The Three Badasses Who Want Me
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:12What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:17Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:32it to your penniless self?
00:00:33And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:37All right, everybody get out!
00:00:40We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:46You deaf?
00:00:47I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have
00:00:58to pay for today's losses.
00:00:59You want to say that again?
00:01:04You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:23You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:30Coming to see you?
00:01:31All right, you know what?
00:01:32I'll play your game.
00:01:34If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:41Deal.
00:01:50Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:53Or else, you're fired.
00:02:13Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:23Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:25Good.
00:02:26Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:28Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:40Ellen.
00:02:41Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk.
00:02:43Ellen.
00:02:44Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:49How's my boss bitch?
00:02:52Kick an ass, girlfriend.
00:02:54So how do you, like...
00:02:57She's my boss?
00:02:59Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:08Well?
00:03:11No.
00:03:12No.
00:03:13No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:15No, I won't do it again.
00:03:19All right, that's enough.
00:03:21We're not tyrants here.
00:03:28Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:37You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:39I honor my pride.
00:03:42You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:46Who are you?
00:03:49Where is she?
00:03:51Atlanta.
00:03:52And you were right.
00:03:53It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:55My clever bride.
00:03:57I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:04Max, prep the jet.
00:04:06I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:12Dr. Wilson.
00:04:13He's having Sterling's on the move.
00:04:14He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:15Atlanta?
00:04:16The game is afoot.
00:04:18I'm going.
00:04:19Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:04:20The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:22He can wait.
00:04:23I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:28Dr. Wilson.
00:04:35General Eisenhower reporting, sir.
00:04:38Douglas Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:41Atlanta.
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever.
00:04:46Prepare my warplanes.
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancée.
00:04:49This is war.
00:05:07I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:12Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:14This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:17That project is worth billions.
00:05:19He can finally take his company public.
00:05:21But, Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:32Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago...
00:05:47You saved me.
00:06:04He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:08I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:15But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:23So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:26I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:31But why work at the flea market?
00:06:33Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:37Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:42Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:46You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:51Where the hell are you?
00:06:53Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:56Get home, stat.
00:06:58It's a big day today.
00:07:01That was...
00:07:03My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:09But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:15You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:27Hi, I'm home.
00:07:29I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:31Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:37Divorce papers?
00:07:39Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:43God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:46We're ending that relationship.
00:07:48Just look at you. Dirt all over.
00:07:51You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:54You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:58I'm below his league?
00:08:00That's right. You are.
00:08:02Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk.
00:08:09And then his company's going public.
00:08:11That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:14But you? You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:20Jared's like the king in the clouds. And you...
00:08:23You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:27Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:32Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:35But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:38You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:42How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:48Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:52And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:58You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:04Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:07Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:09Enough!
00:09:11Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:15But I am.
00:09:17Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:20Here's $500,000. You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:25Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave. Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:37Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:40Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:43Fine. Here's another $200,000.
00:09:46$500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:49She's done nothing. Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:55She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:58Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:02I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:06You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:10And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:15A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO? What a joke.
00:10:20If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:25And leave!
00:10:29You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:10:33Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:36I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:40Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:47It's all my work!
00:10:50Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:58You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:03So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:07She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:11Fine. I'll sign it.
00:11:15But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:34Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:11:38It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:43You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:47Social stratum matters.
00:11:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:53And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:56And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:17You hit me.
00:12:22Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:40I don't need your pity money.
00:12:42I don't need your pity money.
00:12:46We're finished.
00:12:48You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:51Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:54But I would like my ring back.
00:12:58Mom?
00:13:07Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:18And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:21Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:26It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:30Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:33Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:36You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:41Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:47Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:54Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:57Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:02Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:17Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:23Vanderbilt?
00:14:24Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically, our employee.
00:14:28Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:31You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:35That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:37Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:14:42I've been looking for you.
00:14:44I'm sorry, I'm late.
00:14:46I'm sorry.
00:14:48I'm sorry.
00:14:50I'm sorry.
00:14:52I'm sorry.
00:14:54I'm sorry.
00:14:56I'm so sorry.
00:14:58I'm sorry.
00:15:00I'm sorry.
00:15:02I'm sorry.
00:15:04I'm sorry.
00:15:05I finally found you.
00:15:07Who is he?
00:15:09That's Devin Sterling. He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:18Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:21And he's your fiancé.
00:15:24What? My fiancé?
00:15:27The one and only.
00:15:29So, after running away and leaving me single for three years, have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:15:38Babe?
00:15:46That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:52What is she doing here?
00:15:54You skank! My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:00Divorced?
00:16:02That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:08Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:12So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:15Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a serial killer.
00:16:21Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:29How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:32Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:35Do you know who I am?
00:16:38They don't know who you are.
00:16:41You hide it well.
00:16:43X-Team!
00:16:45Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:48Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:51Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:58You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:05Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:17:12Toss these ill-mannered apes out!
00:17:15Oh, you bitch! I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:17:21Can you just...
00:17:25A kiss as a reward, my lady?
00:17:29No.
00:17:37Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:40You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:45Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:48Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:17:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project. It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:59Congrats. You'll be next.
00:18:01Thank you. But we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:05Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:08Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:17Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:22Yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:26Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:29Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:38I'll do my best.
00:18:44Excuse me.
00:18:45A second, gentlemen.
00:18:47What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:51How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:54Me? A hobo? How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:59You sleep your way in?
00:19:01I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me. Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:07Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:11This is your ex-husband?
00:19:13What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:16Who the hell is this?
00:19:18You were cheating on me?
00:19:31Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:35That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:40They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:54You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:59Get your hands off of her.
00:20:05My lady.
00:20:10My lady.
00:20:22My queen.
00:20:33It's...
00:20:35It's him!
00:20:36He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:40Who are these peasants?
00:20:42These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:20:47Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:49You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:53Fuckers, you know who that is? That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:57You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:00His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:03This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:07Vanderbilt.
00:21:09The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:13who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:18That the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:21:27Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:30Whatever.
00:21:32Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:47How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:50I'm Harvey Evan Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:55I can wipe you out.
00:21:57I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:01And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:05Not with me around.
00:22:07I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:12You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:17You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:20We've had enough of your games.
00:22:22Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:26Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:29Don't worry, you got new money.
00:22:34I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:37Yes, my queen.
00:22:39You're all despicable.
00:22:42An insult to your family names.
00:22:47Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:50Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:53Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:59I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:04I knew it.
00:23:06You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:08You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:10How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:14You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:18You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
00:23:22She's a gold digger.
00:23:24Gold digger?
00:23:26Gigolo.
00:23:28Want to try me for a night?
00:23:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:35They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:40She's only here to try and ruin my bid on the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:43I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:45Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:53You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:57And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:59You!
00:24:01Insolent fools.
00:24:03Let me guess.
00:24:05You're that special guest?
00:24:07I don't know.
00:24:09Throw them out!
00:24:11And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:19You can back down now.
00:24:23I got this.
00:24:51What the hell are you doing?
00:24:53What are you two doing here?
00:24:55I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:57No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:25:00Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:11Angela!
00:25:13Don't hurt her!
00:25:15You bitch.
00:25:16I've always been sick of you.
00:25:17You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:19How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:21Boss?
00:25:22Miss Musk?
00:25:24That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:26That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:28My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:32Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:35Past the American Revolution?
00:25:37Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:39If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:42That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:44She's royalty.
00:25:46And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:49What the hell did you do?
00:25:51Neil!
00:25:53Oh, your majesty.
00:25:55Welcome to the United States.
00:25:58We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:01Yes, your highness.
