Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Come ride the little train that is rollin' down the tracks to the junction, forget about
00:12your cares, it is time to relax at the junction, lots of curves, you bet, even more when you
00:23get to the junction.
00:26Petticoat Junction.
00:31There's a little hotel called the Shady Rest at the junction.
00:36Petticoat Junction.
00:38It is run by Kate, come and be her guest at the junction.
00:43Petticoat Junction.
00:45And that circle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow at the junction.
00:50Petticoat Junction.
00:52Petticoat Junction.
01:23Billy?
01:25Billy Joe, would you step out here a minute?
01:30What do you want, Herbie?
01:31Look up there, Billy, it's Mistletoe.
01:40Billy Joe, I need you.
01:52All right, Herbie, what'd you do this time?
01:55I got kissed.
01:59That sure was annoying.
02:02Billy Joe.
02:04It's Christmas, Mom.
02:05Oh, all right.
02:07Start gettin' our Christmas stuff together in the back room.
02:09Floyd and Charlie will be along in a minute now.
02:11Okay.
02:12I'll help you, Billy Joe.
02:14Oh, that kid.
02:16Stealin' a kiss right out here in the store.
02:18Oh, Sam, it's Christmas.
02:20Remember when you were a boy?
02:22Yeah.
02:23I ain't a boy any longer, Kate.
02:25But if I understand this custom of kissin' under the mistletoe,
02:28there ain't any particular age limit on who can and who can't.
02:31Sam, you talk too much.
02:47What happened, Mr. Drucker?
02:49I got kissed.
02:53All right, kids, all three of you.
02:55We got a lot of work to do before dark.
02:57Boy, I'll say we have.
02:58We got Christmas baskets to pack and presents to wrap
03:01and carols to rehearse.
03:02And a tree to cut and a voice to string.
03:04And a sleigh and reindeer to touch up.
03:06And the whole hood of Bill Cannonball to decorate.
03:16I could use a little more pressure, Floyd.
03:18We'll be right up.
03:20Will you stop burnin' the ties from under this track?
03:23Only burnin' the loose ones, Charlie.
03:25If you keep takin' up the ties,
03:27what's gonna hold the rails down?
03:29Well, the train's pretty heavy, even without you.
03:34I'll tell you where there's some ties loose.
03:36In your head.
03:38Oh, that's just stupid, Charlie.
03:40I don't take up enough to hurt anything.
03:42You've been a-sayin' that for years.
03:44One of these days, we're gonna find ourselves
03:46out there plowin' up them fields with our cowcatchers.
03:49Gee whiz, Charlie, don't be yellin' at me
03:51so close to Christmas.
03:53Oh, I'm sorry, Floyd, but you gotta admit
03:56that Christmas Eve would be a mighty poor time
03:58for the Cannonball to run off the track.
04:00All decorated up,
04:02carrying a trainload of carol singers
04:04and presents and all.
04:06Speaking of presents, what do you got over there
04:08in that big package with my name on it?
04:10That's a rubber crowbar
04:12so you can't pry up no more loose ties.
04:15Let's smoke on that fire and let's highball it.
04:17Why, we might even be on time today.
04:46Well, Mr. Curtis, what about it?
04:48An inspection trip at Christmas time?
04:50I'd be glad to work on Christmas, New Year's, any day
04:53if it's for the good of the CNFW Railroad.
04:55Oh, now, look, Redlow, I realize you're trying
04:57to regain your position as vice president,
04:59but nobody expects you to work at Christmas.
05:01That's just it. They won't be expecting me.
05:04But who is they?
05:06Do you know of some particular violation of CNFW rules?
05:09Yes, I do,
05:11and I understand it goes on every year
05:13at this time.
05:15Well, who is it? What is it? Where?
05:17Oh, Mr. Curtis, I think in all fairness
05:19I shouldn't name names or places
05:21until I make an on-the-spot personal inspection.
05:24Well, speaking as president of the railroad,
05:27I've got to admire your devotion to the company,
05:30but speaking personally, I think you're a nut.
05:33Thank you, sir.
05:35Oh, that report will be on your desk the day after Christmas.
