Born Without Arms - & My Date Thinks I'm Cute | DATING DIFFERENT
INGA, 23, was born with upper limb aplasia, at the moment she is a student of Philosophy & Criminal Justice at the University of Pittsburgh .She has learned to live with no arms and does everything with her feet, from eating to putting on makeup and even playing the cello with her toes. Today we see Inga go on her first blind date with Dustin who is also on his first ever blind date. Will the two hit it off and will sparks fly?
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00:00 I was born without arms.
00:01 I am getting ready for a blind date.
00:04 The outfit that I'm wearing shows my shoulders
00:08 so that my date will know that I don't have arms.
00:11 Meeting someone that uses their feet for everything,
00:14 it can pose a lot of questions.
00:17 That's why I'm doing this.
00:20 I hope you didn't see it, so don't be scared.
00:23 Hi!
00:24 - Hi, how's it going?
00:25 - Can I give you a hug?
00:26 - Yeah, sure.
00:27 - You are very cute.
00:28 - You too.
00:29 - Did they tell you I didn't have arms?
00:31 - Well, you don't have arms.
00:33 - Oh my God, I know.
00:33 Where the (beep) did they go?
00:34 I just don't have the stamina to do this every day,
00:41 but I do enjoy doing it.
00:42 I was born without arms.
00:44 Medically, that would just be called
00:45 bilateral fallacia of the upper limbs.
00:48 I'm getting ready for my date.
00:49 Maybe wear some perfume so I don't smell bad.
00:52 I'm definitely very self-conscious about it.
00:54 Meeting someone that uses their feet for everything,
00:57 it can pose a lot of questions.
01:01 That's why I'm doing this.
01:02 The people can see it's not that scary.
01:05 The outfit that I'm wearing shows my shoulders
01:07 so that my date will know that I don't have arms.
01:10 That's gonna have to be okay.
01:14 Wow, I'm really terrified.
01:23 - My name is Dustin.
01:24 I'm 27 years old and I'm in med school.
01:27 My type is somebody that I can vibe with really well,
01:31 that we can have a really easy conversation.
01:33 - Hi.
01:40 - Hi, how's it going?
01:41 - Can I give you a hug?
01:42 - Yeah, sure.
01:43 - How are you?
01:44 - Good, how are you?
01:45 - Good.
01:45 - What's your name?
01:48 - My name's Inga, what's yours?
01:49 - Dustin.
01:50 - Dustin?
01:51 - Yeah.
01:51 - Have you ever done a blind date before?
01:53 - No, first one.
01:54 - This is my first one too.
01:55 - Nice, yeah.
01:56 So do you work here?
01:58 Are you going to school or?
01:59 - Yeah, I'm in my third year of med school.
02:01 - Oh my God, that's so cool.
02:02 What kind of medicine do you wanna practice?
02:05 - So I'm leaning towards psychiatry.
02:07 That's definitely what my interests are.
02:10 Yeah, thanks.
02:11 - Oh my goodness, wait, can I ask what you are?
02:12 - I'm 27.
02:13 - Okay.
02:14 - Yeah, how about you?
02:15 - I'm 22, but I'm turning 23 on the 23rd.
02:18 - Oh, nice.
02:18 - Of this month, yeah.
02:19 So I'm very excited.
02:20 - Very cool.
02:21 - I'm philosophy and law, criminal justice and society.
02:24 But I wanna go into law school, obviously.
02:27 Do you drink coffee?
02:28 Do you wanna order coffee?
02:29 - I would love coffee.
02:30 - I was gonna get you water,
02:31 but then things got really busy,
02:33 so I'm sorry I didn't get you water.
02:35 - It's all good.
02:36 No worries.
02:37 - Oh my God, thank you.
02:38 Oh my God, look at the flowers.
02:39 Look, do you wanna try this?
02:40 It's really good.
02:41 - Yeah, sure.
02:42 - It's not yummy.
02:43 No, yeah, you're so good.
02:44 - It's really good.
02:46 - I think you are very cute.
02:48 - You too.
02:49 - Did they tell you I didn't have arms?
02:53 - No, well you don't have arms.
02:55 - Oh my God, I know.
02:56 Where the (beep) did they go?
02:56 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - I know.
02:57 I literally had to go out and find them.
02:59 No, I was like, I wonder what they'll say about it.
03:02 - Yeah, I mean, you know, what can you say about it?
03:05 - Yeah.
03:06 - Growing up without arms,
03:08 it's very interesting, right?
03:10 Because you sort of live with it every day.
03:13 So even though I feel like I have had to spend
03:17 my entire life working to find new solutions
03:19 to do things or to get places or to do what I wanna do,
03:22 it's the only thing I've ever known.
03:24 So for me, it's not this crazy different thing.
03:28 It's just sort of adapting in a world
03:30 where you are not the standard norm, I guess.
03:35 - Do you mind if I ask you questions about it?
03:38 So like, is it something that you were born with
03:40 or is it something that happened later on?
03:42 - Yeah, so I'm adopted,
03:44 so I don't know a lot of like my personal history,
03:46 but I've just always been born without them.
03:49 - How's that been?
03:50 - I mean, it's a lot of over known,
03:52 so I think it's been a pretty chill time.
03:55 I think like when I was younger,
03:56 I felt like really guilty about it,
03:59 living in a society that's not very adaptable to that
04:02 and like needing help through that.
