Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Saleem Albela | Agha Majid | Comedy Show | 24th November 2024
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00:00Hoshiyariya Hoshiyariya
00:18Assalam-o-Alaikum viewers, I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyariya.
00:21Neither you nor we are getting bored of watching Hoshiyariya, nor we are getting bored of doing Hoshiyariya.
00:26Viewers, before I start today's show, I would like to say one thing.
00:30This is especially for the husband and wife, and newly married couples can take more advantage of this.
00:38It is a very big problem, that many times in life you have weaker moments.
00:44Emotionally you are weak, so you tell your wife or husband some such things about your heart,
00:52some such things about your past, which they listen to at that time,
00:56they express their love for you, but after that those same things become a taunt for you.
01:02The problem is not that you don't say those things.
01:05The problem is that the biggest immorality in the world that you can do with your spouse is
01:13that the weaker and emotional moments that are shared with you in love, sadness, grief or helplessness,
01:22they should be put in front of you as a taunt at the time of a fight.
01:26If you do this, then this is the biggest immorality that you do with your spouse.
01:31This leads to the fact that no man, with his wife or his husband,
01:37if they don't share their feelings, they shut themselves off at their weak moments,
01:42and this leads to hatred and distance in relationships.
01:45Don't do this. Let's start today's show with this message.
01:49Today, let's see what is happening behind the scenes in Mr. Chaudhary's den.
01:58How are you, Haroon?
01:59Alhamdulillah, how are you?
02:01It's a great blessing that you said that taunts are made in friendship.
02:05Yes.
02:06But it's not like that.
02:07Fifty years of marriage with a woman.
02:09This woman?
02:10Fifty years of friendship.
02:12Friendship, friendship.
02:13It's not about friendship, it's about a spouse.
02:16Oh no.
02:17This is my friend and he is my friend.
02:20Isn't this a spouse?
02:23You both don't have as much love and affection as a spouse.
02:26Believe me, no taunts have been made so far.
02:29No.
02:30No taunts have been made.
02:31We have slapped each other, we have slapped each other.
02:34No taunts have been made.
02:37One thing, Haroon, you are right.
02:38Yes.
02:39A king should always be a king.
02:41Yes.
02:42I have so many kings.
02:43Yes, of course.
02:44Let me tell you something.
02:45No, no.
02:48A king should always be a king.
02:49He shouldn't be a laborer.
02:52He says, a king should always be a king.
02:53He shouldn't be a laborer.
02:55But this is wrong.
02:56There should be a lack of cleanliness.
03:01By the way, Mr. Chaudhary, you had told your sister-in-law all your secrets, right?
03:05She is dead.
03:06She died with a stick.
03:07Oh wow.
03:08She was a very generous woman.
03:09Yes.
03:10I don't know who betrayed her.
03:11I don't understand what was Mr. Chaudhary's secret that she died as soon as she went into Chaudhary's stomach?
03:19Oh man, Raj, I curse you.
03:22These are Punjabi spices.
03:23She died with a stick.
03:25You know it's the season of marriage these days.
03:26A lot of marriages are taking place.
03:27So many marriages are taking place in the village.
03:29Believe me, there is no time.
03:30There is some or the other marriage every day.
03:32If there was any happiness in the village, it would have reached before Mr. Chaudhary.
03:35Wow.
03:36He is called a fool.
03:38Mr. Chaudhary, how much do you give as a gift?
03:40The thing is that I have never disclosed these things.
03:43Okay.
03:44What should I give as a gift?
03:46I would have given someone's food.
03:47I would have given someone furniture.
03:49I would have given someone money.
03:50I would have given someone jewelry.
03:52I have never disclosed these things.
03:54Wow.
03:55This is a very good thing.
03:56The things that you are going to say will reach all the countries.
04:03Mr. Chaudhary, I am very tired today.
04:05I can't say anything.
04:06Stop it.
04:09Mr. Chaudhary, tell me one thing.
04:10You give so much.
04:13Obviously, God has given you a lot of money.
04:16Didn't you keep any guards for your safety?
04:21Sir, the thing is that
04:23the thing is that
04:24if someone has an enmity with someone,
04:26we will not harm anyone.
04:28Sir, what is the need for guards when I am there?
04:31I am the one who is always ready to protect.
04:33You have kept this for safety.
04:35No, when I am present here,
04:37you know how much land has been seized.
04:40I have gone there and played with it.
04:43How did you get it seized?
04:44What happened?
04:45Sir, the land has been seized.
04:47Then you should be proud.
04:49Sir, you should be proud.
04:52When I went there,
04:53I told them that if they want to die,
04:56then they should be proud.
04:59God knows what they said.
05:01I don't know what they said.
05:05How many people were there?
05:06Sir, there were so many people.
05:08There were so many enemies.
05:11There was a black cat in the far corner.
05:14Really?
05:15Oh, God.
05:16The black cat bit me.
05:19It was taking me to the place
05:20where there would be a fight.
05:22Oh, God.
05:24When I called for help,
05:26it came out.
05:27It was around 605 feet away.
05:29The black cat bit me.
05:32What did it say?
05:33It bit me.
05:35When I hit it, it bit me.
05:39This is our Punjabi joke.
05:42He is saying that he thought this must be a trap.
05:45He thought that someone is following him.
05:48He thought that someone is following him.
05:51Oh, wow.
05:52He said,
05:53I will kill you if you steal.
05:55There is no one to save me.
05:56Rakhee, this is your bravery.
