five, and Rekha with six.
30:21Rekha, you get to pick something from the winner menu.
30:28I'll choose the Gold Belly credits.
30:30Gold Belly credits for Rekha.
30:32Trapp, you may pick something off of the loser menu.
30:35Ooh, that's fun. Let's see.
30:38I always insult Sam, so that's not really that special.
30:41I'll promote something.
30:43Ooh, great.
30:44Mr. Zach Oyama, who you all know from College Humor and from Dropout,
30:47is recording his own live play D&D podcast called the Rotating Heroes podcast.
30:53It'll be like a bunch of very short arcs
30:55where lots of different people are going to be playing.
30:57Ryan, something off of the loser menu.
31:00I'll give a virtual hug to my squad real quick.
31:02Oh, that's cute.
31:08I like it.
31:09That does it for us here at Game Changer.
31:12I'm Sam Reich reminding you that the only difference between a good idea
31:17and a bad idea is all in the presentation.
31:19Good night.
31:20Bye-bye.