Frasier Season 2 Episode 22 Agents In America Pt 3
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00:01Hello, Frasier.
00:03Oh, hi.
00:04Double latte, full fat, chocolate shavings.
00:10Ah, the self-pity special.
00:14I've had a hellish week.
00:16To top it all off, old Reggie Belknap, the president of our wine club, kicked the bucket.
00:21The man's body was not even properly chilled before the club jackals began angling to succeed him.
00:26You've never seen such vicious, cutthroat conniving.
00:29Who's winning?
00:30Well, Maris, of course, but just barely.
00:34Matthew Pym tried to stage a coup.
00:39Fortunately, Maris has photos she took at his wedding.
00:42Photos that clearly showed the label on the champagne he served.
00:46Domestic.
00:47Oh, ho, ho, ho. Not just domestic. From Connecticut.
00:51Oh.
00:52Oh, dear, don't turn around. It's that dreadful woman who works for you.
00:58Who?
00:59Um, uh, Lady Macbeth without the sincerity.
01:03Oh! Oh, Bebe's here.
01:05Oh, yes.
01:06Now, listen, Maris, look.
01:07The care for her is just as little as you do, but she is a terrific agent,
01:11which is why I overlooked the fact that she's pushy and obnoxious and the most appalling phony I've ever known.
01:17Bebe, darling, how are you?
01:21My poor, wounded baby.
01:24I just heard what those misers you work for are trying to do to you.
01:27Well, don't you worry. They're not gonna get away with it.
01:30Well, you must have heard wrong, Bebe. They extended my contract for another year with an 8% raise.
01:358%? Well, that would insult even a waiter. Double cappuccino. Move it!
01:41Well, Bebe, that is what my contract calls for.
01:45A slave contract you negotiated two years ago before you even had an agent.
01:50They took advantage of your inexperience.
01:52I thought it was a very generous offer.
01:54Oh, please, do you have any idea how hot you are?
01:58I get offers every day from other stations offering the moon for you.
02:03Good Lord, am I really that hot?
02:05Are you kidding?
02:07If I were a pot roast, I'd be done.
02:13Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table.
02:16Oh, Niles, thank God you're here. Back me up. Give him some sound brotherly advice.
02:25She's the devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far.
02:32Listen, Bebe, I... I realize that the station is making a handsome profit on my show.
02:38But what can I do? I do have a contract.
02:42No, darling. What you have is a fever.
02:46What?
02:49Ooh, you're like a furnace.
02:52Well, you know, I think I see where you're going with this, Bebe, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
02:57Well, how do you feel about being one of the lowest paid personalities at the station?
03:01Who makes more?
03:02Who doesn't? Nanette from Pet Chat, the happy chef.
03:06Oh, for heaven's sakes, Father Mike could buy and sell you.
03:10Father Mike? He took a vow of poverty.
03:13Well, now he's taking a cruise.
03:17Ooh, that big strapping chest of yours is all congested.
03:24You just say the word, and I'll tell the station you have some coughing up to do.
03:29And so do they.
03:30Bebe, this fever of mine, how much higher do you think it might go?
03:38I'm guessing 30 to 40% about where it is now.
03:4240%?
03:43Well, what else can I say but...
03:46Achoo!
03:49Child, you wanted me to make you pregnant.
03:52I was in a coma. You could've waited.
03:54My God, in one scene they've got Skye, Xena, and Slate.
04:09I don't think someone called Frasier should be pointing any fingers.
04:13That's the way you spend your days when I'm not at home?
04:18Not quite.
04:19When you're not home, I can bloody well hear what they're saying.
04:23Well, you wouldn't want to miss a line in this dialogue.
04:26Oh, zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you?
04:31He loves placenta.
04:33My favorite are the villains.
04:39They have one guy on here who kicked his grandmother down the stairs,
04:43embezzled money from a children's hospital and poisoned a puppy.
04:46Ha!
04:48Give him credit though, he did show up for work every day.
04:52Oh dear Dad, if you were going to be so devilishly subtle, how will I ever get your point?
04:58Alright, well, call me old fashioned. I think when you sign a contract you stick to it.
