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00:00Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the junction, forget about
00:12your cares, it is time to relax at the junction, lots of curves, you'll bet, even more when
00:22you get to the junction, Petticoat Junction, there's a little hotel called the Shady Rest
00:34at the junction, Petticoat Junction, it is run by Kate, come and be her guest at the
00:41junction, Petticoat Junction, and that's Uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow at the junction,
00:49Petticoat Junction.
00:50Train's comin', Kate.
00:51Yeah, I heard.
00:52I was just sittin' there about half- Oh, Mama, do you think maybe there's a-
01:21That'll be six for lunch, Billy Joe.
01:26Yeah, the way Charlie and Floyd eat, that's the same as eight.
01:28Oh, I hope there's some good-lookin' young fellas for a change.
01:32Did you hear that, Kate?
01:35You've got yourself a problem with that one.
01:38Nothing on her mind but boys.
01:40Yeah.
01:42Just like I've gone and raised myself a normal, healthy girl.
02:10This is Shady Rest, we're stoppin' here for lunch.
02:13There's nothin' here but a water tower.
02:14Yeah, a water tower.
02:16Hey, fireman?
02:18I'm the conductor now.
02:21This train's supposed to go through to Pixley, we figured on eatin' lunch there.
02:24Yeah, there.
02:25Boys, you never had a finer meal than Kate Bradley cooks.
02:31And that's the truth, boys.
02:32That's right.
02:34And today is spare ribs and sauerkraut day.
02:37Mashed potatoes, hot biscuits, I'll see you up there.
02:42Hey, did you hear that, Arthur?
02:44Yeah.
02:45I hate ribs and sauerkraut.
02:47Yeah, me too.
02:49Charlie, if you could run that train as fast as you run for food, you'd really have somethin'.
02:56And, Joe, you quit ridin' me about and I'll eat.
02:58I work hard and there's a lot of me to feed.
03:01Yeah, for a big man, Charlie's a very small eater.
03:05That's true.
03:06In one meal, he'd eat a small turkey, a small roast and a small ham.
03:10Hello there.
03:11Hi, Mrs. Bradley.
03:12Welcome.
03:13Boys, you signaled six for lunch.
03:18We had six.
03:19Well, two young fellas want to go on into Pixley and eat.
03:22Well, don't worry, Kate, I'll go sell on a bill of goods.
03:25Well, come on, boys.
03:28Did you say young fellas, Floyd?
03:31Yeah, nice lookin', too.
03:40I hope those hicks eat fast.
03:42Gotta make it into Pixley in time to case that bank before it closes.
03:46Yeah, closes.
03:48Hey, put that away, you jerk.
03:51Told you to keep both our guns out of sight.
03:53I'm sorry.
03:55Hey, boys, you're sure missin' a good meal.
03:59Sauerkraut and spare ribs.
04:00All you can eat for 50 cents.
04:08How about it?
04:09You comin' up for lunch?
04:10No, no, we don't like spare ribs and sauerkraut.
04:13Speak for yourself.
04:16Yeah, we'll be right there.
04:19Let's go.
04:20Hey, wait a minute, Arthur.
04:21I thought you said you didn't like spare ribs and sauerkraut.
04:24That was before I saw the appetizer.
04:27Oh, Billy, you should have been here sooner.
04:29I told your mother I was gonna sell those boys a bill of goods.
04:32Just did.
04:38Yeah, thanks.
04:39Oh, Kate, that was wonderful.
04:41You're wonderful, Kate.
04:43Finish up, everybody.
04:44The train leaves in five minutes.
04:46Surely I'll have another pie in the kitchen.
04:48Oh?
04:49Well, take your time, folks.
04:50Train leaves in half an hour.
04:53Good thing there's only one more pie.
04:55You never would make it into Pixley.
04:57Don't forget, Uncle Joe, we don't stop here tomorrow.
05:01Bank shipment day, huh?
05:02Yeah.
