King Of The Hill Season 4 Episode 18 Won't You Pimai Neighbor
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00 [music]
00:02 [music]
00:04 (Music)
00:32 (Music)
00:40 (Music)
00:41 Don't cold can me.
00:43 (Laughter)
00:45 Here you go.
00:46 RSVP means Respondez-vous, Si vous Plaît.
00:50 Which in redneck means pick up phone and call to give me head count for big Laotian New Year's party.
00:57 New Year's party?
00:59 We're not falling for a New Year's party in April, Con.
01:03 We are not April fools.
01:05 You are dumb as chimps.
01:08 Laotians use lunar calendar so our New Year come in April.
01:12 It's called P-Mighty.
01:14 So when do you pay your taxes? August?
01:17 Okay, this real simple.
01:20 You all come to my big P-Mighty party, get out of your stinking pig pens for a night,
01:26 see what it's like to live in a pottery barn catalog.
01:32 Huh, so Con's party is for real.
01:37 I'm an RSVP, I'm not going.
01:39 Nope.
01:40 Uh-uh.
01:41 Je respond non.
01:43 Absolument non.
01:48 I'm gonna make a P-Mighty resolution to kiss you every day and to get out more.
01:57 Con Junior!
01:58 I better go.
01:59 If my dad sees us together, well, he thinks I'm collecting soil samples.
02:05 Your dad's days of hating me are coming to a close.
02:09 Who can hate a kid who can Charleston?
02:16 Bye.
02:17 Hank, we are going to that party.
02:19 They are Connie's parents and it's not like there is a stream of girls lining up to date Bobby.
02:25 There is one.
02:26 Yeah, used to be none.
02:29 Exactly.
02:30 That is why we are going to do our part and pretend that we like Con and Min.
02:36 Now, let's practice.
02:38 I'll be Con.
02:40 You are a dumb redneck!
02:42 That sounds more like Min.
02:44 Leave my wife out of this hillbilly.
02:48 I wish they'd move.
02:51 I'm not wearing that to the P-Mighty party.
02:54 I don't know why you buy clothes for me online.
02:57 Wasana Song's might come.
02:58 Jane Wasana Song is the biggest shank in our class.
03:02 They are a very important family.
03:04 Ted Wasana Song, member of the Nine Rivers Country Club.
03:08 Hey, hey, hey!
03:09 I just got a big call.
03:11 Ted Wasana Song?
03:13 Yes!
03:14 They are coming to our party and Ted says they are bringing along important monks.
03:19 Buddhist monks?
03:20 Yeah, yeah, Buddhist whatever, monks.
03:23 I'll get shrimp!
03:24 Yeah, big shrimp!
03:26 These monks are looking for a reborn spirit of some llama, name of Llama Sanglog.
03:31 Lesser known llama but still spiritual big shot any way you slice it.
03:35 They think he reincarnated in this area.
03:38 They look all over MacManaberry, turn up squat.
03:42 Ted says all signs point to Jane.
03:45 You hear that, Connie?
03:47 Jane could be a llama, a great leader.
03:50 What makes everybody so sure that Jane is the llama?
03:53 He's second oboist, runner up in Westinghouse signs contest and he has terrific posture.
04:00 I'm first violin and a Westinghouse winner.
04:03 How do you know I'm not the llama?
04:05 Connie, a llama?
04:08 Oh, that'd be amazing!
04:10 Finally stuck up jerk Ted was on a song I had to kiss my ass!
04:15 Hey Hank!
04:38 Bill.
04:39 Happy be my...
04:41 Damn it, Bill!
04:45 Boy, I get to be my custom.
04:47 I'm in.
04:48 Oh, gentle Christian neighbor.
04:59 As you might hear from my daughter Sanglog, I mean Connie.
05:06 Ha ha! Where'd that come from?
05:09 They throw water on you to wash away the old year and bring luck for the new.
05:15 Ow!
05:16 Connie, Connie.
05:20 I saw Jane trying to suck up to the monks by wrapping up a to-go plate.
05:24 He is such a loser.
05:26 Talk to the junior monk.
05:28 He likes oceanography.
05:31 And who went to oceanography camp?