05:03A man's only as good as his words.
05:05Yes, well, my words have doubled the station's ad revenues.
05:08All they've shown me for thanks is a measly 8% raise.
05:11Oh, so what?
05:1330 years on the police force, you think I ever went to the sergeant and said,
05:16Hey, I'm shooting way more bad guys than I thought I would. How about a bonus?
05:23Dad, you don't understand. This is show business.
05:26I'll get it.
05:27Thank you, Daphne. You see, we do things differently. Negotiations are like a dance.
05:31They expect me to fight my contract.
05:34They know I'm not sick. I know they know I'm not sick.
05:37They know I know they know I'm not sick.
05:39It's all part of the negotiations mumbo.
05:43Hey, Roz.
05:44Hey, Roz.
05:45Hey, Martin.
05:46Roz, how are those things at the front?
05:48Well, for starters, they've painted over your name on your parking space.
05:52Perfect.
05:53What?
05:54Well, Bebe told me they might do that.
05:56It's part of a negotiation tactic.
05:58It shows that they're getting nervous.
06:00Well, they must be really jittery then because they took your picture out of the lobby.
06:04Roz, Roz, they're just trying to scare me.
06:07And he knows they're trying to scare him and they know that he knows they're trying to scare him.
06:13And he knows the thank you, Daphne.
06:15They're just bluffing. It's like a card game.
06:21It's like a card game. It's like a dance. The whole thing sounds like a weekend in Vegas.
06:29You know, I would have thought they'd play games too, Frasier, but they started auditioning people to replace you.
06:35They're interviewing people?
06:36All day.
06:37And they're really hot on this woman who has some gardening show.
06:42She calls herself Ma Nature.
06:46I can't work for her, Frasier. You should see her nails.
06:54Well, there's no need to panic, Roz. I'm sure it's all part of the dance.
06:58Hi, Dr. Crane. The station sent me over with your stuff.
07:03Sorry.
07:04Oh, my God. They've cleaned up my cubicle?
07:07Listen, Mike, you're up on all the gossip. I mean, they're just bluffing, right?
07:10I hope not. My audition went really well.
07:20Nurse Beebe reporting for duty. Blossoms for my little shut-in. Put these in something.
07:26Have you heard what's going on? They've cleaned up my cubicle? They're auditioning other people?
07:33Marvelous! They're resorting to cheap scare tactics.
07:37Looks like I was right to bring this along. Chill that.
07:44Darling, you're looking a little pale. Don't tell me these amateur theatrics are actually worrying you.
07:51Well, no, no, but the stress of not worrying is starting to get to me. I...
07:58I don't know if I can take much more of this.
08:00Darling, if that's the way you feel, then fine. Let's get this over with.
08:06Oh, Frasier, it's for the best, really. Trust me on this one.
08:12Tom Durant, please. Bebe Glazer calling.
08:16Tom! Bebe's bored.
08:19You've huffed, and you've puffed, but our house is still standing. We're giving you a midnight deadline.
08:27Either call us here at Frasier's and tell us you'll renegotiate or we'll walk.
08:32Love ya.
08:33There. That should make them sweat, don't you think?
08:38It might.
08:42Well, it's all of a buck awaiting. Canasta, anyone? Shuffle these.
08:48It's eleven forty-five. Oh, God. It's over. They've made the decision. It's over.
09:06Well, it was a fun run when it lasted, eh, Seattle?
09:12This is Dr. Frasier Crane!
09:16And I was listening!
09:22Here we are.
09:24One cup of tea, half darjeeling, half chamomile, skim milk, a packet of sweetener.
09:31Oh, and I thought you might enjoy a nice fat-free tea biscuit.
09:36Will there be anything else?
09:38No. You run along. I'm fine.
09:40You sure now?
09:41Because I could wait until you finish the biscuit and floss your teeth for you.
09:54You are a cheeky little monkey, aren't you?
09:59This cookie tastes like meat!
10:02Yes, and it'll remove tartar and give you a nice shiny coat.
10:10Well, I think I'm gonna hit the A-2.
