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ALEXIS has been celibate for seven years. Discussing her reasons with Love Don't Judge, she explained: "I decided to become celibate due to spiritual development, tired of the dating apps and just decided to focus solely on my spiritual growth." Alexis proudly shares her celibacy journey online, but it doesn't always receive a positive reception. "I have received a lot of backlash, mainly from males. A lot of hate comments." Discussing whether Alexis envisions breaking her celibacy in the future, she explained: "I actually plan on being celibate until I find the right person. However, if I don't find the right person, the rest of my life." Today, Alexis will be meeting with her dad, Alexis Senior, to discuss what he really thinks of his daughter's unconventional life choice. He asked Alexis: "By being celibate, are you afraid that it'll keep guys away from you?"
Transcript
00:00I am Alexis and I've chosen to be celibate for seven years now.
00:03I have received a lot of backlash, mainly from males.
00:08I cannot see one single reason why this would be of interest to anybody.
00:12Another attention seeker.
00:14She has no idea what she's missing out on.
00:16She better not let me catch her in public.
00:19I'm Alexis' father.
00:20In the back of my mind, I just knew you were gonna be like me.
00:24Seeking out partners.
00:25Just felt like you'd be missing out on a big part of life.
00:29By being celibate, are you afraid that it'll keep guys away from you?
00:34I am Alexis.
00:35I was fed up with dating, so I decided to become celibate.
00:39I have currently been celibate for about seven years now.
00:42I decided to become celibate due to spiritual development.
00:46Tired of the dating apps and just decided to focus solely on my spiritual growth.
00:52I started making TikTok content about three months ago about my celibacy journey.
00:57Since I publicly came out based on my decision to become celibate,
01:01I have received a lot of backlash, mainly from males.
01:06A lot of hate comments.
01:08The worst thing I have received is a sexual assault threat online.
01:12And this is from males twice my seniors.
01:16It's disgusting.
01:18Some of the comments I have received since sharing my celibacy story are,
01:22who asked?
01:23Also, who would want to be with a person who's willing to do that?
01:27The sheer stubbornness and determination it would take to be
01:30in a relationship with a person would be a nightmare.
01:33I cannot see one single reason why this would be of interest to anybody.
01:38Another attention seeker.
01:39She has no idea what she's missing out on.
01:42She better not let me catch her in public.
01:44Sometimes it does take me back a bit.
01:46But other times I find myself calling my friends or family just to bring me back to reality.
01:52To remind me that those people don't know me.
01:55In the beginning, since becoming celibate, it was a bit challenging due to my decision,
02:00which was pretty much different than my peers around me at the time.
02:04However, because I have a solid support system,
02:07they tend to help make the process a bit easier.
02:10At this current time, I do not miss intimacy.
02:13However, that is due to my diagnosis with endometriosis.
02:18A lot of the symptoms that comes from endometriosis impacts my day-to-day life.
02:24It has impacted my day-to-day life in the past where
02:28hurts, intimacy hurts physically.
02:31With celibacy, it is easier for me to solely focus on myself
02:35rather than become intimate with someone
02:38and introduce them to something that they're not necessarily comfortable with.
02:43I actually plan on being celibate until I find the right person.
02:47However, if I don't find the right person, the rest of my life.
02:52Today, my dad is coming over to discuss my decision on becoming celibate.
02:56However, I am very nervous about this.
02:58When I revealed to my dad that I decided to become celibate,
03:02he was floored.
03:03He was stunned.
03:05The young lady I was in my 20s is the complete opposite of who I am now in my 30s.
03:11I'm Alexa's father.
03:12What did you think when she first told you that she was becoming celibate?
03:16At first, it threw me off because I knew how I lived my life.
03:20My biggest reservation was the outside world.
03:23I know how people are.
03:24They always have something negative to say.
03:26So, how did you feel about me sharing that I was celibate with you?