00:26:03Is it queen or prince?
00:26:05It doesn't matter.
00:26:07My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:10We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:13What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:15Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:21What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:38She's a badass herself.
00:26:40You missed out on a good wife.
00:26:42I'm sorry.
00:26:44I'm sorry.
00:26:46I'm sorry.
00:26:48I'm sorry.
00:26:49I missed out on a good wife.
00:26:51You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:55Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:58No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:27:00I worked hard for everything.
00:27:02You worked for everything?
00:27:08Hi, honey.
00:27:10So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
00:27:13And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:16I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:17I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project.
00:27:20And if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:30You were nothing before me.
00:27:33All your achievements.
00:27:35All your glory.
00:27:37That's all mine.
00:27:39Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:41I can take all of that away.
00:27:44Just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:49So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:52Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:56Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:58It was Queen Victoria's.
00:28:00And it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:08No.
00:28:10I gave you back the ring.
00:28:12I divorced a royal heiress.
00:28:14No!
00:28:16No, Angela, please!
00:28:18No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:20I still love you!
00:28:24Oh, man.
00:28:26Looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:28No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:36God, these two again.
00:28:38Did he say...
00:28:40Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:42President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:43After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:45each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals.
00:28:48The highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:54I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:56Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:02And that there is...
00:29:04That is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:07He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:09Dr. House?
00:29:11I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:13Based on a real figure.
00:29:15Yep, that's me.
00:29:17Son of James House.
00:29:19Dr. House?
00:29:21He's practically my uncle.
00:29:23I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:29:25when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:27So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:29:29somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:29:31And I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:29:33and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:38Hey, Ellen.
00:29:40Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:42They're all your fiancés.
00:29:44What?
00:29:46Fiancés?
00:29:48Plural?
00:29:50Fiancés?
00:29:52Plural?
00:29:54Watch it, nerds.
00:29:56I'm her fiancé.
00:29:58No, I'm her fiancé.
00:30:00You can both shut up.
00:30:02I'm her fiancé.
00:30:04It's you.
00:30:05It's me.
00:30:07Who the hell is he?
00:30:09I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:10Fiancé.
00:30:12Your father had arranged these engagements years ago
00:30:14but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry
00:30:16Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:18She has three badass fiancés
00:30:20and she marries his dumb ass?
00:30:24Whatever.
00:30:26Since you're all here,
00:30:28help me finish him.
00:30:31Since you're all here,
00:30:33help me finish him.
00:30:36At your service.
00:30:38Me too.
00:30:40No, no, no.
00:30:43One down, two more to go.
00:30:45She's become queen.
00:30:47Bishop to G4.
00:30:52Ow, ow, ow.
00:30:54What is that?
00:30:56The most German festin' water in the Nile River.
00:31:02Rook to A8.
00:31:08Hello?
00:31:10I thought I was king.
00:31:12No, you wish.
00:31:14The king doesn't do anything.
00:31:16So, Alan can be my king.
00:31:18Oh, fine.
00:31:22Bankrupt to four.
00:31:24It's right this second.
00:31:29I...
00:31:31I've been bankrupt.
00:31:33No!
00:31:35Who is...
00:31:40I've been bankrupt.
00:31:42No!
00:31:44I told you I would remove all of you
00:31:46from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:48Well, guess what?
00:31:50Game over.
00:31:52All right, boys.
00:31:54Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:56Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:58I'm right with you.
00:32:00Wait for me.
00:32:02Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:10Angela!
00:32:14You already have three fiancés?
00:32:16You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:18I want compensation.
00:32:23You greedy SOB.
00:32:25Who the fuck is that?
00:32:27My ex-husband.
00:32:29Wait, you were married?
00:32:31Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:32:33then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:35More for me?
00:32:37No, no, of course not.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:41Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:43Don't steal my joke.
00:32:45I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:47All the evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:49What?
00:32:51Is there something on my face?
00:32:53Yeah, murderous intent.
00:32:55Let's remarry.
00:32:57Let's remarry.
00:32:59You still don't realize.
00:33:02I only fell in love with you
00:33:04because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:09I'm sorry.
00:33:32Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:34We need to wreck right away.
00:33:36Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem
00:33:37at the company warehouse.
00:33:39Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:43She should be okay now.
00:33:48Hey, you!
00:33:50Watch over here.
00:33:51I'll be right back.
00:34:00You saved me.
00:34:04Fuck.
00:34:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:08Fuck.
00:34:10I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:12You've cheated on me,
00:34:14you've hit me,
00:34:16and you've insulted me.
00:34:18And after all that,
00:34:20I never want to see you again.
00:34:22I fucking hate you.
00:34:24Lady Lockhart.
00:34:26God, what now?
00:34:28Oh, yes.
00:34:30We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:32but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:34the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:36How about us three?
00:34:38Yes, unlike that scumbag,
00:34:40we won't turn on you.
00:34:42Yeah, no.
00:34:44You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:46This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:48We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:50No.
00:34:52No.
00:34:54We can't lose our positions
00:34:56with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:58I'll get you for this.
00:35:04I never should have listened to you.
00:35:06I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:22So,
00:35:24what's the situation here?
00:35:26I want to marry you.
00:35:27I want to marry you.
00:35:36Listen,
00:35:38I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:35:40and
00:35:42I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:44But what if I told you
00:35:46that we've known each other
00:35:48for much longer
00:35:50than just a few hours?
00:35:52Much longer.
00:35:57Angela,
00:35:59your parents would like to have a video call
00:36:01with all of you.
00:36:05My lovely princess,
00:36:07how are you?
00:36:09Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:11The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:13Perfect for a wedding,
00:36:15wouldn't you say?
00:36:17I heard you finally divorced
00:36:19that good-for-nothing,
00:36:21blood-sucking,
00:36:22freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:24Can't call his name,
00:36:26but anyway,
00:36:28congratulations.
00:36:30I've selected three prime young men
00:36:32for you to choose from
00:36:34to replace him.
00:36:36You must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:38Otherwise...
00:36:39Let me do it.
00:36:41You must choose one of them
00:36:43in seven days.
00:36:45Otherwise,
00:36:47we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:49Mom!
00:36:51All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:53Bye.
00:36:54So,
00:36:56who are you going to choose?
00:36:59Well,
00:37:01what if I'd want
00:37:02all three of you?
00:37:04Well,
00:37:06what if I'd want
00:37:07all three of you?
00:37:10That seems greedy.
00:37:17But,
00:37:19I can always remove
00:37:20the other two options.
00:37:22Hey,
00:37:24I may be a doctor,
00:37:25but I can take lives, too.
00:37:27I know and have access
00:37:29to all the deadliest poisons
00:37:30in the world.
00:37:32Whoa, okay.
00:37:33No murder, please.
00:37:34I was just kidding.
00:37:37You have seven days
00:37:38to win her over.
00:37:40Ooh,
00:37:41it's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:43I know.
00:37:44We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:48Welcome to the show,
00:37:49The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:37:52Today,
00:37:53we're going to start
00:37:54with challenge.
00:37:56What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:59You'll see.
00:38:08Oh, my God!
00:38:09Oh, my God!
00:38:10Cockroaches!
00:38:11All women are afraid
00:38:12of cockroaches.
00:38:14And it is every man's job
00:38:15to save their beloved woman
00:38:16from this monstrosity
00:38:17of a creature.