10:11That's awfully risky of you, isn't it? Leaving us kids out here on chaperone.
10:24Better him than me.
10:25Why are you so tense? This is the best part. What could be more fun than this?
10:39Watching a loved one be autopsied.
10:41Think of them, sweating in their offices, chain-smoking, biting their nails, their ulcers, churning out enough acid to burn a hole in a ship's hull.
10:56Oh, oh, God!
11:02And to think I nearly went into nursing.
11:05Oh, you're right, baby, you're right!
11:10Oh, God, they're foolish enough to let me go.
11:13Well, then, fine.
11:14There are any number of other stations that would love to have Frasier Crane on board.
11:18Exactly!
11:19Yes.
11:20But, you know, in fact, I think it's time maybe we discussed those other offers.
11:24Consider what our fallback position should be.
11:27Ooh, someone's out of scotch!
11:29B.B., tell me there are other offers.
11:38Scared!
11:40Now, you look me in the eye and tell me the truth.
11:44There are no other offers.
11:47Straight up or on the rocks.
11:50There we go!
11:52Darling, you can't make a deal without bluffing a little.
11:56You're supposed to bluff them, not me!
12:00My God, woman, are you trying to ruin me?
12:03You are such a worry-worn!
12:05Now, don't you patronize me, you sweet-talking succubus!
12:08You get on the phone and call them!
12:10Oh, my God, hands of Hercules!
12:17What must your legs be like?
12:24Answer it.
12:25Not yet.
12:26Where are we?
12:30Have we gone out?
12:32Is it too late?
12:33Accurate!
12:37Crane residence.
12:38B.B. Glazer speaking.
12:40It's them.
12:43I see.
12:46I see.
12:50Fine.
12:51Well?
12:52Re-negotiations tomorrow starting from scratch.
12:55Oh!
12:57Oh, my God!
12:58I'm so pleased!
12:59Thank you, B.B.
13:00Maybe next time you'll trust little B.B.
13:01Yes.
13:02Oh!
13:03I'm so sorry.
13:04You're right.
13:05I underestimated you.
13:06I'm sorry for that horrible outburst and for grabbing you the way I did.
13:10Don't be.
13:11Don't be.
13:12I was impressed.
13:13It was manly in a hysterical sort of way.
13:16Cheers.
13:17Champagne on top of scotch.
13:18Oh, what the hell?
13:19To a beautiful partnership.
13:20No.
13:21No.
13:22No.
13:23To a remarkable agent.
13:24I'm sorry for that horrible outburst and for grabbing you the way I did.
13:25Don't be.
13:27I was impressed.
13:29It was manly in a hysterical sort of way.
13:36Cheers.
13:38Champagne on top of scotch.
13:42Oh, what the hell?
13:44To a beautiful partnership.
13:46No.
13:47No.
13:48To a remarkable agent.
13:52What B.B. wants, B.B. gets.
13:54When will I ever learn that?
13:57Soon enough, dear.
14:01Soon enough.
14:16Sorry, Eddie, he's still alive.
14:31You're not gonna get your own room after all.
14:37Oh, God.
14:38How you feeling?
14:39How do I look?
14:41Last time I saw a guy who looked like you, he'd been in the trunk of a car at the airport for a month.
14:47Good morning.
14:50My goodness.
14:52Christened a few ships last night, I see.
14:56Station agreed to renegotiate.
15:00Oh, all right.
15:02Yes, they called around five to midnight.
15:07B.B. and I had some champagne to celebrate.
15:10And then...
15:12And then...
15:16Oh, God.
15:20Morning, Doctor.
15:21Somebody hold me.
15:22I hope you don't mind, but I didn't see a robe and your shirt looks so nice and big and warm.
15:39Just like you.
15:40Well, I think I'll go in the other room and eat my breakfast.
15:48Well, I still can.
15:51I better go cook for him.
15:53I know how the cream men like the legs.
15:56Eggs.
16:00I think they were a little shocked.
16:03Well, I...
16:04I'm a little surprised myself.
16:06Oh.
16:07Let's not kid ourselves.
16:09We both knew this would happen someday.