04:03 But then recently I was just kind of like,
04:06 is that my fault or is that just the fact
04:09 that we live in a society that's like very geared
04:12 towards one very specific kind of person.
04:15 - I think you have such a great attitude about it.
04:17 - Thank you.
04:18 - You know, I mean,
04:19 I'm not like-- - Thank you.
04:20 - You know.
04:21 - Okay, I'm gonna go use the restroom.
04:23 I'll be right back.
04:24 - Sounds good.
04:25 - Okay, okay.
04:26 He seems very sweet.
04:28 He seems funny, which I like.
04:30 And yeah, it's going really well.
04:34 He's cute.
04:35 He has a nice, cute little flirty smile.
04:38 I like it when he smiles.
04:40 Do they ask you any questions?
04:44 - Yeah.
04:45 - I'm like, can I ask what they asked when you said?
04:47 (laughing)
04:48 They're like, what do you think?
04:49 And I was like, I gotta get out of here.
04:50 - Like, (beep)
04:51 - I gotta--
04:52 - I gotta run.
04:53 - I gotta run.
04:54 - I gotta go.
04:55 - Yeah, but I'm assuming you said the same.
04:56 - Yeah.
04:57 Can you ever switch my straw over?
04:58 - Yeah, sure.
04:59 - Yeah, okay.
05:00 (bell ringing)
05:03 Okay, you asked something.
05:04 I've been asking questions.
05:05 Your turn.
05:05 - Sure, so do you go out much?
05:08 - I think of myself as very extroverted and I am,
05:11 but like, I don't go out very much.
05:16 I live with three roommates and sometimes my roommates
05:19 will go like one, two, like three times a weekend,
05:22 which is great and amazing for them.
05:24 I just don't have the stamina for it.
05:27 I'm more of like a drink boxed wine and take my Adderall
05:32 and do homework in bed kind of girl.
05:34 - Love it.
05:35 - It's very nice.
05:35 - Very chill.
05:36 - Sometimes I go out and I'm completely fine
05:39 and I feel so confident and I have such a great time
05:42 and I will get hit on and it's great.
05:45 And then there are definitely some times though
05:47 where I'll just have like one too many people like,
05:50 look at me and it's always like, do they think I'm cute?
05:53 Do they think I'm harmless?
05:54 Are they uncomfortable?
05:55 Are they being creepy?
05:57 - Yeah.
05:58 - And then I can get like really in my head
06:00 and like sometimes I'll go out for like 30 minutes
06:01 and I'm like, I have to go home.
06:03 - I'm 100%.
06:04 I mean, you know, I'm not harmless.
06:06 So I don't know your experience.
06:07 - I completely understand.
06:08 I'm gonna chop them off right now.
06:11 - But I mean, you know, there's so much like truth
06:13 into what you say.
06:14 - And I think I have to remember
06:15 that this happens to everyone too.
06:17 Like if I do something clumsy, I'm like,
06:19 oh, it's 'cause I don't have arms or I don't do this.
06:20 And I have to remember, I'm like,
06:23 yes, you do things differently,
06:24 but like everyone has bad nights.
06:26 Like, and I think it is kind of important
06:29 to like not reflect on yourself.
06:30 'Cause like people can be kind of gross.
06:33 - Yeah.
06:34 Do you have a hot take on anything?
06:36 - I have a few hot takes.
06:39 - Let's hear 'em.
06:40 - Okay. - Shoot.
06:41 - You're not gonna like the first one, one.
06:43 Cats are not my favorite animal.
06:45 I think snakes and reptiles are.
06:47 - I gotta go.
06:51 - Secondly, very controversial take.
06:54 I feel like ghosts exist, I'm sorry.
06:56 Do I have any proof?
06:58 No, but like sometimes something will happen
07:01 and I'm like, no, like literally
07:03 you have a (beep) ghost.
07:05 - For sure.
07:05 I think anything's possible.
07:07 - Yeah. - Ghosts can be out there.
07:09 Aliens are for sure out there.
07:10 - For sure.
07:11 Maybe it's the aliens disguised as ghosts.
07:13 - Yeah. - Yeah.
07:15 It was so nice meeting you.
07:16 - Yeah, it was really nice meeting you too.
07:17 - You have a nice smile.
07:18 I like talking to you.
07:19 - Thanks, you do too.
07:21 Do you wanna get out of here?
07:22 - Yeah. - Okay, cool.
07:23 - Okay.
07:24 - How'd the date go?
07:26 - I think it went pretty well.
07:29 What do you think?
07:30 - I think it went pretty well.
07:31 - Sweet.
07:32 - I liked just like being able to like laugh
07:35 and kind of like shoot the (beep) a little bit.
07:37 - Yeah, for sure.
07:38 - Will you see each other again?
07:40 - I hope so.
07:41 I hope we see each other again.
07:43 - What do you think?
07:44 - I think we should see each other again.
07:46 - Sweet. - Yeah.
07:47 - Yeah.
07:48 - Dating is supposed to be like light and fun.
07:52 And so, you know, even if you do like have a disability
07:55 or something that you're self-conscious of,
07:57 just like be willing and open to just not, you know,
08:00 take yourself too seriously
08:02 and just find those like little pockets of joy
08:05 and just being able to connect with another person.
08:08 - Amen.
08:09 (silence)
08:11 (silence)
08:13 (silence)
08:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]