00:38:19What will our three candidates
00:38:20do to prove
00:38:21their undying love
00:38:23for our single
00:38:24but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:34Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:35has already called it quits.
00:38:37It's up to the final two.
00:38:53Crunchy.
00:38:55That is sick cold.
00:38:57Hey,
00:38:58when you're stranded
00:38:59in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:00you'll be glad to see
00:39:01one of these around.
00:39:04There are two more left.
00:39:05Want to try one?
00:39:06Oh, my God!
00:39:07No!
00:39:08No!
00:39:10Oh, my God!
00:39:11Save me!
00:39:12Save you?
00:39:13You're going to save me!
00:39:15Oh, my God!
00:39:16Oh, my God!
00:39:17Oh, my God!
00:39:18Oh, my God!
00:39:19Oh, my God!
00:39:20Oh, my God!
00:39:21Oh, my God!
00:39:22Oh, my God!
00:39:24I'm a germophobic doctor.
00:39:25These hands
00:39:26can't get germs on them.
00:39:27They're for surgery
00:39:28and saving lives.
00:39:44Thank God you're here.
00:39:48Are you alright, honey?
00:39:50Angela!
00:39:52No.
00:39:54Alright, you won the first challenge,
00:39:55so your reward,
00:39:57you get to watch over her
00:39:58for the night.
00:40:00Just don't cross the line
00:40:01if you know what I mean.
00:40:02I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:04You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:11Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:12it's not like it's against
00:40:13the rules or anything.
00:40:14At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:16I bet her husband
00:40:17has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18They're gone, Gorgeous.
00:40:19They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:21There's nothing in this room
00:40:22except you and me, okay?
00:40:24I'm going to kill Ellen
00:40:26when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:31I need a drink.
00:40:41Whoa, easy!
00:40:42You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:44Oh, why do you care?
00:40:46I'm trying to drink away
00:40:47your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:51You guys were right.
00:40:53I was blind for marrying
00:40:54that asshole.
00:40:56You know,
00:40:58I wasted three whole years
00:41:00of my life with him.
00:41:02He never even loved me.
00:41:04And I gave up my entire
00:41:05career for him.
00:41:10Do you really think
00:41:11that you would still be
00:41:12number one or number two
00:41:13in the world?
00:41:14Do you really think
00:41:15that you would still be
00:41:16number one on the Forbes
00:41:1730 under 30 list
00:41:18if I was around?
00:41:22You may not be number one
00:41:23on Forbes list,
00:41:24but you know what
00:41:25you're number one in?
00:41:27What?
00:41:31You're number one here.
00:41:38You know,
00:41:39we've known each other
00:41:40kind of a long time.
00:41:42Lies.
00:41:44You all just want
00:41:45something from me.
00:41:51Angela,
00:41:53I know it's hard
00:41:54to trust again.
00:41:56But I assure you,
00:41:58I don't care
00:42:00what family you're from.
00:42:03I'm the richest man
00:42:04in the nation.
00:42:05I don't need your power,
00:42:06your status,
00:42:07your wealth,
00:42:09your connections.
00:42:12I just need you.
00:42:14I'll prove my love to you
00:42:15within six days.
00:42:16I promise.
00:42:28Screw the contest.
00:42:30I just want love.
00:42:33Angela,
00:42:35you're drunk.
00:42:37I'm an adult.
00:42:38Can't a girl just
00:42:39get what she wants?
00:42:41It's okay.
00:42:43It's okay.
00:42:48But love and sex
00:42:49aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:52Oh, they're not
00:42:53mutually exclusive either.
00:43:04This is what you want.
00:43:13This is what you want.
00:43:32Nine-inch penis.
00:43:34Morning to you, too.
00:43:36You sure you were drunk
00:43:37last night?
00:43:38You wasn't, uh...
00:43:39A girl remembers
00:43:40when she's had a
00:43:41nine-inch
00:43:42penis inside of her.
00:43:44Well,
00:43:45glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:47But don't tell Shane
00:43:48or Cole.
00:43:50Because then they would...
00:43:51Say that you were
00:43:52being unfair?
00:43:54Technically,
00:43:55us having sex
00:43:56doesn't break any rules.
00:43:57I won the first challenge
00:43:58and according to Ellen,
00:44:00my prize was
00:44:01to spend a night
00:44:02with you anyways.
00:44:04Don't make this
00:44:05any harder
00:44:06than it already is.
00:44:10You sure you don't
00:44:12want to make this
00:44:13any harder?
00:44:15Stop.
00:44:18Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:22I won't tell.
00:44:24But only on one condition.
00:44:28I won't tell.
00:44:30But only on one condition.
00:44:33You have to go out
00:44:34on a date with me.
00:44:36Fine.
00:44:40If I had a crush
00:44:41on you since college, Angela,
00:44:43you never noticed me.
00:44:49You should get dressed
00:44:50and get out of here
00:44:51before anyone sees you.
00:44:55It's only 7am.
00:44:56She's still sleeping.
00:44:57I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:58Yeah, I'm not letting
00:44:59my fiancé be alone
00:45:00with another man
00:45:01for another second.
00:45:04Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:06Oh, or shall I say
00:45:07ruffmen?
00:45:08Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:11What's up, guys?
00:45:12We're ready
00:45:13for the second challenge.
00:45:15No cockroaches this time.
00:45:16Yes.
00:45:17No more terrifying things.
00:45:18That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:20This better be
00:45:21a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:22I'm sure you'll all
00:45:23enjoy this one.
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26The second challenge is...
00:45:28a date.
00:45:30Lame.
00:45:31I should have asked
00:45:32for something else.
00:45:33A date?
00:45:34That's it.
00:45:35What's the catch?
00:45:36No catch.
00:45:37Just who Ms. Lockhart
00:45:38enjoys spending her time
00:45:39with the most.
00:45:41I know what I want to do.
00:45:42Let's start with me first.
00:45:43Okay.
00:45:44Who goes up first?
00:45:45Then...
00:45:46Me.
00:45:47Save the best for last.
00:45:48Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:50Then it's decided.
00:45:54Please!
00:45:55Don't take my BMW away!
00:45:58Too bad.
00:45:59You pissed off
00:46:00the Lockharts.
00:46:02I have nothing left!
00:46:11It's that bitch
00:46:12who ruined me!
00:46:16It's that bitch
00:46:17who ruined me!
00:46:26General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:28At ease, Lieutenant!
00:46:30This is my lieutenant.
00:46:31He also manages
00:46:32this boxing gym.
00:46:33Pleasure to meet you,
00:46:34Madam Eisenhower!
00:46:35You're so serious.
00:46:36But...
00:46:37Hang on.
00:46:38Lieutenant!
00:46:39I don't know
00:46:40who I'm going to marry yet!
00:46:41Baby!
00:46:42I decided to take you
00:46:43here on our first date
00:46:44so that I can introduce you
00:46:45to my guns!
00:46:46Guns?
00:46:47Like...
00:46:48murder weapons?
00:46:49Yes.
00:46:50Murder weapons.
00:47:10You like my guns, babe?
00:47:12Pretty Lockhart.
00:47:13Yeah.
00:47:15Let me show you
00:47:16what I can do with them.
00:47:17Lieutenant!
00:47:18Come close!
00:47:20Wait!
00:47:21You're just gonna
00:47:22hit him like that?
00:47:23He's not even gonna fight back?
00:47:24Fighting back
00:47:25would be treason, ma'am!
