IMANI and Larry have been together for 9 years, although they didn’t put a label on their relationship until 2-3 years ago. They met on a dating site when Imani was looking for something more casual and she didn’t expect to get into a relationship with someone much older than her, but that changed when she met Larry. Imani had dated older men before but a 43 year age gap is not something she was used to. The pair are aware of their age gap and how that may affect the future. Imani says “It’s only natural to worry about someone's health as they get older” and Larry admits they openly discuss “those things”. Imani admitted that “If it ever came to a time where we went our separate ways, I would date a woman, I am bisexual, no-one could compete with Larry''. The pair live a lavish lifestyle with Larry treating Imani to shopping sprees in Paris, she says “It has to be the most spoiled I’ve ever gotten”. She admits that Larry spoils her on a regular basis and rarely says no. Though their friends and family haven’t judged their age gap, the same can’t be said for people online. Imani admits people assume she is a housewife and Larry says “people assume our relationship is different and people are uncomfortable with different”. Comments they have gotten online are “you in it for the money by honest” and “But will you make Daddy and sandwich?”. The pair don’t let the negative comments affect them and say their relationship works because of great communication. They say “they never put each other down and are never disrespectful to each other even when we’re upset”. The pair are now planning their wedding and next holidays around the world.
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00:00All right, Larry, let's pick out your outfit for the day.
00:04I like this t-shirt.
00:05My name is Imani.
00:07My name is Larry, and I'm 77 years old.
00:11And I'm 34 years old.
00:12There's 43 years between us.
00:15We met on a dating website.
00:17His white hair intrigued me, and so I reached out.
00:22I find older men more attractive in general.
00:25I felt he was a pretty attractive older gentleman.
00:28And then when I saw him in person, he did not disappoint.
00:32We have been together for over nine years.
00:34There was a point when I suddenly
00:37started looking at it and think, I can't
00:39imagine not having her in my life.
00:41The thing I love the most is how much he talks.
00:44He loves conversation.
00:47So there's never a dull moment.
00:48There's never a moment where I'm bored.
00:50Sometimes I think that I have these vast experiences,
00:53but she understands everything.
00:55I'm always amazed at her grasp of everything we talk about
00:59and are things she teaches me.
01:02I picked out this lovely shirt that I got him last Christmas.
01:08The pants kind of match with the color of the flowers
01:11in the shirt.
01:12Got a little artsy kind of deal going on.
01:16You ready for a little dancing?
01:18Yes, I am.
01:20Last week, we were traveling, and we were in Paris.
01:23And I proposed.
01:25And I said yes.
01:26And she said yes.
01:28I always knew I would end up with someone older than me,
01:32but to the extent of 43 years, no.
01:36It's definitely something for me to think about and take
01:38into consideration, because there's
01:41a lot that comes along with it.
01:43For instance, like his health, when his health declines,
01:46when he gets older, what that's going to look like,
01:48how that's going to affect our day-to-day.
01:52But I think it's only natural to be
01:54concerned about what's going to happen to someone's health
01:57as they get older.
01:58When you're much younger, you don't think
02:00about that far down the line.
02:02But because I'm closer, I think about it.
02:04So we openly discuss these things.
02:06If it came to a time where we were going our separate ways,
02:11I would see myself dating a woman.
02:14I am bisexual.
02:16No one could compete with Larry.
02:17This is the gold standard.
02:19And so I'd really be kind of disinterested in dating a man.
02:26I would be more interested in pursuing a woman.
02:31He was already dancing.
02:32I do competition ballroom dancing.
02:34Yeah, and then I was like, whoa, I want to dance with you too.
02:39So I was like, let's take a class together.
02:42The most magnificent thing he treats me to
02:45is shopping sprees in Paris.
02:48I think that has to be the most spoiled I've ever
02:52gotten in my entire life.
02:54He very rarely tells me no.
02:57I would say he kind of spoils me on a regular basis.
03:00She has no expectations.
03:02She's very, very grateful for everything that it's done.
03:07All right, let's take a quick photo for Instagram.
03:09I'm in.
03:12Got it?
03:12Yeah.
03:13I think the biggest misconception
03:15about our relationship is that I am in it for the money.
03:19Generally, my age that I meet, they usually
03:22assume I am housewife type of deal,
03:26where just I'm spending all day cooking and cleaning for him.
03:29She felt it a lot more than I did.
03:31I'm very aware that I get more of a pass than she does.
03:34It's a combination of our community
03:36and then just societal norms.
