Ally McBeal Season 1 Episode 2
#AllyMcBeal
#PrimeUSTV
#AllyMcBeal
#PrimeUSTV
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hello?
00:14Allie, are you awake? I'm sure you're not good that I called.
00:17What?
00:18The arraignment's at nine. I really appreciate you jumping, too.
00:21Judge Mack is sitting even-handed, a little firm with young lawyer.
00:24Not now, Elaine.
00:25John, it's Allie McBeal. This is John Cage, your co-founder.
00:29Hi.
00:30Yeah, he's loathe to meet you under these circumstances.
00:32Allie will handle the arraignment. With any luck, we can dispose of it quick.
00:36Yeah, let me get some of the facts.
00:37Facts? You know them. He pulled over to help her out. She looked upset.
00:41It wasn't until after he inserted his pride that he realized she was a hooker.
00:45Is that the argument you want me to make?
00:47You're the litigator. I'm just spitballing.
00:49Oral arguments at ten.
00:53Allie, on another matter, do you have plans tonight? I'm sure you don't.
00:57Why?
00:58Well, I have a dinner meeting with Ronald Cheney, Gattam Publishing. Big ticket. I'd love you there.
01:03Two can sell better than one.
01:04Richard, I'm not good at landing accounts.
01:05That's what you said with the airline client. I popped a cork, remember?
01:08I just got word. Mack isn't sitting. It's Boyle.
01:11Boyle?
01:12Billy. Billy?
01:14Where is he? Page him. See if you can get him down to the courthouse.
01:16What's going on?
01:17New strategy, John. Happy Boyle is sitting in your arraignment.
01:20Tell Billy to meet Allie BMC.
01:22What, what, what?
01:23If you're called, just plead not guilty. File Billy's appearance and ask for a conference.
01:27What's going on?
01:27Billy knows Boyle. This is good. This is good. Good, good, good, good.
01:30Here's the police report. I also ran probation on the prostitute. Here's a copy of her sheet. None of her crimes reflect on credibility.
01:36Here she goes again. Me, me, me.
01:39And I wouldn't plan to go. Thank you, Elaine.
01:41Let's go, let's go, let's really go. We may have caught a break here. Now file Billy's appearance and ask for a conference. Come on, let's, let's go.
01:46I've been down this road, walking the line that's painted my pride.
01:59And I have made mistakes in my life that I just can't hide.
02:07Oh, I believe I'm ready.
02:10My love has been ready.
02:13Yeah, I got myself together.
02:18Now I'm ready to sing.
02:22I've been searching my soul tonight.
02:26I know there's so much more to life.
02:30Now I know I can shine the light to find my way back home.
02:36Oh, baby.
02:39I'm going to criminal court. I'm afraid of criminals.
02:56Well, maybe that'll change now that I work for one.
02:59Case number 6021, Commonwealth versus Cage.
03:04Um, Ali McBeal for the defendant, Your Honor, we'd like to plead not guilty and we would like to ask...
03:08Billy Thomas also for the defendant.
03:10Judge, wave reading. Could we sidebar for a second?
03:12Speed it up. I'm Cassie.
03:14What are you doing, Frank?
03:15Hanging.
03:17Your Honor, John Cage is a good guy.
03:19He just got a little stupid.
03:20If we could make this go away, court appointeds, community service, whatever you want.
03:24You care?
03:25No.
03:26Who's your little friend?
03:29Excuse me?
03:30Your Honor, Ali McBeal is an associate at my firm.
03:32Ah. Is she a good lawyer?
03:34Very.
03:35Let me see your teeth.
03:38I beg your pardon?
03:39Hygiene is important to this court. Show me your teeth.
03:49Okay. Court goes and you owe me.
03:52Have them work out of schedule with probation.
03:54I'll see you later.
03:54Case dismissed.
03:57Next.
03:58The only thing I know about what just went on is I don't know what just went on.
04:02Judge Boyle doesn't have an in for consensual sex offenders.
04:05You're friends with this judge?
04:06Oh, I'm friendly a little. I wouldn't say we're friends.
04:09Well, I don't see how he can kick a case so quickly.
04:11And what relevance my teeth had, I don't have any idea.
04:14Honey.
04:14Honey.
04:16Hi.
04:16Hi.
04:18Oh, that honey.
04:22Hi, Ali.
04:23Nice surprise.
04:24We, uh, just had a case together. We were in court.
04:27Ah. What kind of case?