05:38Would you please come in, Miss Evans?
05:40Merry Christmas, Miss Evans!
05:43Mr. Curtis, did I actually see a smile
05:47and hear a Merry Christmas from old Scrooge?
05:50I mean, Mr. Bedlow.
05:52You did.
05:54And heaven help Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim,
05:57whoever they may be.
05:59Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam.
06:02Hey, fellas, where's the rest of the train?
06:05Hey, Charlie, we lost the coach.
06:07I can see that, Floyd.
06:09Did you fix that coupler like I told you?
06:12Let's see now. Did I or didn't I?
06:14Let me think.
06:16Just back up and get the coach.
06:18We got to decorate this whole train before dark.
06:20Wait a minute. It's coming back to me.
06:23Yeah, I didn't fix it.
06:25How come the air brakes didn't stop us
06:27if you connected the air hose?
06:29Let's see now. Did I or didn't I?
06:32Let's see now. Did I or didn't I?
06:35You didn't.
06:37Yeah, I didn't.
06:39Well, you kept hurrying me, Charlie.
06:41Fellas, please, back this thing up and get the coach.
06:45Calm down, Sam. We're backing.
06:54Where's the train going?
06:56Oh, Floyd forgot to fix the coupler
06:58and connect the air hose, and they lost the coach.
07:01Poor Floyd. He always gets so excited around Christmas.
07:12Lower down, Charlie. We're almost to it.
07:14I can see it, too, Smokey.
07:22Okay, Floyd, hook up the air hose.
07:24Let's get back to Sam.
07:32Hurry up, Floyd!
07:49Why'd you do that, Charlie?
07:51I'm trying to break your burning railroad ties.
07:53That one was just laying there, begging to be burned.
07:56Well, it's like any other habit, Floyd.
07:59Floyd, if you're gonna break it,
08:01you've got to go cold turkey, no tapering off.
08:04See, Charlie, sometimes you treat me like a six-year-old child.
08:07Sometimes you act like a six-year-old child,
08:10which just shows you can be intelligent when you try.
08:30Mr., if you're looking for the cannonball, you missed it.
08:33It was due through here two or three hours ago.
08:35Don't tell me it runs on schedule now.
08:37Well, it does today.
08:39You see, the boys have got to get the train out to the shady rest
08:42so Kate and the girls can decorate it tonight for...
08:47Lobby Dog God,
08:49this is the first time in 14 years it's been late on Christmas Eve.
08:53And it'll be late tonight.
08:56Hey, Charlie, that looks like Mr. Bedloe back at the station.
08:59What would he be doing here Christmas Eve?
09:02Maybe he brought us a present.
09:04Floyd, you are really in bad shape today.
09:07Bark, bark, bark!
09:15Hi, Mr. Bedloe.
09:17I'm a little late on Christmas Eve,
09:19but I'm sure you'll be all right.
09:23I thought they'd never get back.
09:26Hurry up, everybody.
09:28You go ahead. I'll lock up.
09:32Mr., unless you like pumping a hand car,
09:34you better start running for that train.
09:36I don't like pumping and I don't like running.
09:38What about your taxi?
09:40It can't run on the railroad track, and that's the only road.
09:42Now, the hand car's right over there.
09:44I'm not pumping any hand car!
09:53Hey, wait!
09:55Oh, wait a minute!
09:57Stop the train!
10:01Hey, wait!
10:09Here you are, mister.
10:11Have a nice trip, and a merry Christmas.
10:14Ah, humbug!
10:22Oh!
10:47Come on, Floyd, hurry up.
10:49Let's get the decorations out of here.
10:51You go on up and tell your sisters and Uncle Joe
10:53to get down here on the double and help us.
10:55All right, Mom. I'll go help her tell them.
10:57Hurry up, Floyd. It's gonna get dark on us.
10:59Now, Sam, don't you start yelling at me
11:01like Charlie's been doing.
11:03It makes me nervous and I forget things.
11:05All right, Floyd. Open the door.
11:07Charlie yelling at me made me forget to fix the coupling,
11:10made me forget to connect the air hose.
11:13Floyd, nobody's yelling.
