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00:00Music
00:13Music
00:22This feels like a moment
00:33It should
00:34You're finally getting what you're owed
00:37Part of what I'm owed
00:38Still
00:41It's a start, isn't it?
00:45And it makes you realise what's important
00:47And what would that be, Confucius?
00:50And your kids
00:51Protecting their future
00:53Who knows
00:58Maybe one day it'll put a smile on Steph's face again
01:02That post it won't report in
01:09How hard is it to push some letters through a box?
01:12Anyone could swipe these and then they'd know
01:14All your business
01:15We've got an email from the hospital
01:19Looks like it could be to do with that job
01:22What was that about people wanting to know all your business?
01:25Well, I'm sister, so it's different
01:27Read it
01:29No need to look so worried
01:31Who said I was worried?
01:34Well, the big man not snapped you up
01:35Come on, I'm a saddo with no life, humour me
01:38Well
01:39Got the job
01:44And that's your happy face?
01:47It's just a job
01:48This calls for champagne
01:49Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
01:49What are you doing?
01:50It's barely nine o'clock in the morning
01:52Box fist then
01:53But we are celebrating
01:54Oh my
02:02Sarah, hi
02:07You enjoy any time off?
02:11Oh, um, yeah
02:12I, uh, it's bliss
02:15Not to have a day full of boils and bunions
02:18Look, I tried calling the surgery
02:19And they said you were on holiday
02:20So it doesn't matter
02:21Oh, no, no, no, nonsense
02:22Please, sit down
02:23What's happening?
02:26Um, so I've been doing some research
02:29About the chances of me having a baby
02:30And, um, well, when you said it's not impossible
02:33It got me thinking
02:35Right, uh, maybe I should have chosen my words a bit more carefully
02:39It's still extremely unlikely
02:42No, there's other people out there that have done it
02:44I've been reading all about them
02:45Do you remember when I was holding your hair back
02:48When you were being sick?
02:49Ah, memories
02:50Well, it kind of felt like we were getting back on track
02:55There's no getting about it
02:57Oh, good, good
02:58Because I have an awkward question I want to ask
03:01And I'm hoping that means you're not going to throw that plate in my head
03:03So, uh, well, I'm arranging a party
03:06For my mum
03:09Right, it's her 75th birthday
03:11Rona
03:11Please, all I'm asking is that you at least think about coming along
03:16It would mean the world to her and to me
03:19I appreciate the offer
03:21But I am nowhere near ready for that
03:23Okay
03:24Okay, yeah, sure, if that's how you feel
03:27Maybe next year?
03:29I've got cookies and pretzels
03:51Who knew Eric does pretzels?
03:53Celebrating
03:54Um, celebrating
03:56Your dad's birthday tomorrow
03:58Yeah, and?
04:01Well, go on
04:02Tell her
04:02The fact I'm no longer going to be, uh, Fox
04:06I'm changing my name by D-Paul
04:09From now on, I'm just Ruby Milligan
04:10Yeah, it's long overdue
04:11Um, can I grab my charger?
04:15Yeah, sure
04:15Hey, listen, I was, uh, I was thinking
04:19Maybe we could kick back and watch a film
04:21Your choice
04:22Oh, what?
04:24Don't you think I can stomach a chick flick?
04:27You might be able to
04:29Superb
04:29Return of the Jedi is then
04:31Look, I've got a lot on
04:33Yeah
04:35Yeah, I know you do
04:36And it's all up in here, innit?
04:40You know, you can talk to me, you know
04:42Dad, there's really no need
04:45Give me five minutes, that's all
04:46I've got a facial booked, okay?
04:49Thanks
04:49I'll see you later
04:51So, there's this woman, Beth
04:57She's 40 now
04:58And her son, Jamie, is 19
04:59And he's going to uni
05:00She was my age when she started IVF
05:03And everyone said to her, you know
05:04Oh, you couldn't do it
05:05She'd be dead by 40
05:06But she's not
05:07She's beating the odds
05:08Well, that's great
05:10And I'm really pleased for her
05:12But I don't know her medical history, Sarah
05:15Your cases may not be comparable
05:17And what cancer did Beth have?