05:04Uh, bank shipment day?
05:06Once a month, we haul the bank shipment from Hooterville to Pixley.
05:09And on that day, we highball her straight through.
05:12Yeah.
05:13That bank shipping has to get on into Pixley on time.
05:17Hey, Arthur.
05:18Oh, my ribs!
05:20What's the matter?
05:21Uh, he, uh, uh, ate too many ribs.
05:25Yeah, ribs.
05:28I, uh, suppose you probably carry armed guards on bank shipment day, huh?
05:33Armed guards?
05:34Shucks, no.
05:36Oh?
05:37Uh, carry guns yourselves?
05:39Floyd and me carry guns?
05:41Never.
05:43Hey, Arthur, did you...
05:48I think I better walk him around a little.
05:50He's had too much to eat.
05:52Excuse us, please.
05:53But, boys, here's the pie.
05:55Well, thank you kindly, but we've had plenty.
05:57It was a wonderful meal.
05:59Yeah, wonderful.
06:00Nice, polite young fellows.
06:02Real gentlemen.
06:04I spotted that right away, Kate.
06:07That's why I sold them the bill of goods to come up for lunch.
06:10Well, I'm glad you did.
06:11We don't, uh, see too many nice-looking young men around here, do we, uh...
06:16Billy Joe?
06:17Gee, I don't know.
06:18How many's too many?
06:21It's been the night here.
06:23I thought we were going into Pixley and...
06:25I'll go over to the bank.
06:26Give me that, you knucklehead.
06:28I'm sorry.
06:30Now, look, we don't have to go into Pixley at all.
06:32All we gotta do is grab that bank shipment right off the train tomorrow.
06:35Yeah, but they say that the train doesn't stop when they carry...
06:37So we'll stop it.
06:39Yeah, stop it.
06:41How?
06:43Leave that to me, will ya?
06:46Uncle Joe, you and your stories.
06:48Wish we could stay overnight, Kate.
06:50But we gotta get on into Pixley.
06:52Hey.
06:53I'll bet I could talk them young fellas into spending the night here.
06:56They're a pushover for my sales pitch.
06:58Well, fine, Uncle Joe.
07:05Tomorrow morning, we go up the track and pile the railroad ties on it.
07:11Oh, you haven't got over it yet, huh?
07:13No, not yet.
07:15Well, sir, boys, we've got the softest beds here you ever slept in.
07:18How about spending the night?
07:20Great. We'll do it.
07:21We'll do it.
07:27Kate, I may take a couple of months off and go on the road.
07:30What?
07:31I never realized what a dynamic salesman I am.
07:36People just can't say no to me.
07:39Fine way you fellas run a railroad.
07:41Kate and me have to waste her valuable time
07:43come all the way into Hooterville here just to get to Pixley.
07:45Now, you listen, Joe.
07:48You know good and well we don't make no stops on bank shipment day.
07:52That's right.
07:53We highball her right straight through to Pixley.
07:56Highball her?
07:57Why, a turtle could beat that turtle.
07:59Well, I don't think so.
08:00Well, I don't think so.
08:01Well, I don't think so.
08:02Well, I don't think so.
08:03Well, I don't think so.
08:04Well, I don't think so.
08:05Well, I don't think so.
08:06Well, I don't think so.
08:07Well, a turtle could beat that train into Pixley.
08:10Well, why don't you ride a turtle?
08:12I would, but Kate's on that train and I don't want to get there ahead of her.
08:15Uncle Joe, would you stop teasing the boys so we can get going?
08:19Better do as the boss says.
08:21Boss?
08:23Listen, you steam jonkeys.
08:25I'm the boss out at the Shady Rest Hotel and don't you forget it.
08:29Uncle Joe?
08:31Coming, Kate.
08:34I'm the boss out there, but here in Hooterville I kind of let her have her way.
08:40All right, let's get this thing in the baggage car.
08:42Kate and me's got a lot of business at the bank.