11:15It made me forget something else, too.
11:17Now I forget what it is. Dog gunning.
11:19Now I remember.
11:21What? Sounds like a cow's in there.
11:24Yeah, I was supposed to leave it off at Lon Hocker's place.
11:27Christmas present for his wife.
11:35Floyd Smoot, we was supposed to deliver that cow someplace.
11:39Now where?
11:40You yelled at me again, Charlie.
11:42Now I forget.
11:43Lon Hocker's place.
11:45That's right, Floyd.
11:47See? To Ludi with love from Lon.
11:50Here's wishing you a white Christmas.
11:54White Christmas. Milk. Get it?
11:58Floyd, you are the dumbest ash cat that ever shook a grate.
12:02I ain't an ash cat now, Charlie.
12:04I'm a baggage wrestler.
12:06Well, rassle that cow out of the way
12:08and give us the decorations.
12:10Charlie, hadn't we ought to take this cow back over to Lon's place?
12:13We ain't got time now.
12:14Charlie, please don't yell at him.
12:16He'll forget where he put the decorations.
12:18Uh, Floyd, would you please start handing things out to us?
12:22You bet.
12:24But Charlie and Sam will have to help you with this cow.
12:27Help the cow, Floyd.
12:30I don't know where Uncle Joe disappeared to.
12:33Maybe Betty will find him upstairs.
12:36Oh, Herbie, will you put these under the tree for us?
12:38We've got to find Uncle Joe.
12:40Uh, Billy, look up there.
12:42It's Christmas.
12:43Again?
12:45No, it's still the same tree.
12:47It's the same tree.
12:49It's the same tree.
12:50It's the same tree.
12:51It's the same tree.
12:52It's the same tree.
12:53It's the same tree.
12:55It's the same tree.
12:56It's the same tree.
12:58No, it's still the same Christmas,
13:00just a different mistletoe.
13:15Hey, Betty, did you find Uncle Joe?
13:17Not yet, Bobby.
13:19Well, he knows there's work to do.
13:20Look under the bed.
13:22That's the first place I looked.
13:24How about the living closet?
13:25Not there.
13:26We'll tell her to try the attic.
13:28Try the attic.
13:29Will do.
13:32Hey, where have you kids been?
13:33Looking for you.
13:34Where have you been?
13:35I've been trying to find you after half this Santy Claus outfit.
13:38Did you get the train all decorated?
13:40No, we haven't even started.
13:42Maybe I better go back and look some more.
13:43Uncle Joe, Mom wants you.
13:46Down at the train.
13:47There's work to do.
13:48It's getting late.
13:49I've got a lot of work to do on this beard.
13:51It's in bad shape.
13:53But Mr. Drucker got a brand new one.
13:56Middler.
13:57Betty, we found him.
13:59Come on down to the train.
14:00Okay.
14:01We'll seat out the train, Mr. Carson.
14:03Okay, I'll be there right away.
14:07Where did Floyd put the light bulbs?
14:09Don't tell him, Kate.
14:10You'll find them around the back of the train.
14:11Oh, thanks, Janet.
14:16Floyd smoked.
14:17We got a train to decorate and Christmas carols to rehearse,
14:21and here you sit milking a cow.
14:23She needed milking, Kate.
14:24You wouldn't want her bawling right in the middle of Silent Night.
14:28We're not going to take her along on the train when we go caroling.
14:31I don't see any other way to get her over to Lon Hawker's place in time for Christmas.
14:37Well, all right.
14:39Finish up as quick as you can.
14:42Hey, Sam, I hear you got me a new Santa Claus beard.
14:45Yeah.
14:46Well, you mean you.
14:47I'm Santa Claus this year.
14:48You was Santa Claus last year.
14:50I was not.
14:51Floyd was.
14:52That was about a year before.
14:53That was Pixley Fats.
14:54See?
14:55It's my turn this year.
14:57Well, you can forget it.
14:58I got the suit.
14:59Not the top half you ain't.
15:01So you're the one that hid that.
15:03I didn't hide it.
15:04I took it home, had my landlady let it out to fit me.
15:07Well, hand it over.
15:08I got to get dressed.