04:29Consensual sex.
04:30I mean...
04:31Prostitution.
04:32Uh, anyway, I'm sorry I'm late.
04:34We're, uh, just picking out some fabric for a living room.
04:37Fabric?
04:37Oh.
04:40Okay.
04:41Oh, it was nice to see you again, Georgia.
04:43You too.
04:44I'll see you back at the office.
04:46Okay.
04:48Bye.
04:50Again.
04:50Bye.
04:53Fabric?
04:54They're picking out fabric?
04:56City's got over a million people I can't walk down the street without bumping into her.
04:59Fabric?
05:00John.
05:02John.
05:03Uh, a second of your time.
05:05We started this firm with the same dream, did we not?
05:08Money.
05:08In pursuit of that dream, we agreed that I would be the shark, the hammer, the ass, and you would be the pillar of dignity.
05:13This was the deal.
05:13Have I not been every bit the ass you envision?
05:15And more.
05:16It escapes me as to how soliciting hookers fits into your scheme, but instead of belaboring it, I'd like to focus on the positive.
05:22The fact that when a person reveals a flaw, he often does so by digging deeper into himself.
05:27What happened to you can only build character.
05:29John, you are a stronger man today than you were yesterday.
05:32I can't even feel it just standing here next to you.
05:34I just feel this, the strength.
05:36Well done.
05:37I'm not endorsing prostitution.
05:48I'm just saying it's a waste of tax dollars trying to enforce it.
05:51And, by the way, it's okay for a gal to demand a diamond ring from a guy before sex, but not money.
05:56Ah, whipper likes to say diamond ring to torture me.
06:00Well, double standards are everywhere.
06:02Sex is currency, let's face it.
06:04This guy is cute.
06:07You don't mean to endorse that from a moral standpoint, do you?
06:09Allie, truthfully, have you ever used your sexuality to gain a business advantage?
06:15Hmm.
06:16Me?
06:18No.
06:19I had a secretary once.
06:20She offered to give me an easement on her left breast if I gave her Fridays off.
06:25Don't you dare tell that one till I come back.
06:27I have to go to the little girls' gym and excuse me.
06:29Yeah, I need to make a visit for myself.
06:34So, Richard, what's up with you and Whipper?
06:38She's my girlfriend.
06:40She's your girlfriend?
06:42I like older women.
06:43Always have.
06:44Hmm.
06:46Is there a problem?
06:47Is there a problem?
06:48No, no.
06:48Is Whipper here is your date?
06:52Yes.
06:52Yeah.
06:52Um, by any chance, is this whole evening kind of like a double date?
06:58Oh, no.
07:00No.
07:00Kind of.
07:01So this man, Mr. Chaney, he thinks that I'm here as his escort?
07:05Huh.
07:07And up she goes.
07:08Richard, I'm going to the bathroom.
07:09Is that where you make all your big decisions in life, the bathroom?
07:12Well, I'm sure you don't make any of yours in a room with a mirror.
07:14Ouch.
07:15Stung again.
07:16It tingles.
07:16I can't believe it.
07:19I'm here just to smile at him.
07:21Three years of law school, it all keeps coming down to my teeth.
07:29What have we here?
07:38Are you sure they were kissing?
07:39Am I sure?
07:40Hello?
07:41She was licking his tonsils.
07:42I have to tell Richard.
07:44No.
07:44The messenger always gets shot.
07:46He's my boss.
07:47Well, maybe he told her to kiss him to help land the account.
07:51Oh, that's possible.
07:54Stay out of it.
07:55Or at least get some other busybody to help do your dirty work.
08:02Why are you being so nice?
08:04Have I not been nice to you?
08:06No.
08:07Actually, you've been rather snappish.
08:08I have not been snappish.
08:10Yes, you have.
08:12Whenever I ask you how you are or inquire about your welfare, you get short.
08:16Just last night, I asked you if you...
08:17Elaine, you asked me if I was ovulating.
08:20And you answered snappish.
08:24Anyway, I like you and you're sweet.
08:26Is it because you want something?
08:30Mm-hmm.
08:31Are Richard, Fish, and Whipper, are they serious?
08:37Oh, that.
08:40Well, he says that she's the one.
08:43She could just be the latest relic of the month.
08:45Hmm.
08:46You think, you think...
08:48Would Richard ever use Whipper to, um, land a client?
08:53Like, you know, have her flirt with somebody or, or, who knows, kiss a person?