08:53You know, three can carry that easier than two.
08:56Yeah.
08:58Why, shame on you.
09:00Do you expect Kate to get off the train and come out here and help you?
09:04No, we expect you to help.
09:06Me?
09:08You boys know that I'm carrying two pounds of shrapnel from World War I.
09:12Well, take it out of your pocket, put it down and help him with that chest.
09:16Oh, we can handle it, Kate. I was just teasing him.
09:19Kate, Joe says you got business at the Pixley Bank today.
09:24Yeah, I'm going to try and get one of those improvement loans.
09:27I got an idea to improve the front porch.
09:29So have I. Keep him off of it.
09:32Come on, Uncle Joe.
09:34I wouldn't talk about improvements if I ran a train like the Hooterville greaseball.
09:38Uncle Joe.
09:39That's cannonball.
09:41And we're pulling out in one minute.
09:44We'll be aboard. Now, just don't go too fast.
09:47Yeah, you might hit a chipmunk and derail the whole train.
09:52Chipmunk.
09:55Uncle Joe, I'm kind of worried.
09:58Me too. I worry every time I ride this thing.
10:01Oh, not about the train. I was wondering if we did right leaving the girls alone with those two boys.
10:07You mean Arthur Gilroy and Lowell Reitmeyer?
10:09Uh-huh.
10:10Well, you can relax. I think they're two of the finest young men I've ever met.
10:15Oh, you think so?
10:16Kate, if there's one thing I am, it's a great judge of character.
10:19It's in the eyes.
10:21There's an old saying, eyes wide apart, goodness in the heart.
10:25Eyes close together, look out for stormy weather.
10:28Who said that?
10:30A very wise man.
10:34You?
10:37Yeah.
10:55There she comes. This is it.
11:16Yeah, it.
11:19Boy, it looks like somebody's paddled some tires on the track.
11:22You going to stop?
11:23Of course I'm going to stop.
11:24Good, I can use them for firewood.
11:37What in the world?
11:39Probably hit a chipmunk.
11:42What?
11:44Probably hit a chipmunk.
11:47Well, Charlie and Floyd have never stopped here before.
11:51Well, there's chipmunks all up and down the line.
11:54Hey, we finally did it. We made the big time.
11:57We're getting held up.
11:58Move. Come on.
12:00Now, let's get this straight, the whole bunch of you.
12:03One false move and I'll blow you all to bits.
12:05Yeah, to bits.
12:07Bits? Well, my goodness, there's nothing on this train that you...
12:10Wait a minute, Kate. I'd better handle this.
12:12Now, see here, young fella, if this is your idea of a joke...
12:16I didn't say it was my idea of a joke.
12:18Kate, you better handle this. Them's real killers if I ever seen one.
12:21You ain't just a kiddin', mister.
12:23All right, everybody into the baggage car.
12:25You heard him. You first, Mrs. Brad... Lady.
12:33Lola Whitemire.
12:35Rightmire.
12:37And that's Arthur.
12:38It is neither.
12:40Start movin'.
12:42What do you know, Charlie? It's Lowell and Arthur.
12:44Howdy, boys. Holdin' up the train, huh?
12:46Sure picked a nice day for it.
12:48Better than you two. Them's desperate criminals.
12:50You wanna get us all killed?
12:51Oh, Uncle Joe, it's only Arthur and Lowell.
12:55The same two you liked so much a few minutes ago.
12:58Well, that was before I noticed their eyes were so close set.
13:01See what I mean?
13:02What's the matter? You all deaf?
13:04Everybody into the baggage car.
13:06Silliest thing I ever heard of.
13:08Come on, move.
13:12Darn you. What'd you wear your glasses for?
13:14Well, because my mother makes me. You know that.
13:17If I don't, I get headaches.
13:20All right. Everybody out of my way.
13:23We're gonna crack open the bank shipment.
13:25Yeah, the bank shipment.
13:27We had this caper case pretty darn good.