05:58I knew it.
06:02God saved us.
06:04What happened?
06:05Sit comfortably.
06:06We are safe.
06:07Greetings, Mr. Chaudhary.
06:09Greetings.
06:10Mr. Chaudhary, what should I tell you?
06:12Is it raining outside?
06:13Greetings.
06:14Where is the room?
06:15What happened?
06:16Problem.
06:17We have reached here with great difficulty, Mr. Chaudhary.
06:20There is a lot of crime in this society.
06:22I have seen a lot of dacoits.
06:24Who are you?
06:25He is from our village.
06:26Jeera.
06:27He is Yakub's son.
06:28Yakub.
06:29Yakub.
06:30He is a hero.
06:31Okay.
06:32He has grown a leg.
06:34He was a very good man.
06:35Oh, God.
06:36Sister, I thought that dacoit was following you.
06:40Who are they?
06:41They are my wives.
06:43You have two wives?
06:44Uncle, don't worry.
06:45Be brave.
06:46Bring some water.
06:47Give him some water.
06:48Be brave.
06:49You have come to this mansion.
06:50Yes.
06:51Mr. Chaudhary.
06:52No one will do anything to you.
06:54What happened?
06:55Why are you so scared?
06:57Sir, we were about to get married.
06:59But dacoits stopped us on the way.
07:01Oh.
07:02Then?
07:03Did they rob you?
07:04No, sir.
07:05God saved us.
07:06There is one thing.
07:07You are a very lucky man.
07:08You are safe from dacoits.
07:10And I think your wives don't fight with each other.
07:12No, sir.
07:13Thank God.
07:14We haven't fought for two months.
07:15Look, they love each other so much.
07:17By the way, this man should be crowned.
07:19Wow.
07:20Weren't you traumatized when dacoits came?
07:22Oh.
07:23We were so scared, sister.
07:25I was worried that they would rob you.
07:29Sister, when these dacoits stopped us, I got scared.
07:32I was sure that you would be shot today.
07:35Oh.
07:36Oh.
07:37Sister, I thought they would shoot you.
07:42Thank God, they didn't.
07:43Oh.
07:47Sir, they have been here for two months.
07:49Okay.
07:50When they started robbing, I convinced them.
07:53You didn't convince them.
07:54It's time to sit down and convince the dacoits.
07:57Mr. Adon, when the dacoits came, I heard a loud bang.
08:00Oh.
08:01I thought, sister is dead.
08:03It was like a rap.
08:05This is too much.
08:07What did you convince them?
08:08I convinced them that you have started robbing a poor man.
08:12Yes.
08:13You should rob him.
08:14Look, he has robbed hundreds of kilos of gold.
08:16What?
08:17Yes.
08:18That's a good advice.
08:20Where is he sitting?
08:25Mr. Adon, God knows.
08:27I would have saved more gold today.
08:29Oh, what is that?
08:30Oh, Mr. Haroon.
08:32Such a big raffle with dacoits.
08:34I think this raffle is going to kill Bajji today.
08:38According to me, a sister has to go in their love.
08:44You have saved a lot.
08:45What did you save?
08:46Sir, I had Rs. 300,000 in my pocket.
08:48Okay.
08:49They told me to deduct it.
08:50Then?
08:51My sixth share worked.
08:52What?
08:53I said, what will you do with this Rs. 300,000?
08:55Yes.
08:56If you want money, go to Chaudhary's den.
08:58You will get Rs. 40-50 crores cash in 24 hours.
09:01What?
09:02Did you tell them that the dacoits gave you Rs. 100?
09:07Mr. Haroon, when the dacoits came, I heard a loud noise.
09:10I got scared and didn't look behind me.
09:13Why?
09:14I said, Bajji's dead body is behind me.
09:16Oh, you are so sweet.
09:18Look there.
09:20You both were worried about each other.
09:23But you didn't worry about your husband?
09:27No.
09:29Mr. Chaudhary, we have come here to talk.
09:31Arrange something for us.
09:33When you called me again and again on the way,
09:36I said, come to my house.
09:37I think they are coming here.
09:40Let's go.
09:41Hello.
09:42Let them go.
09:43Look, Rs. 300,000.
09:44We have crores.
09:48Mr. Chaudhary, I am going to my in-laws' house.
09:51It's getting late.
09:52My mother-in-law is unwell.
09:54Give me leave.
09:55What happened? Is your mother-in-law unwell?
09:56No, her mother-in-law died last year.
09:59I remember.
10:00She has come again.
10:03Mr. Chaudhary, you know what?
10:04This happens only to a mother.
10:06But we should defend ourselves.
10:08Absolutely.
10:09We have our Jhansi's in front of us.
10:11They give us food on rent.
10:12Keep a guard there.
10:13Nothing will happen.
10:14I am also there.
10:16Keep a guard there.
10:19Uncle, give me the phone.
10:20Yes.
10:21Dhana says it's okay.
10:23Mr. Chaudhary, it's a good thing.
10:24We have to get ready.
10:25Hello.
10:26We need a guard.
10:28A strong guard.
10:30Yes.
10:31Don't worry about the money.
10:32Don't ask for money.
10:34It's not about Rs. 45,000.
10:36No.
10:37You are a scoundrel.
10:38A strong guard.
10:39It's the same thing.
10:41No.
10:42You are a scoundrel.
10:44If I tell you to do this,
10:46you will do it to yourself.
10:48You are a scoundrel.
10:49I am telling you to send a guard.