09:00I'm just trying to familiarize myself with the strategies of the firm, that's all.
09:04This is about Judge Boyle learning John Cage off, isn't it?
09:09Uh, no, but is there a story in that?
09:11Well, it's none of my business.
09:15But Judge Boyle was at Billy's bachelor party last year.
09:18And you know that they had one there.
09:21What, what, one, what?
09:22A hooker.
09:24For Billy.
09:25A hooker for my Billy?
09:27And after Billy, some of the other guests indulged.
09:31And Judge Boyle was one of them.
09:33Oh, can you picture it?
09:35It's none of your business.
09:41A hooker?
09:42How in God's name?
09:43It wasn't in God's name.
09:44Does Georgia know?
09:45No, of course she doesn't know.
09:47And despite your sudden, deep friendship, I'd appreciate you're not telling her.
09:50Oh, Billy.
09:51I don't want to talk about it.
09:52Oh, you're going to talk about an ex-girlfriend?
09:53I have a right to know.
09:54Ex-girlfriends don't have rights.
09:56This one does.
09:57This one does.
09:57This one does.
10:05We'd all been drinking.
10:07And I was a drunk idiot.
10:09What else can I say?
10:11You act like I betrayed you.
10:12Well, in a way, you, you did.
10:16I mean, if I had been the one that you married, I, I assume the same thing.
10:20This just doesn't sound like you.
10:22It was nothing.
10:23It meant nothing.
10:24Oh, and I suppose if Georgia had been with a male hooker, you wouldn't be upset?
10:27It's not the same.
10:28Oh, how is it not the same?
10:29Excuse me for being gender biased, but women don't have the same sex drive thing.
10:33I don't care what the editors at Cosmopolitan say.
10:35Oh, I see.
10:35And you know this for a medical fact.
10:37And so do you.
10:38This makes men stupid.
10:41This makes women stupid.
10:42And, I might add, it's more of a betrayal when women cheat, because with women, sex is more mental.
10:47There's a cerebral thing going on.
10:49With men, a lot of the time, it's just body parts, and that's what it was that night.
10:54I cannot believe the things that I am hearing come out of your mouth.
10:57But then again, considering the places it's been, I guess I shouldn't be so shocked.
11:05Did you cheat on me?
11:13Allie, if I cheat, I'd lie about it, wouldn't I?
11:17But the answer is no.
11:23I never cheated on you.
11:27Well, Allie, uh, looking for you.
11:29You remember, uh, Ronnie?
11:30Um, yeah, hi.
11:34Hey.
11:34Ronnie's thinking of, uh, hiring us.
11:36He still has a few questions about our litigation department.
11:38I thought maybe you could sit down with him.
11:40Uh, sure.
11:41I thought we'd go downstairs, grab a drink at the bar, around, uh, six.
11:44I'd rather have a root canal.
11:46Oh, uh, well, um, I...
11:50Sounds good.
11:52Just saying yes to a drink, it made me have to run home and shower.
12:02I'm gonna have drinks with a man to get ahead.
12:06It doesn't matter that I'm not in a relationship with anybody.
12:11Sometimes I feel I'm just being unfaithful to love itself.
12:14So, what, what are your questions about our litigation department?
12:23I don't have any questions about the litigation department.
12:25That was just a pretext.
12:26I knew it, pig.
12:27My question goes more to the integrity of the firm than general.
12:32I beg your pardon?
12:33Look, I know about John Cage and the prostitute.
12:36We all know Richard Fish.
12:38Is the firm, I don't know, moral?
12:42I saw you kiss Whipper.
12:44Oh.
12:46Yeah, oh.
12:49What exactly was the ethical pulse throbbing there?
12:53Well, uh...
12:55Oh, here comes the big male sex drive speech.
12:57That was a sort of spur-of-the-moment whim thing that kind of just...
13:02happened.
13:05Is that it, or do you feel you've explained it?
13:08Well, I can't really defend it,
13:11but it's certainly not as despicable as what John Cage did.
13:17You think that that was despicable?
13:20Don't you?
13:22Um, he's a man.
13:23Boys will be boys.
13:24Do you really think that?
13:26Well, it's no different than, say,
13:28take a bachelor party.
13:31You think if guys fool around with a hooker at a bachelor party,
13:33they should be hauled into court?
13:34Allie, it's a crime, and it's immoral.
13:38Somebody's gonna marry somebody?
13:40How could you fool around with anybody else?
13:43The bachelor party is no exception.
