Frasier Season 2 Episode 1 Slow Tango In Sou Th Seattle
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00:00Hello, Steven. I'm listening.
00:05Well, you see, Dr. Crane, my wife Tracy and I are having a baby,
00:08and I know we're getting a little ahead of ourselves,
00:10but there seems to be a lot of different advice
00:12about whether it's okay to let your kid climb into bed with you in the morning.
00:17Stop right there, Steven.
00:19It's okay.
00:21All relationships require that kind of close and undivided attention.
00:25Isn't that so, Roz?
00:27Uh-huh.
00:30But what if you and your wife enjoy, you know, making love in the morning?
00:35Oh, trust me.
00:37After the baby comes, that won't be an issue anymore.
00:43This is Dr. Frasier Crane on KACL.
00:46We'll be back after these messages.
00:50Roz, how can you be reading now?
00:53Oh, I don't know.
00:53It's something I picked up in elementary school, and it's stuck.
00:57Just what is it that's so captivating?
01:01Slow tango in South Seattle.
01:03Oh, God, not you two.
01:04Why is it that every woman I see is carrying that book around?
01:07Because it's impossible to put down.
01:09Look, read the first paragraph.
01:11I guarantee you'll be hooked.
01:13There are tangos that come flowing from the wine-colored sea,
01:22from the rust of a hundred sunken ships.
01:26This is one of those dances.
01:31Well?
01:33There are books that make your stomach rumble,
01:38and lurch and thrust your lunch ever upward.
01:43This is one of those books.
01:50You men are all a liar.
01:52You have no soul.
01:54Oh.
01:54Except for this one.
01:55The future Mr. Roz Doyle, Thomas J. Fallow.
01:59Oh, my God, it's him.
02:01What, do you know him?
02:02Yes.
02:04Yes, he used to drop into a neighborhood bar I frequented back in Boston.
02:08He's a bit pretentious, though.
02:09He's stuck out like a sore thumb.
02:11You used to drink with Thomas J. Fallow?
02:17Well, actually, I spent most of my time helping him get through his writer's block.
02:23In the future, I'll remember to use my powers for good and not for evil.
02:28Well, I don't care what you think about him.
02:31He's coming here to the station tomorrow to be on Amber Edwards' book chat,
02:35and you're going to introduce him.
02:36Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I can't see him.
02:38I'd like to tell him how much I like this book.
02:39You know how hard it is to lie to someone's face?
02:43Oh, no, it's easy for someone as bright and charming and articulate as you.
02:49Well, perhaps you're right.
02:54See how easy it is?
02:55It's night.
03:08Stop it, Eddie.
03:09Oh, he just wants to play, huh, boy?
03:12Yeah, well, therapy is not a game.
03:15Stop it.
03:16Stop it, I said.
03:19If he keeps this up, there's no point in us going on with these exercises.
03:23Attaboy!
03:28Hello, Dr. Crane.
03:29Hello, Daphne.
03:30Hey, Niles.
03:31Oh, doing your exercises, I see.
03:34Yes, and if someone doesn't let us get on with them,
03:37he's going to get a little spank on his family.
03:39Don't, don't, don't let me, unless you want to.
03:57What's up?
04:01Oh, well, when I brought you a beer in your room the other day,
04:05I couldn't help but notice that you had pictures of Frasier and Frederick
04:09and an autographed one from someone named Ken Griffey, Jr., but...
04:14None of Maris and me, so I brought you this.
04:19Oh, gee, thanks.
04:22How is Maris doing wearing jodhpurs?
04:24She hasn't taken up horseback riding, has she?
04:26No, no, she wanted to, but unfortunately,
04:29her little quadriceps are so tight,
04:31she's incapable of straddling anything larger than a border collie.
04:34I can't believe this.
04:45I simply cannot believe it.
04:46What are you happening about this, this book?
04:51It was written by a man I knew.
04:53He's taken an incident from my own life,
04:55something I shared with him in confidence one night,
04:57and he's turned it into this, this trash.
05:00Slow Tango.
05:01Well, I just started reading that.