10:52Yes.
10:53A strong guard.
10:55Mr. Chaudhary,
10:56what are you saying?
10:57I am telling you to send a guard.
10:58You keep saying it again and again.
11:00You don't have a guard.
11:01I am telling you to send a guard.
11:04I have always given you good advice.
11:06No, Dhana.
11:07I understood.
11:10Greetings.
11:11Greetings.
11:13Did you ask for a guard?
11:14You keep telling me to send a guard.
11:16Send a guard.
11:17Send him.
11:21What is your name, uncle?
11:22Jagawar is my name.
11:23Wow.
11:24Jagawar.
11:25I think he is a good guard.
11:27But I have a doubt.
11:29If people come and attack,
11:31how long will you defend with two guns?
11:34Bullets.
11:36Till date,
11:38I have not fired a single bullet.
11:39Wow.
11:40Did you fire more than one?
11:41No, I didn't.
11:43You didn't?
11:44No.
11:45No one has died under my watch.
11:47Wow.
11:48Jagawar's name.
11:50Wow.
11:51I have seen a variation guard after a long time.
11:54But the thing is…
11:55Is there a variation guard?
11:56Yes, there is.
11:57Okay, because of your terror,
11:59you never fired a single bullet.
12:00No.
12:01I didn't fire a single bullet.
12:02Because of terror.
12:03Mr. Chaudhary, with my terror,
12:06no dog can touch me.
12:07I didn't fire a single bullet either.
12:11What happened, Mr. Chaudhary?
12:12The thing is,
12:13I heard that a dacoit has come to the village.
12:16I also heard that.
12:17I also heard that.
12:18The boy made a mistake.
12:20He told them that Chaudhary has so much gold and money.
12:25He is just a little heartless.
12:27Did the dacoit tell you about his own man?
12:29He is our man.
12:30He is from the village.
12:31He gave the location to the dacoits.
12:33Wow, Mr. Chaudhary.
12:35Then I made a mistake.
12:36There was a car on the road, Mr. Chaudhary.
12:39There were two men in it.
12:41And they looked like dacoits.
12:43Wow.
12:44I took them to a lift and came to Heveri.
12:46Where is Geeta?
12:47She is dead.
12:48What are you doing here?
12:49Oh, she has come out.
12:50Yes, she is taking a bath.
12:51Doesn't the company convince you?
12:56My boss told me to come quickly.
12:58Mr. Chaudhary called me.
12:59I got a lift for the dacoits.
13:01I came quickly.
13:02But don't worry about me.
13:03They will come out.
13:06But don't worry about you.
13:07If I fire a bullet here,
13:10someone dies,
13:11you will be my father.
13:13Uncle, people die here.
13:15If I fire a bullet here,
13:17I won't be responsible for it.
13:19Don't worry, Mr. Chaudhary.
13:23Today, the dacoits will come out.
13:29Hands up.
13:30Hands up.
13:34Dacoits.
13:35Dacoits.
13:36The dacoits have come.
13:37Oh, the dacoits haven't come.
13:38I thought some animal has come.
13:40Oh.
13:46Put the gun down.
13:50Quickly.
13:54Sit down.
13:55No, we have to hit them.
13:59You know that there won't be a fight.
14:02Okay.
14:03If I don't fire a bullet,
14:04no one will die here.
14:06What will happen here?
14:10Mr. Chaudhary,
14:12a wise man says,
14:13whatever you want to say,
14:14say it.
14:15And a boy doesn't say it.
14:16Just a minute.
14:17I don't want to fire a bullet.
14:18Mr. Chaudhary,
14:19I am telling you,
14:20come here.
14:21Come here.
14:22Sit down.
14:23Sit there.
14:24Sit down.
14:26Sit down.
14:28Sit down.
14:29Sit down.
14:30Nothing will happen.
14:31If I don't fire a bullet,
14:32I will become a dacoit.
14:33No, no.
14:34Neither will you fire a bullet,
14:35nor will you become a dacoit.
14:36Sit down.
14:37If he is a scout,
14:38will he say anything?
14:39Mr. Chaudhary,
14:40he is a wise man.
14:41Let's see what happens.
14:42Look,
14:43you have come here
14:44on our behest.
14:46Who calls a dacoit
14:48on our behest?
14:49This is the first time.
14:50It's a bad thing.
14:51Okay.
14:52Have you ever been a dacoit?
14:53No.
14:54Never.
14:55Then do this.
14:56Forget all this.
14:57What do you want?
14:58Wealth.
14:59And gold.
15:00The important question
15:01that Jigawar asked.
15:02What do you want?
15:03What do you want?
15:04I am a wise man.
15:05He is not.
15:06Look,
15:07this is called
15:08to the point.
15:09Do you know
15:10to the point?
15:11Dacoits are here to loot.
15:12He didn't say anything useless.
15:13No.
15:14He said what he wanted.
15:15Okay,
15:16tell me
15:17how much gold do you want?
15:18At least Rs. 50.
15:19Mr. Chaudhary told me.
15:20How much do you want?
15:21It's a big decision.
15:22Mr. Chaudhary,
15:23I will tell you.
15:24Mr. Chaudhary,
15:25you make a deal
15:26for the gold.
15:27I will make
15:28five cups of tea for you.
15:29Hey,
15:30when you talk nonsense,
15:31I don't want to talk.
15:32Okay,
15:33Mr. Chaudhary,
15:34your tea.
15:35What?
15:37God knows
15:38you are close to me.