13:30Lowell, stop trying to talk like a roughneck.
13:34And take off that handkerchief. It looks terrible.
13:36Hey, leave that mask alone.
13:37It's all right, Arthur. It was killing my sinuses anyway.
13:41Take yours off, too. We know who you are.
13:44Don't get him riled up. I know these vicious characters.
13:46They just as soon kill you as look at you.
13:48Arthur and Lowell?
13:49I don't care if it is Arthur and Lowell.
13:51They've gone stark raven mad.
13:53Why don't you shut up?
13:54Arthur, I wish you wouldn't be so hard on Uncle Joe's stomach.
13:58I've seen pin cushions treated gentler.
14:01Talk's too much.
14:02Now, get this straight, all of you.
14:03This is a holdup, not a clam bake.
14:05And I got a mighty itchy finger.
14:08Have you tried soaking it in Epsom salts?
14:10I had a brother-in-law once who...
14:12Quiet!
14:14Lowell, get an axe and chop the lock off that bank shipment.
14:17Where am I gonna get an axe?
14:19There's one right back there.
14:22Yeah, but it says, use only in case of fire.
14:26Would you like me to light a match?
14:28That'd legal it up.
14:29I'm asking for it, Kate.
14:31They'll cut you to ribbons.
14:32Shh, Uncle Joe, they'll poke you in the stomach again.
14:35Arthur, what do you need an axe for?
14:37Look.
14:40I ain't had a key since the trade rat run off with it four or five years ago.
14:44Left us some real nice licorice drops in exchange.
14:48Quiet!
14:49Come on, Lowell, get that box open.
14:52Let's get the money and get out of here.
14:54Okay, Chief.
14:55Wait.
14:59I'd like to offer you nice crooks a little advice.
15:02This box is federal property,
15:04and if you open it, it'll bring the F.B.I. and the government bloodhounds a-howlin' on your trail.
15:09Remember, I'm just telling you this as a friend.
15:14That Joe don't make friends too easy, does he?
15:16Joe, I know that's smart, but it'll take your mind off your tummy for a spell.
15:21Go ahead, Lowell, open the box.
15:25Hey, Arthur, look!
15:30What kind of a bank shipment is this?
15:32Deposit slips, mostly.
15:34If you boys open an account, you'll have a lifetime supply.
15:37But that wouldn't do us any good.
15:39We don't live around here.
15:46What happened to the money?
15:47Money on this train?
15:49You mean we went to all this trouble for deposit slips?
15:53Why, heck no.
15:54There's blotters and checks and ballpoint pens and paper clips.
15:59Lifetime supply of those, too.
16:02Good going, Lowell. You made quite a haul.
16:04That ain't even counting the gorgonzola cheese and six sacks of fertilizer.
16:10Arthur, you better face it.
16:12There's nothing worth taking in this whole neighborhood.
16:16I wouldn't say that, Kate.
16:21Don't pay any attention to him. He has the craziest sense of humor.
16:26There's nothing that would interest a couple of important desperados like you.
16:31Kate Bradley, how can you stand there and fib like that?
16:34You with that big safe right behind the desk in your own hotel.
16:38She keeps all the guest valuables there, you know.
16:42Lloyd, why don't I give you the combination and you can hand it over to him?
16:47You locking the safe now?
16:52That does it.
16:53Take Charlie up front, get the ties off the track and get this heap started.
16:56We're heading back for the hotel.
16:58You want to see that Billy Joe again, huh?
17:00Billy Joe and a safe full of valuables.
17:03Come on, let's go.
17:04All right, everybody.
17:06Back in the passenger car.
17:10Lloyd, how do you do it?
17:12Do what?
17:14Your mouth isn't any bigger than anybody else's.
17:17How do you manage to get both feet in it?
17:41Okay, come on, come on.
17:43Come on, move it.
17:44You too, ma'am.
17:46Come on.
17:48Okay, now everybody follow me up to the hotel.
