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00:00:00The End
00:00:30Animal spiders creep and crawl, boys and ghouls having a ball, Frankenstein, Dracula, and even the mummy are sure to end up in somebody's mummy.
00:01:00Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools, and weeds, and add an old owl and the young one she breeds, mix in seven legs from an eight-legged beast, and then you're all set for a cannibal feast.
00:01:13Sit round a fire with this cup of brew, a fiend and a werewolf on each side of you.
00:01:33This cannibal orgy is strange to behold, and the maddest story ever told.
00:01:43The Mary's Syndrome, so called because it's only known occurrence, is among the descendants of one Ebenezer Mary.
00:02:04A progressive age regression, beginning about the tenth year and continuing steadily throughout the victim's lifetime.
00:02:10It is believed that eventually the victim of the Mary's Syndrome may even regress beyond the prenatal level, reverting to a pre-human condition of savagery and cannibalism.
00:02:24Many authorities do not accept the existence of the Mary's Syndrome.
00:02:32Incredible, but true.
00:02:36Nevertheless, I know, only too well.
00:02:42Of course, there's no Mary's Syndrome anymore.
00:02:45It was extinguished forever from the human race, that faithful day, ten years ago.
00:02:56Well, no, no, no.
00:02:56Go, no, no!
00:03:04I know, I know.
00:03:09I know you're the best friends for our children.
00:03:13I know.
00:03:14But no, yes, I know.
00:03:17I've been to forgive and hear, hey.
00:03:22I know!
00:03:23Can you tell me where the Mary House is?
00:03:36I said the Mary House!
00:03:42If there is any such place, we don't know anything about it.
00:03:47Come on, get it.
00:03:53Come on.
00:04:23Come on.
00:04:53Come on.
00:05:03Come on.
00:05:07Let's go.
00:05:37Let's go.
00:06:07Let's go.
00:06:37Let's go.
00:07:07Hello in there.
00:07:23Hello?
00:07:35Hello?
00:07:37I caught you.
00:07:47I caught you.
00:07:49I caught a big, fat bug right in my spiderweb.
00:07:57And now the spider gets to give the bug a big sting.
00:08:03Virginia!
00:08:19Virginia!
00:08:20Virginia!
00:08:22Virginia, are you crazy?
00:08:24Now look what you've done.
00:08:26You're bad.
00:08:28Bad.
00:08:29Bruno's going to hate you.
00:08:32Yeah.
00:08:33I'm not a good one.
00:08:36I'm not a good one.
00:08:38I'm not a good one.
00:08:40Yeah.
00:08:41I'm not a good one.
00:08:42You're right.
00:08:44Oh, my God.
00:09:14Oh, my God.
00:09:44Oh, my God.
00:10:14Oh, my God.
00:10:44Elizabeth, how many times have I told you it's not nice to hate?
00:10:53Oh.
00:10:55Oh.
00:10:58Oh, my God.
00:10:59Oh.
00:11:00Oh.
00:11:01Oh.
00:11:02Oh.
00:11:03Oh.
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00:11:48Oh.
00:11:49Oh.
00:11:50Oh.
00:11:51Oh.
00:11:52Ralph, we're home now.
00:11:55Ralph.
00:11:56Ralph.
00:11:57Ralph.
00:11:58Ralph.
00:11:59We're home now.
00:12:00Ralph.
00:12:13Ralph!
00:12:14Ralph!
00:12:22Ralph.
00:12:25Ralph.
00:12:26Ralph...
00:12:43Virginia, now you stay right there.
00:12:45Sit down.
00:12:46Sit down.
00:12:48You too, Alyssa.