15:39I will kiss your face
15:40in this decision.
15:43Mr. Chaudhary,
15:44I am saying
15:45that when you talk nonsense,
15:46I don't want to talk.
15:47Yes.
15:48There is no point in shooting.
15:49What do you call this?
15:50No, no.
15:51It's good,
15:52but it's a scam.
15:53Why do you want to shoot?
15:54Hey,
15:55tell me,
15:56do you listen to music?
15:57Yes, I do.
15:58What do you want?
15:59Gold.
16:00Take it.
16:01Will you give me
16:02a biscuit basket?
16:03I will be happy
16:04when I get a job.
16:05Mr. Chaudhary,
16:06are you happy?
16:07Yes,
16:08I will give it to you.
16:11The thing is
16:12that it's not right
16:13to shoot
16:14in such a long distance.
16:15It's a big deal.
16:16Hey,
16:17come here.
16:18I wanted to tell you
16:19that you are dacoits
16:20and you don't have
16:21sugar in your stomach.
16:23This is how it is.
16:24They don't have
16:25a job.
16:27Why do you need two bags?
16:28What?
16:29Mr. Chaudhary,
16:30this is for gold
16:31and this is for money.
16:33You can give me
16:34whatever you see.
16:37Now,
16:38the decision is made.
16:40I want two things.
16:41You want two things?
16:42Yes.
16:43Mr. Chaudhary,
16:44Uday has said
16:45that we are honest
16:46and we will give you
16:47both the bags.
16:48This is your gold.
16:49You can keep it.
16:50My father
16:51has given me
16:52the right to have gold.
16:54Hey,
16:55move aside.
16:56Move aside.
16:57Hey.
16:58Stand straight.
16:59Okay.
17:01That's it.
17:02Now,
17:03the bullet will shoot
17:04and the person will die.
17:05You said
17:06that the bullet won't shoot
17:07and the person will die.
17:08Believe me,
17:09I didn't shoot.
17:14Viewers,
17:15there is a small break.
17:16Don't go anywhere.
17:17We will meet after the break.
17:18Oh, my dear Arun.
17:19I have
17:20saved up
17:21for your entire life.
17:22This is
17:23your entire life's savings?
17:24Is this how it is?
17:26If you don't have
17:27this savings,
17:28your savings
17:29will be like this.
17:31Brother Khalil,
17:32if you have saved this much,
17:33then look at me.
17:34I don't have a six-pack.
17:36He is right.
17:37He is not lying.
17:38Yes.
17:39He has a six-pack.
18:00Welcome back, viewers.
18:01During the break,
18:02we have
18:03some wrestlers
18:04from Gujarat.
18:05Let's talk to them.
18:07Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:10Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:13Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:14Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:16Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:18Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:20Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:22Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:24Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:26Kan-Kana-Kan.
18:28Greetings.
18:29Greetings.
18:30I had given you two a seat.
18:31Why did you go out?
18:32It was fun
18:33to spare time.
18:34I've come to see you.
18:35It's a lot of fun, isn't it, brother?
18:36I had gone for a walk.
18:38You went for a walk?
18:39When you have to go for a walk...
18:41Yes?
18:42...your soul doesn't rest in peace.
18:45Oh, you went for a walk for the peace of your soul.
18:47Because all my life, I've been going for a walk.
18:51But you said you were a wrestler.
18:54We don't have the right to decide who wins or loses.
18:57No.
18:58You look like you've fought in a wrestling match.
19:00He looks like he's had an illness.
19:03He looks like he's had an illness.
19:07He looks like he's had an illness.
19:08He looks like he's had an illness.
19:11You should have gone there first, son.
19:13You could have been an assassin there.
19:18Why have you come to our show today?
19:20Do you know the reason, son?
19:22What?
19:23I've come to rob someone.
19:25Then remove it.
19:26Mr. Bapda Arun, it's not pollution.
19:29Okay.
19:30It's smoke.
19:31It's pollution.
19:33I'm going to put this in the pit.
19:35It's for the city moon.
19:38Okay.
19:39He's saying that he's seen your show again.
19:43Okay.
19:43He's given you a place to stay.
19:46Okay.
19:46You need a place to stay here.
19:49Then go outside and fight.
19:50No, they'll beat you up outside.
19:53You know, the real wrestler is the one who doesn't fight inside.
19:56Yes.
19:57He doesn't fight inside for no reason.
20:00He doesn't fight inside for no reason.
20:03Mr. Bhulwant, the way you're talking to us..
20:06..there's no place for you to eat.
20:07You should find a grave for yourself.
20:10Everyone has to go with their time.
20:12I want you to do this for yourself.
20:16You're the one who's been doing this since last night.
20:20You want me to do this?
20:21There are 12-14 dirt trails around here.
20:25Wow.
20:26Dirt trails here?
20:28Dirt trails here?
20:31The way you're dressed, it looks like a medical store.
20:37Mr. Arun, there's a place behind the set..
20:39..where there are a lot of pimps.
20:41Yes.
20:42So, he's standing there..
20:43No, not pimps.
20:45Then where will I go to fight?
20:50What difference did it make to you when the government hit you?
20:53What's the real difference?
20:55We don't have any revenue.
20:56That's true.
20:57We don't have any revenue.
20:59Until the companies come, they won't sponsor us.
21:01So, Mr. Arun, it's important..
21:03..that one of them becomes a star first.
21:06It's expensive to become a star.
21:09The food they eat, their groceries are worth lakhs.
21:13So, where will they get it from?