13:45I kind of like him.
13:49And here's where it started to happen.
13:51Whether it was the wine, or his eyes,
13:54or my need to believe that Billy wasn't the only man on Earth,
13:57not that I invited anything.
13:59I kept my body language stiff,
14:00hands behind my back,
14:02I only smiled medium.
14:04Even so...
14:05That's, uh, it's kind of late, huh?
14:08Late, yeah.
14:11Long day.
14:12Very long, boy.
14:14Good day.
14:15Good day.
14:16It's long.
14:17So long.
14:26All right.
14:29Good night.
14:37Good night.
14:44You kissed him?
15:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I did, I did not really kiss him.
15:03It, it, it was a half kiss.
15:05Half a kiss.
15:06Last night, this guy was tongue-waggling Gipper, Whipper, whatever.
15:09What, what, what, does this guy go around kissing everybody?
15:11He had a very good reason for kissing Whipper.
15:14What?
15:16Well, he, he said that he was angry at Richard for bringing me there as window dressing,
15:22and, and then he bumped into Whipper at the bathroom,
15:25and she looked all nice, and she was flirting,
15:26and, and he suddenly thought that if he was gonna kiss anybody,
15:29he was gonna kiss Richard's girlfriend, and a whim took over.
15:31He made it sound better.
15:36I'm telling you, going to work with Billy is...
15:38Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with Billy.
15:41You're kissing a guy you don't even like according to what he tells you.
15:43He looks good.
15:45Well, where does it say that women can't act like men sometimes?
15:47I saw a piece of cute meat, and I said to myself,
15:49you only live once, be a man.
15:59All right.
16:00You know, I, I don't usually drink in the morning,
16:03but good news should never go uncelebrated.
16:05Way to go, Allie, again.
16:07Thanks.
16:08The truth is, I, I thought this guy would spit the hook.
16:10I don't know what you did last night, but whatever it was, it did the trick.
16:15Uh, Richard, can I speak with you for a second in private?
16:21Sure.
16:22Billy, do you mind?
16:23Yeah, I, I'll, I'll fill you in later.
16:26I'm kidding.
16:27I'm kidding.
16:27I'm gone.
16:28Congratulations, Allie, again.
16:30Thanks.
16:34I don't think we should accept this client.
16:39Seriously.
16:40I'm, I'm not comfortable representing him.
16:42I don't even want him in these offices.
16:44I, I, it's going to be a problem if we take his business.
16:47A problem is just a bleak word for, uh, challenge, Allie.
16:51This account is a potential cash cow.
16:53You don't have to do the actual milking, but we will take this client.
16:57Hmm?
16:58Anything else?
16:58Yes, he kissed Whipper.
17:01Oh.
17:02I beg your pardon?
17:03The other night at dinner, by the bathroom, I saw it.
17:09Seriously?
17:10Yeah, this is serious, Richard.
17:11They were kissing.
17:13In the restaurant?
17:14Yes.
17:15They were kissing?
17:17Yes.
17:18Each other?
17:19Yes.
17:19Yes.
17:19I'm sorry, Richard.
17:26I, I just felt like I had to tell you.
17:28I know.
17:28No, no, no, no, no, no.
17:29No, I'm glad you, uh, you did.
17:31Uh, well, uh, uh, wasn't on my cheek?
17:40It's on the lips?
17:42It was a heavy-duty kiss.
17:44Oh.
17:46Well, uh, no big deal.
17:53Uh, not a, not a big thing.
17:55I'll, um, I'll take, I'll take into consideration as to whether or not we take on the client.
18:01So thank you, Allie.
18:03That'll be all.
18:04Are you okay?
18:05Hey, I'm fine.
18:06Uh, bygones.
18:10Okay.
18:19Oh.
18:20I'm sorry.
18:22Richard, I feel I've lost the confidence of the office.
18:27And, uh, if you don't mind, I would like to address all personnel at noon.
18:32Uh, you're, uh, fine.
18:34I'll circulate a memo.
18:36Hmm.
18:49So you told him?
18:50Was it wrong?
18:51Oh, God, you should have seen his little face.
18:54He was so hurt.
18:55I, was it, was it wrong for me to, I, I just thought that he should know.
18:59You did the right thing.
19:00Really?
19:01He's got to know, right?
19:02I mean, it's his girlfriend, and he, should I tell Georgia?
19:13About the other?
19:14Uh, no.
19:18She's my wife.