03:31Well, at first, it threw me for a loop because I don't know why in the back of my mind,
03:37I just knew you were going to be like me, seeking out partners.
03:42Yeah.
03:43What were your initial concerns and reservations?
03:46My initial concerns were it just felt like you'd be missing out on a big part of life.
03:52Yeah.
03:53And I had to realize you're not me and you have your own mind.
03:57Yeah.
03:58The concerns is I just know how people are by judging.
04:04They'll judge you on every little thing.
04:06Since becoming celibate, the guys you dated, how have they acted?
04:11Once it hit social media, I had a few reach out to me,
04:15just really inspired by it.
04:17However, trying to pursue a future with me, nonexistent.
04:22Since becoming celibate, I still do date.
04:25However, I'm not in a committed relationship.
04:27I share on the first date with guys that I am celibate.
04:31How?
04:32It's just a in-person conversation.
04:34So, it's never been through text or through social media.
04:38Normally, when I share that I am celibate on the first date,
04:41guys are floored.
04:42They cannot believe it.
04:44After revealing that I am celibate,
04:46guys do share that they no longer want to pursue anything.
04:50When I have shared with my peers my decision on being celibate,
04:54a lot of them at first were stunned.
04:58The pushback is often my future relationships.
05:04Do you want to get married?
05:05Do you want to have kids?
05:08How that would impact my dating life.
05:09But again, like I share with anyone,
05:12I'm just more of a day-to-day person.
05:14So, if it comes, it comes.
05:16If it doesn't, I'll still be okay.
05:18By being celibate, are you afraid that it keep guys away from you?
05:23Not really.
05:23I feel like it really is a superpower.
05:25It kind of weeds them out from those that actually see potential
05:29versus those that are just looking for a quick hookup.
05:32Is it pretty hard to stay celibate during these trying times?
05:36In the beginning, it was a bit challenging.
05:38But over time and self-discipline, not anymore.
05:42Do you feel like you're missing out on anything by being celibate?
05:46Not at all.
05:47My 20s, I experienced a lot.
05:49So, no, I feel like I'm right on time, if anything.
05:53Okay.
05:54Glad you passed the 20s there.
05:56Do you think that you could ever be celibate?
05:58No, no, no.
06:00I'm in my 50s.
06:04Started young.
06:05I enjoy all my little moments in life.
06:08I enjoy the company of a woman too much.
06:10Oh, how would you feel if my brother decided to be celibate?
06:16Just like you.
06:17Whatever y'all want.
06:18You, your brother's sister, I'm behind you 100%.
06:21Like you said, it's a personal thing.
06:23Right.
06:24If that's what he wants, I'm behind him.
06:27Do you have a date or future plans on bringing your celibacy?
06:33When I bring you a son-in-law, hopefully.
06:36But other than that, if I don't meet the one, then no.
06:39I just plan on carrying this out for a lifetime.
06:42You got it.
06:42You got it.
06:44What do you think about my celibacy now?
06:46Since you've given me the reasons, I'm all for it.
06:50This is a personal journey.
06:52And I'm happy that you're learning to love yourself and getting to know yourself.
06:56So I understand now the reason.
06:58You set your mind to do something, you follow through.
07:01So I'm happy.
07:03I'm glad you're out the 20s.
07:04Yeah.
07:05He was running a little wild, but I'm so happy he slowed down.
07:11So I'm getting ready to go out, hang out with the girls at the local bar,
07:14and hopefully I get to meet some fellas.
07:16I never feel nervous to tell guys that I'm celibate,
07:19just because I just rather for them to know ahead of time than later down the line.
07:25Being celibate definitely works for me and my lifestyle.
07:29Just with me becoming celibate, I think has enhanced my day-to-day life.
07:35To people that judge my decision on becoming celibate that do not know me in reality,
07:40I really feel they need a life check.
07:42To say the least, they need a life check because my decision shouldn't impact
07:46your day-to-day movement in your life.
07:58you

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