05:19And what treatment?
05:20Did she have a bone marrow transplant like you?
05:22Could be coming at it from very different starting points
05:24Your ex might not even be viable
05:26Yeah, well, she's not the only one
05:27There's this other woman, Rain, in Texas
05:28She did the same
05:29And how much did that cost her?
05:31Well, she's not going to put that online, is she?
05:34IVF is prohibitively expensive
05:35Yeah, well, I can do it through the NHS
05:37If you were to write me a referral letter supporting me
05:39Yes, I could
05:40But given your circumstances
05:42I'd be very surprised if they'd fund it
05:44Right, so because I've got a medical condition
05:46I get discriminated against
05:47Nice
05:47No, I don't think
05:48Look, I've got every right to have a child
05:50Yes, you absolutely do
05:52And I would wholeheartedly support you
05:54But
05:54It would be pointless
05:55Right, so
05:58The only way I can have a child is by going private
06:01Sarah, listen
06:04Even if you were a suitable candidate
06:07There are no guarantees
06:08A typical cycle starts at £5,000
06:12And that's not factoring in medications and scans
06:16And you could have cycle after cycle
06:18It could take months, years even
06:20Yeah, or I could get pregnant straight away
06:21She's raw
06:24Maybe it's the name change
06:25Well, I thought she'd be pleased about that
06:28Yeah
06:29I suppose I just wanted her to feel like we're moving on
06:33You know
06:33Well
06:35Scrubbing that man's name out of our lives is
06:38Minuscule
06:39None of this is a quick fix
06:42Believe me, I know
06:42I don't know
06:43One minute we're close
06:45And the next she's pulling away
06:46Yeah, because she's drowning in trauma
06:50Do you think I didn't do the same?
06:53There was this
06:55Teacher at school was always asking me
06:59Is everything alright at home?
07:02Do you want to talk?
07:04I couldn't think of anything worse
07:05That meant saying those words out loud
07:07Which meant
07:07Acknowledging this was really happening
07:10So no, she doesn't want to talk
07:12Right, so what do we do?
07:15Do we just leave her to it?
07:16Let her keep going over and over it inside her head?
07:19I said she doesn't want to talk
07:20What she needs is a whole different thing
07:21She needs therapy
07:22A professional
07:23That's the one thing we can't risk
07:25Do you know what?
07:28I would give it all up
07:29The land, the depot
07:31Everything if I
07:32I'd just have my little girl back
07:35I know you would
07:36Maybe I'm being too negative
07:39Maybe she's nothing like me
07:40And she just
07:41Needs some time to process things
07:43And how have you been since our last meeting?
07:46Yeah
07:46Good, thanks
07:47Apart from the traffic getting here
07:49Oh, it's a nightmare, isn't it?
07:52And you received all the documents we sent through?
07:54Yeah, they were all really helpful, thanks
07:56Well, people's expectations around nose jobs can be a little high
08:00As we say, that's why we send that out
08:01To make sure everything is absolutely clear
08:04So I presume you're still keen to proceed with the rhinoplasty?
08:07Well, it certainly answered all my questions
08:09Good
08:10And if we can just go back over your psychological assessments
08:13Oh, I thought we already did that
08:16I'd just like to revisit some questions
08:19Yes, well
08:21Like I said before
08:23The vault lies with your chemist
08:25Not with a...
08:26You can't do that
08:34I've been crossing my legs for the last hour
08:36It's good job Dr. Cavanagh asked me back then
08:39Knew he would
08:40Liam, what lovely cologne
08:47Oh, thank you very much
08:49You're early
08:50Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping
08:53Right, yes
08:54I'm handing my notice in
08:57Oh
08:58Erm
08:59I see
09:00Is there anything I can do to make you reconsider?