19:20Maybe I owe it to her, to be honest.
19:22I mean, if it's right to tell Richard the truth, why shouldn't Georgia, what's the difference?
19:28The difference is telling Richard the truth will save him future hurt.
19:31You and Georgia, past tense, and, and...
19:32And what?
19:33I don't know, sometimes there's no point in the truth if the only thing it'll do is cause pain.
19:40There is a difference.
19:41One person who does need to hear a few things is Whipper.
19:50Do you know where I can find her?
19:52Did you try the courthouse?
19:54Courthouse, why?
19:55Cause that's where she works, over at Suffolk.
19:57She does?
19:58She's a judge, Allie.
20:00Judge Cone.
20:02You didn't know that?
20:05No.
20:05No.
20:11A judge.
20:17Even people we call your honor don't have honor anymore.
20:21It shouldn't be legal to be a judge with a name like Whipper.
20:26And you saw fit to tell him.
20:28How could I not?
20:29How could you not?
20:29Because you heard him.
20:31I heard him?
20:32Yes, you heard him.
20:33What happened outside that bathroom had absolutely no meaning at all until now.
20:36And you have given it meaning.
20:38Do you expect that to sound right just because you're wearing a robe?
20:41Allie, the truth isn't always the best thing, especially when the only consequence is pain.
20:45I'll certainly remember that if I ever have a case in your courtroom.
20:49Is he okay?
20:50No.
20:50No, he's not okay.
20:52And that's why I'm here.
20:54Do you have another name?
20:55Whipper just seems to be a little informal for me.
20:58I have to go and see him.
21:00You know, somebody who wears this thing is supposed to avoid the appearance of impropriety.
21:03All you know is what you saw.
21:05And there's always more to it than that.
21:07Yeah.
21:07Like Richard's feelings.
21:11Well, what did she say to that?
21:23Nothing.
21:24She walked past me to leave.
21:25I thought she was coming to see you.
21:27Well, I won't do it.
21:27I don't know.
21:29We're having quite the intrusive morning so far.
21:33Yes, Elaine.
21:33Elaine, I'm feeling what it must be like to be you.
21:36Snappish.
21:42Oh, come on.
21:44Uh, I don't understand.
21:47I'm sorry, but things just are not going to work out.
21:52Uh, I thought we were getting along.
21:58Next thing I know, Richard Fish is turning down my business.
22:01Ronnie, you're just going to have to take my word on this.
22:03It's not going to work out.
22:05I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
22:07Stay anyway.
22:08You want me to leave?
22:10No.
22:11Yes.
22:11Yes.
22:11Wait, Ronnie.
22:30Ronnie!
22:33Oh, Georgia.
22:34Oh, I'm sorry.
22:35Ellie.
22:37I was thinking, maybe you and I should...
22:39I took the stairs.
22:40He's gone.
22:40You could catch him if you took the window.
22:43Snappish.
22:44Allie, this is silly, you and me.
22:48How about we go to lunch?
22:49Just the two of us.
22:50Um, sure.
22:51Sure, that would probably be a good idea.
22:55Excuse me.
22:57Could I, uh, could I have everyone's attention?
23:00Can you hold a moment, please?
23:10I think most of you know, nothing matters to me more than this firm and the people who work here.
23:18So, it's with a lot of humility that I apologize for what I've done for the embarrassment that I caused.
23:30It's not easy to be a single working man in this world, 14-hour days.
23:39It's not easy to meet women.
23:41Sure, I could walk into a bar and buy a lady a drink and, under the pretext of a, perhaps a budding relationship, seduce her into satisfying my sexual needs.
23:51But that goes against my grain to deceive another person, no matter the physical gratification.
23:59So, I thought it more honest to solicit a prostitute.
24:04No lies, no deception, no potential for someone with a vulnerable heart to rely falsely to her detriment.
24:18What I did was technically illegal.
24:20It was.
24:21But morally, I believe I was on a higher ground.
24:24You see, the ironic thing is I got arrested because I have too much respect for a woman, any woman, to lie.
24:36And for that, I could never be ashamed.
24:39Thanks.
24:40Thanks.
24:54Georgia, we need to talk about something.
25:07Okay.
25:08Excuse me.
25:12Oh, God, he's going to be honest.
25:15What's the matter?
25:19There's something you got to know.
25:21It, uh, happened a while ago.
25:24It had no meaning whatsoever, but...
25:26What?
25:28You're kind of scaring me.