05:35 Me and Jane.
05:38 Hey, Todd, I found one of your Heinekens sitting in the back of one of the crisper drawers.
05:45 Can I have it?
05:46 Oh, that not my beer!
05:50 I don't drink.
05:53 Min said it was yours.
05:56 Take it!
05:57 He village idiot.
06:01 And in this village, not really saying something.
06:04 And yet Connie, my daughter, still read to him.
06:08 Good luck trying to be a llama.
06:11 You don't have to try to be a llama.
06:14 You either are or you aren't.
06:17 And I am.
06:18 Why would a llama want to come back as a third oboe?
06:21 Second Connie.
06:22 Any woodwind.
06:24 And when she little girl, she name her goldfish Llamasanglog.
06:32 We would like to lay out some artifacts for your daughter and the Wassanasong boy to observe.
06:39 If either child is the reincarnated llama, they will choose correctly.
06:45 Oh, yeah, the test! I go get her.
06:48 I need the keys to the aerostar.
06:51 Hey, yard sale. How much for the bell?
06:58 No, this is a test.
07:00 One of these objects belonged to a revered llama before he died.
07:05 Sabaha.
07:07 His reborn spirit will recognize the object and choose it.
07:11 Oh, let me try. How much is it? Dollar a play?
07:15 Okay, son. You the llama. You the llama.
07:25 Watch close. Every monk has a tail.
07:28 Hurry, hurry. You got to pick before ten.
07:31 Ah, hi there.
07:33 It's great to see the kids enjoying a good old pee-pee-malpah-pon party.
07:40 Out of my way, you redneck. It's test time.
07:44 Hey, Peggy does do a good you.
07:48 Uh-oh.
07:50 Oh, no. I'll stall him.
08:01 Hey, Jane. Watch the move with me.
08:06 (singing)
08:08 Bobby?
08:21 No, no, no, no, no. Please get up. I'm just a worm-a-bat.
08:33 Here's Connie to take the test.
08:36 Bobby, you just took the test.
08:39 Uh, no I didn't. Uh, Connie, here's your cane.
08:46 You have selected correctly.
08:50 That cane belonged to Sanglag.
08:54 Ah, Sabaha.
08:57 Bobby, we believe you are a very special child.
09:02 Sanglag was also joyful and given to dance.
09:06 You could be destined to be a spiritual leader as the reincarnation of Lama Sanglag.
09:13 Okay, show's over. We're going home.
09:17 This is all a big mistake. You don't want me.
09:22 No, Bobby. Today you passed a very important test.
09:27 Our leader, the Rinpoche, will come here next Sunday to confirm our findings.
09:34 Look here. I can't stop you from doing what you do at the airports,
09:40 but in my neighborhood, you'll stay away from my son.
09:44 Thanks a lot, Bobby.
09:46 But I didn't do anything. That guy in the dress is Luku.
09:53 That guy is a monk, and that dress is a robe, and my religion is not a joke.
10:00 They're not taking this very well. One of us should stay.
10:08 What? What?
10:17 Aw, come on. I'm not sleeping in that van another night.
10:21 No, we're blessed to be in a town with a most generous Buddhist family.
10:29 Oh, good. Company. Blow up the air mattress.
10:35 Oh, and they thought it was gonna be Connie.
10:41 Well, I always knew my Bobby was destined for greatness.
10:46 To be perfectly honest, didn't see Lama.
10:49 The Buddhists think Bobby is a holy man. Now that's just sad.
10:55 Hank, Hank, Hank, listen to this. Richard Gere is a Buddhist.
11:01 Just keeps getting sadder.
11:04 Is this what you dragged me out here for? Soft-serve ice cream at the student union?
11:12 That was an unscheduled detour.
11:18 The campus Buddhist club is the main attraction.
11:22 Don't tell anyone I'm a Lama. I want to blend in.
11:28 This act symbolizes when the Buddha left his palace to become a monk
11:36 and cut off his long hair with a sword.
11:39 My parents don't go to things like this. There's no one here they want to meet.
11:47 Thanks for bringing me, Bobby.
11:49 Thank you for the ice cream cone.