00:12:52now children i want to tell you something and i want you to listen very very carefully
00:13:04you remember last time when those two children climbed over the wall
00:13:11and virginia almost caught them in her spider web
00:13:14well that got people to wondering about us and that's bad your daddy wouldn't like that virginia
00:13:23now i can't be here all the time you know that i have to take ralph into the city to the doctor
00:13:32once in a while and virginia you were supposed to mind your sister you were not supposed to play
00:13:40spider anymore now you never never can play spider again
00:13:45oh ralph what have you got there something that man had ralph give it to me that's it
00:13:55thank you
00:13:57this is from a lawyer
00:14:05yeah a lawyer
00:14:10what is it girl something bad isn't it
00:14:14how many times do i have to tell you just because something isn't good doesn't mean it's bad
00:14:20it must be something very bad nothing is very bad
00:14:29it isn't
00:14:30he's going to come here and bring other people
00:14:37daddy wouldn't like that
00:14:41what other people
00:14:42they want to make they want to become your legal guardian
00:14:50as the only other known surviving heirs of the estate of titus w mary
00:15:02isn't that daddy
00:15:03on the 14th of
00:15:08today's the 14th
00:15:14now children
00:15:17we've got to keep some secrets today
00:15:21and
00:15:40and
00:15:43Come on.
00:16:13Come on.
00:16:43What do you want that for?
00:17:04Hurry up.
00:17:05I want to watch Uncle Nick.
00:17:06You're not supposed to.
00:17:12Hey!
00:17:13Look out!
00:17:16I'm coming, Uncle Ned.
00:17:36I'm coming, Aunt Fleur.
00:17:49Aunt Martha.
00:17:51I'm coming, Uncle Ned.
00:17:53Really, Emily?
00:18:09I mean, I wish you'd kind of...
00:18:11Peter, if you don't like my driving, you may feel free to take a trolley.
00:18:15Now, wait just a minute.
00:18:16This was not my idea.
00:18:18I've never heard of the Mary family.
00:18:20What is that?
00:18:20They're our cousins, darling.
00:18:22It behooves us to meet them.
00:18:25All right.
00:18:26I mean, you know, all right.
00:18:27But remember that it was not my idea, okay?
00:18:30Of course not, darling.
00:18:32You don't have ideas, baby Peter, brother.
00:18:35What in the world makes you think this is the right road?
00:18:55It's got to be.
00:18:56It's got to be.
00:19:26I don't see any sign of, uh, what's his name?
00:19:29Uh, the Moyer.
00:19:32Obviously, he hasn't arrived as yet.
00:19:35The caretaker here probably went to meet him in a horse and buggy.
00:19:54Might as well go on up.
00:19:55They'll be along any minute.
00:19:57Why don't we, uh...
00:19:59What's the matter, Peter?
00:20:02Chicken?
00:20:03Well, I just don't think it's, you know, just right barging in on somebody that you're about to sue.
00:20:08Oh, just remember, we're trying to avoid that expense.
00:20:12If possible.
00:20:14Well, I'll leave that up to you.
00:20:17Oh, my God.
00:21:32What happened?
00:21:44You saw a ghost, right?
00:21:45Don't be funny.
00:21:47There was a...
00:21:47There was an awful...
00:21:49A baboon.
00:21:52Well, let's not have a complete double duck fit.
00:21:55I don't know.
00:22:25Uh, Mr. Stocker, I think it means that you open the window for me to be behind me.
00:22:49Hmm.
00:22:50Yes.
00:22:51What's going on here?
00:22:56Why have we stopped?
00:22:58They're blasting up ahead, sir.
00:23:00They're what?
00:23:01Blasting, sir, for the new highway.
00:23:06Hmm.
00:23:07Well, better wait it out, I suppose.
00:23:09Yes, sir.
00:23:10They won't be long, sir, Mr. Shocker.
00:23:14The name is Schlocker, Mr. Bruno.
00:23:17Oh, please, sir.
00:23:18Uh, Bruno.
00:23:19Just plain Bruno, sir.
00:23:21Oh, very well, Bruno.
00:23:23Uh, I want to tell you I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
00:23:28I wasn't expecting it, frankly.
00:23:31Cooperation, sir?
00:23:34Well, yes, uh, to tell you the truth, uh, I was fully prepared to avail myself of the
00:23:41services of a marshal, should it be necessary.
00:23:44Well, thanks to your cooperation, it isn't.
00:23:47Uh, I appreciate that, and I'll do my best to see that you're not forgotten.