00:47:26Treason?
00:47:27You guys are way too serious.
00:47:30Look, you Lockhart bitch!
00:47:31I caught you!
00:47:32If I'm going down,
00:47:33you're all going down
00:47:34with me!
00:47:35Lieutenant!
00:47:36Pistol attack!
00:47:40Fuck!
00:47:42You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:46I will make you pay!
00:47:50If you don't need to
00:47:51keep beating him up,
00:47:52we could just take him
00:47:53to the cops.
00:47:54Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:48:01So he's a bit bold,
00:48:02isn't he?
00:48:03Yeah.
00:48:04He's a bit bold.
00:48:05He's a bit bold.
00:48:06He's a bit bold.
00:48:07He's a bit bold.
00:48:08He's a bit bold.
00:48:09He's always a bit violent.
00:48:10Some might call it
00:48:11being protective.
00:48:12Poor anger issues.
00:48:14What if we get married
00:48:15and I forget to use a coaster
00:48:16on an antique table
00:48:17or something?
00:48:18Is he gonna be, like,
00:48:19rough?
00:48:21Hey, some girls
00:48:22are into that.
00:48:24I don't know if I am.
00:48:26Well, maybe Shane
00:48:27will be your type.
00:48:32Your date with Shane
00:48:33starts now.
00:48:37Hey.
00:48:39Cool ride.
00:48:41A gift from the Chancellor
00:48:42of Germany
00:48:43when I saved his wife.
00:48:44Impressive.
00:48:48Your breath
00:48:49smells like peppermint.
00:48:51Refreshing.
00:48:53I got cool mint, too.
00:48:55Or do you prefer
00:48:56Spearmint?
00:48:58What do you not have
00:48:59in this coat of yours?
00:49:01Fruit flavored gum.
00:49:02I can't stand those.
00:49:04So, where are you taking me?
00:49:06Let me show you.
00:49:07Okay.
00:49:14Dr. Wilson!
00:49:16Our VIP of VIPs!
00:49:18Right this way.
00:49:19VIP of VIPs?
00:49:21Ah, just some other guy
00:49:22I saved.
00:49:23I forget who.
00:49:24You saved a lot of people.
00:49:26I do what I can.
00:49:28Oh, my gosh.
00:49:30It's my gold digging neighbor
00:49:31who just got dumped
00:49:32by her husband.
00:49:34Sandra Miller.
00:49:36Sandra Miller.
00:49:38What are you doing here?
00:49:39I just thought this was
00:49:40for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:42Your mother-in-law told me
00:49:43all about the divorce
00:49:44and how you hired some gigolo
00:49:45to beat her
00:49:46and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:49How low of you.
00:49:51What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:53Of course your bird brain
00:49:54wouldn't remember.
00:49:56I sell high fashion jewelry
00:49:57pieces so high end
00:49:58you couldn't even afford
00:49:59even a few soldier organs.
00:50:01The auction begins.
00:50:03I'll deal with you later.
00:50:06Yeah, I'll just be a second.
00:50:13Cameron,
00:50:14I have a task for you.
00:50:18Our next piece
00:50:19is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:21Cleopatra's armband
00:50:23sold by our vendor
00:50:25Sandra Miller
00:50:27for five million dollars.
00:50:30Excuse me.
00:50:32I'd like to donate
00:50:33this piece to auction.
00:50:34It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:37I'd like to donate
00:50:38this piece to auction.
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:41What are you doing?
00:50:43Just watch.
00:50:50That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52Please.
00:50:53I'm an expert
00:50:54and that's a fake.
00:50:56She probably got it
00:50:57at the flea market
00:50:58she works at.
00:50:59You work at a flea market?
00:51:00Not this again.
00:51:02Cut the bullshit.
00:51:04It's for five dollars.
00:51:06Oh yeah?
00:51:07Here, you want it?
00:51:08For free.
00:51:09Ew!
00:51:10I don't want that trash
00:51:11from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:13Well,
00:51:14that's too bad then
00:51:15because you
00:51:16are the fraud.
00:51:18What are you talking about?
00:51:19And who the hell
00:51:20are you to accuse me?
00:51:22Throw them out!
00:51:24Dr. Wilson,
00:51:25I know you're a legend
00:51:26in medicine
00:51:27but we're professionals.
00:51:29Oh yeah?
00:51:30And that armband
00:51:31sells for five million dollars?
00:51:32Yeah.
00:51:33Mine is the real thing.
00:51:35You two are just upset
00:51:36because you're too
00:51:37poor
00:51:38to afford our luxury items.
00:51:40Oh, is that so?
00:51:42When a so-called expert
00:51:43failed to recognize
00:51:44Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:46Dear Lord,
00:51:48this is real.
00:51:50It's authentic.
00:51:52It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:57Karen,
00:51:58what have you found?
00:52:00Yeah, that picture
00:52:01of the Tetris armband
00:52:02you sent me?
00:52:03It's a replica.
00:52:05They had the same one
00:52:06right here
00:52:07at the flea market.
00:52:08So,
00:52:10you are the fraud.
00:52:12So you just went
00:52:13to the flea market
00:52:14so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:16And Cameron,
00:52:17how much are these
00:52:18fakes being sold for?
00:52:19150.
00:52:21Wow.
00:52:22Not even five dollars.
00:52:24Sandra.
00:52:26You've been duping us
00:52:27the whole time?
00:52:28Arrest her!
00:52:30No!
00:52:31Please,
00:52:32even just this one time!
00:52:33Please!
00:52:34What's going on,
00:52:35Dr. Wilson?
00:52:37Uh, investigating lead poisoning
00:52:38from cheap jewelry
00:52:39for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:40Bye.
00:52:41Block Callista
00:52:42from the jewelry industry
00:52:43forever.
00:52:53I had a really great
00:52:54time tonight.
00:52:55Me too.
00:52:57May I
00:52:58have a kiss?
00:53:00No.
00:53:13Something wrong?
00:53:15Do you always have
00:53:16gum in your mouth?
00:53:23Yep.
00:53:24You never have to worry
00:53:25about stinky breath
00:53:26from me.
00:53:30You owe us
00:53:31a bunch of money,
00:53:32Cooper.
00:53:34I don't have any money.
00:53:35How did you pay
00:53:36for this hotel, then?
00:53:38I guess you'll only
00:53:39pay up
00:53:42if I break
00:53:43your other leg.
00:53:44Stop!
00:53:49Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:53I'm sorry.
00:53:55I'm sorry.
00:53:57I'm sorry.
00:53:58Mr. Buffett.
00:54:03This is the contract
00:54:04for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:05That's right.
00:54:06Miss Musk wanted me
00:54:07to give it to you.
00:54:09I knew Angelo
00:54:10was still in love with me.
00:54:12I knew Angelo
00:54:13was still in love with me.
00:54:14No, no, sir.
00:54:15Sorry about those
00:54:16injuries from earlier.
00:54:17It was all just a
00:54:18little misunderstanding.
00:54:20Yeah, we could be
00:54:21partners again.
00:54:23And then maybe
00:54:24you can, um,
00:54:25tell a little story
00:54:26for me?
00:54:28Tell, uh, Lady Lockhart?
00:54:29Put in a good word for us?
00:54:31Angela still loves me.
00:54:32She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:34She'll be back to me
00:54:35soon enough.
00:54:36Yeah.
00:54:37Do you need any help
00:54:38winning her back?