05:04You mean to tell me that young man is based on you, Dr. Crane?
05:09Yes, he is.
05:11But did Thomas J. Fellow have the grace to thank me?
05:13No!
05:14My name isn't even listed in his acknowledgements.
05:17What's it about, anyway?
05:19That is not important.
05:20It's about his first time.
05:25Thank you, Daphne.
05:27Your first time doing what?
05:34Changing a flat tire.
05:37Oh.
05:39So this whole book's about the night you can see Frederick.
05:45Very amusing, Dad.
05:47I'm happy to know that was not my first time.
05:49Hey, I'm happy to know it wasn't your only time.
05:52Just who was this charitable lass?
05:59That is not important.
06:01His piano teacher.
06:03His piano teacher?
06:04Thank you again, Daphne.
06:07Well, it's not like it's a secret.
06:10I mean, it's all right there in black and white.
06:12about your awkward teenage lunging
06:15and how you used to call your chest hair
06:18your rug of love.
06:22Well, not all of it's true.
06:24He did take some literary license.
06:26Oh, then you're not really able to bring a woman
06:29to hidden realms of ecstasy
06:31with your pamphlet-like prowess.
06:34Well, that party got right.
06:36Boy, this really fries me.
06:41You know, that woman taking advantage of my kid.
06:44Not to mention, I was putting out
06:45ten bucks a week for piano lessons
06:47so you could get your head trimmed.
06:52Wait a minute.
06:54We're not talking about Miss Warner.
06:57Don't tell me this was going under
06:58in your lessons, too.
07:01No, you'll be relieved to know
07:02that while Frazier was getting his Rachmaninoffs,
07:04I was actually studying music.
07:08Now, look.
07:11This was not some tawdry older woman
07:13lusting after young flesh.
07:17Clarissa and I cared for each other.
07:20She showed me a world I'd never known.
07:25Wouldn't know again for six and a half years.
07:32No, it's true.
07:33As Mr. Fallow put it,
07:36she saw your sensitive, poetic side
07:39and you couldn't help noticing
07:41the way her rye, heaving bosom
07:44would brush your cheek
07:45when she reached for the metronome.
07:48How can a man who drank so heavily
07:49remember so much?
07:54And yet he still conveniently forgot
07:56who told him the story.
07:57Yes, well, he's going to get
07:58a little reminder today.
07:59No, no, give it to me!
08:03Give it to me!
08:04I won't give it!
08:05Give it to me!
08:07I bothered when you kissed me.
08:10I withered when you left me.
08:13I bloomed a few months
08:15while you loved me.
08:18Would you calm down?
08:20Not until I have exacted my pound of flesh.
08:23Could you at least wait
08:24until I get my book signed?
08:25Oh, well, here.
08:25Let me sign it for you.
08:26It's my story.
08:27It's my story.
08:28It's my story.
08:28It's my story.
08:28It's my story.
08:29Look, Ross.
08:30Ross, you haven't told anyone
08:32about this, have you?
08:33They'd have a field day with me.
08:35Frasier, give me credit
08:36for a little discretion, will you?
08:38Hey, piano boy!
08:41Way to pound those ivories!
08:47Hold on, hold on.
08:48Listen, I...
08:49It's the imperative
08:50that does not be commonly known.
08:52Hey, hey, Doc.
08:53It's no big deal.
08:57Anything for you?
08:58I still got some feeling
08:59on the other side of my head.
09:04Look, I had a similar experience
09:06when I was 16
09:07with an older woman
09:09who introduced me
09:10to the mysteries of love.
09:12Of course, she was a hooker.
09:15Hey, it was a birthday present
09:17from my dad, okay?
09:20You want to know
09:21the ironic thing, Doc?
09:23All I wanted was a bike.
09:32Oh, come on, Frasier.
09:34How could you expect me
09:35not to tell anybody?
09:36You can't keep something like that
09:37all bottled up.
09:39I only told one person.
09:41Hello, Frasier.
09:43Ross.
09:43Hi, Gail.