17:51Come on, come on, move.
17:52All right, all right.
17:53When I say move, I mean move.
17:54All right, all right.
17:57I don't know what's come over that young fella.
17:59He was so nice this morning.
18:01Well, he's a regular Dr. Jekyll and Mr., what's his name?
18:03Hyde.
18:05Yeah, that's a good idea.
18:07Here, Charlie, hold it.
18:10Hey.
18:12I told you no more funny stuff.
18:13Get up out of there.
18:14All right, all right.
18:15Come on, everybody follow me up to the hotel.
18:17Yeah, hotel.
18:20Lowell, carry this for me, will you?
18:22Oh, sure, Mrs. Bradley.
18:24Can I carry a gun for you?
18:25Oh, no, it's all right.
18:26I can manage.
18:27Yeah, manage.
18:29Nothing, Lowell, nothing.
18:35Hi.
18:36Hi, Billy.
18:37All right, everybody inside.
18:39Come on, come on.
18:41What are you doing, Arthur?
18:42Hold it.
18:43You'll see, doll.
18:45Where are you going?
18:46To sort my mail.
18:47Come on, Flora.
18:48Wait a minute.
18:49Where do you think you're going?
18:50We're going to put the groceries in the kitchen.
18:52That's all right, son.
18:54Now, what are you doing?
18:55Well, I got groceries, too.
18:57Give me that.
18:59Get that out in the kitchen.
19:00Yes, sir.
19:01And see that you come right back.
19:02Yes, sir.
19:03Now, don't try anything funny, any of you.
19:05Arthur, what are you doing with the gun?
19:07Oh, he and Babyface Whitemire held up the tray.
19:10I know right, my R.I.P.
19:12Shut up, you nut.
19:14Where's your gun?
19:17I left it in the sack.
19:19In the sack?
19:20Yeah, sack.
19:21Hey, look what I found.
19:24And don't try anything else.
19:26Buster.
19:27Now, you listen, Arthur.
19:28You stop poking Uncle Joe so hard
19:30or I'm going to take a stick to you.
19:33What's the matter with everybody around here?
19:35Can't you see we're desperate criminals?
19:37You're all in danger.
19:38Look, this is a real gun
19:39and I'm going to blow a hole
19:40on the first creep who gets out of line.
19:42Mom, you know what this is?
19:44This is a perfect case of paranoid schizophrenia.
19:47Well, don't call him any names.
19:48You're looking at a mad dog killer.
19:49Shut up or you'll get bit.
19:51Okay, now where's the safe?
19:53Oh, no.
19:55Arthur, you stay away from here.
19:58Ha.
19:59I bet he did.
20:00What's the matter with you?
20:01There's nothing in the safe.
20:02Ho, ho, ho, ho.
20:04I'm overworked, Mrs. Bradley.
20:05I wasn't born yesterday.
20:07Yeah, his birthday is June the 10th.
20:08Come on, get out of the way.
20:09Arthur, please don't.
20:10Come on, move.
20:12Hey, it's open. We're in luck.
20:13Yeah, in luck.
20:19Betty Jo Bradley.
20:22I'm sorry, Mom.
20:27Hey, those must be pretty valuable cats.
20:30How many times have I told you
20:31that the safe is no place for Miranda?
20:34But that's where she always likes to have her kittens.
20:37What a kooky joint.
20:39Yeah, paws and slips and then cats.
20:42What are we going to do now, Arthur?
20:44I'm not licked yet.
20:45Come on, everybody out of here.
20:47Out along the counter. Come on, move.
20:48Yeah, the counter. Come on.
20:50Line up out along the counter, Mrs. Bradley.
20:52There's got to be something valuable around here.
20:54I've got an old army cut Benedict Arno slept in.
20:59Come on.
21:00Empty the pockets and dump the valuables on the counter.
21:03Oh, my goodness, look at the time.
21:04Come on, girls.
21:07Wait a minute.