00:23:52Forgotten, sir?
00:23:53I, I, I don't quite understand.
00:23:56Well, in the, uh, in the disposition of the estate, uh, I firmly believe that so many
00:24:02years of faithful service should not go unrewarded, no matter how ill-advised.
00:24:08Thank you, sir.
00:24:10Now, Bruno, I'd like to ask a few questions, if you don't mind.
00:24:15Very well, sir.
00:24:16Go ahead, sir.
00:24:18Now, it's my understanding that for the past several years you have been the sole, uh,
00:24:25custodian of the three children of the late Titus W. Mary, is that correct?
00:24:30As you say, sir, for some many years.
00:24:34And that these same three children have, uh, never been allowed the benefits of any sort
00:24:39of formal schooling?
00:24:40Oh, no, sir.
00:24:42The master wouldn't have allowed that.
00:24:44And, uh, professional medical care?
00:24:47Oh, on the contrary, sir.
00:24:49I assure you there have been regular and frequent visits.
00:24:52You mean they're not well?
00:24:53Well, uh, as well as could be expected, sir.
00:24:58You see, they're not, uh, ordinary children.
00:25:02Well, I'm sure we can all agree to that, Bruno, but nevertheless...
00:25:06You see, they're, uh, well, you might call them retarded.
00:25:10Retarded?
00:25:11Well, I should think so.
00:25:12Nearly full-grown and never a day of school.
00:25:15Well, sir, I-I don't think you understand, Mr. Shocker.
00:25:19I'm afraid you don't understand, my dear fellow.
00:25:22There are properly qualified institutions for the care of the, uh, the deprived.
00:25:28Especially when there are substantial estates to be administered.
00:25:32Uh, frankly, I find the whole affair rather shocking.
00:25:36I may add there are proper judicial remedies for such abuses.
00:25:51I don't think the master would like this.
00:25:56Come on, buddy, let's get this car out of here.
00:25:59Yes, sir.
00:26:21Ah, my dear Miss Hall.
00:26:23So nice to see you here.
00:26:26And the young Mr. Hall.
00:26:28Hi, Schlocker, how are you?
00:26:29Good to see you, my boy.
00:26:30P, this is my secretary, Miss Morris.
00:26:33Hi, Miss Morris.
00:26:34How do you do?
00:26:35Hi.
00:26:36Skip the rest of it, Schlocker.
00:26:38Let's go in and take a look at the place.
00:26:41Oh, yes, I-I've been away from the children too long already.
00:26:44Uh, uh, you just, uh, follow me and I'll show you where to park your machine.
00:26:49Uh, but if I may ask a favor, please.
00:26:52Uh, please treat the children tactfully.
00:26:55You see, they're not accustomed to, uh, strangers and they might act wild if, if encouraged.
00:27:02Now, ladies, this is your auntie Emily and your uncle Peter.
00:27:12Elizabeth.
00:27:13And Virginia.
00:27:15There's two pretty names for two sets of pretty young ladies.
00:27:19Uh, this is Miss, uh-
00:27:21Anne.
00:27:22Anne.
00:27:23Uh, Ralph, where's Ralph?
00:27:26Ralph!
00:27:27Ralph!
00:27:28Virginia!
00:27:29Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ah, he's all right, Emily. He's just a big kid.
00:27:56Yes, it's like you say, sir. He's just a big kid.
00:28:04Now, see here, Bruno. You don't seem to realize just how serious all this is.
00:28:10Now, these children are obviously in need of qualified professional care, wouldn't you say?
00:28:18Well, there's a great deal in what you say, sir.
00:28:21But I gave their father a solemn oath that I'd never allow their unfortunate malady to become the object of public scrutiny.
00:28:30Nonsense. The days when we hit our insane behind walls of shame went out with that old car of yours.
00:28:38They're talking about us, Virginia. I know.
00:28:42But, Mr. Shocker, an oath to a dying man, that can't be taken lightly.
00:28:47Now, Bruno, what do you mean by malady? I mean, well, I've seen backward kids, is it?