09:44Oh, I was just finishing
09:47my restaurant review
09:48for my show this afternoon.
09:50Well, I came up
09:51with the perfect sandwich
09:52named after you
09:53at Rosenthal's Dilly.
09:56Frasier Crane's Double Decker.
09:58It consists of aged pheasant,
10:00spring chicken,
10:01and, of course,
10:02plenty of tongue.
10:06I wept
10:08as our bodies
10:10made the music of love.
10:11I'm your rhapsody.
10:13I'm your rhapsody.
10:14Play me.
10:16Crescendo,
10:17my young maestro.
10:18Crescendo.
10:20My vessel yearns to dock
10:22in the magnificence
10:23of your harbor.
10:27Hey, that's not in the book.
10:31One thing I must ask you.
10:34What was your inspiration
10:36for this poignant love story?
10:39Oh, oh, quiet, quiet.
10:40It's his last chance.
10:42Well, Amber,
10:43it was actually given to me
10:45by God.
10:47By God?
10:49Do you believe
10:50this guy's brandy or sitting?
10:51I'm God,
10:53and he knows it.
10:54Well, we'll be right back
10:56with the divinely inspired
10:58Thomas J. Fallow
11:00right after this station break.
11:04Will you excuse me?
11:06I want to call my husband
11:07and see if he can take
11:09a long lunch.
11:16Thomas J. Fallow.
11:21Frasier.
11:23Frasier Crane.
11:25I can't believe it.
11:26Well, I see my name
11:27hasn't entirely escaped
11:29your sieve-like memory.
11:32Why would it?
11:33Well, it didn't make it
11:34into your list
11:35of acknowledgements,
11:36you egomaniacal thief.
11:39You read my book.
11:44I didn't have to read it.
11:45I lived it.
11:47Not that anybody
11:48would know that
11:48from reading your three pages
11:50of acknowledgements
11:51in which you mention
11:51everyone from your
11:52kindergarten teacher
11:53to the man who designed
11:54the typeface,
11:55but no mention of me, no.
11:56I'm only the man
11:58who gave you the story
11:58which you have ruthlessly
12:00merchandised into this
12:01million-dollar
12:02treacle machine.
12:07I'm finished now.
12:11I'm so sorry.
12:13I don't know how I
12:16could have been
12:17so thoughtless.
12:27I owe you everything!
12:28Oh, no, no, no.
12:32Oh, my God.
12:34Frasier,
12:34what did you do
12:36to the poor man?
12:37Frasier made him cry.
12:50Maris is reading
12:51Slow Tango in South Seattle.
12:53I think it's put
12:54thoughts in her head.
12:55This morning,
12:56I found her cooing
12:57over the college student
12:58who skims the koi pond.
12:59I wouldn't concern myself.
13:03So you think
13:03it's just innocent flirting?
13:06No,
13:07I just wouldn't
13:07concern myself.
13:14Hey,
13:15Frasier!
13:16Hi, Dad.
13:16Nice.
13:17Frasier,
13:17congratulations.
13:19Maris was listening
13:19to book chat
13:20during her seaweed rap
13:21and heard Thomas J.
13:23Fallow acknowledge
13:24his enormous debt to you.
13:25Yes.
13:27A little chat
13:28with him this afternoon.
13:29Did he seem
13:29properly contrite?
13:32I made him cry.
13:33That's my boy!
13:38You must be feeling
13:39pretty good, huh?
13:42Actually, Dad,
13:43the entire incident
13:44has left me
13:45strangely unsatisfied.
13:48I don't know.
13:49I still feel
13:49sort of empty.
13:51I don't know.
13:52I've been
13:52turning it around
13:53in my mind all day.
13:55God,
13:55you kill me,
13:56you know.
13:56you get exactly
13:58what you want
13:59and you're still
13:59not happy.
14:01Frasier,
14:02life is not hard.
14:04You make it hard.
14:05You don't just
14:06let things happen
14:07and enjoy it.
14:08You gotta analyze
14:09everything to death.
14:12You know,
14:12you could learn
14:12a big lesson
14:13from this dog here.
