A drunk guy was arrested after breaking into a strangers house and Dave thinks the punishment was too harsh. The show then wonders what it would be like if Dave were to be a judge and lay down the law.
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00:00a man who last remembered being at a bachelor party then waking up inside a stranger's home
00:15in raisinville township michigan has just been arrested on burglary charges the suspect was
00:21drunk when he walked into their house and passed out on the floor the homeowners tried to awaken
00:26the stranger but he didn't respond the man had no intention of breaking into a house he was
00:31described as respectful and apologetic but yet they still arrested him well you still can i can
00:38apologize i can apologize you're obviously wasted you just trouble found you that night
00:44trouble found you no you gotta uh gotta pay for that b and e serious stuff still i know but drunken
00:53b and e drunken unaware b and e when everyone knows that's the case dave's rules are a little
00:59different drunken drunken shot somebody he's got an iron fist when you don't expect him to yeah he's
01:06just miscellaneous you jaywalk he kills you you get drunk and break into someone's home get out of
01:17here you rascal you never know when i'll lay down the law yeah he's just having a little fun it's a
01:22terrifying country to live in cave land yeah but it is shenanigans i mean yeah we should overlook it
01:30judge dave overruled be gone you crazy fool well just a little drunken up next jaywalk a death
01:40kill him don't cross the street you idiot you whore
01:45what a great judge show yeah you never know what's coming next judge dave judge dave today
01:53on judge dave a jaywalker sentenced to death guy breaks in i would just like try and get on there
02:00and just say that uh my wife cheated on me and then uh he could just kill her yeah he'd be like
02:05yeah poor no proof but i think you probably are oh yeah the judge dave show would be a fun show though
02:13it's this it's the element of surprise i think yeah you'd never figure out what judge dave was
02:19going to do next we don't know what he's going to do well the last three of the last five jaywalkers
02:24he killed in a surprise he let two live and just leave and you never know which dave's going to show
02:33up the jaywalkers they actually brought back the firing squad for him well that was one of them
02:39uh yet another one electrocuted and another one thrown in a well
02:43i just you know what driving downtown all the time the people that just cross the road
02:50and don't give a damn about cars and just assume you're gonna stop well i know i know judge dave
02:56ain't stopping yeah no judge dave is plowing right through you all rise for judge dave
03:01you whores better rise that whore didn't rise she's dead up your knees whore
03:08next time i hang out with you dave i'm gonna jaywalk just to mess with you
03:13damn it chase me down
03:18dave loves a citizen's arrest
03:25you think dave would citizen arrest somebody
03:28oh yeah he'd love to
03:31oh come on i won't take it that far
03:33i mean if i had the power to maybe
03:36the right set of cuffs
03:38it's a citizen's arrest
03:40jave's got cuffs on him at all times
03:42you never god damn know
03:45you never know when you're gonna encounter someone breaking the law
03:48some guy comes up to you and just cuffs you
03:51oh what the hell
03:52jaywalker
03:53those are for two things the bedroom and justice
03:58yeah it does burn my biscuits when someone jaywalks
04:00i bet it does
04:01that's his catchphrase
04:07yeah you know what that right there that burns my biscuits
04:10oh he burnt his biscuits again
04:16there's nothing like that for you guys that just kind of rubs you the wrong way
04:20no
04:20to kill someone like a man
04:24i'm not gonna kill someone for god's sake
04:26i hate line cutters
04:27line cutters
04:29oh you do hate a line cutter
04:30you
04:30you hate a line cutter
04:31i'm right there with you
04:32i don't like them either really
04:33it's just people who think they're above everyone else
04:36yeah like they don't have to play by the same rules
04:38well suck it
04:38yes you do
04:39judge dave said you do
04:40i don't like
04:41i don't like a movie talker
04:42no i hate a movie talker
04:45i hate a movie talker
04:45that's my whole family
04:46should be
04:47yeah just put them all down
04:48oh indians are movie talkers
04:50really
04:50they just don't understand
04:52talk it up huh
04:52they don't understand the boundaries of not talking
04:55oh
04:55never see a movie with an indian person
04:57okay
04:58more advice from judge dave
04:59okay
04:59that's good advice
05:01that's so true
05:03so you'd be
05:03you'd be like bailiff chuck
05:05and you just gotta be like
05:06he's like
05:06you gotta laugh at whatever he says
05:08yep
05:08kill him dave
05:10every once in a while
05:11he asks me
05:12yeah
05:13like just every once in a while
05:15he's like what do you think
05:15bailiff chuck
05:16kill him all dave
05:18jay walker
05:19just hang him
05:20more deaths than any other tv show
05:24it's judge dave
05:26you don't want to be in judge dave's court though
05:29oh my god
05:30you never know what's gonna happen
05:31throws the gavel at ya
05:32or just sets you free
05:34yeah
05:34I mean it's a real
05:35yeah
05:37you're drunk and you broke into a house
05:39get out of here
05:40yeah
05:40get crazy animal
05:42you jaywalk
05:43hits the gavel
05:44he's like that is hilarious
05:46yeah
05:48I honestly don't see that big deal
05:49he was apologetic
05:51and he was respectful
05:52and you know he was just drunk
05:54well the people's court theme took a chance
05:57yeah
05:57it's really weird
05:58it got real funky
05:59psychedelic
06:00it's like an acid trip at the end
06:03little steve millery
06:03oh yeah
06:05oh man
06:08no one's ever got this far in
06:11no
06:11this is judge dave high
06:13judge dave showed
06:15you'd get this far in it
06:17oh yeah
06:17sounds like the doors
06:18writers on the storm at the end
06:20this is the end
06:22that's it
06:23that's it
06:24dave's little friend
06:26guillotine
06:28guillotine
06:28guillotine
06:28Okay.