15:09Where's my beard, Sam?
15:10I gave it to Kate.
15:11Kate!
15:12Oh, please, fellas, don't make a big thing about who plays Santa Claus.
15:16We haven't got time.
15:17What is it?
15:18Kate, who's going to be Santa Claus, me or this greasy hog head?
15:21Uncle Joe, don't call Charlie that.
15:23Oh, that's just railroad talk for engineers.
15:25I don't care.
15:26I don't like it.
15:27All right.
15:28Who's going to be Santa Claus, me or this greasy pig head?
15:30Uncle Joe.
15:31Kate, if you let me be Santa Claus,
15:33I'll promise you a big, fat gobbler for Christmas dinner.
15:37You're always here for Christmas dinner.
15:40Anybody care for some fresh milk?
15:42Uncle Joe, take this up and put it in the icebox.
15:45We'll decide about Santa Claus later.
15:47You decide all you want, but I'm it.
15:49You got the padding for it, but it's on the wrong side.
15:52Boys, let's get busy stringing up these lights on the train, huh?
15:56Where are the bulbs flowing?
15:57They're in the baggage car.
15:59See?
16:00When you don't yell at me, I can remember.
16:07Mom!
16:08Mom!
16:09Betty Jo, you be careful up there.
16:11There's someone coming on a hand car from Hooterville.
16:14Hand car?
16:15Who is it?
16:16I can't tell for sure.
16:18It looks like Mr. Bedlow.
16:20Kate, Kate, look who's pumping up the track to spend Christmas with us.
16:23My old buddy, Homer Bedlow.
16:25You see, Charlotte, that was Mr. Bedlow we passed up at the Hooterville station.
16:29Oh, fine.
16:31With that and pumping 20 miles on a hand car,
16:33he's gonna be in a jolly mood.
16:35Just leave him to me.
16:37I don't need no help to handle Bedlow.
16:42Hey!
16:43What do you think you're doing to the property of the CNFW Railroad?
16:46We're decorating it for the annual Christmas carol sing, Mr. Bedlow.
16:49We go all the way across the valley singing and distributing gifts and baskets of food.
16:53It's a tradition, Mr. Bedlow.
16:54It was a tradition. Now start taking down those lights.
16:57Why?
16:58Violation of the CNFW rules and regulations.
17:01Well, how's old Homer Bedlow?
17:04Still looking for a way to get even with us for outsmarting you?
17:07No, not anymore.
17:09That's the Christmas spirit. Put her there.
17:11Christmas present for me?
17:13Homer, you shouldn't have done it.
17:15That's a legal writ, empowering me to seize and hold this train.
17:19Homer, you shouldn't have done it.
17:23Hey!
17:24Hey!
17:25Come on!
17:26Yeah!
17:45Adoremos dominum
18:03Mr. Bedlow, you being an educated city man and all,
18:07Bobby Joe thought you'd like to hear that beautiful song in Latin.
18:12Very nice. Lovely voice, that girl.
18:14She might be able to support you after the hotel's closed down.
18:18Now that the train's gone.
18:20You mean Betty Joe and Floyd got it away?
18:23No, no. You don't steal that train on me anymore.
18:26Even that clever little engineer daughter of yours can't run the cannonball without this throttle lever.
18:38Mr. Bedlow, you certainly are a brilliant man.
18:44Billy Joe, more fruitcake for Mr. Bedlow.
18:46Uncle Joe, more eggnog.
18:48Herbie, hurry with Mr. Bedlow's shoes.
18:50Charlie, get Mr. Bedlow a cigar.
18:52Bobby Joe, let's sing another Christmas carol for Mr. Bedlow, this time in English.
19:00Excuse me, Mr. Curtis.
19:14Yes?
19:15The pilot just returned from flying Mr. Bedlow to Hooterville,
19:19and he wanted to know if you'd be needing the plane.
19:21No, no. Tell him to...
19:23Hooterville? Bedlow went there?
19:25Yes, sir.
19:26He's going to inspect the cannonball.
19:28And he can find a thousand infractions.
19:31He is going to spoil Christmas for all those wonderful people.
19:35That mean, vengeful...