25:31Georgia, um...
25:34Hey, how's it going?
25:36Good speech out there, huh?
25:38Allie, would you excuse us?
25:40This is private.
25:41Absolutely.
25:42Um, what part did I come in on?
25:44What is this?
25:45Allie, would you excuse us, please?
25:46No, no.
25:47I think that I should be the one to tell.
25:49Out!
25:50No!
25:51It involves me.
25:52I'll tell.
25:52What?
25:53Look, somebody better start telling real fast.
25:55Georgia.
25:56Allie?
25:56Billy, I'm telling.
26:03Okay.
26:05Um, uh, uh, uh, Billy didn't want to tell you this because it doesn't mean anything.
26:11And I agree that it doesn't mean anything.
26:13But being a woman, I know how women react to things even when they don't mean anything.
26:17Allie?
26:17Will you excuse us, please?
26:18Will I excuse you?
26:20So, you see, Georgia, um, before you were married, actually, actually, the very first
26:25day that Billy met you, he saw your thigh.
26:30My thigh?
26:31Yeah, and, um, he thought it was me, because he has always loved my thighs.
26:38And, well, when he first saw you, I mean your thigh, because, um, he wasn't looking up.
26:44He felt all nostalgic.
26:47Because, um, do you see how our thighs are similar?
26:50Anyway, he was captured by your thigh, and then his eye went up to your face, and it wasn't my face, and the rest is history.
26:57He fell madly in love with you and your thigh, and I felt that since my thigh was involved, that, that I should be the one to tell.
27:09What kind of medication are you taking?
27:17Trust me, Billy, if you had told her about that bachelor party, you would have been...
27:20Your thigh!
27:21Where the hell did you come up with that?
27:22I don't know.
27:24I don't know.
27:24I'm not a good liar.
27:25I was just, I was thinking about that thing you said before about body parts, and I suddenly thought of that, and, and I don't know.
27:31Oh, I, I, thigh seemed pretty innocent as parts go.
27:35And you were something.
27:39You would have destroyed her, and you may have unburdened yourself, but the clear conscience wouldn't have been worth it, and you would have killed her.
27:49She doesn't have to know.
27:51Okay.
27:53Thanks.
27:55Son of a bitch.
27:56Richard!
27:58Not to worry.
27:59Only me.
28:01Excuse me.
28:03She knew anyway.
28:06Allie.
28:08Yeah.
28:11Thanks.
28:12What are friends for?
28:17Well, I liked my job before, but, God, do I love it now.
28:25I guess I just don't understand why he felt so guilty.
28:28Well, I think he was scared it would hurt you.
28:30Well, most women don't want to remind a man of another woman's leg.
28:32Yeah, I guess.
28:34Do you think men go for body parts, while for women it's more mental?
28:39I don't know.
28:40I do know that if I were going to fantasize, you know, I couldn't just leap through a magazine and lock onto some anonymous model.
28:50You know, no matter how amazing his body was, if I can't attach a personality to him, I can't make it happen.
28:56So it is more mental.
28:57Yeah, but a guy, he can open playboy, see the body, not even look at the face, and go make himself happy.
29:04They don't even care that we have heads, except...
29:06You might be overstating it a little.
29:08I doubt it.
29:09You see that guy over there?
29:13How gorgeous is he?
29:15Very.
29:16Yeah.
29:17Now, if he marched over here and told you he had a hotel room, would you follow?
29:22Uh...
29:23He would not.
29:24Well, of course I wouldn't.
29:25It's general common sense.
29:26He could be a wacko.
29:27And so could I.
29:29But watch this.
29:34I'm sorry.
29:36I've never done this before in my life.
29:39I can see you're wearing a ring, so I know you're married.
29:42I don't even want to know your name.
29:44I don't even want to talk.
29:46I...
29:46I live across the street, and I just want to be naked with you for an hour.
29:52And pretend it never happened.
29:55And remember it forever.
29:58Let me just pay my check first.
30:00Oh, I'm sorry.
30:01I thought you were somebody else.
30:03It's my mistake.
30:06Do you see?
30:07Men will throw away their whole lives for sex.
30:10It's like a drug.
30:11I think you're the drug, Georgia.
30:12You're kind of curvy.
30:14No.
30:14No, it is not me.
30:16You try it.
30:18Go ahead.
30:18Pick someone.
30:19Anyone.
30:20Go.
30:22All right.
30:34Don't even speak.