09:04Not really
09:04Got the job at the hospital
09:05Right, excellent
09:07Excellent, well
09:07Congratulations
09:09Yeah, well
09:10At least I won't have old man Finnegan screaming down the phone at me there
09:12You won't get away with that on my watch
09:15Look, John
09:16I appreciate how frustrating this must be
09:18Man of your talents, stationed on reception
09:19I should say it's not really where my skills lie
09:21Of course
09:22You are a man of action
09:23The cut and thrust of emergency meds
09:26Perils of life and death
09:28It's hardly any wonder
09:28Oh, what are fingers?
09:31Great, great, great
09:32Brilliant, now reception is full of soil
09:34Don't worry, I'll clear it up
09:36Where's your dust pad?
09:37We haven't got one
09:38You don't have a dust pad?
09:39I don't know, there might be one in the back
09:40Ian?
09:42Hey, hey, hey
09:42You okay?
09:44I compare aspects of my appearance to others
09:50Yeah, sometimes
09:52At times I think I am no good at all
09:55Disagree
09:57I spend more than one hour a day thinking about my appearance
10:02Disagree
10:02I replay painful events over and over in my mind
10:07Until I am overwhelmed
10:08I strongly disagree
10:11Sorry, how many more of these are there?
10:14That was the last
10:15You okay?
10:16It's clear you found some of those questions distressing
10:22If there's anything else you need to tell me
10:25If there's anything you want to discuss
10:27That you'd understand
10:33Try me
10:34Look, I see all kinds of patients
10:38I hear all kinds of stories
10:40I promise
10:41I won't be shocked
10:42And I won't judge
10:45Maybe I do need to tell someone
10:55I can't keep it inside any longer
11:00In, two, three
11:23Out, two, three
11:29You're safe
11:32No one's coming in here
11:34I'm going to stay with you
11:35As long as you want
11:36Okay?
11:38Yeah
11:39Now, in a minute
11:43I'm going to ask you to look around the room
11:46And focus on three objects
11:48Then
11:48We're going to focus on three sounds
11:51And finally move three body parts
11:53This is going to help ground you
11:55Okay?
11:57Is that
11:58Is that
11:59Is that the first one?
12:02Right
12:02Well, why don't
12:03Why don't you just
12:04Hold on to that
12:05Okay?
12:07You focus on her
12:10And just breathe
12:12Good
12:14Just keep breathing
12:16What went on that night
12:19It was, um, horrific
12:21Um, I've not told anyone
12:24I've just bottled it up
12:26Uh, no one else knows
12:27Apart from
12:28You and, um, everyone else involved
12:32And how many were involved, exactly?
12:35Six
12:36Well
12:36I can see why you're so traumatised
12:39Yeah
12:40The tears, they are, uh
12:42Meant to be a release
12:44But
12:45This, it just
12:47Keeps going round and round
12:49There's
12:49Never an escape
12:51And every time I look
12:52Look in the mirror
12:53It's just a
12:54Constant reminder of
12:55Of everything
12:56That happened
12:57And I just
12:58I
12:58I need this
13:00Just to go back to the start
13:03This period of bullying
13:05You say it started at boarding school
13:07And it was
13:08Solely focused on your nose
13:09Yeah
13:10The taunts
13:11They were practically every day
13:12Well, it must have been extremely hard
13:14Yeah, it was
13:15My concern is
13:17In many cases like yours
13:19A patient may have a
13:20Noticeably unusual appearance
13:23Clef palate, for example
13:25And conditions that may result in
13:28Further incidents of bullying
13:30In those cases
13:31Surgery can make a huge difference
13:33And what, mine won't
13:34Well, in surgical terms
13:36Your nose is
13:37Unremarkable
13:38I can change its appearance
13:41It wasn't, let's do it
13:42Surgery won't rectify the trauma
13:44You've already suffered
13:45What, and you think
13:45I don't already know that
13:46I'm not stupid
13:47Sorry
13:48Look, I know you're just trying to be diligent