00:28:54Well, no, it's more than a retardation. It's sort of a regression, a progressive deterioration of the mental faculties, a rotting of the brain, so to speak.
00:29:07It begins in late childhood and progresses rapidly, ultimately resulting in physical deformity, rather like the last stages of paresis.
00:29:22Really that bad?
00:29:24Yes, sir. The Mary family, or at least this branch of them, have been afflicted for generations.
00:29:31And I'm sorry to say, sir, I think this is the last generation.
00:29:37What a shame.
00:29:39Bruno, you mean all three of these?
00:29:42Yes, sir.
00:29:44The unfortunate result of inbreeding.
00:29:49Never mind that now, Bruno. We can go into all that at the proper time.
00:29:54Let's see. Yes.
00:29:55I would like to know the whereabouts of certain other members of the Mary family.
00:30:00The, uh, two sisters of Titus W. Mary and brother named, I believe, Nedrick Mary.
00:30:08If alive.
00:30:11Alive?
00:30:12Well, you might say so, sir.
00:30:15Come on, Bruno, don't beat around the bush. Are they around or not?
00:30:20They're talking about Uncle Ned.
00:30:23I know.
00:30:23Well, it became necessary to put them in a, a, a more private sort of an institution.
00:30:31My good man.
00:30:32Are you saying that you, that the family chauffeur has been in sole charge of this entire estate and these minor children?
00:30:43Oh, I never thought of it that way, sir.
00:30:46You see, I, I promised the master that.
00:30:48Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know all about that.
00:30:50Listen, Schlocker, it's been a long trip. I'd like to get cleaned up and get off my feet for a while. We can go through this after dinner.
00:30:58Dinner?
00:30:58Yes, uh, it is dinner time. Matter of fact, Bruno, we intend to spend the night.
00:31:04Oh, no, sir. That's quite impossible. Why, why, we're not prepared for guests.
00:31:09There seems to be a difference of opinion as to who is the guest and who the host here.
00:31:18You do have food in the house, don't you?
00:31:22Why, yes. You see, our diet is very austere.
00:31:26I, I, I suppose we could find something.
00:31:32Yes. Yes, I, I suppose we could.
00:31:36Uh-huh.
00:31:47I smell a bug.
00:31:49A big, black, juicy.
00:32:00A big, black, juicy...
00:32:04I'm proud of you, Virginia.
00:32:34You're doing so well.
00:32:40Ralph is ready, Brino.
00:32:42Oh, thank you, Elizabeth. Bring him right down.
00:32:50My dear, there's no doubt in my mind that we have here an absolutely clear-cut prima facie open and shut case.
00:32:57Great. Now, all I want to know is what is it worth in dollars and cents?
00:33:02Well, that's a little difficult to tell at this juncture.
00:33:05Perhaps with an audit, Miss Morse, give me Schedule B.
00:33:09All right here, Mr. Schlager.
00:33:11Of course, this is only the visible part of the iceberg, so to speak.
00:33:15With more information, we can project the curve.
00:33:18Hey. Hi, Ralph.
00:33:21Everly, look at Ralph. He's getting all dressed up for us.
00:33:26Oh, yes. Isn't he cute?
00:33:29Well, at last. Thank you, Virginia.
00:33:44That was very good, Virginia.
00:33:46Can I feed Winifred now?
00:33:47Winifred? Oh, no, no. Not now. Can't she wait?
00:33:51If she gets hungry, she'll go looking for something to eat.
00:33:53Oh, in that case, you go right ahead. But hurry up. Hurry up.
00:33:56I will. I will. I will.
00:34:00Uh, hungry, Miss Morse?
00:34:02Oh, yes. I'm famished.
00:34:05Shall we then?
00:34:06She'll go looking for something to eat.
00:34:08Oh, in that case, you go right ahead.
00:34:11But hurry up, hurry up.
00:34:12I will, I will.
00:34:17Hungry, Miss Morris?
00:34:19Oh, yes.
00:34:20I'm famished.
00:34:22Shall we then?
00:34:24Well, there we are.
00:34:26Just sit wherever you like.
00:34:29We're not very formal here at Mary House.