14:18You know
14:18what makes him happy?
14:20A sock.
14:23Come on, Eddie.
14:24Ignore him.
14:32Obviously,
14:32what's troubling you
14:33goes deeper
14:34than your usual
14:34malaise.
14:36Shame on you!
14:38What for?
14:39What for?
14:40You just ran out
14:41on her,
14:42leaving her bed
14:44as empty
14:44as a swallow's nest
14:46after fall's first frost
14:48and you ask me
14:49what for.
14:50I've just been
14:55accepted to Harvard.
14:57What else was I
14:57gonna do?
14:58Oh,
14:59so you just leave
15:00in the middle of the night
15:01without so much
15:01as a kiss
15:02on the forehead.
15:03You never said
15:05goodbye to Miss Warner?
15:06She was sleeping
15:07so peacefully.
15:10She had an early lesson.
15:15I left a rose
15:17on her pillow.
15:19Aha.
15:21Aha what?
15:22Aha this.
15:23I have a theory.
15:24Well,
15:25why else would you
15:25say aha?
15:27No, no, no.
15:29Just listen.
15:30You thought
15:30you were angry
15:31at Thomas Fallow
15:31for failing to thank you
15:33for the contribution
15:33you made to his life.
15:34But perhaps the person
15:36you're really angry at
15:37is yourself.
15:38You never thanked
15:39Miss Warner
15:40for the contribution
15:41she made to your life.
15:43I was only 17 years old.
15:46I'm sure she understood.
15:47Well,
15:48perhaps she didn't.
15:50She was a vulnerable,
15:51lonely,
15:52middle-aged woman.
15:53It is possible
15:54that her feelings
15:55for you ran deeper
15:56than you realized.
15:57Feelings which you
15:58crushed
15:59when you disappeared
16:00without so much
16:01as a thank you
16:02or a goodbye.
16:03Yes, well,
16:04thank you
16:05and goodbye.
16:12Fine.
16:13I'll just leave you
16:14with this thought.
16:15Your encounter
16:16with Thomas J. Fallow
16:17was unsatisfactory
16:18because it failed
16:19to provide you
16:20with the closure
16:20you were seeking.
16:21For that,
16:22you will have to make
16:23amends
16:23with Miss Warner.
16:25Aha.
16:26Aha.
16:26Aha.
16:26Aha.
16:26Aha.
16:27Aha.
16:27Aha.
16:27Aha.
16:28Aha.
16:28Aha.
16:28Aha.
16:29Aha.
16:30Aha.
16:30Aha.
16:30Aha.
16:31Aha.
16:31Aha.
16:32Aha.
16:32Aha.
16:32Aha.
16:33Aha.
16:34Aha.
16:37Very funny, dad.
16:39Aha.
16:39Aha.
16:39Aha.
16:40Aha.
16:40Aha.
16:41Aha.
16:41Aha.
16:41Aha.
16:44Aha.
16:44He had been
16:45a teenage balboa,
16:48an explorer
16:49of the rising
16:50pinnacles
16:51and gently
16:51curving slopes
16:53of my body.
16:54And in one
16:56explosive burst
16:57of discovery
16:58he had staked
16:59claim
16:59to the Pacific
17:00Ocean
17:01that was
17:01my soul.
17:02Aha.
17:02Aha.
17:02Aha.
17:03Aha.
17:03Aha.
17:03But now he was leaving, going, vanishing like a solitary boat on the lonely horizon, departing like a train rolling ceaselessly through the night, exiting swiftly like...
17:33And so he was gone.
17:54And now, in the cool of the evening, I play my piano, and his last words resonate through the notes.
18:03I'll come back to you, my cherished one.
18:09But he never did.
18:13And all that remains of him are the withered petals of the rose he left upon my pillow.
18:33Clarice, time, a subtle thief of youth.
19:00Clarice, time, a little thief.
19:16Hello.
19:18May I help you?
19:20Miss Warner?
19:22Yes?
19:22I, I'm Frasier Crane
19:27I'm sorry, my memory's not what it used to be
19:33But please come in
19:36Would you like to sit down?