21:14I don't know how they've raised him.
21:17Oh.
21:17Oh.
21:18Stop crying.
21:19I'm not crying. I'm not crying.
21:23Mr. Khalifa, don't cry.
21:24Mr. Khalifa, don't cry.
21:26Don't cry, or I'll lose my job.
21:29Arun, what should I tell you? How did they raise him?
21:31Tell me how they raised him.
21:33I swear to God, I raised him like this.
21:36I raised him like this.
21:37You raised him like this?
21:38They hit him four times like this..
21:40..and I put a feeder in his mouth.
21:43Oh, my God.
21:44You mean, they hit him four times.
21:46He used to go to school.
21:47Was I not the only one?
21:50I swear to God, Arun.
21:52You've been with me all my life.
21:55This is what you've been through all your life.
21:59If you don't get this, you'll have to pay Rs. 30.
22:04Mr. Khalifa, if you raise him, I'll lose my job.
22:08He's right. He's not lying.
22:11Yes.
22:11He'll lose his job right here.
22:16You've been with me all my life.
22:18How many times have I told you to build a farm?
22:19You'll get a lot of profit.
22:21He's the cousin of Chulha.
22:24Mr. Bhai, you just said that you didn't see him day or night.
22:27Then why didn't you see him day and night?
22:29He was like this.
22:31God knows how he talks.
22:34He was like this.
22:36He used to be like this.
22:38Give me some sugarcane.
22:41God knows, Arun. He was like this.
22:43Okay.
22:43His mother married my sister.
22:45Yes.
22:45She brought him to me.
22:47Then?
22:48I started talking to him.
22:49Yes.
22:50I didn't find him for an hour and a half.
22:52I didn't find him.
22:54He took me to the farm.
22:56Then he went to the party.
22:59Mr. Khalifa, when did you open your eyes?
23:01I opened my eyes when there was a power cut.
23:05When there was a power cut, I was lying on the bed.
23:10I couldn't see him because he was covered.
23:11Then a woman screamed at me.
23:13She said, congratulations.
23:13I didn't touch your feet.
23:16But why didn't his mother fulfill this responsibility?
23:19Why did she marry you?
23:20Mr. Khalifa, I didn't marry you.
23:21I didn't marry you.
23:22I served my teachers.
23:25Mr. Khalifa, you are my mother, you are my father.
23:28You are my maternal uncle.
23:30You are my in-laws.
23:31What is this?
23:33I am not getting old.
23:36Okay.
23:37That's why you are not getting better.
23:39Okay.
23:39I am telling you.
23:40I am telling everyone.
23:42Who are you telling?
23:42I am telling everyone.
23:43Be ready.
23:45This is a bad habit of yours to joke.
23:48Okay.
23:49Believe me.
23:50You are my brother.
23:51Yes.
23:51God knows me.
23:52When his mother took me to him.
23:55Yes.
23:55She said, Mr. Khalifa, he is your brother.
23:57Yes.
23:58Believe me.
23:59Yes.
23:59He was sick.
24:00What was wrong with him?
24:01He had ulcers on his back.
24:03Oh.
24:04His arms were also on his back.
24:05Oh.
24:06His chest was also on his back.
24:08Oh.
24:09He had nothing on his back.
24:13Then?
24:14I got him treated for three years.
24:16No, he got well.
24:17I got to know that he had ulcers on his face.
24:22Okay.
24:23Okay, brother.
24:24Yes.
24:25I got him treated and he got well.
24:28Mr. Khalifa, do one thing.
24:30Give me this place.
24:31I don't want it.
24:32Listen to me.
24:34Brother, this is a bad habit of yours.
24:36You know.
24:37You insult me wherever you go.
24:39Yes, son.
24:40You are my son.
24:41Yes.
24:41You are the light of my eyes.
24:43Now tell me.
24:44What do you want from me?
24:45Give me this place.
24:46This is the future of my life.
24:48Mr. Khalifa, you want to ruin it.
24:50This is my new house.
24:51I will give you proper money.
24:53I will give you a ticket.
24:54This is my responsibility.
24:55I will clean you up at night.
24:57This will become famous.
24:59I want to keep a wedding here.
25:01You want to keep a wedding here?
25:03Yes.
25:03We will have a big wedding here.
25:05A big wedding.
25:06We will change our clothes here.
25:10This will be a big wedding.
25:11I have bought 15-16 suites here.
25:14You want to get married here?
25:16We have spent millions of rupees
25:18to get this new set.
25:20Believe me.
25:21This round thing.
25:22Yes.
25:23We want to keep it inside.
25:24A pot and a stick.
25:25Oh, God.
25:26It will be cold here.
25:28Where will we go?
25:30You can refuse.
25:31Our food is ready.
25:32We will go to Makhada.
25:33Yes.
25:34Where will you fight?
25:35You will be healthy.
25:37Show me.
25:38You will give me a tight slap.
25:39Bye.
25:39You don't know.
25:40I have a strong body.
25:42He has a strong body.
25:43He has a strong body.
25:44He has a strong body.
25:45He has a strong body.
25:46He has a strong body.
25:47Show me a stick.
25:49No.
25:49I have brought one.
25:50I have brought one.
25:51No.
25:52Show me.
25:53I have brought a few.
25:54I won't open my ears in the morning.
25:58He has brought a big stick.
26:00Give it to me.
26:01What is it?
26:02Look at this.
26:03One.
26:06Wow.
26:07Wow.
26:08That's it.