00:34:33We haven't had guests in a long time.
00:34:35No, it's been a long, long time.
00:34:39I might add, it's a great pleasure.
00:34:45You can sit down now, Ralph.
00:34:47You can sit down now, Ralph.
00:34:50Winifred.
00:35:04Winifred.
00:35:20Barney, you came back.
00:35:24Naughty Winifred.
00:35:26You didn't tell me.
00:35:28Virginia, we're waiting for you.
00:35:46Sit in your chair, Virginia.
00:35:48Please.
00:35:58Warner!
00:36:03What is that?
00:36:07Well, that's rabbit.
00:36:09Obviously.
00:36:11Not bad, Bruno.
00:36:13Looks stunned to a turn.
00:36:14Thank you, sir.
00:36:15I hope you enjoy it.
00:36:18You know, we're very fortunate to have meat for our guests.
00:36:21You see, we're vegetarian.
00:36:23Vegetarians?
00:36:24It's dead.
00:36:25We don't eat dead things.
00:36:27But good lord, man.
00:36:30Why on her?
00:36:31The master.
00:36:32Don't say it.
00:36:33You made a promise.
00:36:34It was no idle whim, I assure you.
00:36:37The master knew of the grave danger.
00:36:40The danger?
00:36:41Yes, Bruno.
00:36:42What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:44Well, the master believed, and he should know, that the eating of flesh would hasten the progress of their condition.
00:36:52No, I've heard everything.
00:36:54Wait a minute, Bruno.
00:36:55You mean like that old story about the lion cub who's actually tame until he gets his first taste of fresh meat.
00:37:00Right?
00:37:01I'm afraid it's even more serious than that, sir.
00:37:07Well, whatever that is.
00:37:10A rabbit or whatever.
00:37:14I pass.
00:37:16Well, it looks good to me.
00:37:18Hey.
00:37:19Hey, I'll carve.
00:37:20What?
00:37:21Thank you, sir.
00:37:22Carry on.
00:37:23Oh, and I must tell you all, you have Ralph here to thank for providing us.
00:37:29Is that right?
00:37:30Good for you, Ralph.
00:37:31Hey.
00:37:35Well, uh, I'll have something else.
00:37:43What do you call these?
00:37:45Uh, a rare treat.
00:37:48Our favorite dish.
00:37:49We call it, uh, souffled fungi.
00:37:52What?
00:37:54Mushroom schlocker.
00:37:55Oh.
00:37:56Mushrooms.
00:37:57Yes.
00:37:58A real staple.
00:37:59They grow profusely on the grounds.
00:38:02And, uh, did Ralph?
00:38:05Oh, no, no.
00:38:07Virginia provided these.
00:38:09You see, she has an uncanny knack for picking only the, uh, non-poiled,
00:38:14non-poisonous one.
00:38:18Come on, schlocker.
00:38:19Let's not hog this stuff.
00:38:29Thank you, Uncle Peter.
00:38:33Thank you, Uncle Peter.
00:38:35Hey, schlocker.
00:38:36You certainly can't say they're not polite.
00:38:45Oh, Miss Howe.
00:38:46If you don't feel up to the heavy affair,
00:38:48perhaps you'd like to try some of our fresh garden green?
00:38:52Yeah, Emily.
00:38:53Here.
00:38:54Try the salad.
00:39:01Allow me.
00:39:02Oh.
00:39:06This thing isn't dressed.
00:39:16Isn't Ralph a vegetarian, too?
00:39:18Oh, yes.
00:39:19But Ralph's allowed to eat anything that he catches.
00:39:24Hello.
00:39:25Hello.
00:39:41Emily, this is very good.
00:39:43You don't know what you're missing.
00:39:45Well, as I told you, our diet is very austere.
00:39:49But it's most healthy.
00:39:50You know, that's great.
00:39:51I think everybody ought to eat like that.
00:39:53Oh, we have our delicacies, too.
00:39:55But they're not in season right now.
00:40:02Oh, no, no, sir.
00:40:04You wouldn't want any of that.
00:40:09Oh, no.
