It's functionally the same as the VS 7 but I gave it some barely noticeable upgrades. #shorts #youtubeshorts #parody #iphone #android #funny #comedy
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Introducing the iHorton BS...
00:04What number are we on?
00:06Eight.
00:07It's functionally the same as the BS-7,
00:09but I gave it some barely noticeable upgrades
00:11and put a different metal case on it.
00:13So now it costs $850.
00:16Rose gold.
00:18We made that one up.
00:19But I got my iHorton BS-7 just a couple of months ago
00:22and it's working fine.
00:22Oh, geez.
00:24One second.
00:25Just sent out an update.
00:27Oh, okay.
00:29Yeah, it's bad now.
00:31Glad to hear it.
00:37See, I can use anti-piracy laws
00:39to force updates on you
00:41that make your pocket box objectively worse.
00:43Oh, and if you want to sell it
00:45or give it to a family member,
00:47I can also lock your pocket box
00:49so it has no second life value,
00:50even though it's yours.
00:52And I will.
00:53I guarantee it.
00:54Wait, this doesn't make any sense.
00:56It says my memory is already full,
00:57but I basically just got it.
00:59That's because pocket box comes
01:01with a handful of stock apps you'll never use
01:03and which are impossible to delete.
01:05Oh, and if you don't update them regularly,
01:07they can cause the whole thing to freeze up.
01:10That's called built-in obsolescence
01:12and it comes with every box free of charge.
01:15That's my promise to you.
01:17Now, before I forget,
01:18I legally need to say that your pocket box
01:21may not be safe to keep in your pocket.
01:23Something about waves or exploding batteries.
01:25I don't have to be more specific than that,
01:27thanks to the neat little phrase,
01:29caveat emptor or buyer beware.
01:31It basically says we don't have to tell the truth
01:34because you should assume pocket box companies
01:37are going to lie a little right out of the gates.
01:39Anyway, the BS-8 is twice as fast,
01:42weighs negative pounds,
01:44and can repair your relationship with your father.
01:47Kind of trust me.
01:48Yes, sir, you may be thinking to yourself,
01:51where are these little gifts from the heavens created?
01:54Heaven?
01:55Close, warehouses.
01:57We find it's actually easier and cheaper
01:59to have workers make them for pennies
02:01and we put nets around the factory
02:03so they can't kill themselves in the middle of their shift.
02:05So you see, heaven has nothing to do with it.
02:08Enjoying your new iHorton, son?
02:10Yeah, I mean, it's got a bunch of obvious design flaws
02:13and my bill just went up for some reason,
02:15but I don't know, how do I look?
02:17Grand, and that's exactly why you need one.
02:21I'm not really selling you progress,
02:23I'm selling you the feeling
02:24of owning something new and cool.
02:27And can you really put a price on that?
02:29Well, I paid an installment, so it's actually more.
02:31I can't, that price is $850.
02:34Which is a lot, I agree, but if I charge you less,
02:37you don't seem to want to buy it.
02:38You seem to prefer things that are overpriced
02:41and it's frankly weird.
02:43The iHorton BS-8, oops, sorry, BS-8S now.
02:49It also takes phone calls, but you won't answer them.
02:52Okay, I've been Roger.