26:09That's it.
26:14Ladies and gentlemen, there is a small break.
26:16You can meet us anywhere after the break.
26:17This black cat is falling from the fourth floor.
26:21She is looking at me and pulling out her teeth.
26:40Be careful. Be careful.
26:42Be careful. Be careful.
26:46Welcome back, viewers.
26:47Now we are going to play my favourite round.
26:52Buzzer round.
26:58Azeem, I would like to request you.
27:00Yes.
27:01Please choose.
27:03Ask who wants to play in your team.
27:04Please raise your hand.
27:05Please raise your hand.
27:06Wow. There are a lot of batsmen.
27:08Please come.
27:12Greetings.
27:12Greetings.
27:13Sir, what is your name?
27:14Javed Iqbal.
27:15What do you do?
27:16I work in LESCO.
27:18Okay. Good luck to you.
27:19Now, Arzu and Fatima.
27:20Okay, audience members.
27:22Who would like to play the buzzer game with me?
27:24Please raise your hand.
27:26You come. Blue shirt.
27:28Yes.
27:28Yes.
27:29Wow.
27:32Well done.
27:35Greetings.
27:36Greetings.
27:37What is your name?
27:38Noreen Riaz.
27:39Noreen Riaz.
27:40What does Noreen do?
27:41She studies.
27:42What does she study?
27:439th standard.
27:44Yes, Mr. Agha.
27:45Yes.
27:46Tell me, who would like to come?
27:48Who would like to play with Mr. Agha?
27:49With Mr. Agha.
27:51You come. Come to me.
27:53Wow.
27:54Wow.
28:00I am a young kid. I don't know how to play.
28:06Greetings, son.
28:07Greetings.
28:08What is your name?
28:09Faisal Ishaq.
28:10You are talking with a lot of confidence.
28:12What do you do?
28:14I study.
28:15What do you study?
28:17I study physics.
28:19Wow. Very good.
28:21Let's start with an easy question.
28:24What is it that talks a lot without speaking?
28:32Yes.
28:34A book.
28:35A book.
28:36A book.
28:37A book.
28:38Wow.
28:40Wow.
28:41Wow.
28:42Wow.
28:42That's great.
28:43My answer is not bad.
28:46Next question.
28:47Yes.
28:48Two brothers were born at the same time,
28:50on the same day,
28:53and died at the same time.
28:55One was 60 years old.
28:58One was 50 years old.
28:59How?
29:01Yes.
29:03The day was the same, but the years were different.
29:06The day was the same.
29:07Yes.
29:07The time was the same.
29:08But the years were different.
29:10One minute.
29:10Wow.
29:14Wait a second.
29:15Okay.
29:15Aren't you scared of the sound of the bell?
29:20I don't think he is that strong.
29:22He won't ring the bell again.
29:24I asked him why he wasn't ringing the bell.
29:27When he was about to ring the bell,
29:29he looked at me and said,
29:30the meter was broken.
29:32Okay.
29:32Next question.
29:34What is common between a monkey and a tree?
29:39Mr. Agha, you rang the bell first.
29:41I rang the bell?
29:42No, you rang the bell.
29:43Yes.
29:43I would have called the machine wrong.
29:47Yes.
29:48Faisal, think.
29:49What is common between a monkey and a tree?
29:51Please.
29:52I rang the bell.
29:54Five.
29:54He is getting hurt.
29:55Four.
29:56Three.
29:57Two.
29:59One.
30:00Okay.
30:01Both of you put your hands on the buzzer.
30:03If I say yes, you have to ring the bell.
30:04If I say no, you have to ring the bell.
30:05The one who loses will go out.
30:07The one who wins will answer.
30:08So...
30:10No.
30:11Oh, no.
30:13Come on.
30:14No.
30:16Yes.
30:17Mr. Agha, you rang the bell first.
30:19Ray.
30:21Ray.
30:21Monkey and tree.
30:23I said, Ray.
30:23Ray.
30:24Oh, no.
30:26He said, Ray.
30:27He said, Ray.
30:29Vicky, you should have answered when I said monkey and tree.
30:34Take this.
30:37Vicky, this is your family.
30:39This is your family.
30:40The tree was far away and so was the monkey.
30:44Faisal, you are like my brother.
30:46I will give you a gold medal.
30:52Okay.
30:53The question is...
30:54A black cat is falling from the fourth floor.
30:57And there is a white cat downstairs.
31:00What can it say looking at it?
31:04Yes.
31:05A black cat is falling from the fourth floor.
31:09And it is looking at me and pulling out its teeth.
31:16Downstairs...
31:17Tell me. Tell me.
31:18There is a white cat downstairs.
31:21With open hair and a blue dupatta.
31:23Yes.
31:28And it is falling from upstairs.
31:30It is falling from upstairs.
31:31It is pulling out its teeth.
31:35It is looking at me.
31:39What can the white cat say looking at it?
31:41Don't fall on me.
31:42Wrong answer.
31:43It was heavy.
31:44Now I will say yes and no.
31:46Oh, no.
31:46The game has started.
31:47Come on.
31:48Yes.
31:49No.
31:50Yes.
31:51Go.
31:52Sir, give the right answer which Mr. Agha wanted.
31:55Because it was falling from upstairs.
31:59Right answer.
32:00Right answer.
32:00Brother.
32:01Come on.
32:02Yes.
32:05Very good.
32:06Very good.
32:09Mr. Agha, tell me.
32:11Will this cat stop me?