00:54:39We can give you
00:54:40jewelry to give to her.
00:54:41I was just sucking up
00:54:42to these pricks
00:54:43a few days ago
00:54:44and now they're all
00:54:45begging me to help them out.
00:54:47It feels so damn good
00:54:48to be in power.
00:54:50Sure.
00:54:52I'll put in a good word
00:54:53for you.
00:54:54I just need...
00:54:55Anything.
00:54:56You tell us,
00:54:57Once I take everything
00:54:58from these idiots,
00:55:00I'll go after
00:55:01Angela Lockhart
00:55:03for my revenge.
00:55:09I'm giving the contract
00:55:10to Jared Cooper
00:55:11just like you asked me to.
00:55:13Well done,
00:55:14he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:17Well done,
00:55:18he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:19I don't get it, Miss Musk.
00:55:21That contract has
00:55:22a preliminary clause.
00:55:23It requires him to pay
00:55:2450% of the costs up front
00:55:25as a deposit.
00:55:27And if he can't,
00:55:28then what?
00:55:29He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:30So as long as
00:55:31he's greedy,
00:55:32I have to take it.
00:55:34I'm avenging
00:55:35my best friend.
00:55:36I want to show the world
00:55:37that without Angela Lockhart,
00:55:38he's nothing.
00:55:46I signed
00:55:47the Maple Plaza Project.
00:55:49We should celebrate.
00:55:50You did?
00:55:52You see,
00:55:53I know my son has it in him.
00:55:54That skank,
00:55:55Angela,
00:55:57is sitting next to you.
00:55:58And it's all thanks
00:55:59to you, sweetheart.
00:56:01Actually,
00:56:02it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:06What?
00:56:08You're trying to ditch me
00:56:09to go back to your wife?
00:56:10Oh, no, no, no, no,
00:56:11he's not.
00:56:12Jared,
00:56:13what are you doing?
00:56:14You have such a beautiful
00:56:15and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:18It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:20I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:22I'm telling my dad.
00:56:24Fine, go right ahead,
00:56:25he has enough problems himself.
00:56:26If you're obedient,
00:56:27I'll keep you around
00:56:28as his side piece,
00:56:29but if not,
00:56:30you can scram.
00:56:32Dad,
00:56:33Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:35Teach him a lesson.
00:56:36Kaylee,
00:56:37be a good girl, okay?
00:56:39Jared has the backing
00:56:40of some very powerful people now.
00:56:42Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:44We can't afford
00:56:45to piss him off.
00:56:46So do as he says.
00:56:48But Dad!
00:56:56I'm sorry.
00:56:58Be your side piece.
00:57:00Very good.
00:57:01I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:02Now, let's go celebrate.
00:57:07I mean,
00:57:08do I really want to be
00:57:09with Mr. Minty Mouth
00:57:10forever, though?
00:57:12But that tongue action, though.
00:57:14Tongue is important
00:57:15in more than just one spot.
00:57:16Erin,
00:57:17we aren't in public.
00:57:18It's true.
00:57:20Stomach ache.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:22I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:23Devin should be here
00:57:24to pick you up soon.
00:57:26Okay.
00:57:28Devin's late.
00:57:30Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:33This hotel restaurant
00:57:34has five Michelin stars.
00:57:38It's her.
00:57:39And she's alone.
00:57:40With no one to save her.
00:57:44You whore.
00:57:45You seduced my son
00:57:46so he'd get back with you.
00:57:52Let me tell you.
00:57:53I would never go back
00:57:54even if your entire family
00:57:56got down on their knees
00:57:57and begged me.
00:58:01Hey, you guys can fight
00:58:02all you want,
00:58:03but you need to take this
00:58:04somewhere else.
00:58:05Whoever gets rid of her
00:58:06for me gets all this.
00:58:08What?
00:58:09Why do I have to leave?
00:58:10She's the one starting shit.
00:58:11Because I have money
00:58:12and you don't.
00:58:14You're just a stinky,
00:58:15hippie peddler.
00:58:16And my son just signed
00:58:17a $100 billion contract.
00:58:20He still got the contract?
00:58:22Hmm.
00:58:23Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:24Even if he does sign it,
00:58:25he doesn't have the liquidity
00:58:26to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:28Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:30Bet you've never seen
00:58:31this much cash before.
00:58:33Bet you've never seen
00:58:34this much cash before.
00:58:38You take my charity
00:58:39and toss it in my face
00:58:41as if it's your own.
00:58:43My maid wouldn't even pick up
00:58:44such a pitiful amount.
00:58:46$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:49$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:51$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:56Oh!
00:58:57Oh!
00:58:58Hey!
00:58:59Hey!
00:59:00Ow!
00:59:01Stop!
00:59:03You okay?
00:59:04Are you hurt?
00:59:09Weakling.
00:59:10You!
00:59:11You!
00:59:12Just a few days ago
00:59:13you found yourself a boy toy
00:59:14right after getting divorced.
00:59:16And now you have two more?
00:59:18What a whore.
00:59:20What a whore.
00:59:22What a whore.
00:59:23Yeah.
00:59:24And Jared wanted to
00:59:25get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping
00:59:29with a married man
00:59:30wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go.
00:59:33We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:39I'll scream!
00:59:40I don't hit women.
00:59:42But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:45But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:47I said I don't kill women.
00:59:48Oh God.
00:59:49He is a murderer.
00:59:51What if he murders me?
00:59:52Not him.
00:59:53Definitely not him.
00:59:59We're not afraid of you.
01:00:01That's enough.
01:00:02This isn't a war zone.
01:00:03You'll be removed
01:00:04from being a five-star general
01:00:05if you hurt a civilian
01:00:06without adequate cause.
01:00:08I was just messing with him.
01:00:10Was he though?
01:00:11We're not afraid of you!
01:00:13Jared!
01:00:14You have to avenge us!
01:00:15You have to!
01:00:17You have to avenge us!
01:00:18Look at this slut.
01:00:19She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:21She's cheating on you!
01:00:22Don't get back with her!
01:00:24Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:25I apologize for this scene.
01:00:27I'll toss out the potty crashes
01:00:28immediately
01:00:29so that you can go
01:00:30to your salvation banquet.
01:00:32Who did you say you were
01:00:33going to toss out?
01:00:34Who did you say you were
01:00:35going to toss out?
01:00:36The potty crashes.
01:00:40You have any idea who that is?
01:00:42That's my wife.
01:00:44We saved that title
01:00:45for the real skank over there.
01:00:46That's right.
01:00:47Know your place.
01:00:48Shut up.
01:00:49She's cheating on you.
01:00:52Know your place.
01:00:53You're just a side piece.
01:00:54If I still want you, that is.
01:00:56Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:58This is Eric Vanderbilt's
01:00:59only daughter.
01:01:00You slap her for this whore?
01:01:02Mom!
01:01:04They really think there's
01:01:05something, huh?
01:01:06Angela's an heiress to a family
01:01:07whose wealth and status
01:01:08goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:10She's richer even
01:01:11than Ellen Musk.
01:01:13I only got the Maple Closet
01:01:14project because
01:01:16she gave it to me.
01:01:18What?
01:01:20You apologize right now
01:01:21or I will kick you
01:01:22and your father to the curb.
01:01:29I'm sorry.
01:01:31No.
01:01:33This can't be.
01:01:35I made you divorce...
01:01:39Go home.