00:40:10I guess not.
00:40:13Yeah.
00:40:20What do you think about spending the night now?
00:40:29Emily?
00:40:31You couldn't drag me away, Peter.
00:40:34Good show, my dear.
00:40:35I'm with you.
00:40:36Oh, it's like I told you, sir.
00:40:38It's absolutely...
00:40:39There's nothing more to say, Bruno.
00:40:40Now, let's make things easy on yourself.
00:40:43We want to be fair.
00:40:46The sisters can move in together.
00:40:47And you and Ralph?
00:40:50Well, we might do that.
00:40:53Oh, no, no.
00:40:54It's quite impossible.
00:40:55It's too dangerous.
00:40:57You see, this is an old building.
00:41:01The wood is rotten.
00:41:03You'd have to know your way about in the dark.
00:41:06Nonsense.
00:41:08The next thing you'll tell us, it's haunted.
00:41:10Oh, no.
00:41:11Nothing like that.
00:41:13He means they're vampires.
00:41:14Oh, yes.
00:41:15And werewolves.
00:41:17Are you a horror film fan, Miss Morse?
00:41:19Oh, yes.
00:41:20I love it.
00:41:21Dracula.
00:41:22Frankenstein.
00:41:23And the mummy.
00:41:24Oh, the mummy.
00:41:25I love the mummy.
00:41:26The way he walks.
00:41:28Steps scrape.
00:41:30Steps scrape.
00:41:32Oh, and the wolf man.
00:41:35There's going to be a full moon tonight.
00:41:44Mr. Schlocker.
00:41:45I mean, if you don't need me anymore tonight, I could just as well stay in, down and...
00:41:53There's an inn in the village.
00:41:58uh mr schlocker i mean if you don't need me anymore tonight i could just as well stay in
00:42:09down there's an inn in the village and as i see it there are only two rooms anyway
00:42:15peter if you took the car do you think you could find lodgings for miss morris
00:42:20yeah i saw a motel coming in yeah fine fine good idea just be sure you have her back on time
00:42:28young man busy day ahead you know don't worry thank you mr how you're welcome
00:42:34children some of our guests are going to stay the night would you come help me prepare the rooms
00:42:42yes bruno
00:42:43spider
00:42:49got it
00:42:53eat spiders
00:42:56we have lots of spiders
00:43:00do you like spiders mr how oh sure virginia i love spiders
00:43:08would you like to play spider with me virginia sure i'll play spider with you maybe tomorrow
00:43:17i'm sorry mr how that we couldn't accommodate everyone but i'll be looking forward to seeing
00:43:23you tomorrow hey me too bruno thank you very much
00:43:27good night kids uh well miss uh morris we should be getting a new start i'd like that very much
00:43:35mr how
00:43:36this is the phoniest setup i've ever seen
00:43:53there is something terribly wrong here and i intend to find out exactly what it is
00:44:00there is something terribly wrong here and i intend to find out exactly what it is
00:44:05say it's uh still early miss morris perhaps you'd like to have a drink at that
00:44:16in in the village that uh bruno mentioned i'd like that very much mr how oh and maybe a sandwich
00:44:23if you don't mind
00:44:30virginia
00:44:37virginia
00:44:45are you going to give daddy good night
00:44:51elizabeth are you scared
00:44:55scared of what
00:44:57you know those people i hate you're not supposed to hate you should too they don't like spiders
00:45:08i know that little man looks just like a big fat butt doesn't he
00:45:22you know what i'd like to do
00:45:29you know what i'd like to do
00:45:32there's really lots of fun playing spider
00:45:35virginia
00:45:37you bet
00:45:39i'm coming to tuck you in daddy
00:46:00nighty night daddy
00:46:09the
00:46:10the
00:46:12the
00:46:20the
00:46:22the
00:46:23and
00:46:24the
00:46:26the
00:46:28eh
00:55:59I don't know what you people are up to here.
01:01:28I will, Bruno.
01:06:58,
01:10:58I like you.
01:11:28Thank you, pretty lady.
01:13:28Do you like me.
01:13:58They taste good.