19:40Yes, I would
19:41So, we know each other?
19:48Well, we were friends
19:52More than friends, actually
19:55You really don't remember?
19:58I'm trying
19:59You must have some recollection of
20:04Fair-haired boy outside your door
20:07At the piano
20:09On the piano
20:12No, I'm sorry
20:18Well, listen, before the memories come flooding back to you
20:24I should tell you that we, we had a romance
20:30That, uh, didn't have the happiest of endings
20:34Oh
20:35That's why I'm here
20:39Our last evening together, we walked through a summer storm
20:46And I
20:47Kissed the raindrops off your nose
20:51And promised that we'd always be together
20:55But I broke that promise
20:59You helped a
21:02A shy adolescent take his first uncertain steps toward becoming a man
21:06And how did I repay that kindness?
21:08By running off and leaving you with nothing but your memories
21:12And not many of those, either
21:15Can you ever forgive me?
21:21Oh, you're so sweet
21:23Of course, I can forgive you
21:25Thank you
21:26Thank you
21:28It's such a relief to get that off my chest
21:31Mother
21:32Mother, I'm going now
21:34You run along, Clarice
21:37Clarice?
21:40Oh
21:40Excuse me
21:42Dear
21:44This is
21:45Frasier Crane
21:47Apparently we were quite a night
21:50One
21:50Frasier Crane
21:57What are you doing here?
22:01Obviously making an enormous mistake
22:03Mother, would you get us some iced tea, please?
22:13She's getting rid of me, but I'll be back
22:15My God
22:24I can't believe you're here
22:27I mean, it's got to be 20
22:3025
22:3125 years
22:35And look at you
22:39Look at you?
22:41You look incredible
22:42Well, sure, compared to my mother
22:45That's not what I mean
22:52You look
22:55Stunning
22:57Well, thank you
23:00Well, and you
23:02You've become a very handsome man
23:07And successful, too
23:10Thank you
23:12You're here because of that book, aren't you?
23:22Yes
23:23And I'd like to apologize right off
23:26I told that story to Mr. Fallow in confidence
23:32It was never meant to be in print
23:34There's no need to apologize
23:37That was a
23:39A lovely time in my life
23:43It was nice to relive it
23:47So
23:56Are you married?
24:01Divorced
24:02You?
24:04I never married
24:05I came here to apologize about more than just the book
24:12I never felt quite right about the way I left things
24:18I abandoned you
24:21It was
24:22Selfish and cowardly
24:25Oh, Frasier
24:27Relax
24:29I always felt guilty for shortchanging you on your music lessons
24:35Do you still keep it up?
24:48Well, the piano
24:50Yes
24:50Gee, yeah, you know
24:56I was so nervous about coming here
24:59You know, it feels like old times
25:01Sit at middle C
25:06Then
25:09The metronome
25:11All right, well
25:20Maybe I
25:21Maybe I should get going
25:23Clarice
25:28At the risk of sounding a little forward
25:32Would you like to have a cup of coffee with me?
25:34Oh, thanks
25:35But I'll have to say no
25:37Gee, if you're worried about the age difference
25:39Believe me, that's no longer an issue
25:40Hi, honey
25:44Ready to go?
25:45I'll be right out
25:46Are you in here?
25:56Uh-huh
25:57I wasn't interested in 40-year-old men then
26:00And I guess I'm still not
26:02It's great to see you again, though
26:06Bye, Mom
26:09Good
26:15Now we're alone
26:17See what I did?
26:25I put a raindrop on my note
26:28Hey, baby
26:37I hear the blues are calling
26:38Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:42Oh, my
26:44And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:47Well, maybe
26:48But I got you pegged
26:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
26:53But I don't know what to do
26:55With those tossed salads
26:57Scrambled eggs
26:59They're calling again
27:02Good night, Seattle
27:05We love you
27:06Bye, bye
27:08Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go w
27:10Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
27:13BORES
27:14Get out of there
27:14So far, go scape
27:15Get out of there
27:15Go, go, go