32:14Mr. Agha, don't get carried away by cats.
32:17No.
32:21Vicky had read a new suit for sir.
32:24How?
32:24But he got such a suit, he got stuck in the business.
32:28This is Mr. Agha's good idea.
32:30He has bought new gloves and there is no chance of getting fat.
32:37Okay.
32:38The question is.
32:39A man was born in Pakistan.
32:44He got a job in America.
32:45and died in Europe, what would you call him?
32:50You have to answer first.
32:51Oh, God.
32:53Dead.
32:55You are making a big deal out of this.
32:57He said dead.
32:58Who said it? Who said it?
32:59He said it.
33:00Dead.
33:01Yes, he said it.
33:04He said dead.
33:05No, he said it.
33:06For God's sake.
33:07Come here.
33:08Yes, brother.
33:09Come here.
33:10Me?
33:10Yes.
33:11Come here.
33:14And what is dead?
33:155, 2, 3, 4.
33:21Mr. Agha, come.
33:22The kids have made a big deal out of this.
33:26Okay, you have to do a helicopter step.
33:31No, sir. Don't do the step.
33:33Don't do it like this.
33:35There's a lot of water.
33:36Yes, this is good.
33:38This is good.
33:38Lie down upside down.
33:39Put your stomach down.
33:40And do this.
33:41There's a lot of water.
33:42A lot of water.
33:44Oh, God.
33:45Put your stomach down upside down.
33:48Upside down.
33:50There's a lot of water.
33:57Mr. Agha.
33:59Wait.
34:00What?
34:01I saw a frog.
34:04You saw a frog and not a snake.
34:09We'll do a yes or no.
34:10You'll do a yes or no.
34:12Oh, God.
34:13Yes.
34:15A dead body.
34:17He'll say a dead body.
34:18What else will he say?
34:19Noreen has won this round.
34:25Mr. Agha did that dead body when he came to America for a job.
34:30Sorry, this is for Noreen.
34:35Ladies and gentlemen, we'll take a short break.
34:37We'll meet again after the break.
34:38Oh, God. I can't find Agha.
34:40Put your stomach down upside down.
34:42I mean..
34:43Even if the light is dim, he'll say,
34:46Oh, Mr. Agha.
34:48I mean..
34:58Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
35:00Now, the segment is stand-up comedy.
35:06Wow.
35:07To do today's stand-up comedy
35:10we have none other than
35:13Mr. Danish.
35:20Danish..
35:24Thank you very much.
35:25Best of luck, Mr. Danish.
35:26Thank you very much.
35:27First of all, greetings to everyone.
35:29Greetings.
35:30I've been under pressure to do stand-up comedy for a long time.
35:33Since three years.
35:34Yes, since three years.
35:35Then I was working with Tal Mutol
35:37because I'm a comedian.
35:38Less than Tal and more than Mutol.
35:40Then one day, I saw a cricket match on TV
35:44of Pakistan.
35:44I saw coaches of Pakistan there.
35:46I was like, they are doing something too.
35:53So, let's start with the fact
35:55that Pakistan is the coaches of the cricket team.
35:58And the coaches of the Pakistani team
36:00are talking to each other.
36:02And they are writing something on the paper.
36:04They are working on the laptop too.
36:06The coach of Australia is writing something.
36:08I can understand that.
36:09But what is the Pakistani coach writing?
36:11What is he writing?
36:12He is playing a cricket game on the laptop.
36:16People are telling him that he is out.
36:18Oh, leave it.
36:19I'm here. I'll count 12 and hit 12 sixes.
36:25Okay, we get to know what the foreign coaches are writing.
36:28Before our players learn cricket from them
36:30our foreign coaches learn our culture.
36:32He knows that he is going to be out in two or three series.
36:35So, he is writing his resignation on that page.
36:39He has written his resignation and he is ready to go.
36:41He knows that he will be punished if he loses the series.
36:44And he will write the recipe of biryani too.
36:47Yes, exactly.
36:48Potato curry.
36:48Exactly.
36:49But our foreign coaches are not at fault.
36:52Our own cricketers are also like that.
36:55How?
36:55The coach is telling him.
36:57The coach is telling him.
36:58That you have a weakness.
37:00You keep it away from your body.
37:02That's why you are out.
37:03You have a weakness. Keep it away from your body.
37:05Keep it away from your body.
37:06You have a weakness. Keep it away from your body.
37:08He is explaining it to him.
37:09He is explaining it to him in a very good way.
37:11I have explained it to you.
37:12Now, you go inside and play.
37:13Batsman is wearing gloves.
37:15He is wearing a helmet.
37:16He has gone inside with a ball.
37:17The world is watching on TV.
37:19The commentary is going on.
37:20Fresh balls have come to the field.
37:23Sorry.
37:24My commentary is in Hindi. I will change it.
37:27And the ball goes out.
37:28The batsman takes out the ball and plays it.
37:30He is out.
37:33He has come inside again.
37:34Coach, this weakness is not going away from the talks.
37:37Is there any medicine?
37:42The physio has come from behind.
37:44This is the real Shilaji who has come out of the Himalayas.
37:48And the physio also knows that I don't have a job here.
37:53There is a lot of confusion.
37:54I don't have a job here.
37:55There is a lot of confusion about jobs in our country.
37:58So, our Pakistan is like this.
38:00It burns with confusion.
38:01I remember that people have made road signs in a very strange way.
38:05Not humans.
38:06So, when we climb the ring road, it is written there.
38:09Watch for water on road.