03:38They just assume that our relationship is different.
03:41People are uncomfortable with different.
03:43So one person commented, you in it for the money,
03:47be honest, which is not true.
03:51I'm with him because I love him.
03:53And if I was with him only for his money,
03:57I probably wouldn't be with him for this long.
03:59Someone else commented, but will you make daddy a sandwich?
04:03Not just a gold digger, but a sandwich burger.
04:07That's what I want to know.
04:08Not only do I not refer to him as daddy,
04:11but I'm not making anyone a sandwich.
04:13Our Uber eats a sandwich.
04:15We pretty much just brush it off.
04:17When they stare, I give them a yeah, thumbs up,
04:20eat your heart out.
04:22No, I don't do anything.
04:23I hardly, I'm barely aware of it.
04:26I think the fact that we get judged
04:29has made us strong as a couple because it's strengthened
04:33our communication, in a certain way
04:36strengthened our bond with one another.
04:39She has been discriminated against all of her life,
04:42and I've never encountered that.
04:43So when we're talking about these things,
04:46it gives me a greater awareness of the difficulties
04:49she has to deal with in her life.
04:51Gives me more empathy to her situation.
04:54So yeah, that has helped strengthen our bond.
04:57So most people assume we're probably not gonna be together
05:00for that long because I'm probably gonna want kids
05:03in the long run or something like that
05:04is gonna be a drastic change.
05:06And that's not gonna happen for us
05:08because I don't want children.
05:10Like when I'm by myself and I get stairs, I get it.
05:14Cause I'm like, oh, I'm six feet tall.
05:16Like people are probably looking at me like, whoa,
05:19not too many six feet tall black women in this area.
05:23But specifically when I'm with him,
05:25I view it as I'm getting judged because of the age gap,
05:30because of the racial difference and those things.
05:34And a lot of people understandably
05:36probably thought this was a fluke.
05:39Like how long will this last?
05:40But then when you get nine years out,
05:42they see the depth of our love for each other.
05:46I think that most of my friends are very clear on that.
05:48All of my friends have accepted it right away.
05:53Today, we're going to have a phone call
05:56with my longtime friend and her close friend now, Carolina.
06:00She's always been supportive,
06:01but I'll be curious to see what she has to say
06:03about her initial reaction to our relationship.
06:07What did you think when you first met me?
06:10At the beginning, you were a little bit more shy or reserved.
06:14I think that you also have guarded maybe
06:17because of whatever has happened in the past.
06:19But little by little, you open up so much to me
06:22that you're such a beautiful woman inside and out.
06:26Were you shocked that I was dating someone so much younger?
06:30It's different when you hear about the age gap
06:33and then it's very different when you live it.
06:36When you hear it, it might bring a little bit
06:38of that curiosity on why are they together.
06:43When I go out to dinner with you and when we have travel,
06:46I realize that you guys don't have an age gap
06:49because you guys communicate so well and get along so well.
06:52So now that we're engaged...
06:56I know, I'm so excited.
06:58It's a new chapter.
06:59I mean, you guys have been together for so long,
07:01but it's also such a good way
07:03to grow in your relationship now as a married couple.
07:08She has changed my life in the sense,
07:10as I've learned about her background
07:12and the things she has had to endure in her life.
07:15Living in this community, the nature of the work I do,
07:18it's a great world,
07:18but it's not representative of our entire country.
07:24I think what she's really brought to my life
07:26is an intellectual understanding
07:27of what the other side is like.
07:30Larry has changed my life for the better
07:32in a lot of ways.
07:35I'm truly happy.
07:36Yeah.
07:37I could write a book on how much he's changed my life.
07:41He's done so much for me,
07:44emotionally, spiritually, financially, mentally.
07:49He's elevated my life.
07:51I've grown into becoming the person
07:54that I've always wanted to be thanks to him.
07:57I think one of the biggest reasons that it worked
08:00is because we have great communication.
08:03We do.
08:03We communicate about everything,
08:06and we know how to communicate diplomatically.
08:09We're never disrespectful to each other,
08:12even when we're upset.
08:14We don't belittle each other.
08:16We don't ever put each other down.
08:18The future does look bright,
08:19because we are getting married,
08:20so that is the one exciting thing about the future.
08:24Now that he's going down this path of semi-retirement,
08:30we have more time to travel.
08:33For the people that judge us,
08:35I would say, you know, get a life.
08:37It really doesn't impact us at all.
08:40I love you.
08:42I love you too.