13:53And do your job
13:54But
13:55At least when I look in the mirror
13:58I
13:58Won't have to be reminded
14:00Of everything that happened
14:02I mean, isn't that
14:03Good enough reason
14:04I promise
14:06I am not some screw-up
14:07I know this isn't a magic wand
14:08And you're not considering
14:11Any further procedures
14:12No, this is just one blot
14:14On the landscape
14:15One thing I don't like about myself
14:17I mean, come on
14:18You must have thousands of patients like me
14:20I do
14:21It's just important to manage
14:22A patient's expectations
14:24In terms of aftercare
14:29You have
14:31Family
14:32Friends
14:32Who can take care of you
14:33Yeah
14:34Sure, they're amazing
14:35And you will need to be
14:36Knilled by mouth
14:37For six hours
14:38Before the procedure
14:38And I suggest
14:40Leaving early
14:40Given the road works
14:42Does that mean
14:43We're good to go
14:45I'll see you tomorrow
14:46You have to be a plant pot
14:49I mean, what sort of a man
14:52Kind of a doctor
14:54Jumps out of his skin
14:55One who's been
14:56Randomly attacked
14:57One who's
14:59Probably suffering from PTSD
15:01I've seen some of the hardest nuts
15:05In the army
15:05Reduced to quivering wrecks
15:07All it takes is the sound
15:08Of a car backfiring
15:09Sometimes not even that
15:11You've, uh
15:13You'd better send
15:14Mrs. Reynolds in
15:14Why don't you let me
15:15Deal with her
15:16Please
15:17Take five
15:19Get yourself back on track
15:22Wow
15:38Must have been some facial
15:40That
15:41Oh, I actually just called up with
15:42Rie
15:43She's in town
15:43Rie from Capri
15:45You're a poet
15:46And you don't know it, Mum
15:47She, uh
15:50She's still in the reppie
15:51Yes, and loving it
15:52She actually wants me
15:53To go out and stay with her
15:54That'd be good
15:55Yes, it would
15:56Which is why I'm flying out there
15:58All right
15:59Flying out when?
16:00Tomorrow lunchtime
16:00So I should probably get packed
16:01Wow, well that's, uh
16:02That's a bit
16:03Sudden, isn't it?
16:04It's your dad's birthday tomorrow
16:06We were gonna
16:06You just said
16:07It will do me good
16:08That's not quite what I meant
16:10Yeah, do you think it's a good idea?
16:11I mean
16:11Do you really wanna be out there
16:13On your own right now?
16:14Well, I'm not gonna be on my own
16:15I'll be with Rie
16:16No, if she's working
16:17And what?
16:17I'm spilling all our family secrets
16:19To the locals
16:20How many times?
16:21Not gonna happen
16:22You were amazing
16:24I don't know what I would've done without you
16:27No, it was nothing
16:28No, what I said earlier
16:29If there's anything I can do
16:31To make you reconsider
16:32Well, they cut out for being
16:33Some glorified receptionist
16:35I quite agree
16:36Which is why
16:37I've offered the position permanently
16:39To Claudette
16:40I have to make a few cuts
16:42But
16:43It means that
16:44You can get on
16:45With the job
16:46That you're supposed to do
16:48Please
16:49We need you
16:52I need you
16:53Not too proud to beg
16:55Let's see how we get on
16:58Is that a guess?
16:59For now
16:59Good man
17:00You won't regret it
17:01I'll catch you later
17:02I don't think this has gone on for long enough
17:05You're 34 now
17:06You're not a kid
17:07We always knew it was a long shot, Mum
17:10I'm sorry
17:11That's okay
17:12Did your best
17:13So what did she say?
17:16Pretty much everything I expected
17:18That it's highly unlikely I'll get pregnant
17:20And she'd strongly advise against it
17:21Oh, love
17:22Yeah, but then again
17:23She has to say that
17:24And I know how hard it's gonna be
17:25But even she had to admit
17:27I've got a real chance with IVF
17:28And that's all I needed to hear, really
17:30But if she's saying she'd advise against it
17:33Then surely...