21:08Who said you could leave?
21:10Well, it's 5 o'clock.
21:12We have to start fixing dinner.
21:13Didn't you hear what I said about the valuables?
21:16Oh, they'll still be here after dinner.
21:20You're welcome to stay, Arthur.
21:22Yeah, but I've got a gun.
21:24You can't just walk...
21:26Where are you going?
21:27Well, I thought I'd help him set the table.
21:29It's the least I can do.
21:32Wow, we've got to get some wood on the fire.
21:34Come on, Floyd.
21:35Yeah, the baller probably is getting thirsty, too.
21:37Yeah.
21:38Come back here, both of you.
21:39Oh, don't worry about a thing.
21:40We'll be back for dinner.
21:42Doesn't anybody listen to me around here?
21:45Hey!
21:46Where do you think you're going?
21:47No place.
21:48I was just opening the door
21:49to let in a little fresh air for you, not for me.
21:52Come on.
21:53Get lost.
21:54Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
21:56Um, more dessert, anybody?
21:58No, thank you.
22:00Well, I think you can clear off, girls.
22:02Help you, Billy.
22:03Yeah, Billy.
22:05I mean, Bobby.
22:07I, uh, think that the two of us can handle this alone.
22:10Oh, I know, but, uh, why not let the girls help us?
22:15Um, I'm afraid I can't.
22:18I'm afraid I can't.
22:20I'm afraid I can't.
22:22I'm afraid I can't.
22:24Um, you're right, Lola.
22:26Let the girls help.
22:28Mama, what are we going to do about Uncle Joe?
22:30Oh, uh, keep his, um, dish warm in the oven.
22:34And if he's to be found, Betty Jo will find him.
22:37Right this way, fellas.
22:43You know, Kate, they're not bad boys.
22:45Of course they're not.
22:47All they need is jobs to keep them out of mischief.
22:50Mother! Mother!
22:52I think Uncle Joe's here.
22:54I saw a lantern coming across the meadow.
22:56It must be Uncle Joe.
22:57Now, where could that man have been?
22:59Must have been important for him to miss a meal.
23:02Follow me, officer.
23:03You better have your gun out.
23:04These are desperate criminals.
23:06They've escaped.
23:07Uncle Joe.
23:08They've taken Billy and Bobby as hostage.
23:10Uncle Joe.
23:11How'd it happen?
23:12Joe, the boys are in the kitchen.
23:15I hope you got them tied up tight.
23:17They're a couple of real mad dog killers.
23:19Officer.
23:20Trooper Benson, ma'am.
23:21A gentleman flagged me down on the county road.
23:23It's Joe Carson.
23:24It's C-A-R-S-O-N, in case the newspapers ask.
23:27I escaped from the bandits at the risk of my life.
23:30They're not bandits.
23:32Arthur, Lowell, come in here, please.
23:34Better have your gun ready. They're vicious.
23:40Don't let those aprons fool you. Arrest them.
23:43The boys or the girls?
23:46Officer, I'm awfully sorry that Uncle Joe sent you on this wild goose chase,
23:51but these boys are not criminals.
23:54They held up a train, didn't they, Charlie?
23:56Yeah, for about five minutes.
23:59Yeah, five.
24:01Officer, won't you sit down and have some food?
24:05No, thank you, ma'am. I have to get back to my car.
24:07It's quite a little walk from here.
24:09Good night, everyone.
24:11Good night. Thank you.
24:12If they had a gun,
24:13I got a black-and-blue stomach to prove it.
24:16Well, Arthur, let's get back to the dishes.
24:19Yeah. Dishes.
24:27Kate, what's the matter with everybody?
24:29Them boys had guns. You saw them.
24:31As a matter of fact, I got them.
24:37I'm gonna have this one for dessert.
24:39Dessert?
24:43Best licorice I've tasted in a long time.
25:13This has been a Filmways presentation.
25:43© BF-WATCH TV 2021