30:36I, uh, I live across the street, and I want to take your clothes off.
30:42Do bad things.
30:44I'll have you back in an hour.
30:48Allie?
30:49Allie McBeal?
30:50Craig Stone.
30:52I was your brother's roommate at Bates.
30:54Oh.
30:56Hello.
30:57I can't move my feet.
31:04Allie, you got a second?
31:05Sure.
31:06I just want to drop off a questionnaire for you to fill out at your convenience about
31:11my speech.
31:12It should just take a few seconds.
31:14A questionnaire about your speech?
31:16Yeah, feedback's very important.
31:18You know, I actually, uh, lend great import to test scores.
31:20So, rate one to five, five being the highest, uh, for each category, pace, sincerity, overall
31:26performance.
31:27Yeah, I, I never trust applause.
31:30You know, it can be disingenuous since I am a founding partner.
31:32But, uh, I thank you in advance for your candor.
31:35Oh, great speech.
31:37Oh.
31:38Allie, I got Whip or Cone here.
31:40She can't find Richard.
31:41She thought you might have a few ideas as to where he might be physically as opposed to
31:45emotionally.
31:46Maybe you can tell her where to go.
31:47Hey.
31:52Hi.
31:53Richard?
31:54Richard, are you in here?
31:56Richard, I know you're in here.
31:57You said this is where you go to talk.
31:59The Whip is here with me.
32:01If you're in there, Nucky, please come out.
32:03Nucky?
32:03Shh.
32:08He's not in there.
32:09He lifts up his feet.
32:10Richard, are you here?
32:11No.
32:12Oh, Richard.
32:14For God's sake, come out, will you?
32:16We need to talk.
32:16Come on, dude.
32:19No, no, no, no, no, no.
32:20Whatever she has to say, I want witnesses.
32:22And if she convinces me to take her back, I want you both just to talk me out of it.
32:24No, I think that you and I need to talk alone.
32:26Anything you have to say, say it.
32:28And briefly.
32:31I'm sorry.
32:33I've never done anything like that before.
32:34So why did you do it this time?
32:36You're here as a witness.
32:37Sorry.
32:38No, I'd like to hear the answer to that.
32:39Why did you do it?
32:40I don't know why.
32:40That's a lie.
32:41Why?
32:41I could tell you.
32:48I just don't know if you'd understand it.
32:54This handsome man that I barely knew just stepped up to me and said, you're a very beautiful
32:58woman.
32:58I know this is a ridiculous question, but would you mind terribly if I kissed you?
33:02And I thought, no, I wouldn't mind.
33:07It would be nice.
33:10See, 20 years ago, I would have slapped his face because stuff like that happened all the
33:13time.
33:14People would look at me.
33:15They'd come up to me.
33:16But now, I just thought, oh, wonderful.
33:23And I kissed him.
33:25And I'm sorry.
33:26Richard, because it's not about you or us, and because I do love you.
33:38But if this is you loving him...
33:40Witness.
33:42Sorry.
33:43No, okay, what about that, Wip?
33:44I mean, you do this now.
33:44I'm not even 30.
33:45What about when I'm old and gray, if not bald?
33:47Eh?
33:48Richard, I think anybody could be guilty of an indiscretion.
33:51Once.
33:53Oh!
33:56Great.
33:59They love each other.
34:02This is all my fault.
34:07Allie, we need to talk.
34:09I can't talk to you now.
34:09I have to talk to Richard.
34:10I'll talk to you.
34:11How about never is never good?
34:12I hated your speech.
34:16You snappish.
34:22You have to give her a second chance, Richard.
34:24Why?
34:24Because I think you love her.
34:26And because whoever said that plenty of fish in the sea thing was lying.
34:30Sometimes there's only one fish.
34:33Trust me.
34:36Hey, private!
34:40Do you...
34:40Do you think he heard that?
34:43I can't see how.
34:44He had to be at least a yard away.
34:48Do you love her, Richard?
34:49I'm not sure.
34:51I think so, but it could be...
34:54Maybe it's just the waddle.
34:58Excuse me?
34:59On her neck.
34:59That's what I go for with older women.
35:01The loose skin on the neck.
35:03The hint of a waddle.
35:05There's nothing more arousing for me.
35:06The way it just gently hangs there and whip her.
35:09I mean, her neck's pretty tight now, but you can see the potential.
35:12It'll be perfect.
35:13So perfect.
35:14I wonder, do I really love her, or is it just the impending waddle that just makes me crazy?