16:12We did?
16:13The signs were all there.
16:15The glances.
16:17The furtive smiles.
16:20You know what would really hit the spot right now?
16:23My God, you're a machine!
16:32Coffee.
16:34I meant coffee.
16:36I'll get it.
16:37Oh, no, no, no.
16:38That's not necessary.
16:40Good morning, Niles.
16:41What a lovely surprise.
16:42We were just about to sit down to a big family breakfast.
16:46Won't you join us?
16:55Come on in, Niles.
16:56It's all right.
17:06We were...
17:07We were celebrating, you see.
17:08The station called to renegotiate my contract.
17:11Oh.
17:13Paid your commission up front, I see.
17:19It's getting late.
17:20I better go freshen up.
17:21Save me a muffin muffin.
17:23All right, just go ahead, get your shots in.
17:34No, no.
17:35I'm just glad you're all right.
17:38I would have assumed she killed after mating.
17:40Is she gone?
17:41No, Dad.
17:42She's...
17:43She's changing.
17:44Oh, my God.
17:45How did this happen?
17:46You're asking us?
17:47Oh, I've got to talk with her.
17:48I've got to tell her this was just a mistake.
17:50Well, you better be careful how you let her down.
17:51She's liable to go nuts, like in that movie, then sneak in here and try to boil Eddie.
18:03Oh, well, look.
18:04We'll clear her out of here and give you a little brightness.
18:05Oh, no, no, Dad.
18:06I can't tell her right now.
18:07She's about to go down there and renegotiate my contract.
18:08I'll tell her later.
18:09I'll tell her later.
18:10Oh, that's a good idea.
18:11Wait till she makes you a bunch of money, then on top of breaking her heart, you can
18:16make her feel really used.
18:17Sounds like a plan to me.
18:18Darling!
18:19We'll leave you to your happy task.
18:22Cancel that muffin.
18:23Phoebe just started a diet.
18:25Wink.
18:26That's a good idea.
18:27I'll tell her later.
18:28I'll tell her later.
18:29I'll tell her later.
18:30I'll tell her later.
18:31I'll tell her later.
18:32I'll tell her later.
18:33I'll tell her later.
18:34I'll tell her later.
18:35Oh, that's a good idea.
18:36Wait till she makes you a bunch of money, then on top of breaking her heart, you can make
18:38her feel really used.
18:41Sounds like a plan to me.
18:42Darling!
18:43We'll leave you to your happy task.
18:46Diet. Wink.
18:49Versace, tonight we're dining at Bernardi's.
18:53It's sinfully expensive, but I think after contract talks we can afford it.
18:59Uh, B.B.
19:00Yes?
19:03B.B., I don't think there are any words to describe what we shared last night.
19:10It was like Greco-Roman wrestling on a trampoline.
19:16You see, I, as magical as it was, I, I don't think it's the kind of thing that we should let happen again.
19:29No.
19:31Well, you see, I value you too much as a colleague to do anything that might jeopardize that relationship.
19:41I see.
19:43Oh, you're upset?
19:44No, I'm sure we both would have realized it was a mistake sooner or later.
19:47Personally, I was hoping for later, but I suppose sooner's best.
19:51It is, it really is.
19:53I better dash, I'll call you after the meeting.
19:58Oh, like you never crawled under the wrong fence once in your life.
20:05Disaster again.
20:17Mara's little wine club had an outing to the local vineyard.
20:20As the new president, she had the honor of being first into the stomping bat.
20:25You can imagine her humiliation as she danced herself into a barefoot fury and was unable to break even a single grape.
20:31Frasier, have you heard a word I've said?
20:38Of course not, Niles.
20:40I'm still worried about Bibi.
20:43I thought you said she took it well.
20:45Well, she did, but you know how it is with strong women.
20:47Well, sometimes their strength masks their vulnerability.
20:53Well, let's face it.
20:55Once a woman has dipped her toe into Crane Lake,
20:59Dryland is never the same again.
21:07Yes, she's probably home in her room writing Mrs. Bibi Crane over and over in the margin of her algebra book.