01:01:41You're not suited to come
01:01:42with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:46I apologize on behalf
01:01:47of my mother.
01:01:50Honey, I know you came
01:01:51here to celebrate
01:01:52my achievements.
01:01:54I promise no one
01:01:55will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here for you.
01:01:59I'm on a date.
01:02:01A date with two men
01:02:02at the same time?
01:02:04She really is a whore.
01:02:06Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:08I really do love you.
01:02:11Oh ho!
01:02:12Lady Luck!
01:02:13Oh ho!
01:02:14Lady Luck is here!
01:02:17Oh ho!
01:02:18Lady Luck is here!
01:02:22Yeah, we already know
01:02:23you beat Ford's ass.
01:02:25We're too old for that.
01:02:27They're here for my
01:02:28celebration banquet.
01:02:30Please, you gave me the contract
01:02:31so if anyone should go
01:02:33as my guest of honor,
01:02:34it should be you.
01:02:35Oh yes, please Miss Luck.
01:02:37Join us.
01:02:38We'll all be one happy
01:02:39business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you
01:02:43all doing here?
01:02:44Where were you?
01:02:46Stomach issues.
01:02:48Again?
01:02:49Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:51No.
01:02:53Let me make myself clear,
01:02:55okay?
01:02:57I would rather die
01:02:59than be with you again.
01:03:01Seems that they're not
01:03:02actually on good terms.
01:03:04I can't lose face
01:03:05in front of these pricks.
01:03:07Otherwise they'll cut me off too.
01:03:09Angela, I know you're still mad
01:03:10but please give me a chance.
01:03:11I'll prove it to you.
01:03:13You want a chance?
01:03:14Angela, no.
01:03:16You have three great guys here
01:03:17who all want to marry you.
01:03:19Don't take him back.
01:03:21I'll give you two choices.
01:03:25I'll give you two choices.
01:03:28Me
01:03:30or the contract.
01:03:32You're kidding me.
01:03:34No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:36If you choose me,
01:03:38we can remarry this week.
01:03:40But you don't get
01:03:41the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:43The choice is all yours.
01:03:45That's a tough choice.
01:03:47You think so?
01:03:49He either marries a royal heiress
01:03:50or gets a contract
01:03:51that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:53Either way, he benefits.
01:03:55Why can't I have both?
01:03:57You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:59Angela, I saved you
01:04:00in the pool, remember?
01:04:02I deserve the contract.
01:04:04Did you really?
01:04:09Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:10He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:12Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:15I choose the contract.
01:04:17I knew it.
01:04:19You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:21With this contract,
01:04:23my company's earning potential
01:04:24is limitless.
01:04:26Angela Lockhart,
01:04:27you humiliated me
01:04:28in front of everyone.
01:04:30I will get you one day.
01:04:32Let me show you something.
01:04:33You saved me.
01:04:39You saved me.
01:04:41I'm sorry
01:04:43if his lies
01:04:44led to you wasting
01:04:45three years of your life.
01:04:48But I promise you,
01:04:50I will get you
01:04:51one day.
01:04:53I will get you
01:04:54one day.
01:04:56I will get you
01:04:57one day.
01:04:59I will get you
01:05:00one day.
01:05:02I'm gonna make it up to you
01:05:03with the rest of our lives.
01:05:05No, no.
01:05:06I wasn't lying.
01:05:07I just couldn't,
01:05:09can't remember exactly
01:05:10what happened that day.
01:05:18Does that mean
01:05:19we both each saved her once?
01:05:22What?
01:05:23Me?
01:05:24Dr. Wilson?
01:05:25Losing at saving people?
01:05:27No way.
01:05:28You guys,
01:05:29one of you,
01:05:30do something life-threatening
01:05:31right now.
01:05:32You're crazy.
01:05:34And actually,
01:05:36they've all been doing
01:05:37horrible shit
01:05:38behind your back.
01:05:39What?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me
01:05:43investigate their company's
01:05:44dealings.
01:05:45Turns out they've been
01:05:46fudging the numbers
01:05:47on your shared accounts
01:05:48and contracts.
01:05:49Put it simply,
01:05:50they've been stealing
01:05:51from you.
01:05:52I can't believe
01:05:53I didn't realize.
01:05:55Ms. Lockhart,
01:05:56I'm so sorry.
01:05:57I should have had
01:05:58third-party accountants
01:05:59check thoroughly.
01:06:01No, it's not your fault.
01:06:02They're just
01:06:03too slick.
01:06:04You'd like me
01:06:05to punish them for you.
01:06:06Oh God, no.
01:06:07Not that again.
01:06:08Please.
01:06:09Max,
01:06:11you know what to do.
01:06:24The banks
01:06:25have pulled
01:06:26all of our funds.
01:06:27All business ties
01:06:28have been severed.
01:06:29We're bankrupt.
01:06:30No!
01:06:35How did you do that?
01:06:36Who are you?
01:06:37And don't say
01:06:38Spider-Man.
01:06:41I'll tell you
01:06:42who I am.
01:06:45I'll tell you
01:06:46who I am.
01:06:49I am
01:06:51Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:53What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more
01:06:55bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:57You're Crypto Punk
01:06:58Number Two?
01:07:00Well,
01:07:01I'm Crypto Punk
01:07:02Number One.
01:07:03See?
01:07:04You are Number One
01:07:05at something.
01:07:06The most expensive
01:07:07NFT collection
01:07:08in the world.
01:07:09Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:11It's all about
01:07:12young money now.
01:07:13So,
01:07:14how about our date?
01:07:20I'm not letting
01:07:21them one-up me
01:07:22on this one.
01:07:23I'll spy two.
01:07:30They forgot to cancel
01:07:31my contract.
01:07:33I still have
01:07:34the 100 billion dollar
01:07:35project.
01:07:37Yes!
01:07:38I'm rich!
01:07:40They make them
01:07:41all pay soon!
01:07:47What?
01:07:48Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:49The Maple Plaza
01:07:50contract requires us
01:07:51to provide
01:07:5250 percent
01:07:53of the project
01:07:54to you.
01:07:55I don't know
01:07:56what you're talking
01:07:57about.
01:07:58The contract
01:07:59requires us
01:08:00to provide
01:08:0150 percent
01:08:02of the cost
01:08:03up front.
01:08:04Otherwise,
01:08:05it's a breach
01:08:06of contract
01:08:07and we'll have
01:08:08to pay for
01:08:09all financial
01:08:10repercussions.
01:08:11No!
01:08:12I'm bankrupt.
01:08:13I need
01:08:14a little
01:08:15odd card.
01:08:16You tricked me!
01:08:17Oh,
01:08:18allow me.
01:08:21I'm sorry
01:08:22I was late,
01:08:23my queen.
01:08:24I had to get
01:08:25some very
01:08:26important materials.
01:08:28For our special
01:08:29date.
01:08:30Well,
01:08:31cheers.
01:08:32Cheers.
01:08:41This looks good.
01:08:47Did you use
01:08:48my spices?
01:08:50I know your ex-in-law
01:08:51has never
01:08:52appreciated you.
01:08:55You can have
01:08:56all the money
01:08:57and you still
01:08:58can't force a man
01:08:59to love you.
01:09:01Couldn't even
01:09:02remember our
01:09:03anniversary.
01:09:07Angela,
01:09:10your future
01:09:11with me
01:09:14is going to be
01:09:15different.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:17Upstairs.
01:09:27Wow.