11:52 A real Lama wouldn't be thinking of super-cut jokes in the middle of the ceremony, right?
11:58 Well, Lama Sang Lung always said that the funniest joke comes from the tedium of meditation.
12:04 He was a wonderfully funny man. He often wore his begging bowl like a hat.
12:10 I'd do that with my cereal bowl.
12:13 Bobby, there are some teachings that I think may help you on your journey.
12:18 Cool.
12:22 No pictures?
12:27 Maybe this will help.
12:31 Hey! Let go of my finger!
12:40 Do let go of my beer!
12:41 So help me, Bill, don't mess with my trigger finger!
12:44 No, no, what are you going to do? Shoot me with my beer? I don't think so.
12:49 Why are friends fighting?
12:51 Deep on his finger in my beer.
12:53 He dared me to.
12:55 You fight, but you both have the same goal, right?
13:00 So?
13:01 Mr. Gribble, I want you to relax and imagine your finger sliding right out of Mr. D'Autrieve's beer.
13:10 That is the single most ridiculous thing I've ever...
13:15 Chain Wasana-san could never have done that.
13:24 Ah, Chain's a good guy.
13:26 Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the dun, buy me some crackers and apple jack.
13:37 Oh, my knee-pod mayhem, oh my...
13:43 No way! No god dang way!
13:47 Dad, I was this close to enlightenment.
13:52 You can call putting paint on your head anything you want, but we're Christians and we don't do that kind of stuff.
14:00 Why do you think we go to church every Sunday? For fun?
14:03 Well, why do we go?
14:05 Because we're Methodist.
14:07 Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you, what is Methodism anyway?
14:12 Methodism is a rejection of Calvinism.
14:18 Ah, ah yeah.
14:20 So, Bobby, you heard her. You can't be a llama.
14:25 Oh, you're the boy. Congratulations.
14:30 Now, hold on. Wait, we're supposed to be on the same team here.
14:35 Of course we are. Bobby, do you love Jesus?
14:39 With all my heart.
14:41 Buddhist liar.
14:42 Mr. Hill, I would prefer it if Bobby were simply a devout Methodist, but if he can use this experience to connect to his spirituality sincerely, then...
14:50 Yeah, yeah, okay, we're running late. Reverend, I'll see you Sunday.
14:55 We could always use an extra heart at the homeless prayer service on Saturday morning.
14:59 I'll mention it to the missus.
15:01 Listen to the wind. Let the wind take the world away.
15:08 What do you hear inside, Connie?
15:11 I just hear my dad's ignorance and my mom's empty-headed materialism.
15:16 No, wait, wait. I hear my dad's empty-headed materialism, too. That's the loudest.
15:24 You expect too much of them, Connie. Sometimes you have to let things be as they are.
15:31 So your parents don't like me? Eh. I'm carrying a few extra pounds? Eh.
15:37 Easy for you to say. You're a llama.
15:40 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. I'm teaching here.
15:44 Listen with your heart. The beating of it will drown out everything else.
15:50 All that's left will be the sound of us.
15:55 Kiss me, Sand Glug.
15:58 My child is an honor student at Westview Elementary.
16:15 Yeah? Well, my child is God to billions of Asians.
16:20 Hey, Connie. I noticed that you couldn't stop looking over at me.
16:29 I kept hearing flats. I assumed they were coming from you.
16:33 Now, come on, you two. If one of you plays flats and the other plays sharps, we will have perfect harmony.
16:41 That doesn't even make sense, nitwit.
16:44 Shut up. You're just jealous because you weren't chosen as llama.
16:49 I'm glad I'm not a llama. The chain train stops for the ladies.
16:55 What is that supposed to mean?
16:57 Llamas can't have wives. They can't even have girlfriends.
17:02 Is that true, Bubby?
17:06 It can't be. I mean, how do they get new llamas if the llamas can't...
17:12 Oh, no. Reincarnation.
17:17 I got it. I'm leaving the Buddhahood.
17:29 Bobby, I won't let you. I want to be with you, too, but it's not our choice.
17:36 If you're Sand Glug, you're Sand Glug. It's meant to be.