38:12Watch for water on road.
38:13Look at the water on the road.
38:15People are going on the car and looking here and there.
38:18I can't see the water.
38:19I don't know. It is written there.
38:20Watch for water on road.
38:22Many people have parked their cars on the side.
38:24I am a law abiding citizen.
38:25He is asking me to look at the water.
38:26I can't see the water.
38:28Where is the water?
38:29I will go if I see the water.
38:31Many people have parked their cars on the side.
38:33They think that the water will come out from somewhere like a dacoit.
38:35Take out whatever you have.
38:37Otherwise, I will make you wet.
38:40So, there is confusion like this.
38:41There is another road sign.
38:43Reduce speed when wet.
38:44What is this?
38:46A man is going on the car.
38:47He remembers how his lover left him.
38:51Tears in his eyes.
38:52I will slow down the car.
38:54My eyes have become wet.
38:57A wife is telling her husband in the other car.
39:00Darling, do something.
39:01Munna's diaper has become wet.
39:03He says that he will slow down the car.
39:04He has written reduce speed when wet.
39:08So, this is how it is.
39:09There is a lot of confusion.
39:11What is there to do?
39:13What is there to do when you see water?
39:15Watch for water on road.
39:16Write, drive carefully on wet road.
39:19Okay?
39:20So, confusion.
39:21This is confusion.
39:22People spend their entire life in confusion.
39:24Mr. Agha is a great man.
39:27And he is a brilliant cook.
39:29Brilliant cook.
39:29Last time when I went there,
39:30there was such a big bulb in his room.
39:32Such a big bulb.
39:33Okay.
39:33And there was so much light.
39:34You were also present there.
39:35So much light.
39:37And I sat right in front of him.
39:39I thought, so much light.
39:40It's time for me to write a book.
39:43I mean, if there is so much light,
39:46then a person will definitely go towards it.
39:48So, I was flying a little.
39:49The deceased picked it up and said,
39:50sir, this is not that light.
39:51Mr. Agha has put a bulb.
39:53I said, okay. Thank God.
39:55But I don't understand.
39:56What is such a big bulb?
39:58I mean, is there a problem in seeing Mr. Agha?
40:00I am not talking about the problem in seeing Mr. Agha.
40:03I am talking about the problem in seeing Mr. Agha.
40:06I mean, it's not that the light is less
40:08and it's gone.
40:08So, people say, Agha has gone to the mosque.
40:11Where did he go?
40:13I can't find Agha.
40:15He used to hide his chair.
40:16He doesn't take it.
40:17Even if the light is less,
40:20a person will definitely say,
40:21Mr. Agha, it's open.
40:23I mean, why is the light so bright?
40:25I don't understand why the light is so bright.
40:28Then suddenly, the door of the room opens
40:32and a man comes and says,
40:33Mr. Agha, I have come.
40:35So, Mr. Agha says,
40:36Vicky is staying with me these days.
40:43Then I understood everything.
40:45The first time when Vicky must have come to Mr. Agha
40:47with the light being less,
40:49he said, Mr. Agha, I have come.
40:51He said, I have been telling people all my life
40:54why I am in such a bad state.
40:59Then he said, no, no, Mr. Agha, I haven't come to take you.
41:01I have come to stay here.
41:03I will stay here.
41:04Then Mr. Agha said, you will stay with me.
41:06So, get me a big bulb.
41:10So, this was the story of that light.
41:12It's confusion. You get stuck in confusion.
41:13Confusion.
41:14Mr. Agha started his career
41:16with a very sacred business.
41:18People's clothing business.
41:20I consider it to be a very sacred business.
41:24All the initial customers of Mr. Agha
41:27were coming to Mr. Agha and fighting with him.
41:29Hey, you stitch my suit tightly.
41:31What have you done?
41:33So, Mr. Agha said, I don't stitch any tight suit.
41:35People are getting more angry.
41:36Mr. Agha has made and hanged his remaining clothes.
41:40And they are fighting.
41:41Hey, you stitch my suit tightly.
41:43So, Mr. Agha said, I don't stitch any tight suit.
41:44I don't stitch any tight suit.
41:46Mr. Agha's teacher came in the meanwhile.
41:48I asked him what happened.
41:49He said, Mr. Agha, I stitched the suit tightly.
41:53I asked him what he had done.
41:54He said, what have you made?
41:56He said, the remaining clothes were left.
41:58I said, okay.
41:59So, what did he say?
42:02He said, Mr. Agha, I stitched the suit tightly.
42:04Look at this.
42:05One, two, three, four, five, six, six meters.
42:10So, Mr. Agha said,
42:11your father stitched a suit which is 12 meters long.
42:16To make this suit,
42:18I had to sit near him with a lot of confidence.
42:21I asked him, Mr. Agha, how long is a suit's length?
42:27How did you know that I stitched it this way?
42:29I said, Mr. Agha, 6 meters.
42:30If it's a long suit, then 4 meters.
42:33So, I asked a person like me.
42:35He said, 6 meters.
42:36I said, Mr. Agha, make a 6 meter long suit.
42:39I said, okay.
42:41I didn't know what he was wearing.
42:44It happened after that.
42:46So, I asked the tailor, what should I do with the pyjamas?
42:49He said, there are no pyjamas.
42:51You can sell them on the river.
42:55Thank you very much, everyone.
43:03Viewers, this was today's show.
43:04We will meet you in the next show.
43:06Take care of yourselves.
43:07Goodbye.