Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a massage parlor that a was busted for prostitution and the types of guys that have no choice but to visit the women who work there.
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00:00I'm beginning to think that 99% of massage parlors will jerk you off.
00:08I think so.
00:10Police have arrested two people.
00:12They're looking for one more involved in what they believe was a prostitution scheme
00:16at a Detroit area massage parlor in Macomb Township.
00:1961-year-old Q Liu was the owner.
00:23Q.
00:24And manager 52-year-old Lanjun Zhao.
00:29Zio.
00:30Zio.
00:30Have been charged with prostitution, a five-year felony, and using computers to commit a crime,
00:36a seven-year felony.
00:37Here's pictures.
00:38So close to home.
00:39I don't know who's who.
00:42That's fine.
00:43Okay, let me see.
00:44The owner is Q Liu, and the manager is Lanjun Zhao.
00:46So they're both about 60?
00:48One's a guy, though.
00:49One's a girl.
00:51The last thing I want is a 60-year-old Asian handjob.
00:58I'm sorry.
01:00It is.
01:00It's the last thing I want.
01:02There's your choices here today at this massage parlor.
01:04Who are you taking?
01:05You're taking the old Asian lady over the Asian dude.
01:06Well, I am, but I'm just saying I'm not going to that one.
01:10You know what I mean?
01:10This is what shocks us the most.
01:13Every time we do one of these stories, they're all old and ugly.
01:17It's not anyone you'd want jerking you off.
01:19Right.
01:19No, it's not.
01:21I don't understand how guys could be this desperate.
01:23I don't need a 60-year-old Asian lady to jerk me off.
01:26I don't.
01:27I'm not going to pay for it.
01:28No.
01:29No.
01:30There's a lot of people listening to this show that I'm sure have had ugly people jerk
01:33them off.
01:34Yeah.
01:35Well, almost everyone has, yeah.
01:37But I mean, and paid for it.
01:38Oh, okay.
01:39That's different.
01:40Because I believe there are people listening to this show that have used these services.
01:43Right?
01:44Oh.
01:45Yeah.
01:45Absolutely.
01:45Right?
01:46Yes.
01:47But I can't figure out why.
01:48Why would you let a 61-year-old nasty Asian girl touch you?
01:55Probably guys that no one else will do it.
01:57Right.
01:57That's what they, the only option they have.
01:59Oh, that is a tragedy.
02:00I don't know.
02:00I mean, that's what it's got to be, right?
02:02You know what?
02:02No one else is going to touch my dick on the planet?
02:04You know what?
02:05At least I think sometimes, like, obviously I think you're probably right, but I think
02:09there are some dudes that are just like, they're into just the weirdness of it or
02:15like the taboo nature of it.
02:18And that's why they do it.
02:21You know, they're the same, like, everyone knows the guy who like doesn't care at all about
02:25what the girl looks like.
02:26Right.
02:26You know what I mean?
02:27They're like, uh, they're out there.
02:29There's a lot of really disgusting guys out there, though, too.
02:32A hole's a hole.
02:32And every group of like five dudes, there's always like one guy that like by the end of
02:36the night, he'll take whatever.
02:37Yeah.
02:38But there's a lot of like really gross guys that can't get anything.
02:41Yeah.
02:41I mean, it's just, there's got to be.
02:43Yeah, you're right.
02:44That's the only explanation is that you can't find anyone else to touch your dong.
02:48So a 61-year-old Asian lady, you're going to pay to do it.
02:51Just think about some of the people you see throughout life, in your day-to-day life.
02:55I think about them getting jerked off.
02:56Think about them just making it easy to go have that done.
02:59It's not easy.
03:00Yeah.
03:00That is so true.
03:01That's a good point.
03:02You're out there just living life and you're looking around and you're like, nobody would
03:05jerk him off.
03:06I've never had that pop into my head before, but now it's going to.
03:09Yeah, now I will.
03:10We're going to play jerk off or not.
03:11Hey, look, guys.
03:13Guys, look over there.
03:14It's one of those dudes Lisa was talking about.
03:17No one would kiss him off.
03:19He's an unjerkable.
03:20They're out there.
03:21Yeah.
03:21He's an unjerkable.
03:23Unjerkable.
03:23It's a poor army.
03:24He's an unjerkable.
03:26Unjerkable.
03:26Now I want to play unjerkable.
03:28Let's play unjerkable.
03:32What a great game show.
03:35He's unjerkable.
03:36I mean, except for the contestants.
03:37Except for the contestants.
03:39But this is right.
03:40There are unjerkables lurking everywhere.
03:42I've seen so many.
03:43So, so many unjerkables.
03:45So many.
03:46The unjerkable.
03:48Unjerkables.
03:49You can play it at the airport.
03:51You can play it at the mall.
03:52Well, the airport's the best place to spot unjerkables.
03:55Unjerkables.
03:56Everybody needs to fly somewhere sometimes.
03:58Oh, man.
03:59And play the unjerkables.
04:00There you go.
04:01There's your good road trip game.
04:03Yeah.
04:04It is a good game.
04:06It's actually a fun game.
04:07It has the time.
04:07It is.
04:08It's a fun game.
04:09Get off your phone for a minute.
04:10The person who finds the most unjerkables wins.
04:12Well, and the thing is, I love the argument, too, of like, where someone's like, that person's
04:17unjerkable.
04:17And someone's like, wait a second.
04:19Yeah.
04:20Are you sure?
04:20I don't think so.
04:21I don't think that's a true.
04:23It's usually a clear-cut case.
04:24Yeah, I know.
04:25You're right.
04:25I know.
04:26There's no debate.
04:27Yeah.
04:27It's open or closed.
04:28Yeah.
04:29Right?
04:30Unjerkable.
04:30Right.
04:31You got it.
04:31I never have thought about that before, so next time I go to the grocery store or something,
04:35I'm going to be like, hmm.
04:37Look at that guy.
04:38Somebody.
04:39Nobody's going to jerk him off.
04:41And you know what?
04:42What a weird thing to think.
04:43What about going up to him and being like, hey.
04:46Unjerkable, huh?
04:47I know.
04:48Be honest with me.
04:48I'm trying to figure something out.
04:50Can you find anybody to jerk you off anywhere?
04:56Or are you completely unjerkable?
04:58It's all funny games when somebody comes up to you and says that.
05:01Oh, yeah.
05:02Hey, are you unjerkable?
05:03Hey, hey.
05:03I'm unjerkable.
05:06Unjerkable.
05:07Unjerkable.
05:09I've had many a jerk.
05:10Oh, man.
05:12Oh, God, Chuck.
05:13You'd be devastated if someone called you an unjerkable.
05:15Oh, it wouldn't shock me.
05:17It wouldn't shock me.
05:18Luckily, none of us are unjerkable.
05:20I feel like we're jerkable.
05:22Yeah, absolutely.
05:23We're unjerkable.
05:23Thank God.
05:23We can go out there and say we're jerkable.
05:25Thank goodness.
05:26No one involved with this show is unjerkable.
05:27That's right.
05:28That is right.
05:30Yeah.
05:30You should get that on a billboard.
05:31I feel like my stock just went up banks.
05:34Yeah, well, that's true.
05:36We're talking about the worst of the worst.
05:38You can't even imagine what their dicks look like.
05:40No, honestly.
05:41Think about unjerkable.
05:45It's terrible.
05:46I mean, it's bad.
05:47It's terrible.