17:33Look, look, I need to get some more information
17:35And I'll speak to someone who deals with fertility
17:37Because, you know, Manpreet's great and all
17:38But she's not a specialist
17:39And if you hear the same from them?
17:42At least I can make an informed decision
17:43Right
17:46Okay, well, why don't we look for one together
17:48And then we can show charity
17:50Oh, yeah, great idea
17:51She's your gran
17:52She needs to know
17:53Yeah, and sure, she will when I'm ready
17:55But if you bring her into this now
17:56She'll tell me exactly what I'm thinking
17:57Before I even know myself
17:58But you can't put off the inevitable
18:00What, like you making it with Mary?
18:02Never had you down a zipper grip
18:04Fine
18:05I won't say anything
18:07For now
18:08Right, go on
18:09Get searching
18:10I'll get the drinks in
18:11Oh, I'll, um
18:14I'll get Chas
18:14Erm, this party
18:16If you still want me there
18:18I'll be there
18:20Seriously?
18:23You don't know how much that means
18:24But you were so...
18:25Yeah, well
18:26Sometimes you just need to accept the facts
18:28Susie didn't want me
18:31So whatever you and her had together
18:33Is totally relevant
18:34Nurse
18:36If it's any comfort
18:37No, please
18:38Please, I
18:39I don't want to talk about this anymore
18:40And I don't want either of you bringing it up again
18:42Because it'll just unpick what's in my mind
18:44And I can't go there
18:45So can we just, er
18:46Just leave it and move on
18:48An amazing opportunity like that
18:51And you want to turn it down
18:52Well, the surgery's closer to home
18:54And I'm happy there
18:57Happy?
18:58After the way you've been treated?
18:59I told you, Liam apologised
19:01Things are going to be different
19:02Well, I think you're mad
19:03But, whatever makes you happy, I guess
19:06Ta
19:06So much for my celebratory roast
19:09I could still come round for dinner
19:10Six o'clock
19:12Don't be late
19:13Hey, do you, erm
19:23Mind if I swing by tomorrow
19:25My clutch is slipping?
19:27Not surprised by the way you drive
19:28I don't suppose you got through to him
19:31Nate, I, erm
19:35Heard you leaving him a message
19:36Sorry
19:38None of my business
19:39Yeah, you got that right
19:41Only, er
19:41Well, Tracy was
19:43Kind of at a loss yesterday
19:45I was worried
19:46No, I'm not trying to stick my nose in
19:50But I had a friend do this
19:51Just upped and left
19:53Cut off all of his mates
19:55His mum and dad
19:56Not that they were much cop
19:57But
19:57I saw how it destroyed them
20:00Every day
20:01Wishing
20:02Hoping
20:03Desperate
20:04For that call
20:05Only it never came
20:07Just wouldn't want the same to happen to Tracy
20:11Well, the night I know
20:12Wouldn't be this cruel
20:13And he certainly wouldn't abandon his daughter
20:15But if that's the man he is
20:17We're all better off without him
20:20Cos I'm dumb
20:21Hey, what's what I'm having with that lot?
20:37Look, I'm sorry
20:41I don't mean to smother you
20:43I'm overcompensating
20:47Cos I know I let you down
20:47And
20:49Look, I know that I can trust you not to say anything
20:53I know you're not some
20:54Little girl
20:56Dad, I will always be your little girl
20:59And you never let me down
21:00If you really want to help
21:03I, uh, still need that suitcase
21:06Morning
21:08Uh, excuse me
21:11No bigging birthday, boy
21:12You'll get your present tomorrow
21:13Hello?
21:30Oh, yeah, hi
21:34Um
21:34Yeah, I was just wondering
21:35If I could book a consultation
21:37Um
21:37I'm kind of
21:38Out of action for the next few weeks, though
21:40Yeah, yeah, sure
21:43It's, uh
21:43It's for a brow lift