21:15You can make light of this if you want to,
21:17but it is entirely possible that I broke that woman's heart.
21:21Ooh, whose heart did you break?
21:22No one.
21:23Niles, be quiet.
21:24Oh, come on, Frasier.
21:26I'm going to figure it out sooner or later.
21:27Give me a clue, just one.
21:29That's all I need.
21:30Doc!
21:30Doc, come quick!
21:32Bibi's out on the ledge of our building.
21:33She's threatening to jump.
21:34Oh, my God.
21:35This is all my fault.
21:37Wait!
21:37Just give me a hint!
21:46Bibi, please.
21:48Get away from me!
21:50Excuse me.
21:52What happened?
21:53I don't know.
21:54We were working out your deal.
21:56She just burst into tears.
21:58I went out to get some water for her.
22:00When I came back, she's standing out there sobbing that she doesn't want to live.
22:04Bibi, it's Frasier.
22:14Please, come in.
22:15It's no good!
22:17My life is over!
22:20We gotta save her, Doc.
22:22My contract's up in six weeks.
22:24She's my agent, too.
22:27I'm not going out there.
22:29Are you nuts?
22:30What's nine stories down?
22:32You know what a drop like that would do to you?
22:34Boss, why don't you toss a pumpkin out the windows?
22:36Why have I clear images?
22:36Why have I clear images?
22:38It's great for the police.
22:39No.
22:40No.
22:41No, that woman out there needs me.
22:45Bibi, I'm coming out.
22:48Doc, I'm any closer.
22:50I'll jump.
22:51Bibi, please.
22:52No, you can't help me.
22:54No one can help me.
22:56I'm not worth doing this over.
23:01Look, there'll be other men.
23:03It may take time, but you'll get over me.
23:07Well, somebody certainly thinks well of himself.
23:11What?
23:12Darling, this isn't about us.
23:15It's just a little bargaining tactic.
23:17I threaten to jump.
23:26You talk me down.
23:27Major coverage.
23:28Bang!
23:29Your price goes up 20%.
23:31My life is meaningless!
23:37Talk to me, darling.
23:38Talk to me.
23:38I'm out of your mind.
23:40Now listen, you're coming in.
23:40You're coming in right now.
23:41Turn away from me!
23:43You can't talk me out of this!
23:45At least not until Channel 5 gets here.
23:51Now come on, dear.
23:52Make like a therapist.
23:54God, you are out of your mind.
23:56You need help.
23:57You should be in therapy.
23:59That's good, but louder.
24:01Give me one reason to live!
24:05Just one!
24:06There are hundreds of reasons.
24:19Work, art, the people who care about you.
24:23Now come in, you crazy bitch.
24:24Channel 5, come to my mind.
24:40Oh, dear.
24:42Full coverage.
24:43Here's the plan.
24:44I swoon forward.
24:45You reach out and catch me.
24:46What?
24:46On three.
24:47One.
24:48Two.
24:49No!
24:49Film at 11.
24:59Oh, God.
25:00Just get in.
25:03Oh, Phoebe.
25:05Are you all right?
25:07Yes.
25:08I'm fine now.
25:10Bulldog, get her some water.
25:12Do you want to sit down?
25:13Thank you, Frazier.
25:18You saved my life.
25:23That was incredible, Frazier.
25:26Look, uh, I know we've got some unfinished business, but rest assured, after this, there's
25:32no way we're going to let you get away.
25:34Oh, thank you, Tom.
25:40If I could just have a moment alone with Bebe.
25:43Sure.
25:46Let's just...
25:47What kind of a woman are you?
25:57You seduced me.
25:59You lied to me.
25:59You nearly got me killed.
26:00You're shamelessly manipulated, not only me, but this station, the news media, and the
26:06entire city of Seattle.
26:09What do you have to say for yourself?
26:14Aren't you glad I'm on your side?
26:26Yes, I suppose I am.
26:30Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:43Quite stylish.
26:45And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:48Well, maybe.
26:49But I got you pegged.
26:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
26:53But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
27:00They're calling again.
27:04Good night, Seattle.
27:05We love you.