01:09:28Devon,
01:09:29I can't believe
01:09:30this is what
01:09:31I've been missing
01:09:32out on these
01:09:33past few years
01:09:34just because of
01:09:35some silly mistake.
01:09:37Angela,
01:09:38I've known
01:09:39and loved you
01:09:40for three whole years.
01:09:42Actually,
01:09:43I've also loved
01:09:44you for three years.
01:09:46That's right.
01:09:47I've been
01:09:48in love
01:09:49with you
01:09:50for three whole
01:09:51years.
01:09:52I've been
01:09:53in love
01:09:54with you
01:09:55for three whole
01:09:57years.
01:09:58I fell in love
01:09:59with you
01:10:00three years ago,
01:10:01too.
01:10:02How is
01:10:03all of this
01:10:04possible?
01:10:05I didn't
01:10:06meet any of you
01:10:07until recently.
01:10:08Well,
01:10:09actually,
01:10:10maybe Devon,
01:10:11but...
01:10:12I've had a crush
01:10:13on you
01:10:14since college.
01:10:15You were my
01:10:16motivation
01:10:17to go to
01:10:18business school.
01:10:19Despite who
01:10:20you were,
01:10:21you never
01:10:22judged me
01:10:23for being poor.
01:10:24Are you
01:10:25trying to get
01:10:26$1,500
01:10:27in a suit
01:10:28like that?
01:10:30All you do
01:10:31is babble
01:10:32on and on
01:10:33about
01:10:34internet money,
01:10:35Bitcoin,
01:10:36and shit like that.
01:10:38Are you
01:10:39trying to steal
01:10:40my spot?
01:10:42I'll teach you
01:10:43a lesson.
01:10:45Hey!
01:10:46Get away from me!
01:10:47Angela!
01:10:50Fancy girl.
01:10:51I like her.
01:10:56How is he?
01:10:57It's a rare poison
01:10:58made from
01:10:59a mixture
01:11:00of dried roots
01:11:01found in Africa.
01:11:02Astragal,
01:11:03saltifu.
01:11:04Can it be cured?
01:11:05I actually
01:11:06think I know
01:11:07that poison.
01:11:08It sounds
01:11:09really scary,
01:11:10but its cure
01:11:11can actually
01:11:12be found
01:11:13in any
01:11:14developed country.
01:11:15Household
01:11:16salt.
01:11:18Household
01:11:19salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31What time is it now?
01:11:34Oh, shoot.
01:11:35I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:43I like her.
01:11:45We have been
01:11:46rivals ever since.
01:11:48So,
01:11:49that's how
01:11:50I,
01:11:51well,
01:11:52we
01:11:53all met.
01:11:54I barely
01:11:55remember.
01:11:56I should have never let you
01:11:57go to swim practice
01:11:58that day.
01:11:59Matthew Richards,
01:12:00the guy who poisoned me,
01:12:01attacked you
01:12:02out of revenge.
01:12:03You wouldn't have known.
01:12:04I did hear
01:12:05you dropped out
01:12:06and became a loan shark,
01:12:07though.
01:12:08That makes you
01:12:09feel any better.
01:12:10Yeah, I think that
01:12:11suits him a little better.
01:12:12Angela,
01:12:13your seven days
01:12:14is almost up.
01:12:15Now that you know
01:12:16they all loved
01:12:17you,
01:12:18who will you pick?
01:12:23How can that be?
01:12:25Angela Lockhart
01:12:26is an heiress?
01:12:32Kaylee,
01:12:33we've gone
01:12:34bankrupt.
01:12:36Bankrupt?
01:12:37The Vanderbilt's
01:12:38have gone
01:12:39bankrupt?
01:12:41Well then,
01:12:42get out of here.
01:12:43You can't do this
01:12:44to me.
01:12:46Oh!
01:12:48Jared!
01:12:49Mom, it's me.
01:12:50What happened?
01:12:52Jared,
01:12:53I have carefully
01:12:54reconsidered.
01:12:55Angela is way better
01:12:56than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back
01:12:58with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:00What?
01:13:05Jared Cooper.
01:13:08We're here to
01:13:09propose to you
01:13:10along with this.
01:13:12No one is going
01:13:13to save you now.
01:13:14What?
01:13:15Mom!
01:13:19What kind of an asshole
01:13:20throws his own
01:13:21mother to the dogs?
01:13:25Who will you pick?
01:13:29I...
01:13:35I brought you
01:13:36fried chicken.
01:13:37Fried chicken?
01:13:38Hey, not all girls
01:13:39like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I did live in Atlanta
01:13:42for three months.
01:13:44Sucking up last minute.
01:13:46At least I don't speak
01:13:47like an AI robot.
01:13:49Hey, stop.
01:13:50Stop.
01:13:52Welcome back
01:13:53to The Bachelorette.
01:13:55I mean,
01:13:56the three badasses
01:13:57who want me.
01:13:58I mean,
01:13:59Angela Lockhart,
01:14:01you know what I mean.
01:14:03Today,
01:14:04our heiress bachelorette
01:14:05will choose
01:14:06which one of our
01:14:07three badasses
01:14:08will she marry.
01:14:10Will it be Shane,
01:14:11the doctor?
01:14:12Cole,
01:14:14the general?
01:14:17Or Devin,
01:14:18the CEO?
01:14:22Uh,
01:14:23looks like our bachelorette
01:14:24may need a little more
01:14:25time to decide.
01:14:27Oh, the suspense
01:14:28is killing me.
01:14:30But when she does,
01:14:31she will take
01:14:32this eternal rose
01:14:33made from glass
01:14:34imported from Venice
01:14:35and give it
01:14:36to our winner.
01:14:38Angela?
01:14:39Angela?
01:14:42Oh,
01:14:43I, uh,
01:14:46I need more time
01:14:47to think.
01:14:51Uh,
01:14:52while our bachelorette
01:14:53takes a little time
01:14:54to decide,
01:14:55why don't we check in
01:14:56with each of our candidates?
01:14:58Let's check in
01:14:59with each of our candidates.
01:15:01Let's start with Cole.
01:15:03Cole.
01:15:07There's not much to say.
01:15:09Who wouldn't want
01:15:10a five-star general
01:15:11who has huge biceps,
01:15:13a massive chest,
01:15:16who would protect
01:15:17their wife?
01:15:20Okay,
01:15:21thank you.
01:15:22Uh, Shane?
01:15:25Muscles,
01:15:26money,
01:15:28they won't get you so far.
01:15:30But you need a well-balanced
01:15:31man like me
01:15:32that has more than one way
01:15:33to keep a lady happy,
01:15:34if you know what I mean.
01:15:39Okay,
01:15:40I think we do.
01:15:41And Devin?
01:15:44That was quite disgusting.
01:15:48I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:50I know she's going under
01:15:51a lot of stress right now,
01:15:53a lot of choices to make,
01:15:55and she's my queen.
01:15:57I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:59Now, one more thing.
01:16:01What kind of a doctor
01:16:03brings fried chicken
01:16:04to a girl?
01:16:06That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:09And then you!
01:16:11You know what they say
01:16:12about military men.
01:16:14They beat their wives.
01:16:20Enough!
01:16:23Stand up!
01:16:25Hey, you guys.
01:16:28Whoa, break it up!
01:16:30Hey!
01:16:31Break it up!
01:16:36Cut to commercial!
