Dear Stef,
I need your help. I've been a long time listener and sought out therapy as soon as I turned 18. Between then and now I have made very limited progress chipping away at my armor and processing my childhood. I'm panicking at how long its taking when I want to cross the desert, meet a virtuous woman and maketh the babies.
I think biggest hurdle is that I'm quite split between my emotional and intellectual. I'm really strong on the intellectual side, identifying patterns, reasoning through healthy behavior, and making theoretical connections with my past. I've learned this alone doesn't work. With me, it doesn't touch my beliefs or really change how I feel or even open a door for me to explore or interact with that realm. I feel hopelessly broken.
To be more fair, I have occasionally made connections between these two worlds but only briefly a handful of times in therapy. That's not enough. I still have many dysfunctional behaviors from my near death experience called childhood. I had no bond, was not parenting and was constantly in danger of violence from my middle brother and abandonment from my sadistic mother.
I'm baffled that I can logically understand how bad I had it but still lag behind so much with my emotions and lack of empathy for myself. Typically in your call-in, once people understand, they connect. I am so fucking frustrated. No matter what I've tried with two therapists and journaling, I'm not touching it.
I am not without emotions, I can feel them strongly. I do try to suppress them until their intensity overpowers the suppression.
Talking about suppressing, I've been experiencing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome(self diagnosed) for the past 10 years. I've been to alternative, normal and specialist doctors and ruled out all kinds of illnesses, infections and deficiencies. I'm left with a "*shrug*, we don't know what's wrong with you". I have a working hypothesis that it's mental with physiological effects. I both overuse my fight-or-flight and ignore/suppress the feedback of my body. I just keep pushing through and at some point, my body has burnt out and has trouble repairing muscle damage. You are supposed to repair when you are safe...!
GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!
https://peacefulparenting.com/
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Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!
You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025
I need your help. I've been a long time listener and sought out therapy as soon as I turned 18. Between then and now I have made very limited progress chipping away at my armor and processing my childhood. I'm panicking at how long its taking when I want to cross the desert, meet a virtuous woman and maketh the babies.
I think biggest hurdle is that I'm quite split between my emotional and intellectual. I'm really strong on the intellectual side, identifying patterns, reasoning through healthy behavior, and making theoretical connections with my past. I've learned this alone doesn't work. With me, it doesn't touch my beliefs or really change how I feel or even open a door for me to explore or interact with that realm. I feel hopelessly broken.
To be more fair, I have occasionally made connections between these two worlds but only briefly a handful of times in therapy. That's not enough. I still have many dysfunctional behaviors from my near death experience called childhood. I had no bond, was not parenting and was constantly in danger of violence from my middle brother and abandonment from my sadistic mother.
I'm baffled that I can logically understand how bad I had it but still lag behind so much with my emotions and lack of empathy for myself. Typically in your call-in, once people understand, they connect. I am so fucking frustrated. No matter what I've tried with two therapists and journaling, I'm not touching it.
I am not without emotions, I can feel them strongly. I do try to suppress them until their intensity overpowers the suppression.
Talking about suppressing, I've been experiencing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome(self diagnosed) for the past 10 years. I've been to alternative, normal and specialist doctors and ruled out all kinds of illnesses, infections and deficiencies. I'm left with a "*shrug*, we don't know what's wrong with you". I have a working hypothesis that it's mental with physiological effects. I both overuse my fight-or-flight and ignore/suppress the feedback of my body. I just keep pushing through and at some point, my body has burnt out and has trouble repairing muscle damage. You are supposed to repair when you are safe...!
GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!
https://peacefulparenting.com/
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!
You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025
Category
📚
Learning