35:19Well, that's always the question.
35:21But even if there's a possibility that you love her, or in time, those are the chances you have to take.
35:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:35She's, um...
35:36She said she'd be waiting for you in the bathroom.
35:41Yeah.
35:43Okay.
35:44Okay.
35:48Look, I don't care if my company is represented by this law firm, but I'd like to see you again.
35:54You have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into.
35:58Well, that would be the fun part.
36:00I...
36:00I can't.
36:02Maybe next week.
36:04All right, next week.
36:05It'll be fine.
36:06I'll call you.
36:09A two?
36:10Excuse me?
36:11My questionnaire.
36:12You gave me a two.
36:14Total.
36:15You asked for candor.
36:18More honest to solicit a hooker?
36:20I mean, please, you tell me what you would have scored.
36:22In sincerity.
36:23Five.
36:24Under additional comments, you wrote imp?
36:26Look, John, I'm sorry.
36:28I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
36:30I just...
36:30I was offended by what you said, and I just don't understand how you can possibly...
36:35You know what?
36:36Just, um, forget it.
36:40Allie, can I ask you a question?
36:41Anything.
36:42How often do you have sexual relations?
36:44Not that!
36:45You can't ask me that!
36:46You don't even know me!
36:47My point is, I'm a single man who works all the time, and I go years, sometimes, without.
36:54Do men just have to have it?
37:02On occasion?
37:03Yes.
37:05Now, maybe my sincerity score should be docked to a four, because I suggested that I can go
37:09into a bar and hit on a woman for a one-night stand sort of thing.
37:13I mean, the truth is that that is not an option for me, whatever a woman's, uh, vision of an evening of passion may be.
37:21I mean, I rarely find myself in the picture.
37:23Well, it's, um, still not an excuse for...
37:28Allie, when I was in high school, I picked up a nickname which follows me to this day.
37:36You know what they call me?
37:38Um, no.
37:40The Little Biscuit.
37:45They, um, used to call me the Popsicle.
37:53Being sorry isn't enough.
37:55If a person were capable of forgiving, it would be.
37:57Oh, right.
37:57So it's my fault.
37:58I'm to blame.
37:58I'm to blame, damn it.
38:00I'm owning that.
38:02Oh, Richard.
38:03I just, I can't.
38:08Here.
38:08No.
38:09Would you?
38:12Look.
38:14Don't do this.
38:16Richard.
38:16Ah!
38:18No.
38:20No.
38:21No.
38:21You can't just undo things with sex every time.
38:24Okay.
38:25Oh.
38:27This is not fair.
38:28It's never fair.
38:32I...
38:33Oh.
38:36Touch it.
38:37Touch it.
38:42Touch it.
38:43I just, I can't.
38:45Shh.
38:47Just touch it.
38:50Touch it.
38:51Touch it.
38:54Oh.
38:55Oh.
38:56Oh.
38:56Oh.
38:57Oh.
39:01Oh.
39:03Oh.
39:03Oh.
39:07Hey.
39:07Billy.
39:08Billy.
39:10Hi.
39:11Hi.
39:13Why do you care so much?
39:17Excuse me?
39:18About Whipper and Richard, whether they get back together.
39:20Why do you care?
39:21I don't know.
39:26It's, it's, um, probably, you know, being around Elaine so much, and part of hers rubbed off on me,
39:33and now I have this desire to butt into everybody else's business.
39:36really?
39:37Why?
39:46Why?
39:50I think I need to believe that it works.
39:54What works?
39:55love, couplehood
39:58partnerships
40:01the idea that when people come together
40:06they stay together
40:07I have to take that with me when I go to bed at night
40:10even if I'm going to bed alone
40:12that's a McBealism
40:25Pearl's a singer
40:27she stands up when she plays the piano
40:35in the night
40:40Pearl's a singer
40:44she sings songs for the lost and the lonely
40:52her job is entertaining folks
40:58maybe it's because they say
41:01love is about learning to compromise
41:03and that's why they all get themselves into compromising positions
41:07they can call it research
41:08whatever the secret is
41:11I don't think I'm gaining on it
41:13I don't need the answers
41:19I've got friends
41:21I've got hope
41:22I've got twins
41:24She wanted to be Betty Graven
41:29But now she sits there at that beer-stained table
41:40Dreaming of things she never got to do
41:47All those dreams
41:49That never came true
41:53B
42:08That never came true
42:09Tr에et schönes