01:16:38Cut to commercial!
01:16:57This is the hardest decision
01:16:58I've ever had to make
01:16:59in my entire life.
01:17:02Who do I choose?
01:17:08Angela's marrying me!
01:17:10You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:12Oh yeah?
01:17:14I may be a doctor,
01:17:15but like I said,
01:17:16I know and possess
01:17:18the deadliest poisons
01:17:19in the world.
01:17:22What don't you have
01:17:23in that coat?
01:17:24Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:26I won't let you take Angela
01:17:27away from me.
01:17:28I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:30Don't forget about me.
01:17:32It's time I reveal
01:17:33my true identity.
01:17:34These stupid profile cards
01:17:36don't make any sense.
01:17:38They do not.
01:17:39They do not help.
01:17:41Who made these?
01:18:01It's time I reveal
01:18:02my true identity.
01:18:04It's time I reveal
01:18:05my true identity.
01:18:08I'm actually a part
01:18:09of the X-Men.
01:18:11And I have the power of
01:18:14telekinesis!
01:18:30We may have to work together
01:18:31to take him down.
01:18:34This battle within our heads
01:18:35is the most intense
01:18:36I've ever experienced.
01:18:38I may not be able
01:18:39to take them both down
01:18:40if they decide to team up.
01:18:42Hmm.
01:18:43Winter Mint
01:18:44or Cool Mint?
01:18:49You know,
01:18:51I've always really liked
01:18:52your hair.
01:18:53Really?
01:18:55I'm actually
01:18:56a fan of yours.
01:18:57I've always liked
01:18:58your hair.
01:18:59Really?
01:19:00I've always liked
01:19:01your hair.
01:19:02Really?
01:19:04I'm actually
01:19:05pretty self-conscious
01:19:06about it.
01:19:07So I appreciate that.
01:19:10Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:11And you know,
01:19:12Cool,
01:19:13I've always really liked
01:19:14the way you talk.
01:19:16Really?
01:19:17Yeah.
01:19:20What do you got for me?
01:19:22I always
01:19:24really liked the way
01:19:25you chew gum.
01:19:26Yeah?
01:19:27Yeah.
01:19:28That's fresh, right?
01:19:29Yeah.
01:19:31You know,
01:19:32you're actually
01:19:33I'll take you.
01:19:34You need me to look at you?
01:19:35I got you.
01:19:36Hey, me?
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:42It was Jared Cooper.
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:46We have to find her.
01:19:47What, how?
01:19:48Her ring.
01:19:49Her dad installed
01:19:50a GPS tracking mechanism
01:19:51on her ring just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then.
01:19:54My fiancée!
01:19:55My fiancée!
01:19:57What was that?
01:20:03Jared.
01:20:07What am I doing here?
01:20:09You destroyed me.
01:20:13They took everything.
01:20:15What?
01:20:16I have nothing left.
01:20:19It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:20:22I was greedy
01:20:23to have sex with my wife?
01:20:25What?
01:20:26I'm not your wife anymore.
01:20:28Oh, yeah, I know.
01:20:29You wouldn't take me back now
01:20:30not unless I get you pregnant
01:20:31with my child.
01:20:32This is illegal.
01:20:33You wouldn't want your child
01:20:34to be away from its father.
01:20:36You won't have me arrested.
01:20:38You will take me back.
01:20:40Ow!
01:20:42Oh, bitch.
01:20:45I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:47Oh, shit.
01:20:49Oh, shit.
01:20:50Oh, shit.
01:20:55You will be begging me
01:20:57to fuck you soon.
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:01Antoine!
01:21:02Come back!
01:21:06We're too late!
01:21:08I drugged her.
01:21:09She'll be dead soon
01:21:10unless...
01:21:11Not yet?
01:21:12Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:14He really does have everything
01:21:15in his coat.
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit.
01:21:17Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:18We get it already.
01:21:19Just save my boss!
01:21:22Here you go.
01:21:28You're all good now.
01:21:30Oh, thank God.
01:21:32But what do we do
01:21:33with that piece of shit?
01:21:34What?
01:21:35What are you gonna do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop!
01:21:37No!
01:21:38Don't!
01:21:40Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:42No!
01:21:44No!
01:21:46I'm glad we didn't actually
01:21:47have that fight.
01:21:49Turns out he's the most
01:21:50dangerous of them all.
01:21:57So who did you pick,
01:21:58sweetheart?
01:21:59Have you invited
01:22:00the most important figures
01:22:01of the world to your wedding?
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan?
01:22:04And remember,
01:22:05we will kill ourselves
01:22:06if you don't choose.
01:22:12Welcome back
01:22:13to the finale of
01:22:14The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:17We're down to the wire.
01:22:18Literally.
01:22:19The wedding day.
01:22:20But who's the groom?
01:22:34Welcome back
01:22:35to the finale of
01:22:36The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:38But who's the groom?
01:22:42Uh,
01:22:43seems our heiress still
01:22:45hasn't decided.
01:22:47Any input from the parents?
01:22:49Maybe that will help sway
01:22:50our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:53This is exciting.
01:22:54Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:57Let me think.
01:23:01I like the doctor.
01:23:03He's cute.
01:23:06But the general looks
01:23:08like a strong fellow.
01:23:10And we can't forget
01:23:12about Devon Sterling,
01:23:13the one who's loved her
01:23:14the longest.
01:23:15Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:16Angela.
01:23:23You are all three
01:23:25very fine gentlemen.
01:23:29And I'm really grateful
01:23:31for all of your love.
01:23:33But this was a really
01:23:35hard decision.
01:23:36And I decided to
01:23:39devise one last challenge.
01:23:42I'm just kidding.
01:23:43I'm just as sick of this
01:23:44as you guys are.
01:23:49Each of our candidates
01:23:50have saved our main character.
01:23:53I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:23:55They've all proven
01:23:56their undying love.
01:23:58So who gets to unlock
01:23:59Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:01Literally.
01:24:04I'm so sorry.
01:24:05I'm so sorry.
01:24:06I'm so sorry.
01:24:07I'm so sorry.
01:24:08I'm so sorry.
01:24:09I'm so sorry.
01:24:10I'm so sorry.
01:24:11Could it be
01:24:13the sexy and protective
01:24:15general with a temper,
01:24:16Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:23Or the fun, wicked-minded,
01:24:26but kind of weird,
01:24:28Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:32And last but not least,
01:24:34could it be
01:24:35the richest man of them all,
01:24:37the man Angela would have married
01:24:39a long time ago,
01:24:41Mr. Devin Starling?
01:24:45Gentlemen.
01:24:47It's been a pleasure
01:24:48getting to know you.
01:24:49It has.
01:24:50May the best man win.
01:24:52May the best man win.
01:24:55Drum roll, please.
01:24:57Gotta make you understand
01:25:01Never gonna give you up
01:25:03Never gonna let you down
01:25:05Never gonna run around
01:25:07and desert you
01:25:09Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:18I choose...
01:25:27I need a powerful, strong man
01:25:30and I really feel like he can protect me.
01:25:35Who could resist those guns?
01:25:39Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:25:41Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:57Shane, it's you.
01:25:59I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:01You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:05It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:10I hope we can build together.
01:26:12Guns, baby?
01:26:24It's always been you.
01:26:27Yeah.
01:26:34I'll always love you.
01:26:38Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:41Ellen, Ellen.
01:26:42Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:44Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:46I need fruit-flavored gum for you.