17:40 I can always tank the test. I'll pick a bell. Who owns a bell?
17:46 What if it is the bell?
17:48 I'll pick another cane. They wouldn't make it the same thing twice.
17:52 Bobby, don't make this a game. If you don't take that test tomorrow,
17:57 I'm going to be wondering for the rest of my life if you're a llama.
18:01 And if you are, I'll be disrespecting Buddha every day.
18:05 I can't live with that.
18:08 So, how long you been celibate?
18:12 Three years.
18:14 The fourth year is a tough one.
18:18 You. You go tell my boy he's not a llama. Now.
18:24 I can't tell him that, because it's not up to me.
18:27 There's a Buddhist saying, "As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart,
18:32 the wind cannot overturn a mountain."
18:37 You're talking like a song from the Lion King. Stop that. It makes no sense.
18:43 Or does it make perfect sense?
18:45 What the... See, that's the type of... I'm going to kick your ass.
18:51 If my ass is going to be kicked, then it will be kicked.
18:55 Wha...
19:01 To the celibacy of monks!
19:04 The celibacy of monks.
19:07 Oh, there, there, Khan Junior. We know how you must feel.
19:18 But really, you just dollared a chubby white bullet.
19:29 Oh, money, pardon me.
19:32 Oh, money.
19:36 I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
19:39 Llama Song Lug, I miss Connie so much.
19:44 Wait. I'm Llama Song Lug.
19:48 What should we do? Give us a sign.
19:52 I am the great Llama Song Lug.
19:56 And you are not. Forget about that dang Buddhist hui.
20:01 I command you...
20:04 Pat, what are you doing?
20:07 Uh, nothing. I was just walking by, and I thought I heard...
20:12 Uh, don't take the test tomorrow.
20:15 I have to.
20:16 What have they got on you, boy?
20:18 I'm in a jam here.
20:20 Connie says she'll have to dump me if I don't take the test.
20:25 Well, we definitely can't have that.
20:28 That's why I'm praying my guts out.
20:31 But I'm not getting an answer.
20:34 I don't know what to do.
20:37 Uh, everything is gonna...
20:40 It's gonna be all right.
20:43 So, just hang in there.
20:47 Okay, then.
20:54 Don't forget to brush.
20:57 Okay, here we go.
21:09 Lord, Hank Hill here, Methodist.
21:13 Sorry about missing the homeless prayer service.
21:17 Now, about Bobby, I'm pretty sure we're on the same page about this llama thing.
21:24 I was kinda hoping that you could just have him fail this test tomorrow.
21:28 You know, like you've had him fail so many other tests in the past.
21:34 Uh, oh, and, uh, the starving kids.
21:38 I've gotta go. Amen.
21:41 [♪♪♪]
21:45 [♪♪♪]
22:11 Hey, Bobby Hill, look. I got a statue of Buddha.
22:15 Separated at birth or what?
22:18 If he picks right, he gets to keep all those prizes.
22:32 Mm-hmm. What if he picks wrong?
22:35 Cap snaffler.
22:37 He can take those caps off all sorts of jugs, bottles, and jars, and it really, really works.
22:43 This is the final test.
22:49 Please, choose an item you see on this rug.
22:53 [SIGHS]
22:55 [♪♪♪]
22:59 [♪♪♪]
23:02 I can pick anything I see on this rug?
23:21 Yes.
23:23 I pick Connie, right there in the mirror.
23:26 [GASPS]
23:28 I make him pick for real. He cheating.
23:30 There is no cheating. The test has been taken. He has chosen.
23:35 Oh, Bobby.
23:37 [SCREAMS]
23:40 Do you think maybe I should pick?
23:45 No.
23:47 [♪♪♪]
23:51 [♪♪♪]
23:54 Hmm, pack it up.
23:59 But that was Zanglok's mirror.
24:02 I know, but he didn't pick it.
24:04 But he used it.
24:06 Hmm. Tough call.
24:09 But it's mine, and I made it.
24:12 [♪♪♪]
24:19 [♪♪♪]
24:22 [CHEERING]
24:47 [♪♪♪]
24:50 Yeah, yeah, Buddhist whatever, monks.