19:37Scrooge, sir?
19:39That's too good for Bedlow.
19:41Will you be needing the plane then, sir?
19:43No, the helicopter.
19:45I've got to land close to Shady Rest if I'm going to stop him in time.
19:56John, we now our gay apparel, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
20:13Troll the ancient Yuletide carol, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
20:21Very nice.
20:23Where's the eggnog?
20:25Where's that eggnog?
20:26Pour eggnog, Carson. Pour eggnog, Carson.
20:29Talking to me like I'm a section hand on his railroad.
20:34Oh, boy.
20:36That's all we need now.
20:38Nutty Norman, the hobo.
20:41Thank you, Mr. Carson.
20:43You remember me, Norman Curtis?
20:45Yeah, that's the way I remember you with your hand out.
20:48Hungry as usual, I suppose.
20:50Well, I cut you some food.
20:52But first, do you have a Homer Bedlow here at the CNFW Railroad?
20:56Yeah. If you're looking for him to give you a job, you're out of luck.
20:59That guy's the original Mr. Mean.
21:02What has he done?
21:03He grabbed the train, that's all.
21:05It's the end of the Hooderville Cannonball, the end of Shady Rest,
21:09and it's the end of your free handouts.
21:11Well, I'd like to talk to him alone. Send him in, will you?
21:13Can't you get it through your nutty noggin?
21:16Mr. Bedlow's a big shot.
21:18He ain't about to waste his time talking to a hobo.
21:21You tell him Norman P. Curtis wants him. He'll talk to me.
21:24Uncle Joe, hurry up with Mr. Bedlow.
21:27Norman Curtis.
21:29Merry Christmas, Kate.
21:31Well, I'm afraid this one isn't going to be a very merry one for us,
21:36but you get washed up,
21:39and we can at least give you one good hot meal before we close down.
21:43You got it, Mr. Bedlow.
21:45You got it, Mr. Bedlow.
21:47Oh, now it's Christmas Eve.
21:49I don't want to burden you with our troubles.
21:51From the looks of you, you've got plenty of your own.
21:54Carson, where's that eggnog?
21:56Coming right up, Mr. Bedlow, sir.
21:58I was delayed by this hobo coming to the door.
22:00Hobo?
22:02Bummin' rides in a CNFW railroad, weren't I?
22:04No, no, sir, Mr. Bedlow.
22:06Well, see that you don't, buddy, because I'm...
22:11I'm sick.
22:13Too much eggnog. I was afraid of that.
22:15I'll go get the bicarbonate.
22:17Uh, Kate, if you two will leave me alone with Mr. Bedlow,
22:20I think I know just how to straighten him out.
22:24All right, Kate.
22:26If anybody knows how to take care of a drunk, it's a hobo.
22:36All right, everybody, we can get started now.
22:38Here comes Santa Claus.
22:40Thank goodness that argument between Charlie and Joe
22:42got settled with no bloodshed.
22:44Yeah, that's the best Santa Claus ever.
22:53Merry Christmas.
22:55Be jolly, Bedlow.
22:57Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.
23:00Jollier.
23:02Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.
23:06Happy New Year.
23:09And a Happy New Year.
23:12Ho, ho, ho.
23:23Come, let's be merry, gentlemen,
23:25Let nothing you dismay.
23:27Remember Christ, our Savior,
23:29Was born on Christmas Day.
23:31To save us all from Satan's power
23:34When we were gone astray.
23:36Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
23:40Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
23:43Let the halls with boughs of holly
23:45Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
23:48Tis the season to be jolly
23:50Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
23:52Don we now our gay apparel
23:54Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
23:57Let the halls with boughs of holly
23:59Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
24:02Tis the season to be jolly
24:04Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
24:06High and high, holy night
24:14All is calm, all is bright
24:22Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child
24:31Oh, what fun it is to ride
24:37In a one-horse open sleigh
24:39Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
24:43Oh, what fun it is to ride
24:45In a one-horse open sleigh
24:47Merry Christmas, everybody!
24:49Merry Christmas!
24:50Merry Christmas!
25:00music
25:26Petticoat Junction
25:30This has been a Filmways presentation.